Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 6. Jess Knappett

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

On this week's podcast Ed is joined by writer, actor, comedian, and Series 7 contestant Jess Knappett! The pair discuss why Jess thinks she came 2nd place on the show, prize tasks, falling off the sta...ge and the Knappett x Godliman Soap opera 'Cul-de-Sac'. They also look at the latest episode of Series 10 which involved silent cocktails, scary rooms, and some hysteria over a drawing of a hippo. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com   Sales, advertising and general enquiries:daisyk@avalonuk.com  Taskmaster is on Channel 4 Thursdays at 9pm and you can catch the family friendly version Sundays on E4 at 6pm. Taskmaster the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. episode first turn off now and go if you hear this first you'll ruin the show but if you've seen it that's fine you're welcome to listen to this podcast ed gamble welcome to the taskmaster podcast we are going to be chatting this week about episode 6 of series 10 of taskmaster i thought it was about time we had a theme tune.
Starting point is 00:01:06 You might recognise the tune. It's from the League of Gentlemen, and I've set my own words to it. But, very important, I said it within that, go and watch the episode first. This is not your entry point into this series of Taskmaster. Go and watch all the episodes first, and then listen to us chat about it. Another brilliant episode, over halfway through now. Who would have thought it? It's gone so quickly. go and watch all the episodes first and then listen to us chat about it another brilliant episode over halfway through now who would have thought it it's gone so quickly uh and we have a brilliant special guest this week to dissect and discuss everything that happened on this
Starting point is 00:01:35 week's episode the guest is the wonderful jess nappet yes she's an actual good person from series seven we are very lucky to have her uh looking forward to hearing what she thinks of this series of taskmaster this set of contestants and everything that happened this week obviously taskmaster is on thursday nights channel 4 9 p.m family friendly version sundays e4 6 p.m um i genuinely don't know what they're doing, family-friendly version-wise, about Daisy in the studio tasks. I'll be intrigued to see it.
Starting point is 00:02:13 So, let's crack on with the episode. I'll do more admin stuff after, tell you about the Taskmaster store. I'll tell you now, it's taskmasterstore.com. Christmas presents and all that. Some really fun merch on there. Taskmaster YouTube channel. channel loads more deleted scenes extra content a little a little um compilation this week went up uh a sort of tribute to greg um and i saw a few people slightly worried that he was dead because that's what it looked like looked like it looked like it was a
Starting point is 00:02:45 tribute to him because he died um falling down a hole that's how i'd imagine it's gonna happen uh so let's crack on let's chat to jess nappet i will see you on the other side of this okay bye welcome jess nappet to the taskmaster podcast, Ed. So exciting to have you on. Our second Season 7 alum on the podcast. We had James Acaster last week. Yes. Here you are to save the day
Starting point is 00:03:15 and pick up after him. Finally, someone who actually did well in that series is going to be on the podcast. Oh, that's a bit harsh. James did alright, didn't he? He came second bottom. He came second bottom. Yeah, he was very...
Starting point is 00:03:28 A lot of people forget that because I always think, oh, maybe he came third. But no, he came second bottom. He didn't do well. He, yeah. Well, that does surprise... See, you forget, don't you?
Starting point is 00:03:40 Because you only really remember the winner. You only remember the winner and, of course, you who came second. Do you remember that? I do remember that. Of course I do. Because I only came second by a point. Yeah, it was so close. You and Kerry up the top there, absolutely vying for the top spot.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Does that still hurt, Jess? Look, I'll be honest. It does, yeah. still hurt Jess look I'll be honest it does yeah I I want look I'm glad that it was Kerry because I really I I was rooting for Kerry because I just really love her not that I don't love the other people but I and I felt that she just was doing consistently great work on that show. So she deserved it, but it was, it smarts, it still smarts. I still blame my prize task for losing actually, even though the real reason I lost was because I couldn't tell the difference between James Acaster's sausage or finger, which is sort of fine because in a way i could never have prepared for that yeah there's no way you can train you can train for that sort of thing
Starting point is 00:04:49 no unless we'd have had our own little secret um but that but yeah and i think that that was obviously that was upsetting. But really, I think the thing that got me on that last episode was I brought in a bad prize task. Will you take us through what that bad prize task was, if it's not too painful? The thing is, it was a pencil. It was best stationery. It was best stationery, bring in the best stationery or something like that
Starting point is 00:05:26 and i brought in my pencil that says i've completed my transportation survey 1999 and i actually do love that pencil i think it's the best pencil it's a great pencil and i had a little joke to back it up to greg which is what you need. You need to just make him have a little chuckle, which is that I hadn't completed my transportation survey 1999. That's the humour of the pencil. That's the humour of the pencil. It's ironic. And he loved it at the time. He was very tickled by it.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And that's what hurts the most. Because then Kerry brought in a laminator and they both just lost their minds over the wonder of a laminator which you might even argue isn't stationary and then here's the thing that annoyed me about it was that Greg claimed you know he laughed all the way through my state my pencil and then when the laminator came and he just completely forgot how much he loved my pencil and then he started just handing out points willy nilly to all the other guests and i ended up with something like two points whereas if he'd actually given me the points in response to how much he loved it at the time anyway look if you're early with the prize task if they come to you
Starting point is 00:06:46 first for the prize task it's got to be absolutely amazing it's got to get a round of applause from the audience to stick in greg's mind because otherwise if he works his way down the placing matters that's so true it really does i was you know i was hung by the placing a lot to be honest but you won so i did win, yeah. So you can't really complain about any of your- Yeah, sorry about that. Yeah. But you must have had some highlights as well, Jess.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Oh, I mean, the whole thing was just a joy and all I do is just try and think of ways that I can have Taskmaster back in my life. Yeah. Which I can't. And that's the other reason why I'm so upset that I lost because I still think if I have won, there's still a chance that they might do another Champion of Champions.
Starting point is 00:07:34 You must think about that all the time. That means you get to do it again. Because nothing will ever be as fun. I've been miserable ever since. No, I just honestly can't tell you how much I loved that show. I was borderline hysterical all the way through it. I think they must have cut out about 20 hours of just hysterical laughter. I was like a child. You are responsible for one of my favourite Taskmaster moments. I know what you're going to say.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I'm a very basic man when it comes to humour. I chuckle at very standard things. And what am I going to say, Jess? When I fell off the stage, yes. When you fell off the stage, of course. But you had to do a funky walk, was it? And then hit the drum at the end. Yeah, you had to do the silliest walk.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Everyone else was blindfolded. You had to do the silliest walk. Everyone else was blindfolded. You had to do the silliest walk. And then there was some sort of timing to it. It had to take 10 seconds or anything. Obviously, it took me a little bit longer than 10 seconds. Because what I did was I thought, I'll pretend to fall off the stage. Because that will make Greg laugh. And that will be silly.
Starting point is 00:08:43 So I pretended. And then i did my pretend recovery and then i actually fell off the stage it was perfect oh it was so good and then but everyone was genuinely quite concerned yeah there's a moment where greg leapt up from his chair where i was like oh no this might be serious because he's really worried about this but then i was like they've left it in the edits it's probably not she's probably not dead at least. If I had have died doing that,
Starting point is 00:09:07 I definitely would have liked them to have aired it. Yeah. Oh, for sure. It felt like- As a tribute. Have you seen Catchphrase? When that clip from Catchphrase, where the presenter appears at the top of the stairs in the audience to run down to start the show
Starting point is 00:09:21 and he trips and falls down the stairs and then it immediately hard cuts to him in the studio being like well that was two days ago and i broke my foot it felt like they might do that they used to like you fall off and then they cut to later and you're sat on the set oh it would have been great wouldn't it that moment i now i'm sort of most known for and that's the thing that I probably get messaged about the most well you've made a lasting effect on Taskmaster more than a lot of people do because they've named that stage after you I know I'm it's the Nappet stage it's called the Nappet I know I got a little um I got a little photo message from Andy Andy D the director yeah I was absolutely delighted
Starting point is 00:10:06 it's really cool yes I know that is cool now you're known for that sure but I think another highlight the more people should be talking about is the soap that you and Kerry did oh cul-de-sac I love it when you see people use their actual skills in Taskmaster and the acting chops flying around between you and Godlin was quite astonishing. Oh yeah, RSC, here we come. I mean, I don't know why I didn't get more calls actually after that. Yeah, it was an absolute joy that, it was a joy. I want to see more of it. I know, I do. I actually thought this is, cause as someone who spends a really long time
Starting point is 00:10:48 writing scripts and sometimes shooting them, it takes ages. And that's the bit that's really boring and makes it in many ways, not worthwhile. Doing that and then being able to do it just completely on the spot and make it up, you know, writing what is basically a sketch but is a soap opera.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Proper serious soap opera. In minutes with your mate. I think you and Kerry just need to get together, when you can, get a room and write at least maybe a half an hour ep. He's the best I ever had, Donna! You can't be with him, Donna. Why? Because you're his mum!
Starting point is 00:11:45 So let's move on to the current series. What are your thoughts about how this series is going and the contestants? Oh, well, I mean, it's a great series, isn't it? It really is. I am really enjoying it. Lots of laughing out loud for me. I feel like, I don't know about you,
Starting point is 00:12:08 this cast seemed to me to be the most sort of emotionally volatile. Yeah, I think so. There's a lot of hysteria. There's a lot of emotion. I don't know if that's, I don't know if it's studio... Here's what I think. Mawaan, to me, seems like the only person who's holding it together. I do agree with that.
Starting point is 00:12:35 He's holding it together, whereas you've got Richard Herring, who seems incredibly stressed and anxious. He's sort of, like, quietly stressed most of the time. He's getting on with it. incredibly stressed and anxious. He's sort of like quietly stressed most of the time. He's getting on with it. He's getting on with it. He's working hard, but yeah, it feels like his life's falling apart. But it's anxious.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Catherine is on the brink of bursting into tears at any given moment. Correct. Which I'm really enjoying. Johnny is always on the brink of falling apart. That's who he is. Although I would say his persona seems, he's slightly more clear-headed than I was expecting him to be.
Starting point is 00:13:18 He seems quite a lot more together. Maybe in comparison, now we've seen what it looks like when people fall apart. He's seen Richard Herring and he's just thought, come on, you need to sort your life out. Yeah, I'm not going to go that way. But he's also always just treading that fine line, isn't he? Along the line of tragedy.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I mean, when he... I can't remember which episode was it, when he let go of the balloons. Yeah. That to me is just... It was heartbreaking. Yeah, it was a heartbreaking classic Johnny Vegas moment. That's what I'm watching it for. And then Daisy, who I adore. I mean, I love them all, but I've loved Daisy for a long time from this country and I'm big fan and her rage has really taken me by surprise
Starting point is 00:14:08 and but i've but i sort of noticed kind of stroppy and sulkiness from her which has been delightful in past but it's built it has built over the episodes because she was so chilled for the first two like and even just the way she does prize tasks just goes like oh this this she's like she's so funny but she just her thing was she couldn't really care less and every episode now there's a new bit of rage just sneaking in you can tell she she sniffs a victory I think and she doesn't know how to handle it yeah it's competition I I was thinking that because I definitely started the same way and not that i ever got angry about things but i definitely as it as it got closer to being able to win i definitely really wanted to win i never went in wanted but i can i can
Starting point is 00:14:57 relate to that and i think that that's the beauty of the show is that as the episodes wear on people get more and more competitive do you think anyone on this cast came in wanting to win i think richard herring is he's sort of a bit like james was in our series in the sense that he he's obviously watched a lot of episodes and he believes he knows how the mind of the taskmaster works. Yeah. And so he thinks he can play to that. The difference being, I think Richard is actually doing that. Whereas I think James realized episode one
Starting point is 00:15:32 that he'd horribly misjudged it. So we've discussed prize tasks a little bit already. You talked about the injustice of the pencil uh event what do you think your best prize task was it's funny because sometimes you sometimes what would happen is you'd go into thinking oh no i've completely lost confidence in this this was a bad did that ever happen to you every single time oh why did i bring this prize in and and then and then what you have to do is you have to work on your defence.
Starting point is 00:16:07 For the defence alone, I would say my worst gift from a relative was quite, I can't remember points-wise what I got for it, but it was a feather boa and some long opera gloves that my mum gave me to wear for the school disco. Yeah. And I remember thinking, oh God, this is just so crap. It's just going to look rubbish.
Starting point is 00:16:31 And then, and I don't know what I'm going to say. And then in the moment I explained to Greg that the reason it was such a bad present because what happens when you get given that and you wear it to the school disco is you do not get fingered and then what was so nice was that james then picked up on that i'd like me i would like to hold a whole story about my my friend now um go you know and then james was like was pretending that he was married to nell and it just became a whole kind of fun thing once you get a running joke started and once you've made a fingering joke you thing. Once you get a running joke started,
Starting point is 00:17:05 and once you've made a fingering joke, you know you're going to get good points, right? I don't even know if I did. You know, sometimes people bring things in that are just plain brilliant, and there's no arguing with it. Like when Kerry brought in, I think it was most confusing thing,
Starting point is 00:17:21 and Kerry brought in the wires behind her television. Yeah, but that's pure Kerry, right? It was classic Godlyman Bosch. Like funny, observational, universal, domestic, classic Godlyman. Classic Godlyman. So good. But this week's prize task in series 10 was most narcissistic thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Do you have any idea? Did anything occur to you when you saw that? Here's what I'd bring in straight away. Well, I'll tell you what occurred to me was if that had been a task that I'd been given, I'd immediately think everyone's bringing in a self-portrait. Yeah. I mean, I think Mwan really went went for the right i mean a shrine to yourself that was also that was genuinely something that he'd made when he
Starting point is 00:18:14 was 14 or whatever it made me respect to him yeah huge respect to him that was incredible that was easily the winner as well you know when. You know when you see something and it gets, you know, round of applause and there's no way anything else is going to beat that. A shrine to himself. A shrine to himself. With some lovely pictures as well. And he admitted to sometimes lighting a candle and just looking at it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:43 And he was like, that was me on my shoulder. Yeah. It was just, that was and he was like that was me on my shoulder yeah it was just that was lovely i think i mean i like to think that i would have gone a little bit outside the box with it that's what you've got to do right you can't just i think i would have gone here's an idea a polaroid camera that every photo you take is of me. What, the camera, you give the camera to someone and they have- And they take a photo, but the photo that comes out is always of me.
Starting point is 00:19:16 So hang on, this is an amazing invention. I mean, let's, okay, let's role play this. I had to do a role play with James last week as well. So Jess, you have brought in, you have brought in a polaroid camera that you point at anything and it pops up with a picture of you yeah how does it work you pop to the eiffel tower you take a picture out it comes oh it's just not there so you go and take a picture of Ed Gamble. Oh, hang on a minute, it's just not there. Amazing. So how did you invent this? How does it work? If I opened it up, how does it work?
Starting point is 00:19:54 Well... Good point. It's just full of pictures of me my face instead of a um what do you call it a film now i'll be i think that could be invented i think you've actually done that there because i thought what you've done is just invented a concept and just crossed your fingers that no i'm actually going to make it it's going to be it's going to be something that i have to make yeah but that but that's the hard bit it's all very well isn't it so you take loads of polaroid pictures and then load those up in a polaroid camera so they just spit out whatever yeah oh well here's another idea
Starting point is 00:20:37 i would rewrite a classic book but i'd change the lead character to myself or something like uh Shakespearean sonnets and I'd change all the thousands of these to Jess Knappert I think that's great I think that's thinking outside the box it's incredibly narcissistic um I think that in this series would have got four points because I don't think anything's beating Mawaan's shrine to himself I think that's that's it yeah and then your book or polaroid camera is four points maybe a joint five it certainly beats the rest of them i mean the thing is the jigsaw was good but but he didn't he didn't even really try to sell it in did he no i think he'd look he'd really lost hope in that he lost confidence and i
Starting point is 00:21:22 understand that i relate to that feeling. It's nothing worse. Catherine's moulding was beautiful. I think she should have backed that up more. The fact that she'd painted it beautifully and put all those incredible plants in the head and sort of made herself into, and I quote Richard Herring,
Starting point is 00:21:39 a nature goddess. But she did all right, didn't she get quite good points for that? She got three points. So Richard got two points for the jigsaw. Catherine got three for the nature goddess. Johnny got four points for the Lego. And I'm not sure about that because it was something to entertain his kid.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Yeah. It was quite a nice little... It was a nice idea, wasn't it? But only one of them really looked like Johnny. Yeah. Tricky. Tricky with Lego. And two points for Daisy.
Starting point is 00:22:03 And then obviously five points uh to muan and i'm giving you well deserved five points actually a joint five points for your polaroid camera slash uh classic novel jess let's move on to first task proper uh which is silently make make the tastiest cocktail with the coolest name now this immediately i love the idea of this i love the idea of doing a cocktail one or a food one or something like that but But I think I would have really struggled on the quiet thing. That's not something I do well. No, and it looked easier than I'm sure it was. So the second I saw it, I thought, well, that's...
Starting point is 00:22:55 You can easily make a cocktail quietly. Yeah. And then, of course, you realise exactly how much clanging you have to do and how quiet 60 decibels is. It's so quiet, isn't it? It's very, very quiet. Mawaan couldn't believe it. Everything he did at the beginning,
Starting point is 00:23:10 Alex was saying, no, that's over 60 decibels. He was going, no! It's not, is it? He was gobsmacked every single time he did it. Oh, God, and it was such a great to see them all having to shout. It was absolutely a thing of beauty to watch, wasn't it? It really was.
Starting point is 00:23:32 But I mean, there's some very bad choices made by people, I think. Specifically, I think Johnny and Richard both decided to open a bottle of sparkling wine. I mean, you're not gonna... What are you doing? It's the noisiest drink. And those... I mean you're not gonna what are you doing it's the noisiest drink and those but then it seemed like you had there was no way of getting to liquid without making noise because it seemed to me like everything was in a pressurized canister I'm not sure there was a bottle of what there's no drink you can open quietly it's no what I realized I think then i would have gone okay well i can't open any of
Starting point is 00:24:05 those bottles so i'll you know cut try and cut open some fruit but then of course that's going to be noisy and then i think one of them i think rich i think i i think richard did the thing that i was like oh that's what you've got to do is you've got to just open something shout your thing open another thing shout but then you so as long as you haven't poured it into the glass yeah you don't have to throw anything away but here's how you should just done a series of prep yes exactly like loads of prep and then very quietly tried to put something into a glass i think that was the way that most people worked out how to do it apart from katherine who just poured a glass of think that was the way that most people worked out how to do it apart from Catherine who just poured a glass of milk which was absolutely beautiful I felt so bad for Catherine because I think she was doing really well with the cocktail she had a couple of attempts at it and they kept
Starting point is 00:24:54 failing and I think she probably values being a good host I can imagine if you go over to Catherine's yeah she throws a good party and she like makes nice drinks and she's like this is my famous cocktail I don't know what I mean I've never met her uh but that's I'm just getting that from her on taskmaster that she'd be a good host and she devastated this seemed to be going against all of her instincts she was very very stressed this is I mean this is what I mean about Catherine she's just on the brink of tears yeah all the time and I just feel I just really feel for her fear I know I know that stress yeah and we said that in the first in the first episode we noticed Catherine seemed to be on the brink of tears and now seeing some of her tasks
Starting point is 00:25:37 I can see why because episode one she's probably thinking think about all the awful things I've done that might be coming up. She knew, she knew that and it was all in her eyes. Oh, God, she's just a delight though, isn't she? I love Catherine. I love her whole demeanour. Yeah. Now, Johnny spat the carver in, which... But that didn't even make sense because the opening of the Carver bottle was the thing that was the noisy thing, not the pouring of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:12 I don't know what he was thinking. So he would have had to have poured it. I know he swigged it out of the bottle, didn't he? And then spat it in. The swigging and the spitting, that's not reducing the volume. I guess he was trying to negate the glug. Because you can't control the glug, right? But I guess if you're taking a swig and then you can control your own spit and probably do that.
Starting point is 00:26:36 You can tip the glass though, can't you? Oh, yeah. Look, I don't think there was any need for him to spit. But as someone who in Taskmaster has spat in a cup and made Alex Horn drink drink it before let me tell you there's never a reason but it's always funny um so five points for muwan for bin juice i think he's the only person who thought outside the box he realized just make the cocktail in the bin oh then you have to worry about the noise there was hair i loved alex just listing off all of the things that were in the bin. It was quite dirty, that bin.
Starting point is 00:27:08 Yeah. Some hair. Yeah. And a bottle top. Was there a bottle top in there? There was a bottle top. Mouan put that on as a little bit of decoration. As a garnish.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Yeah. And called it bin juice. I just thought it was genius. It made me, I mean, he's absolutely smashing this episode so far. It's double five points. Yeah. Absolutely. It's my
Starting point is 00:27:25 highlight of the episode is within uh moan's uh cocktail making it's when he borrowed a fleece off a crew member oh and it had keys and it had keys in it and he was trying to wrap the cocktail shaker in it he puts keys in a fleece oh it's just perfect it's the only i know it's only taskmaster that sort of thing could happen on when anywhere else would you borrow a fleece to quietly shake a cocktail that it turns out there were keys in it i know i love the things this is the thing i love about the show is that you it's the things that you end up saying you never thought you'd say the stupid things people come out with it's just yeah yeah it's you
Starting point is 00:28:07 know you say things in taskmaster that you know no one else in the world has ever said during the entire history of time and we'll never say again so i had one where i was trying to put super glue into grapes so i could stick them back onto stalks and i'd not open the super glue and i said i've been injecting grapes with nothing which no one has ever said so points wise it was obviously five points from one again because that was just bin juice was stunning he thought outside the box it i think anytime you can make alex disgusted is good in greg's eyes yeah um whereas he quite enjoyed Johnny's, but Johnny's still got four points for the cloudy mule. It was a good name. It was a good name, yeah. That's the most cocktail-y sounding name, although I would order a cocktail called Bin Juice. And if Daisy had actually meant to call it Fucksake, that would have been great, but she didn't. She just called it Fucksake.
Starting point is 00:29:05 would have been great but she didn't she's called it fuck's sake she doesn't i don't think she works with puns daisy i think she's just if she's written fuck's sake she means fuck's sake yeah catherine milk one point i think that's harsh because i think there's probably a pop-up bar somewhere in east london that is serving milk as a cocktail absolutely well there's a bar there's a place that just serves cereal exactly cereal't there? Exactly, the Cereal Killer Cafe. Yeah, Cereal Killers. Exactly. So it should be next door in theory. You have to go from one to the other and then spoons opposite.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Milk got one point. Fuck's sake slash fuck's sake got two points. It doesn't matter horn, three points. Cloudy Mule, four points. Binge is five points. I feel like that's a fair got two points. It Doesn't Matter Horn, three points. Cloudy Mule, four points. Binge is five points. I feel like that's a fair lineup of points. Maybe I'd give Catherine one more point for Milk. And the rest of them seem fair to me.
Starting point is 00:29:54 I think it was, yeah. I think it was fair. I've done it again! Failure! Failure! Failure! Failure! Failure! Failure! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water.
Starting point is 00:30:31 We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. And now it's time to hear from our BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Oh, hello. It's Alex Horne here, your new BFF bonus fact finder. And I'm recording this from within the Taskmaster's airing cupboard, where I am trapped and happy. So today's bonus fact involves food, because I can exclusively reveal to you that Mawaan's bin juice from the silent cocktail task has not made it into my top five list of worst things I've put in my mouth during my time on Taskmaster.
Starting point is 00:31:37 So here for you is my top five worst things that I've put in my mouth during my time on Taskmaster. At number five, it's Bob Mortimer's face. At number four, it's a whole key lime pie that Jessica Nappet brought and that Greg Davis made me eat. Thank you, Greg. At number three now, it's dog food pasta made by Tim Key in Series 1. At number two, it's Ed Gamble's Spit in a Teacup. And at number one, it's Burnt Pornography Magazine that was force-fed to me by Lou Sanders. I should say the nicest thing I've ever eaten on the show was Hot Toothpaste Pie.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Do give it a go, it's delicious. And also, you don't need to brush your teeth after you've eaten it. Goodbye, everyone. I will see you next week. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. So, moving on to task two. Draw the animal that is watching you.
Starting point is 00:32:40 The animal is wearing a hat. You must look in the mirror at all times. Now, i'd say jess that taskmaster often feels like being in a saw film i don't know if you felt that when you walk in you don't know what's going to happen and you've got to work your way through it but this is the closest it's got to the saw franchise just the room it was in it felt like somebody'd be murdered in there the two-way mirror it was so creepy the animal wearing a hat had a sort of surrealistic horror feel to it absolutely terrifying they're not even denying it anymore are they they're just getting more and more sadistic it's an experiment into uh to human terror um so they had this button
Starting point is 00:33:18 if they hit the button they lost time but they got to see what was in the room essentially but didn't Richard have a funny name for that button the switto the switto because it was written backwards and he read it as switto it's supposed to be the clever one um would you have hit the button or would you have just panicked and just drawn any animal well this is the thing because would I have seen the button? Somebody didn't see the button. Was it Mouan again? Mouan again. But again, he just decided to look through. He just used his hands and just looked through the mirror.
Starting point is 00:33:54 It's the simplest way of doing it. Sometimes the simplest thing is the best. He's the Kerry Godlyman. Yeah. Certainly in this episode. Bear in mind in the first episode he tried to put helium in an egg. So he's up and down. That's true. I like to think but then I it's all very well saying this now hindsight's a wonderful thing. I think I would have guessed that it was a duck if I couldn't see it.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Okay. Now Jess that is a huge claim. That's an even bigger claim than you claiming you could invent a Polaroid camera that always developed photos of you. How? I couldn't see. Well, because, okay, there was another series where, no, this is stupid, but the duck, the rubber duck, hear me out, Ed, what it is, the rubber duck is synonymous with Taskmaster. And don't you try and tell me that it's not a motif. I'm agreeing with you. So I think that if I'd have, what I'm saying is,
Starting point is 00:35:08 if I'd have walked into that room being like, great, well, I can't see it. And then the sort of thing that would have happened to me would have been that I hadn't figured out where the button was, or I just missed something completely. That happened to me a lot. Yeah. Where I just didn't get it. Yeah. I think that I would have just, you know, like Johnny did. He was like, oh, they mean me. You know, an interpretation is required. Yeah. So anyway, if I hadn't have seen the button, that might have happened.
Starting point is 00:35:38 But you think you were confident that you would have guessed it was a duck. Yeah. I'm sticking with that. That is amazing. Well done, you. Five points. And I would have known it was wearing a fez. So five points to me. But no, if I'd have seen the button, I definitely would have pressed it.
Starting point is 00:36:00 But then, of course, the problems aren't solved there. It doesn't stop there does it then you've got to draw backwards in front of a mirror which looks very hard and you could tell how hard it is because the artist johnny vegas was very distressed yeah johnny was distressed i mean daisy and richard both hit the switto uh and saw the duck and lost time i thought daisy's was pretty good richard's was bad richard's was pretty good. Yeah, it was good. Richard's was a very bad drawing of a duck, but like you say, you have to draw it backwards. You couldn't quite make out it was a duck. Daisy's was quite good. I think Greg was overly
Starting point is 00:36:34 harsh on that piece of art. I liked Mouan's description of a duck. I can't remember. There was some conversation about ducks having big lips well here's so he managed to look through the mirror he didn't use the switto he just you know went route one and looked through the mirror like we say um but i thought his drawing was quite nice but greg claimed that he'd drawn a duck with lips and then moan then tried to argue that a beak is just hard hard lips i would have backed moana up on that i 100 back him on that i thought the drawing was judge poorly i actually think it was my favorite drawing
Starting point is 00:37:12 i think he should have got extra points for not using the switto and just looking through the mirror yes i think he was judged harshly there but maybe maybe greg didn't want him to run away with it in this episode because he's already got the maximum in the first two tasks and he doesn't like people to get cocky he doesn't but then also you would have thought at this stage maybe give Catherine a little confidence boost
Starting point is 00:37:33 the other way round because she I mean she assumed it was a rat so this is why I challenge you that you would have definitely guessed it was a duck because Catherine seemed confident that it was a duck because Catherine seemed confident that it was a rat that they had actual rats in there wearing little hats yeah okay well I don't know I just I think if it if it had been early on in the series I wouldn't have guessed it
Starting point is 00:37:58 was a duck I'll give you that it's only because ducks are used so often yeah well maybe if katherine had watched more of the show she would have realized that they never use rats no she deserved bottom place i think to be fair there aren't any i would say there aren't any other animals that are taskmaster animals interesting i'm sure someone will email in taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com if there is another Taskmaster animal. So let us know. Please, let us know. Please. Tweet me directly.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Is there a Taskmaster animal? Yeah. Tweet Jess directly. Now, Johnny, I think this is controversial. He was wearing a hat. So when he read that it was an animal in a hat in the mirror, he automatically assumed it was him and drew himself and it was a good self-portrait especially as he was doing it backwards i don't think he should have been given full points for that because he didn't spot the switto he didn't do a he didn't do a drawing of what was behind the mirror he didn't even guess it was a duck I mean as we all know you can just guess it was a duck I suppose also when you walk into that room it's pretty well I like to think it's pretty obvious that
Starting point is 00:39:10 it's not a mirror that it's a two-way mirror yes yeah 100% and I don't think I don't think on Taskmaster one of the tasks would be do a self-portrait looking in a mirror I just think it's that's too basic I think you should have thought that maybe there were some extra steps to it and I feel like the five points was maybe undeserved and look I like all of them but I don't think that was right I think uh Daisy got four points I think she should have got the five points and I think Moanne should have also got five points to be honest I think the other two fine points wise but I loved the way Moanne did the drawing i love the duck lips that sort of thing should be rewarded i would agree with that wholeheartedly we come to task three massively stressful task uh transfer the water from butt a to butt b
Starting point is 00:39:59 you may not move a butt in the first five minutes and then of course sneaky alex horn kicks out the bung in butt a and the water starts flooding out awful business an absolutely awful business i would have gone mad i would have gone mad at him i might have physically attacked him if i'd seen that he'd done that i would have been very upset during this task i definitely wouldn't have seen the water pouring out yeah who was it who said oh it's wet around here yeah it was of course catherine i think yeah going oh it's a bit wet around here completely missing what was going on yeah it was just it was just i don't like i I never really liked those physical tasks. It was a very clever task, but it was one of the, it was one of the ones that really felt like it was, it was designed to trick you.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Yeah, and it was designed to make you panic and stop you thinking outside the box. Like Daisy looked defeated straight away. Richard did his normal panicking dad and catherine reverted to type and got tried to get alex to lift the barrel for her because every single task she gets alex to help yes well this is i was going to i was going to bring this up because it's quite controversial to do that on taskmaster isn't it it is yeah to bring in the help of Alex Horne. And also I'm quite surprised how frequently he does it. It's usually the actresses.
Starting point is 00:41:30 I was very determined to not be that person. I didn't want to be seen. It's actresses who, I know the type, they're used to people doing things for them. That is a big swing from Jess Knappert. Sorry, Catherine. that is a big swing from jess nappet sorry catherine you can't just say do this move that do my task for me the thing is it's so enjoyable to see him in those awkward positions yeah doing stuff lifting butts but getting wet but you know having to rod gilbert was the one who utilized um alex the most in our series of course and it was it was enjoyable because you want it
Starting point is 00:42:14 you do want to see alex getting involved i think that's fine i think getting alex involved in that way in the way rod did by you know as a victim a victim, making him wear a bikini, tying him up, turning him into a bum fountain, I think is totally legitimate. But when it comes to lift this for me, I think he should be punished for that. You've got to draw the line at that. To be fair, quite often when Alex helps Catherine, it doesn't help her.
Starting point is 00:42:42 So it's just to stop her being completely humiliated so in this task she still came bottom so it's not like she suddenly came top because of Alex's help he is just there to stop to stop her being completely sort of devastated yes that's true I mean he is a hindrance that was my point of Alex if you if you ask him to help he will slow you down yeah i mean he just didn't even even the you know even the questions he asks when he is trying to help you are more confusing yeah yeah i don't think he ever really helped me he's there to befuddle certainly um johnny tried to plug the hole with mud which i thought was just the way he's dressed as well because he's there to befuddle certainly um johnny tried to plug the hole with mud which i thought was just the way he's dressed as well because he's dressed like a sort of country gent and
Starting point is 00:43:30 then he was packing that hole with mud it was like a chapter from a thomas hardy book yeah that was great that was but then it didn't only worked for a few seconds didn't it of course because mud gets wet famously famously. Mud gets wet. What were you supposed to do? I don't know. See, this is the thing. This is one of those tasks. They're very frustrating.
Starting point is 00:43:55 So he sets them a lot, Alex, where they're like riddles, but there's no answer to them. So you go, how do you get all that water from there to there? It's like the fox and the chicken and the grain, but there's an answer to them so you go how you get all that water from there to there it's like the fox and the chicken and the grain but there's an answer to that but he sets all these riddles that set up to them but doesn't come up with an answer so you need to find your own way of doing it and sometimes it's impossible but moan again this episode found the answer i thought this was an absolute genius move of using fresh water from a hose, funnelling it through butt A into butt B,
Starting point is 00:44:29 essentially made a little everlasting fountain. What an episode for him. That really, yeah. He really did absolutely nail that. There's absolutely no way I would have thought I'd have just been using a mug yeah but that's what it was designed to do I like to think
Starting point is 00:44:50 I would have eventually come up with what Mawaan did but I definitely wouldn't have done I would have used a mug I then almost certainly and I've written this down as I was watching it I would have started to try to transport it with my mouth I would have dunked my head under the water in butt A and I would have spated my head under the water in butt A
Starting point is 00:45:05 and I would have spat it into butt B. That's your five minutes gone, Catherine. Just roll it across. That's it. Ah, little bastard. There's a hole in the bottom. So we moved to the studio task. It's another drawing studio task.
Starting point is 00:45:22 It's a team drawing task. Draw the animal three lines at a time. Now, I'm someone who has a history with team drawing tasks in the studio and getting very angry. I had a meltdown at David Baddiel, which is probably the thing that's quoted back to me the most out of everything I've done on Taskmaster. But I think Daisy has now taken my crown in terms of anger during studio tasks because I couldn't believe it and it's not righteous anger she wasn't right to be angry because what she was drawing looked nothing like a hippo no it was I mean I have to say Daisy's fury has really taken me by surprise I didn't know she had it in her i knew she was because she does the sort
Starting point is 00:46:05 of petulant thing on on this country very well she's really funny yeah sulker and she had sulked earlier in the earlier in the series when the upside down film upside down chicken film yeah upside down chicken film was that was was poo-pooed wasn't it and she sulked and said she wasn't going to speak for the rest of the series and uh and i thought oh i mean it's very entertaining because she really meant it yeah she really really believed that it was very clear that she'd drawn a hippo and i need to see daisy and richard herring with their own show where daisy just shouts at richard herring and he physically cowers uh he couldn't say i mean richard herring is a man who's got something to say to everything and that is he looked so worried
Starting point is 00:46:57 he looked genuinely terrified but is what i want to know is is is this Daisy? Or is it the pregnancy talking? Is she hormonal? Because I know that rage and I've been there. But I don't know. I get the sense that this might just be her. I mean, I loved the quote from her, which was, I hate you more than my husband. Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Which gives you a lovely insight into their home life. Wonderful. I don't think they're playing Pictionary a lot. Let's be honest. Do you not think that that looks like a hippo? No. I even did the tail. I have three.
Starting point is 00:47:35 I don't know what a hippo's tail looks like. They can only have a small tail. Only elephants and hippos have that kind of tail. Just astonishing. What a brilliant, a brilliant display of rage from her. So after a wonderful episode from Juan, he is of course the victor.
Starting point is 00:47:52 He takes 22 points, which brings him up to a series total of 90, which has really redressed the balance. Second place in that episode was Johnny with 19. Then we've got Daisy with 14, Richard with 12, and sadly Catherine coming in bottom again with 10 points. And in terms of the series, Daisy's still in the lead on 105. She's broken into triple figures.
Starting point is 00:48:17 But then everyone else, apart from Catherine, is pretty close. Although there's still four episodes. If something goes very well for Catherine, I'm sure she can be in the running. But I feel like it might be a four-way race for the victory even now. And I know those sort of close points fill you with dread, Jess. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:37 I mean, that's where I think Daisy's rage was coming from because she doesn't want Richard sabotaging. It can feel that way. Yeah. Do you have any predictions? Who do you think might win? where i think daisy's rage was coming from because she just she doesn't want richard sabotaging it can feel that way yeah do you have any predictions who do you think might win the series well i like to i i think it's going to be either daisy or muwan nice i don't think we've had any predictions from the one yet but i can see why after this episode you'd say that. Certainly after this episode. I think it's anybody's game but Catherine's.
Starting point is 00:49:10 Simple. Now, some emails. We've had lots of questions from the listeners. They've emailed taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com with some questions for you. Did it hurt when you fell off the stage? You'll be unsurprised
Starting point is 00:49:28 to hear that there are some references to the stage and actually, I mean, do you want to do the air horn noise quickly?
Starting point is 00:49:39 Can do, yeah. Go on. Actually, that wasn't very good. It wasn't very good. You've lost it. What a shame. Hang on, wait. I haven Here. Actually, that wasn't very good. It wasn't very good. You've lost it. What a shame. Hang on, wait.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I haven't done it for ages. That's the best way that could have done. Here. Have you lost it? It wasn't very good either. Have you lost it? I can't believe it. It just has been so long, Ed.
Starting point is 00:50:02 I'm really upset about this. Hang on, wait. Oh, come on. Here. Oh, I mean, that's the last thing. You've had to let go of Taskmaster completely, and now you can't even do the air horn. I don't know if I can carry on.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Well, look, muse on this question, while you're still reeling from the fact you've lost your skill um hi ed and jess my question for jess is if you had to pick one other member to join your group for the team tasks who would you pick let's say from yours from your series um okay so it was me and Kerry on my series obviously the other team were quite dysfunctional on your series yeah you'd have to pick
Starting point is 00:50:52 the best from a bad bunch really yeah no offence to the lads but it would be James I think just because he's the least worst I'm sure he'd be chuffed to hear that as well. Because I know he wanted to be on your team. You need to answer that question.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Oh, yeah, I suppose. Well, I was on the team of three. So I was on a team with Katie and Rose. And I would have, you know, okay, I would have had Joe Brand on the team. I basically wouldn't have wanted David Baddiel on the team. Why not? Got on with him very well, but he was absolutely useless at everything he turned his hand to. That was a surprise.
Starting point is 00:51:34 It was a huge surprise to everyone, including David Baddiel. I wouldn't have had it any other way, though. Absolutely incredible. Because after two episodes, you knew going in, yeah, I've done some bad stuff, but I'm never going to be worse than someone. There was a buffer for every single task. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:53 Kind of like Phil with us. Yeah, exactly. This is from Leah in Birmingham. Hi guys. What I've always wondered is, are you told who your competitors are before you go for filming? If not, have there ever been any incidents
Starting point is 00:52:07 where people have turned up on team day and not known who their teammate is? Now, I'm not sure what Leah means there, whether you turn up on team day and they arrive and you've no idea who they are, what they do. You've never heard of them before. Or whether you just don't know who it's going to be. That's true of all team days.
Starting point is 00:52:29 You don't know who's going to be on your team until until they arrive yeah it's always a you know who you're you know who the other contestants are yes you're told the lineup um unless unless you're rod and you've never heard of me then you know and you tell everyone that you've never heard of me on a in an interview that is actually ed um where did he say that no we had for the trailer i think it was for the teaser or the trailer um we had to name all of the we had to name all of the other contestants in alphabetical order i think right yeah and that was the task and then that was the way that they revealed the new contestants for the series yeah and then rod was just going i don't know her i don't know the other one i don't know her name don't know who she is oh absolute vintage rod that is classic stuff oh man that's so funny well you
Starting point is 00:53:20 will rod you will this is from elisa uh hi jess how quick did you read the video game task and decide you were going to reenact mario kart it was an amazing rendition that's another one of my highlights of your taskmaster by the way i yeah god what that was great and also this is a good bit of um bts taskmaster goss was that because you know how you film in blocks and so we we'd started filming this this was like one of the very first tasks that i had to do i had just had a baby that i was still having to give milk to yes so at certain points i had to go and pump my boobs which is where you get you know you get the milk out of your boobs so you can save it and give it to your baby later. And I had to do that dressed as Mario in my dressing room.
Starting point is 00:54:16 It was just one of the highlights of my life as a working mother. Yeah, just a plumber dealing with their own plumber. Exactly. It's just a great image tash on cap on i mean babies probably uh have more memories than you think they do right there's probably going to be a memory floating around somewhere in your child's head of do you remember when mummy had a moustache yeah well i've got a horrible picture of her next to greg's portrait because she was in the backstay in the green room at one point.
Starting point is 00:54:49 And then there's just this big looming portrait of Greg behind her looking terrifying. As with all of the tasks, I went pretty much the thing that always kills me with any creative decision is overthinking. And because I know that about myself, the thing that I tried to do was just go with the first idea I had. So the Mario Kart one, I instantly thought, Mario Kart, that was my favourite game when I was a kid. It was a great decision.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Very well executed, I've got to say. Thank you. A three, two, one. Go! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Jess, thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast. What we always do at the end of the Taskmaster podcast
Starting point is 00:55:49 is we ask you to rate your experience on the podcast one to five points. Oh, what? I'm just an absolute five. Yes. Now, I'll be honest. Most people are polite and give a five point. Paul Chowdhury gave it a one.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Yeah, Paul Chowdhury gave it a one. Yeah, Paul, of course he did. Which has brought down the average somewhat. But thank you for trying to get it back up there. are polite and give a five point uh paul anyone one yeah paul tragic gave it one which is which has brought down the uh the average somewhat but thank you for trying to get it back up there really appreciate that thank you very much jess thank you for having me pleasure well there we go another really fun episode of the taskmaster podcast thank you very much jess for coming on and chatting to me i can't believe it's episode seven next week uh it's going so quickly um we've got another brilliant guest for next week i'll tell you about shortly uh but before that don't forget taskmaster youtube channel youtube.com
Starting point is 00:56:35 forward slash taskmaster taskmaster store.com for all your taskmaster gift needs if you want to email us taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com get your questions in for me and my special guests they can be general questions they can be specific to me they can be specific to the guest but get them in we love to hear from you and i'm very happy to tell you that next week's special guest is rose matafayo yes another season nine uh chum of mine. My biggest competitor in season nine, I've got to say, in terms of actually wanting to win. She was desperate to win.
Starting point is 00:57:12 So I'm looking forward to hearing talk about that. It'll be a really fun episode. I would definitely tune in for that one and do send in, tune in. It's a podcast. I do other podcasts. I know you don't tune in. Come on, Ed. Send in the questions for me and Rose. I'm other podcasts. I know you don't tune in. Come on, Ed.
Starting point is 00:57:26 Send in the questions for me and Rose. I'm sure we'll have an argument, whatever you send. So that will be out next week after the main show on Channel 4. So about 10pm, we tend to drop a hot pod. That sounded more disgusting than I anticipated. The podcast's release at 10pm on a Thursday. So let me know what you think. And let me know what you want me to ask Rose but thanks again to Jess
Starting point is 00:57:48 we will see you again next week for episode 7 of the Taskmaster Podcast Goodbye! We'll see you next time. Thank you.

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