Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 94. Tim Key - S7 Ep.6
Episode Date: September 1, 2022The Task Consultant returns to talk to Ed about all things Series 7 but in true fashion he and Ed get side tracked by poetry and Mrs Mangel. They do get round to discussing some tasks which this week ...involve glasses, a cliff-hanger and 50 different things. Find out more about Tim's live shows here: timkey.co.uk Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
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interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is
brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis
Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, host of the Taskmaster podcast.
We are here to talk about another episode of the hit television show, Taskmaster.
And today we're talking about Series 7, Episode 6.
It's another classic from Series 7.
And as always, we have a special guest to discuss it with.
And today's special guest is Tim Key.
Tim Key, regular contributor to this podcast.
Regular contributor, of course, to the Taskmaster TV series.
He is the task consultant, which, as we know, is a very important and necessary role.
And he works extremely hard for it do go and see tim key do
his new show mulberry i won't see it at the edinburgh festival it is fantastic possibly
one of his best shows which is a huge thing to say because all of his shows are wonderful
do go and watch that he's doing the sofa theater he's doing shows in bristol he's doing shows in manchester uh timkey.co.uk for details of that
let's crack on with it this is series seven episode six of taskmaster as discussed by me
ed gamble and the wonderful tim key welcome back to the taskmaster podcast tim key hello hello podcast Tim Key. Hello. Hello. Difficult to know which which Tim Key is going to turn up I'll be
honest. I think you've got the one of the great Tim Keys today. One of the best. How many? I've
got a real thirst to talk about this episode of this wonderful TV show. How many Tim Keys are
there? I think there's probably two. One who's sort of into this sort of stuff and then one who isn't.
And you've lucked out.
You're fortunate to find a Tim Key
who really enjoys series six of Taskmaster.
Now, you've been on the show a couple of times before, Tim.
The first time you said you didn't do anything
as task consultant.
The second time you gave us a full day breakdown of all of the work that goes into being a task consultant.
Anything you'd like to add to that today?
I think I'm going to keep on going on my second appearance vibe of sort of going along with the idea that I am the task consultant.
Okay, cool.
I feel it slipping out of my hands slightly.
So I think I'm going to talk up my task consultancy side of things
and, spoiler alert, potentially say that I came up with some of the tasks.
Yes, okay, good. Good to know.
How's it been going recently as a task consultant?
Obviously, Series 14 is all in the can.
How did that go?
Pardon me? 14? 14, Series in the can. How did that go? Pardon me? 14?
14, series 14.
Wow.
You seem shocked,
but I really think as the task consultant,
you would know how many series there have been.
I know.
Well, I keep checking the schedules on Dave
and it seems to have sort of petered out.
Yeah. Is it still going? It is still going, yeah, but it's on Channel 4 now, Tim.
Oh, wow. He's done well for himself, hasn't he, Al? He has. He's done a good job there.
Channel 4 as in, like, Channel 4? Do you mean BBC 4? Or do you mean Channel 4?
No, I mean Channel 4, the main Channel 4. Oh, that's fantastic. That's where,
what used to be on that?
Like Harry Hill was on Channel 4?
Harry Hill was on Channel 4, yeah.
Shawnee's show, Hollyoaks?
Countdown?
Yeah, they're all Channel 4 shows
and now Taskmaster's a Channel 4 show.
Is Channel 4 news?
Is that Channel 4?
Yes, I think so. It's not BBC
4 as far as I know. Yeah.
So he's done very well for himself. Are you proud of him?
Oh, I really
am proud of him. He's absolutely
flying. He's sort of
and it doesn't go to his head
and he sort of takes it all in his stride.
Are you proud of him?
Yeah, I guess so. Are you proud of your one?
Yes, very proud of my one. Very proud of your one yes very proud very proud of my one very
proud of my one yeah and i'm proud of this one as well to be honest um it's a good it's a good
episode of a great series now obviously i i always have a little list of questions to ask the guest
and some of them are sort of uh they're they're not fitted directly to the guest but this is one
of the more generic ones did you watch this series when it went out tim yeah yeah it's it's actually part of the the remit of the um task consultant
okay that sort of it's actually quite a cathartic experience because you work so hard doing you know
the task consultancy side of things and putting the tasks the bloody tasks together and it's not
easy because there's you know because as you go deeper into these
series, you sort of feel like I've run out of tasks, but amazingly you can always come up with
tasks. You just need to keep your eyes open when you're sort of walking around and ideas emerge
and stuff like that. And if you have your notepad and you just like, when things come into your
head, you just scribble down the odd sort of word really and then come back to it but then you put the tasks together and i think i'll work on some of them as well
and then then you give them to the contestants and that's the real joy is i mean i'm i'm usually
there for filming in the house but there are some some house days that i miss so actually i always go to all of the studio days and watch the the show being recorded you know and then where's it
recorded again pardon me where's it recorded again they're doing a recording studio yeah
correct they're london yeah right uk yeah yeah uk, UK. And then the final thing I always like to do
is I'll always watch the whole series
as it goes out with Al and Greg.
Oh, all of you watch it together?
Yeah, and the rest of the team.
And then, you've come to that a couple of times, haven't you?
Oh, yeah, good point, actually, yeah.
The big watch-along.
Yeah, yeah. Good point, actually. The big watch-along. Yeah.
And then, I like to...
This is the mad bit, but I think it's because I'm just such a sort of...
I mean, I'm such a fanboy.
If I didn't work on it, I think I'd be like,
I'd do this anyway.
But I then watch the whole series back a couple of times later.
You know, later that year.
So, yeah.
And I do really enjoy this one
although i haven't seen this episode so you'd seen it every single other episode four or five times
this one this one has somehow got got through the net slipped through the net well i'm glad we could
we could show it to you for the first time um it's a good series, how do you feel about the line-up
do you have any sort of, any faves in the
line-up?
More or less all faves
this is one of, I think this is one of my
favourite line-ups, what do you think about it?
Yeah I think it's a very very strong line-up
but every single line-up has something
to recommend it you know, in terms of
it's chemistry and this is a nice sort of
this is quite a spiky chemistry they have between each other i think yeah it is it is a really good
lineup there's a lot of there's a lot of fun to be had i mean you know elephant in the room
nappet has nappet's got a lot going for her nappet's one of the great great yeah absolutely
very very good contestant nappet's a very funny persons. Nappet's great. Yeah, absolutely. Very, very good contestant.
Nappet's a very funny person,
very funny comedian,
and a very nice person.
I enjoy Nappet.
Yeah, Nappet's great.
Series 14 of Taskmaster, like I say,
is going to be on soon.
Do you have any predictions as to who might win that?
Obviously, I mean, I could run you through the contestants,
but as Task Consultant, I'd imagine you know them.
Who's going to win?
Well, it's a fairly open field, isn't it?
And you never actually know what each person will bring to the table.
Now, let me just clarify in my own mind, really.
So hang on.
It's not Richard Wilson.
Is it Richard Wilson?
Not this time.
Naomi? Is Naomi on?
Naomi's not on.
Or Richard Wilson.
Roisin back on.
No, Roisin's not back on. They don't really book repeat people.
Who do you think is going to win?
I just need to know who do you think is going to win
out of everyone on Series 14.
I think my money is probably on
John Kearns
well okay there you go you pulled one out the bag
well done
Kearns, O'Brien, Brady
Millican, Chihuahua
that's the line up
and you go with Kearns out of those
you just don't know do you
like
with this one right now
this new
no it's not that new
is it
is the one that I
had to do for this new
is that recent
series 7
yes
no
bearing in mind
we've got series 14
coming out this year
okay
oh so we're halfway
have they finished it?
How many are they doing?
I don't know what
the plan is.
We, we, we.
Have you seen how big my name is on the opening
page of the credits?
I think it's getting bigger.
I think they're goading me.
If they make that thing any bigger,
I'm going to write a task.
Let's talk about the prize task, because coincidentally, Tim,
the prize task for this episode is Best Key.
Yeah, it is, actually.
And no one brought you in.
I would have brought you in, Tim.
I was surprised.
I thought maybe James might have said, ah, this could be a case of in you come.
I don't know really where that gets you.
I mean, it's just someone coming on, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's as good as I think any...
Well, certainly, if James brought you,
it is better than what he actually brought in,
which was the key to his heart, aka bowl of ice cream.
I think that is... you're a better option.
Yeah, I like...
Yeah, I did quite like the bowl of ice cream,
key to his heart.
Well, let's go through chronologically.
The first one
was Kerry yeah sure okay first first one was Kerry the key to her camper van yeah it's nice to see a
camper van I thought Kerry's prize was it felt like a very old school prize like when the prize
actually meant something where people would bring in something of value from their life and it felt
that like there was a bit of jeopardy that they might actually lose it in the prize task yeah well you know we used to do something called
um we need answers me and torn and um mark watson i remember it yeah channel four yeah i don't think
it was channel four uh bbc4 yeah good point and then um we in the in the prize task one of us would just bring in
something from our house and
I brought in a standard lamp and so
I mean amazingly most
times the person would go oh right well
that's your actual thing so I won't take that
but I mean you know
sure as night follows day Esther Ransom has
got my standard lamp
Do you think Ransom's still and has got my standard lamp.
Do you think Ransom's still using your standard lamp?
Do you think it's still in her abode?
Well, I sort of hope so.
But I mean, I was like a lot younger then and sort of, you know, didn't have a flat or anything.
I was sort of like all sorts of, all over the place,
sort of broken stuff. And even I thought that's a flat or anything. I was sort of like all sorts of all over the place and sort of broken stuff.
And even I thought that's a bad standard lamp.
I just thought Ransom would have been absolutely coining it in somewhere.
Yeah.
Maybe.
I mean,
I can't see Ransom actually.
She probably just took it to the tip straight away.
She was probably too polite to say no.
She probably like auctioned it,
knowing her and gave the money somewhere where it could be used efficiently and charitably.
Yeah.
But this is what I'm saying.
This is the sort of level of price test.
I think Kerry's done well here,
but the campervan itself is absolutely disgusting.
Well, it's funny.
You look at the campervan,
you think that's...
I can see that's the real campervan,
but it would make more sense if it was a cartoon.
It feels like
sort of someone from a film
sort of adjacent to Up
would drive around that camper.
Yeah.
I can't imagine Kerry
driving around in it.
Well, no,
because she's not a cartoon character
from a film adjacent to Up.
No, she's a real lady from life.
Although, funny enough,
I think I probably can see her
driving around in it.
More than,
more than, I mean, I can see her driving around in it more than I can see Wang driving around in it.
Oh, sure. Wang's not a campervan guy.
No. What vehicle do you think of when you think of Wang?
It's a good question, isn't it?
Maybe a tandem bike, but it's just him on it.
That's interesting.
I see him more as a... You know, it's just him on it that's interesting um i see him more as a
you know one of those it's a really nice car um and it's in the opening credits to the pink panther
and but the trick is that the door opens sort of upwards butterfly door like the
i can see him driving a delorean basically wang i'd love that I'd love to see Wang driving a DeLorean
um Jess Knappett brings in a homemade key lime pie I love this I don't know why this wasn't the
five points personally Tim no that's that's a good thing you know I don't know what you're after with
I don't know I don't know what people want from their their uh Taskmaster contestants but I think
you want to be just thinking a little outside of the box.
You want to be, you know, it's a classic.
You know, you get given a task.
You want to win the task.
And you also want maybe to have some fun doing the task.
And you also want to do the task in a way
that you predict might be different from the others.
This ticks all of those boxes.
At the end of the episode, we see Horn eating the pie.
And I've got to say,
you know,
bless Snap It's heart,
and I love it to pieces,
but that looked fucking rancid.
Once he gets into it,
it's the business end of eating it.
I mean,
Horn doesn't eat anything,
but I think even Horn was like,
you could see something in his eyes.
Well,
you made Horn eat dog food
and he looked similar
when he was eating Jess's pie. Yeah, he did he did and that is not that is not a great testament to jess's bakery
no but i guess hot hot studio lights has probably been sat there for a couple of hours it's not it's
not going to be in the best state is it but i think we can agree that that the intent of the
homemade key lime pie it's slightly outside the box you say, but not so outside the box.
It's just trying to be clever, clever,
which is why I think Phil's one was too clever for Greg.
Was that the piano key?
The G key from a piano
being the best key
was just slightly too outside the box
and seems a bit smart.
It's also not my favourite key,
I don't think.
Is it not?
What's your fave?
Shall I look for your fave?
I like them all, I think.
All about the same.
How about you?
I couldn't distinguish between the different keys,
I'll be honest.
I'd know a B if I saw it, I think.
If you saw it?
Yeah. I think if you laid them all out,
I'd probably be able
to sort of, you know, press what needed
to be pressed but but i suppose
that's the same as saying i can play the piano yeah and can you play the piano grade nine
um let's talk about rods before we move on um it's just the same picture again he brings this
in every episode uh but this time
there's a key uh next to it on a graph um particular detail i liked was the zoomed in
nipple to act as a act as a guide oh i didn't see the zoomed in nipple little zoomed in nipple as
part of the key there uh really enjoyed it i mean it's just it's so inevitable now every episode
it's just going to be that picture of greg it's beautiful and um yeah
that was a good example of the genre the key i think that might that might have gone onto my
that might have been on my radar doing something with a with a key to a map i don't know do you
think so but surely if you're if you're presented with best key as a prize task oh i'm bringing my
dad in you're bringing your dad in, right?
Or my mum, to be fair.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's the question, isn't it?
Which one would you bring in?
I think, hand on heart,
I'd probably bring in Rob Key,
the Fulmingland cricketer.
So much more difficult for you to sort out.
Yeah.
So much admin when you've got your dad and your mum on hand.
I don't have a number for Rob.
But so much less of a liability in the studio.
Jess.
I've thought outside the box.
It's called a key.
A lime pie.
Bracket.
Homemade.
Did you really make it?
Yes, I really made it.
If it's a stock library picture, I'm going to attack Phil.
It's not a...
Here it is.
Here's the pie.
I the heart taskmaster.
Yes, OK, James.
I the heart taskmaster.
But it should say, I heart the taskmaster,
which it does if you read it the right way round,
which is the wrong way round.
Task one, part one.
Put exactly 50 different things in this bin. Fastest wins. Your time stops when you say, which it does if you read it the right way around, which is the wrong way around. Task one, part one.
Put exactly 50 different things in this bin.
Fastest wins.
Your time stops when you say,
I've put exactly 50 different things in this bin.
Your time starts when Alex touches you on the shoulder.
Good task, that one.
What do you think of that task?
I love this task.
I would have been terrible at it.
This was one of mine.
Was it?
Yeah.
That's interesting.
How did you come up with it um well i was doing a big clear
in my in my flat and i was just thinking this is mad this is such a mad combination of things in
this in this black plastic bag and then obviously the penny drops and you think
ah mad combination of things let's put that on telly and then i'm thinking a couple of days later i
thought taskmaster yeah it's the big question in this task is is different things what counts as a
different thing because james obviously puts in 49 stones right which we're saying are different
things no i don't think we are i think they should have been a bit more hard-line on that side of things. I mean, I think
again, if you go
through their prism, I'm thinking
I'm putting
very different things in.
I mean, I'm probably
I might be going
into the kitchen and making a few things actually and bunging
those in too.
But this is, you're trying
you're doing it for time really
so what are you making in the kitchen well you know well something quick then like uh you know
those um cornflake and chocolate crispies you know rice rice crispy treats yeah those sorts of
things because they're actually they're actually easier than you think you just melt down some
chocolate with a bit of syrup in there.
And then you literally just stir that stuff in.
You don't need to bake it.
That just then sets in the fridge.
But how long does it take to set in the fridge?
Well, probably not too long.
Probably like 40 minutes it would be set.
Then that goes in the bag.
But if you did that first, then you could get another 49 things
and put them in.
That could be the cherry on the top
so you've lost straight away because phil takes six minutes 57 but he does get 50 completely
different things and then everyone else uses at least two uh two of the same things i think
but you're taking 45 minutes an hour to make sure that you get your Rice Krispie treats lined up.
I think it would be good TV as well, wouldn't it?
Yeah, it would be good TV. What would you do?
I think I'd be more on the side of Phil and I would try and stick to the rules
and get 50 different things.
But then you could argue that the stones are all different.
They're not occupying the same space, are they?
So they are different things.
No, I know.
But, like, you know know i just think it's
it's the spirit it's the spirit of the of the of the law isn't it rather than the letter
you know that you're being a bad boy if you're getting 50 stones you know that well he's a bad
boy acas is a bad boy what can we say yeah yeah he is actually who got the leaves is that rod
rod got the leaves i mean i justed Rod could not be bothered at that point.
He'd run around from Alex so long
that I think he was just like,
I'm getting whatever and just bunging it in.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
So then they've got their bags.
They've got their bag.
And then it's task one, part two,
using all the items on this mat,
these being the 50 things they put in the bin, obviously.
Make the best picture
of the taskmaster
you have 10 minutes
your time starts now
I should say as well
that there were points
for getting the stuff
so Phil got 2 points
because he got a bonus point
for getting different things
Jess got 2 points
because she did it in 2.52
Rod 2.33 points
Kerry 1.27
4 points
and James less than a minute
58 seconds
and he got 5 points
and he got 5 points. And he got 5
points for getting all those stones? Yeah
it's odd because I think since then
I mean you guys over at Taskmaster will
do two part tasks but you won't necessarily
get points for the first part, it'll just
be the first part of it and then you'll move
on. Yeah I think we've
tightened that up, I remember we went for
some
Georgian food me and Horne.
And it was like specifically to talk about the two-part tasks.
Yes.
And we had like this amazing, you know when you're in a restaurant
and you get a carafe rather than a bottle?
It's so nice, like a demi-carafe I think we had a really nice georgian wine and these fantastic
kebabs and i think that was the only work we did was just tighten that one rule good good wine in
georgia one of the oldest uh winemaking countries in the world i believe um one of the oldest
countries in the world yeah there you go uh so when it comes to the art thing i think i would
have panicked at this tim how do you fancy you fancy yourself as a bit of an artist?
I'm not good at art.
I'm actually legitimately bad at art.
And so I kind of felt like
I'm giving all of these quite high scores.
My favourite was the leaf one was really good, I thought.
Really?
I liked the leaf one
it got four points which I think is outrageous
I thought it was a one point or two point
I thought it was awful
I thought it was a four point or five point
really?
I really like it, was that the one with the withered leg?
no Kerry's had the withered leg
no there was just
Rod's one had no arms
oh yeah so he could focus on the
on the stomach
yeah
which I
yeah
I thought that was
top to bottom
a good piece of work
by Rod
even compared to James's
which obviously got
the five points
which was just a
stunning piece of work
and he had the
leftover ukulele
to do a little Alex
yeah
no I don't think
that would have been
my number one
although I you know I've always enjoyed
you know A. Kester's live work and I like his like his television appearances and his podcast
work yes um you present off menu with James I do and you've been on it I I have I have and I
and I very much enjoyed it actually we liked we liked having you on but you enjoy you enjoy all that but you didn't enjoy his picture of the taskmaster despite I think it And I very much enjoyed it, actually. We liked having you on. You enjoy all that, but you didn't enjoy his picture of the Taskmaster,
despite, I think, it being...
I mean, I think it's one of his crowning moments on the show, really.
No, I did enjoy it, but I enjoyed it less than Rod's shitty leaf picture.
Well, even you're calling it a shitty leaf picture.
Yeah.
That's your five points, is it?
And I'm famously one of Rod's
arts main fans
yeah
who are the great
who are the great
artists in comedy
Fielding
Fielding of course
Lysette
Lysette
yeah
Wicks
Wicks
this is better
Hill
Harry Hill
Harry Hill does a bit of art
doesn't he
oh okay
oh hang on a minute.
Mortimer.
Roy Reeves.
Vic Reeves.
Yeah, Vic Reeves.
Yeah, there's some pretty good artists knocking around.
Yeah, there are.
And on this show, I felt that, yeah, the Leafs.
Okay, so James is your...
See, I liked Phil's a lot, and that got one point phil's was
the one that looked like a pig from angry birds and he used a lot of stuff and he'd really sort
of like rammed everything in and it was quite a dense sort of intricate portrait very offensive
i'd say which is probably why it got the one point right it was one of my favorites just for
that shock factor of the first time you saw it yeah it was good there was there was a lot going on and then jess's was more was just the one who had paint yeah yes jess used but has had a box
of paints and she just used it for the outline top outline of the head um and only seemed to
realize when it appeared to her in the studio that she could have used paints just to do a
painting of the taskmaster the trouble is i might have using my method i
might have ended up with paints in my bag but it wouldn't have really helped me because i'm not
really i'm not really a painting i don't i don't have the right kind of um i'm not well i'm shit
at painting yeah not built for it but yours of course would have captured greg's eyes very nicely
with two rice crispy treats well. Well, ah, yes.
What colour eyes does he have?
I don't think they're brown.
Ah, yet.
Yet. It comes to us all,
doesn't it?
Yes.
And Kerry's had the withered
leg. She used a lot of the oranges for the
neck when she should have had the legs the same
width. That's right.
That's right. Yeah, the long neck. Like the picture of legs the same width. That's right. That's right.
Yeah, the long neck.
Like the picture of Mrs. Mangle in Neighbours.
Beg your pardon?
Like the picture of Mrs. Mangle in Neighbours.
I think beg your pardon was the wrong phrase.
What do you mean?
I can't keep saying it. There's a famous bit in, I'll show you.
There's a famous bit in... Neigh'll show you. There's a famous bit in...
Neighbours?
Shall I post this poem?
What do you think of this poem?
Okay, go on.
It's sort of ready to go,
but I don't know whether...
I didn't get around to posting it
before I had to come on this.
And I always prioritise
the Taskmaster universe.
Yes.
I went on a date
and tried to look for common ground.
We had both met different people called Keith Hughes.
We had both been to restaurants in the late 90s,
though her experience had been very different from mine.
One of us had been to Silverstone,
and we both liked people watching.
We stopped talking and watched the people for a bit.
She loved it. She was clapping
like a seal and a man trying to put his coat on.
She was losing her shit,
pissing herself at this poor cunt.
Firing beer mats at him, shouting
abuse. Now let me
just get this Mrs. Mangle picture.
Shall I post that? Then we can see whether it gets
any hits. Yes, I think you should post it.
I think it'll get plenty of hits.
Mrs. Mangle painting.
There we go.
You'll like this. Do you remember Mrs. Mangle?
I do remember Mrs. Mangle. Or do I?
Maybe that was slightly before my neighbour's time.
Well, I mean,
how old are you?
36.
Yeah, it might be slightly before your neighbour's time.
I remember Joe Mangle.
Yeah, right. That's her nephew I think
there it is was that in Neighbours then?
had someone done it in Neighbours?
yeah I think Helen Daniels
who was like an artist
I remember Helen Daniels yeah
she liked to paint
she was doing
it was a long sort of, you know,
a long plot line where
he was just constantly painting her
and Mrs Mangle would come in and sit.
And then I think, I mean, it's pretty
good. Neighbours was pretty good, wasn't it? That's quite good.
That's funny. That's really funny.
That's the one few weeks where she keeps coming in
and sitting. And then at the end of it
she's done that painting.
Just for people who
are listening rather than us two I suppose really. it's a
picture of mrs. Mangle who's the village busybody. now I'm getting loads of
notifications from Instagram now hang on a second.
how do I turn that off? hang on a minute. Oh, my God. Because of the poem?
I think so, yeah.
Someone called Sneedaphone likes my poem.
Instagram, got it.
Okay, notifications.
Off.
Okay, good.
Okay, I'm back.
Hello, mate.
Hello.
So, it was one point for Phil's Angry Birds pig,
two points for Jess's Box of Paints outline,
three points for the withered leg from Kerry,
four points for your favourite, Leafy Tum,
and five points for James's ukulele pair.
I mean, the ukulele pair is good.
You know, there are bits, obviously obviously when you're watching it where you think
yeah I'd have liked to have done that
and smashing a ukulele
in half is just that's a
who doesn't want to do that
you'd love to do that
sometimes when people are on stage with a ukulele I'd like to go
and do that
well let's talk about the ukulele acts
I don't feel there
are any ukulele acts anymore.
It feels like such a sort of a mid-naughties thing, don't you think?
Oh, I think maybe it's something where people started off with a ukulele
and then they lose the ukulele, like it kind of stabilises.
Wang. I think Wang started with a ukulele, you know.
Oh, well, I reckon Rialina was...
Did she have a ukulele at one point?
She had a uke at one point.
Yeah, I'm not sure if she still does.
I think I've got another one.
Rosie Holt.
Did she have a uke?
She started with a uke.
Yeah, people do drop the uke.
Yeah, I mean, you know you're in a world of trouble
when you pick up the uke.
Yeah.
If I'm in my 50s and think,
I'm going to need a uke at this point.
It's when you finally run out of everything.
You've done fridge and door,
and now the only option open to you is a uke.
Yeah, exactly.
It's my favourite James's.
And I think that's one of the things he's most proud of
from the whole series as well,
because I think it was quite early on they did
this task and I think he got a real
inflated sense of how good he was going to be
at Taskmaster. Yeah.
What is your crowning glory? Which one did you absolutely
nail?
I guess people would probably say when I turned
Alex into a mermaid. Yeah.
Oh, that's fine. Spraying his tit
everywhere. Yeah, that's
one of my ones, I think. Yes, one of your ones, yeah. What was the task again? Oh, that's fine. Spraying his tit everywhere. Yeah, that's one of my ones, I think.
Yes, one of your ones, yeah.
What was the task again?
Oh, and do you know what my crowning glory was, I think?
Go on.
I think it's when I put a teabag into a tennis ball
and fired it a long distance.
Yes.
And that was not one of my tasks
because, of course, I was not a consultant
on my own series.
No, that would feel unethical, wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Anyway, next round.
Well, there's some fascinating decisions by you, Kerry,
because as the neck demonstrates,
there were enough oranges to give me two legs
that are the same width.
So you went, if I'm really really gonna make it look like him I'm gonna have to get that withered leg in place
Thinking like that that wasn't a conscious decision. What's the silver bowl a little fascinate a little cuckoo fascinator. You're going to a wedding Oh
Congratulations on your wedding. Are youettish fascinator. You're going to a wedding. Oh, congratulations on your wedding.
Are you wearing a fascinator coat?
It's not about me.
It's not about me.
Can you help me through this door?
Why?
Because one of my legs is withered.
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It's a team task, Tim.
Write and perform the most suspenseful soap opera cliffhanger your scene
may last no more than one minute you have 30 minutes your time starts now good task
terrible task this is a chill down the spine when i see this one
there are some where you look at them and think good i'd love to have done that one
there's some like this where i just think goodness me i would i would hate to do this task why is that
it's just so much more exposing having to do something you know creative and to sort of do
some writing on the spot and then i i just it fills me with absolute dread even in a team
situation because i completely agree with you
when you're there solo having to do something creative,
it is quite scary because it's linked to what we do, right?
So that's why it's exposing.
But in a team, is it not a bit more fun in a team?
Well, no, I'm not saying it's not possible to do.
We had one in our series
and me and Frank had to to record a blooper yeah
and it was really fun because um the actual task was really fun because we i enjoyed doing it with
frank and stuff and it was it was a lot of fun but i remember opening the thing and thinking
you are joking now i need to somehow creatively collaborate with Frank Skinner on making a blooper.
And that just feels like such a handful.
It was great, though, your blooper.
The man got stuck in the ground and then you could still see your legs in shot.
Yeah, it wasn't great, but it was OK.
But what I did think about these ones was that they were both really, really good.
Yes, I think it's a very, very strong showing
from both teams.
It's a really, really good show.
I feel, but I think they should have got equal points
or I think the girls should have got a couple more points
because I think acting-wise,
they blew the boys out of the water, pun intended.
Well, they're both actors.
I mean, they're like... Right, and it was a joy pun intended. Well they're both actors I mean they're like
and it was a joy to watch. They're really good actors
I couldn't work out whether James was a good
actor when he was doing his piece
and that's certainly not a criticism
I mean I'd say probably
if I had to like
put my cards on the table I'd say
he was doing good acting
it was full throttle full blood I mean, it was full
throttle, full-blooded.
Yeah, it was quite scary at times, I thought.
Yeah, there was a lot
of James in it.
A lot of James in it.
He without sin. When I do my
acting on screen,
there's very little else other than
me in it. It's a big dose of key.
I don't tend to put a dollop of much else.
There's certainly no character or anything like that.
So full respect to James for just channeling his rage.
And we all know, look, James has gone on to have an illustrious acting career.
I don't know if you've seen Cinderella.
No, I haven't seen it.
Is he good in it?
He's great.
He's a mouse called John.
Is he live action or does he do a voice?
A bit of both.
Live action footman turns into a mouse
then does the voice.
Oh, great.
He's very good. He's in it with
the other mice that play James Corden
and Romesh Ranganathan.
Amazing. James Corden
plays James the Mouse.
Ramesh plays Ramesh the Mouse
and James Acaster plays John the Mouse
because he was replacing John Mulaney.
Are you joking?
No.
That's really funny.
They didn't change the name of the mouse
and they didn't change the hair and makeup direction
so he has his hair done like John Mulaney.
That's really good. good great isn't it well you sometimes get like scripts and things when you go for an audition that where they've left in who they want to be in it yeah
say you're reading in it says this chap comes in early 40s brackets think Jim Howick and you're reading it and it says this chap comes in, early 40s brackets, think Jim Howick
and you're like, okay, Jim's not
Jim's a busy boy
or the worst is I've had those
when that person then gets the part
yeah
so why did I go in?
yeah
I really liked the performances of all of them
especially Rubber Dub Dub
man Rod was very good I really liked the performances of all of them, especially Rub-a-dub-dub, man.
Rod was very good.
Yeah, it was all very nicely done.
They really committed.
Phil played a very strong character in The Bath.
Yeah.
And just a beautifully paced piece, really.
Did you have any issues with the
story of their piece
that the wife had been
in the bath for nine months
and was pregnant and the man had been downstairs
waiting for his dinner for nine months, did you have any issues
with that as a sort of believable storyline?
Look
with all these things
with all due respect
they've got 20 minutes to come up
with a script and stuff.
They're not going to present Marathon Man, are they?
No, but I just think there's some basic logic issues.
You know, if you're doing a soap opera, soap operas are by their nature supposed to be similar to life, right?
You don't have time to put the thing together.
Logic is the first thing to hit the fucking deck.
And yes, I get it.
I'm not completely wet behind the ears.
I know that pregnant people don't stay in a bath.
I also know that hungry people
don't stay in the kitchen waiting for food.
Having said that,
I was happy to put those two things to one side
and accept that there was another man who was underwater.
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
And it was three points for them.
Cult Attack, The Donners, I think about this a lot.
They're both so good at acting.
Jess's appearance at the window, her first appearance,
is absolutely incredible.
Well, it's very soap opera.
It's exactly what you want.
I mean, it's almost like they've been given the task,
then they've gone home and had six weeks
to research the main sort of tropes
and then come back in and just absolutely nail it.
Yeah, really impressive.
The only issue with theirs, I guess,
was that there was no cliffhanger.
Oh, there was no,
but also, you know,
Horne's performances, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Very, very good, actually.
I thought I enjoyed them.
What's Alex acted in?
Has he had any little roles here and there?
Oh, he came to my house,
came to my flat once
to put himself on tape
playing a homeless man.
And yeah,
it was a pretty bleak half hour, really.
Did he get the part? What do you think? Yeah, of course he didn't. Sorry, I was a pretty bleak half hour, really. Did he get the part?
What do you think?
Yeah, of course he didn't.
Sorry, I was just being generous.
Yeah, well, I mean, I'm always generous.
I think I remember saying that day that wasn't too bad.
But I mean, you know, it was awful.
Awful stuff.
I never said...
Actually, weirdly, I never said...
He gave it to me to...
He gave the email thing for me to send it in.
I just thought, I'm not going to do that.
Like when a gambling addict gives someone a dog to put some money on
and they go, yeah, I've put it on.
But the dog comes home and I haven't put it on.
Horne could be famous if I'd sent that tape in.
Yeah, that was the big Oscar winning
homeless man role, wasn't it?
Yeah.
It was two points for the girls, three points for the boys,
but both excellent, as we say.
That was a real treat.
James, I'm not fed.
I'm pregnant.
Really? I'm pregnant.
Really? I'm going to be a dad? Well, if you're going to bring our little Baba into the world,
then I'm going to make an honest woman of you.
Philippa, will you marry me?
If I'm going to be an honest woman, James,
then I'd better start telling the truth.
There's someone else.
Who? Rub-a-dub-dub! Are you mental? My water's broken! My heart
is broken. Rub-a-dub-dub!
Task three.
In the lab, there are ten pairs of glasses.
The pairs of glasses may not leave the lab
without breaking any of the pairs of glasses.
Put all the pairs of glasses into the smallest of these boxes.
You must select your box before leaving the caravan
and may not change your mind.
Smallest box containing all the pairs of glasses
with the lid shut properly wins.
You have a maximum total time of five minutes.
Your time starts now.
So I want to talk about Wang. I mean yeah this is one of the most impressive um pieces of work i've seen for
a long time yeah on or off the show so it was wang wasn't it he thought well these will be drinking
glasses yeah wang thought thought around it thought through it thought it's clearly not just
going to be as straightforward as this and took a box
big enough to put all the glasses in.
Yeah. Really good.
That's the kind of...
That happens to you once a series.
Yeah.
Where you just go...
And he kept his composure once he'd realised
it was that. I'm surprised.
If I'd got that right, if I'd made that call,
I think I'd have arrived in that. I'm surprised. If I'd got that right, if I'd made that call, I think I'd have arrived
in that room
and celebrated so much.
I'm probably at some point
sweeping all the glasses
off the floor.
Me too.
I'm flicking the Vs to Alex.
I'm really showboating.
I'm really being like,
you tried to trick me,
but you couldn't trick me.
And yeah,
glasses on the floor.
But amazing.
Wang just takes,
I mean,
Wang is going to work
wang's a businessman he needs to get the job done yeah absolutely he arrives at the taskmaster house
and he's there to accumulate points and here's some points accumulated meanwhile yeah not great
not a great showing from a lot of other people here's my question to you tim do you reckon if
you got a small box and took it in there and realized you'd messed up is there a world where
you could just get as many pairs of glasses off the crew etc find some sunglasses put them all in
the lab and then just use those instead yeah that's good that would be argued that would be
good i think you could definitely argue that. Pairs of glasses.
Yeah, I think so.
I mean... I mean, it refers to, in the lab,
there are 10 pairs of glasses,
but you would need to then find glasses
and put them in the lab and say,
oh, these are the ones I'm choosing to believe
that the task refers to.
So it's a tricky argument,
but it's worth a go if you picked a small box by accident.
Yeah, I think so.
I mean, I think you are...
Before they'd done the reveal of the glasses,
my instinct was I go biggest box.
And I just think some people are going to go too small box.
And I'm just definitely getting my three points with this big box.
Yeah, that's a smart way of doing it.
And it would have worked.
And then I suppose then you can put the glasses in
and then you can put some other stuff in as well
you know
is that what you do?
I'd probably put my tracksuit in it
and everything in it
and then just stand there with my boy out
just pointing at the box and going
it feels like the glasses are in there
that's what I mean
you need to think what are the other guys not doing
yeah exactly you've got to add
extra value and getting the boy out
is definitely extra value
Jess managed it
as well but she didn't
Jess's logic was
insane
Jess's logic
was I know what's happening here.
Those fiendish
task setters
are going to go for slightly too big glasses.
They will be glasses. They will be spectacles.
They will be spectacles.
Bigger than you'd imagine.
It's not insane logic, is it? Because she was right that it wasn't
what it was presented
as. All is not what
it seems yeah but but but against you know placing that against um wang you just think
well it makes her look stupid really yeah it's not ideal but she still got the four points you
know she brought in box a packed it all got the four points um
and then carrie go on let me tell you a story about jess napping she sent me a message saying
uh can you write a poem of my brother's 40th how much would that cost to commission it i i don't
know her that well but i know i know her a bit i i like it i replied straight away saying £400.
She replied saying, great. That's great.
Here's some information. I then said to her, it won't cost £400.
It's fine. I'll write it.
But I said, you should get him something else as well.
Spend that £400 on a... For some reason, I was interested in smokers at that time,
you know, like a barbecue?
Yeah.
I said, buy him a smoker from John Lewis.
And she goes, yeah, oh, yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, I'll get him a smoker.
So then I wrote a poem for her brother's 40th.
Yeah.
And framed it and sent it to her.
I think I framed it.
I seem to remember going up there.
Anyway, whatever.
I sent her the poem.
And it was all about a smoker,
him receiving a smoker.
And then she said,
oh, that's great.
Thanks so much for doing that.
And then two days later,
a smoker arrived at my flat.
What?
She bought me a smoker from John Lewis.
You've got a smoker?
I can smoke anything you like.
How often
do you smoke and stuff?
Well, it came right before the pandemic and I've not moved it outside yet.
And I've sent her
one message saying the smoker's
absolutely working fantastically.
I'm like saying,
I barely eat anything that's not smoked
in the podcast
hang on
so before the
you got it before
the pandemic
when we were all
famously locked down
for months on end
and you've got an
outdoor space to use it
it's too heavy
to get out though
what sort of smoker have you got I want a smoker now i've got i've got quite a lot of equipment
out there but oh god a big size smoker i mean it's a pain in the neck having it in my flat for two
years but i'm at edinburgh this year so i've missed another summer i mean i can't just sort
of take it out on september the first guy maybe i can is it a case of next year's edinburgh show having a smoker on stage yeah okay i'll talk to ryan i think some of them are a bit iffy about having
smoke filling their their uh their theaters um let's talk about rod's disaster because he reads
the task out loud seems to fully cogitate it and then immediately leaves the caravan
to go and look in the lab which is specifically
against the rules. That's a concentration
thing and I have to say
I do
I went through
quite a long phase of playing chess with my
friend in the
pub
he's really good at chess
and I'm okay at chess.
But the thing that the thing that that separates us is he
doesn't lose concentration, right? concentration. So I'll
play for the first 10 minutes and we'll be you know, well,
that's stuff we're just sort of moving those things. And then 10
minutes in, I'll just move something thinking, Oh, good,
my guy can eat that guy next next up and then his queen he'll
eat my queen and i'll be like well that's we're done for then you have this sort of half an hour
quietly drinking your pint and quietly losing at chess yeah quietly sort of wasting your thirties
that i mean i guess that happens in no more jockeys quite a lot doesn't it
oh dear yeah it does actually straight. Straight out for Tim. Yeah,
I lose concentration and I often lose
concentration really confidently.
Where someone says,
no more people who
could never
have worn a watch. And I
just go, Graham Gooch?
What are you talking about? He could wear
a watch. And I'm like, oh, I thought you meant they
had to. Oh, it doesn't matter.
Okay,
bye.
So yeah,
I felt for Rod.
That's the sort of thing I'd do.
Read it,
throw it down,
run out,
go and have a look,
come back,
really proud of myself.
Yeah.
Then gradually the penny dropping and thinking,
I've blown it.
It's more embarrassing when,
because he clearly thinks he's found a loophole to the task,
right?
Yeah. Yeah. Poor old Rod, thinks he's found a loophole to the task, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Poor old Rod.
But he's very good otherwise.
Yeah.
It was horrible.
The horrible bit about the task was just seeing ones that almost would fit into the box.
And they're sort of...
It's not nice, is it?
No.
I hate seeing overfilled boxes.
Really? Is that a fear?
It's like one of those kind of like, you know,
cotton wool being pulled apart type things.
Do you not like that either?
Yeah, no, no, I don't really like that at all.
But I don't like woolen gloves.
How long have you not liked woolen gloves?
It's not since the pandemic
or something
I've never
there's that kind of feeling of the touch of them
it goes right through me
interesting we're learning a lot about you Tim
yeah this is my most
exposing interview yet
yeah you've got a smokey you've never used and you don't like woolen gloves
it was
0 points for Rod, two points for James,
three points for Kerry,
four points for Jess
and the big five for Phil,
even though he broke a glass.
And I think Greg was being
slightly over-generous there.
I totally agree.
But he's been very harsh on Phil in the past.
So I feel like this feels like
a little bit of a balancing.
It's like when a referee
accidentally sends someone off from
the wrong from one team and then has to even it up you don't see it you don't like to see it
i think that's what's going on it it was very very um um oh yeah over generous is the right word
he was looking for loopholes himself that's a master character no forgot about his persona do you remember that
day on set did you say anything to greg when he came off set i don't like to because he's got a
job of work to do and like greg is such a pro on set and actually him in fact i don't think anyone
really talk talks to me at all on set i can't remember having a conversation in the last 10 years on set
I hate it on set
yeah
it's a wonder you show up
well it's my job
correct
you've got six pairs of glasses there
not bad
and how do you want the Chessmaster to transport the rest
if I was a removal man and then he was there going well how do you want the Taskmaster to transport the rest? If I was a removal man, and then he was there going,
well, how do you want me to transport the rest?
I'd go, up your ass.
I'd want to break him.
Smallest ass wins.
Thanks very much, guys.
Let's very quickly talk about the live task.
Get your donut as high as possible.
You must be holding hands with the people either side of you at all times.
Highest donut after 100 seconds wins.
If your donut is in the air after 100 seconds,
its height will be measured from where it lands.
Chaos.
Weird.
Yeah, absolute chaos, isn't it?
Absolute carnage.
No good.
No?
No good.
No good. No. Well, you know know when it's your own television program you
sort of look at that sort of stuff and think what is going on here but very impressive to watch rod
work because everyone else is so concerned with fucking each other's donuts up yeah and rod just
very calmly has a plan gets on with it and what will often happen in these live tasks is someone will have a plan.
Other people will see it and they will copy the plan,
but they were so concerned with each other.
They didn't even see Rod's plan come to fruition.
No,
that's the thing you've got to have.
I don't care who you are on that show.
You've got to have a plan.
Yes.
When you watch Rod's plan come into,
into action,
it's a thing of beauty to see a plan like that.
Stunning.
So for the viewer, for the listener,
Rod gets his donut and throws it into the audience.
Yeah.
And also, it's Rod, it's peak Rod.
It's Rod playing his natural game.
Anyone who saw Rod in the cabaret bar doing his mince pie show all those years ago,
you want to see Rod
roaring at the crowd. That's all you want.
Screaming. Getting the crowd
to do something and
trying to explain what they should do by
calling them all fucking idiots.
Yeah, it was good to see.
But, you know, it went higher and higher.
It got to the top.
It worked perfectly.
The cream rises. The cream rises.
The cream rises.
The donut rises.
Kerry, unfortunately, sank
because she let go of everyone's hands
and just picked the donut up and put it on her head.
Well, that was bad.
But wasn't there one person whose donut
ended up lower than the stage?
Jess, yeah, because James kicked her donut off the stage.
James pretty much straight away got it on his head
and just avoided everyone.
He's so lithe, James,
that even though he's holding people's hands,
I feel like he could sort of squiggle away from them.
What do you reckon his weight is these days, James?
Oh, I don't know.
I couldn't put a number on it.
Probably...
What are you thinking?
I reckon he's probably south of 12 stone isn't he
I've got no idea
do you want to text
do you want to text him
yeah
I'll text him
let's see what he
let's see what he has to say
for himself
how are you going to
how are you going to pitch it
I'm just going to say
how much do you weigh
when your last two texts to someone are inviting them to your birthday, how much do you weigh?
It's funny when your last two texts to someone are inviting them to your birthday,
and then how much do you weigh?
I hope he comes back by saying,
I haven't even said I'm coming yet.
Trying to get a rough wake.
Sounds like you're doing a zip line for your birthday.
Kerry got nought points. Jess got two points.
James got three points.
Phil with four points.
And Rod, of course,
a well-deserved five points.
It was a victory for Acaster.
He actually wins quite a few episodes
in the series,
despite coming second bottom.
Yeah, it's funny that.
But I think that you'd want it that way.
I think there was someone in our series
who didn't win any episodes
and finished quite high.
But I think it's quite
nice to win. Actually, no, I disagree.
That's changed my mind. I don't
like winning episodes.
I find it so painful
to be the person at the end.
Well, yeah, the going up on stage and having to interact
with the prizes in a fun way is
quite a tricky thing. To have to think of stuff
to do with all the prizes is hard.
It's absolutely horrible.
I don't mind once I've got them home thinking of stuff to do with them,
but it's just thinking of stuff to do with them in front of an audience.
Yes, yeah.
It's awful, that thing where you travel home with all the prizes, isn't it?
And then you get them in and you lay them all out
and you know exactly what you're going to do with them.
Oh, and then Horn's up there
with him
yeah so at least you've got
Horn to play with as well right
yeah you've got Horn
yeah that's always good
so it was a victory for James
but Kerry's still in the lead
it's still between Kerry and Jess
in the series
and the places are as they fall
by the end of the series.
Tim, tell us where people can buy tickets for your live show, Mulder.
Oh, fantastic.
The basic idea is if you just type in Tim Key,
live dates or something,
you're going to go to the website. But Soho Theatre is where you just type in Tim Key live dates or something, go to the website, but
Soho Theatre is where you can buy tickets
to watch in London.
And then
I'm in Bristol next week, but I think they're sold
out, but you can check. And then in
Manchester in October
and there's one, I think there's one night
they still took tickets for there.
Amazing. It's a fantastic
show. It's a fantastic show.
I ratify that people should go and see it.
Well, that's very, very kind of you.
Tim, it's been such a delight having you back on the
Taskmaster podcast. Will you please rate
your experience on the Taskmaster podcast between
one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster?
Thank you, Tim Key. Five this time.
I enjoyed that. Thank you. What a lot
of fun. It was a lot of fun. Always good to see you.
The technique out of it was
fantastic. Yeah, came off without
a hitch. Came off without a hitch.
And we got
some traction for my
Instagram post. Yes.
The Soho and the
Manchester Dates look like they might get a little
bit of a pick up there.
Yes. And any response from Acaster, Ari Waite?
Let me see.
You'd have thought he would have.
It's one of those things where after 15 minutes,
you look at it and think,
don't love that being sent.
It's sort of more like this evening
where I sort of think
hmm
this could be the last
time we interact.
How much do you weigh?
It looks stark
when you see it
fell out like that.
Well I'm seeing him later
so I'll
I'll double check with him
that he's received it.
If you could yeah.
Yeah absolutely.
Tim thank you so much for coming back on the podcast.
Bye, mate.
Bye, mate.
Thank you very much for coming in, Tim.
Again, he didn't come in anywhere.
Thanks for logging on, Tim.
Typically sort of unfocused and slapdash episode for Key there.
He will not stick to message.
But I will tell you to go and see his show Mulberry,
where he does stick to message.
It's a marvellous, marvellous show.
Timkey.co.uk for ticket details,
Bristol, Manchester, Soho Theatre.
Go and check it out.
Thanks again.
We will see you next week to discuss Series 7,
Episode 7, with another brilliant special guest thank you very much bye
hi it's terry o'reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
where I talked to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,
how a cannabis company competes with big corporations,
how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category,
and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising.
Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.