Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 96. Nish Kumar - S7 Ep.8

Episode Date: September 15, 2022

On this week's podcast Nish Kumar returns to discuss S7 with Ed. There is a lot to cover - Pants on a Stick, Rhod's most unexpected thing and the creepiest t-shirt ever! As well as this they reflect o...n some of Nish's TM moments and make series 14 predictions. Get tickets to the recording of Nish's show Your Power, Your Control here: https://artstheatrewestend.co.uk/events/2022-nish-kumar-your-power-your-control Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated
Starting point is 00:00:32 category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble. I'm the host. Yes, we're going to be chatting about another episode of Taskmaster today. Series 7, episode 8 to be exact. It is amazing how quickly we've raced through series 7. It only feels like yesterday we started talking about it, but we are getting towards the end now.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Only two more episodes remaining after this. But let's not dwell on the future. Let's not wish our lives away. Let's talk about this episode. We have a special guest. It's the wonderful Nish Kumar from Series 5 of Taskmaster and nothing else. The guy doesn't do anything else.
Starting point is 00:01:43 He's just dwelling on his time on Series 5 of Taskmaster. Shame, real The guy doesn't do anything else. He's just dwelling on his time on Series 5 of Taskmaster. Shame, real shame. Don't see that guy anywhere. But it'd be nice to chat to him about all of his thoughts and feelings about this specific episode of Taskmaster and Series 7 in general. Let's have a chat to the wonderful Nish Kumar. But do go and see Nish, actually.
Starting point is 00:02:03 He does a bit of stand-up now and again. And he is filming his brilliant show Your Power Your Control at the Arts Theatre in London he's filming it he's putting he's putting it to tape as it deserves to be because it is an absolutely wonderful show so you must go and see that it is on the 17th of October go to nishkumar.co.uk to buy tickets for that. Or you can find them at artstheatrewestend.co.uk. But enough of that plugging. Let's chat to Nish Kumar about Taskmaster Series 7, Episode 8. Welcome back, Nish, to the Taskmaster podcast.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Great to be back, Eddie. I'm thrilled. Thrilled I tells you. You were last on the podcast with us discussing series five of course which was the series that you were in and some may say. Dominated. Ruined. Dominated. But it's lovely to have you back discussing another series. Do you feel more comfortable talking about other people's other people's efforts or your own i feel well look i think i feel very comfortable everybody knows how bad i was at everything everyone listening to this podcast nobody's getting into taskmaster via this podcast sure so everybody knows how bad i am so there's no point in me trying to be like oh no yeah no I'm an expert. I'm an absolute expert.
Starting point is 00:03:26 I'm a Taskmasterologist. But do you think when you're watching other series of Taskmaster, when you're removed from that situation, do you think you're better at doing Taskmaster in your head than you were practically? Do you come up with ideas that you wouldn't have come up with
Starting point is 00:03:40 when you were actually doing it? No, because sometimes I see people doing stuff. That's a flat no. Sometimes I see people doing stuff. That's a flat no. Sometimes I see people doing stuff and I'm like, yeah, that's a good one. That's a good idea. That's how you do it. Good work, good work, Phil Wang.
Starting point is 00:03:55 The only person who would ever think good work, Phil Wang is Nish Kumar. I, listen, I saw your meltdown on Champion of Champions and I was like, I can't say I wouldn't have done anything differently. Oh, I was very much channelling Nish. That was who I was channelling. The screeching, the swearing, fumbling, dropping stuff. It was pure Kuma.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Now, Series 7, have you, you must have seen Series 7. Of course I've seen Series 7. of course I've seen series 7 of course I've seen series 7 and I've seen it for two reasons and both of them are Phil Wang's testicles I think we were all expecting James Acaster to get a look into those two things there but it's all about the testes obviously
Starting point is 00:04:42 I watched it to see what Acaster was going to get up to obviously i watched it james and i believe i think this is still the case you'll be able to tell me if it's not i believe james and i remain the only two people escorted off the main set yes i believe so well not i i believe there was there was an uh an instant where um joe wilkinson went off set and they deliberated over whether he should be allowed to have some points. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:09 And certainly Bridget Christie played it pretty fast and loose with the social distancing. Sure. I mean, she was over to Greg like a shot, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But as far as I know, you're the only people who've been escorted from the set and had to have a little word with.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. A good talking to, yes. And Bridget Christie is the only Taskmaster contestant to have rubbed their groin in the face of the Taskmaster. To have straddled, Greg. To have straddled the Taskmaster. Yet, you know, yet. There's plenty of series to come.
Starting point is 00:05:42 O'Briain! I'm looking at you, green let's let's briefly talk about series 14 because very exciting huge lineup absolutely huge lineup yes it's a great lineup do you have any predictions as to who'll be good who'll be terrible uh who'll be rubbing their crotch in greg's face well i mean I kind of want to see Dara attempt it. I kind of want to... I'm looking forward to the slash fiction between Dara and Greg.
Starting point is 00:06:13 That is one enormous sweating mess. That's not an answer we've had so far. Very few people are looking forward to the slash fiction. I'm happy to be proved wrong about this.. I'm happy to be proved wrong about this. I'd be thrilled to be proved wrong about this. John Kearns reeks of Kumar. John Kearns absolutely reeks of my level of competency. I know what you mean.
Starting point is 00:06:38 I know what you mean. Reeks of it. Reeks of it. People should know that everybody is very disciplined about task was so i saw john i saw john two days ago yeah and he's not he's remaining tight-lipped about his yes success is the only conversation i've ever had with somebody about their time on taskmaster before it aired was when you said to me there'll be a bit you enjoy uh which was your breakdown on champion of champions and bridget saying do you think they'll use the bit when i rub my groin in greg's
Starting point is 00:07:09 face and me having to patiently explain that i felt it was on balance likely to make the edit yeah quite possibly it might make the edit i love it when people say things like that or they have a complete meltdown and mess up a task really badly and they'll go, oh, maybe they won't use that one. It's like, no. It's not like any other TV show. You're not in a drama where you fuck up a scene and they have to get another one.
Starting point is 00:07:33 They will definitely use it. Taskmaster is all bloopers. When they started the Sudoku one, I thought, oh God, here we go. Because that was one that I really vividly remembered and you're like, oh God, here we go because that was one that I really vividly remembered and you're like oh god here we go here we go indeed how did you feel after that so that was you you had a camera strapped to your head didn't you and you had to do something exciting yeah yeah yeah I
Starting point is 00:07:56 think you had to do something amazing and I thought wouldn't it be amazing if I just filled out a sudoku like I was doing it like I could solve it at the speed of writing. How did you feel after you'd done that? Straight after you'd done that, did you think, oh, I've nailed that? No, after I did that, I thought, let's hope that one gets snip, snip, snipped. But it did not. And that led to Greg's pretty stern words to me. Yeah, when that particular task, every other time you screwed up, I found it absolutely hilarious, off the
Starting point is 00:08:28 sofa, clapping and laughing and cheering and screaming. That one, I out loud went, oh Nish. Oh no. Well, I think that's why Greg felt the need to take me. You're not a bad guy, Nish. Really let yourself down. You're not a bad guy,
Starting point is 00:08:44 Nish. It's the words I fear will be on my tombstone. So we think Kearns is a Kumar. I think Kearns absolutely reeks of me. That would be my first key prediction.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I think Fern might be very good. Fern's definitely someone who you think might go all out, right? Yeah, who you think might go all out, right? Yeah, I think Fern might go all out. I think Fern... I've just got a feeling that Fern is going to be very good.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Yeah. I'm excited to see what Munya does with Taskmaster. Yeah, me too. I mean, Munya's so talented. And also, what I'm looking forward to is something that you don't necessarily see when he does his consistently viral videos. And I think we've only got a taste of
Starting point is 00:09:35 on his episode of Off Menu is quite how weird a guy he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got some of the strangest stories you've ever heard his whole backstory is absolutely bonkers there's a lot of big characters in Munya's life
Starting point is 00:09:50 and I suspect some of them might get a mention over the course of the show I think Greg's going to have a lot of fun with that slash be absolutely baffled by Munya I'm excited about the Davies Millican dynamic because it's always exciting when Greg is
Starting point is 00:10:06 faced with one of his I guess near contemporaries yeah I always think of Sarah as being like a similar era of comic to you know if you if comedians get sort of divided up into school years I think of Sarah and Greg as being like similar sort of eras and Yes. I mean, that's always exciting when Greg is faced with... Greg is forced to confront one of his contemporaries who has much less respect for him than everyone else. Well, we're looking forward to it very much. We're not here to talk about that.
Starting point is 00:10:54 We're here to talk about Series 7, Episode 8, Mother Honks Her Horn. The prize task, Nish, is the creepiest thing. I mean, absolutely disgusting. A-caster. What a creepy man. I mean, but Kaster what a creepy man I mean but Kettering clearly a very creepy place I've been to Kettering with James
Starting point is 00:11:12 and it is a weird and quite unsettling place yeah but this is particularly I mean it's bad enough that Acaster already as a bloke looks like he's in the nightmare before Christmas like as a bloke he looks like a Henry Selick animation and yet now he's in the nightmare before Christmas. Like as a bloke he looks like a Henry Selick animation and yet now he's walking around with mummified cats. Disgusting. The
Starting point is 00:11:30 guy does not help himself. He didn't bring, did he bring the mummified cat? Surely not. No, I think he offered it up. I think it's even worse than that. It would have been a stolen mummified cat from a museum. Well this is why I don't think it's a good prize. I think it needs to be a prize that you actually bring in. I hate to sound like it's a good prize i think it needs to be a prize that you actually bring in i don't i hate to sound like a stickling ish but i think it needs to actually be love to sound like a stickler one of your favorite things is being a stickler i'm a stickleback you're a stick you're a stickleback diabetes good old stickleback diabetes that's
Starting point is 00:12:02 what they call you that's my latin name um yeah i think i love the idea and the picture of it's great and it's obviously clearly creepy but is he just bringing in the concept of a mummified cat or a picture of a mummified cat in my head he's brought in the promise of the mummified cat so i think the promise is he's going to break into the museum and steal it or take someone to the museum to look at it, I guess. Yeah, or take someone to... I don't think that's enough for a prize star. But still, very unsettling stuff. Oh, yeah, very unsettling indeed.
Starting point is 00:12:30 And lovely to have a little insight into the people of Kettering. I've been there as well. There's a Blitz-themed cafe. Yeah, that's very strange. Yeah, a Blitz-themed cafe and a mummified cat. That's what we're talking about. But obviously, I'm not touring there, but if you're listening to this in the future and i'm touring to catering it's lovely please come um let's talk about that was four points which is
Starting point is 00:12:55 pretty good let's talk about wang let's get wang out of the way because wang had an absolute nightmare that we've seen many times on Taskmaster before where he presents something, everyone's reaction to it is immediately terrible and he realises he's screwed up. That's the best thing about Wang's whole contribution to this series is
Starting point is 00:13:17 he knows it's going badly. Oh God, yeah. He's not... As it's happening, you can see him going, this is getting away from me. Yeah, yeah. It's just quite a nice painting.
Starting point is 00:13:27 There's times where he's upset about it. There's times he's upset about it. There's times where he revels in it. But yeah, I mean, this painting, it's when everyone agrees when it comes up that it's quite nice. It's a nice painting. What I didn't understand, is it a finger painting? Is that what he's saying?
Starting point is 00:13:43 That it was done, somebody did it with, like by dipping their finger in paint? And Is that what he's saying? That it was done, somebody did it with, like, by dipping their finger in paint? And that's why he's saying it's creepy, but that's just a way of painting, right? And they've done a really good job. Yeah, it does feel a bit like, and then he, like, got this weird, like, a small brush
Starting point is 00:13:57 and dipped it in yellow water and red water and then made a drawing of a bear called rupert just someone doing a painting just doing a painting of rupert the bear disgusting whatever happens even though it was a bad prize task at one point it leads to one of my favorite lines in the whole of the series um when phil's saying it happened to newcastle that's creepy what happened to the old car yeah yeah that's great it's so funny phil wang terrible taskmaster contestant very funny comedian great comedian what happened to the old castle i thought jess was a bit underscored here because i thought these christmas cards were great she actually brought them in it's something
Starting point is 00:14:40 it's something she had anyway and i love the way she runs through them. I think it's really funny. The dead frog was particularly horrible. Yeah. The dead frog and the dead robin. Yeah, the dead robin. The beetle and the frog. Yeah, I think I would say if there's one that was underscored, it was this one.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I would potentially have switched James and Jess in this task. Yes. Well, James gets four. this task. Yes. Well, James gets four. No one gets three. Kerry gets five, a well-deserved five. Well-deserved. A T-shirt she spotted someone wearing on the train that says, I'm not a gynecologist,
Starting point is 00:15:16 but it'll have a damn good look for you. It's not even grammatically correct. The worst. It is the definition of creepy. It's somebody who's seen a female body inspector t-shirt and thought hold on a second that's hold on a second that's that this is far too clever this is far too clever a pun for the good decent people they're gonna have to sit there and work that out i'm not i'm not leaving anything to chance there going to be no nuance in this T-shirt. Not like this female body.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Also, what's really funny about it, that Kerry does sort of allude to, is it's like, it's that sexy thing to be like, oh, I'm going to give you a real pap smear, baby. Oh, yeah. I'm going to examine you in a clinical way. It's also because Kerry uses the word stirrup, pop me in the stirrups.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Yeah, that's so funny. Is that the implication? It's like, oh, yeah, sexy, sexy, cold metal stirrups. I'm going to put you in a gown with no trousers and pants. Also, there's so much detail in what, like, I'm not a gynecologist. Just to let you know up top, you know, I'm not going to try and convince you that I am a gynecologist. I'm not that creepy. I'm not going to try and convince you that i am a gynecologist i'm not that creepy i'm not going to lie to you yeah i'm a creep but i strongly believe in honoring medical qualifications disgusting yeah absolutely disgusting i definitely
Starting point is 00:16:37 think that that's one that even the precogs on minority report would not need to see coming that that is a sex criminals t-shirt yeah you don't need to see coming, that that is a sex criminal's t-shirt. You don't need to pop Samantha Morton in a milk bath to see that person potentially committing a sex crime. Also, I want to know if that t-shirt actually exists or whether that is a homemade t-shirt someone made that they had to recreate. So I'm going to, I am going to
Starting point is 00:16:59 at the risk of I'm, okay. I'm not a gynaecologist shirt. Here we go. No, it exists. Does it exist sans apostrophe? I'm not a gynaecologist, but I will take a look. I mean, it seems to be a meme.
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah, I'm not a gynaecologist, but I'll take a look. None of them have the level of detail that the that the one that uh so so let's be clear kerry saw a man in a homemade i'm not a gynecologist but it'll take a look t-shirt yeah yeah and i wonder whether a member of production has made their own one for the show and unfortunately left an apostrophe out i don't't know. The apostrophe is a detail. If there's one thing I would say about the production team on Taskmaster is that they are very much detail orientated. Yes, that's true.
Starting point is 00:17:52 And perhaps the guy wearing that T-shirt is not. Yeah. And so I would say that feels like a detail that Kerry remembered from the T-shirt and had them recreate. Yes. Let's talk about Rod's video of him inside greg's let's talk about rod gilbert breaking into greg's house right interesting you say that he's i think he was there already and then greg said i thought i saw you out i guess there was a party or something
Starting point is 00:18:20 yeah right right right and he snuck back in or just hung out there but because greg has had his life greg has had his personal belongings violated before because you didn't you steal a pair of his trousers i did watson for mark watson and then i actually also stole a uh stuffed falcon from his house for my series of tasks yes but he did get his revenge on you if memory serves i don't i'm not actually sure this is in the final cut of the episode, but it is available as an extra on YouTube. As a blooper. Yeah, of you left your swimming trunks at his house
Starting point is 00:18:54 and he is wearing them. He was wearing them under his trousers whilst we were recording the episode. Madness. Absolute madness. So he won that one. Yeah, he definitely won that exchange and it's a clip where i would advise people to check out because there is a moment before it is revealed where ed
Starting point is 00:19:12 knows what's happened yeah i genuinely completely forgot i'd left those swimming trunks there and he uh i mean they were left at the studio that night there's no way i'm putting those swimming trunks again on again after he's pushed his genitals through the netting thank you but but yeah so that was a that was a less successful version of utilizing greg's personal life. Rod absolutely nailed it. Whereas this is very successful. Rod gets in the cupboard and he's filming Greg.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Here would be my worry. I'm in Greg's wardrobe, filming him while he was asleep, get the video, then it's time to leave and sneak out, right? Greg wakes up, sees a shadowy figure. Yeah. If Greg woke up and saw a shadowy figure just in his house that person would be dead within a second yeah yeah greg would destroy them
Starting point is 00:20:12 just arms flailing straight towards you it's like being run over by a tank i'd be terrified definitely was playing with fire here yeah Yeah. And he earned his maximum points. He did. He did. But Rod is, I'd say, out of everyone who's ever been on Taskmaster, the most psychotically committed to the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he also seems to get no joy from it either.
Starting point is 00:20:35 So he did that. He threw a javelin through a caravan. There's the thing coming up in this episode with the water feature where he seems to have no... He's not laughing. No. He's not excited. He's not even happy when he gets the points.
Starting point is 00:20:50 He's just doing the worst thing he can possibly think of. The worst thing he could possibly do. The only joy he gets is when he's really doing something upsetting to Greg. The repeated deployment of Greg in his underpants is the thing that seems to bring Rod the most joy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, not even this, when he's doing this.
Starting point is 00:21:08 Just terrifying. So it was five points for Rod, five points for Kerry, four points for James, two points for Jess, and one point for Phil. Oh, dear. Phil was lucky to get his one point. I would say Phil and James were overscored in that round. Yeah, I'd say so.
Starting point is 00:21:22 I mean, this is... I mean, it feels like I'm saying this every week, but this is not a good episode for Phil. Although, I will say this is, at one point they revealed the series scores and this is eight episodes in, so it is probably quite a good barometer
Starting point is 00:21:37 because my series is eight episodes long. Phil's outscored me. Right, James Acaster, I imagine you've brought in a really creepy thing. I come from a town called Kettering in Northamptonshire. In Kettering, there's a museum called the Manor House Museum, and the main attraction in the Manor House Museum is a mummified cat. Alex, please.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Here's a mummified cat. Oh! God! Oh Oh! God! Oh, my God! It is a mummified cat that's found in a wall in a building in Kettering. In the past, it was good luck to keep a cat in the walls. A live one. Actually, that wasn't specified.
Starting point is 00:22:22 A really strong start. It's creepy. Creepy. And it's the first thing ever that's made me want to visit catering task one uh poke something out of the hole in the roof of this grotto least expected thing poked through wins you have 20 minutes your time starts now this is a really hard task i think hard task very hard task and you can see that by the fact that three people who are very inventive and very funny all go with clothing, basically. And that was my first thought as well.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Like, sort of pants, really, is one of the only options. I mean, listen. James Acaster's underpants and I have a storied history. Only because it turned out there was a period of a year where I was accidentally wearing a set of his underpants. Do you not know? Surely you know about this. Was this when we all lived together? Yeah, when we all lived together, some of his pants got mixed into one of my washes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:20 And I just started wearing them. I didn't even question it. I was like, I don't recognise those underpants, but I guess started wearing them. I didn't even question it. I was like, I don't recognise those underpants, but I guess they're mine. What style of pants were we talking? Was it the pants from the stick? I'll say this. If you saw those pants, you'd go, those are Ray Caster's pants. It's a regrettable mistake on my part.
Starting point is 00:23:39 They just got mixed into my wash. I washed them. Did you just say a regrettable mistake on your butt? That's what I heard. It's a regrettable mistake on your butt that's what i heard it's a regrettable mistake on my part my parts and my butt so there was a year where i did wear i can't remember how it resolved itself i think he then came back to the house yeah and said saw the pants drying and said those are my underpants brilliant he was thrilled about it for some reason.
Starting point is 00:24:06 He thought it was hilarious. Yeah, that's right up his street. Of course. He'd been wearing his pants for a year. These were not the same pants. These look like a more normal pair. The pants that I was wearing looked like Acaster's underpants. That's all I'll say. Pants on a stick
Starting point is 00:24:22 is obviously great. He has the same trouble as everyone else in that that's sort of one of the only things you can do really because there's nothing about it pants on a stick is route one that's you that's everybody's first thought and yeah justifiably so the song adds to it definitely the song definitely adds to it and you know james is nothing if not a musician. As we find out even more. As we find out even more, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:52 And Kerry goes bra and Phil goes entire jumpsuit. I think Phil should have got an extra point for being less body conscious. James covers up the camera to take his pants off. Obviously, it's a different part of the body. Kerry goes in a bush to take a bra off. And Phil just whips that fucking bad boy off. Phil doesn't even hesitate. It's brilliant. He does not even hesitate for one second
Starting point is 00:25:10 before he removes his Bruce Lee jumpsuit. To be fair, it's not like we don't know every single contour of his body when he's got it on. There's a section later, I can't remember which task it is, but the suit, it seems to entirely be up his arsehole i can't remember what task it's in but the entire he's his arsehole seems to have absorbed the entire bruce lee suit it's one of the most extraordinary things i've ever seen in my life oh wow yeah i i know exactly
Starting point is 00:25:43 what you mean there's moments and shots where you're just like that that ass is eating that jumpsuit just consumed it chewing it up oh my god it's like me and all he can eat buffet is just hoovered it up it's hoovered it up there oh well look i think phil deserved an extra point for stripping off so freely yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but you've got two points the same as Kerry and James. Kerry definitely wrong-foots you by going into the woods. I think Horne says that. He says he was surprised by it because Kerry
Starting point is 00:26:11 just sort of wandered off into some foliage and then emerged with a bra. I have to say, when the bra appeared, I was like, I hope that's Kerry's bra. Not when she's just found in a river. Yeah, exactly. I had a small query. So it's supposed to be Not when she's not ever. She's just found in a river. Yeah. Um, here's,
Starting point is 00:26:26 I had a, I had a small query. So it's supposed to be at least expected thing, put a thing, poke through. And then Alex was saying he expected Phil to take the jumps, poke the jumps out. Cause he saw him getting changed.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Alex shouldn't have been looking. No horn. You dirty little pervert. He shouldn't have been looking because it's supposed to be least expected thing. And I don't know whether that's for him or us or Greg, but either way i don't think you should have been looking through the hole yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah although it does lead to a very funny exchange where phil says he shouldn't have looked at the monitors and alex says there was a big hole at the top it was i think i think you were supposed to surprise alex because that's why i think kerry gets marked up slightly because
Starting point is 00:27:03 she sort of wrong-footed him by disappearing into the undergrowth by taking the bra off in the bush um jess this was a nice this was a nice really good doing it and uh really good the task set on fire he wasn't expecting fire it was great not the my favorite of this one easily my favorite effort not because it was the most surprising the rods one is the most surprising yes but it's also truly upsetting image uh whereas actually uh jess uh that that was my favorite one of the tasks because it didn't make me physically ill yeah yeah i mean and you can tell it's unexpected because if anyone had been expecting to some for someone to set something on fire on a dry day in the woods they would absolutely stop them doing it that could have been expecting for someone to set something on fire on a dry day in the woods they would have absolutely stopped them doing it.
Starting point is 00:27:47 That could have been the end of Taskmaster. Yeah, that could have been the end of Taskmaster and the end of some woods I'm guessing in Chiswick. Yeah, I'm guessing somewhere near Alex's house. The old Chiswick fire. Where everything got set on fire. yeah but great i really liked it and also i just love the
Starting point is 00:28:10 way jess presents that every time she presents something she's proud of it's so funny yeah that's which which is what makes her falling off the stage even funnier is that she's really the lead up to it she's really she's really presenting it i mean it is outstanding it's so outstanding we talked about talked about that last week it's absolutely brilliant right um let's let's get to it then it may make you feel physically sick mish but let's talk about let's talk about alex horn's ass talk about let's talk about rod turning alex into a water feature by pulling his trousers down and his pants. I guess you have to say, I guess you have to say
Starting point is 00:28:50 putting Alex Horne's cock and balls very near his face. You've got to say that. It's so close. I think it's the most intimate contact that you can have with a person without having sex with them. Now, it's not even the closeness of the genitals that made it feel intimate to me. I think he has to reach under and between Alex's legs.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Yes, that's right. You know what? It is perineal contact that really drives this to a new level of intimacy. At a certain point, he may as well have sucked him off. That's all I'm saying. I understand that this is a family show and he may as well have sucked him off. That's all I'm saying. I understand that this is a family show and he probably couldn't have done that. But at a certain point, he may as well have just... If you've touched someone's perineum, you may as well suck them off. And you can quote me on that.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Yeah. I mean, bear in mind the first episode, he's already made Alex wear bikini bottoms and take them off. Yes, yes. So he's what I would describe as anally fixated on Alex. He's really trying to show Alex's entire body on television. Yeah, he really is. I mean, it is hilarious though. The pressure that the water seems to shoot out under. Yeah, oh my god. He's followed the task to an out under yeah just oh my god it's it's it he's
Starting point is 00:30:07 followed the task to an absolute t it's brilliant it's a surprising thing to come out of the hole and let me tell you he surprises the hell out of alex horn oh yeah yeah it is the thing that when i was re-watching this episode yesterday in my house with my partner that made her say no sir that was her exact response no No, sir. No, sir. Now, obviously, I think that, I also think this task, Rod's version of this task, inspired the water feature,
Starting point is 00:30:35 create a water feature task in series nine. It feels like sometimes they get little ideas from things that people do and turn them into whole tasks. Yeah, yeah. So I was very happy to be part of that lineage of turning Alex into into a into a great so it was a well-deserved five points uh for psychotic very i don't want to say well i don't want to give any suggestion that i endorse what happened i will simply say it was a deserved
Starting point is 00:31:00 five points i deserve five points for rod uh four points points for Jess. Nice for Alex to have a nice clean ass. Oh, God. It's so good to... You know what, Nish? We often talk about the differing cultural anal hygiene routines. And it's nice for Alex to get a proper dousing. Where my POC taskmaster fans at? Finally, a white guy with a clean butthole.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Am I right? Am I right? TOCs, taskies of colour. Am I right? Jess got four points. Me and Romesh didn't see the problem with that. That's all I'm saying. You've got to hose it off, guys.
Starting point is 00:31:52 Two points for everyone else who put their clothes or underwear on a stick. Some classical music would be nice. Okay, one minute, pop your leg. Should I hold it? Okay, if you bend right down, head right down, Alex, please. Right down. I don't wanna open it.
Starting point is 00:32:07 That tickles. Okay. You've got 30 seconds, Rob. Okay. Oh! Oh! okay i've run out of water so that is uh that is the water feature closed for today kids okay okay
Starting point is 00:32:36 disinformation makes it harder to find information you can trust especially on social media and it Thank you. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store
Starting point is 00:33:49 and ACAS Creative. Task two is the sort of treasure hunt one. I'm not going to read out all the parts because it would take ages. But basically each one has a letter and sends you to a new place in very very good task and then the final one is s at the beginning and the clue is you have to put the s at the beginning and then it leads to scream um it's a fun task really fun and it really i think it really lays bare people's urgency and uh and will and just general sort of enthusiasm for taskmaster i think
Starting point is 00:34:27 carrie goes so hard so fast yeah i mean carrie goes hard and fast but acaster acaster approaches it with a methodical precision of a serial killer acaster like zodiacs this task yeah he just he because also he doesn't seem to be like running at any great speed, but he just moves like a Terminator. Well, he knows exactly where he's going every time. So there's no need for him to run really. Cause everyone else was panicking and running around.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Phil again, Phil fucking Winnie the Poohing it everywhere. Just walking around going to lab. Where's the lab? You definitely know where the lab is Phil.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Even if this is your first day, they should, they take you around and they show you everything and say, this is the lab, where's the lab? You definitely know where the lab is, Phil. Even if this is your first day, they take you around and they show you everything and say, this is the lab, this is the caravan. At no point does anyone not tell you what the lab is. The lab. My favourite bit is just this one shot of Phil just walking outside in the garden on the side. Just the one bit of the house,
Starting point is 00:35:22 there was simply no reason for him to be. Why is he, there's not it doesn't even connect one bit that he needed to go to to another no he's just outside yeah it's everything he needs is inside but yeah you all you need to do is open the front door to get to the doormat there's no reason for you to be at the side of that house i guess the little blue book is the only confusing one where you think maybe it's in the caravan, maybe it's somewhere else. Yeah, of course, of course, serial killer, a James portrait of a serial killer, Acaster had already spotted the blue book.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Already spotted that in another task, always looking around. Always looking around, always looking around for clues. He's watched the show a lot. He knows exactly what he's in for. Well, he's watched the show a lot. I think, he's in for well he's watched the show a lot i i think i mean alex says that he knows the show better than anyone i don't think that's true i think i i imagine jack bernhardt was rolling in his grave i think i think bernhardt could have uh
Starting point is 00:36:18 have a better claim also yeah and i've said this before um j James only watched the show after he was booked for the show. And he watched all of it straight after he was booked for it. So that's why he knew the show, because it was fresh in his mind, because he probably finished watching it the day he arrived for that task. Some of us were longstanding fans, eh, Castor? Yeah, some of us watched it even when they thought there was absolutely no hope of them being booked for it ever. James only watches TV he's on. That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Yeah, that's it. We're going to have to set him up for a cameo on the new Game of Thrones, otherwise he's never going to see it. He had spotted the book before and is aware of his surroundings, but he was so worried all the time that they were trying to screw him over.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yes, yes, yes. So he was constantly looking out for things because that is james's personality paranoia that everyone's out for him everyone's out to get him yeah which can serve you well in taskmaster but other times can't because some of the tasks are just simple yeah it's not like there's not a trick but i think definitely overcooks a few of them yeah yeah like could be concerned that he's being murked but on this occasion it worked very well for him he did it in three minutes well he was he was being worked they were all being worked yeah yeah he does it but it's it's a real exercise in more haste less speed yeah yeah i think so because rod does things really fast but then throws the tasks away each time so then has no idea what each letter is and then gets so worried about the little blue book that he's
Starting point is 00:37:52 searching for it on Alex and at one point does again he does grab his butt again he's like trying to take his clothes off it's honestly it's likene is like a brown guy trying to clear airport customs in 2002. Like, it's like, he is intimately searched for that book. Yeah, it is amazing. And also, why is it more likely that the book would be up Alex's arse
Starting point is 00:38:15 than on a fake bookshelf? I don't, Rod dismissed it. He's like, they're all fake. Are they all fake, Rod? Are they, Rod? Have you looked properly?
Starting point is 00:38:22 Bearing in mind you're willing to look inside a man's ass. Maybe just take another look at that bookshelf for me, brother. Come on, brother. Have a little look. But this is one of the ones that Rod doesn't care about, I think. He's so willing to lose and take a lot of time if he does something funny. And that happens quite a lot with him.
Starting point is 00:38:44 He's more committed to the joke or doing something outrageous than he is, than he is winning points here. And Phil, obviously with toddles around, takes his time. It has a lovely stroll. Yeah. Has a lovely little stroll with his,
Starting point is 00:38:56 while his, while his suit slowly gets eaten by his butt cheeks. And Jess and Kerry just, they're very, I mean, they're very good competitors, you know. Yeah, very good stuff. Very good stuff from them.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Very good stuff from them. Nabbit and Goldman. S, at the beginning, fastest wins. What? S, at the beginning. Creams. At the beginning. What?
Starting point is 00:39:26 No-one says that, do they, creams? No. Scream! SCREAMS APPLAUSE Creams at the beginning? Creams at the beginning? Is it like a...
Starting point is 00:39:42 ..a situation where people have creams at the beginning? S. Oh! a situation where people have creams at the beginning? S. Oh! Oh! Task three. Compose the best 30-second piece of music. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now.
Starting point is 00:39:59 This is a task I like to call the arrogance of James Acaster. The humbling of James Acaster. The humbling of James Acaster. The humbling of James. He is livid when he doesn't get the five points here. Because he's like, oh, played right into my hands here. This is going to be great. That is the absolute classic Taskmaster hubris.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Anytime you see someone say, this is played right into my hands, you think you're not getting maximum points out of this. Yeah, no way. It happens over and over again. No way. Because, yeah, look, it is good. I mean, let's talk about Over My Shoulder by Clump Stump.
Starting point is 00:40:40 It is good, but... Also, not his weirdest band name. I feel that we should confirm that when Alex lists the band names, they are all real band names. They are all true. Pin Drop, The Wow Scenario, the new hardcore skiffle movement, Three Line Whip and the Capri Sun Quartet are all real bands James Acaster was in.
Starting point is 00:40:58 Yeah, it is good, but also what James needs to remember is the music he likes is so weird. I will say this. As someone who has listened to an album by The Wow Scenario, Over My Shoulder would not be out of place. The sudden time signature changes would not be out of place on a Wow Scenario album.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Yeah. And I dig it. I like Over My Shoulder. Yeah. It's good stuff. But you've got to remember you're appealing to greg who doesn't like stuff like that no no it's not it's not his taste what he likes is the easy triangles with here i am the easy triangles the easy triangles yeah i mean this is this is classic nappet
Starting point is 00:41:39 the easy triangles is classic nappet because she's so happy that it's happening. Yeah, thrilled. This is when Greg compares it to a Sesame Street. Another one of his brutally accurate takedowns. Charlotte Ritchie's a children's TV presenter. Mark Watson looks like a heron. These are classic Davies takedowns. It is a good jig, isn't it? And it leads to Alex jigging with Greg holding the baby reins. And I want everyone to go back and watch that now.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Because when Greg is holding the baby reins and Alex is jigging, you will never see Greg Davis happier than that. No, he's thrilled. He's kicking his legs around. He looks about five. He's giddy. I would say that's one of the things that pushes the song over the edge. I think so.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I think that's an example of something that happens in the studio that puts a bit of extra mustard sauce on someone's effort. Yeah. And I think that's what pushes it over the edge because that is a sensational moment. Yeah, that is amazing.
Starting point is 00:42:39 Also, Horn is thrilled. Yeah, so good. I've never seen a baby look so thrilled to be in a baby harness. They hate it when they're in the harness. Horn can't believe his luck. It is amazing. I mean, it deserved the five points. It was a good jig.
Starting point is 00:42:53 It was a very good jig. It's a great jig presented with an almost homicidal air of optimism by Jess Naffitt, which is sort of her default setting. Talking of homicidal, let's talk about rod gilbert yeah um the little match girls with the ballad of the toothless goon why is that where his mind went immediately i have no idea well his his mind very rarely goes somewhere immediately he will sit there yeah up to 15 minutes with his hands over his eyes um this one seemed to happen quite quickly if you're to believe the edit um but i mean it's a fantastic song i love fantastic i love the story sure
Starting point is 00:43:33 here's something we've got to talk about though nish and i hate to be a party pooper it was a minute and a half long it was i mean it should have been stricken for the record. I agree with Phil Wang's frustration. Yes. Because it should have been stricken for the record. They were tasked with composing a 30-second song. Yeah. And Rod Gilbert did a Yes album.
Starting point is 00:43:59 It should have been. Here's what my judgment would have been. You can only judge the first 30 seconds yes that's right yes which would have left which would have left rob rod in a difficult position because it would have been nonsense nonsense so i i think for me you're docking at least two points from that yeah off his mitt cave song yeah i think it should have been a two-point thing we can admire it as a piece of art but within the rules of the task it's two points yeah yeah absolutely it's two points as well Phil's was two points I was gutted for him I
Starting point is 00:44:29 think it was scored quite harshly yeah I thought it was quite I thought it was quite pleasant yeah I thought it was pleasant it was sure it wasn't funny but that wasn't that that wasn't the task it was actually it was quite funny when he did little pops on the trumpet yeah when he did when he farted on the trumpet yeah and he gets sound out of the trumpet yeah so i enjoyed that yeah you know i think two points felt harsh i think it's easily as good as carrie's who's 100 quite frankly is bad at points and at one point the band are laughing it's so bad they're laughing to each other about how bad it is also my absolute favorite thing it because you see a lot of films about musicians where they kind of some moment of inspiration strikes them uh and um you know like someone says you can't
Starting point is 00:45:13 walk a line he's like oh my god that's a great song idea but what i like is seeing carrie just go can you just go all right now i want you to go... Like all the great composers. It absolutely strips out... It absolutely strips out all of the artifice of musical composition. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Right, you go... So you could do, give me this chord, give me that chord. Yeah, sure. Not as arrogantly as they have to go and play the Hendrix chord. Play the Hendrix chord. Play the Hendrix chord.
Starting point is 00:45:53 E7 with an augmented ninth, James, if we're being technical about this. Yeah. See, and then saying things like, I'm a percussionist myself. Yeah. I'm so glad you didn't get full points. Of course, everyone is.
Starting point is 00:46:10 Surely everyone is thrilled. Yeah, and he claps, Jess. You see him clapping at the end. I've never seen him try and cover up anger before. I've never seen him actually try and conceal rage. It's beautiful. Phil's was scored harshly and I think Kerry's was scored a little bit a little bit highly but it was just for the win I agree with the way with so it was two points for Phil three points for Kerry four points for clump. Four points for The Little Match Girls,
Starting point is 00:46:46 epic ballad. And five points for Jess with The Easy Triangles. It's an E7 sharp ninth, I apologise, not an augmented ninth. That's a different call. Looks like someone else has been rightly brought back down to earth. Can we dig down into what the lyrics are about? Because I know what the spirit of punk is all about. Yeah. Not conforming, not fitting in,
Starting point is 00:47:08 not being told to do by the man upstairs. It's how you've got to look over your shoulder your whole life. Yeah. Cos you never know who's sneaking up on you. Yeah. You can't trust no-one. And that's why I sing, over my shoulder, older and older, that's what I told you. But then you started getting... You said, I'm getting colder. Getting colder. I'm getting colder.
Starting point is 00:47:27 And then you wondered if something was a boulder or not. Is that a boulder? Yeah. Is that a boulder? That's a metaphor for what? Like, is that a boulder? Yeah. Or is it a big rock? LAUGHTER The live task. Bob when you hear the surname of a famous Bob. Pat when you hear the surname of a famous Pat. Neil when you hear the surname of a famous bob pat when you hear the surname of a famous pat neil when you hear the surname of a famous neil stew when you hear the surname of a
Starting point is 00:47:49 famous stew wayne when you hear the surname of a famous wayne if you do an incorrect action or fail to do any action within 10 seconds of hearing the name you're disqualified last person correctly bobbing patting kneeling stewing or waning wins this is a task that i would use to explain the appeal of the show yes that you would would use to explain the appeal of the show yes that you would show somebody to explain the appeal of the show yeah because at the end people are like oh like the audience reaction it shows you how far taskmaster could drag a group of i assume otherwise reasonable thinking people yeah into a kind of baying mob over whether somebody has recognized wayne sleep's name i i think it also shows how um useless most sports are yeah people take football
Starting point is 00:48:36 so seriously anti-sport agenda and they can take this as seriously yeah i think this should be this should be a stadium an olympic event you think this should be a stadium sport. An Olympic event? You think this should be an Olympic event? Yes, I do. There's loads more names you could do, probably. Bob, Wayne, Pat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Bob, Wayne, Pat, Neil. You could add Sue. You could sue someone every time. No? Nick, just like lightly cut somebody. Yeah, or steal something from them. That's genius, Nish. Nish, you could do a big fart every time someone's called Nish.
Starting point is 00:49:10 No, that's not what that name means. It's just something that that name has become synonymous with in your mind. It's so funny watching James go out as well. It's so funny that he doesn't recognise Neil Armstrong's name. It's so funny.
Starting point is 00:49:26 And the panic of him with a blindfold on, just thrusting his arms. It's brilliant. And then he has to shout the first man on the moon to reassure everybody that he knows who Neil Armstrong is. Yeah. Oh, God. so he's straight out straight out phil not knowing who wayne sleep has made me laugh more than it should do i don't know
Starting point is 00:49:51 why i i one of the things that i think is nice is they've threaded a group of people that it's possible that you wouldn't know one of them yes yeah i think so well i guess phil is younger than everyone else yeah yeah yeah yeah and spent a large amount of his time growing up outside of the uk yeah always born certainly born in uh born in another country there's no reason possible that you're not sort of keyed into wayne sleep yeah exactly reference yeah yeah um it is so i i think i would have done great on this, Nish. I think I reckon, I knew every single name.
Starting point is 00:50:29 I did have a problem with that, but this is the thing. When you're up there, sometimes you panic. It's a different, it's a different level of pressure. That's all that's happened to Acaster. He does know who Neil Armstrong is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:38 But in the moment, he panicked and thought they were talking about Lance Armstrong. Lance Armstrong! Not even Louis Armstrong. Yeah, not not even Louis but how do you Louis what's a Louis right I don't know but how do you Lance oh man it was Rod's episode in the end
Starting point is 00:50:54 that took him for the win 20 points 19 points to Jess James and Kerry both on 16 and Phil on 9 it's so tight at the top of the table at this point in the series. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kerry, Rod and Jess
Starting point is 00:51:08 all vying for it and then James and Phil lagging behind. James and Phil also there. Nish, thank you so much for coming back
Starting point is 00:51:21 on the podcast. My pleasure, Edward. We, of course, will have you on again soon. We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. Nish, have you enjoyed yourself?
Starting point is 00:51:35 And what point rating would you give it? I would give it five out of five. And here's why I would give it five out of five. Acast are saying you played into my hands and they not knowing who Neil Armstrong is and that's enough for me that's enough for me to be a five out of five nothing else could have happened in that episode yeah would have been a five out of five experience with the the humbling of a cast it would have been more than enough to discuss the humbling of a cast of what else could you give this experience now Nish you've given
Starting point is 00:52:03 your your score for the recording of the podcast thank you very much for that five and as such you've earned yourself a plug oh yes uh i am uh recording my show uh in video and audio form uh on october the 17th in london at the arts theatre um if you live in l, come and see that. The Arts Theatre, it's a nice theatre. You must go and see it. It's a wonderful show. I'm very glad you're filming it. I of course came to see it in Los Angeles, America. Yes, and what was that folded into, Edward? My honeymoon. We of course planned my honeymoon around going to see Nisha's show in Los Angeles.
Starting point is 00:52:42 We of course planned my honeymoon around going to see Nisha's show in Los Angeles. It didn't just happen because it was just a coincidence or as my wife would describe it, a horrible, a horrible coincidence. A horrible string of events. It is a genuinely brilliant show. So do go and see it. It was a real trip seeing it in LA.
Starting point is 00:53:02 Packed out, packed to the rafters with a lot of Taskmaster fans. Lot of Taskmaster fans. Lot of Taskmaster fans. It was weird, man. It was great. In New York, somebody was there wearing a Greg Davis t-shirt.
Starting point is 00:53:14 When I came to see the show, I was wearing my I'm not a gynecologist, but I have a damn good look for you t-shirt. It was merch wall to wall. Nish, thank you very much for coming on the show. We will see you soon.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Goodbye. See you soon. Goodbye. Thank you very much to Nish for coming on. Always wonderful to speak to Nish. We will have him on again in the future. Do go and see his show being filmed October 17th at the Arts Theatre West End.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Nishkuma.co.uk for tickets or artstheatrewestend.co.uk. Nish's theater westend.co.uk nisha show your power your control october 17th at the arts theater we will be back next week of course talking about series 7 episode 9 we do have a special guest that special guest is james acaster from taskmaster series 7 and numerous other things uh he's a busy boy. I do a couple of things with him. Go check them out. But very excited to have James on the show next week. Thank you very much for listening.
Starting point is 00:54:11 And goodbye to you. Over my shoulder. Older and older. That's what I told you. Over my shoulder. I'm getting colder. It's not a boulder? Over my shoulder, older and older, that's what I told you! Thank you. regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find
Starting point is 00:55:27 the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.

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