Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 91. Phil Wang - S7 Ep.3
Episode Date: August 11, 2022This week Ed is joined by comedian, podcaster and series 7 alumni, Phil Wang! Yes that's right, Phil has returned to the podcast to discuss his time on the show and in particular what went down in epi...sode 3! There's costume chat, there's a not very excited Alex, and best of all, there's a very good sound... enjoy! Book tickets to Phil's tour here: https://www.philwang.co.uk/ Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode
where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,
how a cannabis company competes
with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated
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interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.
Ed Gamble here.
Thanks for coming back and listening again to the Taskmaster podcast.
We are going to be talking about Series 7, Episode 3.
It's another great episode from a wonderful series.
And today we'll be chatting to Phil Wang
a star of series seven of Taskmaster it's a great episode to talk to Phil about it features one of
his crowning moments in my opinion his best noise so looking forward to chatting to Phil
if you're a Phil fan a Wang fan which of you are, there's plenty of opportunities to go and see Phil do stand-up.
He is one of the absolute best.
Highly recommended that you go and see him if you can.
He's doing the Edinburgh Festival from the 15th of August.
He's doing a week.
I suspect that might be sold out,
but do go and check on the Assembly website.
He's doing the Gordon Aikman Theatre.
I know that because I'm doing that the week before him.
He's brilliant.
But if you can't make one of those shows,
he is on tour next year from March 2023.
His show, Wang In There Baby,
is going all over the UK.
So look at Phil's website for more details of that.
Also, listen to his podcast with Piero Novelli, Bud Pod.
Let's stop talking about the man behind his back
and actually chat to him.
This is Taskmaster Series 7, Episode 3,
as discussed by Phil Wang.
Welcome back to the Taskmaster podcast, Phil Wang.
Hello, Ed Gamble.
What a treat.
How's it going?
Yeah, pretty well, man.
How's it going with you?
Oh, superb.
Superb.
We can't wait to chat about this episode.
It's a monumentous episode.
It's a historic episode.
It is a historic episode.
We've obviously not spoken to you about Series 7 properly yet.
We mentioned it when we chatted about an episode in Series 4
when you were last on the podcast but we've not had a chance to directly ask you about these tasks
in particular i mean there's a lot of class there's a lot of classic wang in here i'd say
there is yes there are a couple of them there have been a few moments throughout the series
that people still mention to me now yes like when people come and say hi after shows and
stuff and this has oh this has at least one of them yeah i'd say this oh no this is two there's
three things that people ask you about a lot um it's your penis your left testicle and your right
testicle yeah i think that's episodes two five and six they individually come up
we talked about the outfit a lot last time when you were on uh it's obviously it's obviously
going to come up um it's that moment when the team arrives which is the best in episode two
the first team task when rod and james arrive and
immediately start mentioning your genitals and there is a look on your face as if to suggest
no one else has mentioned this so far i've been absolutely screwed over by the crew
would that be a correct assumption yeah yeah yeah that up to that point the crew had only ever
quietly smirked um were you aware of where the smirk was coming from?
A little bit, but I didn't realise just how egregious it was.
And the thing about those group tasks is
they were filmed really, really late on in the process.
So I'd done most of the tasks on my own already.
So late. It's far too late.
So late.
The first day I find out that what I'm wearing is maybe inappropriate, is that James and Rod walk over to me on the first day of group tasks, and they just look at me and go, what the fuck are you wearing?
And from that point onwards, you can actually see in a lot of the shots in the group tasks, I'm covering myself.
on was you can actually see in a lot of the shots in the group tasks i'm like covering myself you like you're like pulling at the front of the costume to try and sort of release it from
being around your crotch it's so funny i mean it's it's also devastating i can't imagine being
in that position i'd probably cry ah well yeah when you find yourself in that position it's too
late you just have to go along with it that's that's a wonderful philosophical outlook. Thank you.
There is one moment in this episode
I think it's the first
time, it's in the first task
and I'm
sat down in a way that just has
my whole package
hanging out.
Fortunately not very much detail
but just like a single
it's like I've got a softball just stuffed in there.
I mean, it's there.
It's there.
In a way, it's been quite a good advertisement for my virility.
Yes, absolutely.
It's not a small bump, I have to say.
It's not a small bump.
It's a wonderful shop window.
That in particular when they because it what really makes me laugh is obviously like there's a huge laugh at the beginning of that first task because
you're sat down and we see it in a whole new light but then also it's a new studio audience
so you can hear the new studio audience in every episode see your costume for the first time because obviously they'd not seen the previous episode.
So they're all experiencing it for the first time every week,
which is great fun to listen to.
It's a fresh bulge week on week.
I would say, tell me if I'm wrong,
in the studio, this is the third episode,
I would say this is the first time we see some hope leave your eyes
about winning.
Because the first two, you're very fresh.
You're like, bang, bang, bang.
You win the first prize task,
I think, possibly.
And you're
like right here we go task master and episode three i'm starting you're starting to catch on
that it might not go as well as you'd hoped and you know what the working theory is as to why it's
episode three that this happens is is because i bring myself as the prize task. Something from the 90s, born in 1990,
marking me out as not only the youngest person on the series,
but younger than Greg Davies had thought.
Right, okay.
And Greg Davies was annoyed at how young...
He said this, he has said this,
that he was annoyed at finding out how young I was.
And from that point onwards,
decided to punish me for my youth.
Because he saw my bulge and thought,
that is the bulge of a grown ass man.
And when he found out I was...
That guy is 40, minimum.
And we saw just how young I was.
Young and virile.
He got, I don't know, he just got enraged with jealousy
and so from that point out he and there's actually a moment in this episode where he just goes
fill one point with no explanation as to why yeah yeah he definitely uh he it definitely does get
get on his nerves when people are young. And that is a good working theory.
Let's talk about the prize task
because it's the best thing from the 90s, as you said.
You brought yourself in.
I want to talk about this now
because this is something that runs to this day.
The fact that James Acaster won this episode
and he won you as a prize.
Yeah.
Because James' nephews have started watching taskmaster they're obsessed
with taskmaster they like the rules of taskmaster and he has managed to convince them that he still
owns you as the prize that's correct that's right and it's now a running thing with uh
james's nephews and so whenever james and i are together, we'll try and take a photo, reenact
me like running away from him or hiding. And they'll text James going, catch him, catch him.
He's meant to be yours. So like we were just in Montreal. And, and I James was like, we've got
to take a picture by a Canadian flag so So they positioned me in front of a Canadian flag
and I make a sort of hiding, running gesture.
And he sent his nephews a photo and they're like,
oh my God, get him, get him.
Because they're right, he's meant to be at your house.
There's been a whole story, hasn't there?
Because you're at his house
because I think he took a picture of you in the cupboard.
And then I think you escaped for a while, right?
So he's been trying to track you down
and they're so into it.
I think they get quite, in quite a young boy way,
get quite like, you track him down and kill him.
Like really.
Yeah, they sometimes go a bit far.
Yeah.
I'm a bit afraid of them.
I'm a bit scared of them.
Yeah, if they ever meet you in real life,
you're in real trouble, mate.
Look, I thought it was, it's a great prize. real life you're in real trouble mate I thought look I thought
it was
it's a great prize
I think you're a
wonderful guy Phil
thank you
and really funny
the photo of you
to represent you
is from
the exact same day
in the studio
really made me laugh
didn't even pick
a picture of you
as a baby
I think that would
be the way
that most people
would go
yeah just a photo
of me in the same shirt sat people would go yeah just a photo of me in
the same shirt sat in the same place just smiling at camera that's brilliant um and crucially for
this i mean jess makes the point that uh all the prizes are quite bad crucially at least you're
from the 1990s right yeah that's right she can she can talk i mean she brings in the book i mean timmy mallet
a great thing from the 90s so just bring in something else that represents timmy mallet
you know you could have brought in a mallet's mallet and said that was a 90s thing to bring
in a book which books famously have a year in them as to when they were published first thing
you check surely is that it was published in the 90s 1989 disqualified and quite rightly
yeah you think you checked that first page there aren't many price tasks that literally have the
date printed on them yeah it's so easy to check um rod didn't care obviously i mean he brought in
i mean this is the first appearance of this photo and it is certainly not the last uh a photo of greg wearing nothing but his underpants um which was taken in 2010 so he couldn't have given
a shit by the tune of 20 years i also hadn't realized um because i've not actually watched
i can't i don't i can't watch myself really so if genuinely not, is this the first time you've watched this episode back?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I,
I,
I,
I,
I find,
I find,
I find myself really hard to watch back.
A lot.
Also mainly because of the bowl,
just like,
do I want to see this?
Um,
so this first time I've watched this episode back and,
um,
a,
it's,
it's really funny.
I had a great time.
Um,
B there's much less explanation for that photograph that made the edit.
In the studio, there's a whole explanation
about where that was, why that happened.
Without that context, it's so weird
that Rob Gilbert has a photo of Greg Davis.
What is the context?
The context is, I think they were at the Fringe together,
Edinburgh Fringe together, and they're sharing a flat,
and they were just messing about.
Okay, I guess that doesn't actually make anything less weird.
That makes it weirder, I'd say.
Because I thought it was going to be from one of Greg's photo shoots
or something, one of his topless photo shoots
that he puts on his posters.
But no, you're saying the context is they were sharing a flat and they just started messing about yeah no that is weird
but it is it's the first appearance of this uh of this photo i mean it's so funny to put it in
with the spy skills just the just putting it on its end so to try and make him look like he's
standing up is so funny um but a well-deserved nought points, I think, as well.
Because he didn't even try.
Yeah.
And then, well, this is actually when Greg already tried to start screwing me over.
And then he tried to give me one point.
Even though two people are a complete zero.
Yeah, that's unfair.
It took Alex to remind him that that was unfair.
But you only got the three points.
If you promised, you would go over to the winner's house.
So this is why James's nephews are so insistent
that you live with him.
Let's talk about James's prize,
a photo collage celebrating the end of him being a toddler.
I wasn't aware that James hated being a toddler so much.
In fact, he's gone on to do a show
about how much he loved being a little kid.
James is quite a nostalgic guy, which is quite surprising.
But he didn't like his toddler years.
But I guess he has a window in his life of real heightened nostalgia.
Yeah.
On either side.
Misery.
Misery, yeah.
That's a misery.
So yeah, the first stage was toddlerism i wonder if
he liked being a baby i reckon he liked being a baby i think he'd be a good baby yeah the toddler
years were not good for him uh it's funny that in some of those photos he looks like just some
random blonde child and in some photos he he looks like adult James Acaster shrunk.
Well, he's got a little toddler's face, if you think about it.
Like now, if you just looked at his face through a porthole,
you'd be like, that's a big toddler.
That's right.
When he does that exasperated face.
Yeah.
He looks like a toddler then.
Little toddler. face. Yeah. He looks like a toddler then. Little
toddler. I think all of that
was a ploy just to get Greg to
turn him upside down anyway.
I think there were people
all over the nation going, I wish Greg Davis
would turn me upside down.
He's such a big guy.
I think he could turn me upside down.
He's scary. Did you ask
on the day? I think everyone should have been turned upside down.
I was intimidated.
I don't think people appreciate just how big Greg Davis is in real life
and how strong he looks.
Yeah.
He looks strong, not in like a bodybuilder way,
but in like if you were to come across a silverback.
Yes.
You know, like just naturally like strong. Like Hodor. Yes, yes, yes, Yes. Just naturally strong.
Like Hodor.
Yes, yes, yes, that's right.
Hodor Strong.
But instead of Hodor, he can only say One Point.
One Point.
Hello, One Point.
One Point.
One Point is a funny name for a character one point kerry uh won the day uh with
this uh with this prize task with uh just a classic kerry godleman straight down the line
played it with a totally straight bat here's what i think the best thing from the 90s is a friend's
box set it's a classic kerry Godliman approach to the series,
just correct answer.
Yeah.
Straight to the point.
Straight to the point.
And also, I think if everyone had tried
to do something from the 90s,
I don't think that would have won.
Because I actually don't think it's a very,
I think it's a very mediocre thing from the 90s overall.
I think it's, you know.
Friends is, you know, it's fine.
It has its moments.
But I don't think,
I think Greg was really scrabbling around
to give something five points there
because I don't think he likes Friends that much.
I've never, I've never seen him watching Friends.
I've also found his stand-up to be very Friends-inspired.
Could I be any more tall?
We all remember that bit.
But it was Kerry Godliman who took the five points
with the Friends box set.
Acaster took the four.
You took the three points, luckily, Phil.
And Jess and Rod got naught.
A horrible way to starting an episode.
Next. Jessica.
I've brought a book from the 90s. OK.
This man changed the course of cultural history.
It's Timmy Mallet.
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
That's one of the only books I've ever read.
I'm sure he's a perfectly nice man,
but I found his televisual presence quite unsettling in the 90s.
LAUGHTER
Was it because he hosted a game show and he punished his contestants?
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
It is a treasured possession. I can show you the inside cover.
It was actually from 1989.
Oh!
LAUGHTER
You've instantly been disqualified. No!
Oh, that's really... Alex, that's your fault!
Not wide awake!
Task one, excite Alex. Greatest increase in Alex's current's your fault. Not wide awake. Task one, excite Alex.
Greatest increase in Alex's current heart rate wins.
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
I mean, this couldn't have gone worse for you, could it, Phil?
No.
Yeah, no.
I ended up relaxing him, if anything.
This is my problem with the whole series.
I took tasks too literally.
And I'm such a stickler for like rules
and parameters um that when it's because it says excite alex that doesn't sound to me like um
make alex exercise no because i don't find exercise exciting but that was by it turned out by far the most effective way to do it i i tried my best to
to stick as as literally to the task as possible and there was my downfall therein yes my downfall
and you know i respect that phil because i completely agree with you that the task is
excite alex but then it's his greatest increase in alex's current heart rate wins. I guess then what it's saying is it's equating the heart rate with excitement.
And some people just focused on the heart rate thing
because that's what won it for you.
Whereas you, very clean approach to the task.
You tried to excite him and hopefully the heart rate came with the excitement.
Yeah, but unfortunately he's, for such an eccentric and an enthusiast, Alex Horne is very unexcitable.
Yes.
I think it's because he finds so much thrill and joy in his own thoughts and projects that you can't compete.
You can't compete with the mind of alex horn no and also i think
james made the point that you you can't go down the path of emotions you can't excite alex with
emotions he i mean greg said he's a very cold fish i think i think basically everyone discovered the
only way to get his heart rate up was by making him run around doing stuff yeah and i mean look
you tried you tried your best.
You made a black coffee with five cubes of sugar.
It sounds like a great plan.
You nearly kicked him in the face a few times.
Do you think the Near Misses video compilation was a bad idea?
Bearing in mind it was entitled Near Misses.
Yeah, I should have covered the titles.
Yeah, or maybe at least found a video that said,
near misses question mark.
Near misses apart from one.
But I mean, there's also a danger I'd just start showing him snuff films.
So I think there was a balance to be struck.
Yeah.
I mean, look, I enjoyed your approach to it.
And it's not your fault that Alex can sit there
while you nearly kick him in the face a few times,
especially with the old package swinging around.
Yeah, so it was half a martial arts demonstration,
half a lap dance, and it still got nothing.
Rudd also goes down the coffee route,
but strips Alex.
So it's the opposite of a lap dance.
Ties him up. Not for the first time in this series uh well actually it is for the first time in this series it it
happens later um and do you think maybe rod did slightly better because he feeds alex the coffee
through a foghorn do you think that was the key to exciting Alex? Yeah, so I think it wasn't the caffeine that excited Alex,
but just how close he was to drowning.
He was being waterboarded, wasn't he?
Waterboarded, yeah, coffeeboarded.
He's the first man to ever get coffeeboarded.
But even that only raised his heart rate by 11,
so Rod got two points.
Kerry offered to reenact childbirth,
and that started getting his heart rate going
because this is another avenue
that you need to explore with Alex
if a woman suggests anything vaguely
below the belt to Alex
it doesn't have to be sexual
anything like that
just anything genital based
or a woman comes too close to him
or touches him
he gets really worried
how interesting it's
happened in so many series of taskmaster where he gets very easily embarrassed by female contestants
and that might be a way to go even more for carrie if she just kept talking about uh private intimate
things um so all so what i should have done would just been to go out onto the street and
bring in a woman.
Find a willing woman who could have touched him on the face and stuff.
Or just said boobs.
I mean, obviously, one of the best moments ever on Taskmaster is Alex accidentally touching Mel Gedroych's boob.
And you've never seen anyone more embarrassed in their life.
That would have been his highest heart rate ever.
Even burpees included.
James makes Alex shout at traffic,
which is a real insight into what James likes.
Just shouting his own name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, sometimes I think,
I was the weirdest one on this show. And then sometimes I think, no, it, yeah. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I think, ah, I was the weirdest one on this show.
And then sometimes I think, no, it was James.
And that's one of those moments.
Definitely James.
Shouting his name.
Oh, his idea that he would be embarrassed, maybe?
Yeah.
That the embarrassment of it would raise his heart rate?
Or excites him.
I think James was saying that it would excite him
to go and shout James Acaster at a car.
Which, I mean, that bears fruit.
That's exactly the guy we know.
He throws a banana at him and then resorts to just playing it.
Well, I would say it.
He would say Tig.
What do you call that game, Phil?
What do you call it?
It, I think it.
Yeah.
You're it.
You're it.
Yeah, yeah, it, yeah. what i think that's what they're
saying as well so god knows why he's calling it tig i have heard tig before yeah tig or tag
must be a catering thing it must be a catering thing yeah um jess uh does the best here uh well
as as jay happened to james she starts with uh she starts with something to try
and excite him or worry him by very badly explaining that he's being attacked by sharks
and then just asked him to do 100 burpees just gives up and basically drills him like the military
um but the shark i mean greg makes the point that she can't have tech she can't imbue her
voice with tension or worry no because her voice is so
nice and sort of
mellifluous and calming
it's like listening to a meditation tape
yes
a shark coming in to stroke your cheek
she gets a lot of voice over work I think Jess
she's on a campaign at the moment
for something I can't remember what
but at no point do I feel worried
saves the sharks oh no the sharks gotten in the campaign at the moment for something. I can't remember what. But at no point do I feel worried.
Save the Sharks.
Oh no, the Sharks got an in.
So it was one point for you, Phil.
Two points for Rod.
Three points for Kerry.
Four points for James.
And five points for Jess.
There's a nice moment when Kerry was playing football with him and then just got caught up in the thrill of football
and just started scoring goals on her own.
And that's the killer
instinct which makes her a winner I think she's what she's such she's so like she's so competitive
but you don't notice until it's too late yeah exactly I think effective I think she'd happily
do Taskmaster with for no money with and the cameras aren't on I think she Loved it. How quickly was it between pouring him a cup of coffee that you went for the
time-served technique of hitting a pan with a hammer
Nearly kicking him in the face for about five minutes. Yeah. Yeah. No, I saw the karate stuff
But I can't comment on that because all I can say is your genitalia
But I can't comment on that, cos all I can see is your genitalia. LAUGHTER
A lot of what you did was relaxing. You gave me a hot drink.
That's what you do to relax, isn't it?
Yeah, at one point he reclined my chair. That was nice.
And then he showed me these clips of a Russian dash cam.
But it said, near misses, so I knew every time everyone was OK.
So how quickly into the video did you realise
that no-one was going to get hurt? Immediately.
Immediately. It was the most the video did you realize that no one was going to get hurt? Immediately.
It was the most relaxing video I've ever seen.
My heart rate dropped by six in the time.
Every veteran has a story.
Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca.
A message from the Government of Canada.
Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know
we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big
corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption
actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under
the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis store and ACAS Creative.
Phil, this is, I mean, this is possibly one of your crowding moments.
Make the best noise.
When you are ready to make your noise, you must say, this is my best noise.
After you've made your noise, you must remain still and silent for at least 10 seconds.
You have 20 minutes and one attempt.
Your time starts now this what i love about this is they show everyone else really running around preparing everything asking for
equipment desperately like going what am i going to do acasters filling a filling galoshes with
water strapping a bell to a guitar rods getting a ladder and then you just go into the caravan
and then come out and make that awful awful squelch with your mouth did you know what you
were going to do immediately well no what they don't what they haven't included is me just
literally sat in the caravan meditating trying to think of what noise to make and that noise i make
with my mouth is something that i've always i've been able to
make since i was like a child teen young teen a child young teen yeah and um and i've never been
able to profit from it until now and and i thought yeah because i remember people saying they couldn't
do it they can't move their tongue as quickly quickly do it. And I thought, this is my time to shine.
And also, I didn't want to go run around looking for things.
Did you think that, oh, I could go and get stuff,
or did you think that the task was make the best noise with your own body?
Again, I may have taken it too literally.
Make the best noise, to me, it sounds like within yourself.
Yes.
With no material help.
Yeah.
And so I did.
Would you mind giving us a quick blast of that now?
I need to wet up.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Is that coming through?
Yeah.
The timbre changes.
It can be different from day to day.
I think I got lucky that day.
That day was a good one. Well, that was a good one too, I've got to say.
I think half our listeners just turned off though
because that in headphones
is hugely unpleasant.
And when it was played into studio before Greg made his decision after everyone else's
and I just go, mine just starts echoing through the studio and the whole audience goes, oh,
like that.
Which is worse if you don't see you do it.
So it's sort of all right if you can see you do it.
But disembodied is foul because you think of all manner of stuff.
That's right.
That's right.
It's a real Rorschach's test of a noise.
Because you just, you place your own awful imagery on top of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not me.
For me, it sounds like a lovely lamb running through a field um james's let's talk we mentioned james's it's one of many occasions
where james has an absolute meltdown i mean he's i don't know what he what he was thinking
well james he he was he when he was younger he what he what he was thinking well James
he
he was
when he was younger
he was a musician
he was in a punk band
he was a drummer
so he's like a percussionist
so
he's a man who
understands
timbre
yeah
um
but I think
that led him down
the garden path
yeah
and made him overthink
he was too experimental yeah but that's i mean
now that's the sort of music he would he would listen to that he would listen to someone throwing
that i think yeah bell guitar on galoshes is actually the name of a band in his latest podcast
in um they had a great 2016 album um called sploosh i mean he's not the only person who lost his mind uh jess i don't know how this got four points
i hate to challenge greg's score yes but i've got no idea how jess has got four points because to me
it was just someone who'd complete who'd gone mad and was just doing everything they could
it seems like many separate noises to me.
Yes, and so she sat on a bicycle.
Yes, for no reason.
For no reason other than it has the bell on it.
Yeah.
And she's wearing a top hat, which doesn't come into it at all.
It looks like the Monopoly man had a mental breakdown.
Yeah.
She screams down the foghorn, starts strumming the guitar, and dinging the bell it's loads of different noises together i don't and then does and then goes to her old
standard the rave horn which she's already done on the series well it isn't loads of noises together
because that would be a noise it's loads of noises in series yes yeah yeah i won after the other yeah
yeah if she was
able to make them all at once i'd be quite cool like yeah you know i'll be pretty good
yeah yeah but they're all she's deconstructed it she's like a deconstructed uh yeah i guess
yeah greg wasn't feeling particularly picky that day i suppose because he's got a deal
with um with well carrie look carrie's was pretty good again she knows a fart sound is good how's
she going to elevate the fart sound deflating a balloon down a large tube that's that's the way
she does it and it sounds good yeah i got a nice um timbre to it nice reverb to the nice farty
reverb like when you're really when you do a really good one
in a sort of echoey room.
Yeah, in a lift or something.
In a lift or cathedral.
The dream would be, the dream for
me would be an
empty cathedral and I could do a naked
ass fart in a cathedral.
Yes, I wonder
at which point, I suppose
acoustically it must be the pulpit that is the best located for echoing.
So yeah, you climb up the pulpit, you turn around, you just good big old fart.
And it's late in the day, it's a bit warm, so your buttocks are like soft, they're not tight.
your buttocks are soft.
They're not tight.
And you're like... All the way back.
Even for people in the back pew.
Back pew, more like.
Well, talking of that,
let's talk about Rod,
who frequently in this series
clearly does stuff
where he doesn't care about the points
and he just wants to do something funny
or something to troll Greg.
It happens in the prize task in this episode
and in this task.
He meditates as well to come up with this.
He gets a cardboard cutter of Greg,
drops dog shit from a ladder onto a picture of Greg.
At no point is it explained why there's a dog there.
Yeah, whose dog was that?
No one says whose dog that was.
I've done Taskmaster.
I've done 11 episodes of Taskmaster.
At no point was there a dog just knocking about.
There was no dog.
There's no Taskmaster dog at the house
that is there for every task,
and they go, do you want to use the dog? And everyone just goes no that is there for every task and they go do you use the dog and
everyone just goes no until this one task someone finally uses the dog there's no dog i wonder if
it's rod's dog i guess it must be i guess it must be his dog he must have brought it in that day
thinking i have a feeling i'm gonna need some dog shit today oh well i'd imagine what happened was
is he thought i'm going to use this dog shit in one of the tasks somehow he crowbar the shit in um i mean it is really funny
it doesn't it deserves it deserves one point it deserves to be punished because the sound's not
that good and obviously it's hugely offensive to greg but it is so funny to drop shit onto a
picture of someone's face it is it's so horrible and
really puts into perspective my how badly i performed this series that i came behind a guy
who regularly a guy who dropped shit on greg's face and i still finished behind him
so did james to be fair at least that's it was both of you that finished behind him
oh yeah
oh god
Rod must have been really good if you came behind him
oh no no no he dropped shit onto the host's face
a man famously doesn't like being
disrespected and gives out the points
he dropped shit onto that guy's face
and he still beat me
it was one
point uh for rod two points for james three points for carrie four points for jess and a well-deserved
five points for you phil it was organic thank you it felt good you nailed it i've never heard a sound
like it i sort of hated it i sort of liked it. Great. And yeah, this is one of those things
that even now people will come up and say,
love your best sound.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a real highlight.
I've got to say,
I've got some notes here from the producer
just describing what you did.
And there's been a small autocorrect error.
And it says,
Phil makes a weird sound with hips, lips and tongue.
As far as I know, I mean mean the camera wasn't pointed down there you weren't using
your hips for that sound right yeah of course I was just love it's for the bass
they're just like I'm very sure I'm Shakira esque in that way the hips are
very important part of the whole package. Yeah, you've got to swing the hips. Hips, lips and
tongue. Hips, lips and tongue.
This is my best noise.
Help! task three get this ball into that hole in as few strokes as possible the ball must only be struck the ball must never be carried You have a maximum of 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
This is a good task.
I really like this one because it's straightforward.
Yeah.
And it was just a physical get this over there task.
You've got to smash an egg cup,
which is as satisfying as it looks yeah with the golf
that was great your first shot and james's first shot actually was so impressive because i surprised
myself smashed and then yeah you could see the only thing that made it less impressive was
how how surprised you were with yourself if you if you played it absolutely cool i'm like fucking
hell that's sexy as sexy as hell um but you were so happy with yourself when it went when it went near the hole and both you
and james could have could have really run with that and taken that advantage um but no it turns
out it's one is yeah getting it over to the general area is the easy bit yes but then getting it up onto a lumpy felt carpet yeah um on uneven ground
and uh and knocking into even even that a big hole is a big hole yeah and it was still tough
well you made it tougher for yourself of course because i liked i like the idea of of creating a
sort of gully to hit the wall because they're not allowed to do that in golf
but it didn't say it was the rules of golf um you almost went with the sort of like bowling when
people use the rails that's right that's very much the energy i was channeling because that
is still how i bowl now yeah but what they don't do in bowling is put a broom head at the end of
the rails um that was pretty heartbreaking when it
went crashing into the top of the broom that was an oversight because at that point my only thought
was get it away from the wall yeah because it's going to make it impossible to get and i just
didn't think to turn the broom the other way around so yeah it worked very well at getting
it away from the wall but it also worked very well at stopping it dead in its tracks the only person who impeded themselves more was jess who does it in 12 strokes and sets up this
this insane tube system like i understand i understand the tube system it's very similar
to what i tried to do in champion of champions and we all know how that went um but she she
aimed it towards the hole great but then she uses a croquet mallet to try and bash it into the pipe she doesn't
definitely doesn't have that accuracy and then it cuts back and she's got three tubes all pointing
in towards the hole but the ball is nowhere near the end of any of those tubes i don't understand
what that was actually i i can only i can only think that she lost so much faith
in her own ability to aim
that she lined up just a number of tubes
thinking, well, we'll go in one of them.
But they were all pointing out in different directions.
So there's no margin for error there.
She could have aimed for one.
And it's not if she misses that one,
she'd get it down another one
because it would have had to go all the way around
the other side and go in that way.
And in fact, she gets it into the tube. the tube then dislodges and goes to the other and provides a bridge across the heart yeah that's great that
feels really good so funny that's like something from the golden age of uh like chaplain or
something yeah there's some film called A Good Walk Ruined.
But she stays remarkably calm when that happens.
James gets really, really agitated.
Yeah, it's the first time we've seen James really angry.
Genuinely angry, especially because he's so sure
he's going to make that third shot that he puts his sunglasses on.
Did you notice that? He cuts back and he's put his glasses on. So obviously he's like, yeah's going to make that third shot that he puts his sunglasses on did you notice that
it cuts back he's put his glasses on so obviously he's like yeah here we go and then it doesn't go
in and he looks like such an idiot that he's got his sunglasses on we love to see it it was great
he breaks the camera that was good yeah he smashes a camera up um carrie uh just i mean tries to bosh it
but doesn't necessarily have the accuracy skills to be able to do what she wants
and it goes off in some wild directions um but still doesn't really use any techniques other
than just trying to get it in the hole which has worked for her on multiple occasions so why change up why change up a good system i think yeah totally totally straight down straight down the line
into the hole yeah bosh bosh let's talk about rod i want to know what you feel about this because
there was very little argument shown in the studio and i'm assuming that on the day there was some resistance to this being allowed.
That Rod digs up, what he says is digging up the hole, taking the hole over to the ball and knocking the ball into the hole.
There must have been some argument.
It's another philosophical argument.
There was.
This series was good for philosophical arguments.
was this series was good for philosophical arguments.
There's one in a different episode,
which I think you'll come to later on,
where we have to pick 50 different things,
and James put in like 50 pebbles.
And I argued those are not different things.
But then what is different?
What is unique?
What is different?
From time to time,
these very interesting philosophical quandaries came up in the series,
and this may have been the first one.
What is a whole?
I think there was definitely definitely there's some i cannot stress how much argument there was in this series that did not make the final edit yeah just for time
because we were arguing all the time and that's why you might see a hard cut from me going smiling
and then the next the next cut i'm really upset and annoyed is because there's been 10 minutes of arguing some point
that i've lost normally with rod almost almost always against rod um and in this case i think
i argued that he didn't move the hole he expanded the original hole yeah the hole the original hole
is still in its position and he's only expanded it he's only yeah he's uh only made
it bigger if you um if you saw someone digging a hole in a garden or say there was a grave digger
who started digging a hole and then you came back and he'd done what rod did you wouldn't go where
have you put the hole yeah you'd say oh the hole's bigger the hole's bigger. The hole's bigger. Let's get the body in it.
I don't know what I had to be a cave digger.
But I suppose from Rod's argument
would be that the hole we were told to put it into
was the hole of that circumference
with that edging, which he did move.
Here's what I would suggest though.
I would believe that more
if he moved the felt
rather than
if he just moved the red green
and put it into that hole
I would have bought that
because it has to go through that
in my opinion.
Oh yeah, he doesn't actually
go through the red felt, does it?
No, it's literally just the sod.
Because he carries it over,
but then he doesn't bother to put it over the top.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Actually, it's like that.
That's what I would argue.
I think he gets the points
because he's the only person to do something different.
And I think it's refreshing.
And I'm not...
I think it's fair.
I think it's fine.
Overall, I was fine with it,
because it was impressive.
Yeah, it was good to think outside the box. Here's what really annoys it's fine. Overall, I was fine with it because it was interesting and different.
Yeah, it was good to think outside the box.
Here's what really annoys me about this though, Phil.
Oh, yeah.
I'll get on my high horse.
He thinks this up.
It's a good idea.
He moves it over and then he puts it directly next to the ball
and knocks it in for one stroke.
Why doesn't he just build it around the ball?
This was my thought as well when i watched
i was like uh because i couldn't actually remember what he did so i was like oh yeah he built he
builds it around the ball and what he gets zero strokes that'd be good but he doesn't he puts it
right next to it then still gets one i mean he wins but he still went through all the trouble
and then still used an unnecessary stroke. He could have had zero strokes.
Build it around zero strokes, but it's still...
Because my worry would be, if I'd done that,
I'd spend the next few months going,
fuck, what if someone else had the idea,
but built it around, and then I'm not going to win.
I'm going to get one stroke and someone's going to get zero.
But luckily, none of you were clever enough to do that.
Jess got one point.
Kerry got two points.
James got three points. You bagged the four points, Phil. Pretty were clever enough to do that. Jess got one point. Kerry got two points. James got three points.
You bagged the four points, Phil.
Pretty good.
And five points for Rod.
That's the side you've not seen in a view before.
Blind rage.
I was absolutely furious.
You broke your camera.
Yep, broke it.
How do you feel about that?
Pretty good, actually, at the time.
Kerry, when you completed the task, you said,
BOSH! Yes.
And I'm increasingly thinking that's your approach this whole game.
Yes. Get in, do the job, BOSH!
They're very straightforward tasks.
Get the ball in the hole, bang.
Are you like that at home? Yes.
Yeah? Yes. What do you want, dinner, kids?
BOSH! There it is.
Beans! Eat! Right. Bed! what do you want dinner kids bosh there it is beans eat
rice
bed
let's talk
let's talk quickly
about the live task
part one
write down a ten word fact
you will have 100 seconds
there is a bonus point
for the best fact
part two
mouth your fact
to the taskmaster
without making any noise
whatsoever
most words understood
by the taskmaster
wins
I mean it's a classic
parlour game
it's really funny um
can i just say phil i've never seen anyone worse at mouthing words than you
i overthought it i thought i really need to enunciate but it turns out when we talk normally
we don't enunciate like that so no one is used to seeing people enunciate like that
um talk about uh hips lips and tongue
they were all in full force in this studio task the tongue especially really came out to play
yeah i don't know why i thought that would help me just but i couldn't understand me watching it i was like what the hell am i
talking about and i'm me you're you um also very confusing fact as well i think it needs to be a
quite a clear fact with very obvious words for it to work and phil wang's shoe size is 12 plus 2
minus 2 is quite baffling.
Well, it's not wrong.
No, it's not wrong.
Yeah, the only fact I could think about on there was,
because I think it was generally because I was looking at my feet.
So the only fact that came to mind was,
my shoe size is 12.
What I love about it, though, is when you start, the words you're really good at enunciating
or mouthing are Phil Wang.
Yeah, I know.
So it's great.
It's so funny.
Obviously, even if we'd covered your mouth up,
I'd guess your first two words would be Phil Wang.
Yeah, so at least Greg got those.
James actually mouths very well
because he realises you need to leave gaps
in between every word.
So he really goes for it
and leaves big gaps in between every word
and also does a lot of facial expressions.
So on the word awful, he does a sad face.
So it makes it clearer on what the words are.
And a great fact, only humans and armadillos
can catch the awful disease, leprosy.
I love it.
It is awful.
It's an awful disease.
He clearly had
only humans and armadillos
can catch leprosy
and then he was like,
I've got some more words to add.
Oh, disease.
Oh, wait,
we better describe that
I think it's awful.
Five points for James.
Five points for Jess
for another great fact about ants.
Four points for Kerry, who goes with a fact about ants uh four points for Kerry who goes
with a fact about herself but she wasn't looking at her feet so it's about where she was born
um two points for you sadly Phil and one point for Greg broke the toilet seat by sitting on said
toilet and that's not he's not been punished because it's a mean thing about Greg on this
occasion he's just bad bad at mout words. But Rod has not had a strong
episode at all.
For someone who goes on to come
third in the series, nine points
for Rod in the whole episode.
You and Jess got 15.
Kerry on 17. And James
wins, taking home all those prizes,
including you, Phil.
Including me.
Back to his abode Phil thank you very much
for coming back on the podcast
oh thanks for having me back
always a pleasure
we did have one email
I wanted to ask you
if I can find it
yeah I mean it's outfit based again
but I'm going to read it to you
Andrew from southampton
says after taskmaster um what did he get more attention for his general performance on this
show a particular task or that outfit love the podcast andrew from southampton oh um people say
almost equally i love you in taskmaster and uh uh what i was expecting you to be wearing your taskmaster
outfit today those are so so i don't know how in how connected those two are people only love me
on taskmaster or only like me on taskmaster because of my uh my outfit but it goes together
what was the what was the third option a particular task was there a
particular task that people talked to you about um no sometimes it's the best noise yeah people
talk to me about that one lime i think a lime tends to come up a lot a lime comes up a lot yeah
a lime comes up a lot i think your general performance there's so many brilliant tasks as
well i is we'll get more
attention than the outfit even though you then went on to do a tour um where the poster was you
wearing the outfit of course because i'd already done the photo i couldn't be bothered to do another
photo shoot that was amazing it'd already been you already had some photos did people expect you to
be doing the show in the outfit i think so i think some people some people like jokingly like oh
where's the outfit and some people
were genuinely disappointed
like I thought you'd be
wearing the outfit
yeah
so
like they'd be misled
yeah a little bit
but
too bad
too bad
too late now
Phil thank you so much for coming back on the podcast of course we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster
have you enjoyed yourself and if so please tell me how many points you would give this experience i've really enjoyed
myself uh i've been able to do this from the comfort of my own home um and uh uh it's always
nice to talk to you ed my friend my accomplice my muse so five points yes to the taskmaster podcast yes and i will give your um zoom background five
points as well uh thank you wonderful wallpaper um which increasingly i've imagined that you're
sitting inside a dragon fruit yes that's what it looks like it looks like i'm in the midst of that
white seediness uh yes my white seedness is actually the title of my autobiography and what are you up to at the moment phil uh what's what's going on in the world of wang
well i'm doing one week at denver fringe 15th to 21st but i think it might be selling out
but this but if you miss me that i'm doing a tour of the uk in spring 2023 starting in march so
have a look on my website.
See if I'm coming to a town near you.
You got to go and see the Wang.
I'll be there with bells on, Phil.
I can't wait.
And also, huge shout out from me for your podcast, Budpod,
that you do with Pierre Novelli, which is, it's in my rotation, Phil.
I have a small rotation, but it's every Wednesday. I'm a loyal Budpod listener. It's a real honor to's in my rotation, Phil. I have a small rotation, but it's in every Wednesday.
I'm a loyal Budpod listener.
It's a real honour to be in your rotation, Ed.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.
Thank you, Phil.
Thank you.
Bye.
Thank you very much, Phil, for coming in.
Wonderful chatting to Phil about Series 7, Episode 3.
Next week, we'll be back with series seven episode four we do things chronologically here at the taskmaster podcast and we'll be talking to katie wicks katie wicks a many many time
guest on the taskmaster podcast star of series nine she's absolutely brilliant can't wait to
talk to katie about this episode of Series 7.
Wang fans, don't forget, you can go and see Phil on tour
or at the Edinburgh Festival.
Just go onto his website for more details.
Been lovely chatting with you.
I'll see you next week.
Goodbye. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
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