Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 48. Paul Williams – S12 Ep.2

Episode Date: September 30, 2021

On this week’s podcast Ed is joined by comedian, musician and New Zealand Taskmaster’s Assistant – Paul Williams! As well as chatting through Episode 2 of the series the pair discuss NZ’s vers...ion of the show, which Taskmaster would win in a fight and why Paul was shocked by the lay out the UK Taskmaster house.  Watch Taskmaster every Thursday on Channel 4 at 9pm. Download the Taskmaster App!  Watch all of the Taskmaster on All 4https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Order Bring me the head of the Taskmaster https://taskmasterstore.com/products/bring-me-the-head-of-the-taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's Ed Gamble here. I am your host. This is the podcast where we discuss Taskmaster episode by episode and break it down task by task with a special guest. And this week, of course, we are discussing Series 12, Episode 2. Series 12 only recently kicked off on Channel 4. You can watch it every Thursday night, 9pm on Channel 4 and catch up on all four afterwards. We've only just started but it's a brilliant series. We're going to be talking to a wonderful special guest about
Starting point is 00:01:10 episode 2 today but before that I have more exciting news about Taskmaster because the brand new Taskmaster book Bring Me The Head Of The Taskmaster is out now. 101 next level tasks that will lead one lucky reader to some very special taskmaster treasure are you up to the task you can buy your copy now online or from your local bookshop i know personally that i've looked at the book and i am not up to the task i am useless i read some of those things i thought i don't understand that but i know there's plenty of people out there who's starting to solve the tasks already. So get the book. Get on with it. You might win the Taskmaster treasure.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Also, there's a new official Taskmaster app, excitingly called Taskmaster the App. Very on brand. It's a jam-packed Taskmaster extravaganza. There's a show companion so you can watch and score along at home as if you were the Taskmaster. There's also a Taskmaster Academy with various quizzes, group tasking and solo tasking games and a jukebox with all of the music from the show. It's very early days with the app. There's a lot more content still to come.
Starting point is 00:02:16 There might even be the odd bug, right? Not a deliberate bug. This is not one of Alex's tricks. But that's all part of the fun. Check it out and do give us some feedback at taskmaster.tv. So what are you you waiting for get involved and make good choices okay let's crack on because we have a wonderful special guest in the shape of Paul Williams if you don't know him Paul Williams is on Taskmaster New Zealand he is the little Alex Horne role in Taskmaster New Zealand
Starting point is 00:02:44 but he is a man in his own right he does it in his own style I was so excited when Paul was announced as the Task Master's assistant in New Zealand because he is absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to chat to him today about UK Task Master Series 12 Episode 2 and I'm sure a few things about the New Zealand Task Master will come up as well so So let's crack on. This is me talking to Paul Williams. Welcome, Paul Williams, to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. It's very exciting to have you here. Small explanation at the top for those people listening who might not know exactly your role within the Taskmaster
Starting point is 00:03:26 universe Paul you are the Taskmaster New Zealand Taskmasters assistant. Correct. Now when I tweeted that you were coming on I described you as the New Zealand version of little Alex Horne which I then immediately regretted because you're not a version of anyone else you're your own thing so I apologize immediately. No no need to apologize that's a version of anyone else. You're your own thing. So I apologize immediately. No, no need to apologize. That's an honor. Because I think when new sort of nations start up Taskmaster, there's always that worry that it's going to try and be a direct copy. But you, and when I heard you were doing the little Alex Horne role,
Starting point is 00:03:59 I was very excited because you do have a personality that just slots right into that straight away. And an outfit. You didn't need to change anything yeah yeah no my my signature outfit kind of worked um yeah i i definitely felt like it was something i was not born to do but something i really wanted to do um i think we can say thanks for saying that yeah i think i was born to do it i'm going to change my stance i was born for it good i'm really glad um were you were you a fan of the uk version uh before you became the nztm assistant i was a huge fan and honestly i think that's why they asked me um as well as being born for it um i think they knew I was a massive Taskmaster fan
Starting point is 00:04:45 and I think that's, yeah, essentially why they gave me the call-up. Yeah, I think so. And Alex actually did call me as well to say, do you know Paul Williams? And I said, yeah, I know Paul Williams. We're thinking about making him the assistant. They're thinking about him.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Do you reckon that's a good idea? And I said, no, but he never listens to me. So there we are. I was like, not Paul Williams. He's a troublemaker.
Starting point is 00:05:13 He'll kick off. Yeah. Yeah. And you were right. I've been nothing but trouble. It's been a nightmare for production. Yeah. But,
Starting point is 00:05:21 but I appreciate that Alex didn't listen to you. Yeah. And rolled the dice, took a chance. Exactly. He's come up trumps. So we first encountered each other, Paul, probably at the Edinburgh Festival, didn't we? I think so, yes.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Yeah, when you were doing a show with Rose Matafayo. Correct. New Zealand comedian comedian now uk comedian uh and taskmaster series nine um uh alumni uh she came second well done rose tried her best uh she she was incredible she was i think definitely my favorite on the season and i see i see yeah yeah i I mean, you say that, Paul, hopefully slightly in jest, but that is an opinion I get sent quite a lot. Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:06:13 No, that's fine. That's all right. People don't like winners, you know? People don't like winners, especially in this country. And I know New Zealand's the same. You root for an underdog, right? We're quite similar in that regard. Oh, no, definitely.
Starting point is 00:06:23 No, I have no doubts that Rose intentionally came second. As a New Zealander, that's what we strive for. Yeah, exactly. It is a different... I've seen, I'd say, quite a lot of the Taskmaster New Zealand episodes. I've only seen the first half of Series 2. But the vibe on Taskmaster New Zealand, it's lovely. It's like all the loveliest UK seasons where they're all friends.
Starting point is 00:06:47 I feel like there is a little bit of competition, but everyone seems to be there to help each other. Would you say that's fair? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Season two especially, they did get quite competitive, but were also incredibly tight. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:02 I think they're still constantly chatting in a thread. Yeah. That I'm not part of. That's fine. That's fine. Oh, man. I don't need to be part of it. It's tricky because you're a figure of authority
Starting point is 00:07:13 within that group, right? Because we have a Series 9 WhatsApp group called The Chickpeas, and Alex Horne isn't part of that. And I think he got quite upset when we all went out for an afternoon tea once without him. But I think that's the, that's unfortunately,
Starting point is 00:07:26 that's something you have to take on with the role pool. Oh, definitely. Definitely. It's like, you know, if you're going out for, if you're with your high school friends and you're,
Starting point is 00:07:37 you're going out for a, you're going to the movies, you're not going to take your, your teacher and your principal. So do you see, do you see yourself as the teacher in that and jeremy's the principal no yeah well that's what i said then but um i know i had never really thought of that but um no i yeah maybe your your relationship with jeremy wells the taskmaster as well is is different to the uk relationship he does not go out there specifically
Starting point is 00:08:05 to talk to you and is not is not mean to you no he's he's incredibly nice to me actually right here i know this uh that the podcast is is famously um audio based but this is actually a candle he gave me oh that's really sweet yeah yeah so what scent is it ah it was actually crazy he explained it to me and it was kind of i mean it was it was like a nun it was kind of it was like a nun who was like sleeping with people right with a man which is not something nuns should be doing. No, that's not very nunny behavior. No, and I think this is the smell of the room where this man and this nun used to, you know, hang out. And he explained that to me. I was shocked, but I appreciated it.
Starting point is 00:09:00 It's a lovely gift. It seems expensive, yeah. It's got a big gold, like, shield on it. Oh, hang on turn it turn it around i yeah i know what i've i've seen those candles before in liberties they're they're really expensive he's that's a lovely present there obviously the uk were on series 12 now paul um huge what series do you think you'll be able to get to in new zealand before you run out of comedians i mean yeah we've got i think four million people and i think like we can just start kind of branching out from comedians into,
Starting point is 00:09:46 you know, probably maybe athletes next, you know, get some all blacks on there. Yeah. And then, and then just sort of business people and politicians definitely. Well,
Starting point is 00:09:56 your politicians are cool. They would genuinely do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they definitely would do it. But yeah, you are right.
Starting point is 00:10:04 New Zealand is very small there's a lot of comedians here so um you know that was a and every day every day another comedian is born there's one born every minute not in new zealand but is that the stat there's at least one comedian born every year i'd say that for sure for sure so if you sort of make it through to say series 18 if you're doing one a year then there's going to be a constant refresher of comedians right yeah yeah and eventually we might be getting some pretty young children on but that's fine i'd be keen for taskmaster junior yeah that'd be fun um before uh before you took on the role did you um did you go back and re-watch any of the UK ones did you try and study what Alex was doing or were you
Starting point is 00:10:53 consciously trying to make it your own thing I I definitely re-watched a bunch and I and I watched some of the international ones I hadn't seen. And Alex, yeah, I wasn't really watching him. I definitely, I sent him the odd email with little questions about certain admin things. But yeah, no, I wouldn't say I was, I was more just watching the show just to kind of be in that zone. Yeah. Well, you got into it. It's such a great show.
Starting point is 00:11:30 And yeah, I'm very much enjoying series two. Some of my favorite NZ comedians on there, including David Correos, a man who I last saw at the Edinburgh Fringe, do what I would suggest is the most disgusting show I've ever seen in my life. I think I know that show.
Starting point is 00:11:51 He ate dog food. I think he maybe shoved a hoover up his ass. A bike pump, I think it was. A bike pump up his ass, I'm so sorry. He was putting stuff in rather than taking stuff out. Yeah, there was all sorts of stuff going on there. I mean,
Starting point is 00:12:06 it was, it was a proper, it was a proper fringe experience. I'm honestly shocked. We got him across the line for being on the show because he'd done stuff with, with TVNZ, which is our sort of main, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:20 it's like our BBC, I guess. And honestly, I'm, I don't know how we got him across the line but I'm very grateful that we did because yeah he's wonderful on it. He is wonderful
Starting point is 00:12:32 he's just absolute chaotic energy and it's lovely to see him on the like I think given time to prepare he is absolutely committed and disgusting and then sometimes when he's on the back hoof he just looks like a four year old boy who's been caught out and it's very very sweet um yeah it's what it's well worth watching um i once did i did uh seven days the panel show yeah uh when i was in new zealand and
Starting point is 00:12:57 uh david was on and ursula carlson was on as well um who's brilliant but then there was a little break halfway through the show this just blew my mind about um about's brilliant but then there was a little break halfway through the show this was blew my mind about um about new zealand television there was a break halfway through the show we all just went into the dressing room and had a beer and ate some cheese and just left the audience there yeah we just had a break um and then at some point in that break uh i didn't realize this until we got back onto the set uh david had put a full brie in his pocket. And just when we started recording again, he just started eating a brie,
Starting point is 00:13:31 taking big bites out of it. And then we all sort of went, David, what are you doing? And he had nothing to follow up with. He just panicked, grabbed a brie, and he was just taking huge chunks out of it when the camera started rolling again. Wow. That reminds me of um when when we before
Starting point is 00:13:48 season one of taskmaster we just shot a little like warm-up kind of episode it was called episode zero yeah where basically there was just a couple tasks that weren't uh gonna be we're gonna be cut for whatever reason and so we we just like warm into it before we shot episode one we just did with no audience just did like a little kind of like shortened practice version and i was just i thought of doing this gag at the start where i went and bought some brownies on the way there and i like filled all my pockets with brownies and i was like hoping that jeremy was going to ask me like a question about the brownies and then I was going to like reveal I had all these brownies but he didn't ask me the question like
Starting point is 00:14:30 I should have you know I was just hoping it was going to go that way you didn't prep him for it no no so then afterwards I just was sadly like taking all these brownies out of my pockets it was it was very sad it was very sad so let's let's talk about this episode of taskmaster uk series 12 episode 2 now this uh this lineup Paul, of the new UK series, how aware are you of anyone on the lineup? Is anyone new to you? Is there anyone that you're aware of before? My knowledge of people is very bad.
Starting point is 00:15:18 I'll preface this by saying that. I remember once in Edinburgh going to dinner with a couple of friends. Nish Kumar was one of them. And there was a third man there like once i remember once in edinburgh going to dinner with a couple friends nish nish kuma yeah was one of them and uh and there was a third man there who i didn't know and then as the night went on i was like he kept getting asked for photos and i was like he's famous and then afterwards i went home and looked him up and it was uh yeah it was daro brain um someone i definitely should have known about like as a comedian but um so my knowledge is
Starting point is 00:15:47 very bad um but i will say the the only person i i was vaguely familiar with was um was alan yes the other yeah the other five uh new to me now uh other five five four four four my maths is unless you're saying that alex one of alex or greg was quite new to you as well that's how bad you are alex horn yeah he's new right he's yeah he's new for this season yeah yeah i like him he's great yeah he's good he's he does the he's sort of our version of paul. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trying to do his own thing. Alan, of course, I guess they show, do they show QI? Do they show Jonathan Creek? Did they ever show Jonathan Creek in New Zealand?
Starting point is 00:16:35 I have not heard of Jonathan Creek, but QI is known here for sure. Yeah. Okay, so let's go through uh the uh during the prize task then so the prize task is the most awesome square which is pretty straightforward for the way that the prize tasks have been going uh in the uk is alex is making them quite obscure now and quite difficult to pick the perfect thing which is a lot of fun to see what people bring in. But Most Awesome Square feels pretty straightforward. Let's talk about Desiree first, who brought in a paper fortune teller.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Now, I feel like she was quite harshly judged for this because I love those things. Agreed. As a kid, those were so magical for me. Even now, I still don't know how they're made yeah i completely agree it was only ever when i was a kid it was only girls who could make those yes yeah i've never seen i've never seen a boy make one of those and i don't know it must just be some sort of brain chemistry thing um but i always loved them always thought
Starting point is 00:17:43 they were cool you could do rude ones. You could do fun ones. The fortune teller element is great. A lot of nostalgia, a lot of resonance. Perhaps, now I don't want to start chucking around accusations, perhaps Greg is slightly too old to have any nostalgic sort of memories of these. Yeah, possibly. Because I agree with you there.
Starting point is 00:18:03 To me, those are incredible. Yeah, and it's a real shame that she only got one point. Now, there's occasionally arguments on UK Taskmaster about what points are given out. I've noticed, not really in New Zealand, because Jeremy will occasionally score things wildly. Like, I've seen a few occasions where he's just like, one point to you, two points to you.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Like, he's not even listened to what's gone on he's just doing his own thing but everyone just sorts sort of takes it are there arguments in the studio that that are cut out does it ever get heated yeah definitely um i think especially in season two more so than season one people would really argue hard for their uh for their prize task and for the regular tasks but um yeah he he did he did receive quite a bit of backlash i know for season one for some of his scoring um he did tell me that um but uh but that'll just make him double down i think um these taskmaster types they don't take well to criticism. No, no, no. I'm actually scared.
Starting point is 00:19:12 I regret saying that I agree that the fortune teller deserved more than one point. I feel like that was unprofessional of me as a Taskmaster's assistant to question a Taskmaster, especially Greg, the original UK Taskmaster. So I'd like to retract what i said and apologize to greg formally the fortune teller one point was the right decision so is that how it works as a taskmasters assistant are you now do you assist all taskmasters globally if greg called upon you to do something could would you have to do it i i would probably i would probably message a Alex just to make sure it's okay with him because I feel like that would be disrespectful to him. But if he was tied up with something, he's got a lot going on. And if he said go for it, then I would definitely be there to help him out.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Quick question while I think about it. Who would win in a fight between Greg Davis and Jeremy Wells? That's tough. Both pretty intimidating guys. Yeah. I've heard, I've never met Greg, but he's tall, right? Six foot eight. Six foot eight.
Starting point is 00:20:28 That's, that is big oh yeah i was and i've known him for years and every time i see him it surprises me yeah i was shocked when i met alex and saw that he wasn't five foot one yeah alex is taller than me yes he's taller than me as well i was very shocked uh i think he's taller than me i don't know he seemed tall um but yes i'm gonna go greg purely because of his size but jeremy's quite tall as well but he's he's not six foot eight but he's pretty ripped jeremy isn't he i seem to remember a photo of him popping up with no top on yes he i think i've heard rumors from people who have seen him out running that he is the fastest runner in New Zealand. In New Zealand. Wow.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Yes. And I think he takes cold plunge pulls, even maybe in the winter. That's a rumor. I don't know if that's true. So many rumors about Jeremy Wells. Yeah. To me that that screams
Starting point is 00:21:27 good at fighting if you're taking cold pretty good fight i think it'd be a pretty good fight well we should organize it for sure sort it out i think we should i think that'd be lovely uh a lovely crossover series when everything's back to normal and we can all travel can have a crossover series of sort of all-star all-star comedians from across the two uh taskmaster uh nations and then to decide who the taskmaster is for that episode big old topless fight morgana brought in albert square in a snow globe um yes now how aware are you of albert square and eastenders probably i mean i figured it out because I assumed when she said Albert Square, I thought that's a square somewhere in England.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Yeah. But then, you know, very quickly I was like, oh, it's from the TV show EastEnders, which I've never seen, but I know of. But yeah, I liked it. I liked it as a prize task. Yeah, I thought it was a nice idea i think she was sort of slightly hamstrung by the most awesome thing because albert square as is pointed out on a regular basis to her there is not is not awesome at all it's actually a terrible square which is why we enjoy watching things that happen on albert square if it was awesome it'd be a
Starting point is 00:22:41 boring soap because you want to see people die you want to see affairs you want to see fights yeah um but it was a good attempt to think outside the box of the square i think yeah um victoria now i'm surprised you're not heard of victoria i'm surprised only connect hasn't made it over to new zealand it's a it's a belting quiz show um and very on brand for her uh she brought in the triple word score square from scrabble um which was which was good i thought it was it was interesting but i don't think it deserved the three points what i'm really interested in is she went on a bit of a monologue about mr strong being the second sexiest um mr man yeah and that mr messy was the sexiest mr Man when he's been blow-dried. I just want to see her try and rank the entire Mr. Man universe
Starting point is 00:23:28 by sexiness now. Do you have a particular sexiest Mr. Man or Little Miss? Yeah, I'm looking at them now and wait, that's the worst resolution. I mean, there's a lot
Starting point is 00:23:44 of candidates. Wait, did she say Mr. Messy? Yeah, Mr. Messy, but after he's been blow-dried. It was quite specific. Mr. Messy has jumped off the page at me instantly, and he's not even blow-dried. Yeah. Yeah, I think I agree with her with Mr. Messy.
Starting point is 00:24:01 He stands out, doesn't he? Because he's a big pink scribble. I'll tell you who's a bad guy mr uppity stay away from him you don't want an encounter with mr uppity no way i tell you mr good is not i mean you can see why people prefer bad boys mr good is so boring wait is mr good one or mr happy i've got mr good here oh right he's just oh yeah very pale with uh with a little bowler hat on no thank you very much mr cool is definitely up there a triangle with a top hat yeah that's really good
Starting point is 00:24:40 yeah mr perfect and mr good i'm not i'm not interested at all mr cool and there is one called mr fussy and yes i did just misread it as mr pussy so we better uh imagine they just threw that one in and here's our new mr man mr pussy anyway um so it's three points for victoria alan uh alan went with a very obvious thing of writing awesome on on a square well what he said was a square but it turned out to be three liters of rose it was a customized wine box yes um it was the rose that won greg over fair enough as soon as you bring rose into an equation uh greg enjoys it but it's not a square paul how do you how did you feel about this judgment that you got four points but it but it's not a square paul how do you how did you feel about
Starting point is 00:25:25 this judgment that you got four points but it's patently not a square yeah i i don't i can see both sides of it really i can see why it's it's close to being a square um but you know a square is a square and again i'm not gonna argue with greg's decision because i i've already explained that personally i feel like as it's not a square, it shouldn't have got the four points. Because then you may as well just bring in a bottle of rose for everything. Yeah, okay. Yeah. See, I'm not a drinker.
Starting point is 00:25:56 So the wine to me is not that awesome. No. So to you, that's just a useless, it's not even a square. It's not a square. There's nothing in it that you'd like. So it's pointless. No, no. And the triple word square as well.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Like to me, you know, I've been, I'm constantly getting scammed by Scrabble sharks who have just mastered, you know, tripling a Q. Yeah. And I'm out here spelling great words. I say get rid of the triple word square, all those, and just pure, pure words. Pure scrabble. Pure scrabbling. Yeah, pure scrabbling.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Just no, just the longest word wins, right? Yeah. No scores for any of the letters, just longest word wins. I love it. Yes. Yeah. You heard it here first.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Paul's just invented pure Scrabble. And finally, Guz, who at this stage, we're only on episode two, everything he says makes me laugh out loud. Every single word he said has made me laugh. He's a buffoon in the best possible way. He's just always doing a funny face, always saying something funny. I actually messaged him yesterday when I was watching this episode
Starting point is 00:27:08 just to go, it was pathetic. I just met him going, you're so funny on this. Everything you say is making me laugh. I've never met him. He brought in a Lego portrait of himself. Big old dose of arrogance,
Starting point is 00:27:20 but it's a pretty awesome square. I'd be very happy to receive that of my face or Guz's. Oh, agreed. I mean, it's a masterpiece awesome square. I'd be very happy to receive that of my face or Guz's. Oh, agreed. I mean, it's a masterpiece. I can see why it got five points. I believe it got five points, right? It did get the five points.
Starting point is 00:27:34 It did get five points. It very much deserved it. I've cut out letters from magazines that say an awesome square. But, cunningly, there's an extra surprise because it's actually three litres of rosé. Here it is. It's a... Wine box. Nice. Oh!
Starting point is 00:27:54 And that is the killer blow. I mean, honestly, it's a pretty awesome square. Technically, a box or a cube, a square is two-dimensional. Come on!'s that's true we could all got out and gotten rosé now could we not let's move on to task one which is the first team task of the series scale the mountain your attempts must last exactly five minutes and will be sped up by exactly five times afterwards most thrilling ascent wins. You must start your ascent within the next 10 minutes. So this is the first time we've seen the teams.
Starting point is 00:28:29 The teams sort of divided, sort of as I expected them to be. I think they're always divided in a way that Greg can immediately comment on why they've been divided like that. And it feels like it's age again. Although Victoria was not happy to be told that. What did you think of this task paul i firstly i loved i always love it's always a highlight of the season seeing the teams come out for the first time yes and i i thought this one was was great um i i enjoyed the task i it's interesting because from a from my perspective like the team team tasks are so chaotic and especially when they're kind of creative like this because this
Starting point is 00:29:16 this wasn't really a physical thing like it was you know it was pretty easy to climb the mountain but like when when we do creative tasks especially the team of three they're all kind of uh throwing ideas out there and so the 10 minutes is is yeah is quick to to to dive into it yeah i mean as you say this is the first time the teams are meeting which is always always wonderful to see um alan and victoria just they see each other they just they they look at each other as if they knew this was going to happen and they're not really that bothered to see each other at all um a second time this series that uh that they've utilized the head cam uh technology uh because everyone looks funnier from that angle um just victoria go hello alan hello
Starting point is 00:30:07 it's beautiful um and then uh the desiree guz morgana meeting was fantastic because no one knew desiree was there for about 10 minutes yes at first i was like okay wow they did they do not care for desiree but um but then they were very excited to see her when when they finally noticed her yeah it's always the the slightly younger team i think who are more excited to see her when they finally noticed her. Yeah, it's always the slightly younger team, I think, who are more excited to see each other. And Alan is just, I don't know, Alan is not here to win Taskmaster. Alan is very chilled out.
Starting point is 00:30:34 He does not care. He's just there to have a good time or just get through the day, I think. So let's talk about what they did. You say 10 minutes is quite quick. I would say that both of their attempts represent how quick the 10 minutes prep is because especially Desiree goes Morgana.
Starting point is 00:30:50 That was insane what happened in theirs. So did she throw a flag and kill? Yeah, so she got speared. I think Desiree threw the flag and speared Morgana and she died. But then I think cut off some of her ass to feed to feed guz so that's what got him to the top and desiree got to the top and then guz fell down and died um yeah and then desiree seemingly uh is gets over the death of her friends very quickly
Starting point is 00:31:25 and starts jumping up in the air like Mario. It was a good story. And it's nice to see again how committed Morgana is that she just got a jar of jam and just started rubbing it into her eyes. Yes. And it was a real... I did not expect Gus to die. I knew one death was probably coming
Starting point is 00:31:45 but the second death really it rattled me so you were you were invested at that point were you oh definitely yeah
Starting point is 00:31:52 yeah that was good it was a good story and most thrilling ascent wins you've got to remember that right because Alan and Victoria
Starting point is 00:31:59 got three points each and I would say that their attempts was anything but thrilling he dropped some of his tools oh now you mentioned it yeah that's true he did victoria's nails were too long there's a lot to overcome there yeah i the vip area just didn't you When I think thrilling, I don't think,
Starting point is 00:32:25 oh, they're trying to get to the VIP area at the top of the mountain. Social climbing, it had layers. It had a layer. It did, it did. But I think what we're learning about Victoria is she's very good at bullshitting off the top of her head. So if Greg challenges her in the studio,
Starting point is 00:32:42 she's just going to absolutely make up something that sounds real. So I think three points might have been generous for those two, but I did very much enjoy Desiree Guzman-Morgana and the weird backstory of Desiree keeping the deposits if her students died. I like that as well. As far as I can work out, Morgana selflessly gave her life
Starting point is 00:33:01 by chopping off sections of her own buttocks. She's well known for the arse-bread. Yeah. Light and fluffy. Yeah. With a nice crust. Now, you perish, presumably from your wound. The surviving members push to the summit. LAUGHTER Tragically, Gus was killed in an awful fall,
Starting point is 00:33:22 leaving Desiree being the only climber to reach the summit where she celebrated. And the last thing we saw was Gus with a croissant on his face. That was Asperger's. It was a really great bit of acting, Gus. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Task two, work out the contents of these bags you may not open the bags you can either a ask alex to make one tiny hole in a bag and have five minutes examination time during which you must eat at least one big spoonful from each bag b ask alex to put all the contents in a blender for one minute and have 10 minute examination time time during which eating is optional.
Starting point is 00:34:28 I mean, look, everyone chooses the A option, which is make the tiny hole in the bag and have a spoonful from each, which is, I think, the only option. The blender is a crazy choice. The fact that Morgana picked the blender is outrageous, I think. Yeah, I will say this. It was definitely more of a puree
Starting point is 00:34:46 like it was more of a liquid smooth liquid at the end of the blending than i thought it would be like i thought it would kind of maybe still be a bit chunky so possibly that's what she was thinking like because once it's all mixed like that it's gonna be there's no way you're picking out what what's in the what's in the different uh the different purees because there's you can't you can't tell that anyway i mean guz took big spoonfuls he just wanted to get out of there i think there was he was just like that's disgusting let's wrap let's wrap this up some terrible guesses from him he only got 2.5 out of 10 um i think i'd be all right at this because i don't mind eating something where i don't know what it is. I'll pick something off the floor. And then I remember it's part of something I cooked three days ago.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I'll eat anything, to be fair. And the combinations they had, Nutella and nachos, it sounds nice. Yeah. I'd eat that. Cabbage and caramel. You do eat that. Paul does eat that. Cabbage and caramel, fine.
Starting point is 00:35:43 I'd eat that. Gravy and granola yeah wonderful banana banana and marmite mustard and mayonnaise i eat all of those things paul that's delicious how would you get stuck in would you go big big spoonfuls in or would you sort of yeah let the end no i think i'd go i'd go pretty big spoonfuls i think i'm similar i wouldn't really mind um the the taste yeah uh once you said there was no meat like fish fish is kind of my kryptonite but um if there's no if i know there's no fish yeah i'm fine morgana i think found the real hack which was to go through the bins but i don't know whether they'd thought ahead of that and they they sort of put everything in uh
Starting point is 00:36:25 non-branded packaging or started throwing them in different bins because uh because she still only got three out of ten but that's got to be a good way around it hasn't it yeah um where did she place she got three out of ten so she got three points when she was joint joint with alan um who uh who didn't try to hack it at all and i think he thought the task was to eat all of it he really possibly big old spoonfuls just yamming it down it depends where in the day you film these things i think because if that was before lunch i would be you know pouring the bag directly into my mouth but after lunch no thank you yeah i was i was shocked my uh in in episode one uh of the of season 12 the hit alex with the ball task really shattered my perception of the layout of
Starting point is 00:37:16 the uk taskmaster house really this is interesting we should we should talk about this so what what in your head uh was the layout of the taskmaster okay this is gonna this is now gonna sound crazy because after when i saw this i was like i was crazy for ever thinking this i thought the study was upstairs really like up up a staircase and then the study was like up in the roof with almost like with no windows no that yeah that's right at the that's at the side so yeah you there's like french windows that go out onto the garden um it's i'd say it's a it's a way smaller house than from what i've seen from the new zealand house which does have stairs you've got two floors there right yes yeah it's um it's huge but usually one of my biggest skills is like figuring out the floor plan of a place and this really rattled me
Starting point is 00:38:13 how long has that been one of your skills paul since day one let's be as soon as i was born i was like okay um like, okay, I'm in the maternity ward. You hang left along there. You're eventually going to get to the cafe. Yeah, you were leading everyone the way, weren't you? You were like, come on, follow me. I know the way. Do you want a coffee?
Starting point is 00:38:37 Yeah. Two lefts and a right. This is my scale. Yeah. Yes, I know what you mean. And it's very odd watching your version of the show because having stairs and having the pond and that huge expanse of land,
Starting point is 00:38:54 I mean, it's beautiful. I'd happily live at the Taskmaster New Zealand house. Yes. It is stunning. Agreed. I haven't done it, but if we get another season, because I have a little bedroom there,
Starting point is 00:39:05 and I was like, I should just sleep here and wake up and just, you know, do some tasks. Oh, that would be amazing. And then go to sleep. That would be commitment. Sleeping in the Taskmaster house, that would be beautiful. You say commitment, but it's it's a lot nicer than uh my normal house so all right okay so you just want to move in there because
Starting point is 00:39:29 you don't like your house fair enough yes um desiree got four out of ten um probably my quote of the episode where uh where she uh i think she guesses mustard and mayonnaise before she eats it and then she goes yep that's what the fuck that is absolutely loving Desiree's energy so far in the series she really throws herself into it and uses turns of phrase that are absolutely never heard before in the UK
Starting point is 00:39:55 and speaking of terms you haven't heard salad cream would you like to know about salad cream Paul yes it's quite a sort of go on it's a disturbing term to me it doesn't sound right salad cream i think yeah if you take it in isolation and really think about the term salad cream it is horrible um but yeah that is it's quite a sort of dated thing that uh we used to use in the UK instead of like salad dressing.
Starting point is 00:40:25 It's like a sort of mayonnaise-y kind of thing. It's got a very distinct taste. But yeah, salad cream. Yeah, it's not a pleasant name. But then, you know, next time you're over in the UK, I'm going to get you some salad cream. We'll go out for a round of salad cream. You don't drink. You can have a round of salad cream. You don't drink. You can have a pint of salad cream.
Starting point is 00:40:47 That'd be lovely. Yeah, it's not nice stuff, but it was actually a decent guess for this, I think. I've just made a couple of notes that Alan's eyes flutter when he eats something horrible. He had a big spoonful of something and his eyes just went. They fluttered so nicely.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Yeah. Big fan of his commitment and this feels like revenge from Alex for everything horrible he's had to eat over the years because he's eaten some disgusting stuff he had to eat dog food in the first series of Taskmaster absolutely disgusting and this feels like revenge
Starting point is 00:41:19 which is all the more better that Morgana blends hers and makes him drink it it absolutely called his bluff on it straight away. That evil laugh she did as well. Yeah. Yeah. That she's got chaotic energy. She's brilliant.
Starting point is 00:41:35 But Victoria, Cora Mitchell, just incredible bringing home, bringing home the five points with eight out of 10, which I did not think was possible. And this is okay victoria cora mitchell has been on uh my other podcast uh off menu uh and we talked to her about food this is quite early on she had a terrible menu and she's not really like a foodie she brings
Starting point is 00:41:57 her own sandwiches to dinner parties and eats them in the toilet if she doesn't like the food wow and bearing that in mind she absolutely chowed down on everything, didn't she? It was genuinely impressive. Yeah, yeah. She did not bat an eyelid. No. Or like the thing that Alan was doing. Yeah, unlike Alan.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Yeah, he was having an epileptic fit. Really batting his eyelids. Yeah, really going for it. Yeah, very impressive. Eight out of ten from Victoria. So, yeah, five points for Victoria, four points for Desiree, 3 points for Morgana and Alan, 1 point
Starting point is 00:42:27 for Gus. You've got 15 seconds. We've got Nutella and Corn Flakes. Onion and godforsaken bird vomit. This is, you know, garbage fire of all of those things. And then this shit is actually like oatmeal I don't know,
Starting point is 00:42:44 death. Oatmeal and death. Yeah. Task three. Here we are. Completely paint this space hopper green without making any mess. The entire space hopper must be green. The entire space hopper must stay in the dome.
Starting point is 00:42:59 When you're satisfied that you're finished, put your hands on your hips and bow deeply at your green space hopper. Fastest and least messy wins. Your starts now here we go so as a man who is quite tidy i found this painful to watch at times okay again i'm not gonna i'm not gonna ever challenge a taskmaster's scoring but if i was i would say that what happened in this task was a travesty. Because Guz getting four points? Yes. I think mess needed to be weighted.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Like, more points towards tidiness. I think you're right.'s here's what i'd say if you reread the task you've got to paint the space up a green um the entire space of it must be green fine but then fastest and least messy wins your time starts now so greenness is actually not as important to the score within the task as fastest and least messy it feels like you're right it feels like we need to reward speed but we also need to reward i mean because basically we all wanted it to happen it went everywhere it couldn't have gone worse for him and i'm so happy it happened uh you know he slapped it it wobbled it came off and made the most mess i've ever seen
Starting point is 00:44:23 anyone make yeah so the fact he then got four points i think you're right it's a travesty but you're not saying that you're saying no i'm not i'm saying if yeah if i if i was in a different role yeah i might say that but i would i would never say that okay um but here's thought. Yeah. Could you have painted the whole ground green? Is that a mess? Or is that a renovation? I think that's brilliant. I think you could totally argue that you've renovated the dome.
Starting point is 00:45:00 The space hopper is just fitting in. That's part of the renovation. I think that's i think that's it's not really a mess it's a choice yeah it's a choice it's a decision because my only other thought was i do similar to morgana i would have popped that space hopper but then put it in the bag poured paint into the bag and then just sort of like wazzed it around my head for a bit and jiggled it all up so it was completely green and then pulled it out
Starting point is 00:45:26 and put it on the back. The problem with Morgana's is she lays it onto the bare floor, which I think is a mess. Yes, agreed. In your system. Not agreed, not agreed,
Starting point is 00:45:35 but if I wasn't the taskmaster of the system in New Zealand, I might agree. It's funny, you said you would deflate it because deflating, I'm one of those people who that wouldn't come into my mind really but i i feel like there's like a new kind of you know like the maya maya briggs personality types and all the different sort of like i think this should
Starting point is 00:45:58 be a new one and it's deflate not deflate this is only two there's two personality yeah it's quite a binary society we've got it's deflate or don't deflate um yeah it's interesting you say that i was just watching an episode of uh taskmaster new zealand yesterday where uh the task is to get the swiss ball into the canoe uh but you can't get wet you can't go into the pond and obviously my first thought was deflate the swiss ball exactly my first thought give it a good chuck fully fully inflated just i think that's crazy i would never do that and i think but that's what i'm saying it's the personality it's it's different so what does that say about me that i'm a deflator um i don't know i've got that far have we no we haven't got that far um i think as long as we've got the two things like people can
Starting point is 00:46:53 kind of interpret it how they want yes yeah yeah like a classic uh psychological test yeah we'll keep it very vague it doesn't really mean anything yeah we'll be like okay so you like you would you are a deflator so you like eating food um some movies but not all movies yeah and you're a murderer yeah yeah um alan so chill i don't know how you remain that chill when you're covering your hands in paint and like rubbing it all over like you're massaging the the space hopper he's just so relaxed i think he's just happy to be there and is enjoying his day yeah it's funny though because you you said he he doesn't have a chance of winning in your opinion no but i feel like his his even keelness could could be a strength could carry him through maybe you're right
Starting point is 00:47:47 yeah maybe you're right it's just depends if i think in a 10 episode series of taskmaster you can be chill for some of it and that might carry you through some of it but i think at some point you need to really kick on and get a little bit competitive yeah okay especially in the prize tasks and the and the uh and the live tasks i think but we'll see i love alan he's a a great contestant um desiree uh desiree pretty did pretty well i mean i thought she did okay just not particularly green uh i just love her i can listen to her commentating on her own tasks all the time yeah i think she's great she's really good um but not not the greenest uh not the cleanest and not the quickest crucially uh under this new scoring system uh victoria cora mitchell uh covers the face covers the face first uh like a murderer would uh before uh she chopped up the corpse um so under Greg's scoring system, it's one point for Victoria,
Starting point is 00:48:46 two points for Desiree, three points for Alan, amazingly four points for Guz, just crazy. And five points for Morgana. I think she deserved the five, but Guz, after the devastation he left, should have been one point, shouldn't it?
Starting point is 00:49:01 Yeah, well, someone else would say that. It was a travesty and i feel bad well they might feel bad for vick who tidied for a long time yeah and ended up with one point because of it yeah yeah but that's not you saying that that's what that's paul shmilliams yes he's a local uh. He's a local real estate agent. Paul Schmilliams real estate. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:32 And he became a real estate agent because he instinctively knows layouts, right? Yes. Yes. He's very good at that. He's a great guy. He's a dear friend of mine. Yeah. You know him, right?
Starting point is 00:49:47 I know Paul Shmelium, yeah. I mean, it had everything. That had everything, that attempt. Disasters. There was blame apportioned. Because you presumably thought Alex should have been watching it as it was slipping out of its harness and warned you in time. Well, it's not a team thing, but I thought we was friends.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Actually, I'll tell you what made it loose as well? He was like, I'll slap it again, guys. LAUGHTER He put that bit on the camera, I was slapping it four or five times, and he's like, I'll spit on your hand, and I was like, all right then. And I was slapping and slapping it, and then it came really loose because of that slapping business. I liked it when you slapped it. We all liked it when you slapped it.
Starting point is 00:50:21 We loved it. There's no-one here who didn't enjoy that slap. Yeah, I know. Live task. Put on the medallion. You must not take off your jacket or break the box. Fastest wins. Now, I enjoyed this one, Paul. I'd imagine you enjoyed watching this one as well.
Starting point is 00:50:35 It had elements of escape rooms. We have done escape rooms together before. We have, big time. You have the most crazy escape room energy i've ever seen in that you're not worried or panicked or uh in a rush at all yet you just get things done uh i seem to remember a particular moment uh where we were in escape room together i think i i think it was i guess it was me charlie my wife uh rose and you i think were in in that particular escape room.
Starting point is 00:51:06 And we were desperately trying to get stuff done. And there was this box that was locked, like a cryptex thing, and it clearly had something in. We were like, well, that's really hard. We'll just leave that till later and put it to one side. And we were all focusing on something else.
Starting point is 00:51:18 And you just wandered off. And then you appeared 30 seconds later. You'd found the code. And we said, how did you do that, Paul? And you were like, well, I don't know. I still not fully sure how I did that. But huge for me. I also have a very bad memory of one where we did it
Starting point is 00:51:37 and they made us wear, put on like army jackets because it was like a military bunker. And we got really hung up for a long period of time and eventually it turned out i had the key in the pocket of the jacket i was wearing and that haunts me to this day yeah so actually watching this watching this must have brought back some horrible memories because it was triggering i i honestly i fast forwarded through the live task because i couldn't watch that well i'll tell you how it went basically guz got it almost immediately and everyone else was a real paul williams in this situation
Starting point is 00:52:16 uh they'd completely forgotten there was a key in there they were looking for keys it was an absolute disaster victoria corinne mitchell didn't actually manage to put the medallion on in at all by the end um so it was five points for guz who was brilliant one point for vcm two points for morgana three points for alan four points for desiree meaning at the end of this episode guz was the winner 20 points for guz uh 17 points for morgana alan and desiree both on 16 points uh and victoria cora mitchell bottom place 13 points uh putting guz in the lead in the series so far um but we're only two episodes in um now paul obviously you don't know a lot of these contestants you're not familiar with them but from what you've seen so far in this first two episodes of the series,
Starting point is 00:53:06 what do you think? Who do you think is going to win? I think it's going to be incredibly tight. Yeah, it's a hard one to pick. I'm going to... I think... I think I'm going to go with Morgana. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:25 It's a good shout at this stage, I think, because she's clearly very invested. It's early days, but she's got an energy about her that to me screams champion. Yes. Or she's just absolutely going to spiral oh yeah she's first or last yeah yeah yeah i completely agree
Starting point is 00:53:52 so paul we've got some emails we asked for some emails for you a lot of lovely emails uh about uh about taskmaster and and your music as well the music ones were mainly like we love paul's music and i agree some great albums out there so no question just yeah just yeah just a statement please tell paul i love his music um uh this is a nice one from sean in bournemouth hi ed hi paul uh what i love about taskmaster nz is you don't just copy the tasks from taskmaster uk they're so different which is excellent do you paul have a favorite task from the uk series and ed do you have a favorite task from the new Zealand series. Love what you're doing. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Well, Sean, thank you for the question. I've got a lot of favorites from New Zealand. Like I say, I haven't finished watching the second season yet. I'm very much enjoying it. But I think it's maybe even the first task, or it's in the first episode of Taskmaster New Zealand, the cocktail where they have to make a cocktail. And this is when I was like, oh, let's see what this show's like.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Let's see how they're doing it, how they're tackling it. And it's particularly my favourite moment of yours in that first episode and really establishes you, I think, Paul, with, is it Lee Hart makes the cocktail and then uses a leaf blower to blow the entire thing into your face and it's just the fact it's exactly my humor it's like bullying um the entire cocktail flies out of the glass together like there's no like drips it's just a whole cocktail straight into your face and you do not flinch you just take it like a champ and i was it kind of went so far up my nose that for literally three days i could smell his cocktail
Starting point is 00:55:52 it was like embedded inside my my head it was it was not good and is who's coming up with the task are you involved in coming up with the task or is it yeah yeah it's um there's a there's a few of us but um yeah it's it's kind of a little team me me a guy sam smith uh a guy joseph moore and then the producers um yeah well you've done an amazing job there's some great great tasks it's a lot it's a lot of fun um in terms of the uk my my favorite task that's so hard and i can't believe i didn't i don't have like a definitive answer but um obviously 12 seasons there's a lot being a lot yeah but one that i i always think of that um i really wish i could do it was just the it's like at a train um like a train kind of yes the train depot yeah i know exactly yeah and
Starting point is 00:56:48 you're basically just trying to sneak up on on alex but um yeah season eight it's an it's a it's a classic it's a classic one uh i'm not yeah so i'm not saying that's my favorite task but it's one that i always just think i would have been so fun to do. Yeah, no, I agree. And that's the one that ends up with, I think Lou tries to hide in a bin and run along. Yeah, no, it's a really good task and it looks beautiful as well. They shot that one incredibly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:16 This is from Matt in California. This is a good question. Hello, Ed and Paul. First, I would like to say that both Taskmaster New Zealand seasons are in my top five favorite taskmaster series ever um that's fine matt but we're not going to pass that on uh to to the team um my question for paul is how does he keep his composure during the more chaotic tasks with alex he always laughs and giggles when something very funny
Starting point is 00:57:41 happens that's true and alex started laughing more you know it's really going wrong if alex covers his face up with his clipboard but with paul he just keeps the same open mouth straight face expression throughout all the tasks whether he is having an awkward conversation uh with angela dravid uh or watching david correos have one of his mental breakdowns or having to deal with his brother guy thank you guys for both being very entertaining uh your friend matt from california basically paul what's wrong with you why why i it's yeah it's hard it's um it's definitely hard and there's definitely times when i i i lose it like in in season one um there was a task that was um um there was a task that was um uh commit a crime you cannot break any laws yeah and lee hart kind of thought about it for a long time and then he kind of just like went into the kitchen
Starting point is 00:58:36 and started cooking and he prepared a uh toasted cheese, which he then gave to me. And I was kind of like, what's the crime? And he was like, I kind of forgot about the whole crime thing. And I've just done this. And then he started trying to retroactively make up crimes that he did while preparing this toasted cheese sandwich. And he was like, it's a rubbish toasted cheese sandwich. I the wrong cheese i put um he put mustard in it i think and then we ate the toasted cheese sandwich and no lie it was the nicest sandwich i've ever eaten in my life and basically i could not stop laughing for an hour just um so basically the answer to the question
Starting point is 00:59:27 is you've got a very specific sense of humor paul that the sort of thing yes that really makes you laugh is someone making you a lovely cheese sandwich yes yeah yes um that's about it that's the one the one thing that'll get me that's great this is from julia in nyc new york city dear ed first of all not a question just wanted to say that paul williams's album surf music slaps top to bottom 10 out of 10 um there we go told you there were loads of those wow um second of all thank you what what was it like to be the taskmaster's assistant uh um over your brother in season one of tmnz thank you over my brother it says over your brother but i i guess i think she means with you what was it like to have your brother on the show yes when you were the task
Starting point is 01:00:11 master's assistant i don't think she's suggesting that you were down to the last two uh and yes they went with you over your brother i think she just literally that is what happened yeah yeah yeah we there was we had a whole show actually based on it was like the bachelor but it was just to find the the um taskmaster's assistant and we both got final two and i yeah i edged him in the last challenge which was a um a sort of survivor style like balancing endurance thing yeah um but i uh it was at times frustrating uh for instance it was one time when i was just telling him not to damage the desk and he started damaging the desk um you know like he he sort of he sort of uh i think would go out of his way to disobey
Starting point is 01:01:10 anything i said yeah yeah i think that's definitely true and that's i mean that's definitely what they hoped for when they booked him for it i think i think that's exactly the energy they wanted um it is fun watching uh watching your show as well because i think that's exactly the energy they wanted um it is fun watching uh watching your show as well because i think because the probably the community's tighter um and everyone definitely knows each other uh so you get things like you get things like your brothers on the show so that relationship is there you get things like you're really good probably yeah i'm sure yeah yeah she'll pop up you get guy montgomery on this series wearing a different t-shirt with uh your your face on as a different sort of stages of
Starting point is 01:01:52 your childhood printed on his t-shirt did you know he was going to do that i did not know he was going to do that and well firstly i didn't know he was going to have my face on his his uh task outfit yeah and then yeah and then the studio thing really caught me off guard again when he had it for the episode one and then for episode two when he i think he started with a shirt covering it yeah to reveal that he had a different photo um and then by the 30 episode i was like okay i can see this is going to be every episode now. But no, it was a real shock. This is from Neo in the Philippines. This is our first email from the Philippines, Paul.
Starting point is 01:02:34 Wow. Hey, Adam, Paul. I'd just like to ask Paul if his iPad really controls all the footage and keeps track of the scores or not. And if not, how dare you? In the studio? Yeah. i think he's yeah he wow he's wondering if if you're actually in control when i met alex uh for the first time that was like the main question i had for him was like what's the layout on his ipad during the live shows and um one of the first rules of being a taskmaster's assistant is
Starting point is 01:03:08 never reveal i see what is on the ipad um i yeah i don't feel comfortable talking about that and honestly i don't i didn't like the tone of the question um well that's the last time we get an email from the philippines thanks paul I didn't like the tone of the question. Well, that's the last time we get an email from the Philippines. Thanks, Paul. Let's ask one more. This is from Emily. Hi, I'm a huge fan of both Taskmaster UK and Taskmaster NZ.
Starting point is 01:03:37 My question for Paul is, if you and little Alex Horne had to swap Taskmasters, how do you think you would get along with Greg and how would Alex get along with Jeremy? Hmm. Fastmasters, how do you think you would get along with Greg and how would Alex get along with Jeremy? Firstly, I do think Alex Horne is taller than me. So if he's little Alex Horne... How tall is Alex? Do you know? I think he's 6'2 or 6'3 maybe. Yeah, right, because I'm 6'1.
Starting point is 01:04:04 I'm 6'1 yeah I'm 6'1 and I'm generally considered tallish yeah average to tallish but that would be the first thing
Starting point is 01:04:14 would be I think that size like Greg's size would be more apparent by a couple inches yeah what would Greg call you minuscule Paul Williams yeah
Starting point is 01:04:24 yeah yes yeah pocket Paul yeah by a couple inches. Yeah, what would Greg call you? Minuscule Paul Williams. Yeah, yes. Yeah. Pocket Paul. Yeah, Pocket Paul. Yeah. And suddenly, you know, Alex would be, you know, he'd probably be big Alex Horne probably. He's probably similar height, if not taller, to Jeremy.
Starting point is 01:04:44 So maybe big Alex Horne um so that's the first thing i think i think jeremy and alex would get on really well i mean alex is a really nice guy so i can't imagine him clashing um over here yeah i think with anyone no i think he'd get on really well with with jeremy um i think if anything i think then his ego would get out of control i think greg actually keeps a cap on his ego quite well yeah right and if he came over and started you know being treated well and you know being getting candles getting yeah getting posh candles i don't think his ego could cope with it so i think he's he's where think he's where he belongs. Right.
Starting point is 01:05:25 And I think Greg would crush you. I would be very scared, I think. Yeah. I don't need, yeah. Honestly, I don't even want to think about it. Paul, thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast. At the end of the Taskmaster podcast every week, I ask my guests to rate their experience on the podcast
Starting point is 01:05:49 between one and five points in the style of Taskmaster. Now, obviously, you are not used to scoring. You don't want to put yourself out there doing scoring because that's very much the Taskmaster job. But on this occasion, Paul, would you give the Taskmaster podcast a rating between one and five points? Four.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Ooh, four. Now would you like to justify that drop off of a point there? So you assumed you were going to get five? I don't know. I thought we've had a lovely chat. Not seen each other in a long time. I read out that email about your album slapping top to bottom. Thank you for that.
Starting point is 01:06:32 That's what got you up from a three, to be honest. I got to knock a point that's from New Zealand for Edging Rose in season nine. Okay, great. That's from New Zealand. I'll take that. So I'm losing a point now for being too good. Yeah, not too good again.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Rose intentionally came second. But yeah, on behalf of New Zealand, I'm giving you a four. Rose intentionally came second. But, yeah. On behalf of New Zealand, I'm giving you a four. Fair enough. I'll take that. That is a classic New Zealand insult. Here's quite a good score. And can you, say you had like some gardening apparatus.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Where would you store that? I thought this wasn't going to come up. I'd store it in a shed, Paul. I'm sorry, what? What? Wait, what did you just say? A shed. S-H-E-D, Paul.
Starting point is 01:07:49 That is ridiculous. And you know what? I wouldn't have up in my shed a fish poster. Just as I wouldn't put a fush poster in my shit oh okay now you understand now it is fun hearing hearing shed said by every contestant on uh on taskmaster new zealand and saying i'm gonna go to the shed i mean you never get used to it it's absolutely hilarious if we get if we get a season three i want to bring over a british person yeah just to reverse just to reverse it yeah fair enough well i'm happy to i'm happy to be that guy i would love to have you we'd love to
Starting point is 01:08:33 have you please for one episode just to walk on and say and say shed everyone laughs and then i get on a flight home we'll do a we'll do a champions of champ a champion of champion season yeah with so after four seasons here we'll do the four new zealand champions yeah and you and me yeah and see how i get treated yeah fair enough yes paul williams thank you for coming on the taskmaster podcast settling those scores on behalf of your country and also if Greg was listening Paul wasn't trying to change any of your scores
Starting point is 01:09:10 that was Paul Schmilliams Paul is a dedicated global Taskmasters assistant and he will do whatever you want and if you're looking to sell your house Paul Schmilliams don't don't look any further
Starting point is 01:09:25 he's your guy thank you so much to both the Pauls bye bye thanks so much for having me there we are what a lovely chat with Paul Paul can come back on, he's such a nice boy excellent
Starting point is 01:09:40 we will be back of course next week talking about series 12 episode 3 the series rumbles on with force it's an excellent series Excellent. We will be back, of course, next week talking about Series 12, Episode 3. The series rumbles on with force. It's an excellent series. I cannot wait to watch next week's episode. And our special guest next week on the Taskmaster podcast will be Desiree Birch. Yes, Desiree Birch, who is on Series 12. What a coincidence. We'll be chatting to her about her experience on Taskmaster,
Starting point is 01:10:06 her highlights, her lowlights of the three episodes so far, no spoilers can't wait to have Desiree on we'll be back next week dropping straight after Taskmaster which is on 9pm Channel 4 and then all four afterwards. Thank you very much for listening to the Taskmaster podcast, we will see you again next week, goodbye! We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.
Starting point is 01:10:40 We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.

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