Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 122. Nish Kumar - S9 Ep.3

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

To carry on the Series 9 journey Ed is joined by Nish Kumar. They dig deep in to Ep 3 and it's a particularly bad performance from Ed. Nish reveals what his initial thoughts on the line up were and wh...y he predicted a Gamble or Matafeo win. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, host of it. Very excited today to be continuing to talk about Series 9, the series that if you've been asleep or living under a rock, I'll let you know that I am on this series. And you know what? I think objectively it's a good series as well. But today's episode doesn't exactly cover me in glory. So of course we have to have one of the UK's sharpest social commentators to talk about this episode.
Starting point is 00:00:43 And a dear, dear friend of mine, Nish Kumar, is our special guest to pick apart everything that happened about this episode and a dear dear friend of mine Nish Kumar is our special guest to pick apart everything that happened in this episode not that my contributions in this episode need much picking apart anyway they are just a series of loose threads very excited to chat to Nish about this episode and also his predictions for the upcoming Series 15. And some exciting news before we speak to Nish. We have a date for the first episode of Series 15 of Taskmaster. Very excited to see this. The 30th of March, Thursday the 30th of March. That's very, very soon, starting at 9pm on Channel 4, of course.
Starting point is 00:01:21 And we will be doing podcasts every week, as usual. We will be here with the taskmaster podcast talking about series 15 episode 1 on the 30th of march straight after the episode so 10 o'clock it will drop and we have a very special guest daro breen daro breen series 14 champion will be here with us to talk about the first episode of series 15 that's 10 p.m the podcast will drop straight after the episode on channel 4 30th of march but now let's talk to nish kumar welcome back nish kumar to the taskmaster podcast hello edward good to see you very nice to see you of course uh not that i don't see you about four times a week anyway but you did but
Starting point is 00:02:05 you did uh let's uh let's reveal all the details here you did have to call me to remind me that we're recording this because yes we're yeah nish had forgotten we're recording we started recording 26 minutes late uh i texted nish saying where are you no response uh called him where are you nish i'm just in my house. Okay. So we're supposed to be doing this. Have you watched the episode? Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Have you though, Nish? Because we do need you to watch the episode. I have watched the episode. So you did the prep work. Bit of a surprise to get a phone call from Gamble, that's all. Yeah, I'm not a phone chatter. I much prefer to do it on text. Get my tone across.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Now, Nish, let's brush all that under the carpet. You know, you're here now. And we're here and it's finally come around. The gamble. See, I understand this is not the first episode that you've talked about about you doing Taskmaster, but this is the first opportunity I've had to discuss your series of Taskmaster
Starting point is 00:03:07 the quizzer becomes the quizzy and also the quizzer, there's a lot of self-quizzing that's been going on in the first two episodes slash existential crises and it's I mean this is a coincidence but I think
Starting point is 00:03:24 we have selected for you one of my worst episodes one of my uh one of my biggest disaster episodes there's a couple of real howlers in here which I was annoyed they were grouped together but then I think it overall in terms of the placing in the series I think it probably worked to my advantage that I got a lot of my terrible ones out of the way early in a way that I did okay in the prize task and very well in the live task. So, enough stats. Let's take you back all the way, Nish,
Starting point is 00:03:54 all the way to just before the series was announced or when you heard who was going to be on the series. What were your thoughts about the Series 9 lineup? Well, obviously, like, a lot of the time I forget. You know, it's been going on for so long. I know exactly what my thoughts were because I shared them with your then-fiancé or maybe just girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:04:17 There were some panicked texts going around between me, your now-, and my still girlfriend. Yes. Because you and Rose were on the same series now. Yes. I don't want it to sound like we're all comedians, are friends with each other, and we all live in the same big house. But we are all friends with each other, and Rose and I did live in the same house.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Yeah, we previously lived in the same house. And we previously lived in it. So it's not a great sample size in terms of dispelling the myth that we're all friends. Now, so I know Rose very well. I know you extremely well. Yes. You're both,
Starting point is 00:05:00 and I'm trying to think of the most loving way to put this. Don't bother. Just tell us the truth. Rip the bandaid off. Oh, terrifyingly competitive in even the most seemingly benign of scenarios. I've done escape rooms with the two of you and the main thing I need to escape from
Starting point is 00:05:15 is the prospect of you two killing each other over who's going to do which puzzle. Yeah, and let me tell you, Nish, it would be a lot more relaxing if you weren't in that escape room. Absolutely useless. Spare part. I'm just trying to crack Y's in the background.
Starting point is 00:05:30 Yeah, but it's not about cracking Y's, it's about cracking codes. I'm like LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea. I'm just cracking Y's in the background while the main action is happening in the foreground. Yeah, I wish you were like Samuel L Jackson in Deep Blue Sea. An early exit, please please from nish kuma
Starting point is 00:05:47 this has already got very very specific about the plot points of deep blue sea so were you worried about what about us coming to blows or us sort of ruining the whole show i was i wasn't worried about you two ruining the whole show because as we know, sometimes the tensest episodes make the best viewing experiences. But I genuinely was concerned about the two of you getting so competitive that it confused and baffled everyone else
Starting point is 00:06:19 you were on the panel with. But as it turned out, it was an absolutely great laugh. Yeah, it was a great laugh. And I think it was well balanced. I mean, obviously me and Rose are very competitive. I would say that we're competitive in different ways. So when things don't go well, I get angry and Rose gets depressed,
Starting point is 00:06:36 I think it's fair to say, just absolutely folds in on herself. Head in hands. Again, let's not throw too far forward to champion of champions but that it does your champion of champions does feature one of the all-time great taskmaster meltdowns and i say that as a proponent of several of the top 10 taskmaster meltdowns yeah i mean your whole series really i don't when i say it when i say it i mean it's a compliment that's what i'm saying i don't think in your Taskmaster series you were ever not melted down. I don't think we ever saw the solid Nish Kumar form.
Starting point is 00:07:12 It was just meltdown, meltdown, meltdown, sing a song, end of series. How did you feel when you were, I mean, you must have been, as I was, very excited to be asked to do the show. Of course, yeah, buzzing. I'd been not waiting for it, because that would suggest that I thought I had any right to do the show. It was certainly on my list of things that I would absolutely love to do, so I was very, very excited,
Starting point is 00:07:39 and even more excited to hear my fellow competitors. Yeah, how quickly did you find out the full lineup? Very soon as I was asked, I think. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think they were doing eight and nine at the same time, so there's a bit of shifting round. So I think they'd finally settled on it. And yeah, I was very, very excited.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Obviously, friends with Rose. I knew that she loved stuff like this. So very excited to do it with her uh badil more of an enigma to me at that stage and he remains as such well he does remain an enigma but also very much an open book from the very first episode of the series yeah sorry the enigma is uh what was he thinking yeah but then certainly as soon as as soon as we started the first episode he has a good prize task in the first episode i was like hello we got ourselves a player here yeah yeah we got ourselves a mortimer first first film task i was like right at least i'm not coming bottom and then
Starting point is 00:08:39 joe obviously an absolute legend and was very excited to hang out with her and meet her and and watch her work and you know i've pretty much straight away thought well at least i'm not coming second bottom because joe joe does things on her own terms uh and her terms are quite often i could not give a shit so um i i'll go out on a limb here and say potentially the most popular person in comedy Oh for sure People who work in comedy I'll say
Starting point is 00:09:14 potentially the most universally beloved Absolutely She's not only a brilliant comedian but an absolute delight but also just very chill so yeah like working with joe was a real treat uh and then obviously she doesn't give a fuck let's not be around the bush here brand she really doesn't she doesn't give one single
Starting point is 00:09:39 solitary fuck but it's also very good at this show as well like it's that's why yeah exactly it's a it's a real string to someone's bow that they don't give a fuck sometimes on taskmaster because they will just sort of wander towards a good result a lot of the time um but then they very rarely win they don't give a fuck people uh and katie obviously uh both you and i are huge fans of katie huge fans of katie wicks yeah brilliant yeah huge fans going back toicks. Huge fans of Katie Wicks. Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, huge fans. Going back to Anna and Katie and Penny Spubb. Huge fans. Yes, yeah, very, very funny.
Starting point is 00:10:11 And she brings a lot of that energy to the show as well. Sort of slightly understated, little bit offbeat energy. And as we'll see later on, in the artistic tasks, she really flourishes. When you heard the line-up, Nish, did you have a winner in mind? Did you think, oh, that person's going to win? Well, I thought that the trophy would end up in your or Rose's hands and whether those hands were covered in the blood of your competitors
Starting point is 00:10:40 was immaterial to the both of you in terms of your motivations yeah i had a feeling that um brandy would be to her energy would mainly be i simply couldn't care less yeah and i'm here to entertain myself and the audience at home about not necessarily like but i thought um katie's energy i thought would be more sort of um would be a bit more off kilter katie in a way is the competitor i thought she would be like like you say very good at the creative tasks yeah um and i thought that david baddiel might get lost on the way to the studio see i didn't it was a surprise that david was a surprise to me i thought when it was announced i thought baddiel might do all right here, you know, because he's so smart.
Starting point is 00:11:28 And it really was a surprise. Well, as we know, Ed, and I'm trying not to let my own experience of the show colour my feelings about it in any way. But sometimes the most, I'll say, conventionally intelligent competitors actually do quite poorly. Yes, correct. But you are very intelligent, of course, and people know that from your work. I love facts. Yeah, you love facts,
Starting point is 00:11:55 although some people would disagree with that. I also, obviously, I think a lot of people would know as well that you have a separate part of your personality which is complete moron and loves indulging that. You love indulging that side of yourself. So I think it would be less of a surprise. Every person is a tapestry. Can't make a tapestry out of a single colour of cloth, baby. Yeah, David Baddiel's tapestry is on fire
Starting point is 00:12:22 and covered in his own shit somehow. Let's talk about the prize task in this episode. Weirdest wooden thing. Now, this is a strong prize task category, but very difficult to select a prize for, I think. Yeah. I thought.
Starting point is 00:12:50 How quickly did you go to this? It popped in pretty quickly because I like that, that ornament. Again, I can't, again, I don't want to get too lost in the weeds of the years and years in which I've known you, but this,
Starting point is 00:13:02 I could, I think if you had told me the prize task is weirdest wooden thing and it's going to be something my father has bought, I think I would have ended up drawing this. It's so... It's so on brand for your father. And me, actually. I mean, I would buy this if i was in switzerland and i saw this i would buy it um my dad's got so many things like this brilliant i mean i look i love it and
Starting point is 00:13:33 you know what i'm saying this now and again while we're talking about series nine i'm trying not to say too much i think this was undiscordant it's it's a weird wooden head with human hair and teeth. Come on. No, it is really good. And again, I'm trying not to let my own experience colour my perceptions about how I talk about these things when we do these podcasts. But I was impressed by every... I mean, to be honest with you, whenever I watch the show, I'm always like, wow!
Starting point is 00:14:01 That's good. Oh, God, that's much better than what I would have done. Oh, my God. Yeah, i i would just brought in a twig i found in the street or something but like it's basically yeah again but deal and i are not dissimilar taskmaster competitors um but um but i i i think it's really good but i do think and this is an awful phrase to have to use and i I often, and I always say it whenever I'm using it, in light of things like the penis. Yeah, I know, I have written down next to it,
Starting point is 00:14:33 I think it was underscored, but certainly Katie's deserves more than mine, I think. I think it's like that thing where, like, they have to, some years when everyone does well in an exam, they have to change the thresholds. this is a particularly strong i think out of context if someone showed that to you you'd assume it would win but in context of what everyone else brought i think i do sort of think three three points was fair enough four points maybe um it yeah katie's phallic wooden carving i mean the fact they don't really talk um greg doesn't even talk really about how um it has legs they that it's sat cross-legged
Starting point is 00:15:13 and the backstory adding the backstory to it makes it weirder so that it was her it was her friend's dad and he also offered to buy her a motorbike and he had loads of them in his garage. Yeah, yeah. All of it sounds like the opening talking head in a Netflix documentary. Like, it doesn't sound good. Nothing about it sounds good. He gave me a wooden penis and he offered to show me his motorbike collection.
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's not good. None of it's good. The penis carver. That's what it would be called. The penis carver. Really, really odd thing. And yeah, very, very strong from Katie, I think. Do you think that Greg marked you down
Starting point is 00:15:53 because he, quotes, didn't like your tone? Do you think that was part of it? No, I think he could have done. I think the tone only came up after he'd given me the three points. Right. Because I think he understood my argument and then didn't like my tone he'd given me the three points. Because I think he understood my argument and then didn't like my tone, so kept it at three points. But I was so angry, Nish.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Surely you must have feared that Greg would quite quickly default to bullying you, given your long-standing relationship with him. And on occasions, I think certainly in our series you actually assisting mark watson stealing his belongings yes were you worried that there would be repercussions you've got to remember that greg's uh memory is terrible so i i don't think he i don't think he remembered that happening um but there was one repercussion that i don't think is actually on the show but is available on the outtakes which is my favorite moment which you know is my favorite moment of
Starting point is 00:16:50 this entire series yeah and we will let's discuss it now we will discuss it when we get to the the actual episode it's where i mean when the clip went around actually on the internet this week uh where i'd stolen things from greg's house while he was in the hot tub it was me greg mike wozniak in Greg's hot tub. Wow. First of all, even the fact that you've mentioned that, based on what I know about the fandom of Taskmaster, is going to inspire some pretty disgusting fan fiction.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yes, absolutely. You're welcome. You're welcome, pervs. And I thought this is my opportunity to steal some stuff. And I went through loads of options. I was going to steal all his forks. I was going to steal some pictures and then try and recreate the pictures and put them back up so he didn't notice, but it's too much work.
Starting point is 00:17:36 So I just nicked a load of stuff and went. Greg then noticed. He obviously knew that the show was coming up. And I accidentally left my swimming trunks there, and he was wearing them under his trousers and then revealed obviously knew that the show was coming up and I accidentally left my swimming trunks there and he was wearing them under his trousers and then revealed them later in the show but yeah that is not in the edit, it's available as an extra on YouTube
Starting point is 00:17:53 I think it was just too complicated to explain but it is fantastic It is absolutely it's absolutely fantastic and also it's the commitment to it that he sat there in that chair. And again, this is not to disparage anyone. All bodies are beautiful. But he sat there wearing swimming trunks about 16 sizes too small for him.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Yeah, far too small for him. Swimming trunks that fit you aren't comfortable. Yeah. And, you know, they were my favourite trunks and I left them in the studio. And they would never come home with me. I was surprised you didn't burn them and it'd be like that bit
Starting point is 00:18:32 when they open the ghost vault in Ghostbusters. Well, they have netting in them as well, so you must have just been pushed through it. I always think of that picture that Joe Lycett posted once on Instagram of him topless in a string hammock. That must have been what it was like in Greg's trousers. Let's talk about roses, because this is another classic Mattifeo prize task
Starting point is 00:18:56 where she immediately loses confidence in it. Yeah. She's just gutted even before she said what it is. I mean, it's a lovely little carving i don't think it's particularly weird i think it's quite weird i do think it's quite i think again you in context of a wooden penis yeah and you know i i i think and the sort of trump grabber well whatever joe calls the her prize does the trump sausage grabber i i think it i think in context it doesn't seem weird i think it's quite good but again this might be another
Starting point is 00:19:32 example of why i scored so poorly on the show because i watched it i was like fantastic work as she was explaining it she was like i don't i don't think this is very good i was like no no i mean neither no yeah you're right no great we all know we don't think this is very good. I was like, no, me neither. No, yeah, you're right. No, great. We all know it's not very good. I think it might be in context again because it is a similar thing to the thing I brought in, but mine's got human hair and human teeth. So alongside...
Starting point is 00:19:59 The presence of human hair and human teeth outside of a person who is alive with skin covering their skull. Any time decontextualised hair and teeth appear, it's always disgusting. Yeah, always disgusting. It's the uncanny, isn't it, Nish? That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:20:17 That's what I thought. I should have said that, really. But yes, not a great selling from Rose and not necessarily a brilliant prize, unless you're Nish. You can't have thought Jo's was good. Jo's was rubbish. No, but I'm also a huge fan of bringing people to Jo
Starting point is 00:20:41 just clearly on her way to the studio, just going through some boxes in her study. Some old boxes of things her daughter made. Just some stuff her daughter made. Yeah. A grabbing claw, that'll do. Is it weird, Joe? No.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I'm also a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of people being, like not bringing in things their kids have made as a point of pride, but just to be like, look at this weird thing my child did. And trying to get rid of it as well. Just as a way of clearing the house. Joe's one of the few people that treated Taskmaster
Starting point is 00:21:17 as an ongoing 10-week skip. Yeah, a lovely old spring clean for the brand household. Really bad stuff from joe and she knew she knew she's too smart david gets the five points i don't i it is weird it's like but it's something his brother found in the garden then varnished, clearly. Yeah, right, right, right. But it's not weird because it's just a bit of naturally occurring wood, right? If you think about it, it's not... It doesn't make me feel weird when I look at it.
Starting point is 00:21:53 I don't think it's a weird thing. Not like the penis makes me feel weird. No, exactly. Not like the penis with legs makes me feel weird. Yeah. If he'd carved it... If his brother had carved it into like a vagina shape or something sure five points where is the human hair and human teeth david yeah exactly it's a bit
Starting point is 00:22:13 it's i guess it's a bit blair witchy yeah it's eerie but at the end of the day it is still like i live near a park and i'm pretty sure i can find some wood that looks like that in about 10 minutes like i i i i do think i think but i think the act of the fact that it's being varnished there's something weird about the wider treatment of it yeah i can see i can see that i do think is that i do think it's strange yes I think at this point, even though we're only three episodes in, Greg is just grabbing at any opportunity to reward David for something good. Yeah. A philosophy he did not take with me.
Starting point is 00:22:56 May I say. But you never did anything good. It was impossible for him to even find one thing as a positive. I gave him no straws to clutch. He was desperate. He really stuck to your persona. Greg was desperate to clutch a straw. Do you know the amazing thing is that after I did the show,
Starting point is 00:23:23 like after I did the tasks, I I thought I don't think I've done badly like I genuinely think and I think part of the problem is that the chronology of filming the last day of filming the last task I did on the show was the song yeah I think we sort of felt at the time went well. Obviously, I knew the Sudoku, which got me taken off set to be sold off, was bad. Very bad. What about kicking the water cooler? No, I thought the water cooler was good.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Yes. Well, then you're mad. Obviously, if you've spent 45 minutes trying to chip a basketball into a net, you know that. Well, that's not gone well. But I thought, you know, that's two out of hundreds.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Yeah. That's so funny that you thought it was good. That it went well. I thought the water cooler task went well. I stand by that. Maybe I don't fully stand by the execution. I would have preferred to not slip on the way. Yeah. But I still stand by that.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Yeah. I mean, stand by that. Yeah. I mean, unbelievable. I don't, I have no words when I hear that you stand by that. You're like a terrible apprentice candidate. I stand by that.
Starting point is 00:24:35 You lost £15,000. I stand by it. I stand by it. I stand by it. I stand by it. Decisions were made. It was five points for David Baddiel.
Starting point is 00:24:43 It was four points for Katie Wicks. It was three points for me, two points, it was four points for Katie Wicks, it was three points for me, two points for Rose and one point for Joe Brand. Katie, you're up against some stiff competition here. Can we see it first and then maybe I'll explain how I... You sure you're ready?
Starting point is 00:24:56 Found it, yeah, I'm ready. Good luck everyone, here we go. Yeah. So my friend's dad imports them and... Oh, I really... Let's stop now. I'm really glad that's where that sentence went. LAUGHTER He's always... When I'm round her house, he's always, like, showing them to me and...
Starting point is 00:25:18 Oh. Is he? But he did gift it to me, so that was nice. Was RRP on this? I mean, I didn't ask money. I just wanted to get out of there, if I'm honest. Really. He actually offered to buy me a motorbike once. It's quite a weird relationship.
Starting point is 00:25:33 He gave you that? Yes. He paused and he went, can I buy you a motorbike? No. Task one, part one, go to the caravan. You must enter the caravan in two minutes of Alex entering the caravan.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Part two, list all the things that are hanging from the wooden board in the lab. Also say the colour of the wooden board in the lab. Also say what Alex said to you in the lab. Most correct answers wins. You have three minutes. You may not leave the caravan. Your time starts now. I mean, this basically sums up mine and Rose's vibe, I think.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Oh, I absolutely love the fact that Greg, because Greg picks up mine and Rose's vibe, I think. Oh, I absolutely love the fact that Greg, because Greg picks up on it. Yes. He interrogates the way the two, but the only thing that I would quibble with is he ascribes it to your youth. He says, oh, it's so nice to see the younger competitors reading a task and then running out of the room full of energy.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Whereas you two will be doing this until you're 80. If for some weird reason they do a Taskmaster reunion special in 60 years... They absolutely should, by the way. That's a brilliant idea. Just Greg's a brain in a jar. That'd be brilliant. They still have the jar up weirdly high. Yeah, yeah. brain in a jar. Brilliant. It's still have the jar up weirdly high. Yeah. Simulate the experience of being undermined by a man who is like a clean foot taller than most of us.
Starting point is 00:27:00 That's what I'm loving. Well same casts. Yeah. If people have died, nearest kin. Nearest kin or just brains in jars. I mean, it'd just be loads of brains in jars. I don't want to speak too soon because I don't know how far the brain in jar technology is progressing. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Yeah, fair enough. I don't know how far we are to full Futurama. Sorry, yeah, that's how I... All my knowledge far we are to full Futurama. Sorry, yeah, that's how all my knowledge of science is based on Futurama. Apologies. Yeah, so it will either be Braided Jars or Dr. Zoidberg competing. But yeah, like when I went to see the Wu-Tang Clan and old Dirty Bastard has sadly passed on and he was replaced by his son, Young Dirty Bastard.
Starting point is 00:27:51 That's what they called him. They said, hey, here he is, Young Dirty Bastard. Young Dirty Bastard. And Young Dirty Bastard's going like, can we change any other elements of the name? Young Clean Gentleman, maybe? Young Clean Gentleman. Young clean gentleman, maybe? Young clean gentleman. So essentially, all of these things were hung from the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:28:11 I obviously stopped and thought, go on. Well, the other thing I want to say is when you pull the gun, when you play with the gun, that's the... And I think, I'm pretty sure you've said this a few times when we were talking about my series but you pulling the gun is the most purest evocation of your personality you know where someone is just their most like truest self just like a toddler breaking everything really pulling the entire thing down well i should have done that's what i should have done i should
Starting point is 00:28:41 have pulled the whole thing down and taken it with me. I don't know why I didn't think, why is all that stuff hung from there? Well, me and Rose both had the thing where we were like, well, that's weird that all that stuff's hung there. I guess the task is just get to the caravan within two minutes. Just mad. Neither of you, it takes a second
Starting point is 00:29:01 to consider the circumstances. And I only remembered the pistol because that's what I tried to pull down. I should have just pulled the whole thing off the ceiling, probably bringing the ceiling with it and just dragged it over to the caravan. So in your head, you thought this is a running task. This is like sports time.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Yes, I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. Just get there as quickly as possible. This is irrelevant set decoration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. Just get there as quickly as possible. This is just, this is irrelevant set decoration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's a sprinting task. Yeah, just got to get there. And all the things on the ceiling have absolutely nothing to do with it.
Starting point is 00:29:35 If there's one thing, and the funny thing is, I know you've watched every episode of this, and you're like, if there's one thing I know about this show, is that often the tasks have less than meets the eye. know about the show is that often the tasks have less than meets the eye. Often it's just go somewhere and there's some irrelevant details.
Starting point is 00:29:51 But to be fair, I mean, Jo doesn't spot that. Jo just walks out and thinks it has to be the closest to two minutes possible. So it just wanders around outside the caravan for a bit and does it 157
Starting point is 00:30:05 but that is the task she has invented in her head and then obviously has absolutely no idea what was hanging up in the caravan and gets nothing right Dave
Starting point is 00:30:15 I can't believe that David actually worked out that he'd have to memorise things yeah yeah yeah right yeah I mean it doesn't do a great job
Starting point is 00:30:23 sure no but again as we've said grasp the straws you can grasp yeah um katie's the only one who really nails it i mean yeah realizes that she's got to memorize things and only miss two things like i think this is sometimes being calm in taskmaster is is bonus, is a definite benefit. And this is definitely one of those where she just takes a second, looks at it, works out what's going on, walks to the caravan,
Starting point is 00:30:52 realises that two minutes is two minutes and not four seconds, which is clearly what me and Rose thought. Or in Joe Brown's case, 15 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Just so very, very impressive from Katie that she got all of minutes. Yeah, yeah. Just so very, very impressive from Katie that she got all of those. Yeah, yeah. There's a great moment when Rose has
Starting point is 00:31:11 a panic and regresses, like goes into the fetal position. Tightwad four-year-old. She just turns into four-year-old Rose. She's clearly just had a full panic attack and it's forced her to regress back into her childhood state. So funny.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Also there's something very funny about someone in a suit having a breakdown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah she's all dressed up in her nice suit. She's dressed in a formal suit
Starting point is 00:31:42 in her nice cool suit and then she's just lying on the side. Just run into the caravan without looking at any of the stuff on the ceiling. Oh, God. And we both realised as soon as we sat down as well what we've done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:58 In fact, I think you basically say why did I think the task would not involve looking at the stuff that's hanging from the ceiling? Total moron. Total moron. I should have pulled the things off the ceiling is what I should have done. I wasn't destructive enough.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I should have taken them all with me. Total idiot. And then they were written down on the back of the task anyway, which is really annoying because then Alex says, I'll always turn over the exam. There might be another question there. Yeah, but very rarely are the answers on the back of the exam.
Starting point is 00:32:33 That would be incredible. Yeah. But that's not a... If that happens on an exam, that's not a deliberate strategy to test your powers of reasoning. That is a printing mistake. Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly and no one saw it so it wasn't a good trick alex i when they do that it's like one of those things where
Starting point is 00:32:52 you're like like i always think about um the task of my series where we had to paint in the dark yeah but the only the light switch was on the wall yeah and when that happens you're like oh you know what i hate this game but that one so mark did that right mark uh oh yeah that's in taskmaster history yeah because he turned on the lights and still made a mess yeah yeah yeah um but obviously all the paints were like you could smell the paint um to work out what they were i think yeah that's right, yeah. So I think Mark actually discovered that loophole. I don't think that's something they thought of.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Right, right, right, right, right. It was very clever, but then also extremely stupid immediately afterwards. Yeah, this is a classic Taskmaster. The task isn't what it seems, and there's always more information than you think yeah yeah always yeah gutting absolutely gutting when you you've gone too far and you can't go back and rectify your mistakes but very good katie weeks she does go but it's like she is about to leave and she's like i i need to look at this yes like yeah i mean when she doesn't go to the caravan
Starting point is 00:34:03 yeah she has that moment and you and goes through that first sheet of plastic and that terrifying murder den and then realises Baddiel's saying I'll memorise these just in case obviously it's very smart but it just brings up the hilarious factor that David Baddiel on the off chance
Starting point is 00:34:20 tries to remember everything in every room but then he starts naming things in the caravan anyway on the off chance, tries to remember everything in every room. But then he starts naming things in the caravan anyway. As if that would help. It's just a pineapple skull. Amazing. It was five points for Katie.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Very well deserved. Four points for David. Three points for me. I still managed to get four things right, which is pretty good for someone who immediately ran out of the room. Rose gets two points. Again, pretty good for someone who had a nervous breakdown.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Yeah, and Jo never came close to a nervous breakdown. If anything, just repaired some of her nerves during this task and just strolled around. I think I haven't got an effing clue. That, for me, is like an alter... You know when you get phrases that people use on the show that become just very emblematic of their entire time on it?
Starting point is 00:35:13 And Joe Brad's like, I haven't got an effing clue. It's like, that's... Yeah. That sums it up. That's... A nerdy fuckwit, she says in this episode as well, which I absolutely love. There's a great moment as well
Starting point is 00:35:26 where Alex is in the caravan and he's clearly waiting for Joe to come into the caravan and has to turn around and look out the window and she's just stood there waving at him like really big waves like she's greeting a ship that's miles offshore just doing a completely different task
Starting point is 00:35:44 when they reveal that the things are on the back, your and Rose's reaction is exactly the thing that concerned me and your wife. Yes. Well, because no one else seems to give a shit. You guys, it's so visceral. And they have such a good
Starting point is 00:35:59 shot of Rose freaking out. And then when they go to the wide shot and you your head is in your hand. It's perfect. I don't know why no one else is upset by that. David clearly doesn't know what it means. Joe doesn't care. And Katie's done well anyway.
Starting point is 00:36:19 Hello? Hello, it's me. Hello, how are you? My fly's got caught on tape. I know what I've done. Wah! Do you want to open the task, right? No.
Starting point is 00:36:35 List all the things that were hanging from the wooden board in the lab. Also say the colour of the wooden board in the lab. Oh, fucking hell. Also say the colour of the wooden board in the lab. Also say what Alex said to you in the lab. Most correct answers wins. What an idiot. Why am I such an idiot?
Starting point is 00:36:52 Oh, my God. Most correct answer wins. You have three minutes. You may not leave the caravan. Also, your time starts now. Also, it's unnecessary there. Disinformation makes it harder to find information you can trust, especially on social media. And it could lead you to make choices that aren't good for you.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Learn how to spot it at Canada.ca slash disinformation. A message from the Government of Canada. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. tomorrow join us at yorku.ca write the future task two part one another failure for me here build the most robust statue the most delicate thing using the materials provided and place it on the red cross your delicate thing must be recognizable on the red cross an hour after you finish and should leave you feeling enormously proud of your creation you have 15 minutes your. Your time starts now. And then let's quickly retask to part two. Score a goal with this football, driving a steamroller. Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Now this, this was a very interesting task. Let's talk about the statues first. I mean, go on. What do you want to talk about first? I mean go on, what do you want to talk about first? I mean some of them are so deeply, deeply upsetting
Starting point is 00:38:34 I mean also like I love the, I mean obviously like it's not a secret to say that the people who make Taskmaster know how to shoot television. And I think I think like part of the success of the show is in the way that the tasks are shot. But the way the shots of you all, the focus on your faces. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:02 And the way that you're like going about task. You know, people are banging nails and doing things with clay. And they're the shittest things I've ever seen. The level of focus that you are all bringing to this task. I think mine's pretty good, man. I think mine's pretty good. man. I think mine's pretty good. In terms of recognisability...
Starting point is 00:39:28 David Baddiel's one is like... I don't know what's happened there. It looks like his fucking stick. Yeah. I mean, that was of Avril Cowan. It's to represent his fragile ego, and it was Avril Cowan, a girl who wouldn't go out with him at youth camp.
Starting point is 00:39:45 Again, full name. And again, based on what... But there was no reason for full name. No, not at all. The surname should never have come into play. Definitely not. Equally, given everything we know about David inside the show and outside of the show, definitely her real name.
Starting point is 00:40:05 100%. I'd imagine the lawyers would have had to have done a bit of work after that recording. Getting in contact with Avril. I would pay for the recording of that phone call. Hello, Avril Cowan. This is the TV show
Starting point is 00:40:20 Taskmaster. Do you remember David Baddiel? Obviously, David's was rubbish. Joe's was okay. I think my baby was probably one of the best ones there. In terms of recognisability, which is mentioned in the task, which I think should have
Starting point is 00:40:36 been part of the score, I think my baby was pretty good. Yes, I shouldn't have given the baby nipples or mentioned giving the baby nipples. Why did the baby have nipples? Babies have nipples, mate mate welcome to the real world roses though roses was so bad she and she hammered it into the table i'll say this big surprise for me on this one because rose uh is actually quite a crafty person. Yes. Both in terms of you can't really trust her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Both in terms of she loves to trick people. Yeah. But, no, she does, like, she is very resourceful with stuff like this. And she's, like, she's made loads of, like, cool stuff and she knits and... Yeah, she's crocheted for a prize task earlier in the series, yeah. I am genuinely...
Starting point is 00:41:28 I am surprised at how bad this was. Never, never underestimate the potential of the Matafayo panic, though. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very bad, but she... And I think Katie's was good. Let's talk about Katie's. I think she's very good at the art tasks. Yeah, Katie's is genuinely good. I think what she's trying to... She's was good let's talk about katie's i think she's very good at the art tasks yeah it does look like what she's trying to she's trying to pull off um i'll say it and this won't be controversial i think joe's is quite good i think i think joe's i think joe's is quite good
Starting point is 00:41:57 it's it's funny what is funny if not to provoke a reaction? Yeah, that's true. Well, Rose has provoked a reaction of what the fuck were you thinking? But I think the main thing Greg ended up scoring here was the robustness rather than the quality of the statue itself, which is a shame because I got two points because obviously there was very little robustness and it was not on the it was not on the x after the hour um so me and dave got two points uh but yeah you know rose is very robust four points but then katie's got a load of stuff taken
Starting point is 00:42:39 off the side of it when she was scoring the goal and it's still got five points so it's very difficult to work out what greg was actually scoring here yeah right i think that um yeah i think that i think that he could have potentially separated out the marking because we were going to get we're about to get a pretty object lesson in how robust these things exactly exactly and you know we did we separated out a bit whether he was scoring that on that first score the robustness or the quality of the statue wasn't wasn't that clear um because obviously then the second score was about time uh time to score the goal so you know we all scored the goal um i guess there would have been an option to not score the goal to simply not score
Starting point is 00:43:22 the goal and then hope do you mean what just mean? What, just and hope that that... And hope that your sculpture was so good that it wouldn't... Right, right, right. So the sculpture would have been there and robust. So if you didn't score the goal, then you could have got five points in that and nought points in that. But, you know, who knows?
Starting point is 00:43:38 Who knows? I also, to be clear, there would have been an option for me to not score the goal. Yes. This is like, this is one of my favourite tasks of this series. Yeah. And I think a lot of the time when people enjoy tasks is because they feel they have some way of solving it. I am, I love this task because I, you know, it reminds me of Austin Powers.
Starting point is 00:44:00 One of my all-time favourite jokes. The slow roller going over the guy. No. And he's just like, move, just get out of the way, just move. So that makes me laugh a lot. But also, I was just trying to imagine truly how bad I would
Starting point is 00:44:14 have been at this. Yes. Really bad. I mean, you would have taken a sharp left and mowed down all that foliage, I'd imagine. I'm thrilled that this task wasn't in mine because that would have been the end of Taskmaster after I steamrolled Alex Horn.
Starting point is 00:44:30 So what was amazing about this, and I don't think it quite comes across in the edit, it would have been tricky to do, I think, is it wasn't that closely grouped together. So we made our thing, we put it there. I think we went off, did another task, then after lunch, came back right right came back and we were taken another way around this place and i'm very bad at knowing where i
Starting point is 00:44:54 am or sort of a sense of space um we were put on the steamroller and told to score this goal and our statues were quite far away i think i only realised what they'd done until I got to the statue, essentially. So I think my mind was blown that they'd done that. And it's just the sheer inevitability of when I arrive at the statue and the ball is where it is that I know that I'm going to have to run that baby over. And let me tell you something, Nish. I loved running that fucking baby over.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Yeah, of course you did. That was brilliant. It's a nightmarish image of a baby with incredibly pronounced nipples. Of course you liked it. Of course you enjoyed doing it. I think there's something cathartic for all of you about
Starting point is 00:45:36 this task, like running over your own fragility. This is a living version of ego death. Yes. I mean, that's the whole show, really, isn't it? Yeah. The whole point of Taskmaster was the first example of true ego death. So speed is obviously a thing here, as well as trying to avoid the statue.
Starting point is 00:46:04 I mean, Rose does a brilliant job across the two tasks. She builds something very robust, and then manages to score the goal quickly in 4 minutes 45 seconds and gets five points for that. Jo, also very quick, eight minutes, gets four points. I get three points. Jo had no hesitation. No, of course.
Starting point is 00:46:27 No hesitation. Of course not hesitation she loved doing that yeah katie took her time and got two points and david uh at a rate of what alex says is five miles per day scores the goal and crushes uh crushes it's it's it's one of the it's one of my favorite ever tasks and it's one of my favorite uh title tracks on a taskmaster episode yeah because it i it obviously when horn does the stat breakdowns it always yields some of the some of the greatest moments of the series but five miles a day is so funny it's so funny and of course it's david and this is the this is the episode after him and joe did the task where they had to go around the house solving lots of different tasks and they stopped for cups of tea and stuff and made sandwiches and put butter in the microwave in fact the two episodes in a row called so it was butter in
Starting point is 00:47:23 the microwave was the last episode this is five miles a day they are two episode titles based on how slow David Baddiel is so funny also in consecutive episodes a huge part
Starting point is 00:47:35 of one of the tasks is Joe Brown just wandering around yeah just strolling around just strolling around the house so the joint scores
Starting point is 00:47:43 for both parts of that task rose on nine points, which is incredible. Katie and Joe both on seven points. It's incredible given how shit hurts. Yeah, exactly. So this should have been marked for artistic. Shut up, Ed.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Five points for me. And, of course, three points for David. Is that a fair representation of you, Joe? Do you like poetry? Yeah. Do you want to? Do you like poetry? Yeah. Do you want to bang one out for us? Do I want to bang out a poem for you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:14 I'll have a go. Here we go. I'm going to miss out some of the words because I can't remember them. That's OK. And that's all of them. Task three. Oh, God. Break something into the most parts and completely fix it.
Starting point is 00:48:30 You have five minutes to select your item, three minutes to break it and seven minutes to fix it. Your selection time starts now. This task is hard, Nesh. It is very hard to think of something that you could do that's impressive, funny, and that you could actually put back together. But you were quite a destructive contestant, I think.
Starting point is 00:48:51 But I don't put things back together very easily. Yes, so this is like half a great task for you, given that you almost nearly pulled an entire task down about 10 minutes ago in the episode. Yeah, yeah. I really should have dealt with that. But it's difficult to think of something to do. So this sort of reminded me of
Starting point is 00:49:13 I think it was in Champion of Champions the first Champion of Champions, make the biggest mess and then clear it up. Yeah, right, right, right. And what I should have done is gone Mortimer style. So what Bob did was cause a huge mess and then just refuse to clear it up yeah right right right and what i should have done is gone mortimer style so what bob did was cause a huge mess and then just refused to clear it up and just didn't do that bit he had his own fun he had his own fun yeah he branded what i say in this task uh has anyone
Starting point is 00:49:38 got a car here and alex has his car there and i say do i mind if I say, do you mind if I have a go on your engine? I wish I'd done that and just left it. What, just destroyed Alex's car engine? Yes. Yes. I really wish I'd done that. I mean, the thing that I would say is, Alex, in the moment, will do anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Like, as in, if he thinks it would make the task be good, he will do anything yeah like as if he thinks it would make it will make the task be good yeah he will do anything and people have done i mean like rod's whole series like rod's whole approach in the series is to try and like do the worst things possible to alex so clearly he doesn't have a problem so i mean i'm sort of intrigued at the prospect of you smashing up his car engine. But also I think to break up a car engine, you probably need to have some basic knowledge of how one goes together anyway. You know what? You're getting a lot of your information from the bonus rounds from Street Fighter 2.
Starting point is 00:50:37 Yeah, I would have jumped on it. You're getting a huge amount of information on how easy it is to destroy a car from Ryu and Ken. Yeah. I would have just jumped up and down on it like blanker just kept shouting sonic boom as you barely damaged the out of the outer area of the car yeah because in my mind i think i would have got into the engine taken some nuts and bolts out uh and like taken what are they, tubes? Done that and then put it back together or just left it Mortimer style. But no, what I would have done, I would have smashed the window, wouldn't I? I think that might be one of the ones. And I don't know how often it's happened.
Starting point is 00:51:17 I don't know if it has happened. You would probably know this. That might be a task where they would have had to say, you legally are not allowed to do that. Yeah. Like that violates all of our health and safety maybe you you with a car engine filled with petrol does not seem and just sort of like i mean the very fact that you've used the word tubes concerns me yeah tubes wires and it concerns me and i couldn't i just used the outer layer of the car that was the expression that i just chose to use all right so i went with grapes and then i got chocolate as well it was a disaster from the beginning because i didn't make my mind up and
Starting point is 00:51:54 then i started trying to glue the grapes back on and there's a certain point that you've just got to lean into how badly it's going and then when it turns out yes that's what i always say but when i say everyone's like you should have done it better I don't mean all the episodes and I've been injecting grapes with nothing is probably one of my favourite quotes from me this series
Starting point is 00:52:15 really funny just a full mental collapse I mean I just ended up with a pile of grapes covered in super glue then I put some chocolate on it as well just a total, total mess. Everyone else had a bit more, I mean, I was going to say a bit more logic. David's didn't.
Starting point is 00:52:33 I don't know why David got two points. I should have got two points here because David doesn't split it up into any parts. No, David looks like the chimps at the beginning of 2001. That's exactly what he looks like when they have the bone and he's just smashing. He's just smashing the bones with a bone.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Well, no, because it would look like if the apes were missing every single time. No, he does hit it a couple of times. A couple of times, but I'd say like 20% of the time he hits it. The rest of the time he's just hitting the ground next to it. But he doesn't break it into any parts.
Starting point is 00:53:09 He sets it on fire because he thought it would melt it down. So he doesn't set it on fire. No, for like a second. Just madness that he got two points for this, I think, because no parts come off it that he sticks back on. He hits one thing that's in one part, it remains in in one part and then he sticks some tinfoil onto it and then he puts it on and then he puts it on a plinth and then he puts it on a plinth i just i liked the energy behind it and i like the idea that he chose the broadcast award i think that's proper proper chaos that he did yeah but in terms of the
Starting point is 00:53:43 actual task even mine was better than that. The end product of his task, it doesn't look right. No. The end product of his task, it looks like it's some real, like, deleted scenes from our attack stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Oh, terrible stuff. I mean, everyone else at least makes an effort to... I mean, Katie's look katie's is horrible katie really makes me feel odd when i look at it um that she basically mushes she puts takes on 200 and something bits of bread and then mushes it all up into she's laughing when she's doing it she knows how gross it looks i was thinking is there a way of doing that can you sort of you could probably compact it all back down without using water and then like fry it like fried bread and that might actually gather it back together that might gather it back to yeah yeah i still
Starting point is 00:54:36 would say i don't think aesthetically you're going to be left with anything less disgusting than that no i think even if you... I think... I think... Bread, I think, looks surprisingly disgusting. Yeah. As soon as it's decontextualised from its natural state.
Starting point is 00:54:53 As soon as anything is done to bread, it looks absolutely revolting. Especially what she did to it. I mean, that was... Yeah. But the fact... This shows how badly
Starting point is 00:55:00 me and David did that that was three points. There was a crust in the middle of it it didn't look fixed to me it doesn't look fixed at all Rose this is very Rose this one she really she's thought this through yeah she's she's dividing up the time and how long it takes her to tie a knot yeah yeah this is like um this is the opposite of her curling up in a ball yeah this is like this is classic matt feo yeah operating at her sort of highest level because she she has a plan for the whole she has a plan for the whole task i think yeah this isn't
Starting point is 00:55:40 like a split in two part the task was break something and fix it. Yeah. And so the whole time she's got a view on what it's going to be like to fix it. Yes, it was very good. It's hard to characterise any of the other efforts. I mean, especially not when you're watching slow motion footage of David Baddiel
Starting point is 00:55:58 smashing some ground with a hammer. He broke the ground more than he did the award. He should have just put the gravel back. It probably would have been better. But yeah, it's good stuff from Rose, and obviously imagining she was a princess in a castle being made to do that.
Starting point is 00:56:18 I mean, Greg calls it boring, but you know what? You've got to be boring in this task. To do it well, it's got to be boring. Yeah, I don't think it's that boring. I boring i mean you know she's imagined the whole backstory for why she's doing the thing i think it was a smart way of doing it yeah exactly exactly she's a performer and it was it was a smart way of doing it and it did look like string again at the end it was a logical way of approaching it and she didn't panic is the key um same with joe but joe never panics joe went with a big bar of chocolate,
Starting point is 00:56:45 organised it perfectly. If you want to see the opposite of that, what I do with the chocolate, which is just break it up into random shards that can never be put back together. That's because they left fucking vegan chocolate in my dressing room, even though I wasn't vegan then.
Starting point is 00:57:02 Why did they leave vegan? That was around a time where you had been vegan? I had been vegan but not for a few months so I think it filtered through to that I was vegan so and also there were a lot of vegan snacks looking around because Lou was filming at the same time. In many ways you're trying to, they did something nice for you and you spat it back in their face. Yeah because they did something nice for me which directly impacted my success in a task. I think the second you started gluing grapes you'd waved goodbye to any possibility of success
Starting point is 00:57:29 correct absolutely correct also i didn't want it to be boring you know i was like you're desperately trying to think of something that will stick in the memory as well and then once i realized it was going badly i was like right well the only way to stick this in the memory is if uh i go all in and just cover a pile of grapes and chocolate in superglue. But Jo's is good. It's ordered. She works out to snap it up into the constituent chunks. Again, and I mean, I don't want this to turn into a personal attack, but Jo realised that it was going to be quite easy
Starting point is 00:58:02 to disassemble and then reassemble something that is inherently a grid system yes yeah i didn't get something that has quite a clear pathway to disassembly and reassembly yes correct um it was very good from joe um And also she's very proud of herself for not eating it as well. Well, she's right to me. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry to say, if I'd have been involved in that task, the reassembly process would have been unbroadcastable.
Starting point is 00:58:38 All in the tum-tum, straight to the loo. All in the tum-tum, straight out the bum-bum. Okay, who wants to stick this on? Dave, at the top. Five points. This is when Joe calls herself a nerdy fuckwit
Starting point is 00:58:51 as well, which I love. Yeah, yeah. It was five points for Joe, four points for Rose, three points for Katie, two points for David and one point for me.
Starting point is 00:59:01 That's your three minutes. Right. All right. You have seven minutes to completely fix your slice of bread. Brilliant. Starting now. I don't know how I've managed that.
Starting point is 00:59:15 It's not sticking. Oh, prick off. The glue's not even been coming out. Have you snipped off the top? I've been injecting grapes with nothing. I'm the scissors of the kitchen. It feels kind of erotic.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Live task. This is one of my favourite live tasks, actually, and not just because I win. Wearing your blindfold correctly at all times. Fill a pint glass with water. If you make a big mess, you are disqualified. Closest to a pint of water wins. You have three minutes.
Starting point is 00:59:54 First thing David does is ask if he can piss in it. Yeah, immediately. Why is that your first instinct? Alex says he can, and he doesn't. There's nothing, technically there's nothing against the rules. As long as he, you know, all of that piss
Starting point is 01:00:11 was water at some point. Yeah. You know, I mean, I guess you need to guarantee that you need a pint of piss and that's very difficult to tell if you need exactly a pint and i don't know what david's
Starting point is 01:00:26 david's sort of uh consonants levels are like whether he could piss a pint and then stop himself doing any more than that is it worth five points i don't know i don't i don't think so but i loved this one so obviously we had test tubes all over our body of different things and we couldn't see what was in there. So basically the only way to do it was smell or taste. Yeah. And I was livid that I accidentally put a vinegar in there. But this is a very classic gamble task.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Like there's a clear logical way of doing it. Yes. And you just have to be prepared you're very good in the show when you don't have total meltdowns you're very good in the show of going there is a way to do this and what I just need to do is do
Starting point is 01:01:15 just get on with it because the problem is especially with the in studio tasks I mean I was bad and lacked composure when there was no one around but when there's like a sort of full studio and there's people sort of cheering there is a part of you that if something isn't immediately working and because you can sort of see everything that's going on around you
Starting point is 01:01:37 there is a part of you that is like oh I'm just gonna panic and and do whatever. Whereas you don't deviate from the system. You just get the system. You do it. David, he's got his glasses outside his balaclava. He's working on a different level. He's just in a whole different thing. Jo, classic, just dumps an egg in there straight away. Dumps an egg in there!
Starting point is 01:02:00 She's not testing. She's not testing anything. I also absolutely love the fact that when they line them all up at the end, you just immediately go, well... There's Jo's. Yeah, even if I just turn this on in the middle, I go, there's Jo's.
Starting point is 01:02:13 Yeah, there's Jo's. Just a whole egg. No one else. Two jars of cotton wool. How do you pick up a test tube of cotton wool and go, that's probably water? Rose as well. I would have thought rose would do better at this but maybe it was the matter panic that uh it was a matter of panic yeah it was a matter of panic it's yeah it's funny that this one is straight after the one
Starting point is 01:02:37 where you see like her at her smartest yeah most diligent and like having a plan for the whole task and then this in this in the studio but as i say in the studio it is really really difficult to yeah like the best studio task i think i did was there was one where i basically just copied what bob had done yeah quite often i mean it always feels like a cop out but i'm sure i did it a couple of times as well where you can see what everyone else is doing and you're like I'm just going to do that because then either I'm going to get good points because they're getting good
Starting point is 01:03:10 points or I'm dragging someone else down to my level. Yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah it was um but yeah it's I mean the jars the cotton wool is astonishing yeah well she just doesn't care so like just like dump it in straight away
Starting point is 01:03:26 and one point but she's done pretty she did pretty well earlier in the episode uh on a couple of things yeah but yeah i mean i was very happy to bag the five points there because i needed it in this episode um i got five points katie got four points david and rose both on three points and joe eggy eggy cotton wool joe on one point meaning that katie takes home the episode uh a first episode win for katie i think the first three episodes are rose me and then katie which sort of does lay out the way things happened in the series uh rose gets 20 points very consistent me and david on the same amount of points i forgot that happened that is a sad indictment of how
Starting point is 01:04:06 I did this episode. Is this your lowest points tally, do you think? No, because I think there were some other ones where everyone did very badly. I would absolutely love, and again, this is the right forum for me to be raising this in, somebody to compare your worst episode scores to my best episode scores.
Starting point is 01:04:23 I know somebody out there is going to be able to do it. It'll be Jack Bernhardt. That's basically his job now. I didn't want to say it, but Bernhardt, surely Bernhardt has already run the numbers on this thing and can tell, I'm sure he'll be able to tell us what your worst episode totals look like in relation to my best episode totals. Now, Nish, thank you very much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast.
Starting point is 01:05:04 We always love to have you on. We're going to ask you now, do you have any predictions, winners-wise or general success of the contestants for Series 15? It's Kyle Smith-Bino, it's Jenny Eclair, it's Frankie Boyle, it's Ivor Graham, it's May Martin. Right. it's Ivo Graham it's May Martin right well I think my main prediction is Ivo is going to get very flustered that's my main put like across the prediction for Taskmaster or just his day today oh we talk about Taskmaster oh
Starting point is 01:05:39 sorry hold on my main prediction is I've I was going to get very flustered. The real unknown, like, is Jenny Eclair, as the sort of veteran, going to go the Brand route or the Mortimer route? Interesting, yeah. Is she going to be... Kyle and May, I know both of them well, and they're both sort's a pretty capable people yeah and so i sort of can see kyle and may doing well ivo ivo is very sort of like physically capable and coordinated but as i say he crumbles under the merest hint of pressure
Starting point is 01:06:22 he crumbles under the merest hint of pressure. Like, there is simply... Like, I think people are about to get a real sense of Ivo Graham. Yeah, I think so. As a personality. I think the pressure... The person I have no idea how they're going to fare is Frankie. Yeah. I am utterly fascinated by...
Starting point is 01:06:43 You know, I know Frankie. He's an extremely well-read, erudite man. Yeah. utterly fascinated by the you know I know Frankie is a extremely well read erudite man yeah which normally means he's about to shit the bed for 10 weeks but yeah also I'm fascinated to see how how invested in it he is
Starting point is 01:07:00 I'm sure it'd be very funny I think that's a given and he'll do some very funny stuff but how invested will he be in the the competitive nature of it or the sort of silliness of it i saw i i would say that at this point in the show's cycle everyone that's doing it is doing it because either they like the show yeah or their kids like the show kids like the show yeah and so i think that i definitely don't think there'll be an issue about him not committing to it in a way that's funny and entertaining yes oh yeah for sure i i i definitely think like but yeah i i he's the one that i really would struggle to predict how he's going to take to it. Obviously what I'm hoping for is moments of spectacular destructive anger.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Yes. I'm hoping, I'm hoping for him to physically destroy a couple of things. But I don't see him as that. I don't see him as having physical destructive anger. You sort of, he gets all of that out of the system verbally, I think.
Starting point is 01:08:03 Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. But it'd be interesting to see how I his system verbally, I think. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. But it'd be interesting to see how. He truly, I think, is a complete wild card. I've no idea which way it's going to go. So do you have a winner prediction?
Starting point is 01:08:18 If I had to pick a winner, I would say I'd probably lean towards Kyle. I think Kyle has... Kyle's got a calmness that I think will serve him pretty well over the series. Interesting. Because when I tweeted a video that someone did of me getting my escalating anger
Starting point is 01:08:45 throughout Series 9. Kyle tweeted me with just the emoji of shaking hands. So that would suggest that he is not necessarily going to be calm on the series. But we will see. That is Nish's prediction lined up. Nish, we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Please, give me your score now. Every time, it's five out of five. Yeah, baby. I will happily take that on this, one of my poorest episodes. It's the opposite experience of a statue of a baby with pronounced nipples.
Starting point is 01:09:23 I cannot stress this enough. It's a one out of five experience it's one one out of five i see it sometimes in my nightmares i'm glad you ran it over thank you very much mish god bless us all thank you very much to nish for coming on the show welcome back anytime maybe on an episode that I did better at. We'll be back next week to talk about Series 9, Episode 4. And our guest will be the wonderful Hugh Dennis. We've, of course, talked to Hugh before about his series,
Starting point is 01:09:56 but very excited to get him on, hear his opinions on this series, and always a delight to talk to Hugh. So we will see you next week to talk about Series 9 Episode 4 with Hugh. Thanks again to Nish. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. We'll see you next time.

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