Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 79. Ardal O'Hanlon - S13 Ep.4
Episode Date: May 5, 2022On this week's podcast Ed is joined by actor, comedian and current contestant Ardal O'Hanlon. The pair have a lovely chat about all things Taskmaster and in particular Episode 4 of Series 13. Find ou...t how Ardal felt after the shoe task, what he thinks makes a good stag night, and why night vision goggles are so brilliant. Watch Series 13 of Taskmaster every Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4.Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's Ed Gamble here. I am your host, of course, for the Taskmaster podcast.
We chat about episodes of Taskmaster. We break them down task by task, say what we would have scored them, what we might have done. It's me and a special guest every single week, and today we'll be talking about Series 13, Episode 4,
the current series, which is on Channel 4,
every Thursday at 9pm,
and I will be joined by the wonderful Ardal O'Hanlon,
or, as he's known on the podcast, Ardlo Hanlon.
The wonderful Lou Sanders named him Ardlo, let's not forget,
and also she didn't know Laika was a real dog
never forget that
Ardell is of course on series 13
he is absolutely brilliant
we are loving Ardell on series 13
as we're loving everyone on series 13
he's taken up a particular role of chipping in
and passive aggressively
needling away at the other contestants
confidence and efforts
and we enjoy
that very much i cannot wait to speak to ardle uh he's absolutely incredible what an incredible
career he's had behind him and continues to have with taskmaster cannot wait to speak to ardle
make sure you're doing all the taskmaster things watching the show channel 4 9 p.m
make sure you're reading the books you're going to the taskmaster store
you're buying the merch you're doing all of that stuff get involved make sure you're listening to
the other taskmaster podcast taskmaster the people's podcast hosted by the aforementioned
luce anders and jack burnhout the stats geek uh go and have a little listen to that as well
fill your life with taskmaster but for now let, let's chat Series 13, Episode 4 with Ardlo Hanlon.
Welcome, Ardl, to the Taskmaster podcast.
Hooray, it's so nice to be here.
It's an absolute pleasure to have you here. You, of course, are one of the stars of Series 13
of Taskmaster.
Yes, I'm definitely in it.
Vaguely remember some of the tasks are you rejecting
the star the star moniker there the star moniker yes i think that's overstating the case i was a
participant i was a willing naive participant in task master series 13 and a very happy participant
from what i can work out it seems like you you had a good time on the series i know i actually just you know watched a few episodes and i mean i just have this rictus grin
on me the whole time it's really embarrassing because i'm normally a very even-tempered human
being i don't get overexcited i don't get too despondent either but like i just come around
with this gormless grin all the time but it but it was i
was genuinely happy there's a wonderful there's actually a wonderful moment i think in i guess
it's in episode one actually where you're trying to hide you're trying to find the ducks uh in in
the lab uh and you just keep walking in holding chickens uh and you just look so content with
walking out the room and walking back and holding a chicken it's
it's quite beautiful to see yeah yeah i'm glad you brought up that particular task because i
think that was probably the one that i i failed most miserably um but that's okay ed that's fine
we'll get over that um but yeah no i was but like, I was genuinely happy doing what Alex tells me to do. I like Alex, you know, and he's got this sort of hypnotist kind of quality.
Like he sort of, you feel very safe in his presence or something ridiculous, you know,
and you kind of fall under his spell a little bit.
So you just kind of go, okay, Alex, whatever you want me to do, I'll go and do it.
And, you know, like, obviously I wake up in a sweat whatever you want me to do i go and do it and um you know like obviously i wake up
in a sweat you know having nightmares at the end of every day but at the time it feels
fine i wonder if that because i i sort of feel like that about alex as well a hypnotist is a
really good way of putting it but some people don't react well to that i mean judy in particular
during the series does not she does not fall fall under Alex's spell at any point.
No, she had issues with Alex, yeah.
And with Greg.
And with everyone.
No, she's great.
But then all Judy has to do is flutter her eyelashes
and Greg just, you know, collapsed into a big pile of jelly.
Oh, I think, yeah, I think out of all the contestants
that have ever been on Taskmaster ever,
I think she has Greg under control the most.
She can just absolutely reduce him to rubble with her bullshit.
He was genuinely afraid of her.
I mean, like, he's quite an intimidating man.
I mean, you know, just his presence alone.
Yeah.
And obviously with his moniker and his throne and everything,
you know,'re we're
we all cower in his presence but he was genuinely afraid of judy but i think you arrived even before
you filmed the tasks you had it in your mind that you were going to try and you were going to try
and win greg over by sort of kowtowing to him because you're the you're the one who references
the taskmaster uh a lot and even in this episode you say will this please
taskmaster um you're regularly yeah referring to him as tm you're very much on board with the
with the subservient role really um that doesn't sound like me uh yeah it's quite i mean okay look
i'm not i'm not a good strategist okay that is not my area um you
know long-term strategies or anything like that i actually hadn't seen a huge amount of taskmaster
in the past so i don't know what other people did or how they went about invading themselves into
his like love but um you know i i mean obviously he know, he's so, he's such a weak man and he's so like, he's so needy that you sort of feel you have to do something along those lines.
So you're talking a big game now, but on the series, there was none of that.
You would never have said that for fear of losing points.
No, I wouldn't.
You're right.
You're right.
But I wasn't as like, I think the others were more obsequious than I was.
I mean, I was slightly taking the piss, but i think the others were more obsequious than i was i mean i was
slightly taking the piss but i i think the others genuinely were craving this is what i really love
about you as well ardo and i did not have you down as this sort of contestant from episode one
you were laying into other people's efforts before before yours got a chance to be dissected
yeah i know whatever it takes ed um and you know the
thing about it is it was hard for me to do that because i quite like the other people um and over
over the course of the 10 episodes i grew to really love them but having said that it is a
competition and one must use whatever you have in your in your armory whatever you have at your disposal but
also i was right all the time like i mean i was pointing out the obvious yeah i mean sometimes
you're right i'd say that do you think it's a good technique though when you know in the back
of your mind that your effort was not great when they haven't got to your effort yet to lay into
everyone else's do you not think that builds up anticipation and expectation
for what you're about to present?
Yeah, I guess.
But I didn't really think that far ahead, to be honest with you.
So, yeah, I realise that now, in hindsight,
that my tactics weren't, you know, impeccable.
But you know, as well as anyone, that that in this show you're totally living in the moment
and you're just you're just lurching from moment to moment and you gotta go with your first instinct
and your first response totally so you don't really have time to work stuff out also i was
like there were two competitors um sophie juker and chris ramsey who are youngish people and they've got young people's brains
that are very
functioning and agile
and so I
I had to
I had to you know use
other methods. Use your older brain?
Well I had to use
something other than my brain
I think something other than my brain.
Did you know many of your other competitors before you started filming?
No, I didn't really.
I mean, I knew Chris vaguely from the comedy circuit,
from doing festivals and things with him,
but not very many, and certainly not in recent years.
I mean, I was a fan of Bridget's,
but I didn't really know her.
Like I might've met her once or twice over the years.
Judy, I'd seen recently
because she's on telly all the time.
So I couldn't avoid her and really liked her.
And Sophie, I wasn't really,
she wasn't really on my radar, but I love Sophie.
I think she's brilliant and she's really clever and um it was yeah but we were a really
good team yeah we absolutely clicked that was such an odd odd thing like we uh we all got on
well instantly so it was very hard to be competitive yeah no but you managed it well done
and you you and chris particularly as a team, I think clicked so well.
You both have sort of similar excitable energies, but in a very different sphere, which was really nice to see.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, he's got the energy, which is great in bagfuls.
And he's also got the kind of the logic.
I mean, he comes at things from a more, you know, he sees the problem. I think think he's a genuine problem solver i'd say he's pretty good around the house and things like that
yes yeah i would say whereas i'm not whereas i think my approach is slightly more laid back and
maybe i don't know um i don't know what i bring to it actually now that i think about it but um
i mean i realized early on like i'm i'm quite competitive about things that I'm with things that I'm like reasonably good at, you know.
So I like sport.
Yeah.
I like football and tennis and I want to win.
If I'm playing any game like that or even Scrabble or, you know, something that I fancy myself at, I will fight to the death.
But all of these tasks, I realized very early on, I'm no good at any of these things so i kind of
i kind of like so that takes the pressure off strangely yeah i can you know the pressure is
very i'd say the pressure is off in most of your tasks yeah you take your time with it you're just
there to sort of enjoy it yeah yeah and find their find the fun in it like but actually you're right
what is the funniest way of doing this task rather than the best way of winning this task when it came to the first team task of the score the goals
in the buggies you did sort of come alive in a different way um i think one of my favorite
moments of the series so far is you on the helmet cam making your own car noises when you weren't
even in the buggy just going vroom vroom when you're running along i didn't realize that
that was wonderful
so you say you hadn't you hadn't seen a lot of taskmaster before appearing on the show did you
did you watch some after your book for it to do a little bit of revision
or were you just sort of aware of it as a concept?
I was always aware of the show and always loved it
because I'm a huge fan of Greg and Alex over the years
and I think their double act is just sensational, actually.
I hope they don't hear that.
I would not like them to think that I said that.
But always a
big fan of theirs and you know i i you know i know an awful lot of people who are on it and everyone
raves about their time on the show so uh but i'm not a huge television watcher i watch sport or
movies like that's what i watch generally speaking so you know i wouldn't have seen a whole series or
even a whole episode probably at the one time but i always loved what i did see of it but yes when i
was asked to do it i did start kind of dipping in a little bit more and you know checking it out
from time to time but I actually I actually felt that it was probably better not to be over familiar
with it because then you'd start you know you'd start trying to second guess yeah Alex and uh and
the taskmaster himself and you know I probably would have even failed more miserably than I did.
Well you didn't fail too miserably in this episode you had your ups and downs in the episode but
it's actually a pretty strong one overall for you I'd say and we'll start with the
prize task which was the best night time thing a very strong category for a prize task i think uh and some of the uh
prizes that people brought in not a strong reaction to that they were appalling they were
appalling i mean what were they thinking judy love i think brought in a quilt yeah i mean come on or
duvet yeah like what the hell like you know you know you know she's very good generally at thinking
outside the box but what was she like how was she hoping to impress the taskmaster with that well she's done this a few
times already where she's absolutely phoned it in when she's been asked what she's bringing in
and just knows that she can try and do the work in the studio that she can try and bullshit her
way out of it i mean particular highlights for me here were, if it's warm, you can put your foot out of it. And you can play ghosts, but you'd be a big fat ghost.
I know, she is just a blagger, isn't she, really,
at the end of the day.
And Chris Ramsey bringing in a bed, I mean, similarly.
You know, like they deserved everything they got.
But he's, I feel like his handle on his bullshit
is he's got more of a filter than
judy so he finds it more difficult to unlock that she can just let it go and she's just
yeah ranting and raving yeah chris is more precise so it was a bit it was route one but
he doesn't quite have the bullshit power of judy that's true but he does have the logic and like
naturally enough i mean and this my comm as news to your listeners but the show
is edited so yes chris would have had a very good logical explanation for why he brought in the bed
but he didn't get the chance because i think i managed to sabotage him on that occasion uh um
which was good well i i think i think the prize tasks always the first thing you've got to think of is
essentially the first thing you're going to say.
So Judy saying a duvet and Chris saying a bed
is not particularly inspiring.
But you saying night vision goggles
bang, straight away.
People are laughing.
It's quite an evocative thing.
And then to see the actual night vision goggles
you brought in which don't look like
night vision goggles at all.
No, they do work. They weren't quite the night vision goggles I brought in which don't look like night vision goggles at all no they do work they weren't quite the night vision goggles i hadn't mined myself like
i was more sort of you know the serial killer type of ones um but uh uh they were they were
they were good and they are good i still use them um like the other the other sophie and bridget brought in animals various like you know an owl
hot water bottle i think sophie brought in yeah bridget brought in a stuffed fox i mean you know
again like they're just you know they're they're they're like yes imaginative okay i'll give them
that but really you're talking about the best nighttime thing like i mean you you know think
about it night Night vision goggles.
Who could not use them?
Like, is there a single person in the world who would not find multiple uses for them?
Like when you're padding around the house in the middle of the night and you don't want to disturb the dog or anyone.
You want to watch other people sleeping.
There we go. Like night vision goggles, for me, it evokes like, you you know nighttime operations in the sas or sneaking
around at night all of your reasoning seems to be if you wake up in the middle of the night and you
want to go for a little wander or you need to go to the toilet i'm not a good sleeper i'm genuinely
not a good sleeper and i'm such a nice person i don't want to disturb anyone else but i also
disturbed me more than anything arnold if i woke up and i knew there was someone in the house
wearing night vision goggles i wouldn't be able to sleep.
Okay.
I see your point.
But I'm also using it as a sort of, you know, like if, let's say for the sake of argument,
there was an intruder.
Yeah.
I would have a slight advantage over them because an intruder is not going to turn on
the light.
So they're going to be kind of fumbling around in the dark, trying to do whatever they want
to do.
And then I've got my night vision goggles so i can watch them
and i can watch them yeah or or you know or the other thing is you probably know people
as i do who moved to the country during the whole pandemic yeah and you know they thought it was a
great idea at the time and it did seem like quite a good idea at the time yeah but now like obviously
now that everything's open up they're stuck there poor fuckers you know they're like with nothing to
do and and waking up every morning with like local pranksters wearing night vision goggles at the end
of the bed you know hilarious like but that's rural humor you know so it is classic rural humor
i think it was an easy win for you there, Adel.
I think that was definitely the coolest thing.
I mean, Sophie, I think maybe had Greg's attention with owl,
but then revealed that it wasn't a real owl.
I think maybe it should have been, you know,
a trip to an owl sanctuary or something
should have been the actual problem.
Yeah, something like that.
I mean, you know, actually, you're absolutely right there, Ed.
You know, owls are brilliant they are they're a brilliant nighttime creature with their big their big baggy
eyes and everything and their ability to yes like lots of abilities yeah no they're wonderful and i
think maybe an opportunity to meet an owl might have been a better price than the owl hot water
bottle if she brought in an owl,
that would be,
that would be amazing.
Yeah.
And the same with Bridget's fox,
you know,
the beauty,
the beauty of the fox is the nighttime creature I feel is somewhat diminished
by it being dead and stuffed.
Yeah.
And,
and even if it was live,
like that would not have been a good idea.
I live in a,
in the suburbs,
you know,
where we have a genuine fox problem.
So,
and anyone, you know, who like who like okay foxes on tv they're kind of cute in in movie history foxes are you know acceptable but in real life they're not they're horrible and yeah like
the main my main problem with the fox is that one of my dogs has a real habit of rolling in the fox
shit right literally every day yeah which is ruining my life
you know because i quite like the dog but you know it's um it literally has is ruining ruining my
life yeah i mean i think i think you referred to foxes as skulking around in the night like
a jazz drummer looking for heroin um which was wonderful but bridget seemed genuinely defensive
of foxes because i'm the same as you i I don't like foxes. I live in London.
Then they're an urban animal at night.
And they screech when they have sex below my window.
So they're awful things.
I mean, how could they?
And yet Bridget was trying to defend them.
I mean, it's preposterous.
And I'm glad that Greg for once saw through her wiles.
Well, sort of did.
But she still got four points.
I mean, you did the best with the night vision goggles,
which, you know, it means at least if the foxes are having sex,
you can watch them.
But Bridget got four points for the foxes.
Then it was three points for the owl, two points for the bed,
and one point for Judy Love's multi-purpose duvet,
which you can take downstairs.
I feel like that was fair, don't you,'t you points wise i feel it was fair overall i think bridget always got a little bump because greg
felt sorry for her 50 points yeah i think she played that card really well, like, oh, look at me, poor me, pity me.
And Greg fell for that every time, yeah.
Chris.
A bed.
A bed. He's brought a bed in.
Oh, Chris.
I mean, honestly, that is so basic.
All right, shall we list things you can do on a bed?
Yeah.
Every single thing you said, plus it's a trampoline.
Any special features?
Memory form mattress.
That's the mattress though.
They don't work. I got one of them.
It doesn't remember me.
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Let's talk about the first task. Display the shoe Alex is thinking of.
All the other shoes must be out of sight at the end of your attempt.
You may only ask yes or no questions fewest questions wins now let's talk about your
efforts straight away arthur because you got yourself in a real in a real knot here i got i
got in such a mess and you know what if you ask me a million times i still cannot figure out
what i did so wrong i i know i mean i know i got it very badly wrong very early on yes
so i asked a question
the question was a stupid question yeah it was a stupid question because i think at this point
you were thinking what's the funniest way to do the task so you asked would you wear this shoe
to a funeral yeah alex said i wouldn't wear this my shoe to a funeral so that's the shoe you were
looking for was one that alex wouldn't wear to a funeral but you started throwing out all the shoes that alex wouldn't wear to a funeral and even now you look
utterly baffled i know i still i like literally i've thought about this every day since we we
recorded that show months ago and literally i've thought about that every day what what what's that
what what like alex alex definitely bamboozled me and so in the way he answered the question
there were double negatives in there, I'm pretty sure.
You said, would you wear your shoe to a funeral?
So the shoe that you were trying to find,
you said, would you wear this to a funeral?
And Alex said, no.
So no, he wouldn't wear it to a funeral.
So that's the shoe you're looking for.
But you started throwing out all the shoes
that you thought Alex wouldn't wear to a funeral.
Is that not the right thing to do?
No.
No, because you needed one of those shoes.
I honestly still can't figure it out.
I still literally can't.
I mean, I absolutely had a brain freeze at that point.
Yeah, and it's not thawed yet.
It's never, like, I am stuck in that moment forever.
But that is, I mean, great comments
on the absolutely tragic image of you sat on a cage
looking at a big pile of shoes,
almost just willing one to start hovering in the air
and present itself to you.
Yeah, but miraculously.
It did.
It did.
Unbelievably.
Like I had, I mean, is that snatching,
not victory quite from the jaws of defeat,
but it's, you know, not far off. It's snatching two points from the jaws of defeat, but it's, you know, not far off.
It's snatching two points from the jaws of one.
I can't believe that someone did worse than me.
Well, I mean, that was Bridget.
It was quite phenomenal, her effort,
because Bridget, I think, really wants to win,
but also is a genuinely unique and odd person.
So the way she goes about things sometimes are bananas.
And she's quite
stubborn so she was angry with alex for the whole task i think yeah so just kept asking
just kept asking is it this one is it this one is it this one and she asked 161 questions wow
and you only asked 40 adil so yeah it was amazing i was literally you know i i kind of i did definitely go in with the wrong
um what you know with the wrong uh uh frame of reference or attitude or whatever like i
genuinely thought i'd be able to read alex's mind yeah you were trying to you were trying to ask no
questions initially that was yeah i was literally trying to kind of go could i tell just by looking
at him what sort of issue shoe he would have picked?
Yeah, and there's always that worry with Taskmaster that there's another way of finding out
that it's written down somewhere,
that it's on the bottom of the shoe.
I would have been checking the bottom of all the shoes
to try and work it out.
I don't think there was that little,
there wasn't that trick this time.
Yeah, and I'm, well, yeah.
And you know what?
And I think that's because I didn't see
that much Taskmaster over the years.
Like I wasn't very good at the lateral thinking at all like you know and and your brain naturally thinks there is a right answer for
everything yeah so you think if only I could get the right answer you know and it's logical but it
doesn't it's not necessarily going to be logical and there's not necessarily one right answer
but on this occasion there was one right answer um and you looked
absolutely gobsmacked when you presented that white shoe initially and went is it this one and
i said no and you looked so graceful because you had such a huge pile of shoes yeah um and everyone
obviously had to say a different thing after every answer they received uh and i think everyone had
to be reminded pretty much apart from chris yeah. Who loved saying, no, we're.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, that was tailor made for him.
I can't remember what my one was.
It was, I must find the shoe.
I have to find the shoe or something.
And which was fine once you get into the rhythm of it.
But again, like that's like Alex, like he does come across as a nice guy, but he is, he is quite devious.
You know, like that extra layer upsets your rhythm,
upsets your concentration.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, he always has an extra little layer
to every little task.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
He's a horrible man.
Chris is no way is in the title sequence
of the show as well.
And the first time I saw the titles,
I assumed it was just something
Chris was saying naturally
because that's such a Chris thing.
Not weird.
Yeah.
So excited.
He was very impressive
in this task, actually,
as he has been
for a lot of the tasks so far.
Yeah.
He worked out the best system,
which I definitely
wouldn't have worked out
and no one else really did,
of dividing it.
Yeah.
Of saying,
is it on this side of the room?
Is it on this side of the room?
I know.
And then you just narrow it down
it's great
it's awful isn't it
and when you're in the studio
this is the first time
you see
anyone else doing the task
yeah
and we
we absolutely are forbidden
and we wouldn't want to
discuss the tasks
we did with any of the other
contestants at any stage
so this is literally
the first time
we see what they did
and I mean
you just feel like
such a fool
when you see what could have been done
and it all seems so obvious
after the event, oh it's awful
Judy nails
her little thing after every answer
she's got to laugh with disbelief after every answer
it's perfect, again
it feels tailor made to her
and of course she
suggests the game should be called shoe who
she does brilliantly as well in this she gets she does it in 20 or 24 questions depending on
depending on what you want to believe yeah and gets to four points sophie must she had to get
increasingly exasperated after every answer and i don't think by the end that that was put on i
think she hated doing this it's like she was trapped in a nightmare well you know it was one of the harder tasks yeah it was a really i remember it
was a really hot day we were in that little tin church um uh and it was uh you know it was it was
a bit overwhelming it was definitely one of the longest tasks i mean you know you know you you
see that the edited highlights,
but I mean, I think I was in there for maybe two hours.
Oh God.
Yeah, because they don't mention the times, of course, do they?
It's not a timed task.
That's amazing.
It's also, I found the day where you go somewhere else
to do the tasks quite odd because you,
I don't know when it came within the filming for you,
but I think it was my last day of solo tasks was was the off off house one and you get quite used to the taskmaster
house and it feels like quite warming and quite welcoming and then you go somewhere else and you're
thrown again yeah yeah again it's kind of like that's the sort of casual cruelty of alex isn't
it you know where where you're just getting comfortable with your environment you're you're thrown out again into you know some other hostile environment yeah and
I think that was my second or third day actually so I hadn't even I hadn't even got me feet under
the table in the taskmaster house when I was sent out there um on location very frustrating I mean
Bridget has the worst day I think I think there's some coming up as well
where she might struggle in those location tasks
and genuinely annoys Alex in this task as well,
which is something that has not been seen before on Taskmaster.
He looks absolutely exasperated with her,
which is amazing.
It serves him right.
So it was one point for Bridget,
two points for you, Adil,
three points for Sophie,
four points for Judy
and five points for you, Ardal, three points for Sophie, four points for Judy and five points for Chris.
APPLAUSE
Bridget, you and I have sort of known each other on and off
for a few years now. Yeah.
And it's only after watching that VT for the first time
did I question your intelligence.
I was cursed by something in the church.
LAUGHTER
There had been deconsecration of the church,
but it does make some sense, because you did say
quite a lot more questions than there were shoes.
Wow!
How many questions did she ask?
161 questions.
No!
That's quite something.
I'll tell you something else, it's the first time in 13 series
that I've seen Alex Horne genuinely irritated.
LAUGHTER Let's have a look at Alex Horne genuinely irritated. LAUGHTER
Let's have a look at Alex Horne genuinely annoyed.
It's not those, is it?
Well, he still asks the question.
What? No.
LAUGHTER
Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like seeing that.
Please, can I say something about that? Yeah.
I could see how annoyed he was was and that wasn't very supportive.
Task two, give Alex the best stag minute.
By the end of the stag minute,
Alex must be ready to get married.
You have 29 minutes to get ready for the stag minutes.
Your time starts now.
Did you enjoy doing this one, Adil?
Yeah, we did really.
Now, I have to take my hat off to chris for this
one because chris i think has been to about a hundred stag parties in the last few years he's
at that age where he spends most of his spare time going to stag parties so i think he was pretty
honest from the start um it's a long time since i was at one actually uh um but yeah really really
enjoyed it because you know we were like you really are
against the clock you have to pack an awful lot into that one minute so uh it was yeah it was
really good fun i mean you know we we kind of went we did go route one with this one i think
well you had some classic elements of a stag do because you had the you had the beer you had the
mini curry well i thought that was beautiful beautifully presented the little mini curry thing uh and then the masks obviously some things i would say were not what i
would call route one milk boiling well i mean i mean when you think about like okay so it's a bit
like modern british cuisine or something you know you you kind of you kind of get the you know the
the off cuts and you you do something contemporary with it.
So that's where we're going.
So I guess the milk balling is sort of based on those kind of activities that people do on their stag do.
So paintballing is kind of an obvious reference point for milk balling.
But those kind of things are...
Yeah, that's still a thing.
It's quite odd.
The milk balling was quite odd, I'd say.
Because if you wanted to do paintballing, I reckon you could have found some paint in the house even but you just went
straight in for milk balling i loved it yeah i mean again you know because we you know we want
to we want to give a little bit of a twist um but you know based on a solid platform yeah well here's
my second question arnold and i'm hoping you can answer this when you handcuffed Alex to the lamppost or the lamp which I thought was a good twist on it
why did you brush his teeth well um
that's just the way it was going
um no I I well first of all like if I remember correctly the task you know i think we we took
the task very literally you know we really did want to please like the task master himself on
this occasion and i think it said to make sure he was ready to get married interesting and i think
that would be a pretty important part of the grooming process so we so we added a little bit of grooming into the
ah very good yeah this is this is judy love levels of bullshit here um in but here's what i find
interesting because i thought that as well i thought it says he needs to be ready for his
wedding and he i don't think he was ready for his wedding in either of them necessarily
because you've definitely not in the girls one yeah definitely not in the girls one
you have brushed his teeth but you have left not in the girls' one. Yeah, definitely not in the girls' one. You have brushed his teeth,
but you have left him tied to a lamppost as well.
Yeah.
So he is still attached to a lamppost,
but you've brushed his teeth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah, true.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, like, there's no getting away from that.
We did.
But I think he was good and ready.
Like, he had the stag experience.
Yeah.
And he was, you know, when he got out of that, of the handcuffs,
he would have been ready.
Yeah.
Okay, good.
I'll take it.
Well, you got the five points.
You already got the five points on the show. It's fine bridget you know you didn't even mention the parachuting oh sorry
i didn't mention the pat the parachuting with the with the umbrella the sort of mary poppins
in it off a little platform yeah it was a lovely way to kick off i mean and the greg davis face
and the greg davis face mask you know so much so much in a minute and i think alex genuinely
enjoyed it from the look of it he looked yeah He did look like he'd been through something.
You know, I never got to have a stag do because of COVID stuff.
And, you know, if I ever have one in the future,
I know I can pack it all into a minute.
I just need to get some milk and a toothbrush.
Yeah.
Bridget, Judy and Sophie's was, I mean...
Appalling.
I don't think it was appalling.
I think it was interesting.
I think it was like some sort of art installation.
It was an avant-garde.
Very avant-garde.
Stag do.
And it was sort of an exercise in humiliation
more than anything, I'd say.
There was no enjoyment for Alex there.
He just got dressed up as a bird and then fed worms.
And Judy just doing her own thing completely,
from what I could work out
being a cat yeah it was brilliant i mean to be honest with you it was brilliant in its conception
and it like as a standalone piece absolutely no argument from me but it was traumatic for alex i
could see that yeah yeah he was having everything through bird seed thrown at him judy just shots
and throwing what really interested me is like at the very
beginning I think it was Bridget who suggested like um what she suggested that uh you're you're
you love you you love birds yeah so therefore we will treat you like a bird was that wasn't
am I wrong about that yeah no she did. And the other two just accepted that, thinking, oh yeah, that sounds really plot.
Like, yeah, I think that Bridget
might have been talking about the fact
that Alex wrote a book called Birdspotting.
Oh, okay.
But I think she only realized that.
And then as Alex says in the studio,
it's my father who loves birds.
So I think it's about his dad liking birdspotting
more than anything else.
But Bridget just ran with that information oh i see but even the fact the fact that she knew that that just shows how crafty she is that she had done research yeah a bit of research
before going on taskmaster they ran with it too much to be honest because then they put him in a
net and then judy's twerking dressed as a cat it was it was a lot it was a lot it was a lot um i'd like to see it developed into a full length show
i think it would be something at the fringe where you they only sell one ticket and you're always
the bird and it's just an hour yeah yeah but the guardian gives it five stars all the same oh yeah
of course of course it's five stars but it was only four points. Four points for that one and then five points
for your slightly more
straight down the line
stag do
with milk balling
and teeth brushing
and small carries.
If I didn't know
it was a stag do,
I would think it was
some awful
captured video
from Guantanamo Bay.
We were at bath.
We had a bath.
We caught him.
All things that have got
nothing to do with a stag do
Personal to him. He likes birds. It was something blue for his wedding. Mm-hmm. Can I make it clear? My dad loves birds
I was stimulated. Did you hear that?
Stimulated because people were throwing birdseed in the mountains in while a twerking cat waxed his arm.
Yes, I know what you're going to say.
You were feeding him worms as well.
From my mouth.
Because we all heard you say, just eat your fucking worms.
Task three.
Make a stirring speech for Taskmaster out of this bunting.
Longest speech that is deemed to be stirring by the Taskmaster wins you may only use the letters on the bunting you have 15 minutes
your time starts now well this is very difficult 15 minutes to do this i would i would panic
yeah i certainly wouldn't have spotted that the red letters told me that there was a video under
the desk and all of the letters
made up a speech that was already in Taskmaster. Yeah I would never have thought about that in a
million years no. Now what was one of these Adil was it one of these ones where you were competitive
and you wanted to do well or was it one way you you threw it? Well it was one of the first I ever
did. I see. So I think it was the first proper test that I ever did.
Yeah.
So I kind of had a certain amount of adrenaline going into it.
Now, when I saw it, I thought, yeah, this will actually suit me because I fancy myself as a wordsmith.
I see.
This is like Big Scrabble, isn't it?
Again.
Yeah.
I thought like this is what I live for.
This is the kind of thing I would do in my spare time.
I shouldn't have told you that i have i'm wanting all over the house but um but so i was i was kind of quietly devastated when i when i uh just couldn't get to grips with it at all uh it
defeated me that this task yet another task that defeated me um so but then i felt i felt you know no matter
what i come up with i i'd be able to do the stirring thing quite well yeah so not only do
i fancy myself as a wordsmith i fancy myself as a as an orator um so i thought like you know i
there's you know i've got two chances here um and i'm not sure i uh managed to do particularly well in either account well the tricky thing about
the way greg judged this is when chris did uh chris's was on my knee i implore you please let
me win this task good our dad um when he did that greg seemed to enjoy the sucking up there
yeah and he said that's what gets you points sucking up to me but then you really suck you suck
up to him to the point that you degrade yourself in your one i am seven types of ranked it you are
swell man hail tm um but he doesn't like he doesn't like that everyone was really mean about that one
yeah why well there was there was i think the fact that you laid into everyone else's before
yours came up again. Rightly so.
That might have affected the way people viewed yours.
Maybe it's because you were mean about yourself.
They didn't like it.
Greg wants you to be subservient, but not self-hating.
Yeah, it's impossible to second guess him.
He's so whimsical.
He's so capricious, is the word.
Totally. And he should be he should
be ashamed of himself actually i can say that now with impunity i i think i think he should have got
you know at least two points for that yeah not not the one point because bridget laid into him
treat others carelessly oik wind is god Nonsense at the end from Bridget.
It doesn't even make sense.
Yours at least had a logic throughout it.
Sophie went with God damn if Sophie Duker wins Taskmaster,
we all win her papa, which was good.
I actually think that was one of my favourites.
And, you know, it was on a similar level to Chris
and I feel like it deserves an extra point.
And Judy just, just again just absolutely
goes goes in like a steamroller and somehow gets the five points yeah hi Taskmaster I don't like
you looking happy Rass man I don't I don't care don't vex me yeah that's amazing I know it's
outrageous really I mean there should be some sort of an inquiry I'm surprised Channel 4 like
are allowed show shows like that that are clearly are clearly rigged in some weird way.
Taskmaster shown favouritism to his...
His favourites.
Yeah, his favourites.
His favourites of the day.
He's so fickle.
You never know where you stand.
Never know.
It was five points for Judy, four points for Chris,
three points for Sophie. And points for chris three points
for sophie and it does get to you ed it does get to you a little bit you know even though like
okay i'm over it now it's there's a few months uh water under the bridge fine okay you know grant i
you know i've come to terms with my with my time on taskmaster but like sometimes now even though
you know i i approach most of the tasks in a spirit of fun and positivity
uh if you do very well at a task or you feel you've done very well at it and you get into
studio and greg you know doesn't appreciate your efforts like it is hurt it is hurtful yeah i know
it's genuinely hurtful if you think you've done well and then it doesn't even have to be if you see everyone
else has done better you just want even if you do get the one point you want someone to say
you did do well there yeah and it happened a few times in the course of the series like you know
like uh uh you know where where clearly i had made like a significantly bigger effort than everyone else and yet he went for you know some
crap you know why do you think that why do you think that was though do you think he was
he was against you for some reason no he couldn't have possibly been against me um i don't know. I just feel that the others were better at licking up to him.
I think, ultimately.
See, but that is the complete opposite of what I thought.
I thought you were desperately trying to lick up to him
from the very beginning of the series.
But do you think they knew how to do it better?
Yeah, I think they did it more subtly than me. I was doing it in a kind of an over the top kind of way for a laugh whereas
they were doing it because they really wanted to win but i think you wanted to win i think
everyone wants to win you want to like, oh, it's fine.
I am seven types of rank tit.
You are Swellman.
Hail TM.
Obviously I was drunk with ego with Hail TM.
You're doing yourself down a little bit with Ranked It.
Seven types. Seven types. Seven types of Ranked It.
They were the only letters available.
That's definitely not true. You used the fewest letters by quite some margin.
Some of them were damaged.
Let's talk about the live task,
which was taking it in terms
to roll a tyre down the nappet.
You must roll from on the stage.
If your tyre does not pass the line,
you may not roll any further tyres.
If both your dolls topple,
you may not roll any further tyres.
What do you call a nappet?
The nappet.
What's the nappet?
The stage that goes out when you're doing a live task is called a nappet the nappet so what's the nappet the stage is the goes out
uh when you're doing a live task it's called the nappet it's named jess nappet uh because in series
seven uh jess nappet they had to do a um they had to do a thing where they were blindfolded and they
had to do a silly walk and then ring a bell uh and she um she walked straight off the side of the stage oh god uh so
it is it is called the nappet i don't even know if they were blindfolded actually everyone else
was blindfolded and if you when you were walking you were allowed to do a silly walk and then ring
the bell and she was not blindfolded and came off the stage so since then it's been called the nappet
okay i'm glad i'm glad you told me that now um that puts my mind at rest. Yeah, I really enjoyed that task.
That is kind of my area, you know.
Yeah, a bit more sporting.
Yeah, yeah, a little bit, you know, it involves coordination and stuff.
So, yeah, quite like that.
Did you enjoy the live tasks in general?
I was usually very tired by the end of the evening.
So I wouldn't say it was my favorite part of the whole enterprise.
But I think, yeah, but then once this started, I always enjoyed them.
Yeah, yeah, once you get into it, once you kind of find out what they are,
I suppose that anticipation of not knowing what they are
and with the live audience there in front of you,
it's kind of like it's an extra little bit of tension, I think.
Yeah, totally.
It always surprises me quite how tense those live tasks are because
they're so silly and then you get to like just rolling rolling a bike wheel towards some dolls
and i'm like come on i know but it's really it's really funny because like you know we spend our
whole lives like human beings generally you don't want to make a fool of yourself no of course
although you know once you sign up for this show you're literally saying make a fool of me and and
i'm going to make a fool of myself now for 10 weeks on tv uh so it's this it is that very uneasy contradiction yeah and also it's funny
making a fool of yourself is funny and that is our job really yeah but we don't want that when
we do yeah but it's liberating as well like it is liberating and that's one of the things i found
about the whole taskmaster experience was how liberating it is to actually just let yourself go.
And, you know, that was great.
But yeah, but once the live audience are involved,
it is slightly different, you know.
It's something just kicks in, doesn't it, you know?
Well, you did very well here.
I mean, it was a good live task all round.
It was tense.
Judy's nail came off.
That was an...
Yeah, that was...
She doesn't seem happy about that at all.
No.
I mean, she's so funny in this task,
sort of imploring with Sophie to not knock her doll over
and calling her sister queen.
And then completely turning on her.
Absolutely outrageous.
Absolutely.
I know.
And the fact that people can't see through that,
I mean, it just kills me.
It kills me every time.
So funny.
Just see her in the background.
It's the perfect shot.
You can see Junior just, like, begging Sophie.
Yeah.
Really, really funny.
Chris, unfortunately, gets taken out very early doors by you.
I think you might have taken double double
chris out which is really impressive yeah i think two of them fell over but we won't you know
yeah thanks it's thanks to you i think yeah uh it was a good technique um judy uh got two points
she didn't even roll it over the over the line uh sophie got three points you got four points but
bridget took it home with five points she did oh yeah she did
she got me she nailed me in the end yeah yeah um so final scores it was it was joint first uh for
you and chris um and then judy bridget and sophie joined last on 16 so it all came down to a tie
break uh which was turn over the most beer mats out of 91 beer mats in 30 seconds and i'm going to be honest with the idol
i did not have you down as the winner of this no nor that i i was sure that's the kind of thing
that chris would have just yeah absolutely yeah it's the energy thing like we discussed earlier
he's a sort of giddy puppy energy you would have thought bang bang bang but this must appeal to
your sporting nature as well yeah it kind of did but it's also you know normally would you be
bothered like when you have when you're given a task like that but i think on that on that day i
was bothered you know so uh i was impressed with myself actually that i i i i did um i did manage
yeah i don't know yeah chris yeah I don't get it. Like, what?
You know, how did it go so badly wrong for Chris?
I just don't understand.
Well, maybe, you know, on that day you were bothered.
Maybe it was one of Chris's not bothered days,
which I didn't know existed, but there we are.
Or maybe, or maybe he is a bit clumsy with the sounds.
That's also an option.
I don't know so it was a victory
for you
your first
your first episode
victory
yeah
overdue
long overdue
yeah
yeah
well
you say that
it's episode four
it's pretty early
in the series
to get an episode
victory I think
especially when
it looked for a while like Chris might dominate
he won the first two episodes
and then I think Bridget won episode
three and then you came and grabbed
an episode by episode four
I had you down
I think I was robbed earlier on
I had you down as not winning
an episode for a while longer
from your performance in episode one and two I thought you know what Ardell is not bothered about winning an episode for a while longer. Really? From your performance in episode one and two,
I thought, you know what?
Ardell is not bothered about winning an episode.
He's taking this at his own pace.
He's there for the ride.
He's going to enjoy it.
He's going to mess around.
He's going to slag off everyone else.
But maybe he won't grab an episode.
So I was very happy that you've got one in episode four
and you could relax a little bit.
Yeah.
The series scores at this point,
still very early doors, but you start to see little patterns emerging your your bottom ardle in the series at this point i believe with
53 points then judy has 56 uh then sophie uh has 63 uh then chris 71. And Bridget is actually in the lead at this point.
It's 73 points.
Staggering.
Staggering.
I mean, I know.
You must have been feeling pretty awful.
What a crazy world is all I can say.
Well, look, we're all absolutely loving the series so far.
It's a really, really great gang of people
who seem to click immediately which is wonderful
to see um ardle we always ask uh our guests on the taskmaster podcast to rate their experience
on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the taskmaster i want you to be honest i
know you're a very honest man so let's hear how you would rate your experience being interviewed by me today? Okay. I would give it a four.
Okay.
That's good.
Is that good?
Yeah, no, I'm happy with that.
I'm happy with four.
Would you have preferred five?
Of course.
Of course, as you well know.
Where did I lose the point?
You didn't lose the point.
I deducted the point from myself.
Ah, okay.
Fair enough.
From my contribution.
Oh, don't do that. It's been a five. Your contribution has Don't do that.
It's been a five.
Your contribution's been an absolute five.
Yeah, well, thank you.
Well, then I'll bump up yours to five.
It was five.
It was a very enjoyable chat.
I'll take it.
Thank you so much, Ardell.
All right, cheers, Ed.
Thank you very much, Ardell, for coming in.
We loved having you on the Taskmaster podcast.
Come back on another day.
Just leaves me to say goodbye.
Do remember to watch Taskmaster every Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4.
We will be back next week with our very special guest, Chris Ramsey.
Chris Ramsey, another wonderful competitor from Taskmaster Series 13.
A very old friend of mine, Chris. I
cannot wait. Well, I was kind of looking forward to berating him about him messing up on Taskmaster.
As soon as I heard he was doing it, I was like, oh man, I can't wait to make fun of him for all
his efforts. He's too good at it. He's really good at it. So now I can't make fun of him. So I'm
really hoping he messes up next week on episode five. So I have something to make fun of him for.
But for now, now goodbye do come
and see me on tour i'm on tour in september pop along the show's called electric uh i've done
loads of dates of it already but i start again in september ed gamble.co.uk fill your lives with
taskmaster fill your lives with ed gamble tour dates i will see you next week bye Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
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