Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 33. Alex Horne & Series 11 Champion – S11 Ep.10
Episode Date: May 20, 2021It’s a bumper episode this week! To celebrate the end of Series 11 Ed gets the chance to interview both Alex and the Series 11 Champion. As well as going the episode highlights from the entire serie...s are discussed and there is even some exclusive chat about the next line up!See you all very soon as Taskmaster the Podcast rewind takes you back to Series 3! You can watch Series 11 of Taskmaster each Thursday on Channel 4 at 9pm.Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com Taskmaster the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.
My name's Ed Gamble. I'm the host of the Taskmaster podcast.
I suppose you know that already.
I'm assuming you've listened to the Taskmaster podcast before,
just as I'm assuming that you've watched Taskmaster before, because this
is an episode discussing the final Taskmaster episode of series 11. Yes, it's the final!
How exciting! Always exciting to have a final. Always lovely to wave goodbye to a brilliant cast
who've bonded and become friends across this 10 weeks. What a wonderful series it's been. Very excited
today to chat about that episode. It was a really, really good episode. Again, it's been a brilliant
series. Also, lots of fun to chat to the winner of Taskmaster on this episode. Also, the Taskmaster's
assistant, Alex Horne. We're going to chat to Alex first about the episode, and then we're
going to chat to the brilliant
drumroll. If you've not watched the episode, do not listen
to this. Big spoiler coming up.
Sarah Kendall, the winner
of Taskmaster Series 11.
We're going to be chatting to both of them.
Very excited to do so.
I've really enjoyed this series.
I mean, we're just going to crack on with it,
really. There's not much to say
go back and watch all the episodes of Taskmaster
on all four, they're available
there, as are the bleeps
versions also available on all four
go and check out the Taskmaster
YouTube for extra content, things you
might have missed, if you're already
annoyed that the series is over, if you're
sad, if you're missing it, there may well be
some extra clips that you've not seen on youtube.com forward slash taskmaster go to the taskmaster store
check it out buy some bits but if you are missing taskmaster remember the taskmaster podcast is here
for you we will be back next week more details on that coming up after two brilliant interviews
alex horn and sarah kendall Coming up after two brilliant interviews, Alex Horne and Sarah Kendall.
Alex Horne, the Taskmaster's assistant.
Welcome back to the Taskmaster podcast.
Thank you, Ed.
Why? You seem slightly reticent.
Why the little hmm?
I didn't enjoy your very first Alex, if I'm completely honest, Ed.
What? It felt a bit harsh.
A bit harsh.
It's quite a harsh-sounding name, though, isn't it?
Alex.
No, it's soft.
It's a lovely-sounding name.
Alex.
Well, if you say it like that, but Alex, it's got l and it's got x.
It's up to you how you say it, Ed.
You chose to not say it like that.
Sorry to start like this.
You're an Alexander, are you?
Yes, please.
Alexander James Geoffrey.
Alexander James Geoffrey Horn.
Little Horn.
Do you want to try spelling Geoffrey?
Oh, yeah.
This is good.
Is it?
Well, Alexander James Geoffrey.
Are you going to go with the double J?
That seems a bit fancy.
So is it a G?
Is it G-E-O?
You don't know Hugh and Sheila.
Hugh and Sheila are quite fancy.
Right, so they went with double J.
But it doesn't stop there.
Now carry on spelling Geoffrey.
So you want me to spell the Geoffrey
So J-E-F-F-R-E-Y
No
No
No
You got no letters right
Except for the J
Hang on
No you did
You got them all right
But you got two in the wrong round
Right
It's Geoffrey
No it's J-E-F-F-E-R-Y.
It's Geoffrey in the end.
Geoffrey.
And I spelt it wrong on all my GCSEs.
Well, no, you spelt it right.
Your parents spelt it wrong on your birth certificate
because Geoffrey is not how it's spelt.
Alexander James Geoffrey Horne.
Alexander James Geoffrey Horne.
I love it.
I'm just going to call you Geoffrey from now on.
So welcome to the Taskmaster podcast, Jeffery Horne.
It's been a while since you've been in these parts, Jeffery, but it's lovely to have you back.
Have you enjoyed seeing people's reaction to Series 11?
Yes, I have. Very much so. And I'm sorry I've not done any bonus fact finders.
That's okay. A couple of people asked for them. I'm very happy to not done any bonus fact finders. That's okay.
A couple of people asked for them. I'm very happy to come back
if that's what people want
but I don't know if that's a big if because when I say
a couple of people asked for them back it was
literally a couple of people so that's the majority
the majority haven't clamoured for it
but I've been enjoying the podcast and
yes I've enjoyed
I think it's been a really lovely series
for people's reactions reactions I think they've
increasingly
warmed to all five
definitely I think
I guess this isn't meant
to sound at all negative it was more of a
slow burner than the previous series
is that fair enough
do you think in your I'm not sure
I'm not sure I think people were quite excited
it was people were very excited initially at sure. I think people were quite excited.
It was... People were very excited initially at the announcement.
I think people were very excited that Lee was doing it.
And then people have loved Lee.
But then also, I think it's been a really good series
for people discovering new people
and getting very, very excited about them.
And I think everyone's had a really,
really good few moments on the series.
Absolutely. I guess I meant all five are, really good few moments on the series. Absolutely.
I guess I meant all five are quieter
than all five of the previous series on that first.
When you have Daisy May Cooper and Johnny Vegas
hitting the ground squawking,
it's slightly different to this five.
But I've really enjoyed, yeah, all five of them.
I agree.
I mean, obviously the elephant in the room is Wozniak.
Yes.
But I think he's taken a lot of the heat,
but all five of them, as you say,
have really embedded themselves in people's brains.
Exactly, and all for different reasons as well.
Obviously, yeah, look, you can't get away from the fact
Wozniak dislodged a hemorrhoid on television, so...
No, that's happened.
Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking... I was thinking about it this on television so no that's happened that yeah that i mean i'm thinking
i was thinking about it this morning i think that's quite educational
but in anyone else's arsehole it wouldn't be um but because he's as because he's mike it i think
you wouldn't mind watching that with your kids and explaining what a hemorrhoid is
and yeah because he's a qualified doctor as well and he just sort of very calmly and straightly delivered it
and let everyone know that he dislodged a hemorrhoid.
Yes.
If it was me, for example,
well, for a start, I would have said it when we were filming.
I probably would have pulled my trousers and pants down
and tried to show it to the crew.
Yeah, well, you've got to get it on camera.
I can see your point.
Can I tell you something that happened
that we haven't broadcast from that series?
Please.
A confession from Mike.
He's not a qualified doctor.
That's a rumour he started spreading
on the comedy circuit.
Right.
But he's not.
He left school at 15
and all he's done is built up to this hemorrhoid moment.
So he has learned a lot.
He read a lot of books about medicine, but not a doctor.
Yes.
Well, that's incredible because, I mean, I've been friends with him for many years.
I'm sure we've had multiple conversations where I've referenced him being a qualified doctor.
Oh, it's an elaborate lie.
And he's never corrected me at all.
No, I mean, he has got the qualifications
but they're all forgeries
and he's got the patience
and they're all stooges.
So, yeah,
if you meet anyone who says...
See, now I don't know
if you're telling the truth or not.
No, nor do I.
Well, I don't either. any other bonus facts that you want to give us about the series as a whole before we uh
we move on to this final episode um i don't know about bonus facts but i think uh by the time
anyone hears this they know who has been crowned victor don't they yes
absolutely they'd be very silly if they were listening to this without without knowing that
yeah uh it wasn't a close run thing up until the very end but i'm glad it i'm glad it did tighten
up but um it was yeah for a while i mean sarah built up such a lead but we didn't see it coming
i guess that's my bonus fact, is that us on the production,
we never know before studio who's going to win.
Yeah.
Because it's quite boring to tot it up.
And also, we don't know how Greg's going to judge things.
And also, we don't know who's going to win the studio tasks.
So I don't quite know how she did it.
Well, she won three out of the first four episodes,
which it feels like no one's done that before,
won that many episodes that early.
She's a quality player. She really is.
I mean, obviously in Series 8,
Lou had a bit of a runaway
victory, but no one
really looked like they were going to catch up to her,
did they? So this got pretty
nailed by two. Yeah, I would have gone with
With, but you can have catch up to her.
But I just think it would sound more natural with
With there. No, I think two. i think two you know i know that's why you went for it but your parents can't even spell
jeffrey so let's let's leave language alone for now
price the final prize task of the series let's do it this is a great prize task category
oh and it was a big moment
and I knew this was coming for the whole series
but this is a very unusual moment
because Greg didn't know what was coming
but let's
do we start with Sarah then
well let's start with Sarah
the prize task is a thing that will make you look tough
occasionally a prize task pops up
and I'm jealous of it.
And this is one of those.
Let's start with Sarah.
She's the current leader of the series.
All the pressure's on her to keep up the lead.
And first thing she pulls out of the back pocket
is something she's bought from a camping shop.
A little nerdy backpack.
Yeah, and as sort of,
I guess I am a sort of producer on this show,
so I'm hoping Sarah doesn't get five points here
because she'll have run away with the episode already.
Yeah.
But we can't, Greg won't listen to it.
If I say that to him, mark Sarah down,
he will mark Sarah up.
So I can't say anything.
Yeah.
But I was very relieved that he didn't think that,
because that doesn't make you look tough.
A tough person wouldn't have a survival kit,
wouldn't need a survival kit.
No, that's a prepared person, right?
And I would never say they were tough as such.
No, that's you or me, really, isn't it?
Yeah, we'd have this backpack.
I know what you mean, though,
because I could see a world where Greg gives out five points
because if someone sells it to him properly and says,
being truly tough is being
prepared for the worst
he might go
that's a really good point actually. And she's got all that
hair. Yeah.
I think that does win him over sometimes.
I mean unexpected things
can persuade him.
The shoes someone's wearing.
Really?
He's flighty, Greg.
Fickle.
Oh, so fickle.
No, he does listen to logic, but you're right.
He is persuaded by a good argument.
Yeah.
And I will hint at something,
that somebody in a forthcoming series, the next series,
has better arguments than anyone we've had so far.
But let's talk about that later ed wow well by this point we all know who's in the next series and we've all
got we're all guessing the same person so we can we can talk about that later um so not a great
start from sarah uh lee mac not a great start from him either i think uh he's brought in a coat hanger
Lee Mack, not a great start from him either, I think.
He's brought in a coat hanger.
Here's what I want to know in connection with all of these.
When do you decide what order the prize tasks come in? Did you know that this was going to be the final prize task
before people said what they were going to bring in,
or was it based on what Mike was going to do
that you decided you had to make it the final prize task?
So this is a rare exception that we found out what all five of them wanted to do and Mike's did uh dictate where it went in the
series but I think we yeah to answer your question we do know what people brought in before we decide
where they go in the series in general so we tried to make sure we launch with something that we know
everyone's going to have a strong hand to play or at least a strong thing
to say so you're in
but who knows
we try to make sure everyone's
always got something to say and that they're all good
It's interesting you say
that because I'm not here to pick
bones but I would say
my first prize task and my final
prize task were both probably
two of my most
underwhelming.
Because I had to end the whole series on a long piece of spaghetti.
Yeah.
But I'm not saying that a bad thing is a bad thing, though.
Sometimes a bad thing is a good thing for the programme.
I know you think that.
Well, I do think that.
But I'm talking about myself.
Yes, but I'm not talking about yourself.
I'm talking about my programme.
Yes.
This is the distinction I struggle to make sometimes,
is that what's good for the programme
isn't always what makes me happy.
No, but that sentence is the opposite for me.
Right, okay, good.
I'm glad we got that ironed out.
Yeah.
No, it's true.
I mean, Greg always says his worst tasks
are when all five of you have done something really good.
Yes.
Because he doesn't know what to do there.
He doesn't know where to go.
And he always goes, well, I don't know.
I'm not going to be funny.
So a long piece of spaghetti is he would do that chef's kiss gesture.
Yeah.
And he's good at that gesture.
He is good at that.
So this is, you know, so it ended up that Lee's final prize task of the series was bringing in a coat hanger,
which is an absolutely awful thing.
I mean, I like that he was trying to do something different
by saying he knew someone near him
who put a coat hanger on his head
and he wasn't being mugged.
Yeah, but as you say,
he didn't know it was going to be his climax to the series.
So unlucky there for Lee.
Very unlucky.
It was two point it was two
points for lee uh yes sadly um let's talk about charlotte yeah in another episode she could have
come second or first with her leather cap i think i thought that would appeal to greg quite a lot
because it's sort of retro and silly yeah and hard to make charlotte richie look tough i think
uphill struggle there yeah um given the reputation
she's built across the series that well I say that she's built that Greg has forced upon her
across the last uh 10 episodes of being a children's tv presenter which she reluctantly
accepted yeah I really like she really was just she's so funny and she really was just pushed
into a corner with that and then just watching her be exasperated every time it comes up because
she knows what she's said that's coming up just going like oh god she couldn't deny the evidence
greg wasn't manufacturing that um but that's where the leather cap was lovely because i mean
she could have come joint second there but when somebody has brought in a baseball bat
with a nail through it perfect i mean jamali that sums Jamali up pretty well, I think. Just like straight to the point.
No messing around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's true.
If you meet Jamali with that or Charlotte Rich with a leather cap,
there's only one winner.
And actually thinking about it,
if I met Jamali with a baseball bat with a nail in it and then he put the leather cap on, I'd be less scared.
Yes.
Is it fewer?
Fewer scared? i think it's fewer
i never i never know i never know i'd be fewer scared that's it i'd be fewer scared if jamali
had the leather cap on yeah i think actually yeah the the leather cap actually sort of
takes it gives people fewer scare um Just perfect from Jamali.
I think that just sums up his entire journey on Taskmaster,
stamping on things and then bringing it about with a nail in it.
Solid throw.
Yeah.
And that looked like it was going to win
until Mike popped off his big crown.
So did you know it was coming?
No.
So did you think, what a silly hat? Yes, did you think what a silly hat yes i thought what a
silly hat and why has he done this but then also like i thought maybe he's just chosen to do
something silly for the last episode and like something faux arrogant like wearing a crown
because he he was like i'm definitely gonna win um what he'd also done is worn the same
outfit throughout throughout both series and studio.
Yes.
Which no one has done before.
I didn't even notice that.
That's classic Mike, isn't it?
Yeah, he wore the same thing in every second he was on Taskmaster,
except for that hat.
Yeah.
So that was sort of, oh.
Did Joe Wilkinson not do that?
I don't know.
I think he wore a different suit.
You know, Alex, that this podcast,
we can't go around swinging around facts
like no one's ever done that before.
The people who listen to this will get in contact.
They'll be able to let us know.
And I think there's a chance that Joe Wilkinson
might have worn the same thing,
especially as he told us on this podcast,
he's only got one suit.
Has anyone got in touch yet to tell us we're wrong?
No, that's true.
Nothing has come through yet.
There we go.
So we must be right.
So then Mike popped off his crown
and underneath had a punky haircut.
A punk haircut, like from the 70s.
A punk rock haircut, like from a postcard.
Yeah, and it suited him? Yeah, well from the 70s. A punk rock haircut, like from a postcard. Yeah, and it suited him?
Yeah, well, everything suits him, sort of.
It just looked like another big moustache on his head, didn't it?
I mean, afterwards, we all sort of had a socially distanced goodbye to each other.
We weren't allowed a wrap party.
But there was a lot of lusting after Wozniak from everyone in the crew. Not just the women
obviously. Just everyone.
I thought he looked incredible.
Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
It is annoying, that guy.
Most of the emails we get are saying
Mike Wozniak's fit.
So, going down that road again.
I mean, it is going to kick off when this goes out.
Obviously, we're recording this before it goes out.
I can't wait to see the reaction.
People are going to go mad,
because I think there was a lot of people
had heard there was a moment, right?
And I think a lot of the discussion
was around the moment that happened in episode six.
So I think people now think
the Wozniak moment has happened.
I don't think this won't eclipse the other moment,
but it will top it.
It will be a lovely cherry. Well, it's a lovely haircut on top of the moment isn't it yeah it's
a cherry on the hemorrhoid it's the cherry on the hemorrhoid um yeah he looked amazing um i don't
think um uh if i saw mike wearing a hat that hat i would go why are you wearing that hat i just
think oh mike's where mike's got a hat on mike's doing one of his things are we acknowledging that your phone went ding
no i don't think we are i'm pretty annoyed about it to be honest because i can't work out how to
because my messages are on my computer but i can't work out how to make them be quiet
but i think it is worth acknowledging just so we're absolutely clear which of us dinged
that it's not you who dinged right because. No, because we were told to not ding.
It was a message coming through saying that Joe Wilkinson wore the same suit
for the tasks and for the studio.
Could you read out the full message, Ed?
Yeah.
Are they all coming in now?
Interestingly, that's a text from my girlfriend saying,
you can quit the messaging program.
Right, okay.
So hugely helpful and unhelpful all at the same time.
It was obviously five points for Mike.
You can't, like, Jamali couldn't argue with that.
Although Jamali wouldn't have argued with it anyway, would he?
Always a glint in Greg's eye, though,
when someone brings in something amazing
and Greg has a chance to not give it five points.
Yes.
Because he knows it would be very funny.
But he also knows that the taskmaster audience would not appreciate the humor there people need to be rewarded yeah
it would have been funny though my toughest thing has a um is tried and tested so if i'm
if i'm scared and um you know i've run out of milk and I need to go out and get my night-time milk,
but I can see that there's some street toughs by the newsagents,
you know, wearing leather caps and, you know...
Some street toughs.
Then, if that happens, then I do this.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, wow!
Wow!
Oh!
That's amazing!
Wow! Then it's. That's amazing. Wow.
Then it's Mr Tough Guy time.
TikTok, it's Tough Guy o'clock.
Task one.
Make the best picture of a big, scary dinosaur using this photocopier.
You may not leave the garage.
You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now.
It's your classic big, scary dinosaur photocopier
task so we've been trying to get a photocopier in a task for a long time or at least i have
they're very very hard to get hold of because they're bulky so we don't want one we haven't
got a big house as you know not a lot of storage and most of our storage is damp so we try not to
keep electrical stuff in storage so you have to hire it uh when you hire it they
ask what you're going to do with it right and uh it doesn't help if you say we're trying to make a
big scary dinosaur and also um it kept breaking but i was so during the task it kept breaking and
a man had to come in and keep fixing it but i really like this task yes because i think it's
one you want to do at home. Definitely.
It's a lot of fun.
And there's so many different ways you could go about it as well.
There's so many different options.
And you get that amazing stuff of Lee's commitment to the task.
Yeah.
It's brilliant.
That was classic Lee, I'd say, on that one.
There's some physical stuff, some slapstick.
It took the mick out of me.
Some arse stuff from him.
Some lovely arse business.
My face was the dinosaur's arse, I think.
Yes, it was.
It was horrific.
His was absolutely horrific.
Could have got the five points, I think.
It was a big, scary dinosaur.
That's in my notes.
The performance was great.
I said it deserved five.
For me, that was probably my favourite.
And I think Charlotte might have said
it looks like the human centipede.
And I completely agree.
It had that sort of body horror vibe.
How often that is referenced in Taskmaster,
considering we're still saying it's a family show.
Yes.
Yeah.
Let's go to Mike.
Mike, who only got one point.
Yes.
Now, interesting stuff here.
Say Mike and Sarah's points were reversed on this one.
If Mike had got five and Sarah got one,
he would have won the series by four points.
Interesting.
Even if he got three and she got three,
there would have been level pegging at the end.
So this is another example of how we could fix it and we don't fix it yes and very interesting that you
say that because when you said if the points were reversed i could imagine a scenario where they
were reversed because mike got one i'm surprised mike got one because it was small but he took a
different route to everyone else he didn't do
loads of body parts and it looked like quite an interesting like shadow puppet thing and i could
see greg enjoying that on another day yeah but like you say it was small and it did have to be
big big yes so that i think that's what dragged him down i think uh it was and scary actually
and a dinosaur yeah so i think actually it was honorable greg did the right thing greg did what
he had to do.
Yeah.
And sometimes
you're not there to make friends.
You're there to judge
well you know
the role.
And Sarah
so Sarah's was
Sarah's was big.
You can't deny that.
Sarah's was definitely big.
Yeah.
I liked it.
I liked it.
Yeah.
She also shot me with a staple
and I'm surprised
we managed to show that
in the episode.
Well it was clearly an accident
and she was clearly extremely remorseful.
Yeah. One of those moments
there where you think
centimetre to the left or up and down
and I'll be blind in one eye.
So Sarah's I think was
strong. It wasn't my favourite.
I think it was a very
Sarah thing in that she sort of
kind of nailed it and just got
it out of the way and did it and there was no chaos involved apart from really blinding you.
Yeah, yeah, she did what she had to do and she's often done that and that's why at this stage she
was almost unreachable. Yeah, this is one of my favourite Jamali moments in the whole series
when he decides he's going to put Gregreg's head uh as the head of the dinosaur
with his phone with his phone but then um tells everyone that he thought it might be daro brian
yeah because he could have won with that thing because he couldn't leave the garage
so he's done really a clever thing there using using well again i think he uses his phone
on multiple occasions in the series uh to record things to certainly record uh the
metronome thing and also to record uh the months uh the thing for the uh the months of the year
he's a different generation to uh lee for example so you that generation does automatically reach
for their phone i suppose um we were talking to somebody yesterday about it whether in normal life
you have your phone on you and when you have
to do something you get your phone out and work out how to do it.
And there's nothing saying you can't do that in
Taskmaster but it's sort of not the done thing.
Do you think?
Totally. I'd say on multiple occasions
when I was doing it there were moments where I thought
well I can just get my phone out to do that
and then it's just
not very fun to watch.
Not the way Jamali did it it was always clever and very good. Yeah. So I think it's just not very fun to watch. Not the way Jamali did it.
It was always clever and, yeah, very good.
Yeah.
So I think it's okay to have your phone,
not necessarily on you, but on a hand
because, yeah, there are fun things you can do with a phone.
And this was one of them.
This was definitely one of them.
And, yeah, it was a shame that he thought Dara was the host
because it's one of Greg's's spots and uh you pressed the button
there but it's nice as well because you could see there's been a wonderful developing relationship
with jamali and greg across the whole series that's actually been a little bit of a subplot
um and if you if you if you look for it you can find it where initially jamali is very
confrontational and greg doesn't like that and then Jamali continues to be confrontational and Greg eventually
has to back down and begins to respect
Jamali for that
and Jamali's been doing better and better in the course of
the series because of that as well and then there
was this awkward moment with the Dara O'Brien thing and Greg
genuinely looked quite wounded because they've
developed a relationship but it was patched up
fairly quickly. It was teacher and pupil
stuff and I
think if this had been episode one,
it might have ruined the whole series for everyone.
You think I look like Dara O'Brien? A little bit.
You've got the same vibe. I just thought you and I
had started to grow closer together and then you dropped that bomb.
This was ages ago. This was before our blushing
relationship, innit? This was pre...
You know. Alright.
Are you okay? it was an innocent mistake
let me ask you this before we move on yeah what is my name greg davis good task two
scientifically work out how much alex's feet and head weigh you may not use the internet
most accurate answer wins you have 20 minutes your time starts now so straight away you've got
an example of stopping people using their phone because it wouldn't be fun at all if people use their phone
here um even though you told them scientifically work it out and the best way of doing that is
look up some science well yeah we want people to look up the science in their heads because this
is one where hopefully you think you know how to weigh things without weighing them or things that
can't be we all know there
must be a way of doing this and lee knew the exact way of doing this lee was very amazing
yeah really good i think it turned out he'd done something like it on do ducks quacks echo duck
quacks don't echo yeah so i think he'd got lucky that he'd done it recently enough to remember the
science uh this one definitely struck me that you would have been all over this.
You would have been really manhandling me.
Oh, yeah.
When you say I would have been all over it, I would have been manhandling you.
I wouldn't have done the right thing, I don't think, at all.
I would have had a lot of fun with the task.
Yes, yes.
I mean, you would have been soaring feet off.
This was obviously filmed before COVID
because you wouldn't be able to get close to me during covid no so they all filmed this before covid that's that's lucky that there
wasn't a situation where you had to have someone sort of yeah well we filmed nearly all of this
before covid but the only bits we hadn't filmed uh before covid was the team tasks which you saw
were quite specifically distanced,
and the location task in the airfield.
So we got pretty lucky with our timing,
because I think things, you know, you miss,
I do miss them being able to handle me.
Yeah.
Well, that's the reason you started the show, isn't it?
Well, it's definitely helped my confidence
about being touched.
I really enjoyed Lee writing on my leg in his one that was really
nice it's great it's just that lee knows lee knows what to do to add little moments to it doesn't he
he knows how to layer it and make it chaotic at the end so hard with the pen though i'm quite
sensitive on my thighs i think that's really important sometimes but certainly what I've tried to do is when I was
doing tasks is try and think of the end image rather than how to get the task done so try and
make something horrific or weird come out at the end yeah and you're right he's a very good example
of someone who always added value but still tries to do the task well because it's not just about
trying to be funny you've got to try to do the task well but yeah it does help if you try to be funny but you don't need to
yes exactly yeah i don't think everyone should but yeah no he definitely i mean he smashed this
i thought it was it was absolutely brilliant uh and still was very funny with it um mike so close
to having a good idea so close to being there again he's he's let it slip through his fingers
a good idea so close to being there again he's he's let it slip through his fingers very poorly executed though yes but he had the right idea he had basically had the same idea as
lee but just got it completely the wrong way around and took you outside and blocked you in a
bath yeah he knew to dunk but amazingly he did worse than sarah kendall who just got some fish
fingers that although i liked her logic when she went to get meat that was the same size as my meat
i thought that was very interesting yeah i yeah i think i mean she actually did okay i mean mike's
mike being you know this it all makes sense now of course he's not a man of science no no he's
been making it up so this is why he asked you to get your feet out of the water and then submerge
your feet and then to see how far the water had gone up but of course as soon asked you to get your feet out of the water and then submerge your feet
and then to see how far the water had gone up.
But of course, as soon as you submerge your feet,
your entire top half of your body comes out of the water.
So it was lower down than it was when it started.
The container was the problem.
Yeah, it wasn't quite big enough.
Freezing cold day, but incredibly hot water.
So painful for all the wrong reasons.
You really do go through a lot.
Alex, you were dressed as, was it a Roman centurion?
Yes.
I mean, quite often you do things for, I'd say,
an obscure and poor pun.
Is that what was going on there?
Do you remember the task?
I don't know which series.
Quite upset I said poor pun, aren aren't you just trying to move on no i'm going to give you
an example of something it's i don't think they're poor puns i think they're just obscure things that
i think are funny that no one else does and especially greg doesn't there's a series where
they had to work out what was in a box and but only by touching it and And there was a hat and bra,
and the hat and bra were wet.
Yes.
And there was also a model of David,
the statue of David.
Yeah.
So it was David Hattenborough.
David Hattenborough, yeah.
But was that part of the task,
they had to work that out?
Yeah, I think so.
And they were wet.
And Greg asked me why they were wet,
and I said, well, because it's wet David Attenborough.
And the sort of joke was that I thought he wasn't Sir David Attenborough.
It was wet David Attenborough.
And I'd always got confused between Sir and wet.
But yeah, that's, I mean, to make that work,
I think you'd have an extra half an hour on the show.
You can't fit that into the edit.
That your backstories, you get mixed up between Sarah and Will.
Yeah, I think I said,
yeah, well, there's wet Chris Hoy in there.
There's wet Andy Murray.
And Greg genuinely hates jokes like that.
Greg just goes,
why would you say that?
Why would you say that?
We're trying to entertain people.
So on this occasion,
I think let's leave this mysterious
let's say there is a very important
reason why I was dressed as a centurion
and the listeners need to work it out
okay good that's interesting we'll get email in
if you think you know the reason
me?
email in now and tell us
people listening
email in and I'll get Alex
I mean Alex will need to tell me the right answer after this
so we know the right answer but you don't ever want it
revealed right? No thank you
okay so you don't need to tell me actually and don't email in
do email in
I always remember the
do email in
when on our series
do email in
do email in
how did Charlotte measure uh feet and head
uh well initially um this was my favorite this is probably my favorite way charlotte's tried to do
a task and tried because you know you always look for a loophole in a taskmaster task uh you always
look for the clever way of doing it um charlotte tried to do that she thought she'd found a clever
way around it um the first thing she did was ask you how much your head weighed.
Ah, yes.
Yes.
No one knows how much their head weighs, do they?
No, I don't think so.
No.
I think Charlotte just did quite a lot of guessing, really.
Yeah.
I think she ended up estimating and did it fairly well.
At one point, she just wobbled her head and feet around
to compare them to each other.
So it was just sort of like wobbling her feet
and then shaking her head around.
Which I really liked.
But yeah, it was a bit of guesstimation.
But then Jamali also did a bit of guesstimation.
Jamali did an awful attempt, wasn't it?
Well, he guessed your head weighed 40 kilograms.
Yeah, because that's what the scales went up to.
And my whole body was on the scale, I think, pretty much.
Yeah, I mean, but it wasn't that he thought your head weighed 40 kg.
It's just that he couldn't be bothered.
Yes.
And that's fair enough.
That is fair enough.
And it's fair enough.
You know, he's got his brand and I'm glad he's sticking to it.
Why would he care how much my head weighed?
But if you go down that, if you start going down that road have you had contestants in the past who've initially on like day one said or been acting like why why are we doing any of this
what's yes yes we have uh someone in series 12 who we i can i can tell you now should we
or do you want to talk about this later on?
I mean, yeah.
Tell me now because I think it's the same person I would have guessed for the earlier.
Well, it's not actually.
Is it not?
So the logical lady that we've got
is Victoria Corrin Mitchell.
Of course.
Who approaches everything...
And I love this.
We're in Series 12 there
and we've had, whatever, 60 people.
And she's different to anyone we've had before.
Really approaches things with a logic
that Greg can't cope with.
But threw herself into every single task.
It was Alan Davies who on the first day,
he remembers thinking
he was in the caravan doing something
and he just thought,
maybe this isn't for me.
Maybe.
Everyone said it was going to be be fun but i don't think
this this seems mad and then he got into it luckily and it was great he was yeah but he said
it is interesting because on day one you're thrust into this little world and things are out of your
control and i think you know a lot of people come into the show having been in control of their careers for a long time.
Not me.
No.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, that's great.
I'm very excited about the next series.
Yeah, you should be.
Get a fun mix.
So, Sarah sort of had the... She had the right idea, I think,
but then panicked and started grabbing watermelons and fish fingers and meat. I'm not sure She had the right idea, I think, but then panicked and started grabbing watermelons
and fish fingers and meat.
I'm not sure she had the right idea.
She had a good idea.
Yeah.
But she seemed to have a good method
and then used a completely different one.
She sort of backed out of it.
The fish fingers was crazy.
Yeah.
It's one way, if you just saw the footage
without hearing anything or knowing why they
were doing it if you just saw somebody drawing the outline of someone's foot and then filling
that outline with fish fingers i like that you wouldn't know well you'd know it was taskmaster
but you'd be hard pressed to guess what the task was yeah i mean that is i think that's your legacy
now alex that if someone saw someone drawing a foot and then filling it with fish fingers
they would immediately go that that's Dallas Master.
Well obviously, yeah. Oh God.
Not that again.
So it was
five points for Lee Mack.
Absolutely smashed it. Four points
for Charlotte Ritchie. Some nice guessing.
Three points for Sarah Kendall, fish finger feet.
Two points for Mike Wozniak.
Again, after the great
start with the punk haircut.
One point, then two points. And then
one point for Jamali
Maddox. I thought I could
just go, oi! Remember that
joke? No.
How does that joke go? It's okay.
It's a joke where somebody says,
have you ever had your boobs weighed?
And then you go, no, and they go, wait!
I can do that with my head if you want.
Yeah, that's what I was going for.
Also, not everybody can do that joke, just to make that clear.
Right.
Close friends.
Task three.
It is the final pre-recorded task, but the final team task as well.
Direct your team into the red circle.
You must stay on
your chair at all times you may only issue one instruction of three words every 30 seconds
fastest to get one teammate into the circle wins your time starts now i mean love lovely stuff this
is one of those ones where obviously you had to film under covid conditions but being restricted
by covid conditions mean that you come up with things yeah like this and it's a really it's a
really fun one yeah i i didn't mind the restrictions in terms of come up with things like this. And it's a really fun one.
Yeah, I didn't mind the restrictions in terms of coming up with the tasks
because it just means you've got another thing to factor in.
And that's fine.
Little bonus fact for you there.
Lee cut his trousers in half just before the task because it was so hot.
So he just lopped off the...
He's the one who's played fastest and loosest with his task outfit.
It's quite regularly just not wearing it.
I know. And I didn't mind that.
Because as long as it's only one person who does that,
then that's their thing, I suppose.
Yes.
Someone could say, I'm going to wear something different every task.
Yeah, true.
What I would say about Lee's is he picked very badly initially.
Even though it's a great outfit, it was a leather jacket and a helmet so it's
quite bad if you're filming in the summer months
so you can't begrudge him that
the weather of lockdown one
we were just at the end of that it was so hot
yes oh dear poor Lee
oh dear oh dear
really enjoyed this task because
so we always choose it
randomly who gets which role
if there are different roles within the team.
So it was a toss of a coin.
But at one point, it looked like Jamali was going to be left
entirely by himself.
But of course, because you can't give anyone
any different directions, right?
So it has to be only one teammate to get across there.
So I don't know why Sarah thought Charlotte would be be i guess she didn't know either of them at
that point did she but charlotte is not the best choice for that to get her going no it's a good
example of a team toss we don't know whether it's an advantage or disadvantage to have three or two
probably disadvantage to have three in this in this scenario three people in your team except
you can just abandon one of them and yeah focus one. But I think, unfortunately, Sarah was too nice there and felt sorry for Jamali.
And had to activate him.
Yeah, but by activating him, she sent him into the nettles
and she made everyone's life worse.
But it's another one where Mike sort of stole the show slightly
by doing a somersault in a bunker.
I mean, I don't know how...
I've never seen anyone move like Mike moves.
He's like an Italian clown.
You just imagine him sort of as a troubadour
travelling around Europe
doing an entertaining clown show for everyone.
He's floppy and strong.
Floppy and strong, that's exactly what he is.
He's like a muscle man,
but also one of those toys that you press at the bottom
and then he goes...
Yeah.
I mean, Lee and Mike did that really well they oh yeah but they were a great team across the
whole series i actually think they did really really well there's a couple of failures but
i think they worked together very well for people who'd not met until that day yes there's a lot of
pressure being in the team of two because you there's no quiet but you know you you have to pull your weight yes i mean
and that's really a legacy of tim key and frank skinner um that was a you know the other three
were just giggly giggly children yeah but tim had to really step up for that that's a high pressure
suddenly he's with one of his heroes comedy heroes and frank is who's this guy um but they
were they were a similar team, I'd say,
Lee and Mike, Tim and Frank.
Definitely.
Similar dynamic.
But they really won that one by miles.
And I think Greg reflected that well with the points.
So they got five points each,
whereas the team of three got two
because they were five times quicker, slower.
Yeah, and I mean, obviously the main,
the idea of this task, I guess, when you came up with it was that when people have blindfolds on and they have obviously the main, the idea of this task I guess when you came up with it
was that when people have blindfolds on and they
have to move around they do look
silly, especially Charlotte
like her whole
body position changed and she just turned into
like a little Muppet character
and equally it is interesting to
you know to have some of your
faculties taken away and see how you ding
cope
how did you get on with the messages off to have some of your faculties taken away and see how you, ding, cope.
How did you get on with turning the messages off?
Well, I did it.
And then I've got a voicemail now.
So that decided to happen.
I like it.
I would encourage it.
There was a moment where Sarah said to Jamali to be brisk, to briskly walk.
And I think it really sums Jamali up that that's what he
thinks brisk is. Yeah
he was upright
and sort of quite powerful
but not brisk. Yeah not brisk
like deliberate but
He's a big strong man Jamali
he's a presence and I liked his task outfit
by the way I liked the black
Yes. I thought it was
quite a statement. I know Jamali and that's not a task outfit that is his outfit. Yeah the way, I like the black. Yes. I thought it was quite a statement. I know
Jamali and that's not a task outfit. That is
his outfit. Yeah, that is his outfit.
He doesn't have any other outfits.
He's made a decision early on.
I'm quite jealous of people like that. I've got a good friend who just wears
blue jeans and a white t-shirt always.
And that sounds like the Fonz.
But it really suits him
and he's never thinking about it.
Yeah.
Turn around.
Run!
Studio task, Alex.
A spectacle. We went for a spectacle.
A real spectacle.
And I know you're tickled by this sort of thing you love a big reveal at the end
with the
with the costumes
well this was
real credit to
Andy Devonshire
the director I think
yeah
the vision for this
because
I didn't know
if we'd be able
to pull it off
because again
this is the second
episode filmed on the
day
it's quite a big
prop there
those doorways
that had to fall
over at exactly
the right spot
we can't redo it
and it all comes down to this and if a studio task fails we can't do it again and if yes if
it's a final one in the series that's a potentially massive damp squib but i thought it looked great
when the thing fell down and and it's obviously it's initially you'd think it would be funnier
if they were all wearing a different funny outfit and then when you see it, it's absolutely
funnier that they're all llamas
Yeah, and I think it's something bonding
that all five of them are llamas
they came in as different
people, but by the end they're just llamas
Especially as Sarah messed it up so much
The victory
is about to come for Sarah and she still
manages to screw up the studio task
and have it on completely the wrong way round
with the tail dick and the head all whisked up.
Yeah, very slow.
I mean, she could have thrown the series away.
It was close.
Yeah.
If she hadn't done such a big scary dinosaur.
But that's exciting, right?
That's what you want really you want the potential
that someone's going to throw the series away you don't you don't want it to be easy street all the
way i don't want it to be snatched from people either because that would feel so horrible
i'm no noel was really anxious that we were going to snatch it away from no fielding
because he was really far in advance and he thought well this is it's the sort of program
where they will suddenly say on this task the winner swaps point numbers
with someone else.
You don't do that though.
There's got to be some
fairness.
I thought a great victory for Charlotte here.
I really like that she won
the studio task because she did
not win the series by any stretch of the imagination.
She was consistently
bottom was she?
Pretty solidly bottom, I'd say, yeah.
Not in this episode, but yeah, she's had some pretty bad episodes.
She was last throughout the whole series,
because in the first episode she only got five points in the whole episode,
and from then on she was last throughout the series.
Yes.
So I'm glad she can put a llama outfit on quickly.
Yeah, no, it was a nice end for her.
And, of course, the victory for Sarah Kendall,
a deserving champion, a classic Taskmaster champion in many ways.
You're displaying your tail proudly. Why not?
This isn't, like, degrading or anything.
No, no, no. Greg, is there any possibility
we could stand here as long as possible? Hey, listen,
I just want the casting directors to have a good look.
You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.
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Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes.
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Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.
Shall we quickly mention the other three people in Series 12?
We've mentioned Alan Davies and Victoria Corrin-Mitchell.
Yes, I feel it's very exciting.
I think it's always an exciting moment when you announce the new contestants straight after the series.
And I think people are going to be very excited
about this line-up.
So we've talked about Alan,
unless there's anything else you want to say about Alan.
No, no, no.
He's a great get.
Yes, he's a great get.
By the way, there's a lovely little reveal video
after the episode tonight,
which I don't know if you've seen it.
I've not seen it.
It's a very nice moment, and we're trying to hint at a narrative,
which is true, that goes on between Greg and me,
which hopefully people will enjoy.
There's a little moment which we filmed in the studio
between the shows, at the end of one of the shows
where I'm sweeping up.
I hope people have enjoyed that
because we might try to do more of that sort of thing.
Great.
VCM, of course.
Very exciting to have her.
She is one of the most requested, I'd say.
Yeah, an interesting one
because I think she would say that she's not a comedian.
But I think Charlotte Ritchie would say she's not a comedian.
We don't just have comedians.
We have just funny people, I would say,
who work in comedy.
And she definitely works in comedy.
And she is a funny person, but she's not a stand-up.
But she's someone who can hold her own.
And she's also our first poker millionaire.
Yeah, sure.
So that's an intriguing prospect, I think.
Yeah.
A lot of people always ask for,
they want her and David to do it together,
but you sort of feel like pre-established relationships
are not as fun as creating your own.
Yeah, I shy away from couples.
It does get requested,
because I think it would take the shine off the other three people.
I think automatically those two people are in sharper focus.
Although having five couples do a one-off could be quite funny or it could be a mess yeah i think that'd be a mess correct okay good um but very excited to see what victoria does
uh we've got guz guz khan another often requested person i mean no one ever people often guess the
next lineup but never get it right. Thankfully.
But Guz is great.
People should watch Man Like Mubeen.
It's a very good sitcom that he writes and acts in.
And he's someone I think we've caught
at exactly the right time.
We got lucky as his career is about to
rise meteorically.
He's already up
but he's going to be even more up.
Yeah, I'm very excited to see him.
I'm excited to see all of them. Desiree, of course.
Desiree is a real
star of the series, just to
reveal that now. I didn't know very well.
I'd only done a couple of things with her.
And I really got to know her.
Because I love that I come out of this
having spent a lot of time with five new people.
All five people.
And the five of them, or five people and
the five of them
so the last one is Morgana Robinson
who
is a chameleon
and a comedian in that she
is rarely herself
and is in this
you have to be in Taskmaster but is also
a force of nature but the five
of them have bonded as well as any of the five.
Their WhatsApp group is as strong as yours, Ed.
The chickpeas?
The chickpeas.
As strong as Series 4's WhatsApp,
which was probably the benchmark of WhatsApp groups.
But Series 5...
Series 4 got jealous that Series 9 all went out for an afternoon tea at Sketch,
so they did the same thing.
Yes.
But Series 12 are looking like they could be the ones to beat in the future.
They're a really good group, competitive but funny.
And, yeah, it's a really joyful series, this one.
I think because it was purely in lockdown.
It started in lockdown and ended in lockdown.
So we had all our fun together.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a good one. And that will be out in lockdown. We started in lockdown and ended in lockdown. So we had all our fun together. Yeah.
Yeah, it's a good one.
And that will be out in September.
September, so exciting.
A very, very strong lineup.
Well, as they all are, Alex.
Alex Horne, thank you very much for coming back.
Again, softer, please.
Horne.
Lovely.
Thank you very much for coming uh back on the
taskmaster podcast you will be forced to come on again uh after this uh because you've got the goss
you've got the facts of course we do now have to get you to rate the taskmaster podcast experience
between one and five points again five thank you it took you ages to get to that but i'll take it
thank you very much alex horn goodbye oh goodbye
alex horn there thank you as always alex for popping in uh and we'll be hearing more from
alex uh in upcoming episodes of the podcast uh Some bonus fact finder sections, I think.
He said he's up for doing more of those, so we'll look forward to that.
But now, it's the coronation.
Sarah Kendall has been crowned.
Let's talk to her.
I wonder if she's feeling good about the whole situation.
Sarah Kendall, let's chat to her now.
Champion Taskmaster Series 11.
Sarah Kendall.
Let's chat to her now.
Champion Taskmaster Series 11.
Welcome to the winner of Series 11 of Taskmaster.
She already doesn't look that happy to be called the winner.
She looks quite embarrassed by the whole thing.
It's Sarah Kendall.
I just speed watched the final episode and I just did so badly in every task.
It's so bad to have won because I had created such a lead.
Yeah.
That they couldn't close the gap on my lead, but I failed so abysmally.
No matter how hard you tried to throw away that lead in the final episode,
there was no way of catching you.
Oh, I like the idea that there was no way of catching you oh i like the
idea that that was all done by design um i just every single task my brain had just left the
building and i was just watching it just going oh my god oh my god and then to win on the back of
such a weak episode it just you know it feels wrong it feels so morally wrong. Did you realise going into it that it would be very, very hard for anyone to catch you?
No.
No, because what you're really banking on is that everyone will continue to perform in a similar way,
so they can't close the gap.
But then if one of them, like if any of them, like if Lee or Mike had had an outstanding episode,
which sometimes people do, sometimes they just smash it,
then I just assumed that that was going to happen.
And I also sort of thought that there would be some sort of design
by the producers to make it that kind of tense.
But no, there was no Machiavellian design there.
It's impossible for them to design it, isn't it?
Because it's so reliant on Greg just doing whatever he wants
on a day-to-day basis that it's impossible for them to work out
what's going to happen. Because we always get asked that uh because you know even if someone's
terrible in a series and they're having an awful series some there's always one episode where it
all comes together for the bad person and they win an episode and it's amazing and like heroic
and victorious but that is just luck yeah yeah exactly it's all and it's all those sporting narratives that we love like eric the eel and like all those times when the outsider just
for no apparent reason just completely slays the competition yeah which is you know the reason why
you tune in really but um i just for i remember recording that episode and failing so badly on
my backpack.
And I thought, oh, there's no way I'm going to win this now.
And then each task, I was just, particularly the golf course one,
I knew that was coming up and I was like, oh, my Lord.
Oh, my Lord.
I mean, let's just talk about this because we're not going to talk about the episode in order in detail because we've done that with you before.
But we've got loads of little highlights since last time you're on the podcast to talk about let's just dive straight into the having
having to guide charlotte and jamali across the across the golf course yeah i know i yeah and i
think we talked about this last time about how when you have a really bad idea and then you panic
because you know it's a bad idea but all you can do is double down on
your bad idea because you're so busy going i know i'm failing so i feel like it's like america and
vietnam it's like they knew that the strategy wasn't working they were being internationally
humiliated so all they could do was double down on what they were doing in vietnam because they
had to keep going yeah every task i sort of go oh that's America and Vietnam yeah I mean that one particularly was you know just getting people to run wildly across the plane
that really felt like Vietnam and then I was going turn well that was good I mean Greg gave you
credit for that as he should have done because that was turning one word into quite a detailed
command right so you didn't have to give any degrees it
was just a turd and then you stopped saying stop i thought that was quite impressive but when you
just panicked and got charlotte to run just shouted run i had no idea why you did that and
then her run she looked like a a muppet she looked like genuinely looked like one of the
muppets because she was sort of hunched forward and her arms were sort of like flappy like a
puppet and she just went for it but then i was thinking you know but have you ever done that
thing where it's the middle of the night and you're walking through a room and then someone
switches on a light and then you're in this weird position that you move in total darkness it's how
you protectively move through the dark yeah and it's like crash with your arms outstretched and then someone switches on
and then you stand upright and put your arms down she was doing that run that you do and
then someone switches on the light you go what the fuck am i doing what the fuck what am i doing
but lee's strategy was so great he just went uphill left like really specific yeah i just i don't know and i forgot
i had forgotten about jamali i just went oh jamali oh my god like i've left you over i'm so sorry
because i i think that was the right thing to do because it would have been way more complicated
to try and maneuver both of them to it you only need to get one of them on there anyway right so
it was i think you were right to leave Jamali on there.
I think you might have picked the wrong person
to get to the red dot in terms of ability
of following the instructions and completing tasks.
You weren't to know at the time,
but Jamali was the one to go with.
In hindsight, yeah, maybe I should have.
But then I think when...
But I think he was even facing the
wrong way from the get-go like i think that's why i chose charlotte because i think i was going to
have to spend time getting him to turn around so i just went charlotte because she was facing in
the right direction run charlotte run what a trust exercise you cannot see anything and you're just
told to run yeah Yeah, absolutely terrifying.
And of course, you've got the episode title in there,
Activate Jamali.
Activate Jamali.
Like it was a big robot.
Yeah, or like I'm some sort of puppet master
with people all over the globe that can be activated at any...
All I've got to do is press this button.
And shout run.
You don't know what they're doing but you can activate them
it's very frightening for them actually
yeah
there's loads of things to catch up on though Sarah
I mean we talked about guiding Charlotte Jabali terribly
in that final task.
Also in this episode, you nearly blind Alex.
I blowned.
You nearly blowned him with a staple gun.
Yeah, I did.
I mean, that was just a classic is this thing loaded moment.
I mean, this is like the saddest story
when you read in the news, is this thing loaded moment i mean this is like the saddest story when you read in
the news when is this thing loaded and then i absolutely i mean i was but then there was another
part of me that just i was just so amused by it i mean exactly it is funny pointing a staple gun
at someone and just firing one off i mean that will never not amuse me and also because it's
alex you know yeah yeah exactly and the fact he was fine he was
sort of fine with it and he was like oh no you just hit me on the top lip um which still sounds
painful i think most other people would be like you hit me on the top lip he was like no it was
fine don't worry about it it's also because the lips are just a bit more sensitive than all the
other skin on the face yeah yeah that extra bit funny i mean that or an eyelid i would also
have accepted either end of his dick something like that yeah that would have been perfect yeah
i forgot him in the penis that would have been the sweet spot that would have been end of i think
that's the mind drop you can just leave and go i'm not filming anything else i'm assuming i've
won everything forever i've stapled alex horn's penis from a safe distance.
I was pretty happy with that dinosaur, actually.
The dinosaur was really strong, I thought.
I thought everyone's dinosaur had something to say for it.
I thought Charlotte's one with her own head in its mouth.
I was like, that's... That was my favourite.
That was the little stroke of genius.
It was, wasn't it?
Really good.
Underscored by Greg as per.
You also, things we've got to catch up on uh you licked some yogurt thinking it might be poo yeah uh the the yogurt tower task you were like
well it might be poo it might be yogurt let's double check in the only way you could possibly
do this yeah that's always lick the possible poop look i'll be honest with you that
is um a gag that i frequently used when my kids were young and they'd have chocolate all over
their fingers and i'd loudly say is that chocolate or poo and then i'd lick their finger so i was
doing old gear if i'm being completely honest yeah no that's fine i mean it's always a shame
to see people doing material on task i'm'm so sorry. I was doing parenting gear.
And you opened with that for a while, didn't you?
You used to come out on stage with chocolate all over your hands. And I have to meet a person beforehand, dip their fingers in shit.
I mean, I got very sick.
Yeah.
Has that joke with your kids ever backfired?
Has it ever been poo?
No, it's never been shit.
I mean, I'm not going to put my children's shit in my mouth.
No, look, I knew that.
That was slightly cheeky doing a thing there.
But, yeah.
Hey.
It's good stuff.
It's all good stuff.
It's all good stuff.
Good gear is good gear.
That's right.
I'm not going to apologise, okay?
Oh, there's a bit of yogurt in the number two.
Is there?
Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait.
Is it yogurt or is it poo?
It's yogurt.
Congratulations.
Now, we've done some statistics here at the Taskmaster podcast there.
Okay, yeah.
And I don't know if you're going to like it.
I'm going to love it.
I already, like,'m in, go talk to it.
So you won Taskmaster with 158 points.
That's correct.
Correct.
You beat Mike by four.
Like you say, you were that huge lead that you gained in the first half of the series.
You really didn't enjoy having that.
So you just started frittering it away for the rest of it.
Since Taskmaster has gone to 10 episodes,
so I believe probably since series six,
that's the least number of points that someone has won a series with.
How do you feel about that?
I did not expect that sentence to go in that direction.
This is what the producer of the Taskmaster podcast has told me you know i've not checked
i can't remember how many points i got i genuinely don't know but apparently it's the least number of
points that someone has won with i honestly was bracing myself for the following sentences
that's the biggest lead anyone has ever had and that's the highest aggregate score that and to give you any idea of what it's
like living inside my head and thinking great things will happen and then when reality butts
up against that yeah how do i feel about that yeah how do you feel about it a win is a win i mean
you know i don't think you mean that i think you're really upset about that. I don't. I'm a little hurt. I'm trying to be okay with it.
Look, I don't know.
Oh, jeez.
That's, oh, that's, I did not expect that.
Okay.
Well, look, but then maybe that means that I was in a particularly poor batch.
You know, like if I.
Well, I mean, that would suggest that.
I mean, if so, we've also got this information.
I think the producer of this podcast really got it in for you because she sent me a long list of stats uh to chip away at your confidence go um so this is
from this is from an email from the producer she has won with the least amount of points since the
series went to 10 apps looking at the scores after episode 4 she never gets more than 16 points
on four episodes she only scores 12 points yeah so again i think that if anything that's showing what appalling competition i had
that's what i'm getting from this you definitely had uh some i mean charlotte obviously i think
was trying her hardest but it didn't come together for her um you definitely had some
rogue elements i would say both mike and lee were willing to commit to things even if they knew
that they were going to reduce their points and then jamali just couldn't have cared less really
and just wanted to stamp on stuff yeah i think jamali well the way i'm trying to spin all these
statistics in my head is that it just reflects so much worse on the people who lost because yes this
is all true but i won which just really
meant that i was the best of a shit bunch so that means that there are four other people who should
be much more embarrassed than me but they wouldn't be would they i think everyone went in there which
is why it was a great series i love this series everyone went in there with different aims and i
think your aim was eyes on the prize get it done get it won there is another aspect okay yeah all right fair yes
that is fair you were very funny sarah don't don't get me wrong but what was very funny about you is
clearly how focused you were on winning yeah but then and how like serious and you just wanted to
do it and you sort of threw gritted teeth yeah but then look if i'm if i'm really going to pop
the bonnet on this program i think i think that should be the name of the podcast it should be called pop the bonnet
yeah um i think that what this show like when i watch the show and really get into it it's so
they're employing people who are comedians and funny people and most funny people know what's
funny about them because we we know our strength and we lean into that quite heavily and we hone that through our stage acts
and how we portray how you know the way our careers have panned out and i know that about
myself i know that i'm not a rebel i know that i'm not um uh i'm not going to be the person who
smashes stuff up i'm not like i know that the thing that is amusing about me is my seriousness so of course i'm going to lean on that very heavily because that's actually
who i am and that is the thing that i think is amusing so i think like what you're saying is
quite true but i also think that all of us kind of know our comedy spirit animal definitely yes
so if you know that your spirit animal is that you're far too intense and you take everything
far too seriously like you are ron burgundy then you go and go and do that because that's why they
employed you bring bring that knowledge of who you are comedically to the show so i knew that
the way that i would you know that who i was going to be on this show was actually who i am
comedically which is i do take everything far too seriously.
And it's tiring and I don't lead a good life.
I'm generally not happy.
There's a lot of
blowback on this.
That is the best excuse
I've ever heard anyone give
for being creative but also competitive.
And I'm
going to use that when people ask me
about the series I did.
I'm going to say, well, the thing about the series I did yeah what are you going to say well the thing is I was you know leaning into my
comic persona because that's why they hired me
so you know I was actually doing I was making the best creative
decisions it's just so happened that
that my persona wins
yeah alright then
yeah I'm going to do it that's good
also I like watching I personally like watching people try really hard.
And also you need that in a series, right?
You need the full range of people.
Yeah, you can't have a panel of Jamalis.
No, because everything would be flat by the end of it.
There'd be no set left.
Dead bodies. dead bodies Do you have any personal highlights?
If someone said to you straight away
describe Taskmaster to me
through your favourite task
what would you say?
I like the tasks at the house i really enjoyed the because those were a lot smaller and fiddlier and i found the sort of
outdoors stuff maybe i i just got a bit bamboozled i got more bamboozled by the outdoor stuff so i
enjoyed the the i really laughed so
hard when i made alex eat the the meal that i'd prepared that really it just made me laugh so and
he did and he did eat it and he took a big bite and i um i i don't know if they showed it when
they when they on the broadcast but i remember i was laughing so hard
that i started to do that weird knee squeezy thing because i honestly thought i was going to piss
like i was kind of grabbing at my crotch going oh fuck fuck fuck fuck because it just made me
laugh so much yeah you're i get a real i get a real delight watching people do things like that
well alex of course always i mean you know he says he's going to eat it and he always does that was
the one thing i was very sad i never got to do was make alex do a make alex a meal task um we got to
make him a cup of tea but not the not the meal uh did you do the cup of tea well it was all so it
was a team task it's actually one of the last tasks in the series i think um and all the stuff
that we needed to make the cup of tea was like chained or glued to the table um but we just went we went all out i ended up sucking the milk out of a jug and spitting it
into the mug and making it to make alex drink my spit and stuff that's so that was great but
your yeah your meal was the uh i've actually got it here it's a bed of lettuce with an apple inside
and an avocado with couscous and salmon plus orange skin filled with banana with Fanta
on top yeah yeah yeah I was so proud of the Fanta on top just drenching it in Fanta man that made
me laugh see that that to me is not that goes against your persona because that's chaotic you
were just like at the end just fuck it just pour Fanta all over it yeah I was trying to get I just
wanted to get more ingredients in yeah and I was slightly worried about the actual like i think if greg had been nasty he could have tripped
me up on the true definition of russian doll because in in reality i was doing a hemisphere
of russian dolls yeah i wasn't um strategically like putting an egg inside a coconut inside a
watermelon a lot of my stuff was sitting in a thing it wasn't enclosed
and i think that that was quite generous that he didn't disqualify me for that
and i can imagine him saying that's not a russian doll that's a hemisphere of the russian doll
yeah i mean like just then as i said it i'm like am i greg davies
this is something being john malkovich and i've been channeled into his body or something um would help yeah yeah yeah um that's a good highlight any any low any low lights apart from
the jelly we've discussed the jelly a lot yeah we know we know that was it's not wasn't a particular
highlight for you no but as you said lemac really helped me out there. Yeah. He did me a big one.
Low Lights, definitely a golf course one.
When I was doing that task, I just knew it was going to cut together so badly.
I could already imagine it being played on television.
Did you ever have those sort of out-of-body moments where you're like,
I can see this being played on television
and people going, why are you so dumb?
Yeah, yeah, most of them, I think.
Yeah, that for me was a real, and I was dreading that task.
And also, there were a whole load of tasks that we filmed
that they didn't put to air.
Yeah.
So I was hoping, oh, maybe they won't play that one.
Like maybe the golf, because it was in the final episode.
So we'd gone nine episodes and I was like, oh my God, I think I've got you to pull it. oh maybe they won't play that one like maybe the golf because it was in the final episode so
we'd gone nine episodes and i was like oh my god yeah that's the worry that's the worry isn't it
when you're there going either it's out the edit or it's such a disaster that they've saved it for
the final episode and when that so how did you feel when alex announced that as the final task
of the series i thought oh no our hero's in trouble
but then i thought but maybe lee will have done something so stupid that yeah it's okay you're
just praying lee's trousers fall down or something yeah exactly or he pooed himself and they had to
which i mean in this in the context of this series, wouldn't be that unbelievable, really. No, no, exactly.
So I kind of thought, oh, maybe Lee,
maybe he was just as stupid, and then he smashed it.
And I was watching, and I was like,
oh, that's how you do the task.
Oh, God, that's how you do the task.
And then when they went, now we're going to play Sarah's,
I was like, oh, good Lord, okay.
And then I kind of thought,
oh, this will be the sort of knife-edge thing
where I lose my unassailable lead.
Yeah. I mean, you can always tell when they're showing back a task the way they've edited it quite how chaotic it is.
Because they'll do a quick music change and that's what they have to do for you.
And it's Charlotte Run and then it goes to fast music and you're like, oh, no.
They played the song, the title track, Dumb Shit.
Oh, they're playing the Dumb Shit song.
Dumb Shit.mp4.'re playing the Dumb Shit song. Okay.
Dumb Shit.mp4.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
90.
Both.
Left. Left.
Jamali.
Walk. Jamali Turn Walk
Both turn walk
There were a couple of other tasks
That unfortunately didn't get played
That I thought oh
And I kept on thinking oh it's okay
They'll play that really good thing that I did
That'll come up
Interesting
I don't know if I told you about this last time
There was one that I was so proud of and it was um you had to do a conversation with yourself
you had to do like it was something about um like recording yourself and working with yourself
I did a song and I did a four-part harmony and it's a really serious love ballad
with really serious lyrics and I did it really seriously love ballad with really serious lyrics
and I did it really seriously
and I was spot lit
kind of like Liza Minnelli in Cabaret
but in a garage
and there was smoke
there was all this smoke around me
and there was going to be a four split screen
and the whole series
I was like, it's okay, they'll play that thing
That's going to be the last thing
That'll be the final thing of the series
Where I get all my points back
And everyone's going to respect me
So at that moment
When they announce the final task
You've got one side of your brain going
Please be the song
And the other half of your brain going
Please don't be the sat up on umpire's chair
Telling Charlotte to run for no reason
Yeah, and then putting on a Ll llama suit backwards so i had a llama fluffy dick honestly
i've not thought i didn't think about this but i think about it now it's the least dignified win
of any series of all time i think i know yeah it's unbelievable i mean it's it's unbelievable
i'm expecting there being some sort of public inquiry or something
because it really, I don't, and there was a thing where Greg said,
no, no, no, just everyone stay there.
I want all the casting directors to see it.
And it was so, I mean, everyone looks undignified,
but I'm just that extra level of undignified because mine's on backwards.
Mine's on backwards and just how you've managed to get it on backwards as well so you've got the big fluffy neck at the front and then somehow twisted the neck all the way around so the head's
on properly so yeah it must be so difficult to get on it was and i was also really sad when i
was doing that task because i knew i'd blown like i, I'd lost track of the points, but I was like, I must have blown my lead.
And then I was really sad that I hadn't won Taskmaster.
And then I thought, just do this really well.
And as I got the costume on, I could sense it was on back to front.
And it made me, I was like, oh.
Yeah.
I've got to keep going now because I can hear everyone next to me.
People are finishing.
They're doing so well.
They're all doing so well.
And you were doing well until you blew it, Sarah.
And then so I was doing the whole task a little bit depressed anyway
because I was like, oh.
And then I had to sort of do
the big reveal where i had like this fluffy dick where the tail should have been because it was
over my crotch and i was just a bit sad at that point uh we're very similar because the the way
we should have been in that situation has been really happy that we've done a good series and
everyone's enjoyed it and it's been really fun and you know 10 episodes of a tv show on a good channel is is such a thing to
celebrate but when i did i'd lost track of the points as well and i thought i'd blown it i thought
it was all down to that live task and then the live task was basically draw the don't draw the
short straw but it was breadsticks in an apron and i immediately and it was david baddiel i had
to pick a breadstick out of his apron and I immediately drew the short one.
And I was like, well, that's it, done.
And I went and sat on the bench because I was out.
And I was just like,
try and make your face look like you're not genuinely angry.
And I can't do that.
I know, I know.
Try to act like you don't care
when you started caring about this.
You've started to care about it so much
and you want the dumb trophy and you want
to win it and now you haven't won it why do you always fuck up like the internal monologue is
horrific this is typical you sarah you go in and you do your best and it's not enough
yeah that's what was going through my head and i'm in a fucking back to front line
well that's the thing it's so difficult to then get perspective because
i remember sitting on that bench being like god i can't believe you you've thrown it all away this
was gonna be so good and i was like okay ed what are you angry about you just pulled a short bread
stick out of david baddiel's apron yeah this isn't but then you and i like we know that that's all
life is life is just drawing breadsticks and putting on llama costumes like the whole thing
is the microcosm of the pointlessness of life
that you keep trying anyway.
Yeah.
Like, it is.
It's all just a bunch of dumb tasks.
That's what's so profound about the show,
is that it is just, it is life.
It is so true to life.
All your admin tasks,
that's basically shouting at someone on a golf course
to get them to a big red dot.
Like, it's just, you know.
That's like a group email is what that is.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
We're just filling time till we die with stupid tasks that are repetitive
and they just keep popping up.
Well, congratulations.
Thanks.
Yeah, come on.
Alex, can you show Sarah's positive affirmation system
for once she's made a decision?
Yeah, I did isolate something.
And I might even set up a hairdryer as well,
because then it can be like a blizzard.
Yeah, blizzard!
That's what I mean. Who are you angry with?
It's like someone inside's gone, not a blizzard,
and you've gone, yeah, blizzard!
I do undermine myself constantly and have to...
There is that sort of... Yeah.
That's actually a really chilling insight
into every day of my life sorry to put it on national television oh no it's fine if you got
to do the series all again if you got to i mean you know that you know there's you know the
potential of champion of champions as well so i guess you might oh my god you might get to do
more tasks would you approach having having been through the tasks the studio
and then seeing the episodes would you do anything differently do you think i don't think i can i
don't think i can i i think it is the um you cannot prepare for it it's the unstudiable exam
it's the untrainable sports match i don't i don't i think you are that's what's so depressing about
it is all you have are the tools of your personality and intellect and if it's the
lowest score of any winner that's the cross-section that's the length and breadth of my capabilities
i just can't i can't tell you that now i can that's really got in your head i can
158 158 lowest score ever 158 not bad for an IQ test, not so great for a Taskmaster outcome.
I mean, God, 158, shit a brick.
Well, look, if I'm going to try to be positive,
there's plenty of room for subsequent series
where other people can embarrass themselves even more.
Yeah, exactly.
As we speak about this, they have announced Series 12.
Okay.
So if I give you who's on series 12 now,
will you tell me as a winner
who you think has that winning gene?
Heavy is the head that weighs the crown.
Hang on.
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, I'm going to take you through who's doing it.
Guz Khan,
Desiree Burch,
Alan Davis,
Morgana Robinson
and Victoria Corrin Mitchell.
It's a great lineup,
but who's got that winning gene?
I know who all these people are,
but I don't really know them
that well personally.
Realistically,
the younger people do better.
Yeah.
I think... Oh, that's not true actually. I think, oh, that's not true, actually.
As I've said, that's not true.
Because Lee kept sort of, Lee definitely sort of pointed out that he and I struggled to absorb what was being asked of us.
Whereas I think the younger contestants just go, got it.
younger contestants just go, got it.
Whereas I think we were reading the piece of paper repeatedly trying to,
to the point where I did feel like, oh,
maybe I actually have a problem with reading and understanding words because I don't know what they're asking me to do.
Who's going to be the one to watch?
I think Desiree.
Yeah.
I think she's just going to have, I think she's got to kill.
I think she's going to go for it.
Yeah.
And I think she's going to have. I think she's going to go for it. Yeah. And I think she's going to have.
I think she will.
She's in the sweet spot.
She's in the sweet spot of youth.
So she'll have a fast brain.
I think she'll know what's being asked of her very quickly.
And I think she's a strong competitor.
I've seen her live shows and the energy in her live show.
Like I saw her live show in Edinburgh two years in 2019.
But her show was so energetic it was like and i think that that those energy levels that's going to see you
through she's very no bullshit as well yeah like i think she'll cut through a lot of the crap uh
and yeah i agree she'll be very energetic yeah she's a strong contender and i think she'll stand
up to greg yeah i don't i don't think I stood up to Greg much in the studio.
Well, you all just sort of hid behind Jamali a lot of the time, I think.
I really loved the relationship between Greg and Jamali.
Yeah, there was respect by the end.
Yeah, but what I love about it is how cinematic their journey was.
It was very officer and a gentleman.
It was very sort of Lou Gossett Jr. to Richard Gere.
Like, oh, this wild young man is doing my head in.
And then eventually became, you know what?
You're all right.
I respect this.
You remind me of me when I was a kid.
Yeah, it was every trope of every 80s Jerry Bruckheimer film.
Yeah.
It was Days of Thunder.
It was Robert Duvall to Tom Cruise.
It was Maverick with Tom Skerritt.
It was just the older sort of silverback
and the young crazy guy,
but then like this kind of,
actually this kid's got real talent.
Yeah, but I think there's an extra element to it
where I think Greg just couldn't be bothered
to stand up to him anymore.
I think Greg was just a bit more like,
ah, fine.
It was the pupil he gave up on.
Say what you want, yeah.
So it's the opposite of every movie I've just mentioned.
Say what you want, I'm retiring next year.
That sort of thing.
Okay, so sort of dangerous minds,
but stopping caring in act two.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Gotcha. minds but stopping caring in act two yeah exactly yeah gotcha would you do it again if they said sarah you got to come back you got to do a full series again
would you do it again knowing what you know now yeah i've got two children to educate
i'll do anything i'll so it wasn't necessarily the experience of taskmaster you will just under
quote do anything yeah yeah i need money to live so yeah i'll do it and there's no live work
so yeah i'll do it yeah okay cool yeah we all have lives to finance ed it's called show business not
show fun but you did But you did enjoy the experience
of being on Taskmaster. I had a wonderful time.
I had such a nice time.
I feel like, putting all
cynicism aside, it was so much
fun. I laughed so much.
And the studio days were such a joy.
They really, every time
they'd sort of, you know,
they'd have to reset or whatever and we'd all go
outside and chat. I was just having the loveliest time yeah but just there was a really really lovely gang of people
except mike wasniak he's so aggressive so so aggressive and i mean i'm so sorry you had to
listen to his hemorrhoid pop out and in such a actually that's my favorite that's my favorite thing this how do I forget that
that was the funniest thing I've ever that was incredible and his face like that wait wait wait
that face with the finger pointing up yeah ah and then for it to be so quiet for it to be
it's just not the sound I was expecting and yet it was absolutely the sound
i was expecting yeah that's the perfect sort of venn diagram isn't it where you're like
it shouldn't have sounded like that but it absolutely should have sounded like that
i mean it's incredible i i wouldn't want it to be the thing that that sort of takes my career to
the next level but i think mike's fine with it when he described it as being an absolute casserole down there yeah i mean jesus that's just it's perfect isn't it it is yeah
it's really wonderful really wonderful Sarah, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast.
Congratulations again on your victory.
We're all very happy for you.
Thanks, Ed.
Thanks for shooting on that picture.
And you're taking it so graciously.
Well, no, I've got one five eight.
I've got that.
We'll probably find out that's wrong.
We'll probably find out I got less or something.
But it's worth it for your reaction.
Also recently, just as a little extra thing before we say goodbye,
someone contacted us on Twitter recently to say that we look the same.
And then a few people had a go at making mock-up pictures of my face with your hair.
Yeah.
Not bad.
Do you think... I mean i i can't see what
they're talking about with our facial similarity i don't know what i would say is that we both have
a fairly strong jawline that must be it i think and i think like a decent sized lips but i think
that's i think that's about where it ends. Strong faces.
Strong manly jawlines.
The jawline of Thor.
The Thor line.
That must be it. But look, the picture, I was perfectly happy with that.
Good looking.
Yeah?
Good looking.
Thank you very much for coming back on the podcast.
Champion of Series 11 of Taskmaster,
with the lowest amount of points a champion has ever had.
She had nought points and she still won.
Thank you very much, Sarah Kendall.
Thanks, guys.
After you made your philosophical point about the importance of preparation,
I'm not sure what you did.
My anger started to get directed towards Alex during this task.
Rightly, you said, why has this happened?
And he said, I think it's because it wasn't built very well.
No, she didn't build it very well.
I mean, I'm amazed you didn't attack him.
You know, you sit around at lunchtime and you have a nice little chat
with Alex at lunch and it's all friendly.
Yeah, and then you go in and film and you just get this little bitch.
Yeah. And it's just stunning.
Awful, hairy little bitch.
And there we are fantastic
another brilliant series
of Taskmaster done
and another
very good series
of the Taskmaster podcast done
I say done
we're never done
because as you know
before we did series 11
we were going back
through old episodes
and we will continue
to do that next week
we start on series 3 i can't believe we're only at series 3 it's such a massive undertaking but
what a joy my job is to watch taskmaster and talk about taskmaster and i will continue to do that
job next week we will have a special guest hopefully hopefully from Series 3, next week. So come back and join us for that.
Until then, all of Taskmasters and all four, watch it again.
It stands up to repeat watches, as I'm sure you all know.
Buy something from the store, check out the YouTube,
just keep being good people.
We will see you again next week,
but give a round of applause in your homes for Alex, for Greg,
for the cast of Series 11, and everyone who works on Taskmaster.
Goodbye!
Bye!
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