Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 87. Laura Daniel - S6 Ep.9
Episode Date: June 30, 2022On this week's podcast Ed returns to Series 6. Joining him to break down Ep 9 task by task is comedian and NZ Taskmaster legend Laura Daniel! The pair talk musicals, bubbles, cats and sabotage. Plus L...aura chats about her experience on TM NZ and discusses who she thinks would be great on the show.Book tickets to the Two Hearts Edinburgh show here: https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/two-hearts-we-re-pregnant-and-the-baby-is-musicFollow Laura on Instagram: @imlauradanielWatch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
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This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. hello and welcome to the taskmaster podcast ed gamble here uh we're back on our historic
taskmaster retro episode reviews now back on series 6 uh after finishing off the brilliant
series 13 and taskmaster champion of
champions 2 uh less said about that the better we're now talking about series 6 episode 9 we're
nearly done with series 6 it's been a wild ride been very exciting and even more excitingly today
we get to talk to the wonderful laura daniel laura is absolutely brilliant uh if you've seen
taskmaster series 2 from New Zealand,
you'll know that. You'll know she's absolutely wonderful. Brilliant Taskmaster contestant.
We will be talking about that and we may be giving spoilers. If you have not seen Taskmaster
New Zealand Series 2, I would go and watch it somehow. I don't know how.
I wouldn't know how.
But you need to go and watch that
unless you don't mind having a few little things spoiled for you.
But it's going to be a good episode.
It was a good episode of Taskmaster Series 6 as well.
I do mention in the show
there's one of my favourite moments in this episode
and also one of my least favourite moments
that genuinely makes me angry. So look forward to finding out what those are here's
some things that you need to know if you're a fan of laura daniel and after this episode i promise
promise you even if you've not heard of her or seen taskmaster new zealand you will be a fan
laura is in a musical comedy double act with joseph moore who is uh very much uh sort of the
architect behind a
lot of the tasks in taskmaster new zealand uh they are called two hearts they're bringing a show to
the edinburgh festival i love two hearts they are so funny the show's called we're pregnant and the
baby is music uh it's on all of august uh 10 to 9 assembly george square the blue room if you're
going to the fringe make that part of your schedule if you can't make it they're doing
the pleasants in london on the 22nd of july 30 and the Comedia in Brighton on the 25th of July
at 7 30 do go and watch that show it is brilliant but for now let's hear about Taskmaster series 6
episode 9 with the wonderful Laura Daniel.
Welcome Laura to the Taskmaster podcast.
Kia ora. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
Well, thank you so much for coming on.
We're absolutely privileged and delighted to have Taskmaster New Zealand Series 2 champion Laura Daniel on the podcast, I mean, I can see you've got the trophy behind you.
Before we started recording,
you claimed that you've put that behind you
because you heard I have the trophy behind me.
Is that true or is the trophy always there?
Nah, the trophy's always there.
I was about to lie about it,
but then I realised all those fans over in the UK that go deep on our streams, they know it's there.
So this is an interesting point. I wanted to talk about this anyway, because there are a lot of fans of Taskmaster New Zealand in the UK.
Do you feel like you get more of a cultish thing coming from the UK than you even do in New Zealand? Or is there a big fan base there too?
altish thing coming from the UK than you even do in New Zealand or is there a big fan base there too?
I think a little bit I mean yeah we definitely we definitely hit there's a big following in New Zealand like to the point where they've had to put pretty much all the seasons on our like
local streaming network here so yeah there's definitely got a fan base here and when our
season came out we actually actually, halfway through,
we went into another lockdown here in New Zealand.
So it meant that, like, just everyone started watching it.
So there's, like, there's quite a few fans here as well now
and that are going back and watching the old seasons of Taskmasters as well,
which are just, you know, beautiful and funny and great.
Yeah, and I think that's, I mean, I'm a huge fan of Taskmasters New Zealand as well.
And I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that you guys simply can't reuse any tasks from the UK one because it's already been on TV.
So there's that forced creativity.
However, I've noticed you guys can reuse some of ours.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
It does not work both ways.
Thank you very much.
It does not work both ways.
I've just done Champion of Champions and the live task was a live task in,
I think in series two of Taskmaster New Zealand, right?
You had the, was it onions or nothing
became bricks or balloons?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you would have thought that me having seen that
would have given me some sort of advantage some sort of advantage uh in the nap screwed
up still i don't think you can like um even knowing what that tasks like how to do it i don't
think it really helps because there is no real way to do that task you know no it's just no you need
some sort of acting skill yeah and i thought i actually would have had that one in the bag I went to I spent three
years and sixty thousand dollars going to drama school but yeah oh well pretty quick
so before before you took part in in Taskmaster New Zealand had you seen
much of the UK version were you a fan already of the UK version? Yeah, yeah, no, I had seen quite a bit. I definitely had watched a lot of it via YouTube.
So I watched, I hadn't watched heaps of the seasons, like, you know, consecutively in a row.
But I had done a few, the ones that were available on the streaming service here.
And yeah, then I've watched a lot of like compilations of Taskmaster,
which is something that you just put on to enjoy when you're
watching YouTube or something.
So yeah, I, I've definitely, it was very familiar with Taskmaster before I was on
it so much to the point, like, uh, cause I was on the second season.
So when it came to New Zealand, we watched the first season and I remember going to
the, I, well, really wanted to be on the first season.
Wasn't on it.
Was a little bit annoyed about it.
Yeah.
That's fine to say that's all right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I, um, I actually remember I went to the record with Guy Montgomery,
who was also on, um, our second season and we were kind of both sitting there.
I remember just being like, we want this to be good because we want to do it next year yeah that's the only reason it's not you know
it'd be good for good for New Zealand good for television good for your friends here on the first
series just to give you the opportunity to do it yourselves absolutely oh well also like I'm
supposed to be like my partner works on it I'm supposed to be like, my partner works on it. I'm supposed to be supportive. Yeah, well, we say we, you know, I mentioned the fact that there's amazing new creative tasks. Your partner, Joseph Moore is behind a lot of those tasks.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So he was like a creative producer on it. And he oversaw like kind of the structure of the show and wrote a lot of the tasks. So, um, it was really like detrimental to our relationship.
It was horrible.
Like coming home after the last house was like, well, you didn't tell me that.
He's like, yeah, I haven't told you anything because he was like a lock box.
And we said, we like said it was going to be fine.
And we were like, we like created some boundaries.
We just weren't allowed to talk about it at all.
Cause it ruins the show.
Like you have to be, you know, seeing everything for the first time and um yeah i couldn't um i couldn't hack it but there must
have been times when he was coming up with those tasks where he would have thought laura's gonna
be really good at that or laura's gonna be terrible at that and then still had to go ahead with them
yeah absolutely i was terrified they were going to do some type of math
challenge um because they know i'm terrible at it but they'd already like burnt that in the first
season so but i knew they were going to get me in some way they were going to give me something and
they ended up giving me this type of thing where i had to sabotage the team and they knew it would
just like really rip me apart um so there was like there was things that were good for the show like
that and he he knows everyone so well on the show that they were able to like,
kind of screw with us a bit, um, which is good.
Um, but yeah, and then there were times that like, I remember coming home from
a task from a shoot day and just being like, I really screwed that task up.
Like so badly.
It was one with onions again.
And, uh, you had to like like just get the tower as high as
possible or something like that and i thought i'd done so badly and i went on about it for months
and all the whole time he just had to shut up and he's like oh it's so like she's so annoying
because it turns out i had i ended up having the tallest tower but like the the amount i
complained about it yeah because i've got quite a competitive spirit you know so it wasn't um it's not that fun uh being on a show that we have to keep it secret from each other
but yeah I feel like um I feel like we have similar task master energies which is a competitive
spirit that we try to obscure but are very unsuccessful in that um absolutely also I
completely understand that thing of complaining about a task getting
annoyed about the rules and really throwing your toys out the pram only to find out you've done
quite well which is the worst feeling in the world and you look like an absolute fuck yeah
yeah well i was kind of and that's like i do have a bit of a competitive spirit so i was really
um like you know having watched the show i was like okay i either want to do really well and
get fives or i want to do really bad and get ones because that would be funny and what happens is
you often land in like the four three zone yeah because you're still like you can't help but try
you know yeah i i out loud used to say that as. I either want to get fives or ones because ones is really funny,
but I don't like getting the ones.
No, yeah, yeah.
It's harder to eat when you get them. Yeah.
Let's talk about this episode because I'd say, I'm going to say at the top,
this episode features one of my favorite taskmaster moments ever and also one of my least favorite tasks of all time
um and it actually annoys me so i wonder how much they're going to leave in the edit of this
podcast because i am going to get quite angry about it but we'll we'll come to that later
um neither of which occur in the prize task which is a good prize task most pleasing thing the same size
as a cat now let's talk about prize tasks in general first laura because you are very very
good at these and when we asked for emails we got a lot of emails about your prize task which was
basically you stealing everyone's partner um talk us through that for
someone who might not have seen that that task there's a little bit of a spoiler warning but
please talk us through your prize there oh yes I was actually I was quite proud of that task
it kind of just turned out how I thought but um so pretty much um it was the prize task was like best stolen item, I think, or
yeah, and, um, I decided to steal everyone's girl, like steal your girl.
And honestly, it was a, it was a lot of, it was a lot of time and money because
what I did was I actually took everyone's girlfriend or wife out and, um, I,
I genuinely dated them and, you know, I feel like I did, I won a lot more than points because, you know, like bonding
with these women was great.
But really it was just to rub it in anyone else's faces.
So like I stole the hearts of everyone's girlfriends.
And yeah, I kind of, it it was i managed to keep it secret from
everyone um they you know as much as like people's partners wanted to be supportive and make sure
that they you know they did well they were just all completely on board they're like yeah yeah
let's do it so it was um i just kind of revealed uh me on a date with every person's uh starting
with jeremy our taskmaster then i went no i went to paul then
i went to jeremy and then as everyone kept laughing i revealed that i went to their girl as well
um and even matt heath whose girlfriend was a blow-up sex doll um
it's a perfect moment really it is an absolute absolute, the blow up sex doll is absolutely ideal.
Yeah, yeah.
But yes, it was a lot of planning went into that.
But yeah, it was fun.
And I think one of my things was I spent,
and that was something from watching this,
maybe one note I would have about the prize task in this episode.
Not enough money spent on them. Yeah, people haven't spent enough time and money yeah spend as much money as you can as much
resource as possible if you really want to secure those points and i feel like you would know all
about that because i did just watch uh taskmaster uh season two champions of champions yes yeah a lot of time and money invested into
that yeah what a price task the thing is when you know how you've done in the other tasks you've
really got to invest quite a lot of time and money and if you think you've messed up the tape tasks
right i think yeah i genuinely think that was it i was like well I've got time to prep these I was like I'm gonna make them as good as possible yeah why not yeah um the I the only thing with that
stealing the girlfriends is I would have been so paranoid because if there's a lot of time between
getting the price test sorted and then going into the studio so paranoid that someone's
relationship ends in between oh yeah you know what i didn't actually think about that well good i just said
i you know and i you know i dated them hard to make sure that they wouldn't say anything so you
know i really wind and dine these lovely ladies um so it really it would be i mean it would kind
of be funnier i guess if one of them did break up so i'm like well you screwed it up yeah
if one of them did break up.
So I'm like, well, you screwed it up.
Yeah.
You've shown them how their partner should be treating them.
Yeah, I guess.
I guess they're just a little bit more interested in what I had to offer.
So let's talk about this.
You're right.
No one's gone all out.
No one's spent thousands of pounds on this.
Yeah.
Let's talk first of all about Tim vines tim is very good at prize
tasks like throughout this series he's been excellent but terrible at the other tasks really
bad it's all about the prize task and this i think it might be my favorite prize task of the series
he brings in his cat skeleton toast rack it's gorgeous um a little bit disturbing um like i'm a huge fan of cats but
yeah it's it's just it's it's disgusting it's yuck but it's practical
it's in the shape of a cat it just hits it's so funny it's so funny the reveal it just hits so
many things and i mean i never really look at like a toast rack the same way i don't i don't have a toast rack but i'm i stared at my cat afterwards and
i was like oh it reminds me of that remember that nyan cat where you had like bread in
between him do you remember that no oh look up nyan cat used to be a thing like maybe
like 10 12 years ago or something you would see how long he could yarn for it's a cat with a piece
of bread either side oh i think i actually do i think i actually do know i remember that now yeah
maybe that's where tim got his inspiration from you never know it's very creative and um yeah i
was i was real into it although i was trying to work out how the toast stays in the cat because
it goes on the obviously in the underside of the cat in the rib cage.
He might have had to butter the toast a little bit first.
So pre-buttered toast on the rack.
A little bit of texture or maybe glued it.
Could you turn the cat upside down for a more practical toast rack perhaps?
Even less respectful to the cat's corpse, I think.
Far less respectful.
It was the easy winner corpse, I think. Far less respectful. It was the easy winner here, I think.
I did enjoy Russell Howard's.
Russell had the cat snack,
which is lots of snacks built into the shape of the cat.
Yeah, it was creative, you know,
and there was a tale, I remember, out of lollies,
and that's kind of like, I don't know if you wouldn't be familiar
with the term lolly lay, but you know when you go to the islands and you get like a layer of flowers, something
we do here in New Zealand, uh, you know, if you're part Pacific Island, you know, Pacific
Islander or something where you graduate, you give someone a lolly lay.
So that's kind of what the tale reminded me of.
And it's just like a necklace made out of lollies.
So I kind of appreciated it, but there was no real structural integrity i think it
was being held up by a can which wasn't technically food so if we want to be picky also i am not i i
am not convinced russell had any hand in building that whatsoever he that was the first time he'd
seen that and he was talking people through it going oh yeah it's drooling there and you know
i did that with the dorito like clearly absolutely never seen that before in his life yeah
it definitely was like it's a cat snack but like cats wouldn't eat it right i guess it was designed
for humans to eat i think yeah you know it would have been like maybe you could make it out of cat
food yeah okay well yeah well that's gross i mean the idea of a cat built out of cat food is
horrifying but that's what you do you'd the idea of a cat built out of cat food is horrifying.
But that's what you'd do.
You'd buy thousands of dollars worth of cat food and make a massive cat.
Alice Levine, very lucky to get three points here.
A cat-sized pavlova.
It's just a pavlova.
Yeah, crazy.
I genuinely thought it was going to be in the shape of a cat.
Yeah.
Clearly, even just cut some bits out to make it in the shape of a cat. That's all you need to do. It's just a normal pavlova.
Or even put like a picture of a cat on the face. I will say though, frothed over this
a little bit. Did you know pavlova is like New Zealand's national dish?
Well, there you go.
It's like, it's our national dessert. I swear to God. Like, and there's a huge, there you go. It's like, it's our national dessert. I swear to God. And there's a huge thing between New Zealand and Australians
about who came up with the dessert first,
because this Russian ballerina.
And to you guys, it's probably just a dessert.
But to us, we see that and we're like, that's ours.
We came up with that.
But yeah, I was inspired by someone's tutu
see i i sort of see people from new zealand is pretty laid back very liberal you know not to but when it comes to pavlova that's when you really throw down right absolutely we're fierce
about the pavlova and yes there's two chefs one from new zealand one from australia that both
said they came up with it first and it's like it's it's a huge thing right well so as a pavlova expert I'll say that what how did this pavlova look
yes did this look like a good pavlova it looked um store-bought
so that's the other thing if you if you tried to make a pavlova
it always kind of sinks in the middle.
So usually the Pavlova that you try to recreate are like, they'll start like this.
And then by the time you serve it, it's like kind of like a flat meringue.
So that's quite Kiwi as well to like claim to desert, but not get it right.
Unless you buy it from the supermarket where they're tall and fluffy.
So she looked like she had something going on.
I don't know if she would have made it, maybe creamed it.
Maybe it was self-creamed, but store-bought meringue.
Yeah.
I mean, if she did make it, then she deserves the three points.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I don't think she made it.
I think she was quite, I think when she was asked if she made it,
she was stumbled over the answer.
So she absolutely didn't make that.
was asked if she made it she was pretty she was stumbled over the answer so she absolutely didn't make that um i felt bad for asim who who brought in the cat shaped pillow it was quite sweet
and he gave quite a sincere nice build-up to it um and then yeah greg had already decided it was
terrible and then it was it was two points it's the og facebook sticker right? Pusheen. Yeah, yeah, well he didn't know that.
Cat on a shirt over here.
Yeah exactly, you know about Pavlova, you know about internet cats.
Pusheen, yeah. Huge fan.
Yeah, I mean I think maybe Asim's built, he panicked and gave that sort of build up and
backstory to it. The barcode on it would suggest that it had been recently purchased and that this this little girl didn't exist yeah or the very least like you know
got grabbed out of one of those claw machines that's also what it kind of reminds me of
so maybe he did spend thousands of pounds on it maybe there was loads of money put into that claw
machine to try and get one absolutely they you know they they don't pick things up easily no
get one absolutely they you know they they don't pick things up easily no but all of these are five points if you compare them to lisa tarbuck's pile of shit she just brought in a pile of shit
i mean she still probably spent more money on it than russell so
again i feel the same about that as i do about the Pavlova. At least make the shit look like a cat.
Or like bring in cat shit.
I don't know.
Enough cat shit in the size of a ship.
I'm really good.
Keep on theme.
I mean, it's pretty funny.
It's really funny.
But the interesting thing is it's supposed to be pleasing. So she's saying that the pleasing thing is when you do a big basically um and i
get that but should the prizes represent something or should the prizes be actually something that
you can take away with you well yeah i don't know like because at the end if you win you get to like
you get to you do get to have the top and no one, the problem is sometimes no one wants the prices.
I remember on one of ours, um, there was like a price on the price task table.
There was a, um, a bottle of, I don't know how it got there, but there was a bottle
of petrol.
And I said to Matt Heath, one of the contestants, cause he had won that
episode, I said, I'll give you 50 bucks if you drink
it i just whispered it in his ear yeah just a joke because production had told us like don't eat the
prizes don't do anything like that yeah and i whispered it in his ear and he just took a massive
swig of it did you pay him i honestly can't remember. Poor guy.
It didn't work out well for him.
Actually, no, I think I did.
I think I did, and then I think he gave me the money back somehow.
But yeah, there you go.
No, fair enough.
Fair enough.
Yeah, it's that thing at the end, you just, if you're sat there and you think,
oh, I might win this episode, you are then thinking in the back of your mind, what hilarious thing am I going to do with the prizes at the end?
What am I going to do for that exit credit shot?
I don't actually remember what they did with the shit.
Yeah, I wasn't watching.
I wasn't watching to see if Alice
Levine ate the shit for 50 quid.
I would have paid her.
So
it was one point for Lisa,
two points for Asim, three points for Alice,
four points for Russell and a well deserveddeserved five points for Tim Vine.
Lisa.
You know when you get to a stage in your life
where you are suddenly quite interested in gut health?
Yeah.
So one of the things, the size of a cat,
that is going to give you a bag load of pleasure
is, frankly, a massive, massive stool.
Yeah. Please let it be a bar stool.
No.
No, it's this stool. Here it is.
Come on.
Now obviously that's not human, but it could be.
But you've got so much stuff left in your tummy
that if you actually did that,
I'm defying you not to feel pleasure all day
and perhaps a slight level of disbelief.
I mean, if I was carrying that round all day, Lisa...
You might be.
I'm going to feel jubilant when I get rid of it.
There you go.
Task one, make the biggest bubble and then burst it with your nose.
You have ten minutes. Your time starts now.
I would have panicked so much on this.
How are you with bubbles, Laura?
Oh, I'm quite a big fan of bubbles.
There's someone, every time I've come over to Edinburgh,
I've wanted to see Bubble Man.
Never been able to see him.
The one that all the kids go to.
And then I even remember once the other people from our show,
they were like, oh, we're going to go to a matinee of Bubble Man.
Bubble Man's doing two shows a day?
I know.
And he's in like one of the biggest venues as well.
Anyway, my dream to see Bubble Man and hopefully it'll come true this year.
I'll be able to see bubble man live i know
i'm a big fan of bubbles and i actually pause this task because this is something i like to do when i
watch taskmaster is i'll pause it before i see what everyone's done and i'll think about what
i would do like straight away and then see if anyone did the same thing so i paused it and hand
on heart my first instinct is run find a coat hanger make a huge bubble wand yes yeah so similar to what i would
have done really yeah i think i think that's the smartest way of doing it lisa has obviously seen
bubbles before you've seen you've not seen bubble man but you you know you're into bubbles no
coat hanger is the way coat hanger is the way to go of course i don't think i i'm not as in touch
with bubbles as you guys so i would
have i would have probably panicked in the same way as asim and tim did and just grabbed anything
round so for this task what qualifies as a bubble like what what's about it's difficult isn't it
because alice obviously thinks outside the box she's worried about overthinking it because she mentions the economic bubble,
but then she reduces her overthinking
to the black bin liner,
which I actually think is a good way
of thinking outside the box.
Is it a bubble though?
Were you not happy with that definition of the bubble?
I just, I honestly don't know.
The thing is she described it with so much conviction
that I was like, okay, yeah, sure.
Like, yeah, I guess that's a bubble she had a definition for it
it's like a membrane or something
and I was like I guess
and my gut instinct would say
no that's not a bubble, a bubble needs to be
blown and then popped
and maybe made out of
liquid but then when I saw
Russell grab the gum I was was like, yeah, bubble.
Yeah, bubble gum.
Yeah, exactly.
Bubble gum.
So I guess if a bag can be a bubble then,
but then it's like,
there's a beach ball a bubble then too.
That's a good point.
No, it's not a bubble, is it?
A hot air balloon's not a bubble, is it?
No, I guess it's in a bubble shape.
Yeah.
But it needs to like fully be closed in on itself.
I feel,
but then that is also just a ball.
Yeah,
I do.
I mean,
I do agree with you,
but I appreciated that someone did something different,
you know,
and I like that.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So try to do bubble gum,
but I don't think
he'd ever heard of bubble gum he was asking for chewing gum all the way through and then looked
surprised when alex said it was chewing gum not bubble gum you can't do that with chewing gum you
certainly can't do it with a whole roll of chewing gum no no and that's i because i remember making
that mistake when i was younger and as i saw him just stuff more and more in his gob, I was like, oh, that ain't going to blow a bubble, babe.
Well, we're all saying that.
All over the nation, we're all saying that ain't going to blow a bubble, babe.
But just to watch him try,
the sheer joy you get out of watching that disgusting cum come out of his mouth.
I honestly thought a bit of vomit was going to come out at one point utterly utterly gross just this huge sort of white almost an extra tongue coming out of his
mouth it was absolutely foul yeah there was a bit of a gag reflex going like it was going to
really just deep throat that gum yeah um he finds another way in the end uh of course uh he manages to do just
a normal bubble uh but he gets alex to do it i think you if you can't get alex to do everything
it's not fair it's it's interesting because they say yes like i feel like your assistant says yes
to some people no to others so it's just really up to what they, however they're feeling in the moment,
you just got to be cool with it.
Yeah.
I feel like Paul is almost more unpredictable
because he's so laid back and so sort of quiet
that you never know when he's going to say yes.
But then also when he says no,
he actually has an authority.
Yeah.
Oh God, he's annoying.
He's also one of my very good friends like we uh we like regularly we play board games every sunday type vibe whenever he's in the country and um yeah so
you think that would like put you on a bit of a level of understanding and no no it doesn't
um and we were like well we obviously don't know the thing for that yet we need to find
the code to get it out and get the key out and he wandered off and we were trying to do something
else and he just walked over and he had he'd opened it he went i did this well how did you
do it paul he went i don't know so he's obviously smart but he will not reveal how he is smart or
why and how he did any of these things.
He's a man of mystery.
And even when you try to find out details about other seasons of Taskmaster, he won't say anything.
He's a lockbox, man.
I've done an escape room with him, too.
I've done a few.
And with Rose, as well.
We all did one together.
Yeah.
And just watching them go.
as well we all did one together yeah yeah it was um and just watching them go like you know sometimes you i'm quite active in escape rooms but you can just take a you can take a break and
let them figure it out if you want yeah i mean but with rose and you've got to get out of rose's
way in an escape room yeah that's it she's a tornado so let's I mean Russell eventually did the bubble I mean Tim and Asim were I mean Greg says it
they're like kids in there they're just running around just the glee on Tim's face when he pops
a bubble with his nose it's so great he's about four yeah there's something to be said as well
with tasks like that they seem so simple and then it's one of those things that you said you just sometimes with even the simplest things you just panic so
much in the moment and i think it's like it's key words like biggest bubble you're like oh god how
am i going to get this bubble really big because everyone can well i don't know if everyone can
blow a bubble but you know i mean it's even that thing of in your head you're like well obviously
i'll blow a massive bubble and then pop it in my nose but it's the really frustrating thing when you see it practically that you blow
the bubble it sort of floats away from you a little bit then you have to run with with your
nose and try and pop the bubble and by the time you get there it's probably gone and that would
have sent me insane because it's quite a short time limit on this task as well wasn't there
yes it was it was uh 10 minutes 10 minutes, which is not long enough.
Not enough time.
Not enough time to do anything.
Lisa is, I mean, as always, pretty chilled out.
And if she can't be bothered to do something, she doesn't do it.
So she gets an eight-inch bubble.
Bang, she's done.
She's great.
She kind of nails it.
She does.
It looked like she was about to run out of time there,
but she had the right idea.
She committed.
She's calm.
She got there.
That's what you need.
And we've discussed Alice.
50 centimetres for her.
Is it a bubble?
We don't know, but it was classed as a bubble on the show.
I was glad she did something different.
So it was five points for Alice,
and I enjoyed the pin nose as well.
That was a smart thing, taping the pin nose as well. That was a smart thing,
taping the pin to the nose.
That was hilarious.
Four points for Lisa,
three points for Asim,
two points for Tim,
one point for Russell
and his disgusting big old tongue.
For the first time in this show,
in all the episodes we've done,
Tim Vine swore during that.
The worst thing that Tim Vine has said in nine episodes
is fiddlesticks.
Couldn't see it because people were gasping at the time,
but we have the replay of you cursing at a bubble.
Do you want to hear him? Yeah, go on.
It's not nice.
Son of a bitch.
Oh!
Tim!
Very American,
as long as son of a bitch.
I've done it again now.
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Task two, team task.
Perform a scene from Taskmaster the musical.
Best scene wins.
You have one hour
your time starts now this is the one i absolutely hate and i'm sorry i hate it so much because i
think the disrespect shown towards musicals is unacceptable by everyone you know what i agree
with you i agree with you i was if i had got this task i would that would be one i'd be so
excited about i've yeah i love musicals and i was a bit disappointed and you know because you guys
have the west end right there you should be you know educated in musicals yeah i completely agree
and i think everyone shows a disrespect towards musicals in the studio and in the way they perform the task.
They have one hour.
They have one hour and both of them could have done that in two minutes.
Their songs are so bad.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
I couldn't agree more.
What was the first one?
Was it like, task master, task to be done?
Something like that.
And then it didn't make any sense.
So, I mean, the song was fine. I mean, they mean they had at least you know it felt maybe like a terrible musical like it felt like
it could be in a musical and uh but the story the task was a kid finding his mom and a mum
that's not what happens in taskmaster yes well i think sometimes when people like try to write
songs or even you know comedy songs they forget i think they're just
like everything needs to rhyme it doesn't necessarily need to rhyme it needs to make
some sort of sense yeah i mean i feel like this this is the sort of thing that i would have loved
to have seen your your team have a go at um because obviously the the diss tracker legendary
uh taskmaster new zealand moment
and also you're you're incredibly you're incredibly musical you're in a comedy musical
double act with joseph two hearts one of my absolute favorite shows i've ever seen in edinburgh
and i can't wait to see you again uh this year um so to see you guys tackle that would have been a
joy but asim liza and Tim and Russell and Alice both of them
just let's talk about Russell and Alice they've never seen a musical
you know you can't put the words Taskmaster the musical in a song no I don't know if any musical
has the like the name of the musical in the song i guess okay i stand corrected greece
greece has that but yeah but they don't go greece greece they don't say greece the musical
or they don't greece the musical greece the musical greece the musical
what would you have wanted to see from this, like, musical task to, like,
you know, like, what would you have put in it?
Well, I would have put, you know,
I think Tim tried to do it, but, you know,
actual characters, you know,
someone playing Alex, someone playing Greg,
someone playing maybe the other team,
and, you know, an actual scene of something
happening, you know, a bit of a
build-up, a bit of a story, a bit of a narrative,
something like that. Not just screaming Taskmaster the musical with a tie wrapped around your head
honestly making up musical songs just is one of my favorite things to do like that for for a for
like you know stage musical production i think uh maybe what it was missing for me was like, you know, musicals have an I want song.
So your character needs to want something.
So I think it, you know, it would have been like,
if I was to do it, it would be like, how do I please him?
How do I complete this task?
It's already so much better than both of those.
Five points is all I ask, you know.
Do I have to show my ass?
Right, this is amazing.
Already.
And that's with the slightest bit of effort from you.
And they've just written, they've clearly written
Taskmaster the Musical at the top of a sheet and gone,
well, that's the first lyric and the title sorted.
clearly written Taskmaster the Musical at the top of a sheet and gone well that's the first lyric and the title sorted honestly it's it's legendary it's legendary in our house that that thing
because if I my wife hates that bit as well the Taskmaster the Musical bit and I can walk around
the house and go Taskmaster the Musical and she gets really angry Taskmaster the Musical
honestly if there ever was a Taskmaster the Musical,
that song kind of like has to be in it now.
Yeah.
Well, it's the opener, isn't it, really?
Yeah.
Taskmaster the Musical
I mean, it's nought points all round for me.
What did they end up scoring?
They got a three and a two? Yeah, it was three and a two, from me. What did they end up scoring? A ton.
Yeah, it was three and a two, but
Tess Merz did the musical, got the
three.
It's not a scene
from a musical.
There was an interesting use of
shots there, and little
Alex Horne was in it, so, you know, that probably
lifted them up a bar
yeah maybe i just just oh awful really mate really makes me still is that your most hated task of all
of all time it's not the most hated task it's the most it's my most hated interpretation of the
tasks i think both of them really phoned it in. And yeah, especially Russell and Alice, who I love on Taskmaster and individually,
but this is an absolute crime.
When I saw this task, I said to two people
who worked on our version of the show,
I said, man, I wish we had have gotten a task like that.
And they were like, fuck you.
Oh, sorry, I don't know if we're allowed to swear on this.
Oh, yeah.
You go for it. Oh, sorry. I don't know if we're allowed to swear on this. Oh yeah. You go for it. That's very funny. They were like, we worked really hard to give you musical tasks. And I was like, yeah,
they were great. They were great. They were great. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Can I just do a quick shout out to Sam Smith? Because I know he's, he's, I know he's listening
right now and he, he works very hard on the musical side of it. Huge Taskmaster Stan.
Huge.
And creator of the task here
okay yeah fine i mean yeah not not that sam smith that would be amazing if you've got
sounds like a pop megastar creating the musical the musical task on taskmaster new zealand well
done i know it was a hard get but you, you know, sometimes you've got to fly people in.
Get the people that you really need.
One, two, three, four.
Taskmaster the musical.
Taskmaster the musical.
Happy people in the house making us do weird shit.
Is it any wonder that it's Dave's biggest hit?
Taskmaster the Musical
Task 3
Part 1 of Task 3 is for Tim only
Make an outfit of things bought in this stationery shop
You have 10 minutes and 50 pounds to do your shopping
And 20 minutes to make your outfit
Your time starts now
And then of course part 2 for everyone else
Was guess the pun Tim created to make your outfit your time starts now and then of course part two for everyone else was guess the pun tim created to describe his outfit i like that i like this because i love a task
that's for one person only and they find out on the day but it's also quite a nice gentle version
of that it doesn't feel like bullying no yeah it was really nice but you can always tell it's about
to come because everyone like does a side eye in the seat. You're like, ooh.
This one, I think I watched this task like four times over the years.
And I still forgot what the pun was at the end.
When I rewatched it last night.
Yeah. Yeah, because train stationery seems like the most,
the clearest one to do.
I think, yeah, I think I went for stationery master
or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which is very similar, you know.
Yeah, train stationery is.
Even Tim's forgotten as well.
If you listen to him, he's going,
well, I could have said that.
He's got absolutely no idea what he said at the end of that that's kind of the beauty of the show right is because they
put you through all this trauma and and then watching you all re-watch it and relive it in
the moment is um it's such a delight you just genuinely forget what you have done sometimes
like when a task comes up I'm like what was that what happened um The pun was of course tracksuit
which is a better
pun. I mean you've got to rely on Tim Vine
to find the more interesting
side of puns. It's the guy's job
and that was a wonderful
joke. But he
gets two points
and no one else gets any because they don't correctly
guess it. Comfortable?
Yeah.
Tim, can I ask you,
is there any reason why you're covered in trains?
It's a tracksuit.
It's a tracksuit.
Very good.
Thank you.
That was beautiful.
Very good.
Two lovely bonus points for you, Tim.
Let's move on to task four,
which Tim Vine is the star of again.
It's a good episode for Tim.
Make this plastic bag as heavy as possible.
You have 10 minutes at the end of which the bag must hang unassisted on the scales
for at least one minute.
Heaviest bag at the end of that minute wins.
Your time starts now.
Let's just talk about it it's a magic
it's a magic moment tim losing the hook wow this is the beauty of the show right yeah it's the
moment she just couldn't you couldn't script the accidents that happened on the show that end up
being just so beautiful i was so funny it's so funny watching him look for the hook it's it's
the perfect person for it to happen to as well if it was anyone else it wouldn't be as funny because
he's in a safari suit like pombling around trying to work out where a hook is while it's clearly to
the viewer hung on his shirt now i appreciate a good outfit on Taskmaster as well and I appreciate you know I think he's probably out of everyone the fashion king of season six.
For sure.
So I respect that respect his task outfit respect his in studio whatever was going on there.
Yeah.
Some sort of effort at a statement though.
The guy's a snappy dresser.
He's a snappy dresser.
Just having like a hook. like yeah that's it's so unlucky and to actually see when it drops up when it drops off and bounces and
then just perfectly just swings around almost making no movement down it's just like just
straight in as if it's been made to do that incredible i think the re yeah the replay makes
it because i didn't see it happen at first and i
thought he must have just been like because i would often like i'm queen at like not having a
handbag or something and i'll just put things under my shoulder or like you know in a pocket
or like i'll hook it onto like random places yeah and i thought oh he must have you know he's got
like lots of pockets and buckles and stuff he must have just hooked it on there himself but yeah the reveal
that it had actually fallen in the perfect position was just just a beautiful magical moment
i think you're right i think i'd assumed he'd gone right i'll put this to one side or just hook it on
there and then get on with it and then he'd forgotten he'd added like a no offense to him
at a senior moment uh but the fact that it had actually happened by accident is incredible it it reminded
me of in series nine which was a series i was on in the first episode we all had to hide uh aubergines
from alex and he had to look for them and david baddiel did a terrible job and one of the aubergines
he sellotaped to the portrait of greg and alex came in saw the aubergine pointed at it and as
soon as he pointed at it it the aubergine fell
off the portrait and it's just one of those moments where it's clearly just ridiculous
chance but it just looks magic i mean yeah that's the that's the beauty of the show what would what
would you i'm curious what would you have done in this bag situation i like to think that i would have thought about
the water but realistically i think i only thought about the water because i saw alice and lisa do
the water um right i think i would have i think i would have asked him and just got a bowling ball
and then but he puts in things like the flower pots and plastic lobsters and things that don't
weigh anything it's mad yeah or things with too many
angles that are gonna like make a little hole yes he his bag stayed together didn't it intact
yeah it did i mean he got 16 kilos in there uh russell puts a football in which is like he's
trying to take space up with with very little weight i don't know he's done he's doing the
opposite of what he should be doing yeah those, those boys didn't think it through.
Tim didn't have a chance to think it through because he was looking for the hook for 15 minutes.
And it's Alice and Lisa who've thought about the water.
What would you have done?
Do you think you would have landed on the water idea?
I think I saw like the flower around
and I think I maybe would have thought of like
just emptying flower and flower and flower
until I filled up every bit of space.
But what I would often do is I would go one way and then as I was doing it, I would
think about something else and then I would change tact. And so I think my second thought, which I
usually ended up going with was, um, uh, I would, I don't know if this would be allowed, but I guess
you just have to try it as I would rip the bag up.
I would plait it till it made like a stronger rope.
Yeah.
And then I would hook it to the bucket and then tie it to the hook type vibe.
So the bag is still holding there unassisted.
Yeah.
But it's holding more things because if you like plastic bags, like from doing wearable arts and stuff, if you pl's actually quite strong yeah so i think that's what i would do um that's why that's why
you're a champion that's why you're a champion you're thinking outside the box you're using your
skills brilliant no i would have just bunged a bowling ball in there and crossed my fingers
tim of course gets one point but he wins he takes the moral victory in this episode because it was so funny
two points for Russell, three points for
Asim, four points for Alice
and five points for Lisa
and Bosh, she says Bosh in this
now in the next series
series seven, Kerry Godliman becomes known
as the Bosh Queen, she says Bosh quite a lot
Kerry's going to be very angry to find out
that unfortunately someone else took
her catchphrase before she got to it sorry kerry if you're listening not original
two very different approaches alice's was sort of you sort of made it a spa experience for yourself
yes it was pleasing wasn't it it seemed to me like it was just oh isn't this yes lovely and
i heard some members of the audience go i wish i could cup that bag of water start contrast lisa tarbert get a bucket smash it into a piss gag
let's talk about the live task pick up as many points as possible all the points are on different
balls obviously the person holding the most points after 100 seconds wins. Very interesting to see quite a lot of people start popping things straight away,
trying to pop an exercise ball and pop the balloons just to pick up more.
That's smart.
Is that what you would have done?
I think I would have tried to tear the beach ball and then like use it as a bag to like,
because they said you can't enclose them, but they didn't say about the ball,
you know, because then I guess if you're holding a ball,
you stuff it with more balls inside it.
Right.
It's such a, would you have plaited the ball perhaps?
No.
Do you know what?
Hand on heart, I think I would have got zero points for that
because I wasn't
quite listening to the first bit of the task and i and i was like even out loud i had to
go replay the task i was like why don't you just pick up the pool yeah yeah you would have done
that straight away very clearly yeah oh i would have loved that if you were doing that and you
just pick up the pool straight away just like smugly holding it until the end of the time.
Nailed it.
Alice, I think, has the right idea.
Yeah, I think Alice does very well.
And obviously Russell does very well.
This is where Russell really, really shines in tasks like this,
where it's a straight ahead, like physical thing that he needs to do
and it's competitive and he just grabs it and gets on with it.
And it's the five points easily for him.
Wasn't he shoving more balls in his mouth?
In his mouth, yeah.
He popped the balls in his mouth.
He wanted those points.
Big episode for Russell in his mouth.
Big episode.
For Russell shoving as much as he can in his mouth
his mouth really made a comeback right at the end
it let itself down earlier
and Lisa really boils
down her personality on Taskmaster
you just hear her say under her breath going I'm not picking up anymore
I can't be arsed
we stand when she's a queen
so that's the end of that episode
and the
winner of that episode is Alice Levine
then Tim with 16 points, so close
Russell with 15, 14 for Lisa
and another bottom place for Asim
his chances of winning an episode
slipping through his fingers
and Lisa firmly in the lead now
171 points to Tim's
162.
We have some emails here for you, Laura.
We asked for some emails.
They came flooding in.
Like I say, we had a lot about the stealing everyone's girl.
So I won't ask any of those.
I think we've covered it.
This is from Paul in Plymouth.
He says, do you still live with the guilt of betraying your friends in the balloon task?
Yeah, I think I've since gotten over it. Like, I think honestly in the, um, in the studio, I even think reliving it and reliving it in the moment, I genuinely got a bit teary because I think I remember
like Guy and David both going no.
And they both, they both pulled the fingers at me and they're like, fuck you.
And I remember being like're like, fuck you.
And like, you like, you know, it's a joke, but at the same time I was like,
I found it a bit hard to swallow. So yeah, I think the trauma hung with me for a bit, but, um, you know, when I
thought about it and I thought about it afterwards, just like both of them,
they would have, they would have done it.
They would have absolutely sabotaged
and they would have gone maybe even harder than what I did.
Well, this is the thing.
I think they both would have done it
and they would have done it gleefully,
but they both would have fucked it up in different ways.
Yeah.
You are the only one who could manage to do it
and get away with it.
David, I don't know what he would,
just got butt naked and just got in the car
and driven it away.
And Guy would have messed it up somehow, you know?
Guy would have done something too weird.
So, right.
Well, David messed up the normal,
like he was trying and he,
I think he got in less balloons than I did.
And I was trying to sabotage it
because he just took off for a bit
and it worked well in my favor.
Yeah.
But, and that's the other thing I didn't count on is that the other team were just going
to be so shit at it.
Yeah.
So we ended up scoring higher than them anyway.
But yeah, I, I also think, oh, what happened in the moment?
That's right.
I, um, as I was, I faked rolling my ankle a bit.
I did give it like a slight, I did a slight stumble.
And then I used that as an excuse that I was very slow.
We had to like move balloons from a caravan into a car and stuff as many in as we can.
And I just kept like limping.
I was like, oh guys, I rolled my ankle.
That's my drama school degree coming in handy there.
And what happened was afterwards, I, um, once the task was over, I think the thing
that like made me sick to my stomach about it was that I had to then keep it a secret
from these guys and we'd already like done kind of badly on like, we'd had a regroup
just before we started this task.
And like, as a team, we were like, okay, guys, we're just going to make sure we've got really clear communication
because we didn't do so well on that last team task.
And I was sitting there knowing that I had to sabotage them,
being like, yep, yep, yep.
And then I had to hide it from them for another few months
until we got to the studio.
So I had to just pretend that I was just, you know,
shit at the task and just keep it a secret.
Whereas I, all I wanted to be was like, guys, guys, they made me do it. And then we had
a health and yeah, we had a health and safety person chase after me on set. And I was in
the hallway right next to David Krauss. And he goes, Hey, sorry, I just need to check
that your ankle's okay. Cause it was at a serious roll. Do we need to fill out an incident report?
And I said, oh, no, no, no, I was faking it.
Then I saw David was there.
I was like, oh.
And he didn't pick up on it.
He didn't twig.
That's absolutely amazing.
It's an absolute stroke of genius, that task.
It really is.
I love it.
This is a very specific New Zealandaland question let's hear this this
is from dan uh hello ed and laura there have been a few cast members yourself included laura from
funny girls that have featured on taskmaster nz and rose competed against ed in the uk series
are there any other cast members from funny girls who you would like to see on taskmaster
in the future excluding those already announced for the new NZ series?
Ooh, okay.
Who else?
Oh, I mean, I'd love to see... She wasn't on screen as much,
but she was one of the writers on the show, Alice Sneddon.
So she could quite feasibly do the uk version as well
she's based in the uk quite a lot so you know i would be fascinated fascinated to see snedden's
approach i know she's so deadpan it would be real i honestly because i think should be the perfect
combination between competitive doesn't give, so can't be bothered.
You know, it should just be like, she'd land somewhere in between.
I just, I think she'd be quite unpredictable with how she would do in the task.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's such a good shout.
She'd be brilliant.
Because she's quite, yeah, she's quite like an alpha type energy.
I just think she'd be, yeah.
It should be very interesting.
Very, very, very good shout.
Very good shout.
Now, I didn't know, genuinely didn't know this until today,
that Taskmaster New Zealand Series 3 has been announced.
The lineup's been announced.
Yes.
I mean, I'll be honest. I only really know two of the panellists.
I know Chris Parker and I know Paul Ego from Seven Days, yes,
from the panel show Seven Days.
So for UK listeners to this podcast,
that's sort of the equivalent of having Hugh Dennis on
because Paul is like regular captain on a topical panel show, right?
Yes, yes, correct.
I'm actually, so currently i've been touring around the country uh with three of the taskmaster cast uh with paul ego josh thompson and justine
smith um and we're because we've been touring for seven days uh the live show so we'll go perform
like stand-up sets and then then the panel show at all these different
theaters around the country and it is very interesting being in the van every time Taskmaster
comes up I'm like what happened?
So it's Chris Parker, Josh Thompson, Justine Smith, Kura Forrester and Paul Ego and you know
I'm always very excited to see some new stuff.
So do you have any predictions
as to who's going to do well?
Who's going to be terrible?
I've got, yeah, I've got a few feelings.
I've got a few vibes.
I think Chris,
because Chris is one of my very close friends
and I feel like he's just going to be,
he'll be one of those people
that is very extra on everything.
So I think he'll go really hard out in every single task.
Um, Josh Thompson will be one to watch.
Um, Josh, he's, uh, he is mainly comes from an acting background here.
Uh, but he does a lot of comedy as well.
Uh, does lots of panel shows in here in Australia.
He, I did, end of last year, I did Celebrity Bake Off with him.
Amazing.
And he kind of, he has this chaotic energy about him that is almost similar to David Krauss.
So he's a real wild card, but I think sometimes you don't realise he's put a lot of thought
and a lot of prep into everything.
So I remember he seemed so hectic behind me in the Bake Off Challenge.
And then I turned around and what he had created was the most amazing work of art I'd ever seen.
And I was like, oh, he's been practicing for months.
Okay.
So he's got quite a competitive spirit as well.
He's a complete wild card, but I think he'll be really good. And then Justine a competitive spirit as well he's like a complete
wild card but i i think he'll be really good and then justine smith is also just she's just a boss
badass but i i feel like she'll be a little bit similar in the in the vein of um ah this is how
the task is done it's like black and white yeah great you need all those energies that's perfect
yeah yeah um and paul from the from the short time i spent with
him is just a bit of a silly billy really isn't he he'll just do absolutely he's so silly around
yeah yeah yeah that's great and could it could is great as well i've worked with her a lot and i i
don't know what she'll be like on the Taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests
on the Taskmaster podcast to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the
style of the Taskmaster uh you of course are used to a different style of Taskmaster in New Zealand
I feel like he's kinder Jeremy uh but uh feel free to give give your points honestly
have you enjoyed yourself on the podcast and if so what point rating would you give it
I have uh yeah I really have enjoyed my time on the podcast and just because like I I feel like
I vibe you I understand what it means to you I've either got to go one way, I've got to give you a one or a five,
and I am...
If I rated you anything else, I think...
Yeah, correct.
You would not be happy with that.
And I'm going to give you the full five points, Ed.
Yes! Thank you very much, Laura.
Appreciate that. Thank you.
Because as we all know,
I genuinely wouldn't have been happy with the one either.
Thank you very much for coming on the podcast we're looking forward to seeing two hearts at the
edinburgh festival uh i yes i'm i'm coming the first night i'm there i think oh oh that would
be so lovely that yes please anyone that is there please come watch that would be great
we're very excited to come back over and also you're doing some preview shows for it in the UK.
If people can't make it to Edinburgh,
there's one at the Pleasance on the 22nd of July, 7.30,
and then one on the 25th of July in Brighton at the Comedia at 7.30 as well.
So make sure you go and watch those, everyone,
and the Edinburgh run itself.
It's Two Hearts, We're Pregnant and the Baby is Music.
Amazing title. for the full
month uh 10 to 9 at the assembly george square the blue room thank you very much laura and i'll
see you in edinburgh yes yes you will good goodbye goodbye there we go another great episode thank
you very much to Laura for coming in.
She didn't come in, actually.
She did it from New Zealand, and I'm in my house as well.
I've got a terrible cold, and you could really hear that get going
about halfway through the episode,
so apologies that you had to listen to my blocked old schnoz.
We will be back next week to talk about Taskmaster Series 6, Episode 10,
the final episode of Series 6.
We've had a wonderful time chatting about it, but it
must come to an end soon.
Let's remind ourselves.
Two hearts, we're pregnant and the baby is music.
Go and see it at the Fringe. Go and see
it in London. Go and see it in Brighton.
So many places to see it.
Laura and Joseph are fantastic.
Well worth watching.
Keep an eye out for Taskmaster New Zealand Series 3 as well.
I think that should start quite soon.
And do go and watch old episodes of Taskmaster New Zealand.
I don't know how.
Thanks again.
We'll see you next week.
Goodbye. We can wait for clean water solutions.
Or we can engineer access to clean water.
We can acknowledge indigenous cultures.
Or we can learn from indigenous voices.
We can demand more from the earth.
Or we can demand more from ourselves.
We can demand more from the earth.
Or we can demand more from ourselves.
At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.
Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.