Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 67. Alex Horne - Champion of Champions S1-5 Ep.2
Episode Date: February 10, 2022To finish the Champion of Champions two-parter Ed is joined by the show creator and assistant to The Taskmaster - it's Little Alex Horne! Alex returns to the podcast with some great Champion of Champi...on's behind the scenes exclusives and even some Series 13 teasers! Enjoy, your time starts now! Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for AvalonTelevision Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, the host to the Taskmaster podcast.
It's me, Ed Gamble, the host of the Taskmaster podcast,
where we chat about Taskmaster, the TV show,
not the Marvel supervillain, episode by episode.
And today we are talking specifically about
Champion of Champions Series 1-5, Episode 2.
It's the most complicated we'll ever get with the numbers. about Champion of Champions Series 1-5 Episode 2.
It's the most complicated we'll ever get with the numbers.
I mean, just want to let everyone know we're not talking about Champion of Champions
from Series 6-9.
That's not what we're talking about.
We've had a lot of confusion on the tweets.
Oh my God, are they talking about Champion of Champions next week?
Yes, but not the one you're excited about that you've not seen yet.
It's the one you should be excited about that you have already seen.
And if you've not seen it, go back and watch it.
Champion of Champions, Series 1-5, Episode 2.
Because that's what we'll be chatting about today.
And today we'll be talking about that episode with our very special guest, Alex Horne.
Yes, Taskmaster's assistant, Taskmaster creator, king of Taskmaster, unless you count the Taskmaster.
I hope he's not listening. He will crush me for saying that.
Very good to have Alex back on the pod. It's been a while. We've not had any bonus facts.
We've not spoken to Alex in a while. He's been a very busy boy making more Taskmaster for us to talk about.
So it's a real privilege to have him on.
And hopefully we'll get some behind the scenes peeks at what went on in Champion of Champions series one to five episode two. So without further ado let's
hear from Alex. Let's go. Welcome Alex back of course to the Taskmaster podcast.
Welcome Alex back of course. It's the old phrase. You've been away for a bit you don't know about the new
catchphrase I have. Welcome Alex back of course. Welcome Alex back of course to the Taskmaster
podcast of course. Well thank you of course for having me at the podcast back. It's uh yeah I'm
sorry I haven't been the sort of uh bonus fact finder for a bit but I could I've been looking
I just couldn't find any facts. I've been for weeks also you've been very busy making new Taskmaster etc so you've
been creating new future bonus facts oh and that's how I see my job is creating
bonus future facts yes so I hope as you've been making new Taskmaster you've
been jotting down bonus future facts yes well. Well, I've not only jotted them down.
Yeah.
I've typed them up.
Whoa.
And then jotted them down again.
Yeah, that's good.
Double Dutch.
Yeah.
That's what we like to hear.
That is the definition of double Dutch.
Yes.
Yes.
Now, you're making lots of new Taskmaster at the moment.
Are there any clues or little tasters or
any little just exciting tidbits you can tell us I'll tell you I'll just tell you everything shall
I then everyone will be happy um well there's lots of good stuff to come I did the names have
been announced for the spring series so we know that Ardell O'Hanlon's in it and he is my hero
and I know that's also the show he did,
but I'm so excited about him.
But the other four are equally as good.
But honestly, Ardell was like my Bob.
Yeah.
Again, it's like having Bob back on it.
He's such a lovely man
and somebody I watched all my life.
So yeah, he's my number one fave,
but I don't have favourites as we know.
We're all, yeah, we're very excited to see series 13. i think
it's a great lineup i think you've got a little bit of everything in there in terms of the dynamic
yes yes yes and also i think people like judy love who was moved on to strictly as soon as she
finished taskmaster as everyone does now yeah i was really sad when she got voted off um strictly reasonably early
and it just made me so glad we don't vote people off this program it's such a yes not stupid thing
but it's a frustrating thing if you're just getting to know someone and it made me very
happy you've got 10 weeks of judy love because she is extraordinary and so funny and then yes
sophie duker brilliant bridget christie everyone should know Bridget Christie and then Chris Ramsey is the Duracell
bunny, the funny Duracell bunny
you want someone like him on the show
always, he gives it everything
it's a good line up
it's a really good line up and actually
I've seen the beginning of the
first episode and make
everyone really angry out there
and they hit the ground running
they sort of find their roles immediately, I'd say,
which has only happened a couple of times,
and this is one of those series.
Yeah, I'd say also it's a happy bunch,
but not without its issues
in that we want them to not always be happy.
Otherwise, there's no, there's nothing to...
There's got to be some friction.
Yeah, you need stuff to grind against.
I think Judy made me cry laughing in the first five minutes.
Yeah, she does that throughout.
She is amazing.
I've really, really, really, really liked her.
She's got absolutely no filter between what she thinks and then what she says.
And everything she thinks is really funny.
But we're not here to talk about those those new people we're here to talk about the champion of champions from series one to five episode two broadcast alex on 20th of december 2017 can you
remember was it yeah it was yeah okay four and a half years ago. Yeah, when we were all, everything was fine
and we didn't know about pandemics and stuff.
We'd never heard of pandemics.
No.
Well, I'd heard of pandemics.
We were singing a song called Spanish Flu
in the horn section at that point.
And the last line was,
but the next pandemic's due.
Ah.
And we sung it on the last leg,
the year before the pandemic.
And then the pandemic came out
and we sort of
looked like we're saying guys we predicted that but um did you get any publicity off it was that
the plan to try and sort of sell records yeah we thought shift more live tickets but um
cancel the tour instead um yes so four and a half years ago this happened we probably filmed it four
and a half years ago yeah sure did you ever was that always the plan i mean obviously when you started doing taskmaster you
didn't envisage it maybe going for that many series because you never do you never do know
that sort of thing when you start a new show um how quickly did you come up with the idea of
champion of champions or was it always just a sort of background joke uh there's definitely
definitely back then very little planning so i
imagine and this is my memory is getting worse and worse i imagine it was when they commissioned
series five we then said could we do a champions of champions i will definitely say that dave was
so good and are so good at being at reacting to things and just saying yeah you can do that
and also it's a very it's a very strong episode i was watching it again last night it's probably the episode i've seen the least like i probably i've not but just because you want to
get involved in the full series right but yeah it's got some seminal some seminal moments in for
me as when i look back which i don't often do but there are definitely tasks that stand out and
always there are tasks that i'd completely forgotten about yeah because we've done hundreds
so so yeah i watched it back as well uh but i but and kind of fast forward because i misjudged the out and always there are tasks that I'd completely forgotten about because we've done hundreds. So
yeah, I watched it back as well. But and kind of fast forward because I misjudged the time and I haven't had a shower yet today. Okay, good. This is all good information. Good to know.
But you've got a footy shirt on. I did some exercise in the garden with my dog. Yeah. I
went to do some sort of running around in the garden like my neighbors I think watch but the dog stole my shoe
and the exercise was me chasing the dog around the garden that's pretty good exercise though yeah
yeah it's quite funny let's talk about these tasks because obviously what an amazing lineup we can talk we can talk
about that as we chat through the prize task first let's do it yes yes we open on a bonus
task technically yeah yeah yeah yeah this is a pleasure this is in the good old days
when uh we'd only done a couple at that point, probably.
The secret task for just one person.
And Josh Whittakin has always been the greatest at that.
Yeah.
Well, he was, I guess, the first person to receive one of the counting beans.
Yeah.
So you'd think we couldn't do it to him again.
But we did it to him again.
And he didn't suspect a thing.
No, he's just so exasperated, isn't he?
All of the time.
Poor little Josh.
And it's sing along to the Taskmaster theme tune,
most powerful and champion-like wins.
Your time starts now.
I mean, it's the perfect person to do it to.
He's so awkward.
And he tries to do a little spin at the end
and blow a kiss down the camera.
I've never seen anything more uncomfortable.
Well, he's also wearing an England football kit from the 1966 World world cup so he's a bit like stephen gerrard i
think trying to kiss the camera but also nothing like stephen gerrard and uh and what he does quite
well he sits on it so we we showed that in the studio and then no one mentioned it and he didn't
mention it at all till he got to his turn in the prize task. And then it all came out.
So I like that that was bubbling away in his little head for ages.
Yeah.
I was very impressed by that, obviously,
because if it was me,
you'd hear me during the titles at the top.
You'd hear me shouting and screaming and going off.
I don't know how to pick my moment, do I, Alex?
So I'd just be shouting at the top of my voice.
Yeah, it genuinely made me think
he is a good professional panel show comedian yeah yeah he knows what to do he's not
just a ranting and raving man yeah um i think it's a lot of that when in the prize bit of keeping in
what the other people have said if you want to do that section well as a comedian rather than a
contestant keeping in what other people have done and then referring back to it which is obvious i suppose but not everyone is good at that and yeah it is
a skill not to just blurt out but what that's that's nonsense mine was better well so but
sometimes it needs to be said you know you just gotta say it straight away we need to we need all
the different types of people yes yeah. Professional paddle show comedians and Ed.
And he got nought points for that, which seems very harsh,
but I guess you didn't offer anyone else the opportunity to do it.
And in a two-episode thing, when people really care about winning,
it probably took off a bit.
Well, also, we were scarred by the beans point and the outcry.
His beans point, which won him this place in the Champions show.
So we couldn't do it
again um although i agree it's tough because it does say in the wording most powerful or most
champion like singing wins so i guess we would probably get away with it by thinking
well it is one of the best even though no one else did it it still wasn't very champion still
wasn't very champion like and also greg can just do what he wants, can't he? Yes, you say that to his face.
He would say he can't do what he wants.
He has to do what he thinks people want him to do.
Right, but he never does.
And he's wracked by guilt.
No.
And he's not getting any better.
Still feels guilty about doing stuff?
Yeah, still feels guilt and still makes incredibly irrational,
but also unmathematical
decisions it still bugs me when he goes yeah five points then we'll have two people get four points
and then the next three the next person get two anyway you can always see you get all flustered
with your ipad yeah right okay right okay so two okay fine you don't argue we should predetermine
we should predetermine the points
and tell people what's happening next.
Yeah, three series in advance.
I've always heard that.
You should decide who's going to win.
Hand out the tasks.
Get it done.
Make it better.
Make it more logical.
So the prize task is best thing.
I'd forgotten that.
I'd forgotten that watching it back,
thinking that was the moment when it looked like
we'd really run out of ideas, I suppose.
But then even now you suddenly go,
we've never done the biggest thing.
Or, you know, there are plenty of simple things out there.
But the best thing, I like that for the fight,
you know, for the second leg of the champions.
Best thing is good.
Definitely.
And I like those broad ones because it shows
how different people are and how people attack it in a diverse way, like you say. champions best thing is good definitely and i like those broad ones because it shows how how
different people are and how how people attack it in a in a diverse way like you say yeah and
the difference here i know we'll come on to them last but the difference between josh's and bob's
approaches here really shows their personalities and the fact that they get the same points is
brilliant but we'll come on to them in a sec i think it also shows and we'll come to them in a
sec but it also shows um the the time apart of their series,
that one was series one and one was series five,
because they're the sort of very series one
and series five approaches.
Anyway, Catherine Ryan,
I thought this was harshly scored.
She brought in a jacket with the patch
of a terrible drawing of Romesh Ranganathan on it,
embroidered with the gig he was doing at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles. This is probably my favourite
out of all of them.
Really? Oh, no, I think I agree with Greg on this. So you've started with this because
she comes in last. Is that why you've started with this?
Yes, I think so.
Yes, fine. No, that's good.
I think the trouble is when you look at all five together, maybe it is the thing you'd actually want the most,
but I don't think it's the best thing.
Well, it made me laugh the most.
Did it now?
Well, that's not the category, Ed.
It's not what makes you laugh.
It's what's the best.
And I think it's the worst.
Because you wouldn't wear it.
It's horrible.
It's the opposite of the best thing.
I would wear it.
Would you?
Yeah, you would.
I think my issue with it is that I think she would have brought that in
regardless of the category.
Yeah, there is that.
And I'm not sure why she had it.
I'm not convinced she made it for the show.
I can't really remember. But it is nice that it had she made it for the show. I can't really remember.
But it is nice that it had a link to another contestant
and it was definitely funny.
So it's a good start.
She's unlucky to get one point,
especially because the next two people get three points.
Yeah, exactly.
Let's talk about, yeah, Josh.
So Josh's prize is the keys to his house,
which I think feels very series one or two of Taskmaster.
When the point of the prize task
or the way that people started doing the prize task
was really putting up something massive.
So everyone would go, oh my God, what if they lose that?
So we had loads of that sort of stuff
in the first couple of series.
Yeah, we had wedding rings, we had cars, that sort of thing.
Even series four, I think a similar one to this.
Mark Watson put the door, it was best door. Oh best door oh sorry series five you're right with bob uh the the door to his
garden which uh there's a shared garden which people had access to and i should say that was
genuine and i think the winner does have access to that garden but i wasn't convinced that the
winner of this show was gonna want access to josh's or be allowed josh's josh's
family whenever they wanted it yeah it's sort of a it's it's an odd sort of agreement thing isn't it
that yes if you win this you will get access to my house for example but would you be the sort of
person to actually use that i like to think what i would do if i'd won the episode and i got that key i would frame the key because i i really like it when people have other
people's possessions in their homes because they want to show and there's a story you know so
somebody else has got tim key's um reindeer skull yeah on their wall because they i think that's
great it's still tim's object in a way but it's in somebody else's house. So I would have Josh's key framed on a wall.
But I would also use it.
I would find out when Josh is away from Josh.
Because I don't live in London.
And I would use it to stay in London sometimes.
And so would my children.
Yeah, I would use it.
My children would use it growing up.
Because they're going to really struggle, I think, the next generation.
And London's so expensive. So if they had a pad
in London...
Yeah. So you'd let your kids
nip in? I'd let my kids
nip in. Yeah.
Yeah, that's fair enough.
Once their child is
double digits, I suppose.
You don't want to scare anyone, do you?
You'd wait for them to be on holiday or something
and then you'd go round.
But Josh is good because he plays the game.
He didn't offer up his house.
He offered up keys to the house.
You know, he's not...
It's got to be believable that he would give up this thing.
So he's sharing the thing rather than giving the thing.
So it's good, but it only came joint third
with a broccoli dispenser.
Well, this is the thing, isn't it's it's what you're what you're trying to show there that you're putting up the you know the most
expensive best thing the thing that has the highest stakes or you're trying to do the thing
that makes greg laugh the most and it's it's so dependent like and it's obviously funnier
it's this is obviously josh's house keys are obviously they're four or five points really for best thing
but it is funnier to make them get the same
points as the broccoli
delivery unit which is an elephant that spins round
but also I think if somebody
if you were having dinner at Bob Mortimer's house
and he brought out this wind up elephant
that broccoli spins round
I think you'd probably go wow that is the best
you might say that phrase out
loud you would never say that phrase if somebody gave you their house keys i don't think you'd say
that's the best you go that's weird well you might say this is the best thing that's ever
happened to me because now when i'm in london i can stay around in london and my kids have got
the future because it's going to be difficult well so yes you might use the phrase for both of them
yeah that's a good thing about the best the best it's so vague that i think there is some logic in greg's decision but i also think he knew what
he was doing and it's very funny to say that his family are as good as an elephant that spins
properly around that we also saw in a previous series when he put a sausage on it instead
and so close to that as well so that i think that was like towards the end of series five or
something so we've seen that so i think i watched these back to back i was watching binge watching the first time i saw
them i was like that's i saw that yeah yeah but that is bob's way and no one minds with bob he
sort of manages to recycle not recycle jokes but his things and we we have this in the task later
on the episode which i'll mention them but you just love it when when Bob brings back one of the Bob things. And it got
cheers in the room.
I think people have probably even seen him
use his sausage
dispenser elephant broccoli system
in his real life.
So I think,
mostly with Bob, I'm just always grateful that he did the show
and infected us with a bit of
Bob Mortimer-ness. I don't think he wanted
to win the Champions.
But the fact that he came back was so chuffed.
Champion of champions, Bob, is a different beast to series Bob.
He's a bit more punk in this series.
I think he, not that he cares less, I think he's just a bit more, I mean, we'll see later
in the tidying up thing.
I think he's a bit more absolutely just steaming and get it done
i'm not sure it's cool to win always i i genuinely think it's cool to win your series but it's
and ah it's not very bob to win champions of champions it's very bob to win the series but then
chuck it all away in the final to be a funnier person i suppose yes yeah you don't want to see
him be desperate no totally and he's not at all i mean he brought in the same prize as the as the series yeah um
noel brought in a song um from kasabian called you're the best thing four points yeah yeah yeah
uh absolutely absolutely rubbish i thought rubbish but he went to an extra... He did go to another level of...
They're a huge band.
They're a massive band.
Yeah, but he knows them.
They were clearly just in a toilet at some awards ceremony.
But they did sing You're the Best Thing in the lyrics.
So...
I think there may be something going on
where Greg didn't want Kasabian to think...
Oh, he did call them rubbish. Yeah, I know't know I maybe that maybe they were over marked maybe that could have been you
know I don't think they'd be you know if Serge just happens to be listening to this I don't
think he'd be upset for me to say that their song you're the best thing that Noel Fielding
cornered them and made them write in a toilet is not amongst their best work yeah and also the fact
that the winner gets that that doesn't make an awful lot of sense.
Do they get that on a...
I can't remember.
Did we put it on a CD?
I guess we probably did.
We always do try to make it a thing you can take home.
But I still think, though,
it's better than a denim jacket
because it's unique.
Anything that's bespoke for the show,
and I do love it when there's an exterior person
suddenly in it.
We've had Dick and Dom. Dick and Dom, yeah. because we've had dick and dom dick and dom yeah and we've had weirdly um not bear grills the one who isn't bear
grills ben fogel so i love it when these people have appeared in taskmaster that's good yes yes
and the winner of this uh prize task was rob beckett with dell boys ring yeah which i mean
any one of them could have won, I think.
Yeah.
Because if you're a big fan of sitcoms and comedy,
I suppose it's a brilliant thing.
I think the really good thing about this prize
is you can see how much Rob genuinely loves it as a thing,
and it is his treasured best thing.
And he's got a lovely story about how it was given to him
by a costume person on a sitcom.
And I think that's what does it,
the fact you can actually see in his eyes that he loves
it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think it's fair enough.
Also, Del Boy, David Jason, films in Pinewood quite often when we film there.
And we quite often see him just before going in.
And that's weird.
Yeah.
And he sort of knows Greg slightly, but they have really lovely, awkward relationships.
And that's always fun to watch.
Checkered history. Checkered history.
Checkered history.
They're the same age.
Yeah, exactly the same age, aren't they?
Yeah.
You wouldn't know it.
It's one of those weird facts that comes up at dinner parties.
If people want to use that as a dinner party fact,
that Greg Davies and David Jason are the same age.
But Greg's actually a lot younger than he looks.
Yeah, amazingly. and David Jason are the same age. But Greg's actually a lot younger than he looks. Yeah.
Amazingly.
So it was five points for Rob Beckett's Del Boy Ring.
Noel Fielding's Kasabian Song, four points.
Joshua Rudikumskowski's, three points.
Bob Mortimer's Broccoli Rotation and Delivery Unit,
three points as well.
And one point for Catherine's denim jacket.
I thought, what thing in my life is the most valuable as, for Katherine's denim jacket.
I thought, what thing in my life is the most valuable, you know? So, I thought, well, my house.
We go.
Now, obviously, I still need to live in that house.
But you can have the keys, you can come and go as you please.
Who else lives in the house?
My girlfriend and our baby.
Oh.
And so...
LAUGHTER
Sounds like a cop.
You are more than welcome to be part of the thing
that I think is the best, my house and my family.
Ah.
I do put it on the chain from 11pm, so you will need to text ahead.
Task one, what's in the case? Fastest
wins, your time starts now. Love it. Maybe the first of this ilk. I don't know if we had many
sort of, we've become more escape room friendly as there's been a boom in that industry, I suppose,
because I love escape rooms and a lot of the tasks do reflect my real life at home with my children.
So yeah, so there's been
more escapee type things and i do like the simplicity of this watching this back if we
were doing this task now it would be open the box and then do something with what's in the box yes
etc etc but that makes life hard for the editors and this was a real simple thing just get inside
the box but there were four or five different ways of doing that yeah and everyone did something
different yeah it was a classic case of watching it from the back of the lab thinking oh thank inside the box, but there were four or five different ways of doing that. Yeah. And everyone did something different.
Yeah. It was a classic case of watching it from the back of the lab thinking,
oh, thank God, this is remarkable.
And we really don't produce it.
We don't say, well, watching this, do you want to start with our,
do you want to start with Catherine?
Yeah, sure.
Let's start, let's start with Catherine.
Cause unfortunately she lost this one as well, even though I thought she put in a valiant effort yeah so she went so there's a lot of things
written on the whiteboard in the lab and one of them was count all the rice count the rice in the
drawer count the rice in the drawer yeah so she went down that route that's what she took she
avoided the maths and went down that route and it took us so long to find that drawer and it was tantalizing watching but i promise you we weren't saying
keep looking there keep looking there or yeah this is a good tactic she just um would not give up and
that's her character she will not give up totally and i think the the counting the rice thing does
take the longest because you've got to find the drawer and then you've got to count that individual
rice but i think that's because you're rewarded for doing,
if you can do the maths, right, or you find the little tricks.
The counting the rice would seem like the easiest way to go.
Yeah, easiest but time consuming. That's true.
And it was definitely a nod back to Josh's counting the rice in his solo task.
And now I'm probably wrong here, so I don't want to give a wrong bonus fact,
but I think we may have had that drawer installed for this purpose
because there are some secret things in the house,
not all of which have ever been found, by the way.
Oh, really?
And we always think people coming onto the show
will know where these things are, but no one ever does.
Because even if you watch the show, it doesn't mean you watch all the show.
So, yeah, I love little things like that.
And that's our man, James Dillon, the designer who was a Crystal Maze designer as well,
who manages to slot in the secret things.
There's a secret compartment to my throne on the stage now,
that sort of thing.
Yes, you've got your little fun props.
I've got a little drawer for my little fun props.
Yeah, so I guess it's a drawer rather than a secret compartment.
Yeah.
But there wasn't one and then he puts things in.
He's great. So so yes that's what she
did she found the rice eventually yeah that would have i think that would have panicked me too much
um counting the rice everything would have panicked you too much oh that's true
that's true alex yeah i think that's true alex thank you um yeah well i'm trying to think how
which one okay let's do them all,
and then you tell me which method you would have done.
All right, okay.
And you can guess which method I would have done.
I think I know which method you would have done.
Yeah, we all know.
Is it the Noel method?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, okay, right.
Good to get that out of the way.
We'll just mash it up.
And that's why Josh would have held that back in his head,
but neither of us could.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
We knew it, so we had to say it.
Yes.
Bob, in Bob's sort of relaxed champion of champions persona,
literally just found the code,
just sort of shuffled about until he found the code on the front of the table.
So Bob's very, very intelligent, I think,
but also can't be arsed with the maths.
And it was slightly crossed that we put maths on there.
And then I think he sort of, I think you could see his brain going,
I remember doing this show.
I bet they put it on the front.
Yeah, they put it on the front.
But he said something which sort of amused me
and really annoyed me when he said,
oh, it would be brilliant if that wasn't the right number.
And as soon as he said that, I thought, yeah,
it would be much better if that wasn't the right number.
But that's where Bob's cleverer than me.
If we put the wrong number there, but there's a certain code in Taskmaster.
We don't want to trick you guys.
Yeah.
But we do want to sort of trick you.
But we don't want to trick you too much.
You know, there's a line that can't be crossed, I think.
Yeah, it's very Taskmaster to have the code in plain sight for everyone watching and then the contestant can't
see it but yeah to then trick to then trick them and it's the wrong number doesn't doesn't feel
right that feels a bit mean-spirited yeah it would be like having the wrong number of rice in the
drawer which by the way it's always worth noting that that is somebody's job to count out the
grains of rice to put in that drawer and if they get it wrong, the fury that I possess. Yeah.
No, it's funny.
No one would ever... What we don't have
is somebody double-checking
the rice counter.
That's just one...
That's someone's only job,
isn't it?
Yeah, but that's...
In America,
they would have somebody
checking the rice counter.
Yeah.
But yeah, yeah.
So Bob found it eventually
and I think he was almost annoyed
because Bob's always
wants to add a little bit
of extra humour. So he sort of weirdly found the most pedestrian route
yeah and then I think wished that there was another layer but also looks very cool doing it
um two points for Bob there uh Rob I mean this is probably the ultimate Beckett solving of a task
yeah this is the most Rob Beckett thing I've ever seen.
And Josh was sort of amazed by it
and I think definitely annoyed by it.
He said, that's amazing.
But you could see him going, that's not fair.
I did the maths.
Just shaking the case
and just running through some things it might be
and then landing on frozen peas and you stop the clock.
It was amazing.
It was stuffed full of frozen peas.
It was hard.
It wasn't rattly. was cold heavy so he did well to get i mean maybe there's only a certain number of possibilities and his guesses were much more logical than
noel's obviously yeah well no one just started doing a bush sketch yeah
um you can imagine what's in the case being a boosh sketch from like the old edinburgh shows
yeah yeah yeah but rob does this quite often that he just goes route one and he does that in the
first part of the chapter the champs when they had to bounce the ball into the bathtub which is a
really hard task and he nailed it straight away and he's got he's got that knack and i think that's
in his career as well he just sort of makes things look incredibly easy. Yeah. But he's brilliant at it.
Like his comedy,
you sort of go,
what's he doing there?
But it's very funny
and without apparently much effort.
But obviously there is a lot of effort
under the surface.
Yeah, huge amounts.
But also like the catchphrase
of don't think, just do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think Rob definitely applies
to a lot of stuff in his life,
which is,
I love Rob so much much but when you gig
with rob and you're doing a new bit or uh and then he just walks out and absolutely smashes it
or you're doing a panel show with rob and i'll be like i'm a bit worried about this bit this piece
don't worry about it mate you'll be all right just get on with it it's like that's not a helpful note
rob because we have very different brains that's the trouble we've got different brains yeah yeah
thank god we've got different brains do you know what trouble. We've got different brains. Yeah. Thank God we've got different brains.
Do you know what he said?
Do you know what he said to me
my first Mock of the Week?
I went, I'm really worried about this, Rob.
I'm a bit nervous.
He went, I always think,
don't worry about it
because if it doesn't go well,
I'll just open a shop.
Great.
Thanks, Rob.
But you've remembered that as an option.
I have, but it's not as an option.
It's just,
I've remembered it as an example
of an unhelpful thing to say.
But it's absolutely incredible.
Lovely work from Rob.
And I'd imagine it's a method that you weren't necessarily assuming
that someone could do.
No, we were keen that they didn't.
That was the whole point of packing the peas in like that
and picking something that we thought you wouldn't guess.
Although it's become a bit of a toss-muster staple but i think at that point it wasn't so it wasn't yeah it wasn't
watermelon yeah coconuts yeah people knew to us yeah yeah yeah or aubergines um potatoes yeah
uh now i'd say this is almost the the route one of doing it, is actually just working out the maths in front of you.
And Josh did it.
He just got stuck in.
He just did it.
And it was fun.
The edit of that was fun to do a beautiful mind thing of putting the maths,
which makes it look much harder than it was.
Like I've got to say, it's not, it's impressive maths, but it's not,
you know, it's not university level maths.
It is just primary school maths.
Or maybe secondary school maths, probably not university level maths. It is just primary school maths. Or maybe secondary school maths.
Probably sub GCSE maths.
But you've still got to do it
and you've got to be,
you've got to not mind being on telly doing maths.
Yeah.
Because you're sort of setting yourself up for a fall
if you get it wrong.
You know, you've got to be confident in your maths,
I suppose.
Yes.
I thought it was really interesting
that when Josh was doing it as well,
he was looking down the camera and being like,
is that...
So this is it.
It's just maths, isn't it?
You've just got to do maths.
That's not very good telly.
At no point did he consider
there was another way of doing it.
It was like, well, it'd just be everyone doing the maths.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good example of boring things
actually making good telly
because it's in contrast with other people.
And that happened a lot with him. I remember him
when he was counting the beans going, this won't be
entertaining.
It's entertaining because he's saying it's not entertaining.
And no one else is doing it.
Yeah, so well done. Well done, Josh.
I think he's proud of himself. I love it
when he's proud of himself.
You can tell he wears all his emotions on his little
face, doesn't he?
Yeah.
I can't do an impression of anyone.
Do you mind just quickly doing an impression of him?
I mean, who?
Oh, yes.
Who is not doing the maths?
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, I'm happy with that.
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd be a very different person if I could do impressions, I think.
You think?
It would change me completely.
It would give me so much more ballsiness.
And joie de vivre.
Yeah.
Who would you most like to be able to do an impression of?
I'd like to do the Queen.
Really?
But that's such a...
Everyone does the Queen, don't they?
Okay, not the Queen.
Blair?
I think maybe that's too sort of topical.
Lionel or Tony.
All right.
Maybe an American?
I'd love to do an American.
Yeah.
Any specific Americans that you like?
Like a cowboy?
Yeah.
An impression of a cowboy.
Yeah.
I reckon you could do it.
If you want to give it a little crack.
I've tried again and again.
Howdy.
Howdy.
I can't do it at all.
I don't know where to start with it.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, howdy's a good starting point.
That's just a word, though.
It's not an accent.
But if you nail howdy, you're right.
If I say, where's the gun?
Where's my...
I could copy you if you do it,
and I could do it straight after.
Howdy, where's my gun?
Howdy, where's my gun? Howdy, where's my gun?
And I promise I'm not trying to be bad.
Yeah, no, Alex is genuinely trying.
I can see it on his face.
Where's my gun?
Gun, gun, gun.
Have you ever had acting castings with an American accent?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I got given speech impediment lessons for my 18th birthday from my mum.
Oh, lovely. What a lovely treat.
Yeah, I didn't know I had a speech impediment when I was 18.
I also had swimming lessons for my 17th.
Never did either.
Because I can swim and I can talk.
can swim and I can talk.
Well, I mean, worst worst gift if you're ever on the on the show, and the price toss was worst gift, that would be great
speech impediment lesson. No, let's talk about no, he won, of
course, this task starts guessing gives it a go, does a
few wacky jokes and suggestions and then just smashes the hell
out of the case. Yeah, I like an example of a task which has meant we've had to put an extra line in future
tasks we now quite often have to put in you may not destroy things you may not break the box you
may not smash up the caravan and that's because of him but i think he was the last person to do
it thankfully yeah if the first person to do it had been doing that i think we would have had to
stop them because we only had one case,
which is typical not planning ahead, I suppose.
And again, from then on, we've always had two of the thing.
So yeah, a bit of serendipity that it was the last one.
But no one else tried to smash the case.
So yeah, we got away with it. That was my first thought.
Smash the case.
Smash the case open.
Quite a tough case to smash.
I like it when Noel shows a bit of aggression.
Yeah. Bit of determination. case smash the case open quite a tough case to smash i like it when noel shows a bit of aggression yeah a bit of uh determination and i like it when his aggression doesn't necessarily pay off because there's a moment where he jumps on the case in his lovely cuban heels and it makes no it makes
no difference whatsoever yeah and also i think a lot of taskmaster is permission to do things you
either haven't done since you were a kid or if if you do it, you're going to get in trouble with your partner,
or if you live alone, have to clear it up.
Yeah.
So he really enjoyed smashing something,
because smashing things is probably the best thing, isn't it?
God, it's great.
I smashed loads of stuff up.
It was wonderful.
It feels like sometimes when you're in Taskmaster,
it feels like a very sort of whimsical grand theft auto,
where you can just walk around doing whatever.
Well, the final task in this episode, the final final location task is a good example of that yes but we'll come
on to that won't we ed we'll get there we'll get there we'll get there so it was one point for
katherine two points for bob three points for rob four points for josh and five points for noel
fast i can just keep shouting guesses water rice-hm. Water, rice. Pasta.
Big block of something frozen. Ice cream, lollies.
Big block of ice, innit?
I don't know what's in it.
You can leave the room, obviously. Frozen peas.
LAUGHTER
Oh, hello.
Stopped, is it?
Well, I've stopped the clock, yeah Why?
It's a bit weird, isn't it?
Well, it's fastest to get the correct answer
It's frozen peas, isn't it?
Brilliant, thanks Rob
No worries
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the future.
This is my personal favourite.
This is quite iconic.
Yes. Make a mask that tastes delicious and looks great.
Your mask must be entirely edible.
We'll get onto that. And entirely
wearable. You have 10 minutes
to plan your mask and 20 minutes to make it.
You then must wear your mask so Alex can
taste it. Most delicious and great looking
mask wins.
Your time starts now. You're absolutely obsessed with putting yourself in situations where you have to eat potentially disgusting things, aren't you? I'm not. I'm not absolutely obsessed. I'm absolutely
obsessed genuinely with, um, I don't know if I've got the book there. I have.
It's my favourite book
it's the only book
I ever read
palindromes and anagrams
it's what I'll take
to my desert island
when I get invited
yeah
and so this task
we had for ages
because mask taster
is a little anagram
or spoonerism
of taskmaster
so that's what came first
rather than
being obsessed
with eating things
actually
so it was trying to
come up with a task involving tasting masks.
We obviously had a lot of emails about that.
Because that's obviously nothing that you say explicitly in the episode,
but I think people love spotting those little things.
Yeah, and we definitely assume that our audience are bright.
And so they don't need being spoon-fed.
There was a moment in that previous task where the 201 was written on the roof of the shed.
You know, when Noel was going out to look for a hammer.
And we don't need to mention it because the audience will like that and remember it.
Yeah, and that's only there for the audience as well, obviously.
Because no one's going to go,
I'll just check the roof of the shed to see.
That is all Andy Devonshire adding in extra detail
and it taking us hours
and the cameraman having to get this shot.
No one's ever going to need this shot.
And then we do and he's always right.
Yes.
But anyway, yeah, so tasting masks.
That was always going to happen at some point.
And it just is a nice combination of
our normal food ordering tasks and putting me in an awkward situation especially with Catherine
especially with Catherine I mean let's talk about Catherine first I think she was first up and uh
and it's a great she made a great mask incorporating the uh the watermelon on her
head with the sort of long the long lick
is it licorice stuff or strawberry laces hair she had yes was used a few I think
I think Rob used it as well it's a good tool is he used quite often in Taskmaster
the strawberry line yeah yeah it's good and these good it's good stuff and
material the fried egg penny sweets his eyes i mean obviously you feel uncomfortable
in any situation like that really don't you alex well also when she lay there like she looked like
you can imagine a model in cosmopolitan doing that as a photo shoot yeah she was so still as well
because she wasn't she wasn't laughing either when everyone else whenever you did it was laughing and
she was just like i'm just gonna fit because she didn't feel well she said so she just had to lie
completely still and she looked quite she didn't look quite annoyed yeah well also it looked like
either she was asleep or dead or something so i was creeping up to her like this horrible man
going to lick a sleeping model.
Oh, God.
Yeah, you're remembering it and feeling as uncomfortable now, which I love.
And I was quite uncomfortable with some of the others,
but not like that.
No, not like that.
It's different, isn't it?
It is different.
And I don't know there's a good way of doing it
if I just sort of marched up and gone in for a munch.
Yeah.
I think you have to tiptoe up. Yeah. yeah i think you have to tiptoe up um yeah yeah you
definitely have to tiptoe up um but obviously you didn't go you didn't go for you didn't go
for the lips but you mentioned them which made it worse well it also looked delicious all the food
yeah i had a job to do i had to taste the mask you had to taste the mask but i noticed what
what i did notice is you came in holding a spoon.
Did I not use the spoon?
You did not use the spoon.
Then you just went full mouth in.
I think, unfortunately, what also happens is I'm thinking,
I've got to taste the mask.
I'm also thinking, well, I've got to make the best possible telly.
Yes.
And it's not funny to use a spoon.
No.
And I do understand that my discomfort is funny.
You can't fake discomfort but you can
sort of milk it slightly i suppose yes well it's a bit of that that clearly very the uncomfortable
alex grabbed the spoon thinking just do you just get the spoon just use a spoon alex it'll be fine
and then obviously tv alex took over you're like it's not gonna look great come on yeah i think
probably i like to think that i asked permission as well before licking her face.
I think I probably said to her, I think, I don't know if it's on camera or not, saying, do you want me to use a spoon or a tongue?
Right.
So I'd made sure it was okay.
I imagine it wasn't great for her either, not being able to see me and then feeling this.
No, I don't think anyone was suggesting it was great for her.
You think people are out there going, well, it must be lovely for her though, Alex.
Well, I guess what I'm saying is I'm not the only victim here we're both victims yes sure um but it
was hers was good i really liked that and just yeah she wasn't entirely happy she's quite a
perfectionist catherine yeah i think she thought she could have done better but i thought it looked
great yeah i thought it looked really good and as we'll discuss it was fully edible fully edible
fully edible because it was direct it's directly
onto the face that was the key i think uh for the fully edible i think she had experience genuinely
of face masks and applied it well she knew what she was doing she knows how to put stuff on her
face yes um noel and rob both got two points let's talk about noel's first now he was quite
excited about the mask making he's the sort of guy i'd imagine has
taken a class or made made masks with some sort of community project um and he he went with it
was a bit of cardboard wasn't it covered in seeds and i think he was disappointed i think we were
all disappointed because he's the greatest artist we've had on the show i'd say or at least one of
them tarbuck tarbuck's one of the greatest artists, actually.
But anyway, Fielding can art.
Yes.
And he also was trying to mimic an artist,
Arquimboldo, Giuseppe Arquimboldo.
Okay, yeah.
So that's what he was trying to get Arquimboldo in there,
with his artistic training.
But it did end up looking like something my kids could have done, I think.
Yes, yeah. And the key point being it was not entirely edible no no it
was a real shame and it should have got one point do you think it shouldn't have got the same as
rob's because i i think rob rob sort of phoned his in quite heavily i'd say rob's leaned heavily
on the hat the uh the y Yorkshire pudding hat really did a
lot of work for him there I don't know I think I would have put Noel in last place but I think
I I obviously wouldn't have I would put everyone in first place for every task ever because
uh Noel looks potentially that he might have been hurt by somebody slagging off his artwork so um
yeah I think I've seen why Greg did it but I for for me did well to get two points yeah um let's talk about rob's because i think i feel like the
tortilla wrap is absolutely phoning it in when it comes to making an edible mask that's that's
basically you're basically halfway there already when you buy a tortilla wrap aren't you it's very
much uh the japanese flag of the exactly very rob beckett don't things do yes yeah
but it was effective but yeah i think it was about an impression of rob maybe yeah
but you can only sometimes do i can sometimes do henning vein okay um
oh where is my gun i mean anything is Henny Vane almost anything
is Henny Vane
but yes
he went with pancakes
and Yorkshire pudding hat
and tortilla face
yeah
and he claimed
it was a working man's face
but it wasn't really
because they don't have
tortillas or strawberry laces
it was a working man's lunch
I believe it was
working man's lunch
yeah
yeah
I liked it but i would
have put him in fourth place yes i think for fourth place was the place for him um so josh's
mask was very impressive i thought i didn't know what to expect from josh but i thought he did a
really good job he made it look like you alex and i guessed it was you before he even said it was
supposed to look like you which is a good sign there's a pancake with nutella banana eyes and the best bit was the long the long sort of sour sweet that he had
hanging out the mouth like a tongue every detail was accurate i have a long sugary sweet tongue
yeah um yeah i think it's an easy face to make out of food mine do you think yeah
nutella and pancake will do it but he did a really good job it was
imaginative it was creative and artistic and and funny yeah he nailed it really
that was it was sort of making the best of not much you know he doesn't have a
lot of talent Josh but is yeah art wise he's definitely one of the weaker ones,
but he manages to use his little brain.
It's good.
Yeah, he did.
And it's quite fun to eat.
That was the one I was least embarrassed about,
gobbling on my own face, I think.
Yeah, because I suppose you're always sort of
eating your own face in a way, aren't you?
Me specifically.
No, but everyone is always eating their own face
because they're always in their own mouth, technically.
Well, I don't want to argue with you on this,
but I completely disagree.
Why do you disagree?
I don't think everyone is always eating their own face.
In my mouth is not me.
Well, who is it then?
Your inside of your mouth is part of you.
You're in your own mouth.
Right, I will concede that in my mouth is me.
But I don't think I'm eating my own face all the time
but you're swallowing and stuff and like your tongue's in your mouth so you're always having
a little chew on your tongue right fine okay well i concede that i'm always licking
me yeah i'm always licking the inside of me but i'm very very licking the outside of me
but you've got a beard i bet you do have to now and again like do you have to
like suck things off your mustache and stuff i sometimes i see pictures of myself even an early
taskmaster i had quite a long beard and now i think yeah it's quite sort of reasonable now
and look it's more stubbly than anything it's nice and trimmed i like it yeah yeah thanks ed
yeah uh i suppose no you're probably right i I take it all back. You are always eating you.
Yeah, you're always eating me.
So let's come to Bob now,
because this is probably the most iconic moment
in the Champion of Champions episodes, I'd say.
I see that picture on Twitter or on social media
more than anything else from Bob, even.
I've got insider information on this,
so you introduce it, and then I can reveal something.
Great.
So it was a beautiful mask.
What's this?
His hair, sort of icing or white chocolate on the face.
Not quite sure.
Cream cheese, I think.
Was it cream cheese?
What I really liked about it.
Yeah.
What I really liked about it is how all the features sort of pushed down towards the end.
But then it sort of came to a peak at the end.
It's really small chin and then wide head. Really odd. Gen's so confident he was so confident going into it he was like i feel
sorry for everyone else i can tell you why he has made wigs out of whatsits many times before
honestly it's one of his things that he knows how to make wigs out of whatsits
so as soon as it came up he said well i've got this and he was really disappointed with how it
turned out he he he wasn't happy with it even though I can't see any faults with it.
He said, no, it's normally better than this.
It normally comes out better than this.
So he was a very experienced mask maker.
But he did use cling film.
Well, this is the thing.
His mask was not entirely edible.
And if you're going to mark Noel down for it,
you do have to mark Noel down for it,
you do have to mark Bob down for it.
But is it a case of now and again,
something so good that you can't bring up the downsides?
You can't bring up the downsides.
I think you're right.
I think this is why Taskmaster will never be the Olympics,
despite all our best efforts, because there are going to be inconsistencies.
And, you know, we brought up the downside of Joe Wilkinson
stepping on the red-green with his potato throw.
So it's not consistent.
We could have faulted him for it.
But I think maybe the logic is that in artistic tasks,
you can get away with more than in physical tasks,
where it's cut and dry rules.
And I think it was so good.
He might have docked a point off it, but it still should have won.
It was definitely the best mask.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was definitely the best mask.
It had the visceral sort of initial impression of it when you see it.
It was amazing.
I'd also say what you're looking at with his one,
what you're looking at is pure edible things are pure edible things whereas with noel you could see the cardboard yeah so
he could probably argue that the mask itself was edible but it was on a base of plastic mask i think
it feels like you should be able to take a mask fully off and then put it back on at a later date
which you couldn't do with say catherine's you'd have to scrape it all off so yeah what is mark what isn't it's all a bit semantics
but i think i don't have a problem with bob winning that i also was nervous first of all
i'm eating my hero's face um but because he pulled me in and kept saying that he'd sinned and that I could cure him, I really got into eating his mask.
There wasn't much discussion about the backstory of the character
in the studio.
I'd imagine there was in the night.
He'd clearly forgotten.
Oh, right.
He'd clearly forgotten ever doing it because it's just one of many times
he's done this.
Yeah, so he'd forgotten everything about it.
And I think it was – he didn't think it through, the words he was saying or the character he was being. Because he was being a Geord about it and I think it was he didn't think it through the words he was saying
or the character he was being because he was being a Geordie alien
I think yeah he was an alien yeah
but definitely a Geordie
because he started with YI
yeah it was very Bob
yeah he had no idea what he'd said because he kept saying to Greg
did he cure me
yeah there's different layers
of surrealness
between bob and noel i think because they're both noel is obviously a surreal comic with a
bush history whereas bob's quite he manages to sort of do run-of-the-mill surrealness
yeah sort of you can imagine uh someone working from the council doing that in their lunch hour
Someone working from the council doing that in their lunch hour.
Hi, Bob.
That's it.
Don't go for my nose, Pat.
Come on.
Oh, come on.
Oh, yes, I'm a sinner.
I have sinned.
Come on, eat me up.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, beautiful mate.
I'm more like you on your planet.
Ah, more.
Please.
I love me. How are you?
Oh, I've sinned again.
I've sinned again, man. Well, I've sinned again. I've sinned again, man.
Well, I've tasted your mask.
Hey, Alex, it was just me.
It was just me.
What do you reckon?
Sexy, yeah?
Task three, final.
Final filmed task.
Make the biggest mess and completely clean it up.
You have ten minutes.
Your time starts now.
So that's a good example of a task where I wrote it and immediately thought yep great and sent it to the andes and they went yep great
because it's different uh it's immediately different to any task we've had before there's
no props involved it's straightforward i think as soon as you read it out you want to see what
they're going to do yeah but also i think it's a good task tactic wise if you want to be a josh
and work out exactly how to do it you've got to think about the maths of when to stop making a mess when
to start tidying but if you want to be thinking your way around it there's other ways that
katherine demonstrates and then if you want to just be funny you do what bob did i mean what
bob did the massive mess and you it's just when you're going at what point did you realize that he was never going to clear it up because it's when you go you got two and a half minutes
left bob and he's still chugging stuff around yeah i think he was one of the last to do it so
by that stage we'd realized you've got to be clearing up for more time than making a mess
and so once we got halfway through the task and he's still nowhere near finishing his mess
i don't think it took me a long while to click that this was
deliberate i think he's doing all of this to be funny yeah i don't think but i don't know at what
point it clicked in his head that was his tactic because he went straight into it so i don't know
if he immediately thought nah i'm making a mess here i'm not clear yeah i loved it it's so good
and to end with to pretend to try and clean it up and then saying, not a very good hoover.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was brilliant.
It was absolutely brilliant.
And again, someone from the team had to then clear it up
and mend the shells.
And I do really, I think a shout out to those guys
because they don't get enough credit.
Oh, God, yeah.
And often during the pandemic, they can't even,
because normally one of the pleasures of the show
is that we can all watch in the back,
they can watch in the background of the tasks happening. But because of the pandemic, they can't even... Because normally one of the pleasures of the show is that we can all watch in the back... They can watch in the background of the tasks happening.
But because of the pandemic, everyone has to keep the distance
or have had to keep the distance.
So it's been some really thankless tasks for the crew at the moment.
Just clearing up something they didn't get to see.
Yeah, of course.
I remember feeling very guilty once, just once,
filming Series 9 when I did... It was something that didn't even make the
edit it was a task that didn't make the edit and I made caramel in the kitchen right um and ended
up like trying to make do sugar work and all of this and a lot of it went into the sink and then
I was obviously rushing to finish the task I'm not realizing make a seal a seal for the task yeah seal the task and all the caramel
went rock hard on the sink like impossible like solid toffee and then i remember going to the
dressing room and then just clearly hearing someone trying to chip toffee off the sink and
i was like oh god ed well a sneak preview for series 13 there's more saliva in one task than
we've ever had before and someone's job was to go up go in and scoop up
the saliva oh dear that felt like they could walk at this point and we'd all just go yeah
no you go that's yeah you're quite right please they could go to a union definitely yeah um
absolutely that's good well we'll all look forward to that series 13 sounds like it's
going to be a classic more saliva than they've ever had
before oh honestly you won't believe it the editors struggled with it as well just seeing it
i can't wait till you see that oh great um josh yeah like you say josh approaches it in such a
funny way it is the least messiest mess i've ever seen it's it's when
it's the shot of him smashing all the eggs in a little line he actually had quite a boring
episode in that he gave away his house keys he did some maths yes he made a mask of my face
but in quite a logical way and then he made a fairly small mess and cleared it up and that was his show
i love it and he's saying i'm panicking alex i'm panicking i don't know what i'm gonna do
i he cleans it lovely i i he doesn't do a lovely job with the cleaning of course he does it up lovely there's a nice edit touch which i've forgotten the little gleam little thing because
we just wanted to show he tried really hard the little little boy the little
boy nice little boy um noel and rob both got four points um let's talk about noel first uh
completely empties the caravan and then puts it all back yeah straightforward did the job
not classic noel no but nothing wrong with it and i think he was first to go so we just looked
and go yeah i suppose that's what we asked him to do yeah he's done it yeah rob was a bit more spectacular the shot of the flower going out
was brilliant yeah he enjoyed it i think that's what we wanted we wanted a bit more joy in making
a message you're free and then the immediate regret of that god it is so the logic logic in
robs which is what you needed for this,
you needed to think of something that you could make the most mess
for the longest time and then clean up instantly by obscuring it
or changing its state.
And I think that's what he did very well.
Yeah, we had some arguments, I think, about if we were scoring this,
did he clear it up or just sort of spread it around?
And there was a big mess on the floor with water at the end.
But is water mess or is water clean but so i think you're right he managed to talk his way around
that and uh i think it's great he's all cleaned up yeah yeah yeah um now okay we're gonna let's
talk about katherine this is i think one of the most shocking things i've ever seen on the show
yeah and i think i really like it when there's some uncomfortable viewing and also when there's stuff where people go god is this is this funny yeah this seems pretty bad yeah i mean i did
get this so she calls her she calls her sister and says that her husband's been cheating on her
yeah alan um and then calls her dad to say that her sister's pregnant and it's not Alan's.
Not Alan's.
Not Alan's.
What I really liked about it...
That's the mess she makes, yeah.
That's the mess.
But what I really like about it is in their voices,
you can absolutely tell they do not believe her whatsoever.
They're like, well, Catherine's clearly doing a TV show.
The dad definitely didn't believe her.
The sister, I think maybe, yeah, went along with it.
Alan, I'm less sure.
Because Alan found out about it from the sister.
Yes.
I mean, it was a mess.
Yeah, it was a big mess, I think.
But I think what was quite shocking was that we all had a glimpse
that maybe her life at home is a mess.
It's definitely very different to me phoning Hugh and Sheila
and saying that Chip's wife is having an affair.
I mean, you know, the idea of me doing that to my family.
Yeah.
It'd be all over.
Everything, oh, it'd be awful.
But this would not have,
it'd be chucking a pebble into the sea of her family life.
It was amazing and such an amazing Catherine Ryan thing to do.
And the fact that she was so calm about doing it is so funny.
Could it be argued that she did not clean up the mess fully yeah it could be argued that i mean the task needed it we needed somebody to do something different bob had already done
something slightly different uh it was such a big mess so what did she win did she win the task
she won the task but i think just for the sheer ballsiness of what she did i think greg was very
impressed by that but i would argue that she did, I think Greg was very impressed by that.
But I would argue that she did not clean up that mess because there's panic at the end
because she starts telling Alan that it was a joke
and then she finds out it's not even Alan.
Yeah.
And then she has to get Alan on the phone
and it's just chaos.
It still felt messy, didn't it?
It still felt messy at the end.
Also, a little uh details from the shoot
as you know we film under a flight path so every time a plane goes over neil the sound man or ariel
or shirley has to go uh just hold it for one second yeah and i think that happened during a
phone call where we saw we couldn't stop her talking because it's all real but we had to say
can you just can you just pad pad for a bit, Catherine?
And then say again that your sister's pregnant with somebody else's baby.
So there was real panic in the crew as she was doing it
because we were thinking,
there's a bit of social responsibility in the show.
Trying to make sure we didn't do something awful,
but also thinking this is great.
This is brilliant.
This is what we want.
And so different.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think that's why it deserves the five points possibly.
Yeah, I think so. I think so so it was the biggest mess by far yeah definitely
the biggest mess um now i think the lab is the key here i was surprised that nobody went in the lab
yeah yeah yeah i mean it's designed for that purpose isn't it it's designed for that purpose
it's covered in plastic you can make an absolute mess then you just scoop up all the plastic and
throw it away right you're You're completely right, Ed.
But that's a seasoned tasker speaking.
I know these guys are meant to be champions, but...
And I've seen it.
I've maybe saw it for the first time four or five years ago.
It's the only time I've thought of it.
Yeah, but no, why not go to the room that is designed for that purpose?
It's a very good point.
Because you could go in there with ketchup and just really make a bloodbath.
Really go for it. And that would be a lot of fun. And then literally go in there with ketchup and just really make a bloodbath.
Really go for it.
And that would be a lot of fun.
And then literally peel it off the walls and it's pristine.
Yeah.
No, you're right. You're right.
Good shout.
Good shout, Ed.
Jesus Christ.
Are Alan and your sister still together?
Well, my sister, like my dad, knew I was lying,
so she lied to me and
said she cheated on her husband, but of course she never would. They have a wonderful marriage.
Your commitment to entertainment is impressive. Yeah, and you know what? People shouldn't be
getting married anyway. Yeah, you're probably helping them out in the long run.
yeah you're probably helping them out in the long run uh now let's get the live task the final task of this champion champions competition record the highest number of steps on your pedometers
you may not touch your blindfold you have 100 seconds this is a horn this is a horn classic
yeah yeah yeah it is i think there's there's always a bit of decision-making with which studio tasks go in which episode.
As in, we have to decide before we film it, obviously.
But we're trying to balance it.
So this is a bit of a chaos physical task.
There's not a lot of thinking.
Because I think in the episode,
there's actually a reasonably thoughtful episode.
So they're making a mess.
There were some tactics.
The box was a very mental one.
And the mask was a creative
one. So we wanted a physical task to end it.
And this was just
everyone shake. Everyone shake for two minutes.
In different ways that they
thought would be the most helpful
to the pedometer situation.
They were blindfolded
because I guess we didn't want them
to see each other rather than see themselves.
I think now if we did that, because I try to ease off the blindfolds so they only appear once a series
because it's a slightly lazy way of going, I think.
You know, often a task is do a thing, but with this impediment.
And the blindfold is the most obvious impediment.
So now I think we've got some blinds that we can put up, dividers, so they can't see each other.
But then also, you don't really need that,
but I understand that it is annoying
when you're watching it
and someone comes up with a good tactic
and then everyone else just copies it.
Exactly.
I think the fact that they couldn't see each other
was helpful here
because there were some real...
There was some real differentiation in the tactics.
People were taking them off.
Bob, I'm very glad that Bob took his off his feet and just did his hands
because that task on the whole was just inviting another heart attack, wasn't it?
That's true.
I mean, we've had pedometers a few times across the years
and they pop up again in series 13
because I just think it's a really good basic task
of make this thing read the highest number
and I think it's a bit like popping bubble wrap which I refer to a lot the only way of doing it
really is by taking loads of steps that is I know people think shaking is good or there's a way of
cheating it but actually it's designed to measure steps yeah quite often shaking doesn't work so
you should just be really marching marching fast now, I'd imagine we've had emails about this, and we will,
that when you're describing the task at the beginning
or someone's reading the task out,
some of the pedometers read 900 and something
and some of them read zero.
Was that just an editing thing?
I can't remember.
All I can definitely tell you is the amount of detail that goes into the show
and the amount of painstaking looking.
So what will have happened is,
what definitely will have happened is that the results are fair.
So somewhere along the lines,
either they read different numbers at the beginning
or something slipped through an edit.
Yeah.
So there's probably a slight problem somewhere,
but I can promise that the overall scores weren't unfair.
But yeah, people do spot these things.
And it's always amazing that...
Well, I can see why people find it amazing
that no one in the edit spotted it,
because you've got all these pairs of eyes on it.
But there's so many things to look at.
But it might just be that it was from after they'd finished doing it
and it's the only shot they had. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The shot of Catherine, so they had to use it or whatever.
And probably we don't have the facilities to CGI zeros
onto a pedometer from that distance.
You do now.
Oh, we do now.
That's why you moved to Channel 4, right?
Yeah, yeah.
That was how they got you.
They promised we will be able to CGI the pedometer numbers.
Yeah, no, it's funny that.
And also what I would say is that
anytime there is a mistake spotted like that people are gutted yeah oh no we made a mistake
because we take we take it so seriously um so yeah i think probably human error involved there
but i don't think it cost anybody any points no absolutely, absolutely not. I like the Podobas thing
because it just shows the sort of commitment of people to it
and also people trying to think their way around it.
And there's very little way of doing that, as you say.
Yeah, it's mainly a mad scramble.
And that's funny.
I don't mind a mad scramble every couple of episodes.
Yes, absolutely.
So it was Catherine who got the points there.
I think she just went for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same with Josh. Rob, three think she just went for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same with Josh.
Rob, three points.
Two points for Bob and one point for Noel, which was surprising.
But I think he'd taken his off and put them on somewhere else
and it just meant that they weren't reading as well.
Yeah, and it does come down to technique.
If you've got the wrong angle, you've got to shake for a decent...
If you're just rattling them, you've got to rattle with a decent uh angle on your wrist yes um so final scores this episode bob uh with 13 points
in fifth place catherine with 15 points no with 16 points robert 17 points josh with 18 points
so close and overall scores i mean yeah so close with the top three um but bob comes in bottom with
24 way below everyone else.
But he deliberately threw quite a lot of tasks to be funny.
So you can't argue with that.
Noel with 32 points.
Catherine with 35 points.
Rob with 36 points.
And Josh with 37 points.
It's one point in it.
Yeah.
And that was definitely when the points come in.
So I get them on my iPadad and i don't know i'm
trying to think ahead who's going to win and you don't want to draw you don't want to draw too
often we will have done tie break so i think for that one we may have done a live tie break
but you want a clean winner so i was pretty relieved yeah absolutely and i think deserves
josh i like that he's our first winner he's the guy who got the tattoo he's the guy who counted the beans and he's the guy who won the worst karate trophy at the end of series
one because we didn't think we'd get recommissioned so it's a good story and he had to put that trophy
into the body of greg whereas the others all could have put the head of greg into the body
it would have looked too normal with the head i think you needed to see that shot of the karate
trophy going into the massive body yeah i really like that i think it's so funny yeah um we've got a few emails alex we'll just do a couple of emails before we let you
go okay this is about tie breaks actually uh hi ed and the taskmaster podcast team big fan of the
show in the podcast i have a question for the very tiny little alex horn my question is how do you decide which tie break tasks to use in the show are they selected before
the live show record starts uh before you know who will be in the tie break or if there will even be
one to keep it fair or are they chosen after the live task when you know who will be in the tie
break in order to keep uh in order to choose the best one for entertainment value. Yeah, as always...
That's Izzy from London, by the way.
Oh, hello, Izzy. I'm a big fan of you.
I'm also six foot two.
As always, there's not a huge amount of logic.
There's no service paid to who's going to win.
So what we do, we film, I reckon, five at the moment,
five tie breaks per series.
Ten would be sensible, but overdoing it.
So we do five, and we probably only use two or three
yeah i think maths wise it's about that and then we rank them in order of our favorites
to least favorites so if there's a tie break in episode one we will use our favorite one
because we don't want to have any leftover that we love but we can't use again and actually i'm
pushing to show a few more tie breaks in on YouTube. Because once we've shown a tie break,
we should really show what the other three people did as well for fun.
I think people would potentially be interested in that.
So we might put out a few old tie breaks.
But yeah, that's the system.
It's just which one's the best.
So if there happen to be five tie breaks in a series,
the last one will be the least good, unfortunately.
But also, we have potentially got things up our sleeve
that we can do in the room
because a lifetime break to break it up
sometimes could be quite good.
But I can't tell you what they are
in case there's future contestants listening.
Fair enough.
This is a question from Sam Weatherall in Middlesbrough.
Hello, wants to ask,
how often does Alex end up having to change his suits
on average when filming Taskmaster?
So what happens with the suit is either I wear the same one and I realise I've worn
it for like two weeks and I think, God, maybe I don't have sort of bad body odour.
Maybe I'm all right.
Yeah.
Or it's three in a day.
It's weird.
There's no planning to it.
Last week we did one involving a lot of paint
and me. I didn't get any on me at all.
So, yeah,
there's no real pattern. Quite often
I have to get through a couple in a day.
They're all from Marks and Spencers.
They're very, very, very, very cheap.
I've only had two destroyed,
I think. But they are sometimes used
by contestants to put on a mannequin or to do something with.
So we get through a few, but a reasonable amount.
You know, I really wear them.
I get a full use out of them
because they're sort of funeral suits.
So normally suits that you'd only hopefully use
once every couple of years.
So I wear them more than they're designed to be worn.
Do you think the people at Marks & Spencers
started to suspect some stuff about you
because you buy so many funeral suits?
I have worn them to a funeral.
I wear them to funerals, tasks and award ceremonies
because I haven't got a dinner jacket or a dark suit.
So yeah, they do cover...
It feels like you've been nominated for so many awards
you should buy yourself an awards suit.
I don't want to buy myself an awards... Treat yourself? I think that'll be the worst day when i buy myself an awards suit
all right well a smart suit a smart suit for i bought a smart suit for your wedding ed
yes you did actually it's very nice yeah you don't you you don't traditionally wear a dark
suit unless you absolutely have to do you that's the thing so your wedding yeah mine was a really
nice sort of bright suit for your wedding which i wouldn't wear to an award ceremony or a funeral.
No.
Thank you.
Let alone to a task administration session.
No.
One more question for you, Alex.
Oh, the dog's getting involved.
Look, the dog's got involved.
Oh.
You never get involved.
Nice dog.
Quite nice. Mr. Gamble, i have a question for alex once a task is formulated is it tested do they actively try to find and or close loopholes i'd imagine some loopholes are
discovered but left open for some more of the ingenious contestants to find thanks
that's danielle from madison wisconsin usa Danielle, how are you doing?
Where's my gun?
That'll make her feel more at home.
Yeah.
It's a very technical question, isn't it?
Yes.
We do it all on vibes, all on instincts.
We do test them more than we used to,
partly because we try to be efficient with our filming i suppose so it
makes sense to do some testing but it's i always think it's useful up to a point because we don't
test them with five comedians yeah so as soon as you get five comedians in there doing it in
different ways they will find loopholes we weren't expecting uh we do try to close off loopholes
sometimes that's a very good point so we now have to say you may not move the line.
If we say you stand behind the line, you may not move the line.
But also we try to make sure they're not all closed off,
partly because it would be so dull if they had to read out all these instructions.
But we want people to find loopholes.
So, yeah, the answer is we test to a certain degree.
We try to think ahead, but we don't try to rein people in too much.
Yeah.
I'd also say
that only really pertains
to the physical tasks.
So if it's something creative,
hopefully we can just have a...
I love it when it's a three-line task.
Do this,
you have 20 minutes,
your time starts now.
That's my dream.
So, and yeah,
hopefully that's more often than not the case.
Yes.
Finished.
Yes, all done. Sentences all done.
Alex, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast.
We'll of course, we'll get you back on at some point,
hopefully for series 13.
I'd love to do that.
So Alex, of course we always get five thank you
bye
thank you very much Alex for coming on the
show that's all we have time for
this week thank you for all of your emails
of course more emails please
we are starting to talk about Series 6 next week.
The first episode is already recorded.
It's with Tim Vine.
We have many more brilliant guests coming up for that series.
So get your emails in.
Taskmasterpodcast.gmail.com.
Any questions you have about Series 6.
And as ever, any general Taskmaster questions that me and my future guests will help you answer.
Always be watching Taskmaster. It's
available on all four. Watch along with us. It's a great thing to do. Thank you very much for
listening. We'll see you again next week. Goodbye! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!
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