Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 84. Jack Bernhardt - S13 Ep.9

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Joining Ed to discuss the penultimate episode of Series 13 of Taskmaster is uber fan and The People's Podcast host, Jack Bernhardt. Jack serves some wonderful stats and the pair chat cup snakes, handles and surprising deliveries. Watch Series 13 of Taskmaster every Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, host of the Taskmaster podcast. And of course we are still chatting about Series 13, but we are coming towards the end of Series 13. Today we'll be talking about Series 13, Episode 9, the penultimate episode of series 13 today we'll be talking about series 13 episode 9 the penultimate episode of series 13 it's been absolutely incredible it will be very sad to say goodbye but say goodbye we must because we have important things to get on with after series 13 you may have heard that champion of champions is being shown the week after season 13 finishes champion of

champions of course it's me it's richard herring it's lou sanders it's carrie godliman and it's lisa tarbuck champions of the last five series very excited for you to see that i think it's a great episode we had a lot of fun that is at 9 p.m on thursday the 23rd of june that's when you should be tuning into that but enough chat about that because we are here to talk about Series 13, Episode 9 with our special guest. And our special guest this week is the wonderful Jack Bernhardt.

Jack Bernhardt, of course, been on the Taskmaster podcast many times and is the co-host of Taskmaster The People's podcast along with Lou Sanders. Another excellent addition to your Taskmaster podcast listening. He has carved himself out a addition to your Taskmaster podcast listening. He has carved himself out a niche as a Taskmaster stats man. Of course, we will be chatting about

some stats in this episode, but also, you know, I want to get to know the real Jack, the man behind the stats. So we'll be chatting about episode nine of this series. It's another brilliant episode. I have loved every episode of this series i love everyone competing in it it's it's a solid gold classic let's get on with it let's chat about series 13 episode 9 welcome back jack to the taskmaster podcast oh thank you so much for having me hello of course we couldn't we couldn't go through another few episodes without having you on now you're part of the taskmaster podcast cinematic universe as it's traditionally known you do how you do have to come on on a regular basis i'm a pretty big deal ed yeah this is what people are telling me this is what i found out you're a pretty big deal i'm a pretty big deal

i i regularly get beaten by 17 year olds in the quiz at the end of the Taskmaster People's podcast a pretty big deal now you do I mean what's your I mean look you're you're the stat man uh which you didn't when you started coming on this podcast you were slightly resistant to the uh to the label of Taskmaster Statman you didn't feel like that was should be your life or your future but now it's good to see that you fully lent into it you know how in like the first act of most marvel movies there's the bit where the the hero is like i don't know if this is right for me and then like an exciting incident happens i think you calling me the spreadsheet gentleman i was like yeah i'll take that moniker that's my name now exciting incident yeah it's like a marvel film but it ends just with you

covered in spreadsheets just oh yeah i mean invested in spreadsheets it's the one that will ruin the studio we invested a lot of money in the spreadsheet gentleman and it's really bombed so jack what are your thoughts on this series so far i mean we say so far penultimate episode it's we're pretty much at the end now really um i i mean i i feel like i say this every time but i i love it i it's it's and i think and i you talk to a lot of people and i think they've all said a similar thing which is that they're all, apart from Chris, but to an extent, including Chris, they're all a bit off, aren't they? They're all a bit weird.

Yeah. There's no one really you can rely on to be like the solid one who's going to do the task normally. And I think that's quite exciting. It feels like everyone's just a bit weird. Yeah, and I think you're right that chris was certainly was for the first half of the series that guy and he played everything with a straight bat but a few have been a few tasks have been sneaking in now where you just see him

have a complete brain fart and really drop the ball oh we're talking about the the hat and the shoes aren't we the hat and the shoes was a disaster i felt physically like betrayed i can't quite explain it i was like what have you what have you done chris what have you done it was yeah i suppose because you know you sort of think about people being on task and he was doing so well he was doing he was embodying like someone who was like throwing himself in and then just yeah i know i know it was a i know i know it wasn't personal i know he didn't mean to hurt me like that but he did i felt the same about his learning swedish task where i thought he did such a good job and he was really trying hard and he

was really doing his revision and then it all fell out of his brain and he pretended to be asleep and i was i was trying to wake him up even though i know it's it's a pre-recorded show and i was watching through a laptop jack did you and the the look that fred the swede gave and i feel like fred the swede is already quite a like he's disappointed in everyone and everything it feels like in taskmaster it sort of feels like it's you know it's an imposition of his time but the look that fred the sweep gave was like it it sort of bore into my soul it was like i'm not angry i'm just really disappointed in you chris really disappointed that you couldn't be bothered to even remember a part of my language a tiny bit awful but but i mean having said that does make it exciting because now i i can't trust

any of them. No, no, absolutely not. And coming down to this last couple of episodes, I mean, are we safe to say, you're the stat man, are we safe to say that it's probably not a Judy Love victory? I think unless, I mean, look, Ed, I want to say that anything's possible. Yeah. But I don't think it's been possible for quite some time yeah well what i'd say is is that uh loyal listeners will know that judy hasn't been on the podcast yet so maybe next week we always have the winner on the last

week maybe it's judy on next week it's either that or her schedule's too busy for her to to come on next week it's either that or her schedule's too busy for her to to come on i i mean it's one or the other right and i'm i'm pretty sure that you wouldn't have delayed this whole thing i mean oh yeah i do i love judy and she's winning the episode titles oh by far i think normally within taskmaster i think there's everyone maybe gets one or two i think yeah because then greg or alex might get one but i think how many does judy have now i think she must have i mean i could go through the list i have to do a deep dive on this because people have been asking about this and i haven't i haven't done it i've got other things to do and I haven't done it.

I've got other things to do. I'm a busy guy. They're all related to Taskmaster Deep Dives, aren't they? Oh my, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just one of the... I have about seven deep dives to go. Well, she must have... Hang on.

We've already mentioned how many there are. Hang on. I'll get the list of the title up. She did one, two, three, four. She's done four four she's half of the episode so far that is pretty amazing that's insane that's so good but she's the most quote she's one of the most quotable contestants they've ever had i think exactly this you know this this wasn't even like Two Dicks Floating. That's not even an episode title. Which is ludicrous. Yeah, it should be straight away.

That should have been the episode title. They should have changed the name of Taskmaster to Two Dicks Floating. Exactly. Two Dicks Floating. I mean, that's going to bump up the rating by quite a lot, I'd say. Yeah, exactly. Welcome to Two Dicks Floating. I'm Greg Davies.

And here's the other dick. welcome to two dicks floating i'm greg i'm greg davies and here's the other dick well you could you could still call it taskmaster bleeped for the uh for the bleeped version sure yeah absolutely yeah make them the hardcore version called two dicks floating sure look it's been a stunning series so far um do you have any uh any stats to hand uh for either this episode or general interesting stats for the series as a whole so far on hand now, Jack, that you're willing to donate to this podcast rather than save them up for people's pod? I mean, we can't cross the streams too hard, can we? No, that's true. Hang on.

oh this is actually i this is a stat that i think i've said in the people's podcast but i find it amazing um about bridget christie um because she is by far the most inconsistent player that's ever been on the show uh in a delightful way i mean obviously she's she's mad she's brilliant and like you can sort of you sort of know this is true without me having to even say it. So she comes either first or last 61% of the time. That is outstanding work from Bridget. But that's where you want to be, right? To be a good Taskmaster player, a memorable Taskmaster player, first or last is what you want to do.

I think there's no point in playing this game if you're just going to be in the middle although having said that for quite a while sophie was like bang in the middle and now now that she's doing much better now she's you know she's leading the whole show so i think she's played it right but then i suppose it depends what you want to do i mean she bridget has come last 32.93% of the time on the show. Wow. Which is, I think, I think only a couple of other people in the whole show. Hang on, I'll find out.

Yeah, only Paul Chaudhry, Katherine Parkinson and Rasheen Kanti have come last as much as her. And for the fact that she's still a contender in the series just shows how good she is. Yeah, incredible. in the series just shows how good she is yeah incredible okay let's talk let's talk about this episode now episode 9 series 13 prize task the best object with a handle uh it's obviously i mean alex makes a joke that they're running out of ideas by episode 9 i like this prize task i really like this and you know what jack i'm gonna say it i don't think anyone did a good job in this one i think you're well okay no i think that's true apart from ardle i think ardle did a really good job or do you think that that it was made better by everyone else being not great yes because i think ardle it was good and it made

me laugh but if anyone else had done an actual good job with the task then that would have been two or three points it was funny good point the fact that he'd undercut it and just taped a handle to a chess piece a chess piece queen as he said but five points is insane for that that's true and it does point to a to a show as alex says that is sort of flying out of control at this point. Like, yeah. Jude, you got four points for a small bike. Okay, that was, that annoyed me because Greg literally seemed to be saying like, this is one of the worst prizes it's ever been.

Yeah. And then by the end, he was like, yeah, fine. It's the second best thing that's here. Well, she did sell it. I mean, it's awful, but she gets such value out of everything like if i brought in a small bike i'm i'm buckling as soon as greg looks at me but she she leans into it and she goes with it and she says it's small bite imagine me on that who can handle that lovely

big laugh from the audience she's extracted two to three minutes of good television out of it four points is that how greg does it now it's uh with that good tv for two three minutes i think when you're comparing it to a kettle and a door yeah you have to do it like that oh true yeah yeah yeah a kettle a kettle oh god chris chris has fallen apart man so chris used to be so good he's brought in a kettle and he tries to sell it like judy was said it and say it's a jug and then you can heat it up and then you get boiling water we know mate that's what a kettle is you can't just describe what a kettle is also he's like oh you can fill it up past the max fill line if you don't boil it you can fill it up past the max fill line

if you do boil it you can do what you want chris it That, again, I feel like this was residual anger from last episode, but I was like, oh, come on, Chris. Come on, Chris. Think it through, Chris. So another stat, he is the best ever person on film tasks. He is so good on film tasks, but on prize and as in like, statistically he's on like 3.7 or something crazy out of uh points per task because uh that's how we have to do it um but uh on the live task and the prize

task he's not great he's not great pieces goes to pieces goes to pieces but of course if he was if he was amazing at the prize task and studio tasks as well as being that good at the film tasks it would make for a much less interesting series. It's good when they have weaknesses. That's true. Otherwise, we're talking about a superhuman person playing Taskmaster. Which we don't want.

Which would be horrifying. Yeah, exactly. We had that with me. I know you've got the stats there. I know you know that's not true. I'm going to try and find a time that you lost and then, yeah, bring it up. Bridget brought in a door,

which I don't feel is let down by Bridget as we both seem to feel let down by Chris because Bridget, as you say, is wildly inconsistent and is insane. So bringing in a door is not that surprising to me. It felt... I think what annoyed me about that one was it was like it was

it's it like she made her own version of the question which was what is the thing that you couldn't live without that had a handle like because she was saying like oh well imagine if you didn't have a door it's like yeah but i you bring me i have doors bridget yeah you don't need to bring me another door that's what she does a. That is a good way to describe Bridget's approach to Taskmaster. Quite often she reads the task and just does her own version of it. She will ignore rules and points in the task and say, well, that can't be what they mean. I'll just do a different version.

Which sometimes really works. Sometimes really works. Well, she does it later on with the cup task in this episode, and it doesn't work then. No, I shouldn't think it works then. I mean, like, I... Yeah, sometimes you bring in a door. That's the issue with that, isn't it, really?

Yeah, sometimes you end up with a door. Sophie brings in... Well, she says it's a wheel of fortune. I don't know where she's got this. I don't know what she's playing at with this. I would have liked to... I like the idea of it that but it's the best object with a handle and as chris points out the handle is the one thing

that renders it completely useless as the thing she claims it to be well so i thought this thing was a lot smaller than it i think that it is because i think for some reason when they showed it in the studio it looked like it's really tiny and as if that little the handle would be like a bit of metal that would completely throw it off but when they showed it at the studio it looked like it's really tiny and as if that little the handle would be like a bit of metal that would completely throw it off but when they showed it at the end it looked pretty big huge yeah it looked like the handle maybe could have been made out of a lighter metal and that it wouldn't have that effect i mean she does describe it as a rubik's cube but flat which is one of like so confusing that it was it was a way that she said it as if to be like this will explain it this makes it clearer because i don't know about you jack i don't use

a rubik's cube to decide what i do on a day-to-day basis i think a rubik's cube is you just try and make all the sides the same color yeah which which this is the exact again the exact opposite because if you made them the same color you would just have a circle yeah i also think it would have benefited i think she would have got more if she'd written some actual stuff on it it was weird because she had already got the top you know from the um the task with the uh cement mixer she had a tombola like a pre-made tombola of things that might happen or could happen you know like that that she was going to pick out so potentially just stick a couple of those on yeah yeah a couple of gags that didn't make the show you're laughing yeah i mean look it's worth it for the response to ardle uh when you know when he said i've got to pick that and

she said there's not many options you know what else what else is he expecting from life um it's only 10 things happen to you yeah that's great there's nothing more joyous i'm finding in this series than ardle laying into people and then being immediately smacked back down and then giggling like a little naughty boy i love it i i really like because there's been an evolution over the series as well because i think at the start they were a bit like why is the guy from father ted being really mean about my price and and by about episode four they're like oh shut up arnold shut up arnold come on just shut up um it's fantastic anyway arnold gets the five points which i think says a lot about this price task and their performance uh judy gets four points for a small bike.

Sophie gets three points for the Rubik's Cube, but flat. Bridget gets two points for the door. And Chris, of course, gets one point for bringing in a kettle. Chris, can you do worse than that? I've brought a kettle. Here it is. And I'll tell you why. You better make it good.

It's a giant jug, and if you want, it can make it hot. And when you're using it as a jug, you can go all the way past the Maxville line. All the way to the top. Doesn't matter. No wonder Ramsay went after the black and white spinny thing so hard. It was very much a defence mechanism. Task one, get the most surprising thing delivered to the Taskmaster house. You have six hours your

time starts now this is i think hard i think i'd panic being given 50 pounds and you've got six hours which is too long to get some things delivered but not long enough to get other things delivered if you what can you get delivered within six hours it seems weird right it was a it was a it's a strange amount of time i'm not sure if there's ever been a task that's as long term but not as you know what i mean as in like this specific time period of the same day but six hours because six hours you feel like you you want them to do something a bit big yeah i think that that would have thrown me more i think than the 50 pounds although 50 pounds is a step up from 20 pounds remember in the old days yeah i mean as soon as they opened the 50 pounds i thought here we go we're back to um present for the taskmaster i thought we were seeing a little return to that

um but no the delivery within six hours it's so tricky to work out what you do but i think i think you have to go big like you're saying i think you have to go massive and i don't think anyone did go big um judy's was perhaps my favorite in terms of surprise yeah i mean again i think uh dave gorman's talked about this on the show hasn't he where he talks about the problem of do something surprising is you're initially you're already going to have the thing of the you know alex is going to be expecting something anyway so yes i think what you have to do and i think what judy did really well is you have to play against type yeah so you have to be like we all know what what judy would consider surprising or we think we know what judy would consider surprising and therefore if she does something

that she would consider surprising it's not surprising but i think that her idea like if bridget did that a skateboard with some fish she'd be like oh bridget typical bridget let me tell you yeah like whereas here you're like judy's done that what's going on yeah what's going on there how does she track down a box of fish head and tail so how does she have those contacts and being delivered on a skateboard as well is fantastic and you can hear the surprise in the audience it's the only one where you can truly hear the audience shocked and surprised yeah there's genuine there's a genuine sort of like i mean i i think there's a genuine sense of horror when the fish sort of wheels into

view yeah like a reaction oh no and then it cuts to judy doing the most perfect face yeah perfect absolutely ideal and then the revelation that she spent the 45 pounds the remaining 45 pounds on that place again i i love i love her relationship with greg to the point that i feel like anyone else would have tried to have dodged it. You know, fish is very expensive. Cost of living crisis. And she just Nando's. Perfect. Nando's.

Yeah, perfect. That's a lot of Nando's as well. 45 quid. Ardell brought in a wind or wind operated scarecrow owl. Look, Greg was exactly right here. That Ardell doesn't play against type here he doesn't do what judy did because ardell is so whimsical that a wind operated scarecrow owl is not surprising to me and he sat there at the desk and he's so he does a proper little doogle face when it arrives

yeah and he's all giddy and excited and then when it's an owl of course it's an owl of course i mean the i suppose the slightly surprising thing was that at one point in the show and on this podcast he said he didn't like owls yeah so but then that might have just been him being chippy so it's hard to know yeah it was it's it's entirely in his comfort zone yes almost totally it's almost surprising that he didn't do something more surprising yeah well maybe that's it maybe you should have got the five points um for the double bluff yeah what's interesting about this is it doesn't they give them 50 pounds but it doesn't mention the 50 pounds in the in the task so my initial thought was when chris had the newborn baby delivered he didn't spend £50 on that.

He borrowed a baby, right? One hopes. One hopes. I'm reliably told he did borrow a baby from a trusted member of production, and the baby's name is Lucas. Oh, I thought that was his baby. It's not his baby. It would have cost more than £50 to get one of Chris's children

down from the northeast of England. Absolutely. The baby's name is Lucas, but I don't think the £50 was spent on getting Lucas to the house. Yeah, no one hopes again. Yeah, we really do hope that they didn't bug my baby in an Uber.

Yeah. Because I'm assuming Sophie didn't spend £ pounds oh getting the worms but were they delivered the worms or did she dig up the worms i guess she had i don't think she dug up the worms yeah i think she must have had them delivered i was slightly disappointed with sophie's one in this one because i felt like again it's the six hours that's the problem though yeah is you sort of go after saying you've had six hours with this. It is then hard to be like, okay, it's some worms in a basket, which is, I mean, it is surprising.

Again, it's surprising in a sense because you have the initial thing of it being a nice basket and you open the top and it's worms. But again, because you're expecting a surprise, it's a minefield, isn't it? You're playing against various different types again. It's a tricky one. And Sophie does not play against type here because she is so obsessed with death and decay and is always horrible to Alex. And this is classic Duker.

It's brutal, but not surprising given her track record in this competition. Yeah, the worms the the the ultimate death creature yes yes loads of death creatures i do like it when alex said because alex is always very clear on when food's used or anything like that especially in the the climate we're living in at the moment that the food always gets used and it's you know there's they donate to good causes so when he said the fish heads all went into a stew, and then when he started saying,

I just want to assure everyone that the worms, I was like, don't tell me that bloke took it and put it in the stew. And it was delicious. It was. And it was delicious. Yeah, it went very well with the fish heads because that man lives in the twits.

What must those worms have been thinking? They're bunged in a bucket, delivered to the Taskmaster house, and then just emptied onto the lawn. What a nice holiday for those guys. It's a great life. Well, I suppose, I mean, they do now live on the Taskmaster property. And I feel like if you're going to be a worm in one house in London, you probably don't want to be a worm in the Taskmaster house.

No, beginning of the next series, I'm told is uh eat the most worms your time starts now that's champions champions isn't it they replace all five tasks with a worm eating competition uh bridget had a welsh king delivered i think Bridget really tied herself up in knots here. It was pretty baffling stuff from Bridget, don't you think? I, so, okay, I was impressed. See, I think she used her time the best. Yes. Like, she was the one where you're like,

okay, I can see the hours. The hours have been put in here. Yeah. I, it was baffling, but then that's sort of par for the course with Bridget at this point. Yeah, once it was picked apart in the studio, you could see what she was going for and you could see what she was aiming for, right? It was when Alex said, he looks like a Welsh king.

And then, oh, he is a Welsh king. It was like, Alex was clearly like, I'm going to have to give her a little bit of a leg up here. Now, here's an interesting thing. You know, she was talking about she'd called people and she'd spoken to people. Yeah. I, one day, I guess when they were filming this, I got a call from Alex saying, Bridget needs to ask you some questions. And Bridget demanded of me facts about Gregreg that no one might know things that he likes things that he's into things that might be good and i was like why what's the task and alex sort

of told me and i was like i can't see why she's doing it even at the time i was like i can't see why this is this is anything to do with what she's supposed to be doing so i've been baffled about this for months that it's really it's no clearer having seen the episode um that's very unsatisfying on your part i'm sure yeah and i don't think i i don't think i helped at all um i tried to give her some information and then alex texted me going it's sorted it's sorted i mean was one of her questions uh what number is greg's gp absolutely incredible that Alex texted me saying I mean I could try and find the text

incredible that Alex said it was sorted and then that's what he meant it's fine we've got a member of production dressed as a Welsh king absolutely fine okay I think this must be something to do with it because I distinctly remember a call.

I'm pretty sure that happened. This on the 25th of June, 2021. Alex texted me saying, does Greg like darts a lot or just a little? So I think that might have had something to do do with it i'm glad she didn't go with the darts as far as i'm aware he doesn't like that that's a lot just a little oh i now really want to know if that was before or after the um location task because i feel like alex and bridget's relationship really went off a cliff after they like went after the shoe incident

well jack we talk about we talk about this a lot and yeah i think basically alex is shorter with bridget than he is with any other contestant in taskmaster history i'd say but i think it's chronologically every task after the shoe one everything she does and does something stupid he will sarcastically comment on it and i love it furious it's just that the the email sent or the text sent to you seems like quite helpful like i'm trying to help out bridget this is what i'll do i can imagine if that had been after the shoe and you've been like do it yourself do it yourself absolutely well look we can see some of the snipping coming up in the in the cup snake task but you're right bridget puts in the effort here she does the

research and she gets four points but i think it doesn't deserve as many points as judy i think it's devastating that she got the same amount of points as judy i think judy should have got the five points i think judy should have got the so i think judy should have got the five points i'm not sure about chris getting the five points i'll be honest with you no i i feel like it may have been surprising but it wasn't it was it was sinister i thought it was very sinister it was quite sinister well now that i know that it's not his kid it was quite sinister yeah and also it's not surprising because we know chris is a dad we know he's a good dad yeah so you know him carrying a baby and the baby being comfortable is not it's not a surprise to me exactly i i was i was looking at being like that's just that that's just a dad that's just i don't care chris yeah absolutely no no no so i think that was a three

that was a three point for me i was about to say that yeah five points for judy four points for for bridget and three for chris and Ardell and Sophie on two points I think is pretty I mean maybe even one for Ardell actually I think I think one for Ardell it wasn't strong but Greg disagreed with us and that's what matters I was quite surprised exactly I was surprised at how much I look like the damn fish. LAUGHTER HE CHUCKLES HE CHUCKLES Yeah, well, I mean, you know, she fulfilled the brief, didn't she? It's very out of character. None of us saw a load of awful fish heads

on top of a skateboard. Never expected that, did you, Alex? And it's skateboarded down to us. I mean, come on. So you spent a fiver on a load of fish guts, put them on someone else's skateboard, and the 45 went to... Nando's.

Yeah, that is... Very good. and has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge

Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Task two, make the longest cup snake and lie down next to it outside this building.

You may only leave the building twice. You 10 minutes your time starts now as chris ramsey so eloquently puts it what's a cup snake um amazingly that was his fifth question i mean i i guess you see those cup snakes a lot at festivals when you get some money for taking the plastic cup back and you see kids walking around festivals with huge towering cup snakes that's where what cup snakes reminded me of i've never heard of a cup snake yeah i mean i would have immediately thought it's just you've got to stack the stack the cups up oh like i worked i worked it out sure yeah yeah yeah i was pretty sure it was a log with some snakes on it listen let's talk about bridget straight away because i think my opinion is i don't think this task would have necessarily made the edit had bridget not done what she did because everyone

else just went quite straightforward with it they managed to get the cups together they all did a pretty good job if bridget had done a pretty good job i think this would have been up for the chop but what she does is loses her mind it was interesting because the idea that she had ruined herself by leaving immediately she hadn't really no you go back in you build it in there and you push it out then then you then you leave to lie down next to it or you put all that you you throw as many cups as you can out of out of the barn and you do it outside where you got more space yeah yeah i i don't i literally don't understand what the problem is with her leaving and then coming back in again no because she invents her own rules after she's read the task

she she does it so many times especially on the location day it's so odd i just i mean it it was portrayed as this sort of like oh no i've i've ruined it but she's fine she she has she has all the time but then i think actually yeah i think you're right again it is to do with bridget this this was a i can't work out a better way to do it i think yeah than just doing it so i'm glad bridget proved me wrong yeah yeah i think yeah well that wasn't a better way to do it though no she finds a way around it but still gets the shortest one so you've got to think if she maybe went and found loads of really long branches and lined them all up for like 50 meters and put a cup at the end of it greg would have still accepted that and she would have got the five points well see i don't think greg would have accepted that i think greg accepts

that i think greg accepts the log with the knowledge that surely it's the shortest one because he knows that she's lost anyway so he may as well just give her one point yeah yeah because i think if if she had won based on that i I think Chris would have lost his mind. Or Judy would have lost her mind, having already lost it when she was beaten by the pedometer task with the record something on her thing. Yeah. She would be absolutely livid and with good reason in this case. Judy deserved to win this. She did.

Although, I mean, again, Alex was doing quite a lot of like she did ask alex to help because she does that in every single task yeah but it's not really helped her up until this point does it yeah like this is the time where it's like oh yeah it's useful to have uh useful to have alex do everything for you sure yeah yeah absolutely but look i was so happy she got five points in this task because she did actually just work out what was being asked of her, did it, worked hard at it, obviously got Alex to help a little bit, but then just brilliant. Well done, Judy. Absolutely brilliant.

There's a bit where she's on the floor, she's pointing at herself and saying, Cup Queen. I was like, that's exactly what you are. You're a Cup Queen. Cup Queen. And of course, Cup King Prince. Cup King Prince Chris. Cup King is Chris. you're a cup queen cup queen uh and of course cup king prince uh cup king prince chris cup king is chris uh yeah who um who gets 9.6 meters well below judy's 11.21 meters uh sophie so wouldn't have seen coming no third yeah sophie's third but again this is this is what you're saying about

sophie's if if she's first, she's mid-table. Exactly. Very rarely will Sophie be bottom. I don't think she has any incidences where she properly falls apart. No. She's keeping the course going very well. And if it looks like she's fallen apart, it's because she's thrown herself into the task so much.

Yes. The licking, for example. Exactly. She's having a breakdown, but it's for the's thrown herself into the task so much so yes the licking for example exactly she's having a breakdown but it's for the for the good of the task oh i mean i think i think she's falling apart when she's winning sure yeah yeah yeah that's true that's true everyone a task master right you have to to win yeah i think so i think you have to lose a part of yourself to win taskmaster um ardle uh two points for his 8.5 metre cup snake and of course one point for Bridget's log with some cups on.

I mean, Judy, you were incredibly efficient. Because I move like a snake. I mean, it was just genuinely impressive. Bridget, a more unique approach. It was very creative, you know,

and, well, I stepped out of the barn and fucked myself, so... LAUGHTER A little more honest in terms of the analysis. Task three. Poke a part of your body out of the analysis. Task three. Poke a part of your body out of the shower curtain and waggle it about for ten seconds. The taskmaster will guess what part of the body it is. The biggest part of the body that the taskmaster

incorrectly identifies wins. You must poke your body out of the shower curtain and waggle it about within the next 15 minutes. Now, this feels very similar to the team studio task that they had earlier in the series. It does. Again, I think this was something that they probably tried and then thought we could get a good studio task out of this.

And then Ardell did this and they thought, well, we can't not include this as well. It's all down to Ardell once again. It's all down to Arddle once again it's all down to ardell having an absolute meltdown this isn't this is the first time i've said ardell looks genuinely worried about himself when he sees back yeah when he emerges with a face drawn on his arm with no trousers on for no reason there's no reason it's like he's 89 or you know he's alex goes do you want to do you want to go in there you're gonna have to go in there he's just wandered out with his trousers

on it's like he's in a corridor of an old people's home yes yes this way i suppose i'll go this way and he thought he thought greg might think it was a neck. That, see, okay. I need to know. I need to know the thinking there on so many levels. He thought Greg might think it was a neck because of the face. Surely not. We know he can't draw faces.

But also, is his face, because it was drawn, drawn because he's wearing i have to look at it again but is it just he would think that his entire body's on the sock like what how isn't the face facing the wrong way yeah yeah a neck and a net he thought it would be a neck with a face on it is that yeah or is he okay i just there's this is this is what i want i want to go back in and i think that we i think that ardle doesn't know the answer and i think that if you try and ask him he'll just get like a glazed horrified look over his face he remembers what he did well that's what he gets in the studio and it's the only time i've genuinely been worried about ardle most of the time when he does something silly he's got that cheeky little grin that suggests well i couldn't be bothered to do it right and i'm just messing around here he looks just quite shaken it's the second time he's been somewhere

for a long period of time and then come out and done something a bit disappointing or weird and you want to desperately know what was in those what happened in those 15 minutes well it reminds me of the phil one quick change task uh in series seven where phil they had to do a quick change and phil took so long over it and came out with barely changed at all but in that we did have a shot of what phil was doing and he was moving at the pace of a snail yeah but he he looked very happy with himself while he was doing that like he sort of seemed like i i'm in control i know what i'm doing whereas i feel like if you had a hidden camera in aldol's shower yeah you would

see a man you would see like into the abyss of someone's soul at what point did he take the trousers off for example he he seems to say that he does it quite early yeah and then changes his mind about what he's doing trousers were on my he said i've got my trousers on my head so i'm not okay was he planning to make his neck his waist maybe or make his or do a handstand and make... I don't know, make his dick his nose. I don't know what he was going to try and do. I'm not sure I want to know. I'm so happy

that he did whatever he did. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. We should talk about the others. Very happy for Judy that Greg thinks the worst of her and she actually did the right thing and she actually tricked Greg and put some effort in.

But had forgotten entirely. But of course had forgotten because the rest of the series she'd either just done the easiest thing or asked Alex to do it. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Alex's hand. Yeah, that's true.

Alex just, there we go. Sure chris of course you you've got to guess that that's his foot chris does make the effort he does put the effort in and he is true to type every time he is going to get on something and stick his leg out i think so i think you're right but i do think what was clever was that he put the the the shoe or the the boot slightly askew so that it looked like someone's hand had been forced into it. So it's quite hard to get your head, because once you see that, you're like, well, that looks like that looks like.

Yeah. Yeah, so I think that was the clever, but the cow, I mean, the cow was genius as well. Yes, brilliant. It was a really, really good idea. Greg guesses arms for Sophie, and it was Sophie's hair. Sure, that's the cleverest one we've had i think that's the best one i i was so i think i think chris you know chris deserve four i think

sophie i think there should have been a difference between sophie and chris because yeah oh that was so good when that when it was really it was really good and did she tear her like the leg off her trousers to do it? I think she had just put it in one leg and then put the other one behind the curtain, from what I could work out, maybe. But I think the clever thing was she held her hair so tightly that it did have the rigidity that you would get from an arm, but it flopped around enough to believe

that someone was trying to make it look floppy. Exactly. It had the perfect level of, like, well, it doesn't look enough like an arm for it to be an arm but it flopped around enough to believe that someone was trying to make it look floppy exactly it had the perfect level of like well it doesn't look enough like an arm for it to be an arm yeah but it could also be someone pretending it's it's i can't think of another task where also the contestants have filmed something and then they have to employ gamesmanship later on with greg yeah in the studio yeah in the studio i was looking through and trying to see if there was an example i don't think there is it's a very cool idea i really enjoyed it yeah i really enjoyed this one um and of course bridget uh puts a sheet on her head

puts a hat on top of her head so it looks like a head and then nods her head exactly like a head so greg guessed it was a head and he was right. The magic of this show. We can go for it. Someone turning their hair into a foot, into an actual leg, to someone with a sheet on their head nodding. So it was nought points for Bridget, nought points for Ardal, of course,

four points for Judy, and five course. Four points for Judy. And five points for both Chris and Sophie. What is that, Greg? It's Ardal's arm, obviously. Let's have a look. You can come out now, Ardal. Thank you. Do you want to go back into the nice balloon place?

Why aren't you wearing trousers? You don't need to not wear trousers! I don't know. I just don't... I don't know. What were you doing in there? I don't know, Greg. He was hoping that you would think it was his neck. That was his plan. What are you talking about?

Oh, my God. I'm going to die. I was sure you would think it was my neck. I mean, was it like the face? Oh, the face, yes. The live task. This is heartbreaking. Oh, my God.

Now, listeners will know this was at the point that judy could have won an episode she has not won an episode up until this point could she win this episode she's still in with a shout um write down how many tin cans you can you think you can fit in your bag the highest predicted number fitted in a zip up bag the highest predicted number fitted in a zipped up bag within one minute wins if you don't zip up your bag or fit in your predicted number of tin cans in your bag you will be disqualified after alex blows his whistle you will have 10 seconds to write down your number now this is really this is tricky right because afterwards we get told if judy had written nought and zipped up her bag she'd written one and zipped up her bag she would

have won the episode but of course you don't know to do that at the time you're not gonna no one's gonna take that risk are they and also not even take that you have to do a little bit of like learning like knowing how many points you need to win yeah and then also knowing like what other people do that it i think you've only got 10 seconds to make this decision yes i feel like all you're really thinking about is how many cans can i put in that bag quite yeah the extra thing doesn't really come into it um i would have when when arnold says 35 at the start i i i think i turned to my wife and i was like that's ridiculous yeah with with literally no context of like what actually is ridiculous and what is doable i think you can sort of tell audience members are laughing

as well because they're like, 35? And it turns out it's the perfect amount. Yeah. Yeah, he does amazingly well, as does Chris. A little bit more cautious, writes 30 and fits in 30. Bridget,

absolute madness from her as per 54 cans. Of course she can't zip up her bag. But when Adil said 35, I was like, that's crazy. So when Bridget said 35, I was like, that's crazy. So when Bridget said 54, I was like, maybe it's a magic bag. Maybe it's possible.

Maybe. Maybe. Judy writes 30, exactly what Chris did. But as she said, I mean, that little bit of dialogue that she comes out with about it's like she was at a market she was trying to fit planted in and stuff made me laugh so much and it what made me laugh even more is the fact she's devastated she's being disqualified but she's still hilarious she's still delivering all this amazing stuff but with the saddest face you've ever seen so sad it is it's a new level of judy you're like oh god absolutely

on point the bit where at the end where she's done too many, which is the worst way to do it, by the way. Oh yeah. If you're going to do it, don't do, do it with too few. Don't do too many. Heartbreaking. When Sophie gives her a hug and then Alex tries to give her a hug and she just says, don't touch me.

Yeah. So funny. A rare misstep from Sophie as well uh she writes 29 and fits in 28 so she's disqualified as well which and and sophie was also using a fair amount of time to help judy which was wonderful uh yeah like more more of that in taskmaster please great but then as a result she could have you know she could have recounted or checked or kept an eye on how many she was doing probably led to her missing out on three points can i just say this is how much i think this team has bonded that when judy doesn't win the episode and she was so close and alex is giving those

those stats that if she just zipped up the bag she would have won the episode any other time and any other taskmaster series people would have been laughing at that they were all genuinely devastated so if they were heartbroken sophie looks heartbroken but also furious with alex she is staring absolute daggers at him there's a there's a bit when um because there's a lot of admin in this task because you have the you know the guessing the amount and putting the stuff in and then you have the count there's a bit once judy's you know once judy uh is disqualified they do it you know sophie's turn to have it counted and alex tries to do a sort of like a oh two oh five and sophie just looks at him and goes yeah it's the most solemn oh goodness

so let's talk about uh the rankings in this uh in this episode uh bridget now you you might have the stats on this bridget gets seven points this episode yeah it's it's grim i'm gonna it's not that that's gotta be one of the lowest episode scores ever hasn't it so yeah there are only seven people who have had worse scores in the history of the show right which is that's more than i expected to be honest like well so uh daisy may cooper had seven as well um so actually i was well catherine parkinson had six alice levine had six mike wozniak had a nightmare and had six at one point. Oh, yeah.

The dreaded episode. Yeah. Yeah. The not great one. And Charlotte Ritchie and Richard Osman had five. And Mel Gedroich scored three once. Wow. How is that even possible?

I think she... So this is very... That's like very niche. But do you remember the... If you eat the chocolate, you get minus five points. That was what happened, I think. Yeah, fair enough. So, but this was, there was nothing like this in this episode. So seven is a pretty damn low score.

It's pretty terrible, yes. Yeah. And it feels like, I don't know, like Bridget was a contender, but that is not a good score to have in the penultimate episode. What's amazing is that she managed to score four points in the first task. So every other task she's scored three. Yeah, wowzers. Three.

Sophie on 13, Ardell on 14, Judy on 17 and chris wins the episode on 19 but in the series it is so close at the top uh it feels like a bit of a two-horse race now between sophie and chris sophie's on 151 chris is on 149 and then we drop down 10 points to bridget on 139 i mean i guess a stunning final episode from Bridget. I mean, or Ardell, if we take that. Ardell's on 1-3-8. If you're going to say Bridget's still in it, then you have to say Ardell's still in it, I'd say.

I don't want to say that. Because I don't believe that Ardell could have a good episode. I mean, that's what I was going to say, is that Bridget is more capable of of scoring like 25 or 30 just out of just out of nothing whereas i feel like ardle ardle have the yogurt and the um the wooden spoon will come out at some point i'm sure he'll pop his trousers off and get four points across the whole episode and judy on one two nine it doesn't it doesn't feel like judy's gonna be able to do it unfortunately but who knows maybe we'll have her on the podcast next week you never know it could

happen um she's she's done pretty well i will say judy uh like in terms of being fifth place in the show like uh she she's one of the highest scoring fifth places yeah at this point she's had some really good tasks and she certainly made an impact generally i mean as as a lot of the highest scoring fifth places yeah at this point she's had some really good tasks and she certainly made an impact generally i mean as as a lot of the time the people who come bottom do make the biggest impact um so you know i i'm hoping for a big turnaround next week maybe we Jack, you of course co-host the People's Podcast, Taskmaster the People's Podcast, with Lou Sanders, friend of the pod. Taskmaster legend,

where you will interview people who are very involved in the world of Taskmaster, but not necessarily from the production side of things. Super fans fans people who make Taskmaster their lives tell us a little bit more about what you might have coming up on the people's podcast well we have a lot of jokes a lot of laughs and a lot of fun you lose I'm so bad oh we do have lots of quizzes we uh yeah as you say we talk to super fans we talk to people who love the show who have done amazing things we've got um the person who runs the uh no context taskmaster is on this week and she's brilliant uh and i think i think you feature quite heavily

in the no context taskmaster do i now well i think you do i'll have to have a look you have to have a follow i wasn't going to before but yeah hello um and we talked to just people who because everyone loves taskmaster and uh the the fans are so involved and so excited it's just it's a really lovely fun show uh and in fact next week we also have the Alex Horn, effectively, of Norway. Amazing. I'm sure that's how he goes around and calls people. Yeah. Calls himself to people. Ollie Wormscock will be on the show.

Amazing. So it's just a really lovely, fun show. And we do lots of giveaways as well. If you want to get Lou Sanders' Taskmaster suit and also some of her prizes that she won because she won a lot of prizes. What the hell? She's giving all that away, is she? She's giving some of it away. She gave her to

a very good voice note that we got. Lots of listeners sent in their favourite prize tasks across the series and Lou sent in her she sent her the it was the best protection so it was a big coat with like a crucifix and a prayer and a um uh a condom of with lou sanders face on it oh yeah classic classic luli um thank you very much for coming back on this podcast

though jack we've loved having you here we of course always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between 1 and 5 points in the style of the Taskmaster you've done it many times before let's have another rating from you please Jack okay I'm going to give it a 5 good

what I will say is there a record of all of these stats of the ratings that people give it i was sort of hoping you'd be doing that okay okay i thought i see i thought this i'm sort of relying i'm sort of relying on you to do that mate because because of the kind of person that i am i'm now gonna have to go back and listen to and try and work out what the average rating is and then a couple of times people give it like 80 points, so it'll be thrown out of whack.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry, mate. It's going to be a tricky spreadsheet, but you've got to do it. I've got to do it. Thank you very much for my five points, though. Jack, thank you very much for coming back

on the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you very much there to the wonderful Jack Bernhardt. Don't forget to listen to Taskmaster, the people's podcast, the podcast that he co-hosts with Lou Sanders. It's a wonderful listen. Thanks very much for listening to this. We'll be back next week, of course, straight after the final episode of Series 13.

The podcast will drop at 10 p.m. because the main show starts at 9 p.m. on Channel 4. Straight afterwards, we'll be here chatting to the winner of taskmaster series 13 who's it gonna be there's a lot of people in contention at the moment and judy as well so think about this who could it be it's very exciting have a think about it get your predictions in let's be discussing it it's it's exciting it's very exciting come back and listen to me chat to the winner of series 13 of Taskmaster next week.

And don't forget that on the 23rd of June at 9pm, it is Champion of Champions 2. Champion of Champions 2. It's only one episode this time. We've packed it into all one episode. I think it's very good. I think you're going to enjoy it. But for now, goodbye.

We will see you next week on the Taskmaster Podcast. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Gold tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes.

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