Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 139. Rose Matafeo - S9 Ep.10

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

We've made it gang! We have caught up with all the old Taskmaster episodes and to join Ed for Episode 10 of Series 9 is Rose Matafeo! Rose talks all things series 9 and she also gives some insights in to life as the Junior Taskmaster! We thank you all so much for listening along to all 139 episodes so far and we will be back to discuss Series 16 soon! Look out for any bonus pods coming your way and you can listen to Taskmaster The People's Podcast anywhere you get your podcasts! Remember to check out the Taskmaster Youtube channel and you can get all your merch here: taskmaster.tv Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble. Very exciting day.

We are finally catching up with all of the previous episodes of Taskmaster because we're talking about series 9 episode 10 of Taskmaster. Very exciting. We have a fantastic guest, the wonderful Rose Matafeo, who of course came second in series 9 of Taskmaster. Oh dear, so close. Very excited to talk to Rose. It's a great episode, actually. I loved watching this one back. I think everyone's fantastic in it. Look, let's just get into it. I'll thank you guys after because it feels like we've hit a milestone

and I'll do all that after, but let's just get into the chat. Series nine, episode 10 with the brilliant Rose Matafayo. Welcome back, Rose Matafo to the Taskmaster podcast. Hello Id, lovely to be back. Oh look it's an absolute joy to have you back, very excited. Look you join us on the Taskmaster podcast on a very exciting day because not only are we talking about series 9 episode 10, it's a great episode of the best lineup ever um it's also very exciting because this

episode also signifies the day that here on the taskmaster podcast we are fully caught up we have done all of the old episodes oh my gosh that's wild yes this is the 139th episode of taskmaster that i've talked about oh my gosh are you sick of it uh no because it's always different it's always different uh and all the episodes are fantastic well i kind of kind of felt weird about the fact that um obviously my good friend paul williams has appeared on this uh yes series and uh and i kind of freaked out because he was like i'm doing we're doing series nine i was like what people are gonna be people are talking about our series like because i have obviously i forgot what series i did with i did a newer one didn't i yeah i think so it was

a while ago as well it was a while ago and um but now i feel seen i feel i don't want to be perceived i don't want to be perceived by by other people on this podcast well look it's we're on episode 10 of series nine you've been perceived all over i mean i've been perceived perceived to the moon and back i am also they filmed they filmed our series rose and they put it on tv i and this is what shocked me it's taken when i saw this episode i mean hang on people saw this people saw this people saw this and you're also of course the junior taskmaster so as far as i'm aware that will also be filmed and perceived and probably perceived very closely I know it's quite nerve-wracking isn't it it's very strange what stage you at

with that now because you've you've done the pilot in inverted commas done the pilot but there will be more there will be more it sounds like they're getting some pretty great kids involved yeah i mean the kids that we had for the pilot um were amazing and yeah i mean i i don't know how much you know i can give away about it because like really it's just it's exactly what you imagine it's yeah it's taskmaster with kids which is kind of interesting because i feel like the regular adult taskmaster brings out the most sort of childish, like the most childlike, I guess, personality traits or sort of, you know, emotions, I think, of adult comedians. I think their truest inner child does come out in the worst possible way. Yeah. Awful. Just you saying that makes me feel really bad about my inner child.

I know. Oh, it's such a good way of seeing each person's inner child is to watch is to watch a comedian's series of taskmaster it really cuts to the core of them my little child is such a shit mine too well we both were we both we both we're both terrible and then just there's david baddiel making little tin can walkie talkies uh trying to evade the nazis so that's i don't know there's something to be unpacked there. But I think, but the children, they're so, they're so, they're already there in a child. So there's kind of a lack of, I guess, like embarrassment to it, which is so exciting. And I think, I don't know, it's just so authentic and like, really sweet, really hard not to try and crush their dreams if i can hit this kind of exact sort of uh meanness and hotness of the queen of uh that fake city that they go to in

chitty chitty bang bang when no children are allowed yeah so the queen there who's like super hot uh hates kids maybe that should be the vibe that I need to sort of tap into. But, uh, but to be honest there, I, I honestly think I speak to children on more of a level than I do adults. And,

uh, and it was really fun to do that. I think, uh, I think the most punishing thing though is, is seeing, I think will be ongoing is just seeing these kids sort of look at you with all of the hope in the world in their eyes when you're scoring them. And you have to score.

It's just, it's the worst. It's the absolute worst. Yeah, because you can't be doing like over generous scoring just because they're kids, right? You've got to score it properly. But honestly, some of these kids take the scoring so much better than any adult i've seen on taskmaster like they they i honestly some of them are just like yep it's fine it's all good and and and and it's quite um yeah it's quite depressing to think how much we how how bitter we become as we age well also they're because they're playing games on a regular basis.

This is true. Taskmaster sort of folds into a kid's life quite well in terms of gamifying everything. We don't get an opportunity to do that as an adult. We get too excited. We get too excited about it. And it means too much. But for the kids, it's just another day, another game. Exactly.

I think, yeah, I really do think that the actual winning of it doesn't actually really matter as much as being there for them, which is something that I think everyone should take away. No one has learned that on Taskmaster, the adult version, of course. But I mean, certainly not you or I. But you won, so you don't have to worry about that. I don't know. This was a pretty tricky episode for me to watch back. Me too. Now, we should talk about, briefly, before we get into the main body of the episode, the outfits. Of course.

I believe we were the first series. Okay, look, I want to just say, look, we were the first series. Okay? Just want to just say, look, we were the first series. Okay, just want to put it out there. To decide on a final outfit, to all wear the same thing. We've had people copying us. Yeah. It's nice. It's sweet.

It's pathetic, but it's sweet. The last series, they were all wearing those Beatles outfits. Exactly. And they didn't get them themselves. Production had to get that. It's clearly now a Beatles outfits. Exactly. And they didn't get them themselves. Production had to get that. It's clearly now a production decision. Exactly. It's been corporate now.

They've made it corporate, whereas we were the original organic matching outfit people. Exactly. And ever heard of being classy? Yeah. Ever heard of tuxedos? Hello. Also, ever heard of being only for Beatles?

Yeah. So, you know, it just, none of it worked. Also, ever heard of being only for Beatles? So, you know, it does not have it worked. Also, ever heard of wearing vans with a tuxedo and no socks? Because that's the look I went for. Yes, I did see the Bicurious Girls who went to my school ball, Ed Campbell. I really went, I keep my, I still got my tuxedo. I took it from production. Did you?

Yeah, yeah. They said that I could have it, so I've still got it. Yeah. And I think it's, yeah, I think it ended up being quite a classy look to end the series on. Yes, stunning. And also Greg and Alex had their fake tans on. And also Greg and Alex had their fake tans on. I mean, I don't know why.

I don't know why they saved that visual gag for the final episode of a grand final. And it just keeps coming up out of context on the internet. And I was like, why are they so tanned? There is a joke at the beginning, which I had forgotten about, saying that they'd had a lovely weekend on Greg's tanning bed. But that is it.

That's it. I think very much the idea to do it came first. And then they're like, we should probably mention something at the top. Well, yeah, it's paid off. It really has paid off. It's going to haunt them for years. The other thing I've forgotten about

is that me and Katie were one and two at the start of the episode. You were third behind Katie. But it never really it never really felt like that it always felt Katie was very relaxed about the whole thing yeah so even when she was second I never got that tension from her that oh this could be this could be it whereas all of that tension was was flying between me and you I think because I think that we knew we know that like there's so little in it towards the end like because we were all

three of us were really close so it could have been but katie is just a naturally relaxed yes chilled out person and also you know sadly like you know katie had missed out on two of the live records right and so i think we were we were kind of in it to a psychotic level some would say uh and also we've already got our own sort of, I guess, we've been in competitive scenarios before. We've chatted about this on the podcast. Yeah. Also, by the way,

Paul just told me about a really cool detective thing you can do in Paris where you literally meet a guy all dressed in black on the corner of a street in Paris and then you have to solve like a murder. So I think we should do that. We should do that, but we need to be very sure that we're meeting the right guy because a guy dressed in all black on the street corner in Paris. I saw this on 4chan.

It was fine. It's totally legit. It's just this guy who wants us to meet us in paris and then we're going to just transport some um soft toys i think over the border um we should definitely we should definitely do that 100 yeah it sounds good it's um because this is yeah i think that's that's it that's why we kind of approached every task like that i mean it's it's hard because when you watch it it almost feels like we're putting it on the saddest thing the sadder thing is that we're not no not at all like like this

it would be sad if we were oh we're so competitive oh we really kill oh god putting the true true pathetic thing about it is that i am being my authentic self on that show yes my favorite thing was your prize tasks because you always put a lot of effort into thinking about them and bringing the things to represent you the best but your confidence with them was on a knife edge at any given moment so any negative comment that gets given you end up with your head in your hands okay look if you're if he's if greg's starting at yelling at you with a long strand of spaghetti do you know how how long i had to enjoy everyone else going through their prize dust until it got to my strawberry laces lasso lasso whatever it tells a story if

you watch all of your prize tasks back to back it's the destruction of a woman's confidence in 10 episodes so we get to this where you go where Greg says what have you got Rose and you go it's probably less it's just I'm not gonna I can't Polish a turd I'm not gonna lie to him and and and I know so much of it is like this is the thing is that the price tasks were so i mean it all depends on greg's mood as well yeah and his sort of his level of whimsy and his level of whimsy was was truly truly low this series it really was because i i i look at you know so let's talk about this prize task which is the best thing that's very long and thin i look at so my big strand of spaghetti spaghetti, your strawberry laces lasso. And then we go back through the series.

Katie's small doll's house furniture shed things. And then your cryptex and things like that. Like he was so not on board with the whimsy. But then there's nothing else you can sell it with. So when you were like the cryptex And I was like, yeah, great. That's perfect. Rose is really excited about this. And he's like, I don't know.

I don't know what that is. Why would I find that in the middle of a field? Yeah. The hell? There's nothing you can back it up with then. No, because you're trying to convince a man to change his personality. You're trying to literally, in the space of, what, four minutes on stage in the studio, convince Greg to believe in joy and magic again yeah and that's definitely a four-year

process rather than a four-minute one it's not like you know i i can't amelie my way into his heart with a cryptic it's just too hard and neither could you with the the lasso made out of strawberry laces i don't think you even bothered trying to back this one up i really didn't bother i just took it on i was just like nah it's it's it's a no-go it'll be it'll be more embarrassing to try and defend this yeah then uh then just take it take it also i think honestly the fake tan intimidated me a little bit so uh yeah i mean i tried to back up the spaghetti you did but you made it did you actually make that no i knew it i knew it you little piece of shit i'd planned to

but i'm very busy you got one you got one point more than me for probably lying i didn't lie he knew i'd not made that there was a much longer discussion in the studio where he said definitely a member of productions made that did you make the lasso out of strawberry no no i didn't but i didn't claim to either that's true yeah i panicked and lied i was planning to but it's tricky past as tricky as it is you know i honestly when i saw that when i was watching it again i mean he did not make that because I because I could see it in your eyes and also like I'm like that's not something Ed is going to be doing no no I think you know I would I would try now if I had the time that's true do you think that do you think do you think I'd pull it back if and I've seen your kitchen I've seen your kitchen

that's that that your kitchen is big enough to fit that strand of spaghetti. Now it is. I wasn't living there when we filmed this series. It was a much smaller kitchen. Now I do have a kitchen that I would describe as long. It's a very long kitchen. Mamma mia. We got spaghetti coming out of our ears in Ed's new kitchen. My God. But it was two points.

And I feel like I felt bad about getting one more point than you in this because they felt like similar prizes. It felt like both of us should have got two or one. Yeah. Yeah. But to be honest, I look back on the entire series and think I could have tried so much harder with all of my prizes. But then, look, there actually is a little bit –

it feels a bit better to kind of know you've got a shit prize and get a bad score rather than getting a bad score for a prize you really care about. So there is actually kind of solace in that. Well, the fish poster feels like that was one of those. How many points did I get for that? I think it was one, one or two. The fish poster did not go well. We absolutely eviscerated uh your country's uh pronunciation yeah yeah and then it was it was it was no i'm not even gonna say borderline

xenophobic it was xenophobic and it was uh colonial um it was like the amount okay i actually i actually get no no no because I'm getting angry about this now. Because the amount of Taskmaster legacy that fish poster has. Yes. That fish poster has cropped up in New Zealand Taskmaster shed. Yeah. It is a constant source of people, you know, taking photos of fish posters, buying their own fish posters for their sheds. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Everyone's enjoying it now. But where are the points when Rose needs them? taking photos of fish posters buying their own fish posters for their sheds ha ha ha ha everyone's enjoying it now but where are the points when rose needs them it is it's just it doesn't feel right but yeah it's left it's definitely left a legacy yeah it was i believe it formed the basis of an entire task in in the new zealand taskmaster a live studio task right it did it did and i mean you might want to cut stuff but it is actually, I saw it in the junior taskmaster shed that put it in, which is very sweet. Oh, great.

But it's, it's again, exactly what we're saying. Like, like the whimsy that Greg had no time for this series. Because also he's grown to like fucking whimsy. Like other series now,

beyond ours, he's like, I don't know what happened. I don't know goddamn what happened to the pandemic or something. Something happened to his brain. And he's now like on board with like cute little prize tasks and shit. And like emotions and that. And I'm like, where was this?

Maybe. Well, he ate 97 Mars bars in lockdown one. Maybe that had something to do with it. Did he actually? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Full size. Full size Mars bars. Yeah. One day he ate six in one day. in lockdown one maybe that had something to do with it did he actually yeah yeah yeah full size full-size mars bars yeah one day he ate six six in one day so maybe that had something to do with it maybe he's sugar himself into whimsy that is that is a truly whimsical thing to do to eat 96

he sounds like it sounds like a dr seuss character because david's could have been interpreted as whimsical until he brought the Nazis into it, because it was the long tin can walkie-talkie, which, by the way, is not long and thin, because the two ends are thick. Ridiculous. Oh, a piece of string is...

Oh, what you're talking about is a piece of string with two things that don't even pertain to the prize at the end of it. And you can't talk to someone through one piece of string. Oh, do you want to thread that whole can through a goddamn needle? Is that thin? Would you consider that thin? That is outrageous, actually. But we had a lot of Nazi chat from David because he talked about that board game as well. But to invoke his fear of Nazis coming to his house when he was a child, clever.

And that's what saved him and got him three points, I think. Very clever. But I think any extra points thrown David's way at this stage of the competition was probably good for his mental health. Yeah, but also pointless. True, pointless. Just throw the points into a bin because they're not going to help. Yeah, I mean, it could have spiced up the competition on the top end of the scoreboard a bin because they're not going to help. Yeah. I mean, it could have spiced up the competition on the top end of the scoreboard a bit more to spread them out.

But, you know, whatever. It's fine. I mean, genuinely, I don't even want to continue talking about this episode because it's actually genuinely too traumatic. I was trying to. I skimmed through it and I went, I can't. I can't actually fully engage in this. Well, you're going to have to because we're only on the prize task. Jo brought in a jumper that she made at university out of one long piece of wool,

and it's the only thing she's ever knitted. Rose, you brought in a crochet item on this series, of course. So you're more into the crafts than me. Is that how you knit? Do you use one long piece of wool? That is how you knit. And this is how you crochet. I mean, you can, you can.

The thing is, is that technically, and I needed to look at the cardigan a bit more because you can knit jumpers from one piece and you don't, because usually you have to knit or crochet separate pieces of the cardigan and then you seam them together. Yeah. I should go back and look at that jumper because it did not look like a jumper that was i guess what you do like in the round is what you'd call it in crochet um because because otherwise your the arms might look weird and stuff so so there is a there is a there is a thought that it could be four separate long

bits of wool but although the the bit of wool will still be longer but then again this is still what i'm saying like try and squeeze that through a goddamn yeah it's not long and thin anymore it's not long and thin anymore like oh cool um well i guess i'm long and thin because i'm made up of many tiny strands of dna and they're quite thin aren't they yeah oh that you should have done that. That would have been a great prize. God, it's only taken me, what, four years to think of that? Jesus. Nah, he wouldn't have gone for that.

But it's a good backstory as well, because there was a couple of things that Jo brought in where she went, isn't this rubbish? And everyone was like, no, we can sort of see the beauty in this. Like the statue that her dad made of her face, which she was like, this is horrible. And everyone was like, this is really sweet, Joe. This is really good.

Wait, did she bring in the sanitary bag as well? Yes. Yeah, that was awesome. The lady on the front. I like that. Yeah, she was quite good at Price House, Joe. Doesn't get the credit, as was David. Thank God, because otherwise I think he would have got so few points

he would have actually been relegated off the show after five episodes. He had a lot of good backstories to his he did he did um so look absolutely no problem with joe getting the four points there katie wicks a copy of war and peace with the pages stuck out and uh torn out and then stuck top to bottom so they're now long and thin can't deny this is long and thin i think it's i think it's i really like this one because it works on two levels in the sense that Warren Pitt, yeah, long, a long book, long, thin. And also the whole, like, how long did it end up being? 130 something meters, I think. Yeah.

Long old thing. Long old thing. Do you think she taped those together? No, absolutely not. There is no way. There is no way. She's came up with the idea and then someone did it for her, I'm sure. But I can't wait. I can't wait for the podcast to come out,

which is like, you know, the one that brought down Bon Appetit of like all of the production staff of Taskmaster being like, I was locked in a room for 17 hours and I was trying to get the strawberry laces. It was the worst work. Oh my God, it was so bad. Which will never happen, of course. No, absolutely not.

Because I'll never speak. They're not allowed. They'll never speak. They're not allowed. They'll never squeal. It was good. I think definitely deserved the five points. I remember being livid that this prize task was in the last episode as well. Yeah. When they were like, oh, it's this one today.

I'm like, oh no. Well, I know that's rubbish. I felt the same. Like, I think I started, my prize tasks started strong across the series and then they just went way downhill. But as did your ability to sell them, though. Yeah, but that's just true to my nature. I peter out. What did it mean?

You know, it's the more, maybe it's also the more Greg gets to know you because I didn't really know Greg that well. And so he's probably been quite nice to me at the start of it and then I think he got to know me more and then sort of could needle me a little bit more I mean look yeah I could have tried harder but it was a horrible combination of the price task genuine genuinely getting shitter and also my confidence kind of like aligning with that pretty appropriately you're very funny when you peter out though which is which is a real curse but um well that's what's the funny thing is like when i was watching this one i'm going like we're just saying it really quietly into my mic yeah in the studio like no one can hear that so like really it it is really me

just muttering not wanting the studio to hear. True shame. I feel like, you know, that video of that dog, like when dogs are shamed out and they're like, do that face. They're like, that's exactly what I look like. It was one point for your lasso made of strawberry laces, two points for my spaghetti, three points for David's tin can walkie talkie,

tin can walkie talkie, four points for Joe's jumper and five points for Katie's copy of War and Peace. I think points go to substantial offerings. Ride them up, cowboy, gets one point, the strawberry lace girl. Oh, kiss it. Wow, hear the crowd.

And I really, I know that Ed's pasta's going to be delicious, but I'm only giving it two points. Two points for spaghetti Did you really want to hide from Nazi tyranny? I did really want to hide I don't know that the walkie-talkie would have saved me three points. Thank you Joe's story really touched me four points But look she's taken on one of the most classic novels the world has ever seen, and she's put it next to a chart. Five points. Can you believe it?

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So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Task one. Do the most preposterous thing with this chickpea you have 20 minutes your time starts now i forgot this opened this episode is this is a banging task it's a banging task it's a great final episode task it really is um now let's let's

get stuck into it straight away um there were a few moments, I think, during the series where you were very angry when I got the same points as you. Not even necessarily more. When I got the same points, you were really angry. Which one? And would give me such a look. It was mainly the... What was it? What was it?

Was it the potatoes? Was it the potato... Maybe. There was definitely something else as well. Maybe the serenade, I think. Yes, it was a serenade. Yeah, you were very angry about that. There was an episode where we got the same points.

And I remember there's a shot of us both looking at each other, like happy but wanting to kill each other as well. It was like this really kind of like tightly pursed mouth going, I'm fine with that. I'm really fine. Yeah, I'm totally fine with that. The thing is, I think I genuinely was fine with that i'm really fine yeah i'm totally fine the thing is i think i genuinely was fine with it because it was quite often would happen in tasks where i wasn't too sure whether what i did was good yeah but that means i should have got more points than you surely yeah but it turns out i would turns out it was brilliant i was just hiding my light under a

bushel but ones where you were like i've absolutely nailed this and then you were disgusted that you got the same points as me well look i think this is one where i should have got the same points as you oh you know what ed you know what ed i wouldn't disagree i think i actually wouldn't disagree on this one the best i think i was the best i i would have been happy with equal points for this i think with the serenade one i was i was more annoyed because i played the guitar as well yes you know what i mean and that was for me a part like in a points-based assist i'm like look i tried to you know play something with it i've moved past that now but i am i am mature enough to accept that we should have got the same amount of points for this one for sure um this was absolutely amazing though it was brilliant but mine was just i don't think i only pipped it because greg sometimes likes being like uh i don't know maybe

like he's moved by the more depressing things potentially yeah yeah and and and a funeral for a chickpea very well performed by you as well uh and and and the rest of the cast of well here's here's something that i'd never seen before until i was watching this episode back and i must have seen this a few times now um the crew all come out you know wearing wearing black holding the plank with the chickpeas coffin on it and there's a shot of them walking past and andrew uh is at the back as one of the pallbearers. And I think the plank wasn't very long because he is holding his hand up as if he's carrying a plank, but he is carrying nothing. I think he's like lightly touching the plank. No, no, no, no, the plank is not in his hand.

He's literally just walking along with his hand held up as if the plank's there, but nothing's there. Isn't it a really funny like blooper and in a film where, I forgot what film it is, but it's in the background of a street sweeper sweeping the street, but not sweeping the street, because obviously it would make noise. If you just Google that on YouTube, I think that's what it is. That's exactly what that is. Yeah, that's what Andrew had to do. I mean, the sort of things that Andrew gets dragged into, absolutely amazing.

But it made me laugh so much and i'd never seen it he's just miming as if someone said we'll put the plank in later for the plank in post well that's i mean as you recall in the serenade i was told emphatically that they would take the greens the green screen um uh stick that the rose was attached to out and um obviously they didn't so you know never never never trust the Taskmaster post-production team well you you did better than David in that one because because he'd never seen Taskmaster he didn't know you could ask for that so with ours we obviously plan little stories and films and we specifically asked for these things yeah to create a narrative and let them work their magic in the edit

david literally took some members of the crew on a walk and seemingly when they went on the walk he had no idea what he was going to do at the end of it it was a real um his kind of a real louis theroux moment like for him i think it was much more of a fly on the wall kind of well like a kind of mates like who did um like grey guard it was very grey gardens to me it was a very fly on the wall kind of documentary about a man with no plan walking around truly trying to find meaning in this world with a chickpea in a corner shop i mean it's kind of a nice rare occurrence when you kind of go off site. Yeah. And into the real world and speak to people. Yeah.

It's really odd. But I mean, his initial thought was stick it up his ass. And then his next thought was balance it on my cock. His cock. That's I'm speaking as David. He didn't think that would be strange if he went. Yeah.

Do you think they would have let him do that? If he'd gone to the toilet, shoved it up his ass. Do you think that would have been adm do that if he'd gone to the toilet, shoved it up his ass? Do you think that would have been admissible? I mean, I was, I was actually catching, like I caught,

uh, I was watching TV the other day and I saw Rod's series actually. And it was, I think it was the task where they had to go into the elevator and, um, and you, and you come out looking different. And as soon as you went in,

I was like, where's he going to take all his clothes off? And then he came out, yep, he got all his clothes off. And I think there is a certain, like, you know, a generation of boys that you kind of can expect the first couple of. Yeah, yeah. Like Al Murray, like, wanted a pit. Didn't he want to, he wanted to piss.

What was the one where he was going to? The one where he had to sweat into a cup. Yes. Yeah, he pissed into it because he said it's the same stuff so yeah i know what you mean and i it's nice of you to suggest it's a generational thing rather than just a gender thing well yeah i mean like there are there is a moment in an upcoming task in this episode where i think you probably do something similarly yeah and there was there was a task i remember that wasn't in the final show which was uh make the most beautiful mess on this task um and my initial thought was paint my balls and do like a potato print with my balls onto it

the speed at which you even recounted that plan yeah just because i think about that because i didn't do that and the task wasn't in but i do think that if i had done that the task might have been in you said that as if you were like ordering your coffee in the morning yeah i was gonna paint my balls and just um do like a potato from my balls and um yeah just like kind of just something like straightforward and simple like that yeah so i don't think it's i don't think it's a generational thing at all no i think um yeah if you got it flaunted if you got a cock balanced chickpea on it i guess um sticking up your ass is a more like kind of um that's just for him you know what i mean that's the sort of yeah yeah it doesn't it probably wouldn't read very well on telly

yeah it's such an interesting instinct to like go well to find an object and go panic go what am i gonna do with this yeah first instinct stick up your ass especially a chickpea as well yeah that's hard because it's the integrity of the chickpea that's gonna probably like you know you'd have to protect it to get it in whole yeah out of all the pulses i feel like it's dry chickpea dry chickpea probably fine yeah but yeah cooked yeah cooked chickpea is just gonna paste up straight away depending on um of course how how loose david's arsehole is but i think this is a really good example of a task that a lot of tasks and taskmaster do which is it's a task where it shows someone's truest self yeah of what their first instinct and reaction to the task is. Because I think they very immediately, emotionally,

mentally react to it with a clear idea. And usually, you know, it's always like, your first idea is your best idea. That's not really the case at all. The first idea is, I think, a really true reflection of who you are as an individual. Yes. So what does that say about you, first of all,

and then me after? Well, I've got to say this was my first idea. So it was not shown in the task, but it kind of was just, you know, you're presented with a chickpea and I went, oh, we could do a funeral for the chickpea. And I can remember, I remember Alex kind of like eyes going. Doing his little nod. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you say it as if it's the most obvious answer. Yeah. And that must be so enjoyable for Alex.

Every day with different people. Every day with different people. Their most obvious answer is the most batshit insane thing. So like, yeah, I mean, I love doing the little theatrical kind of act outs for tasks. And I thought a chickpea funeral, A, very cute, very small. We got very excited about like, you know, like all of the elements that we could do with the matchbox. The salt and pepper on there, yeah.

The tiny grave. How do you lower a tiny matchbox into a tiny grave? Like there is something very surreal about, you know, being an adult and your job is to sort of instruct a crew of people to do something. You walk outside and you see someone's dug a tiny small grave for a matchbox for a chickpea. And you're like, wow, this is awesome.

And I went hard on the acting, you know, I went hard on the grieving. I've always wanted to look like a grieving wife, grieving widow, you know. Yeah. And it's Chick Pataki. Well, it was Chuck Pataki, weirdly. Was it Chick Pataki? No, Chick, not P. So his name was Chick, and then his last name's P, Pataki.

But I didn't want it to be P because that's too obvious. Yeah. Like he's a guy. But Pataki is quite an interesting surname to pick. Yeah, I don't know where I've thought of that. Am I crazy? Was it like Elsa Pataki and Hey Arnold? Wow, you are the only person I know

who would delve into the backstory of Hey Arnold to try and come up with a reference. Elsa and Hey Arnold was... List of Hey Arnold, Elsa and Hey Arnold was, list of Hey Arnold, yeah, Helga G. Pataki. Well, there you go. Because I never knew Rose and to be honest, I didn't ask because I thought it was a joke that I'd missed and I don't like being caught out in missing jokes. And then I assumed that there was, I assumed genuinely all these years that there was a New Zealand celebrity called Rick Pataki. I love how that was your assumption. There must be a Rick Pataki.

That's obviously Rick, but there's obviously a pun on Rick Pataki. God, I mean, maybe there is a Rick Pataki out there. Should I Google Rick Pataki? Maybe, have a look for Rick Pataki. Yeah. Oh God, that's, I would, honestly, I've only ever made that connection that the Pataki came from Hey Arnold, Helga Pataki. Maybe, have a look for Rick Pataki. Yeah, oh God, that's, I would, honestly, I've only ever made that connection that the Pataki came from Hey Arnold. Yeah.

Helga Pataki. So that's canon with Hey Arnold, I guess. Yeah. That's wild. It did deserve five points. It was clear. But mine also went very well in the studio. So, so how, yeah.

And we cannot deny the crowd reaction. Yes. I, now speaking of, you know, what we're talking about, first reactions really says a lot about a person's personality. Yes. Was this your first instinct when it came to the chickpea? I wouldn't say that it all happened at once in terms of the instinct. Yes. I thought, go on a date with it and then have some sort of gross

ending I think it was really sweet that you went on a date with it you wind it you dined it but I didn't think that was enough so then then I thought how do we get that to be hummus I thought that would be a fun transition and clearly the only thing to do is um have it run over and then and then get off with it while it was hummus oh god the shock on your face when it cuts back to the studio i'm very proud of it's just such a visceral thing because it's also because you're a really good actor in that you know i bought into the the romance of the of the with the chickpea and also again the death i mean two, but very different instincts in how we respected the memory of chickpea, I think.

And I think there was just something about that caravan. You know, any shot, any wide shot to a caravan where there's someone fucking hummus, I guess. It's not the... Of course, Sally Phillips had sex with a water cooler in that caravan so I felt like

it wasn't sacred ground you know it's seen a lot of stuff it's been what is it decon no desanct

something something with this word sanctum in it or something yes I think can you say

deconsecrated but was it ever consecrated yeah i'm not sure it's been sullied sullied that's the word it's truly been sullied that yeah and look i look i look back on that and i'm still proud of it even though it is a very disgusting way to end let's talk about katie uh because i feel like i feel because this didn't require a narrative thing me you and David did did a narrative thing to different levels of success I feel like the ones that weren't narrative sort of got a little bit skimmed over and a little bit disrespected because I thought Katie's was

great because it really was something preposterous it was truly preposterous yeah I think so very Katie I mean that exactly as I say like that's probably one of her first instincts is, yeah, of course I'm going to make the chick be into little fingernails. Yeah. Which is one of those, I think that everyone has those kind of, I love that about the human brain is that sometimes it fritzes out in a way that you go, there's something I really want to do with a strange object.

There's two things that I never would combine together yeah but somehow i want to do it like i have like um like for a long time when i was like a kid i always had the craving to um uh open a wine like a scalp use a scalpel to open a wine gum and put some cream in and that's and i i thought that about that for years yeah it was like a fantasy of mine i've got i'm going i've got to do this i have to do i have to do this put it take a little wine gum and just put a little bit of whipped cream in there yeah and that's what the chickpea thing reminds me of of like a truly um preposterous kind of yeah like uh uh it's like two like neurons that shouldn't kind of match up in the brain the fingernail neuron and the chickpea neuron yeah exactly having the venn diagram crossover going i'm gonna make um fingernails

out of chickpeas so i i do agree um didn't she paint them did you paint them she painted them yeah she put them on rubber gloves and painted them. And then a very funny Katie shot, which lives with me of holding them right up to her face and like smiling down the camera. She just got so many of those faces during this series. My favorite being, and I've talked about this a lot while we've been talking about the series is her Taskmaster theme tune. The end of that, the good luck to all those taking part in task today, getting really close to the camera. So funny. I saw Katie the other day, she's walking out of a coffee shop in soho and she went i was just walking somewhere she rose i mean oh god and i saw her and then we turned we both i dropped my phone picked it up we both turned to

look at the same way and then she went that's brian cox getting in a taxi and then and then we went oh my god it is it was such an odd occurrence it was which one which brian cox brian cox uh succession brian cox oh nice and then i looked and then i acted really shocked Oh my God, it is. It was such an odd occurrence. Which one? Which Brian Cox? Brian Cox, Succession Brian Cox. Oh, nice. And then I acted really shocked. And then it seemed like I was being suspicious. Like, are you having an affair with Brian Cox? No, I didn't even go.

I just didn't go. I'm just going in the opposite direction. Exactly. Yes, no, she's right. But they were great. The fingernails were great. I should ask you quickly as well. Did you ever use a scalpel to open up a wine gum and put whipped cream in?

I never did. I don't think I ever did. Does that not still exist in your brain as something that you want to do? Oh, yeah. I've literally thought about it for, I guess, 15, over 15 years. Maybe I did try and do it once. I just think, honestly, the surface, like the amount of like, like a wine gum isn't like a taco. There isn't like a expansive amount of space inside to get a meaningful amount of whipped cream in there.

Because I also had like similar fantasies about like, I mean, grating chocolate, everyone grates chocolate, but there's like a, maybe it was like ASMR before I knew about ASMR or that it was even a thing. It's like the hydraulics thing that pushed things down or yeah you know there's the stuff that's very satisfying to people but the writing on a banana people like writing on a banana with biro oh my god gorgeous yeah I had I had a couple more I think I should maybe get into it and maybe I should just start an only fans doing them is it the same instinct that means that people like who the people who like pimple popping do you think it's

the same instincts as that i'm not like yeah oh no i think there is a difference maybe in genre of popping a pimple of like having something extrude from something and putting something inside because have you seen all those videos of like when people like hide like a little pea in like a nook of a wall and they like put a pea in and then they like put like putty in and they put like fill it with like seeds or like and then they like make it so like basically a pea is hidden in a wall forever and you can never find it yeah and i normally got the jump on me with uh with weird internet videos i feel like i don't know why they come up yeah but interesting i i just got into um uh hoof doctors what is that uh guys uh guys whose job is to go to farms and get things out of uh

horses hooves and cows hoo hooves. That's awesome. Because it's just like, it's basically fingernail. It's keratin. So if they want to get something, they shave loads of it off and it's very satisfying to watch. Oh, my God. Sometimes it's a bit pussy for me, but in the main, it's very satisfying. That's funny.

Carpet cleaning ones I've got into as well. But I've become skeptical about those because I'm going, I think you're making these carpets dirty just to clean them again. So I don't believe in the art anymore. I don't believe in the art form. Imagine if I watch Hoof Doctors and they are shaving a hoof for ages and then a pee comes out. The crossover.

The true crossover of television history it's like Hercules and Xena just the crossover I would if anyone's listening to the podcast and wants to open up a wine gun with a little scalpel and a little bit of whipped cream in please be my guest

someone will definitely do that and Joe of course just pops a chickpea in a gap in her teeth. Classic Joe. Absolutely iconic stuff. No messing around. Bob's your uncle. Yeah.

Can't fault it. It is preposterous. It is preposterous. It was one point for that effort from Joe, two points for David, three points for Katie, four points for me, and five points for, to be fair,

your wonderful funeral task. Do the most preposterous thing with this chickpea. You have 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Yes, please. Your time starts now. Ah, okay. What do you think preposterous means, Katie?

Absurd. Outlandish. My process normally is to do the first thing that comes to my head. And obviously the first thing I think is to shove this up my arse. Well, let's bank that. So something small would be like trying to do something large with it.

Okay, let's see. Let's think of something else I can do. Here I am trying to think of the second thing I could do. Balance it. Oh my God. Now let's move on to the next task. Make the best cup of tea in this teacup you must use all the equipment on the table you must not use anything from the kitchen you must wear the washing up gloves throughout the task best cup of tea wins you have a maximum of 10 minutes your time starts now there's a very great moment in the studio here rose where none of us can remember what the final team task is and then when alex says, this should be everyone's cup of tea, we look, I mean, we just go naughty immediately. We're like, oh no.

Like I'm pretty proud of all of our team tasks, except for this one, I think. This was the last one of the day, wasn't it? It was, it was like, we were kind of going nuts. I think, yeah, you could probably put the order, like the team tasks in an order pretty easily of how unhinged our behavior is yeah this was full-on because we clearly didn't care about points at

this at this stage of the day no we just wanted to go for a beer after yeah we did we had a lovely beer after we did we did it was it was oh god yeah it's a hard watch this one it's a hard watch because in my opinion it's a hard watch because one. It's a hard watch because in my opinion, it's a hard watch because the confidence of which like the deluded confidence at which we participate in the task with is like astonishing. Like I wrote down when I was watching, I was like, I think at one point, like you're doing something absolutely insane. And I'm going, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Is it when we've wadded up the tea? I think I've got the tea, all, yeah, that's great, that's great, that's great. What am I saying? Is it when we've wadded up the tea?

I think I've got all the tea in my hands and you're like pouring water onto it and I'm just squeezing it going, yeah, look, lovely cup of tea. And we're all in agreement. No one's going, do you think that's nice? Casey rolls with anything. Totally. I think that was a real like,

we yes- anded each other way too much in there yeah in that scenario and the obviously the um i i suddenly say and then i'll spit the milk in yeah and katie goes spit the milk in all right yeah and then she doesn't question it and i spit it in and there's a quote that i will never forget when i'm gobbing all that tea in and there's clearly loads of spit in there as well. And Katie just goes, oh, it's a frothy one. Oh, it's a frothy one will live in my brain. It's just, there could, like the way you like suck it up

and then like spit, like it's just, there's more, I couldn't, I didn't, somehow there's like more spit and that's when you, it comes out of your mouth, then there is milk, which is like seems impossible. Yeah, I didn't, somehow there's like more spit and that's when it comes out of your mouth, then there is milk, which is like seems impossible. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Also, it takes effort to, because you could have dribbled it out, but you didn't, you like spat it out with such force,

like a fire hose that's sort of just winging away on a street corner or something. It's like, it came up with such like, like a water blaster. That was what it was so freaky. And they made it frothy. And at this point you knew that you hit, that Alex would be trying it, right?

Yeah, I think that's why I spat it. Yeah, you did, yeah. Yeah, that's the balance, isn't it? You want to do it well, but also you want to be remembered. Absolutely. A disgusting episode for me in terms of mouth things. It was fun to be naughty though. It was.

It was. Because for the rest of the team day, we were pretty good. Yeah. We were really good. We were chaotic in that initial choose your own adventure task. The foley one we had fun. The foley one we were really good and very organized yes um so this was just this was us stretching our legs though i think um david and joe actually did it pretty well i mean obviously joe goes to the toilet

during still the only person to do that i believe the pace at which the pace, I hope to, that's what I constantly aim for is to live my life at a pace of Joe Brand. Yeah. Just chilling out, man. Smelling the roses. Going to have a piss. Going to, you know, the iconic, like, what was it? Their, I mean, their task of obviously the one you have to go around the house. Yeah.

You know, that will that will live for me with me forever the speed at which like we went around that map and yeah and their pace is like so slow the bit where we had to make a sandwich they put the butter in the microwave to soften it up like the thing is joe joe gets it done she still gets it done but just totally at her own pace and they they did do a good job here. They found the fishing net to be a tea strainer, which was smart. They went to the shed. What really makes me laugh about this

is when Joe goes to the toilet, David could be doing something, but he's completely lost. He's just like, oh, Joe's just in the toilet and he's just stood there looking at all the stuff. And he could start, because he's got an idea. He's got the, I'm going to put the glass in there, but he waits for Joe to get back. He's so sweet. I'm going to put the glass in there. But he waits for Joe to get back.

He's so sweet. I've done it. I've done it. It's so sweet. Very, very sweet. But look, it was a lovely win for them that they got five points here. They totally deserve that, yeah. Yeah, they did.

And I think we were lucky to get one because it really- I think so. We were lucky to get not negative points for that. Because Alex still holds that up in the top three of the worst things he's ever had to put into his mouth in Taskmaster. Brutal. Well, you've got to reach for the stars.

You've got to do it. And you know what? We'll go down in history for that. Yeah, absolutely. So it was one point for us and five points for David and Jo. Oh, yes, there's a Scoopy. Where did you get the Scoopy from? I got it from the dressing room. Is the key in the milk? Is it in this? Have we checked? No, there's a scoopy. Where did you get the scoopy from? I got it from the dressing room.

Is the key in the milk? No, it's not. Is it in this? Have we checked? No, it's not in there. There's not enough in there for that. There you go. That'll do that.

There's a punch. We want to strain it. We should just wad it up and squeeze it into the cup instead of a strainer. Wad it up and squeeze it. Wad it up and squeeze it into the cup. Look. Tea. Oh, great.

Wow, that's amazing. Top of tea, anyone? Great, great, great. That's looking the part. Look, tea. Oh great. Wow that's amazing actually. Top of tea anyway. Great, great, great. That's looking the part. How long have we got? We've got three and a half minutes left. Right so everyone just get as much water on that as possible and then I'll spit the milk on top when we're done. You spit? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh it's a fluffy one. Have you done sugar? No, we haven't done sugar. I can't spit that in. Stir it. Give it a stir. That's a cup of tea, right?

Just clean up the edges there. Are you tasting this, Alex? Yes. I feel like we're done. I don't think we're going to get a better cup of tea than that. OK. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Alex.

Task three, the final pre-recorded task of the series. Brutal. Complete the seven tasks. When you touch a task in any way, you must complete it before looking inside another task. Fastest wins, your time starts now. Of course, I will list the seven tasks now. Complete the jigsaw.

This is in order if you did it in the right way. Complete the jigsaw. Hide all the jigsaw pieces around the garden. Put this wheelbarrow in the caravan. the wheelbarrow must stay in the caravan for the rest of the task. Put 20 things all bigger than a tennis ball in the wheelbarrow, roll the bowling ball from behind the rope at the top of the drive

so it knocks over at least one of the skittles in front of the front door. Build a tower of bricks on this red circle, the tower must be at least 26 inches high and must remain standing until all the tasks are completed. And finally, place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there until you've completed all of the tasks that would have been the order to do it that's almost the order you did it in basically rose isn't it yeah sorry i really went i

disassociated i went to another place i went to basically the darkest thoughts of my life um yes i did nearly um i did it in a clockwise fashion, but alternating, thinking that that would be some sort of thing. But it turned out, you know, it didn't hurt me, which is quite good. Yeah. Still. Yeah. And that's all I have to say. But of course, it's amazing.

They played you first. And so like, so together throughout the whole thing. There's like the shot of you bowling is like just a lady having a nice day. Yeah, that was fun. Perfect bowling form. Everything went great. And you're like, yeah, all done. And I was sat there in the studio going, oh, my fucking God.

Yeah. This is it. I'm done. Rose has won the series. This is incredible. Look, no, I have to point out, even if I had won that task, I wouldn't have won the series. Yes, true.

And I have thought about that yes true and i have thought about that yes i have thought about that and that's the only thing that makes me sleep at night knowing that if i didn't if i had won that task it still wouldn't have meant that i would have won um i that genuinely i mean look you can you can almost you can just see it in my in my eyes in the studio i was just mortified because it's one mortified because it's just one of those things. I was avoiding this the entire series, the entire series to be caught out on a small thing. I was paranoid. I never used my phone.

I always tried to follow the rules. I always tried to read the instructions as details as clearly as I could. Obviously messed up along the way. rules i always tried to read the instructions as as as details as clearly as i could obviously messed up along the way i was like so paranoid the entire series i was like wow great i've made it through i've made it through without without a hitch that was my joe wilkinson moment that was my um like it was just like you know because it also for me represents you know a failure not only in this task but in life in general where I just miss I just miss one tiny detail like I I really do have the tendency to like you know even in my life you know doing a task I'll just kind of stop at some

point and then not do like the most important, like I'll stop at 90%. And then just for some reason, just go do something else. And it's such an insane behavior and habit to have. And it was fascinating because when they cut back, so of course your tower was 23 inches tall, not 26 inches tall. We don't have inches in New Zealand oh yeah yeah but come on come on now you can't you can't play that card

because you had a measuring tape you know that they exist yeah no it was I can't play that I can't play that card it's great it's more that like I've for some reason my i blacked out and decided at the last minute to vibe it to like yeah absolutely just guess how much 23 inches was i was like what the hell well you sort of loosely drape the measuring tape next to it and sort of go yeah that'll probably do but i think it was you just had to use all the bricks i think that's what yeah what would have given you a tower big enough and you can see you've not you've not used the last sort of three or four bricks. What I will say is that it adds a bit of jeopardy and a bit of drama to a final episode of a series.

And I'm happy that it did, rather than just a clean cut sweet win for me. But then ultimately, potentially, you know, an overall loss. Anyway, let's move on. Let's move on to the other people i don't want to talk about it anymore it's my greatest you nearly did it i mean let's i mean fairly standard david uh david attempts at this task um refused to have his hand on his hip at any point when he was supposed to basically just kept taking it off alex constantly going you've

taken your hand off your hip said he'd rather die than do the tasks again so just carried on waving his hand around called his brother to check where his hip was because his brother's just had a hip replacement wow his mind works in such an interesting way yeah like really like i like beyond what i would even expect of you know of of of of a guy like David Baddiel. Just incredible to call his brother, very funny thing to do, to call his brother to ask where his hip is when his brother's just had a hip replacement.

That's the last person I'd call. Where's your hip? He doesn't know where his hip is. Yeah, it's in an incinerator somewhere. But yeah, obviously he should have started again, but he wasn't going to do it. Same with Jo. Like she just started taking stuff out the wheelbarrow after the win so she could get

it into the caravan. Alex said he didn't ask her to start again because she'd threatened to have a stroke, which as far as I'm aware, people can't hold strokes over other people. You can't do that. That's not, it's not emotionally fair and it also seems physically impossible yeah um so i think alex really was worried if the possibility of joe saying i'm going to have a stroke and then her actually then having a stroke and he he brought it about so fair enough but she didn't start again yeah katie felt gutted for katie as well more similar to to how you failed in this task just missed her numbers she skipped three numbers out yeah yeah and I think we would be kind of bonded over that sort of just like

slight you know slight mistake the little mistake in details but you know it's I mean did you you you got you hated this one you hated it was very stressful because obviously I assumed that everyone would be starting again if they made a mistake so i've got to start again really really stressed because i picked everything in almost completely the wrong order then i nearly to be fair and i shout that myself i say i nearly i nearly did it i nearly did it getting the wheelbarrow into the caravan with all the stuff in it with the hand on my hip i nearly got it in there and then that would have been fine yeah after nearly catastrophically messing up by putting the skittles into the wheelbarrow it's almost my first act and then suddenly clocking halfway through and why are their skittles here that's so brutal it's all it's just it's it's so stressful to be in that

like it's it's horrible to show my one first i mean it's it's perfect pacing it's it's so stressful to be in that like it's it's horrible to show my one first i mean it's it's perfect pacing it's perfect editing it's just like yeah because because also then you got upset about that then i crumble after the fact that you know after when they show you how tall that brick tower is it it's it's it's genius stuff it's like also i'd say it's a really good task for a final episode because it's so quantifiable. You know what I mean? It's so clear cut if you have done that right or wrong. Yes.

And as much as I wish they had been a little loose with the rules in judging this one, it's such an easy one. It's not like, oh, judge it on vibes or, you know. Yeah. It's nice. It's very clean. It's a clean task absolutely like i mean in terms of you say that this show shows everyone's inner child this i mean i'm not proud of how i reacted

in any of this and also it's complex emotionally um to watch back like it's the sort of thing you couldn't put in a script like me as a man who thinks he's about to lose points and everyone else is about to get away with something that I consider to be an absolute injustice so I get really angry and then they don't get away with it and I do get what I want and then I have to become humble yeah which is so specific I couldn't act that if someone said this is what the characters do that is so true i mean but then it's like the same for me where i kind of had to act humble yeah and then and then sort of be like yeah it's fine it's fine it's totally fine like you know masking immense heartbreak yeah just seeing like you know just going oh oh I completely

fucked it yeah smile through tears Rose smile through the tears but also I when they showed your the mistake you'd made it cuts to me and I'm like shocked and I am trying to mask my absolute glee I know oh I can see it but through but through me being like oh no no i mean you want to go shit i mean look the generous read of that face was what that looks like you're you're kind of reconciling your absolute glee of winning it and your true sympathy for your friend who has absolutely fucked it which um obviously no that's not the case as clearly as you said uh but it um but i think there was part of you in that task that understood how if that were you yeah you would be devastated oh for sure absolutely for

sure yeah and also i can't believe they left in the fly thing this i've i've said this to multiple people but when my wife charlie watched that she said that's the closest to your actual personality you've ever been on tv getting really angry like oh but i've done it right and then a fly and then i try and kill it fly it's just so that is like truly like uh you know what they're doing there you know what they're doing within that edit that that's a that seems like a youtube outtake if anything yeah no no they're putting it straight and straight raw dogging it into the into the i tell you what i remind me of is like like in a in a in a show about like regency england when there's like a king who's seven oh my gosh yes like a king that's got like, that's got sort of like hemophilia. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A really ill little king, but he's really horrible.

He was always eating a little turkey leg. Yeah. Yeah. With a withered hand. With a withered hand. A fly! Get the fly away! Mother get the fly away from me! I'm the king! Now bring me my wife who's 28 years old.

Maybe I should come and do Junior Taskmaster as a contestant. You should! Now bring me my wife who's 28 years old. Maybe I should come and do Junior Taskmaster as a contestant. You should. Yeah. I think you could coach them. I think you could coach them to be a bit more, you know, lean into their sort of. Yeah. I think they could coach me on how to conduct myself in public.

No, I think it was the exact right alchemy of people in our cast. Yes. You need that. You need, you know in our cast. Yes, for sure. You need that. You need, you know, the villains. Oh, thank you. The villains. No, I would put myself in that camp as well. Just a more pathetic villain, petering out.

The villains and the fools. I mean, to be honest, I think we didn't have villains. I think we had some people. It was actually a spectrum of giving a shit in that one. Yes, yeah, yeah. It was a real true spectrum of giving a shit, but everyone was, you know, kind of, you didn't really necessarily hate anyone for any particular reason. Right. And then, well, it was four of us on that spectrum.

And then David was on his complete, completely own spectrum of David thought he was going on. Yeah. He didn't know what was going on. Did he? So it was not points for you,ie joe and david and five points for me oh yay two left place one of your hands on your hips and keep it there until you've completed all the tasks is that my hip i'm never entirely sure my hip is where do you think your

hip might be is it here yes either yeah hello you've recently had a hip replacement isn't that Yes? Ivor? Yeah, Ivor. Yeah, hello. You've recently had a hip replacement, isn't that true? That's correct. But I'm not entirely sure where my hip is. It kind of runs down, sort of, by your testicles. By your testicles? Yeah. Sort of.

What? Leading us to the live task. Pull the short breadstick. Taking it in turns, you must pull a breadstick out of the apron of the person next to you. Before each pull, the breadstick's bearer must point to one of their breadstick's wink and say, this is the short breadstick taking it in turns you must pull a breadstick out of the apron of the person next to you before each pull the breadsticks bearer must point to one of their breadsticks wink and say this is the short breadstick if you pull the short breadstick that breadstick bearer is disqualified last remaining player wins winner takes all now i've not watched this back for a while because i normally skip this out because mentally at the time i hadn't worked out that i'd won anyway so i thought it

was down to this and the first thing that happens to me is david picks my short breadstick um and i was gutted i thought that was it and then i had to go and sit on the bench and talk myself into looking happy to be honest maybe it was maybe it was though like i had to win oh no no because i'm trying to figure out how i figured it out in that episode that yeah that it would it was pointless that because it was i had to get five i had to get one more how much how many points did i lose by about four or five didn't i no it was a it's eight yeah eight so i think i think you would have struggled so you won this even if you'd got yeah i had to want one the this task yeah and i would have had

to got higher on the prize task yes and i would have had to not fucked that last task up. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, I mean, the image of you slamming your breadsticks down onto the stage, like, you could hear the breadsticks, like, breaking. It was astonishing. Yeah. Very angry little king. Also, I hate the way that Taskmaster brings back, like, triggering objects for you throughout a series so so it's like they're fucking with you because I'm like yeah well I've already had a mental breakdown

trying to push a watermelon up a slide with breadsticks I've already been humiliated nationwide with that and so seeing another fucking breadstick has just killed me so it should have worked for me because that was the other task which I got points in that nobody else got any points in so if anything it should have been a positive connection that was the other task which I got points in that nobody else got any points in. So if anything, it should have been a positive connection. This is true. I mean, you could see though, you could see it through the task that you're pissed off. My heart has died. And even though I win the task, I'm like still miserable. I'm like, yeah, that's great. I love it. That's great. And then, so you win the task, you get the five points on the breadstick task

but then we have a tie break because we're tied for 12 points at the top and your heart is broken again because it was make a pop-up toy pause for the longest before it pops out you may use one of the spreads provided to make your pause longer and we both use peanut butter but the difference is you just used a bit of it i i pussied out i pussied out on the peanut butter but was this another case of you setting up rules for yourself that didn't exist yeah i mean it's it's 100 it's it's like i was so cautious with those things like i didn't i just i don't also like i don't like making a mess that That was what, that's what I'm, I'm so, I just think, yeah, I should have go, I should have gone harder.

But then like, to be honest, as hard as I would have gone, you always would have gone harder because you're insane. So I knew, I like kind of knew that it was, it was, you were going to nail it. Like I think any of the tie breaks you know it's um particularly that one though it's like if yes if you have the option to put an entire jar of peanut butter on a poppy happy toy it's gonna do it yeah you gotta do it rose is gonna think well maybe some of these guys want some peanut butter on toast later but that was a well-won tie break a very a very well-won tie-break. Yes, yours lasted 44 seconds and apparently mine was over 90 minutes.

Ridiculous. So very happy with that. That's longer than like most feature films. Yeah. Mental. Hey, maybe they can release it. They could release a time-lapse. Yeah.

Just a live feed. Yeah. Put it in black and white, win some sort of award. I love it. Meaning I win the episode and the series with 167 points. You on 159. Katie on 158. I actually want to say before we wrap up,

you and Katie had some weird things in the series where you were very much on the same page. Totally. And you were sat next to each other as well and the one that was most astonishing to me was the when you had to make your knees or elbows look like a celebrity and whoever you did the other one had mentioned it in elizabeth taylor and richard burton we went straight for it yeah and uh and who did katie do she did um frida carlo yeah frida carlo yeah and you'd mentioned them in your vt yeah that's so weird yeah i mean yeah katie and i

had a good bond um throughout the series you i think you do make i don't know i have i have to ask other taskmaster contestants if they had a little bit of a bond or the people next to them yeah i mean you were obviously next to david which is quite interesting david and joe so what i had and i mentioned it before is them leaning across me to ask them if they remembered the task and they never had so that's why I was out for a day out it's like being at church or something yeah yeah people right now do you know this hymn I don't know this hymn I never had this hymn before in my life I I, yeah, I am, we, me and Katie, you might notice it, like, if you ever watch it back,

but we started, strangely, every time we'd come back from a studio task, we'd do, like, a little dance into the, we tried to, like, come back to the chairs in quite an interesting way. Yeah. So, like, sometimes you'll see, like, we're doing, like, a bit of a,

I don't know, like, a saunter over. Well, actually, myself and Joe, every time we had to come out of the tusk applauding would find a new way of applauding and you see it occasionally in the edit the most ridiculous one being turning our hands into like little birds wings oh my god i miss joe i've got to give her a text she's just she's just the best joe is the person who everyone asks how that you know what she's like you know having been on it and i was like it's so so nice to be able to just be like she is the best because she just she totally was absolutely but you know and also i think katie doesn't get enough credit for you know at the end it was so tight between yeah us three and particularly me and katie so it was

anyone's game really but i think it was just me and you had a bit of um we were the most obviously tense about it yeah yeah and Joe got 154 was only four points behind Katie and then David on 128 oh dear we won't talk about that it's been a lot of fun talking about series nine but i am glad that i don't have to do it anymore um because soon we will be discussing series 16 on the podcast uh we know the lineup of course and we will ask you for your predictions for a winner for a loser for who's going to do well who's going to do badly the lineup to remind you is is Julian Clary, Lucy Beaumont, Sam Campbell, Sue Perkins, and Susan Wacoma. I mean, look, the only person in that lineup that I have quite a close friendship with is Sam Campbell, obviously Australian, known him for 10 years.

That guy is wild. Yes. him for 10 years that guy is wild yes he's he's the type of guy who yeah as a friend as a person who's known him for 10 years i don't know i can't predict how on any given day he'll show up yeah when he'll show up to my house what he'll say what he showed up recently to a screening of of of starstruck you know for the third series wearing starstruck t-shirts with my face and my co-writer alice neddon's face printed on them um with team rose and team alice on them he i think he's going to either like astonish them or like completely tank. But I have a feeling, I have a feeling that he,

like his brain, his mind is just like, like maybe perfect for the show. So I think he's a strong, strong front runner. Very excited. And just to contextualize when he turned up with a t-shirt with, I think he had Alice on his t-shirt.

He had Alice. Yeah. Yeah. When he turned up, it was quite a fancy, I think he had Alice on his t-shirt, didn't he? He had Alice, yeah. Yeah, when he turned, it was quite a fancy screening, I would say, because I was there as well. Really fancy, yeah. Really fancy, and he turned up, there were three episodes being screened.

Sam watched one and then had to go and do a gig. And then I saw the picture of him at the gig after, and he was still wearing the t-shirt, but also he wasn't with Ray, who was also wearing a t-shirt. So it was just completely out of context. Ray was wearing my t-shirt, and then on on the back i had stars and then truck on one of them uh so it it was it was wow you know sometimes like you know i guess i feel like my life whole

life is comedy having done it for way too long in my life and when i'm at um events like that where it's like you know there's this element of it being a bit fancier than i'm used to and all this stuff it's always a lovely reminder when you know people it's mainly comedians show up and it's like when um you see like uh you go to the same school as your cousins and you're kind of like oh god i can't make all my cups hang out jesus christ embarrass me and um then they show up in matching t-shirts with your face printed on them and you go i love them more than anything and this is um it's it's yeah it's it's it's it's a real kind of grounding kind of experience to know someone like sam campbell but yeah i i am so so excited for the series i cannot believe it's gonna be good yes very excited to see all of them um do you think

sam would win though out of that or do you have another prediction i think that he would do the tasks very well i think he's so creative so on the creative task i think he's gonna nail it i think though that i don't know about i just don't know in the studio how him and greg and alex are gonna like either he's going to annoy greg so much or greg is going to be obsessed with him yeah it's only those are the only two options how whimsical is Greg going to be feeling this series well he ate 96 Mars bars in the pandemic so yeah we'll see maybe he stands in for a good good ride we always ask our guests on the podcast to rate their experience on the podcast between one and

five points in the style of the taskmaster. This will be the last time we're doing this for a while. So Rose, please rate your experience on this episode of the podcast. It has to be five stars. Kicking back with my buddy Ed on Zoom, recording on a microphone, precariously leaning on a packet of bran flakes.

It doesn't get better than that. Five points. Thank you so much for coming back on a packet of bran flakes. It doesn't get better than that. Five points. Thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast, Rose Mantefeo. Bye. And bad luck, second to none. Thank you so much to Rose for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast.

We did it guys. I'll be honest, when it was suggested to me that we go back and talk about all of the previous Taskmaster podcast. We did it, guys. I'll be honest, when it was suggested to me that we go back and talk about all of the previous Taskmaster episodes, it was during a lockdown, I think, and I thought, yeah, that'll be a lovely little thing to keep me occupied while this whole pandemic

situation blows over. I hadn't thought ahead and realised quite how much it would infiltrate into normal life on the planet. It was a big undertaking and I'm very, very happy that we did it because I think we got some great stuff out of it. And obviously the podcast rumbles on because we have new Taskmaster coming out very, very soon.

I'm sure imminently nothing next week from us. We're going to take a little break, but we will be back to talk about the new series for sure uh and every time new taskmaster comes out with maybe some other little extra treats so keep your ears to the ground keep watching the feed uh and uh we will be back uh thank you so much to rose matafay for that episode uh thank you so much uh to my wonderful producer daisy uh who has to i mean the amount of admin that actually goes into making all this happen is insane. Because A, you've got to deal with me, big problem. And then you've got to wrangle a different guest every week to talk about Taskmaster and also make sure they watch the episode, which if you've ever met a comedian, you will know basic organizational admin is not their strength.

So thank you very much to Daisy for making all of that happen uh thank you very much for listening uh dedicated taskmaster podcast listeners this is not the end it is merely the beginning of a new era and we will see you very very soon goodbye Disinformation makes it harder to find information you can trust, especially on social media. And it could lead you to make choices that aren't good for you. Learn how to spot it at Canada.ca slash disinformation. A message from the Government of Canada.