Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 62. Mark Watson - S5 Ep.5
Episode Date: January 6, 2022On the podcast this week Mark Watson returns to chat to Ed. This time however they are talking cheeky texts, stolen trousers, watercooler moments and general TM admin. Listen to find out exactly how E...d was embroiled in the high octane prize task. Enjoy! Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.comVisit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmasterGet in touch with Ed and future guests: taskmasterpodcast@gmail.comTaskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
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interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. Happy New Year from me, Ed Gamble, host of the Taskmaster podcast.
Very exciting episode today. We're back talking about Series 5 and we're talking about Series 5, Episode 5.
And we have a very special guest
for today's episode it's the wonderful mark watson of course one of the stars of series five of
taskmaster and this potentially his most eventful episode we're talking trousers we're talking
texts so much happens in this episode it's a really it's a really fantastic episode can't
wait to talk to mark about that uh get down to the nitty gritty, chat about the tasks,
some backstage goss, that sort of stuff.
We might get some facts we've not heard before.
It's very exciting.
I mean, let's just crack on with it.
You guys know the drill by now.
You can get all of Taskmaster on all four.
You go and find it.
You can watch it, come back here, listen to us,
chat about it.
That's how it works.
Hope you all had a nice Christmas, a new year.
We are back into the thick of it now with series five only eight episodes series five so a few more of those left and then we'll just keep this thing rolling but for now this is mark watson
welcome back mark watson to the taskmaster podcast. Thank you. Not too many people return, do they? This feels big.
Not many returners. You're one of few returners.
We, of course, had to have you back on because we're talking about Series 5 at the moment.
And Series 5, Episode 5, specifically, this is pure Watson, this episode.
I'd say you're the headlining star of this episode.
I don't like using phrases like headlining star
or guiding force or the main talent.
I saw myself very much as part of a collective, as you know.
But it is true that a couple of major turning points
occurred in this episode,
which people still ask me about
and which they will continue to ask me about
long after they've forgotten everything else in my life.
Yes, well, when I say headlining star, Mark,
I mean you have a couple of real low points.
Yeah, the only way to be a headlining star in...
They often say that every day on Twitter
there's a main character and the trick is not to be it and that is sort of
the same with the taskmaster episode as well if you become the talking point something terrible
probably happens yes absolutely look i'm gonna get this out the way straight away mark because
obviously we're we're this is a fifth episode talking about um series five and we've had a lot
of people message in saying can you stop being mean about mark can you stop saying that mark
wasn't very good at these things because mark actually came second in the whole series and
this is such an interesting thing mark a real skill of doing things quite well but in a way
that's presented as you doing them quite badly yeah my um i project so much negativity and sort
of defeatism that people a lot of people have have this sort of Mandela effect thing where they remember
in inverted commas that I was last in the series or at least did really badly.
But in fact, I was still in contention to win coming to the last episode.
Nish is your man. Nish was the one that was shit at everything.
Now, don't you worry. We definitely speak about Nish.
To be fair, I have heard that covered as well, yeah.
Yeah, as you say, my sort of, I think my unique,
well, it's not unique, actually.
Other people have done similar,
but my legacy on the show is having actually
sort of scored quite well while still leaving people
with the memory of someone that couldn't really do anything.
Yeah.
Which is a real, it is a real skill.
Speaking about Nish, I want to get your hot take on this.
Nish's main aim from the start of the series
seems to be to drag you down with him.
And I think that might be it.
I think Nish is so convincing.
He even in this episode refers to you and himself
as loser's corner.
Yeah, something which I never got into, by the way,
I wasn't getting a sign printed, put it that way.
I mean, yeah. And it's funny, isn't it?
Just the, just the psychology of me sitting next to him.
There were loads of screen grabs of us that having a hug or a high five or
other things that losers do after a rare moment of triumph
um yeah but yeah that obscures the fact that most of the time when this is one came up on
the screen i would think thank christ for this he's done this worse than me
always always did it worse of course i didn't know this as you as you know you've got no idea
what's happening to the rest of the contestants while it's underway so um many times
I would leave the house or leave a task thinking well it would be impossible to do it worse than
that and um all this time I had a a rival who was making it his business to do it worse but yeah I
do think I was tainted by I still am tainted by association um in people's memory especially
because me and Nish did the song and so it became seen as a team in people's minds, especially because me and Nish did the song. And so we became seen as a team in people's minds, which is nice.
But I had very little input into some of the things that he did in that show.
I mean, even in this episode, we'll find quite a lot of those moments
where it's very much, thank God Nish is there for everyone.
I don't think that's necessarily just you.
I think everyone thought, thank God Nish is there.
And that must be from episode one.
We had a similar thing with David Baddiel,
where it was very clear from episode one that if you're worried about a
coming bottom but deals got you back yeah i remember there were times when this turned out
to have done something really well and you felt almost cheated like this wasn't a deal
that's not your role yeah two or three times you won a task it was all very well from a
sort of romantic underdog point of view but you'd be looking over your shoulder thinking well shit in that case who else has fucked it now there was
that one where he um where you had to kick the basketball he tried to boot the basketball in
um through the hoop yeah you know they edited it so it appeared he'd done it first time and
and then it uh the reveal was that he had taken most of the day to do it.
But yeah, I remember everyone falling for that and thinking,
Nish is an occasional genius, we can't have this.
But luckily he wasn't.
Yes, yeah.
I mean, that was quite early on in the series.
Yeah.
So you've got to put that early in the series
when there's still some sort of hope and belief
that Nish might do something well.
If you put that in episode six, no one's falling for that.
No, you couldn't have sold that later in the series, it's true.
No, they're going, oh, you've edited that.
You've definitely edited that. There's no way Nisha's
narrative arc was clear by that point.
Let's crack on
and talk about the prize task from this episode.
It's the most high-octane item.
I mean, should we get through everyone else's and then talk about yours?
Should we wade into yours?
How should we do this?
Well, I think it's fair to say that history regards the others as almost irrelevant.
But mind you, I didn't win the course
or anywhere near it because of Greg's punitive
approach to the situation.
He's very harsh in this episode, Greg, on everyone
I think. He's in a proper
sort of like officious
mood. Yeah, he really was.
So no, I think we should look at the other ones
because it was
Sally, wasn't she?
With something that was absolutely nuts as usual.
Yeah, the high octane feed for show pigs.
It's really funny.
I mean, I suspect what's happened there
because it says high octane on the packet
is what's happened.
She's Googled high octane
and then scrolled about three pages down
and found this pig feed.
Yeah, it's hard to see how else you'd
come across that i mean as you say it's a bit suspicious that it literally said high octane on
it yeah but it's really funny just that i mean and i think she plays quite well into what greg
finds really funny that the idea of the pig eating something and then becoming instantly
massive is probably right up greg street it really is yeah it was a pleasing image um so yeah i mean it was a it was a great it was
a great prize effort she always had stuff like that up her sleeve sally she was probably the
most difficult person to guess what she might show up to the studio with i think i mean actually bob
as well but at least bob's thing was normally dependably weird in a sort of bob mortimer way
whereas sally yeah as you say she's equally likely to have an ABBA-themed Monopoly
or to have found something for pigs online.
Yeah, with Bob, you don't know what to expect,
but you're right, it's dependable.
He's always on target.
He's in persona.
You know what genre of thing to roughly expect, yeah.
Whereas Sally is just like this whirling dervish,
absolute chaos
force of chaos exactly chaos yes so it's the high octane feed for show pigs which is equally
something you could imagine bob mortimer bringing in um yeah and he would have said that he'd have
uttered that phrase with a completely straight face as well yeah well a phrase that he does
that with a completely straight face is a rocket bike he made for his son yeah which was an impressive bit of gear and you immediately started thinking if i if i won the
episode that's something i probably shouldn't take home with me yes no he did he did very well there
i having now interviewed bob on off menu uh and he's about his son on off menu as well um i think
always in my head his son's very young but his son is i believe
in his 20s yeah which really sort of reframes the rocket bike it does the something like the
rocket bike cements the idea of sort of a six-year-old in your head really but uh yeah
logic suggests that bob's son is himself an adult, capable of making a rocket bike himself if he wanted to. Yes, as he is capable himself of eating the cheaper meats
without having a sort of presentational spinning device.
But it's a rocket bike.
You've got to put that quite high up, I think.
I think the four points is pretty well deserving.
Yes, perhaps unlikely not to win when you think about it.
I mean, you'd have to say
that's more high-octane technically
than the packet of pig stuff.
But there you go.
Again, as we said,
very specific things
tickle the Taskmaster's fancy.
We all know that.
Yes, exactly.
Aisling brought a custard pie
on a garden rake.
I really like this.
I think Aisling gets quite
harshly scored in the prize tasks.
And I say harshly scored that we prize tasks and i say how she scored that
we're five episodes in in four out of five of the episodes so far she's got the three points
she's been straight down the middle i think she felt that she was harshly done by at times as well
yeah maybe he felt you couldn't you couldn't give all five points to a custard pie um but it was
clever wasn't it it was really clever it was a lot of fun
I like bringing that cartoonish stuff into the
real world Custapine and Garden Rake
bang I think that's you know
maybe she suffers from the top two
being the top two really you can't
mess around with a high octane fever show pig
no the level was
high in this task yeah
it was I mean very
high we're going to get to yours
we'll get to it let's get to yours then i will get to it
all right let's i mean let's chat let's get nish out of the way i mean it's another absolutely
classic piece of shit from nish it's a shame i often have to say let's get nish out of the way
it was a hands-free mobile phone kit um it's just a massive rubber band uh that uh nish claims
cuts off the flow to your
brain um yeah i mean you put your phone under it i mean i don't know what i think nish genuinely
with these prize tests as well has stuck to the rules that he thinks it should be from his own
house he's not gone out and sought out a new thing no i think that's right quite a bit of
this stuff had the appearance of having been grabbed by nish quite shortly before his car
arrived to take the studio and that's you know if you want to be critical at the highest level of taskmaster
that's not going to cut it really not when people are doing things like making rocket bikes or
certainly in my case um in fact one of the reasons why i uh generally scored quite highly on
price was because i accepted that i definitely fucked some of the studio stuff up so i immediately started strategizing to claw points back but nish didn't seem to be
laboring under any pressure like that i think he knew he'd messed up so many of the tasks that
there's no point there's no point trying to claw any of it back he just lent into it instead yeah
part of the reason you're such a brilliant contestant on this mark is that you do
go the extra step i think more so than any other taskmaster contestant there's that you're always
thinking ahead about how you can make things bigger and then yeah i think and scaling things
i think alex knew um when i went because because we knew each other that i probably would be in
great trouble with anything where you had to fit one thing into another thing or uh remove something from something else or anything like that throw a thing throw a thing
into a thing throw a thing move a thing hold a thing uh yeah i think when tim key on on day one
key sent me a text saying something like you should be fine apart from the things where you
have to hold things open things uh move things or in any other way manipulate things and uh i basically so yeah
i think the um the sort of difference between me and nish was basically i was like a sort of um
troubled uh in not very capable or like motor skills contestant but i was like endlessly
struggling against my destiny by by trying to like
dream big whereas nish uh accepted his destiny and made made it his destiny two very different
approaches to loser's corner basically but you you were not in loser's corner remember that is
no which constantly grabbing your head and pulling it towards his chest and going welcome to you're
right actually my approach loser's corner was to borrow my way out of it with insane amounts of admin.
Well, let's talk about some of that admin now
because your price for this was, of course,
a pair of trousers that you stole from Greg
or, let's be honest, you got me to steal from Greg.
Yeah, I mean, this is you you sort of etched yourself
into taskmaster history but before you'd even been a contestant at the time um yeah what's a
bit odd about this is i think i mean i i've never said this before but i this is surely the place
for this information um the this began as a different as a different task um as in the theft of the
trousers was actually for something else um right it was it was a task that was never aired uh where
you had to go into a well into the um shed but they'd made it into a sort of weird mystic meg
type setup with a crystal ball and the task was to make predictions um right and you had to
make I don't know five I think the most far-fetched prediction that came true uh would uh would win
so it's a sort of real classic like very much sort of task I liked um because I could see myself over
the course of several months being able to bring something massive to fruition
um so I made a series of like predictions that were reasonably wild but which could potentially
happen if I if I spent most of the next six months working on it um like something like I predicted
that my cat would meet Gary Lineker or something my cat would become a
would meet a major household name something like that which I thought was there was a couple of
things like that um one of them was that I would be able to lure one of the other contestants to
a country that they'd never been before and my plan was to try and get Nish to come to like
someone like Belgium or Hungary I can't remember I think it was Hungary I found I established that he'd never been to this European country before
and then started putting things in place to set up a fake gig there basically so I put several
like several weeks of work in already um but one of the other predictions I made was that I would
be able to steal an item from the taskmaster because i thought yes there's no way i can't accomplish that um and then at a certain point uh we found out the task was getting dropped from the
from the show and i i don't know this isn't also not my business but it's some prediction sally
made was legally compromising in some way that's all i know um and so um because not even horn would
tell me all of the details but they had to they had to remove that entire uh but by then i was
really attached to the idea of stealing something and so yeah when this high octane challenge was
laid down i thought well this sort of still fits the bill i couldn't think of anything
physically high up in the way that the rocket bike was so I thought conceptually this would be pretty exciting and then I put things in your hands it was trousers
was you know much more than I ever ever dreamed of as you know I just asked if you could remove
something from his something yeah I mean I've got the I've got the original um twitter uh dms if um
just for the sake of history whether I should read something yeah I didn't even have your phone number at the time.
This was, you know, I just knew that you were on with him
and we vaguely knew each other.
And I didn't even know you were a sort of accomplished thief, really.
All that was to come later.
So this was straight away.
This is from you.
Am I right in thinking you're on in Bristol the same night as Greg Davis?
And I said, I believe so, for Bristol Comedy Garden, right? And you said, that's right. Do you're on in bristol the same night as greg davis and i said i believe so for bristol comedy garden right and you said that's right do you know the big man well
and i said i do do you fancy him because i'd happily take him a love note i've forgotten this
preamble imagine if that was the task seduce the taskmaster i suppose you do essentially have
something quite similar in this episode as well it's true i was just thinking that yeah um i mean this this is great so as part of taskmaster i have to steal something off him
i mean that's interesting the way you pitched it to me was as if the task was steal something
off the taskmaster yeah that was slightly disingenuous of me wasn't it really what i
meant was as part of taskmaster i've decided to steal something off him he isn't aware of this
i'm wondering if i can elicit you in a plan.
I mean, so not even a minute later,
I said absolutely.
So this was at 2pm on June 6th, 2017.
And at 2pm on June 6th, 2017,
I said absolutely.
However, yeah,
the more spectacular and unexpected, the better.
However, I obviously don't want to actually
fuck his life up too much.
Yeah, well, I mean, looking back, I don't know if i would have added that caveat now
there's you give me some more details about it most surprising thing is the key so you've sort
of made up a whole task here you're most surprising in quotes yeah that's right i i can't remember if
i was deliberately i think i'd basically i'd convinced myself that to fit the bill,
it had to be something pretty...
Certainly that would take him by surprise.
Yeah.
But yeah, you're right.
I don't really remember this build-up that well,
but it's obvious that I was sort of trying to appeal
to your sense of adventure.
I mean, look, I've fallen for it, Hootline.
I'm so into it.
He didn't take very much persuading, as we've said.
Yeah.
No, God, no. I say, we'll do do my best I guess when he's on would be best uh I tried to swing a lift but he's
driving from elsewhere I reckon I could lift his car keys and get something out of there when he's
on again he didn't take long to start thinking like a criminal no and you're very clear just
nick anything from him would be a result yeah but I but obviously you don't you don't mean that
because if I stole a pen off him,
it wouldn't be very good, would it?
No, and I don't think people would still be talking about it
in the way that they are about the trousers.
So you take a lot of credit for taking this limited brief
and really running with it.
But I'm so into it.
This is a great exchange.
This is me.
Slight hitch.
He's staying over, so he's parked at the hotel and is walking over,
and I'm sure he won't have a coat on that i can ransack and then you you had to reply with okay firstly don't panic nobody ever made it big as a burglar by panicking see what there is to work
with this is quite fun and it's true the first rule of uh as far as i know of organized crime is
keep your head yeah um and I said it's literally
like he knows our only options are baseball cap phone sunglasses pens a pair of trousers and
assorted bits of paper with notes on the majority of these things I think he will notice immediately
and not leave until he finds I'm tempted to take his trousers and hope he thinks he left them in
his room but that is a very risky scenario here we go and this is where the dream is born
like I remember reading that thinking surely he's not getting away with a pair of trousers it does
because well i think i remember greg saying on the broadcast who loses their fucking trousers
you you've said you've suggested the baseball cap so the baseball cap seems like something you might
give up on and i say possibly but he wears it a lot and i'm worried that if he misses something
then you will it will look like someone here has swiped it
and you reply with it's almost as if i've created a situation that could cause unpleasantness
which is is true i think yeah and um god i've forgotten the extent of the dialogue here all
of this over twitter dm oh god there's so much chat while the gig's going on. To be fair, I think not that many major thefts have been executed via DM though.
It leaves a paper trail for a start.
And we sort of convince ourselves that we're going to do the trousers.
And then you actually, I don't know if you remember this,
you asked me if I could film a small video to maybe play in the studio.
Yes, because I did have an eye on being able to
prove that we that we'd done this yeah it didn't matter in the end because i think my only my only
worry was um uh the well it'd be difficult to to say definitively these were your trousers but
none of this was a problem because his his uh shock at recognizing them in the studio
was absolutely palpable that's why it worked so well and also the fact that he remembered losing
his trousers obviously yeah so i mean i do have the the video still on the message conversation
so what i will do for listeners of this podcast is when this podcast comes out i will tweet the
video of me stealing greg very very good Very, very good. That is exclusive content. That is true exclusive content.
And then all I remember is the next day,
a runner came over to my flat
and picked up Greg Davis's trousers.
Yep, amazing scenes.
And then, well, fast forward
to the actual day of the recording.
And I mean, it's one of the most,
it's probably my favourite clip
from the series, actually.
And the joy of it is
just his incomprehension the bit where i say i thought i thought it would be good to steal
something from you his face is so bemused and then yeah you couldn't ask for it i don't think
you could have acted it or scripted it better really the way his face clears as he realizes
what happened to his trousers that night we're just very lucky that he had a different pair of trousers,
basically, at the gig.
Very few people arrive at a gig with separate sets of trousers.
No, I've not really considered quite how odd that is
to turn up with a different set of trousers.
It implies you think something really bad is going to happen on stage.
And sometimes I've seen Greg,
he's been very much in control of things.
But, yeah, if it had been a baseball cap or any... and uh times i've seen greg he's been very much in control of things uh but yeah it does you know
if it had been a baseball cap or any uh smaller even if it was an item like the cap he's very
fond of it wouldn't be quite the same trousers are such a such an improbable thing to be able
to nick off somebody it had a like a visual quality to it really yeah and they're such long
trousers as well so the black long trousers
against the white background when it gets put up on the screen is is really funny something
really special and it is instant admission that the uh that the trousers were his it was all
perfect really and the only sort of sour note is that is that we got one point uh i say weeks
half of that point is yours but you know it, but it should have been added to your tally
when you were on with it.
Or, I mean, deducted is more like it.
Or deducted, yeah.
So it was one point for you, sadly.
Two points for Nish, three points for Aisling,
four points for Bob, and five points for Sally.
Bob, it's a rocket bike that I made for my son.
Congratulations. Thank you.
I did a radio phone-in where I claimed that my son was a fast runner
and another parent from the school phoned in and said,
not as fast as my son, and he was telling the truth.
So I challenged him to speed cycling
and this is the rocket bike I made for my son.
Whoa!
And your son, you lit it, and it did propel your son?
Yes, well, no, he propelled it,
but it gave it that kind of vibe of, you know, that feeling of speed.
Sort of jazz hands.
Yeah, yeah, it was a bike like that, yeah.
Yeah.
Let's talk about task one.
Put the biggest thing inside this balloon
the balloon must be successfully inflated tied and bigger than your head you have 10 minutes
your time starts now yeah so here is an example of a task that on paper i could only ever get 1.4
and yet and yet you take from the big four this is one of those this is one of those tasks where
you just have to finish it that's the yeah that's the advice that you should give to every person
who does taskmaster is just finish it and you never know because it probably will be someone
who doesn't yeah it's always sort of people make a joke out of the uh all the information is in the
task thing but there's a reason why they say that very very often the the fine print of the task costs people and as you say here
you had to have done all the things um to get on the scoreboard and although um although Alex was
certainly been aware of my um intense dislike of balloons and suspicion of them i don't think this was
done maliciously but um it was just because of the and it won't have been for everyone but for
me this was one of the first tasks of all as well this was my first day really yeah because i i
remember thinking ah fuck there's always a sort of, there's always a thing of the series.
It turned out to be coconuts, of course.
But at the time I thought,
what if there's about three balloons every day?
We'd done a preliminary task,
which I did quite badly as well,
where you had to name celebrities.
And that was never used again.
I think that was sort of a warmup.
But then, yeah, one of my first formal tasks was this.
And it was quite a harsh baptism um but it was also in the end a good example of her lateral thinking i suppose in taskmaster because i had literally no option but
to uh well get someone to do it for me get someone to do it for you and yet still look i think the
most scared i've ever seen a man look
i hated it someone else was someone else was blowing up a balloon and tying it you look like
you were watching hereditary at the cinema i do not like to watch balloons being blown up but
especially i don't like watching it when when there's you know points at stake the combination
of tensions i mean it was awful obviously um the guy guy was the same guy who was to carry me in another episode and then disastrously put me down because I forgot the rubric of the task.
So another thing which people talk about constantly to me.
So he was a real figure in my time on Taskmaster.
And I did talk to Alex about it afterwards and say,
you know, was that all right?
Because I sort of didn't really do that.
And he basically said,
you couldn't have the crew do every task for you within reasonable limits.
It was sort of fine.
Yeah, because it specifically doesn't say
you must inflate the balloon.
It says the balloon then must be
successfully inflated it yeah and really avoids that most taskmaster tasks are phrased in that
in that sort of passive uh time you know there are plenty of examples of history of people
basically subcontracting the work or just paying someone else to do it or whatever so
i didn't feel like it was cheating exactly but i also didn't feel like it was cheating exactly, but I also didn't feel like it was very good.
I certainly didn't think I'd get up in the high scores
because I'd reckon without the idea
that most people wouldn't be able to actually complete the task,
as you say.
Yeah, I mean, there was failure all around.
Bob just doesn't tie up the balloon in time.
But again, he's very Bob about the whole thing.
He's not bothered really, is he? No. He does his best. He's very funny along the way. And then if he doesn't do it, he doesn't tie up the balloon in time but again it's he's very bob about the whole thing he's not bothered really is he he no he does his best he's very funny along the way and then if he doesn't
do it he doesn't care yeah it's kind of amazing that he was actually not amazing i was gonna say
it's amazing that he won our series with that attitude but in a sense that is the perfect
attitude you want to be capable of genius but also prepared to just uh let some be relaxed
enough to not overdo it.
He's in that perfect sweet spot of being mad enough
to hug Alex in the boot of his car or something.
But also when something went wrong, he didn't mind at all.
Yeah.
Not at all.
And quite often if nothing strikes him with sheer inspiration,
he just sort of does quite a good thing,
but then just lets it pass
you know yeah they're not worried there were tasks like that where i remember the one where
he had to sneeze and both aston and sally just didn't just didn't do it if i remember just
couldn't be asked and again when when we were watching that back i found that incompressible
because as we've said they chased up every point like a lunatic lunacy um sally uh has a disaster as well um i mean starts off yeah starts off by saying hello
there andy it makes you wonder if that was quite early in her taskmaster schedule as well or
whether she was just having one of the days when she was mad which did happen a couple of times
so she starts by saying hello there, Andy, and then goes very ambitious
by trying to get like a bell jar into the balloon
and the little statue of a man
and all of this stuff
that's clearly never going to fit into a balloon
and settles on grapes
and then spectacularly fails to blow the balloon
up to the size of her head anyway.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, sometimes it pays to be that ambitious on Taskmaster but
that was perhaps never going to work yeah no no exactly I mean it's just the same energy as a
couple of weeks ago she with the task where you had to get the ball out of the tube she started by
for some reason putting a funnel in the top of the tube and then filling it up via the funnel
which made absolutely no difference yeah that's. I remember seeing her approach to quite a lot of tasks,
initially thinking, is this genius?
And then after a couple of minutes of VT,
you think, I know, it's fine, it's fine.
No, we'll be all right.
It's just another shit way of doing it,
but more complicated than our one.
With hindsight, it was absolutely inevitable
and this would burst a balloon.
Obviously it was.
Yeah, and I love it so much.
And you know what?
I'm very surprised to hear this was on people's first days
because when it explodes,
there's such a resigned sort of sadness in his eyes
that it's almost like it's the last task he did.
Well, I think that some people might have had them
in different sequences from others
because you're right.
It doesn't feel like this is Nish's first rodeo
when the balloon explodes
and that laugh is the recording of the laugh that they use for his first prize task in episode one
which is the loop of his laugh yeah um yes which again again sort of just makes you wonder whether his head was ever in the right
place to win prize cast really um but of course someone had to explode it and it was always going
to be nish i absolutely love it um and ashling uh gets the victory by filling her i love this
lateral thinking of uh putting all the ingredients for a bruschetta into a balloon and me too it's
the size of a whole bruschetta that was brilliant deserved the points yeah absolutely it was five points for ashling's
bruschetta uh and um blowing up the balloon to the size of her head she managed it she was initially
worried as well mark that she wouldn't be able to blow the balloon up but she got stuck in and
she got it done she demonstrated um nerve and ingenuity and also a certain amount of, I suppose, cooking prowess.
Yeah, you could say.
She deconstructed the baguette and stuck it in a balloon.
So you have to say she deserved at least five points.
She's almost got more points because three people didn't get any at all.
But luckily, that's not how it works.
Are you any better with balloons now, Mark?
No, not really, but at least I know that if I'm ever tasked
with blowing one up, I'm allowed to look for a kindly bald man nearby
and give it to him.
So that's a life learning from Taskmaster.
Can I say, Taskmaster, I'm a little bit, like, fed up, do you know,
because I don't believe Sally blew her balloon up.
I did.
We never have controversy on the show.
This is awesome.
What are you complaining about, Bob?
Because Sally's balloon went down.
It's these two.
The other two.
My only problem was tying the balloon.
I would say, Bob, that it says inflate, which is from the Latin fiatare, which means to
blow.
So one could say that water didn't...
I mean, if we're being pedantic.
Yeah, well, if we're being pedantic,
you put some grapes in it and didn't blow it up.
I don't think, Bob, that it says anywhere
that you weren't allowed to ask someone else to tie it up.
No, but all I'm saying is I don't want any credit for it.
I just wanted to say I'm fed up.
LAUGHTER any credit for it. I just wanted to say I'm fed up.
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Task two, generate a water cooler moment involving this water cooler.
Most remarkable water cooler moment wins.
You have one hour.
Your time starts now.
It's another, this is one I think about a lot.
Do you want to know what my instinct was
the first time I watched this as to what I'd do, Mark?
Yeah, what would you, all of us think like this
when we're watching other people's tasks.
Yeah.
Yeah, my instinct was to try and drink the whole thing.
God, that would have been,
weirdly that didn't occur to any of us
because I suppose that is route one, isn't it?
Well, it would have been impossible and I potentially would have died because it's quite a lot yeah but that's that's probably worth at least three points yeah
if you've been hospitalized couldn't be more route one i guess that's my skill
in that i i'm so route one i i it it doesn't even occur to other people
well and it worked for you that a lot of the time
yeah yeah for all the cleverness that taskmaster rewards sometimes you should just do the most
stupid thing that immediately pops into your head um there were no no one tried that but there were
some incredible uh incredible water cooler moments let's let's talk let's talk now about
yours mark well because this is this is an example of your technique on Taskmaster,
which is to go high risk, high reward,
but then occasionally fail spectacularly.
Yeah, this is an example of that backfiring.
So, I mean, it started really well.
Finding someone, which I did within the 20 minutes,
to come and collect the, or was it 20 minutes I
certainly within the time limit I legitimately found someone on Twitter who lived close enough
to come and pick up the water cooler in his car so very good start it was very funny watching the
gates open and the guy show up and load it into into the boot um and but the the trouble I had was there was a point about, I suppose,
halfway through the Taskmaster, or actually more than that, I guess.
But anyway, there was certainly a moment where the water cooler project
had stalled quite badly.
It made it no further than about Surrey.
But also there were these texts every day
um at the time i was still trying to work out how to get nish to hungary or wherever it was
um there was another task which i won't go to the details of because i reckon they might use it the
idea again one day but another task which involved quite a bit of forward planning which i was sort
of giving a certain amount of thought to then of course the prize tasks when they came in I put a little bit
of work into as well ordering that hat the jigsaw so there were a couple of mornings when I woke up
and the sheer volume of taskmaster admin on my plate was overwhelming and this happens to no
other task everyone else films their tasks then there's like a few months before the studio you
get to the studio you go oh I don't even remember doing that that's right it was constantly on your
mind for months there's no i don't remember doing that for me now i was reliving every task that
had gone wrong and desperately trying to engineer every task that still could go right the thing
when i look at this again is why i don't i never did deserve the loser's corner thing because
when i look at the amount of stress
that Taskmaster did not cause Nish or Bob or really any of them you know I uh of course the
classic example is the text which I believe that everyone else was also doing but conceptually
that's how I was with all of Taskmaster I believed everyone was living it as much as me so the water
cooler thing basically was the one that got away a bit because there were a couple of moments where there were a couple of moments i heard it had been successfully
that it successfully changed hands but then there was someone that i just couldn't get in touch with
for a couple of months and um i think again i didn't have phone numbers i was trying to do it
with a sort of ungodly mixture of twitter and facebook and who knows what and a point came when I just accepted to myself uh
the water cooler is not gonna go all the way around Great Britain and come back again
and having made my peace with that I basically thought it's funnier if it if it basically did
nothing at all and so we went with that instead it is it is really funny that it goes 33 miles
in five months it's very funny yeah i thought
the issue is you're relying on other people there yeah and that's such a big so big that's the thing
if it had been if i could have well if i could have coordinated it would have been one of the
most amazing things ever seen but yeah it was such a even bigger than it seemed really like
even watching someone put it in their car brought home how unlikely it was that it could do an entire circuit of the country and it only took one person
to think oh shit I've still got this water cooler hopefully he'll forget about that and I didn't
forget but yeah nor could I quite raise it even I couldn't quite fit another project into my life
at that point and so the water cooler unfortunately uh as you say, just an average of a few miles a month.
And you could have done more just in Ubers, basically.
I mean, it's so funny that the comparison of your efforts
to Nish in this is the perfect comparison, really.
So you tried to orchestrate the water cooler
travelling around Great Britain
and spent months trying to make that happen.
And Nish ran up to it and kicked it.
Yep.
Got more points.
And got more, crucially, got more points.
And this, I actually think Nish's might be even more route one
than my thought of drinking it.
It is, it's something I talk to Nish about a lot.
He gets bored of me bringing this up, this task,
because it makes me laugh so much that in his head,
he's gone, I'm going to Kung Fu kick it. kick it it's gonna be brilliant and then he absolutely does not
have the physical prowess to pull that off whatsoever yeah this is not an example of nish
under doing a task or for comic effect i think he thought this would be one of the moments of
the series yeah you can see it in his eyes but alex even says in the studio that after Nish did it he was so he was so happy with it
yeah I mean I don't know where he thought the bar was for water cooler moments but uh
I don't know it's a it's a fine line between claiming something as a martial arts demonstration
and just as you say running up to it and kicking it really and no amount of slow-mo can completely
take you over that threshold I don't think no and no amount of slow-mo can completely take you
over that threshold I don't think no and even in the slow-mo you can see I mean they've done they've
done so much of an edit on it they're such a good team for making things uh seem better than they
are but there's absolutely I mean no that ends up looking about as good as it was yeah yeah I mean
it's it's so funny and the fact he gets four points I think Greg's being very generous to
interpret that
as it being so shit that everyone would be talking about it
at work the next day.
Well, I think if that's how we're doing it,
mine should have got five points
because mine was definitely the least successful.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
But it was sort of nice almost to see Nish get points
by that stage because with the best one in the world,
you weren't looking over your shoulder at him
as a contender anymore.
So my mindset by now was almost
Nish getting points takes them off of other people,
you know, who might be more of a threat.
Yeah.
Aisling, again, if you're judging it
in terms of things going wrong
or things being terrible,
this deserved more points
because I've got no...
It's just the fact she'd set up this scene
and you never see where she was truly going to go with it.
She's got all the ice and the chocolate and all all of that where's she going to go with that
before it all falls over and smashes which is great i love that it smashes yeah yeah but but
yeah in the end we'll never know what that would have been basically that was just uh again joins
the the taskmaster legacy of things where something just got broken in the end and nothing really happened.
It's very funny.
I think, yeah, just such a disaster
that it deserved more.
And Bob finds an apple on top of the water cooler
and then splits the apple into two perfect halves
with his bare hands.
I mean, look, it's a classic Mortimer trick.
I'd say Bob is obviously an amazing Taskmaster contestant,
very well-deserved winner in this series.
But this perhaps is the only task where I've seen him phone in a little bit
because that is something he has done before
and to just put an apple on top of the water.
Yeah, if you know that that's in his locker,
then that's less impressive, as you say.
And yeah, you can imagine it was quite difficult like it wasn't immediately
clear what to do obviously like a lot of tasks so yes uh my brain in the end went to the most
like extravagant solution but it looks like bob sort of thought about it for five minutes
couldn't really come up with anything and then went fuck it there's nothing i can do with the
apple yeah and it is a good thing it is impressive but he he also
seems surprised in the studio when he hears that it's had 500,000 views on YouTube so but he didn't
realize quite how many people would recognize it from would I lie to you no but the thing is what
I like to you is a very successful well-publicized show a lot of people watch a BBC show yeah yeah
on the BBC yeah it's on the television yeah I think you can really only you can really
only bring that out once in a uh famous national tv show but there you go he got he got some points
and that's how you win just keep clocking them up yeah this is this is part of Greg's innate
respect for Bob I think gives him maybe bumps him up a point now and again yeah yeah and also
it is impressive and there would have been some
people I suppose who hadn't seen it so yeah difficult to argue with but you don't feel like
you didn't feel like Bob used the entire 20 minutes on that basically it was an hour actually
oh that's right it was that's how I managed to get someone to go and pick it up yeah I don't
reckon that's an hour's work no unless quite a lot of it is picking a good apple.
Maybe you have to get an entire bushel
and sort of pick through them.
Maybe he shinned up into a tree and found an apple there,
but then you'd like to see more of that on film if he did.
And something else there's no arguments about
is the fact that Sally got five points
for pretending to have sex with the water cool in the caravan.
Yeah, well, this was one of, I think it's fair
to say, several moments where Sally
solved a problem in a very sexual way.
And
few people would have begrudged her the points
for it, I think.
It was pretty incredible.
It was the best one, but also
it was fairly clear
being around her that she did,
she was working some stuff out basically during that.
So I think she, you know, regardless of the points
that she just did, she came to work that day,
always likely to have sex with something
like a water cooler, I think, you know.
What I absolutely love is when it finishes playing
and you cut back to the studio
and of all the people to be sat there having to watch that and then be sat next to the lady who
did it uh you Nish and Alex Horne three of the most uncomfortable men around that sort of thing
I could possibly imagine yeah none of us were quite sure what to do with it but at least at
least we've been around we've been with sally by now enough to know that
this wasn't completely unexpected i think horn's discomfort is the most funny because he'd seen it
and knew about it but still still was like that yeah again a lovely job by the team on the edit
of that yeah beautiful the water pouring out the door all of that sort of stuff it was great i
remember us all being pretty stunned by that VT in the studio, actually.
There was no doubt where the points were going on that one.
Yes, and the same caravan where I,
but three years later, had sex with a pot of hummus.
It's a place where stuff can happen, eh?
It's got a certain vibe to it.
So it's five points for Sally,
four points, amazingly, for Nish's kick, five points for Sally, four points amazingly for
Nish's kick,
three points for Bob's apple,
two points for Aisling's fishing disaster
and sadly one point
for your travelling water cooler,
Mark. Yeah, I'm really up against it now. One point
for that and one point for the theft of
Greg's trousers and you're starting to think I'm
not going home with the swag here.
Your water cooler moment, that was fucking fucking water cooler, wasn't it?
I didn't have a better idea. No, you didn't.
And then I kept saying, I probably shouldn't do this.
And then you guys, a whole, like a ring of men going,
no, I think you probably should do this.
Ring of men sounds... Yeah.
And then once I'd established that as a kind of theme for the show,
but now we're like into episode five,
it's kind of almost dull that I did that, isn't it?
Not for me. Not for me.
I don't think anyone found it dull, Sally.
No, it was incredible. It was definitely unexpected.
Gosh, yeah, and quite a climax to the whole thing.
This is your bonus task.
Send the Taskmaster an anonymous cheeky text message
every single day for the next five months.
Your time starts now.
I mean, this is just... This is heartbreaking heartbreaking what is there to say about this really i mean um yeah i i uh
with hindsight it is difficult as i think i've said to you i might have said before it's difficult
to believe that i didn't know because it's not as if it's the only time on Taskmaster someone's been the only person doing a task, but yeah.
They do create an atmosphere where you sort of don't,
where you don't really question it. And also, I mean,
not that implausible that everyone would be doing it because,
but as I think I've said, I might've said to you,
I might've said it when I was on the podcast the other time,
there was with hindsight, a slight clue, which was that when I was out the task uh the podcast the other time there was um with hindsight a slight
clue which was that when i was out for a drink with him one time alex did ask how the how the
daily text going and if we'd all been doing that it would have been quite strange for him to ask
that um yeah and then but i still didn't i still didn't um clock anything from that.
I assumed, and I think we have also discussed this,
I didn't think they were going to Greg and disrupting his life either.
I assumed that I was just texting the production team
or that some unfortunate person was carrying this phone around
and they were being logged.
Because again, I thought we were all doing it
and there was no way the actual Greg could be getting five of five of those every day but the solution was in a way simpler it was him and it was just me
you think about it and of course you are the only person in that lineup that would do it and stick
to it well that's also that's also true but I don't I don't think I knew that either because
as we've said I was oblivious to how much I was over trying
compared with certain other people on the team.
Yeah, Nish wouldn't have got beyond the first week, I don't think.
Because, of course, it did.
It compromised your life.
I was sending them all from a pay-as-you-go phone that they'd given me,
so that had to come everywhere with me.
I also had the numbers stored onto my phone so that if i did uh forget which did happen sometimes i could send them from my phone um then there was the the inconvenience that i went on
bear grills celebrity island for one month the period and i had to pre-write uh 28 texts for my partner to send um and uh i didn't know about that oh yeah i
there's there's a there's a whole month of the text which which uh which i had to um i had to
leave her with a sheet of 28 texts um oh my god and and mark that i mean that if anyone's seen
pay girls the island you were at some stages, I'd say, on death's door.
There'd be times when I was, yeah,
sort of shivering from head to foot,
considerably under my optimum body weight,
hadn't eaten or slept for about six days,
and it would come into my head,
I hope those texts are still going.
What an awful situation if you'd passed away on Bear Grylls' island and then a text still
arrives from you the next day yeah I could have been I could have been dead for for well up to
28 days and there'd still be communications from me to Greg saying things like hey cutie I have a
big penis yeah and those those would have been technically my last recorded utterances as well so uh really
lucky that i did i don't think i'd want that to be my well i was gonna say i don't know if i'd want
that to be my sort of final footprint in the world but actually i think i've probably good other than
the song with nish the texts are sort of among my most celebrated contributions to human civilization
so i suppose i shouldn't be ungrateful really i mean it's just the only way that that could have ended is getting zero
i think so i think that makes it that makes it more memorable as well yeah i think it's the
perfect stunt for that reason people often assume that i'm um you know bear a grudge about it i think
a part of alex still does he couldn't look me in the face certainly uh during the recording um
there was a camera break or something like a reset shortly before we did this I think
I suppose because all the cameras were on me for for uh that period and um I remember Alex
muttering something like now I don't know how you're going to feel about what happens next
and um but I didn't know what he meant because i didn't even know it was the texting task you
never know what task is under discussion next i was just aware that i was getting quite a bit of
attention from the production crew uh that's it even after alex had said that i i still but then
i did start to feel like something wasn't wasn't right. And then I think when they showed the VT with me alone opening the envelope
and reading the 150 texts, I started to realise then,
and I was absolutely thrilled, of course.
I mean, horrified, but also to be part of a moment like that was brilliant.
I couldn't stop laughing.
I couldn't get past how stupid
and funny it was basically.
Hey sexy, just getting in touch. This is the first of 150 messages you're in for a treat.
That is quite cheeky but look how I'm not very far into the book now of your 150 texts
and yet page 12 I have a big dick.
LAUGHTER
It's cheeky, isn't it?
Is that cheeky?
I think it's the sort of edgier side of cheeky, yeah.
There are different sorts of cheeky as well.
You said, can you lend me 50 quid?
LAUGHTER
Cheeky could... I thought it might just mean impertinent
Are you going to give him a point?
You asked him to 150, he did 148
Oh, then I can give him no points
Let's do task three, which is
Make the tallest tower of cans on this table
Highest tower wins
Also, whilst building your tower, you must shake Alex's hand
And say you're from a different country once every 10 seconds alex will blow his whistle every 10
seconds your time ends when you fail to shake alex's hand and say you're from a different
country before alex blows his whistle your time starts when alex blows his whistle now this this
is in a way very much up my street because i knew i would not run out of countries um but on the other hand as we've seen
something like constructing a very basic structure out of cans is not up my street so this is a
classic um clash of styles between someone that didn't really bother with the task but could
easily make a tower and um yeah I well I think it came up i mentioned i managed to name half of the countries in the
world but could never get the tower of i couldn't even get one more you know it was a brilliant
it's classic taskmaster this i think a real um sisyphean task the number of times i returned
to that table only for the tower to collapse again was uh 92 countries you named 92 countries yeah i've got six cans yeah incredible really if
you put me and bob together you it would have been you know you could have accomplished a tower of
literally any height in the world i would have thought but um i was i think part of it was i
mean i love sort of you know geographical trivia and stuff like that so i was i was thinking i was
so focused on
each country as it came along that i that every time i went up to the tech like a like a dog or
something like an animal again and again failing to learn a lesson in an experiment i every time
i went up to the tower i think i shit shit the tower um but of course you had to get back in
time to shake his hand every time is this is one of my favorite tasks because of the number of task master
elements that it brings together.
Basically it's,
it's classic horn this really to make you do think about so many things at
once.
I was terrified of not getting back in time to shake his hand.
I was terrified of panicking and saying Dubai or something.
It wasn't technically a country,
which I think someone did get away with, but not really, you know.
And so in the middle of that, the architecture of the tower,
I never got beyond the basics.
Yeah, but you still got the five points,
and it was very impressive that you named 92 countries
versus Bob's three, who are just a very confident display from Bob.
The only person, and this is something else that makes it a classic task master task.
The only person to spot that the standing in the noose was not a necessary
part of the task.
Astonishing. I mean, yeah, if I, that's,
it's the equivalent of me realizing you put the light on in the rainbow
painting task, I suppose you do have these moments of clarity and,
but again, it's's it was probably I
wouldn't be surprised if it occurred to viewers um about the noose or at least quite a lot of
viewers because you know it's fair it's a real elephant in the room that that's not part of the
wording but again in the heat of it especially with with like within blowing that whistle again
and again you do you've lost your marbles quite quickly but yeah i look back with fondness on that on that country's task i that was very much the sort of thing uh that i liked
doing taskmaster for although again when it when it was played back again i assumed everyone
would have had no trouble naming countries um but just struggled with the actual architecture
because again you you don't remember that everyone isn't like you so when the vt went on
pretty well yeah this did pretty well with the countries he's uh you know that's the sort of thing this is good
at as well but again uh not so good at the building but he's still got five points which
is pretty good a rare three points he he tends to be uh hanging around at the lower end normally
the occasional five points um sally i mean this is a confident display of absolute nonsense from
sally this is the person you're referring to when you uh when you mentioned dubai i think
yeah most countries she names aren't countries or yeah which was she does name she then immediately
repeats very much part of the task not to do that yeah um it's so funny that the first three that she names two of them are Italy yeah I feel like
you know sort of lucky to survive that really yeah I think most people including Sally could
name more countries than Italy twice given that opportunity so you have to one but yeah as we've
said the the brief was a was complicated the task was
complicated i could see how you'd lose it slightly in that situation yeah i think she just went she
just remembered one thing which is the cans and countries and she just did a sort of approximation
of that it wasn't the only time sally would do some of the tasks but leave out a crucial bit
everyone was guilty of that but yeah yeah uh it's very funny um and ash poor ashling let's talk about
ashling this is another absolute harsh judgment from greg i think yeah it's so it's so funny
though the fact she gets one can in misses the first handshake and they let her carry on and
they she names so many countries and they didn't even show it yeah yeah she she was very harshly
dealt with here i think especially given
what other people did get away with on the same task yeah yeah oh the fact it's just the fact they
they only say you named all these countries and you got a really high tower and they didn't even
show an edit of it she's so upset there are times when uh i mean i don't think anyone's got a leg
to stand on complaining wise when you think about that text
thing again, just to briefly go back to that.
But there are
times for all of us on Taskmaster where you
yeah, it's acknowledged
that you did something really well, but you don't even get
to see it, and it really
is bittersweet that, knowing the
viewing public just has to imagine it.
So it was sadly
one point for Aisling's one can,
two points for Sally's two cans,
three points for Nish's five cans,
and six cans for you and Bob,
and that was the five points.
But if it was done on countries,
you'd win by some considerable distance,
92 versus three.
Still proud of that, though,
that turned things around for me on the episode.
Oh, you... buggers. proud of that though that that to turn things around for me on the year and the episode oh you I am from Italy Australia from Italy from Alaska Abu Dhabi. Abu Dhabi? Abu Dhabi. From Dubai. Beirut.
Oh!
From, er, er, Kuala Lumpur.
Portugal.
Portugal.
Poland.
Denmark.
Georgia.
Poland.
Denmark.
Georgia.
Doha.
Please, God, let that be a country. let's talk about find the fins the live task
find the fins you must you may each ask one question to one person your question must not
pertain to the nationality of the people you must then write which number you think is a fin
most accurate fin finder wins again quintessential quintessential Taskmaster stuff, this, really.
A Scandinavian.
There's a Scandinavian person you have to find.
Very Taskmaster.
Very Taskmaster, this.
And classic high-stakes stuff as well,
because despite all of my misfortunes on this episode,
you're thinking, I'm just a fin away from Gloria.
And you got it.
You got the five points.
You found the fins.
Aisling and Nish got the four points bob and sally got two points i don't want to talk about this too much it's fairly
straightforward you know i think everyone asked decent questions i think though was it sally
asked someone how to say something in finnish which yeah i don't i think if something pertains
to someone's nationality that's probably quite high up, isn't it?
For sure, yeah.
And you'd think that would have been enough to do it, really. Yeah.
And also, yeah, I don't quite know how, looking back, I did.
But I do remember feeling fairly confident about the Finns.
I don't think i factored
in the questions that much i think i just at least one really you just saw them and you were like
those two are finished at least one of them i there was one just difficult to be more scientific
than this but just looked so finished i just couldn't see past that is that a skill that
you've employed since taskmaster could you spot a fin on the street or pick one up since taskmaster i have i've been to finland went there the following year on
holiday but it's not much of a skill there of course because uh mostly there it's not really
seen as a party trick um no actually i tried though i'd imagine when you when you arrived
of course i did a bit of it in the airport, but it soon wore off, yeah.
No, actually, like a lot of the things that I demonstrated surprise prowess on in Taskmaster,
it's not a very transferable skill, unfortunately.
And that's just not me, that's everyone.
You might come away from Taskmaster
sort of having found that you're incredibly good
at making a machine for throwing coconuts
or disguising yourself. But actually but actually yeah very few of these tasks um stand you in good stead
really but i was it was a great feeling when the fin when the reveal happened though um and uh
yeah of course it won you the episodes incredibly despite everything despite all of the
tribulations of this episode, yeah.
But this is what I'm talking about, Mark.
You had such a,
on the face of it was a disastrous episode
and you still somehow won.
Yeah, it's,
I do remember feeling quite proud.
And actually, and feeling quite competitive.
I remember looking hard at those fins thinking,
you know, I deserve this.
I deserve this redemption story.
This will be,
uh,
and,
um,
yeah,
so this is probably my most memorable episode because,
and again,
this is what we talk about,
you know,
about,
um,
people's perceptions.
No one remembers.
I don't think that I won the same episode that I was cheated of the
trousers.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
But that is 16,
16 points.
It's a story of human triumph over adversity, basically.
Yeah.
Again, when you look at the effort levels,
the accumulated effort levels of all those tasks,
me versus Mortimer,
you'd have to say I earned that episode.
Definitely.
It was 16 points for the victory.
Aisling, second, 15 points.
Bob and Sally on 14 points.
And of course, thank God for Nish,
it's him on 13 points at the bottom.
And at the moment, Mark, five
episodes in, you're in the lead.
You're in the lead in the series by five
points. I know, mad, really,
to think about. And
I didn't even do
that badly in the final episode,
but Bob just had a bit
too much for me. I think, still going to the end of that episode, would just had a bit too much for me i think
still going to the end of that episode still had a mathematical chance though yeah yeah um i mean
god knows what would have happened if i'd won and gone through to the champion of champions
because i don't think i would have've we've covered they're about all the
things that you could uh you could imagine they're about yes i had one from chris christian in
virginia in america um really having a go at me for for sort of lumping you in with Nish
and how you could have won
and don't do our boy
dirty Christian ended the email
we don't want to say that over here
thanks Christian
thanks for your protectiveness
hopefully this episode has gone some
way to me undirtying the boy
it really has I mean
the episodes of this i've
heard before i didn't feel that i've been done that much for disservice really but people you
know people can be very defensive uh sometimes that's that's uh the reward i get for uh endlessly
doing myself down i think um this is from katie in scotland we'll just we'll just do this all
because i really like this email um when tim key was on the podcast he said that him and alex have hugged once and they both hated it so much they vowed never to
do it again mark had had you ever hugged alex before the cuddle alex task because it felt like
watching two strangers who have never touched each other before trying to cuddle and not two people
who've known each other for 20 years i think i think that is accurate yeah i don't recall any
hugs i could have just just given Alex a regular hug
and said that does count as a special hug between us
by the standards of the past 15 years.
I'm now actively thinking about,
I'm thinking about stuff like, you know,
stag nights and other,
we've certainly been in situations
where it would have been normal.
There might have been drunken hugs,
but no, both of us were sort of out of practice,
it's fair to say.
And the suit didn't really help either.
He wasn't very huggably dressed, I didn't think.
So yeah, I think Tim and Alex and I
have done many things together,
but at no point have we had a proper day of hugging.
No, it's fair to say.
And that does come across in the task, it's true.
Yeah, very good friends.
You work together very well, but I'll tell you what,
when lockdown came around
and you got the opportunity to do things distanced.
I'm absolutely delighted.
You guys really leapt at it.
Your chemistry really comes alive
when you're in separate rooms.
Couldn't be happier doing Zoom stuff
and not having to ever see each other again.
It's the format we were always looking for really uh mark thank you so much for coming back on the taskmaster podcast we of course always ask our guests to rate their experience on
the podcast between one and five points this has obviously uh been um quite an episode for you a
lot of memories dredged up i I don't know if that's affected
your point score of your experience
on the podcast,
but let's hear your points, please, Mark.
Last time I awarded it five
without hesitation.
And I've had an equally nice time this time,
but I think I'm going to say
two points this time.
In the spirit of being swindled
out of points,
which this episode is about,
just so that you can feel
a tiny bit of the hurt
and betrayal. And hopefully listeners as well will feel you know uncomfortable and sad about
that and they again will be sharing um some of what i had to live with that day thank you very
much mark lovely episode actually with mark big fan of that episode uh lots to talk about lots to say
um i will be tweeting that video of me throwing my trousers into the boot of my car once i've
worked out how to blur out my number plate although it's an old car which i think's been
scrapped so i don't know the legality behind that. But I will be tweeting that video as extra content to this podcast.
It's rare that we do extra content
because the podcast is itself extra content.
Anyway, come back next week.
We'll be talking about series five,
episode six with another fantastic special guest.
Email us taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com
with your questions about that episode,
about the series, about Taskmaster in general,
or any guests that you'd like to see on in the future ask some questions in advance
and then when we interview them we can ask them those questions thank you very much for listening
goodbye
you Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
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