Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 97. James Acaster - S7 Ep.9

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

This week's podcast sees the return of Series 7 star James Acaster! The pair have a lot to discuss including the story behind the hula-hooping, why James thought the Fez task was just for Kerry and we get the inside scoop on James' meltdown after the 'find the satsuma' task. It's an emotional one! Next week the podcast will return at 10pm on the 29th September directly after the show has gone out on C4. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's Ed Gamble, you know the score. We are going to chat about an episode of Taskmaster. And today, the episode of Taskmaster that we will be chatting about is Series 7, Episode 9. Nearly finished with Series 7, but it's going to take a little bit longer to finish series seven for reasons that i will tell you after this episode

and what an episode this is it's a big episode of series seven lots of exciting things to chat about and there was only one person we could get in for this episode it's james acaster he is a central part of this episode this is the h Hula episode. There is many a James Acaster meltdown in this ep. So we thought it best to chat to him about past trauma. Very exciting. Look, the new series starts next week. That's basically what I was going to tell you, that we're not going to do series seven, episode 10, because next week we'll be doing Series 14, Episode 1 on Thursday. As soon as the episode is on Channel 4. So it's on at 9pm.

Go and watch it, obviously. And then at 10pm we will be dropping an ep of the Taskmaster podcast, speaking to a special guest about that first episode. God, we are so excited. But now we're just as excited to speak to James Acaster about Taskmaster Series 7 episode 9. welcome back to the taskmaster podcast james acaster that's your name no no no no welcome back to the taskmaster podcast james acaster we've been expecting you for some time no we don't do that

and it's very odd that you did that for yourself. I don't know how else to start a podcast. But would the genie, the genie wouldn't burst out of the lamp and greet himself, would he? In the mirror? Yeah. That was the task. Greet yourself.

I don't know why I find that such a sad image, a genie bursting out of a lamp and offering himself wishes in a mirror. It's quite sad, actually. It is sad. Yeah, that should be a task. Greet yourself. Not a bad task, actually.

Not a bad task. I suppose in many ways you sort of... Well, you didn't greet yourself, but you refused to greet Alex, so... Yes. And tell us now, you can finally reveal, was that a secret task, James? It was not i thought it was and then when they discovered it wasn't they were like oh this guy's just rude people got angry with you about that didn't they yeah people were very upset with me that's so rude little

so nice but he gets bullied on the show like ritualistically everyone bullies him like greg bullies him all the time would you all hate greg i just didn't say hello to him you know um you've not been on this show james since we talked about series 10 uh and we've been doing this podcast forever now i don't know if you know that yeah congratulations thank you very much for a long a long old time um do you have any any sort of highlights from other series that aren't your series any favorite tasks any favorite competitors any favorite moments i mean obviously i love every paul chowdhury moment uh where he calls the his snowman a bastard yeah bastard's crying in it it's yeah uh so those kind of things i really like um i really enjoyed obviously i watched all of the series during lockdowns and uh really enjoyed

people like really enjoyed seeing people that i know from the circuit uh i think uh guz and desiree's series i really enjoyed that and seeing how those different personalities interacted with one another that was fun there's a lot of cool characters there my nephews have been watching it recently, the PG

version, they're really into it right they're really into it and they really got into Nish's series yes and uh then the other i could say that i actually know nish and they're like what and they're quite excited by that how i'm always intrigued on how children view nish yeah like especially on taskmaster because he's obviously like that's nisha is most unhinged and immature yeah are they on board with it or are they

a bit shocked by Nish's behaviour well you know you say like when kids meet me they go like hold on a second this isn't right you're supposed to be a grown up why are you acting stupid enough and I think they were definitely they had that obsession with Nish

and then they got to meet him because I was doing something in Kettering with Nish and my sister texted me I was like bring him down and they came down and met him and uh within five seconds they were kicking him in the shins and bullying him uh because they didn't have any respect for him at all perfect yeah of course but then I think out of everyone if if you said who do you most want to kick in the shins, it's Nish. Because you get that noise out of him. Yeah, you get that sound from him. They're also obsessed with,

obviously the first series they watched was series seven, and completely obsessed with the fact that I won Phil Wang. Yes. And so therefore, I must actually still have him in the house. And I've had to keep that up. Yeah. Every time we're in a social situation where me and Phil are all there, there is a moment where you, you don't even need to say why anymore.

You say, Phil, we should, and then Phil be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'll go and work out some elaborate photos.

I take where he's in a cupboard or something. Yeah. Yeah. He's escaped. Yeah. The best obviously is when I bumped into him at airports before. It's say, well, he's in a cupboard or something. Yeah, yeah. He's escaped. The best, obviously, is when I bumped into him at airports before. It's like, okay, great. You can hold your passport and act like you're running away. And I can take a photo of you. And they're like,

you need to get him. This is awful. He's going to fly away. Have they met Phil yet? No. If they meet Phil, I think Phil's literally dead meat. I think they're just going to jump on him and make sure he can never get away again

and hobble him like in misery they're going to spear him yeah oh poor Phil that's a catchphrase of this podcast is it

yeah I can imagine oh poor Phil oh dear before we talk about uh series seven episode nine james um should we quickly uh let's quickly find out if you have any predictions for the upcoming series series 14 um as as in who do you think is going to do well who do you think is going to do badly so dara fern uh john kerns munya and sarah millican now logic would suggest that dara's gonna do well because uh he he's clever science man he's uh got a few years on the rest of them, and he is a big fan of the show

and has watched all of the show and has wanted to do it for a long time and I think has thought about it for a long time. So you'd think that that means he's going to walk into it and nail it. Yeah. But it's never the person that you think it's going to be from the start.

No. You can never call it. So I'm going to say... Pop them in my series, maybe? And your series, actually. that you think it's going to be from the start. No. You can never call it. So I'm going to say... Parkman in my series, maybe? And your series, actually. Yeah, my series probably... There was probably only one person who could win that.

Even before the series started, I thought, yeah, Carrie's got this. Yeah, Carrie's going to win. And if she doesn't, then something's gone horribly wrong. Yeah. Quite a relief. It's quite nice to be in a series where that's the case

you go what's the line okay I'm not even trying so you think Dara may be for the victory logic would dictate yeah but then he could be another David Baddiel

you know yeah he could turn out to be a Baddiel. Oh, I would love it. I've seen Dara tip a pint of ice cream onto a carpet because he thought it would stain the cup. So he's not the smartest. Do you want to quickly break down that story for the listener?

Yeah, yeah. In Montreal, all the comics were in a hotel room at the festival. Dara came and joined us. He'd just got a Dairy Queen blizzard from Dairy Queen, where they put all the soft serve ice cream in a cup, and to prove to you how cold it is, they turn it upside down and it doesn't fall out, and then they hand it to you. And Dara got that, walked to the hotel from Dairy Queen, stood in the lift, went all the way up all the floors, got out the lift, walked to the hotel from Dairy Queen, stood in the lift, went all the way up all the floors, got out the lift, walked to Nish's room,

knocked on the door, got let in, told us that they hold it upside down, demonstrated it, and it fell all over the carpet. Because he thought that it would still be nice and solid in the cup. He's supposed to be a science man. Yeah, so, you know, I don't know how he would have done on those tasks.

Yeah, hopefully. Hopefully there's moments like that. We had Nish on last week, and he described Kearns as having a whiff of the Kumar about him. No. You don't agree with that? No. Nish was like the only person who I've seen on all of the Taskmaster series so far

who I think was deliberately being bad. Like, I think the rest of us, when we failed, we've genuinely failed. Nish. That's interesting. We've not had that angle on the podcast before that Nish was genuinely being bad. He was deliberately doing it. That's why Greg took him into one side and was like come on mate like do you want to win this you're not a bad guy it was because like you go there's

no way you've tried that yeah you you go on stage you talk about your politics you're clearly a smart guy you get given a task and then you just run across a mattress and kick a water cooler in the worst way possible i go there's no way you thought about this nish but maybe that's i think that's what taskmaster was for nish was a holiday from his massive brain yeah that's what it was yeah a permanent holiday and kerns is kerns isn't gonna do that kerns is gonna try his And, you know, who knows what side we're going to see of Kearns, but he's not got a whiff of the Kumars about him. No. Do you think he'll do well?

He'll try, but do you reckon he'll do well? I reckon he could be like a surprise. I think he's more got a whiff of the Wozniaks about him. Okay, yeah. That's how I would feel. A whiff of the Woz. I feel that he's going to be... He's got...

But the thing is, with this this series what i'm really excited about is that i think there's a lot of potential i was gonna say kerns will be a fan favorite but i'm looking at this munya and fern on there yeah who again i don't think like the general public uh know as well as they do the national treasures on the on the panel and you've got two national treasures yeah who i think people have wanted on there for ages. So it's quite exciting. I think Munya Fern and John have a whiff of the Wozniaks about them. And I think Dara and Sarah,

nothing you can say that hasn't been said. They're going to be fantastic. It's a very exciting line-up. It's very good. It's very good. It's very good. We're all looking forward to it. Let's hark back, James, but seven series. To series seven, episode nine, The Pendulum Draws The Eye

first transmitted October 2018 remember that yeah I do actually 2018 I just moved into my flat at the time my first little flat on my own that's exciting isn't it I was watching

I was watching Tasman the studio tasks they were the week that I moved into my flat I moved into my flat and day two of being in the flat straight to the studio

to film Taskmaster oh wow I was sleeping on a mattress every single night during this you can tell on the floor mattress on the floor

actually first night I wasn't because first night I locked myself out of my flat first night I got back discovered I was locked out and I spent the night in a hotel oh my god and the Taskmaster team had to get me a change of clothes change of underwear shower

gel and stuff for when I arrived the next morning I didn't know this yeah yeah I turned up I had to have a shower at Pinewood Studios, put on some pants that they'd bought for me from the shops. So in the first episodes of Taskmaster in your series, you're not wearing your own pants? In episodes three and four, I'm not wearing my own pants. Three and four, you're not wearing your own pants? Yeah. That's good.

Do you attribute any of your successes or failures to that? Well, yeah, I'd have to reassess the studio tasks i guess i'd have a look at them and go oh there you go i could have been even a bit better if those were my own let's talk about the prize task for this episode most surprisingly beautiful thing um it's a lovely it's a lovely category um and i i don't think anyone does brilliantly i've got to say well greg's not impressed by any of it no but are you impressed by any of it leaving yours aside so um we've obviously got rod uh again brings in the picture of greg but against the against the industrial landscape of port talbot which is a lovely way of bringing

it up but it's now happened so many times it's funny for a whole new reason which is Greg being really unimpressed and knowing it's coming and just going yep there it is yes but I mean I don't want to skip ahead of the episode but the fact he's done it too much

really pays off later on in this episode and it's a nice but the fact he's done it too much really pays off later on in this episode yeah it really does and it's a nice also I like that Rod weaves it in with a genuine story from his life as well that he'd gone travelling and then come back and seen poor Tolbert and realised actually how beautiful it is

but then he just sticks a picture of Greg in his pants on there so good on him also you know I think you've got to remember as well just from a uh comedic standpoint um doing repeated callbacks to something that actually the audience who are in the room that day haven't seen the originals for is quite it's quite bold yes but when it's the repeated callback is a picture of greg in his pants you can pretty much guarantee a laugh can't

you yeah that was gonna laugh at it yeah because they do it's the same with Phil's costume you can hear the studio audience laugh as an audience who are hearing it seeing it for the first time as well

yeah all the time but deservedly in last place Rod he should be punished for that now yeah

I think but it's worth the joke I mean Kerry what was Kerry's one Kerry had a piece of art oh yeah I think, but it's worth the joke. I mean, Kerry, what's Kerry's one? Kerry had a piece of art. Oh yeah,

awful placenta art. Yeah. Placenta art. Yeah. And everyone quite rightly sort of bulked at that. Yeah. Yeah. Also,

because it's not surprisingly beautiful, the actual art, I think, you know, in concept, that's going to be great. But then you see the art, it's like, oh no,

it just looks like a placenta's dropped on a piece of paper whereas actually you could have if that was a beautiful portrait of something you'd go yeah it's surprisingly beautiful yeah it's not surprising at all it really it looks exactly as i would imagine art made with placenta would look like i would say yeah absolutely gross it was nice to see phil win a prize task it was very heartwarming when that happens on taskmaster however i think jess should have won yeah it's good but it's yeah quite quite straightforward i'd say maybe that's the problem that's what's nice about it clean the whole thing is bringing the most surprisingly beautiful thing just some sand but then that's what's surprising about it because when you look

at it under a microscope i never knew sand looked like that under a microscope it is surprising it's completely beautiful yeah so like i thought that was unfair i'm surprised greg gave it four points just for his own so what he appreciates normally like that is it's quite a sort of clever prize it's a little bit like i always find if you're trying to teach greg something he doesn't necessarily go for it he doesn't like it no he's a teacher yeah because he's a teacher exactly yeah yeah he feels like he should be i bet he's gone around to everyone he knows and told them about sand yeah yeah he's told everyone else. If you see what sand looks like under a microscope, it's amazing.

Yeah. I felt good. Yeah, I also felt good that Phil won this prize toss with the Jack in the Box that went open as the face of Grace Kelly. But I still felt bad for him that it was sort of a qualified win in that Greg said,

I'm going to give this to you, but I felt nothing. I felt nothing when it opened. It's technically good, but I still don't think it's very good. Yeah, yeah. I think Phil didn't hear that at the time. He just wanted the high fives from everyone. I think I'm the only one who doesn't high five him.

I'm too far away. I feel bad watching it back. Let's talk about yours, James, which is the picture drawn of you by your friend depicting you with lovely little breasts and two penises. Yes. All framed up. Is it still framed in your new place?

It's still framed. It's not put on the wall here yet, but rest assured it will be. It was my birthday 2016, I think it was. Good year for you. Yeah was good year for you yeah good year and I was in Sydney Australia

and an Australian comedian called Sam Campbell drew me a picture yes for my birthday and I found it in my pocket

like a year later in my jacket pocket I was like oh yeah I forgot about that I couldn't bring myself to throw it away and I have a rule in my house said if you can't bring yourself to throw it away you frame it and put it on the wall we'll come to something else a little bit later on that you uh you had hanging

on the wall for a long time yeah yeah that's how i live my life matt Matt. Put it on the wall. But I thought it was surprisingly beautiful, that picture. Yes. Where are you getting the beauty from? Well, it's the fact that I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It's like, well, you look at it and you go, this should be rubbish, right? I should just be throwing this in the bin. It's horrible that he's drawn this. Grotesque.

Yeah, it's grotesque. Yeah, deliberately grotesque. And's grotesque yeah deliberately grotesque and yeah I love looking at it I think it's there's something alluring about it something quite

quite beautiful and when also I deliberately when I took it to the framing shop so I had to stand there with the person who worked there

and show them the picture and say I want this framed so you got it professionally framed yes I this is something I know about you James I've never known anyone to spend so much money on framing things

yeah yeah I really love going to the framers and getting it framed properly and picking out a nice frame for it and getting it done you know I don't know any other way you know you can buy frames and frames not the ones like this I had to go to this framers

and I was like I said to the lady I was hoping it wouldn't be but you know whatever this is what I want framed that's a picture of me my friend did of me she had a laugh about it

I was like I want the ugliest frame possible and like let's get a really ugly frame that looks horrible and we were like you know holding different frames up against it yeah oh yeah that one's that one's horrible and she was really laughing about it she was like yeah that's disgusting and did it and then when I got you know when I got it back I was like it's so ugly it's beautiful like it's we've made all the wrong choices and yeah I love it back, I was like, it's so ugly, it's beautiful. We've made all the wrong choices. And yeah, I love it. So I thought, surprisingly beautiful. It was a hard category.

And I'd say this was the best I could do. But watching this episode years down the line, I do actually stand by it more than I did at the time, I think. Yeah. Is it that it's a picture of you at the time, I think. Yeah. It's a picture of you and the picture's got two penises. And do you think you find it alluring because you love the idea of having two penises? Oh, I'd love it.

Yeah. One for business, one for pleasure. Perfect. You'd definitely have to get some new pants in that case. Oh, yeah. I would need to find the taskmaster with the runners ahead of time. Guys. Guys, you've got to get me some two dick pants. I need some double pants, yeah.

It was one point for Rod, two points for Kerry, three points for your two dicks, four points for Jess and the big five for Phil and so happy it was about that. It was lovely to see. Also, it's nice that there's some series

where there's someone who keeps coming last and actually they don't get that redemption moment at any point. Because Greg's not just dropping it in there for charity to give them that each time. He does sometimes leave the Judy Loves of the World with no wins whatsoever and then that's it. And so it was nice that Phil won.

And you can see he's genuinely happy and he makes this happy noise. HE MAKES A HAPPY NOISE Kerry. My thing is art made from a placenta. LAUGHTER It's like a tree, it's sort of about life. And who could have seen that it came out of a bunch of flesh and veins?

What a surprise! Well, I am surprised by the fact that the reality of a picture of a placenta is actually worse than what I had in my mind. What I had in my mind was already disgusting. Ready to judge him? Yeah, well, he can have one point for a start. Oh, look at that. You've had your money's worth out of that picture, you prick.

Task one. Put the most money in the small bowl. You may not touch the small bowl. The small bowl must not sink. Also, you must say your own name at least once every 30 seconds. You have five minutes. The money in the small bowl with the highest total of numerical value wins. Your time starts now.

It's not a great episode for you this is it james because i'd forgotten about this task and this is an absolute disaster for you this is my in real time this was my first disaster this was on day one of my tasks interesting and uh yeah day one of my tasks i had i did this and i did the portrait of greg using the ukulele it was a real a real roller coaster of the day yeah so it's my best task yeah in my opinion and one of my worst um it was a real nightmare plus because it was day one and i'm a huge fan of the show i was very very poised and i don't know if you were like this as a a fan of the show who then finds yourself on it yeah in my head I'm like okay is this task just

for me is this one just me what about this one is this just me so like when it said say your name every five seconds I was like no that's gonna be just me yeah because you do like you do like doing that yeah yeah yeah you love when when that was part of the task i i've never seen you more excited yeah i was like great say my name say my name would be five seconds so like so that was fun um i mean obviously a big big a big amount of regret with this one yeah it was the the introduction of the skull to try and stop the small bowl sinking. I mean, it wasn't a bad idea, but the idea should have happened first.

You should have put the skull under it, put something under it to stop the bowl sinking. But it's always a relief, I think, when you've screwed something up so badly, you wait months to see it and realise that three other people have massively screwed it up as well. Yeah, it was nice that we all screwed it up. But also, i think there was a thing where what i'd done and i don't think they really showed it in real time my my thought process there is i'd filled the bowl up i should have left it there was a point i was like that's definitely tip and i should leave it yeah but i then reread the task and i think and maybe i'd misinterpreted it when i reread it but i was

like oh i can't touch the bowl but if i can fish the bowl out of there completely so like i was like if i just scoop it out i just put all the money in there yeah and i don't have to ever touch it and i was like oh shit someone's definitely gonna do that and by that point my five minutes was nearly up so I looked for the nearest thing that could drain it it's like on a skull thing didn't see if it could fit in the bowl easily enough everything fell in there it's a disaster and I'm walking oh I've just I definitely just failed to that one day one it's good to get a failure out the way yeah and I mean you looked you looked a bit gutted but also as it was that

makes so much sense that it was day one because you were like right yeah okay on to the next one yeah yeah that's funny if that had happened on day five absolute disaster yeah i mean really ideally if i'd realized straight away oh the key here is to fish it out yeah i would have run to the shed looked for a net come back get the net in scoop the bowl out dunk all the money in there tell alex to suck it it would have been a good first day were you were you using catchphrases like suck it on day one or did they come later probably i mean yeah i think yeah i was day one. So I had to do the ukulele portrait. So I had to put all the things in the bin. And I think when I put all the things in the bin,

I just said, I put 40 things in this bin, suck it immediately. I think very, you know, you don't know what your kind of attitude is going to be like on Taskmaster until they go, like, go, do it. You can have things in your head on the way there in the car that you think i'm going to be like this yeah and you don't actually do any of that because as soon as you go into the task you just become a different person and that's who you are so i hadn't planned to not say hello to alex i hadn't planned to tell the people to suck it all the time but that's how i felt when doing all these things yeah i mean i could have predicted that's what you'd be like. Yeah, yeah.

That's a large part of your personality. You would have got it right. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, but I'm glad that Rod tipped the fishbowl on the floor. See, I think that was my first thought is to get rid of the water.

But my first thought was go and find a hammer and smash the big glass bowl. But that's who I am. That's who I am in Taskmaster. I feel like it's a sort of GTA thing where you can do all the things you've always wanted to do. And that's just smashed stuff up for me. It should be, though, shouldn't it?

I think, yeah, because when I saw Lod do that, I was like, I never would have done that because I always thought, well, I'll get in trouble. Yeah. You can't really get in trouble. Yeah. You can't really get in trouble. Yeah, you can't. It's impossible to get in trouble on the show. And I wish I'd remembered that a bit more because smashing it with a hammer would have felt brilliant.

Yeah. My only other thought was, it doesn't say you have to use that money, does it? Oh, no. No, it says you'd have to put money into it. The small bowl must not sink. Put the most money in. You could go around getting as many notes as you can of people. Put your credit card in there.

Yeah, I mean, I guess then you'd have to reveal how much credit you have. If it wins the task, I'll tell everyone. Or write a cheque. Yeah. I think notes would be what I ended up doing, was just get as many notes as I could. They're so light, you could pop those in the bowl. Wouldn't be an issue.

I mean, it turns out that really, you know, all Kerry did need to do was put one coin in there and just sit there. Yeah. I just love, I love Jess fucking up so much. much she's so funny there's so many bits in this episode particularly where it's also after maybe a couple of episodes since greg described her as a sesame street character and just the physicality is so perfect. She's so funny. But yeah, it's particularly sad watching that bowl sink as well.

I think it's really depressing. Oh, every time it sinks. Yeah. Because it's so... I mean, Kerry gets very lucky because Kerry goes round to pick something up, notices it's actually about to sink and stops. I think she was about to put another coin in there. Yeah, she was.

At the point where she puts a coin in and the audience goes because they're not. They're like, oh dear she shouldn't have done that. She goes round, luckily spots it and that's it. I reckon if there had been one more coin in there it would have sunk and I don't know if that task would have made the edit. No, I mean just a bunch of us sinking.

Interestingly, I don't think in series 7 that would have made the edit. By the time you get to series 10 they love doing that yeah they love they love putting tasks in where everyone fails everyone fails yeah yeah it's so funny um it was naught points uh for you phil jess and rod but it was five points for carrie um i love that rod and j really try again. After it's sunk, they're like, come on. Yeah, they haven't met that bit of the task, I guess. They're like,

let's just keep on trying to... I can still get this. No, you can't. You've already failed. Poor Jess as well. Tasks like that where you're like, Jess, if you just put one coin in there and then got gone for lunch, you would have probably won the whole series

yeah oh gutted when you're scooping things out well something delicate something delicate oh yeah i've got a delicate situation here involving a little bowl with water what do you reach for the skull has holes in it for the eyes and jawbones. I thought, that'll drain it as it's coming out. However, I neglected to notice that the skull was slightly bigger than the bowl over here. Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance and more

at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category,

and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Task 2A, we've chosen to call this. This is the split task. Be photographed in the most unusual situation wearing this fez. You have eight weeks.

Your time starts now. I think we talk about this one first and then we move on to the Hulu fiasco. Yeah. They had eight weeks, James. They had eight weeks I don't think any of them

did anything apart from actually Rod. To be fair to Rod, that might have been eight weeks in the planning. There's a lot of organising to do there.

He's got to go to Shropshire and convince Greg's mum to get in the bath, put a fez on. I think that's the easiest part. Yeah. The sound of things. Also,

the look on her face was... That wasn't the photo they showed in the studio. Wasn't it? No. Oh no. He took two photos of her in the bath

with that fez. One is the one that you see on the show. And one was a massive smile just giving Greg the finger. Coming out the bubbles, middle finger up with the fez on. Why did they change that? I have no idea. But it was absolutely superb. And she was in that night as well. When Greg it was absolutely superb and she was in that night as well. When Greg says

she's in, she was. She was there. It's such a wonderful moment because you can see how genuine it is that Greg wasn't looking at the picture and says if I turn around and that's a picture of me in my pants again I'm going to be livid.

And then turns around and he's genuinely shocked. He genuinely got him, which was fantastic. So that's the whole payoff to all the pictures of him in his pants. And he totally thinks, well, I know what this is going to be. And he's stunned. It was great. You can see how joyous. We're all very joyful to see that.

I mean, you are giggling like a bully at the back of the group. Really cackling, like clapping and wiggling your legs around. You can't believe how brilliant it is. My response to Rod throughout the series is either I absolutely have had enough of him or I'm the little kid behind him going, yeah, yeah, Rod, get him. Get him, Rod, get him.

Yeah, yeah, love it when he says to Kerry that she put a Brillo pad on her tits. Absolutely, I absolutely love that. You know, any time he gets someone else, I love it. Well, it's the same with Rod. He only really comes alive when you're really annoyed. Like, genuinely, like, he really loves it. But then there's, like, moments in Tasks

where, i spoke about this last week it's just sort of all done with a cold psychosis he's just doing the craziest things possible but just with completely focused dead eyes absolutely chilling but yeah this is this is one of his finest moments i think and uh yeah you know it's he doesn't get points for it because he's not in the photo but then what does Greg want him to do pop the fez on and jump in the bath with her it's worth it though

it is worth it for that photo but yeah one point and I see what Greg means it's not the task but you know I'd imagine at some point Rod thought well whatever my tasks are I want a picture of Greg's mum in the bath yeah yeah and this one just really played into his hands um Kerry and Jess feel I feel like they got to the last week before the studio and then panicked

so well Jess was clearly going on holiday somewhere I think at the time didn't Jess live in LA at the time when she was coming over for it? I feel like she was just coming over to the UK to film Taskmaster and was like, I need to... Oh shit, I haven't done that task yet. To get in the cockpit?

Is that possible? And that's not an unusual situation really, is it? To be in the cockpit? I don't know. I've never been in the cockpit. No, but they exist, the cockpits, right? Sure, you can't do something that doesn't exist. No, but that would be unusual.

Yeah. But it just feels like she was on her way somewhere and she suddenly remembered the task. I mean, it's no Russell Howard in Series 6 filming another one of his tv shows and shouting out to the people of india yeah yeah sure it's quickly doing the task but this this is you know and and then trying to claim that andy farrington's name is fez i mean i love that yeah what was funny re-watching it is there's a point where greg says andy farrington yeah he says there's a picture of you with andy farrington and it's exactly my type of humor

so i laughed watching it and then it cut to a shot of me laughing in exactly the same way that i was currently laughing at home because it is a spot on always going to make me laugh a name like that full names names, yeah. Andy Farrington is funny. Yeah. I mean, I thought Kerry's one was great and actually where she went wrong is really committing to claiming that she went to the past.

Yeah. To the point where when she doesn't get full points, she goes in a very serious way, I did go to the past. And I think you've forgotten that this was a joke serious way, I did go to the past. I think you've forgotten that this was a joke, Kerry, and that you didn't go to the past at all. But I would like to have heard what she actually did because I think that would have gotten more points

because, you know, she's gone to some sort of place where they do those photos and she's gone to a bit of trouble there. Yes, exactly. Although, to be fair, claiming to go bit of trouble there yes exactly although to be fair claiming to go to the past and absolutely not backing down is exactly what you would have done yeah yeah absolutely yeah it's a gandhi it's a gandhi's glasses situation it's gandhi's glasses

which which were from gandhi i got them from his friend um it's a good photo as well from kerry um but there was only three points on offer anyway um I should have got points for that though as well why so I said I said on the episode I think they might have even put the clip on YouTube but um when I moved into my new flat yeah I moved in and the owners had uh left a fez in the kitchen there's a fez there and for some reason so i took a photo of myself wearing the fez immediately i saw it put it on took a photo of myself wearing it and i think i've been texting alex about coming in you know the studio or whatever asking him some questions and so i just sent him that photo yeah with context. He must have been terrified.

And he saw it and was like, right. And so then on the thing, I said on the show to Greg, I said, I did that one as well. I did it. And I sent it to Alex. And Alex backed me up and said I sent it. But Greg said, well, if you can get me that photo before the end of the episode, then you can get a point or whatever. But then I couldn't, for some reason,

didn't end up getting it. Oh, yeah, that's because, yeah, we know what happened in the rest of the episode. I couldn't really think straight to go up to my dressing room and get the phone. But also, I kind of, because this whole task is like a weird one. Those three are doing that.

Me and Phil are doing our one and there's no real link between those those tasks it's just a split task yeah but as you will know ed one of the rules when you do taskmaster is don't talk about the tasks with each other yes wait to the studio it'll get shown there. Don't talk about them. Well, let me tell you. There are a couple of people on Series 7, and I think it's been long enough now, who definitely wanted to talk about the tasks beforehand. Yeah. Who are we talking?

Well, we're not talking Phil, and we're not talking Rod, and we're not talking yours truly. So I bumped into Kerry, probably at a gig or something and she was like right let's talk about the task so i went no not allowed she was like what are you serious i was like i'm not talking about them with you not allowed to talk about them oh kerry she's like you grow up come on we can talk about i was like i'm not not doing it i thought i like the show and it's great when it's a genuine reaction in up. Come on, we can talk about it. I was like, I'm not doing it. I was like, I like the show, and it's great when it's a genuine reaction in the studio.

I'm not going to talk about it too. And she went, okay. But look, I'm really struggling with the one that we've got eight weeks to do. Oh, right. So that must have set some alarm bells going for you. Well, not really, because I was like, I've got eight weeks to do a task. Oh, okay.

So you thought it must have been the hula task that she was referring to i was like i was like oh yeah that's difficult like that so i said that's hard and she went and she went you know what i'm talking about but the fez one and then i had to do a complete poker face yeah yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's amazing. You went with it. And then I walked away. I was like, holy shit. And then I saw

Jess at a wedding drinks. Yeah. And Jess was like, right, let's talk about the task. I was like, no. Against the rules. She's like,

I can't believe this. Why aren't you talking to me about the task? I said, I'll tell you one thing though Kerry's got a task the rest of us haven't because she told me about a task and I'm not doing that

so I think Kerry's got a task just her she was like oh what is it I was like I don't know it's something to do with the Fez she went yeah yeah I've got the Fez one

when did the Fez go and I was like oh shit okay so then I went away and I was like oh shit okay so then I went away and then I'm thinking am I the only one doing the hula

am I the only one doing the hula hoop one and I was very and you know there was a lot of cryptic talk yeah in the dressing rooms

but I knew that like okay they've got a so I knew something was up yeah I didn't know what it was going to be um I thought maybe all of them were doing something with a fez it's very funny that you spent the whole time when you're filming the tasks being paranoid that the task was just for you yeah and when the task pretty much was just for you you assumed oh it's just Kerry's got to do the first one yeah yeah yeah probably just

Kerry doing the first hey Jess guess what Kerry's getting mugged off of a fez because of the fez that we're going to call it split task yes we've divided them up we've got the children and the grown-ups should we start with Jess's fez adventure yeah. I'm wearing a Fez in... ..the cockpit of an aeroplane! With a pilot, genuinely, who, when I asked to go into the cockpit, and he went, "'Arsewood, my name is Fez." LAUGHTER

It's completely true. We can see his name badge is... Andy Farrington. LAUGHTER Andy Farrington?! AKA Fez. Well, I think it's not a bad attempt to have a picture with you and Andy Farrington. I invited Fez down. No one has called that man Fez in his life.

Fez! Yep. Thank you. Let's officially move on to this task then. Hula, you have one minute. Your time starts now. Part two, improve your hula-ing. Greatest improvement wins you have until the studio shows.

Your time starts now. I mean, it's heartbreaking, isn't it, James? Let's go through the whole process there because you got the hula. You didn't do well initially, is i guess the key house i did i did badly six seconds six seconds and it really hurt it's got a metal inner tube oh really that that hula hoop yes it's a metal hula hoop that's got this padding around it but when it hits you it feels like a metal bar yeah so smacking my shins on the way down really hurt well you've got i mean i'd say i'd say you've got less padding than some so i'd imagine that would hurt if you're clanking a sort of metal

metal tube against your hips yeah but then my opponent was wearing a wafer thin uh body suit so he's got even less padding than me in a way well but as you can see in this in the slow motion phil uh phil is graced with uh with a nice sort of soft landing the slow motion of phil i mean the video that's birthed a thousand gifts um it really is incredible it's majestic because greg's saying he's looking at the in the obvious place but i'm place, but I'm looking at the motion. I'm looking at how the hula hoop lands. It's just, it's beautiful. Also, the shot that makes me laugh the most

is actually just of his face, where he's going, ah, like his slow motion, the pain in his face, because it's just smacking his dick, is really funny. He did well. Oh God, I love it.

Yeah, he did really well. Straight away. But that is the best he's ever done in a task. But it's the one way you should have done really badly. So you have room to improve. So it's amazing the different levels that Phil screws up in this series. Well, also, and Phil, I think,

admitted this on the show. But then, I think he got edited out. But I think he this on the show but then I think it got edited out but I think he's since admitted it because we go there it says hula and then they give us another task that says improve your hula ring

you have until the studio days they gave Phil the wrong one first by mistake. Oh my God. So Phil knew he was going to have to improve his hula hooping. Did a minute anyway. What the fuck, Phil? And then got the next one.

So surely if you get that, I i mean maybe he's just trying to they were probably panicking about accident because they so rare a mistake like that is made right so they were probably panicking and they're like phil just pretend you haven't seen that yeah and he's a such a nice guy he was probably like right i'm just going to do it to the best of my ability and then but obviously if you or i had got that bit first i would have just like put the hula hoop around and just let it completely drop to the floor without even touching it yeah i reckon i can improve on that guy see you later thanks guys you suckers never make a mistake like that ever again that's so funny so on the on the night i mean get that. It was just sheer pressure. Look, if it had been... You know how the whole thing's filmed,

but basically, for those people who don't, five days of tasks, roughly, in the house and the location days. Five days in the studio, filming two episodes a day, that are back- back those ones and uh this is episode nine this is the final day this is the morning of the final day and uh i'm drained yeah if i'm honest taskmaster is the the most fun i've ever had on a tv show

um easily especially considering it was like 10 days of filming all together um i loved all of it apart from half a day when my body was like this my body was like we can't we're too tired so i think in this episode you can see that i'm flagging yeah uh. And then they did, I think if it had been episode one, here's the hula, I'd have nailed it out the gate. Yeah. Because I'd been practising,

this is, it'd been eight weeks. Phil, when we got, when we got back at the end of this day and we filmed the whole series, Phil sent me a photo of his sofa and peeping out from behind the sofa,

you can see his hula hoop and he says, where it's been since the first day they gave it to me so phil had done nothing i have been practicing um on what i've been practicing at gigs as people were walking into the venue on stage so i'd like 45 minute get-ins sometimes and i would be there on stage hulaing and trying to hula for the whole 45 minutes. And by the end, by the time we got to the studio, I could hula for 30, 35 minutes straight without it dropping. Like I was really good. And I was like, this is going to be great.

Yeah. Because the funniest thing, sometimes, you know, you do think the funniest thing here is if i do badly or whatever so you try at every task but you know that it's funny if i fail with something like this i thought the funniest thing yeah is if i'm really good yeah if you hold it for 35 minutes yeah yeah that'll be funny so let's try and do this and i I got really good at it. And then they're like, it's time. And my body is like, we can't fucking go to bed, man. Like, there's no way. And me and Phil are there. And obviously, you know, I'm standing behind the curtain with Phil.

I'm physically tired. Phil's just had his self-esteem dragged through the mud for nine episodes straight. Absolutely stamped on,orn to shreds. Greg's taking his big old dick out and pissed all over Phil's self-esteem. There you go. And now Phil's there

knowing he hasn't practiced this. Got the hula hoop. He's feeling like Phil's doubting everything about himself. I'm just feeling like I want to crawl into bed. We're currently like last and second from last in the leaderboard. We've got to do this. And I just, all my confidence just left my body.

It was very sad. And then the whistle blew. And I couldn't believe it five seconds a second less than i'd done when i hadn't even practiced at all um and and you see my my form as well my body just goes like one of those uh i think it's a comparison that overused in this day and age but i think it's appropriate it's like the you in this day and age, but I think it's appropriate. It's like the things outside the garage, the wobbly man dancers, full of air. I go like that when I'm trying to hula,

which is a technique that I have established months ago. It doesn't work. I don't know why I do that. Alex obviously is really delighted, really laughs. Oh, God. I mean, it turns out the funniest thing that could happen isn't you doing really well. It what happens well yeah the funniest thing is practicing solidly for eight weeks getting so you can do half an hour yeah immediately doing one second

less than you did before which is the perfect amount to fail by one second less than you did before and then who the because obviously for the edit they edit down how long i actually hoolied on the day i think they put it on online at some point the unedited version of how long i hula for but it was a long time and i only stopped because they told me to stop you know and i i suddenly like hula and you know pleading well well actually like a pathetic plea oh no i've been practicing so much i'm really good now say that to them i'm really hoping that i'm gonna get the point uh but also knowing in my heart it's funnier if he doesn't give me the points i mean you are you are incredible at it as well that's what i'd say it is it's incredible to watch because the first attempt like you say your body goes all wobbly and weird and then when

you're actually doing it and saying how good you are you're barely move you're barely moving your body like the hula it seems to be doing most of the work yeah i've really nailed it at that point i can do it without thinking i can go um actually at this point, I think I could only go clockwise. During lockdowns when I continued to hula as a form of exercise in my flat, I got counterclockwise as well. And I was quite happy with the fact I could go both ways in the lockdowns,

hula'd every day with the same hula hoop, which I no longer own. You're so good at it that even Rod goes I think we should take the second attempt yeah yeah yeah even Rod backs you on it

yeah that's unfair to not give him because he's clearly practiced he clearly can do it yeah where is the hula now

because I made reference to things you hang on your wall for a long time you did have that hula hoop hanging on your wall didn't you yeah

I banged a nail in the wall and put the hula hoop on it so it was hanging up on your wall for a long time you did have that hula hoop hanging on your wall didn't you yeah i i i i banged a nail in the wall and and put the hula hoop on it so it's hanging up on the wall i can't frame the hula hoop that's the main frame of hula hoop as they say um alex horn contacted me he was doing a charity auction and was like i was contacted all taskmaster guests, any Taskmaster related things. And this was as so the final lockdown had lifted and I think I just felt like yeah, give him the hula hoop because I've done it so intensely during

lockdown and I feel like let's move on from that now. Yeah. And give Alex his hula hoop. Do I have a replacement hula hoop? Yes. I've got a new one. It's orange. Is it the same style? Is it a metal one?

Yeah, but the outside is actually quite bumpy and wavy, which makes it a harder one. It's more difficult to hula with it. I see, I see. Well, I'm glad we finally got the definitive hula story. It was one point for Phil still, and two points for you, because let's not forget, Phil gets 1.5 seconds after doing a minute at the house.

Absolutely astonishing. Can't do it with... Clearly, he should have worn that outfit again. Should have got the Game of Death outfit on again. Yeah, exactly. That's what it was. It was the Game of Death. That was the key. Hula.

Hula. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I've been panicking so much! I've been panicking so much! I'm really good at this. I'm really good now. I'm really good. I got nervous! I got nervous, I'm really good now. I'm really good now.

I'm really good. I mean, it is impressive, isn't it? It is such a shame we've got to take his first attempt. We can just take his second attempt, I would suggest. Which was spectacular. That was the rules, I'm afraid. Task three, find the sock with the Satsuma inside. You may not look inside any of your socks. You may squeeze five socks.

You may stroke 10 socks. You may sniff 20 socks. You may put your hand inside three socks. You may put 11 socks on your feet. Fastest wins. Your time starts now. It's a very good task. Well, is it?

Yes. I think it's a great task. And I think a lot of the you may squeeze five socks, you may stroke ten socks is all red hair rings, really. I think it's designed to deliberately confuse. You just need a simple strategy. Obviously, you were gutted, I'd imagine, to miss the big eight on the caravan.

Not really. So that wound me up. So this is a problem now. Because... So I've done the hula ring. Yeah. That's really... That's hit me hard.

Yeah. Yeah, you can tell. Really gutted. Really gutted about it. Really like, oh, God. Then they show us the opening to this one. And they show us that there was an eight on the side. Oh, yeah, because it's eight in from the...

And then I'm annoyed because I'm like, well, no. Because if I'd seen it... Because I remember that day. And they were like, we're going to take you into the caravan. We're going to blindfold you. Yeah. So they blindfolded me, took me to the caravan. And then you come out and you see the caravan yeah I'm gonna blindfold you yeah so blindfolded me took me to the caravan and then you come out and you see the washing line and you think okay they're blindfolded me so I

wouldn't see all the socks yeah but it's also so I don't see the eight on the on the caravan but I'm like if I'd seen the number eight if I'd come out looked around and spotted the number eight I don't think I would have gone oh it, it's eight in from the right side. I'll start there. There's no way I would have got that. So in the studio, I'm sitting there annoyed because I'm like, oh, what? You're making this out to be a bunch of, oh, the answer was there all along

and we didn't see it. It's not like it says look under the table, you know, and you're like, well, there you go. There it is and you guys didn't see that. I'm like, it's just the number eight. Yeah. But you must know, but then, no, there you go. There it is. And you guys didn't see that. I'm like, it's just the number eight. Yeah. But you must know. But then, no, it could mean like three things.

It could mean it's the sock with the number eight written on it or something. Or eight in from the right, eight in from the left. So you just check that, wouldn't you? Maybe. I just don't think it's that obvious. Yeah, in the moment, I don't think it would have been that obvious. So that annoyed me in the studio. So I was annoyed't think it would have been so that that annoyed me in the studio so i was annoyed by that that they were making us out to be a bunch of idiots for

not spotting the eight and i was like no we're not fucking idiots um but actually i mean obviously the task is overshadowed by a whole bunch of stuff but i do well in it yeah you do pretty well i mean you get three points i don't go around doing too much of the nonsense no and you do it you do it like pretty fast and quite efficient and you clearly made your mind up on how to do it and you you eliminate everything and then you you pull it out the sock and you is it a a socket? A socket, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's very efficient. Like, there's a few tasks during the series where you just get on with it and do it in a very quick, efficient way.

There's that and there's the finding out what the switch does. Yeah. And there's various things like that where you're just like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, suck it, see you later. Yeah. The switch, which was like... I didn't know I'd done that well at it until you later yeah the yeah the the switch which was like i didn't know i'd done that

well at it until we were in the studio and i saw how everyone else did yeah that's very satisfying i hope everyone who goes on taskmaster has a moment like that where they get yes because that's a very satisfying moment when you think oh this task okay i did all right on this let's sit and watch it and then you realize you did better than everyone else yeah the little blue book and screaming as well was one of those moments for me yeah absolutely it was just like

there there there done done done yeah this one I'm at my wits end in the studio so I'm not I'm not necessarily although I love seeing Phil

shout a line obviously I mean it's fantastic to find out he it's just Phil just does everything so much slower than the rest of the rest of anyone really that I've ever met like he's on you know on like a podcast app you can go double speed or for some reason you can go like 0.75

speed Phil's on 0.75 speed perpetually yeah just constantly And the only one who finds the lime as well. Yeah. Like, so unlucky. Everyone else finds what they're looking for or finds a way around it, whatever. No one else goes, oh, I found it. I found the Satsuma, definitely.

Pulls it out and it's a lime. It's a lime. And it takes him 21 minutes, 10 seconds to do that. and he's in his bare feet yeah lying on the floor alive alive it's great so you know i'm glad that that moment still shines through because i feel like on the day i've really felt like oh i've i've really sullied the atmosphere here and no one's going to remember how great that line was. Because the red mist had descended. The red mist descended.

This is one of my favourite Jess moments as well, actually, during this, where she puts on the sock and there's an egg in it. And she goes, guys, it's a bloody egg. So funny. Like, she's clearly angry about stepping in an egg but she's still she can't help but look really really happy also addresses them all like i i do like it when contestants and i don't think i i really ever did this but when contestants just because a really big part of the task that you really enjoy is that you get to know the whole crew as a big game yeah and it's quite good when

you see a contestant. Yeah, I think Mel Gedroych does it as well. Just says to them all like, oh, gang, this is great. Whatever to them. And it's like, you do feel like, so you can imagine they're looking at all of them going, oh, you got me, guys.

There's a bloody egg. She doesn't do it that well. It's 16 minutes and 56 seconds manages to step in some egg kerry very efficient uh it's similarly efficient to you just slightly quicker now let's i mean let's talk about let's talk about rod yes um this is the sort of thing i might do yeah if i was really thinking hard during this task, I might go and get a satsuma and pop it in another sock. And because, James, the task says,

find the sock with a satsuma inside. It doesn't say find the sock with the satsuma. There's no definite article for satsuma. So that could be any satsuma. That's not what we're contesting. Right. I don't contest a and the i contest find right and what i didn't contest and i should have that i only realize when you

watch it back is that he says it's a tangerine when he puts it in i think that's just because i think it must be it must be a satsuma from the load of satsumas they were using for that task, I'd say. Well, he calls it a tangerine. He does call it a tangerine. He says, I found a tangerine. So I should have contested that, didn't. Yeah. I contest found.

Yeah. So that you can put something in something, then tip it upside down and go, look what I found. Yeah. I reckon that's... You're on more solid ground there. in something, then tip it upside down and go, look what I've found. Yeah. You're on more solid ground there. I think maybe what he should have done is tied a knot in the top of it, got all the socks, mixed them all up,

and then just found the one with the knot in the top and said, oh, I found it again. Would you have been happy with that? Yeah, I would have had to have gone, yeah, okay, fair enough. And listen, when he finds a good loophole and it works yeah i don't want to jump ahead to other episodes yeah but i think how hard we are on him for when he stuff like this is infuriating because it's not it's not a clean cut loophole. Sure. Yeah, fair enough.

You've done it. It's like a half-assed, like, slightly, oh, yeah, I found it. No, you haven't really. We know you've not found it. You created it and then tipped it upside down. You've not found it. And you called it a tangerine. So let's be serious here.

And I think, you know, there's quite a nice narrative arc to this series where by the end there's some redemption for him. There's some, we all unite together. You all respect him. We all respect him. There's a very nice moment if people are after this podcast going to watch the

next episode in preparation for next week's podcast. My favourite shot of the whole series is a little close-up of Rod at one point where he does a little smile to himself and goes, oh. Suddenly he realises that although they do like me, I just have to not deliberately antagonise them.

That's very sweet. But also, you've got to remember, I can't put it all on Rod, my frustrations here. Oh, you're absolutely seething, right? Absolutely. Well, the point where I tip over is not because of Rod, it's because of the taskmaster himself yes because forgiving for being impressed with rod and making up excuses for rod as well yes well i've just been given two points for something that i've clearly put a lot of effort into oh yeah but yeah but he's gone no no rules rules. You didn't do it the first time. Those are the rules.

Okay. Rod does something that is clearly not within the rules. He's not done it. And Greg goes, oh, yeah, I'll bend for the, yeah, I'll give him that. And whatever. And you're like, I'm sorry. What? What?

And there was a point there also going back to before I'm physically tired blah blah blah but I've enjoyed it so much

yeah and in my head I'm like you know in my serious head I'm going listen man this has been one of the greatest experiences

of your life. You've loved it. You cannot end this whole thing on a down note. You can't not enjoy episode nine and ten and then go home feeling sad. You need to get out of this funk. And in that moment, I was like, I'll tell you how you get out of this funk. Just yell. Just let it all out.

Let it all out. Purge it from your body and then end of the day if it's uncomfortable it won't make the edit so don't worry these guys have got your back just go for it and if it works they'll keep it in And it was a very long rant. The full uncut version is somewhere out there. Yeah. And I, you know, there are moments in the full uncut version

that I don't stand by when I'm, you know, because Greg gets the audience to cheer if they like Rod and I'm like, that's because Rod

is a very popular comedian. He's very successful. There's a bit of bitterness in there. Yeah. There's a bit of bitterness in there, a bit of career bitterness in there.

I don't stand by that. I'm not completely standing by that guy. But I was very worried. Well, you're more successful now. You don't need to. Yeah, now I feel great. But I was like, what are they going to keep in of that rant?

What are they not? How bad am I going to look? All this. And, you know, big thank you to the, the team behind Taskmaster, who, especially the people in the edit room,

because I think they edit it just right. Yeah. No one, no one looks that bad. We all just look pretty. Well, you accuse, you accuse Greg of favouritism.

Yes. Yeah. And get really angry. Stand by it. Yeah. You stand by it now in this particular task yeah yeah he's just he's just uh wanting to give his friend he's going yeah yeah i'll i'll say that's good for my friend but but james i said at the beginning i think it's quite good it's not good i think it's good i think it's a good it's not good I think it's good I think it's a clever

little loophole but he doesn't find it I would have done it myself yeah I would have gone oh I found this oh I found this he does find the satsuma

initially remember he goes in and he finds the satsuma and then he puts it in the sock it says find the sock in the satsuma in it

oh you're panicking now. I'm not panicking, am I? I think it's pretty good. And I think these things are always worth a try. I can't believe it. And it paid off for him this time. I don't see what's happening here. You're trying to get me to have another one.

On the pod. You know what? I can't believe this shit. Oh, whoa. One of them's my friend! Yeah! Oh, I've never been accused of bias before. And you got two points for that hula hoop bullshit. Oh! Oh, it felt so good.

Oh, please give me another two points for the hula hoops. Give me eight weeks of my life back. How's that sound? Task four. It's a team task, of course. Achieve a rally of exactly 24 shots. You must each take the same number of shots. You must be stood at least six foot eight inches apart from one another.

The object struck must neither touch the ground nor be held at any point during the rally there is a bonus point for the team which uses the most ambitious equipment fastest wins your time starts now so you're instantly annoyed with rod because he reads it out too quickly it gets to your time starts now too quickly yes yeah it quickly goes to your time starts now real quick yeah what you're doing was this was this task filmed pre or post Shelter when you had to build the extension? I, it was pre, I think, because I believe extension was the last one of the day. It's five group tasks.

We definitely started at the bandstand painting the stuff where I had a blindfold on. Yeah. We then, I don't know if it was that yeah we we did the the the scene from a soap where they're in the bath then and i remember this all very clearly because i remember how it tipped then we did the perspective one yeah and that's when the cracks started to show a little bit within the team because uh it was uh it was you know the phil got to do the punch line of it yeah

and i think there were members of the team or maybe just a singular member who didn't really like that so the cracks are showing because you can see it's all building clearly to this to the extension task because in this one when you get slightly annoyed at him you're like okay it's just a little hairline fracture in the team so this is like

this is like and look let me be clear as well i'm i'm delighted he did everything that he did yeah because it's funnier to watch yeah of course way funnier and i think he knew that at the time um and uh so he's starting here to kind of like every time we do the tasks he's starting to go against what or I was saying me and Phil are suggesting Phil's not really suggesting

no Phil just wanders around yeah so he's going for he's going against those things but this one I definitely just went along with what rod was doing yeah and it was i mean i think i think this is the one maybe that tipped me over the edge because obviously i didn't know about him looking in the garage on the day yeah but the last task we did i'm definitely going like you know when i'm building the extension i'm just

like just ignore him phil and all this and all that That's when I've kind of gone, he got us to do that keepy-up bullshit on the roof of the shed. And that was definitely not the right way to do that task. No. So I'm not having him sabotage another one. But this is the one where I'm letting him sabotage it. The moment, though, that he gets Phil blindfolded, the ball comes towards him and obviously phil misses it because he's blindfolded yeah and then rod just goes oh phil that's great so angry he's so angry at him it just sums up phil's taskmaster experience like people

people disappointed in him for not being able to do basic things that are so far outside of his grasp. Yeah. How is he meant to? Also, the blindfold he's got on isn't any blindfold. It's a proper purpose-built, blocks out any light. Like, it's not just we've tied a belt around his eyes or a piece of cloth. It's like fully everything's blacked out. He can't see anything.

And he's having to try and hit a ball that's coming to him. Obviously, we knew it wasn't going to work, which is why it's even funnier that Rod sounds disappointed with him. Because I think in the end, Greg actually says that you guys had the most ambitious equipment, which is why you get one point, even though you don't do the rally. You do 27 shots between you. But he still gives you a point saying it's ambitious,

but it's not ambitious. It's pathetic, that shed. No. Because you roll the ball across a shed roof. It's not a good rally. It's way more easy. Yeah, well, I agree with you. I was standing there thinking this is nonsense

because it's not keeping up definitely there would have been a moment in that where I would have said well it's not keeping up is it because we're rolling it across the roof we may as well roll it across the floor like it's not well this isn't

so I was doing that knowing well this isn't it and expecting that we're going to get disqualified and get zero points. But kind of doing it anyway. Because he'd taken charge. Yeah. That's nothing I could do about it. I mean, in the studio when we're watching it, I'm just like, well, I've just got to leave this really.

Because I've just ranted for ages about it. Yeah, you've blown your load at that point. I've got to just accept that this is whatever. And then I was very surprised to get a point and go, oh, suddenly that biasness has worked in my favour. Yeah, you've got to keep quiet about that. I love the way you celebrate at the end as well. Like, you go, like, 24, and then go, yes!

Like, everyone just said, yes, even though it's just, it's so shit. And we've miscounted. And you've miscounted. And you're like, yeah! Like, really cheering. And to contrast it with the girls' team, who are having, they're having such a laugh. Yeah.

They're, like, trying loads of different things out. They're having such fun. They're really, you know, it's great. It's wonderful to watch. They've had the best team day. They had such a nice time.

I think today I might be wrong about this. There is, they hit 24 and then one of them goes, leave it. And the other one does another one. Well, I don't know. It feels like they did 25 and it was just ignored

but maybe i was wrong about that yeah i'm not sure yeah there is that moment where they say that for sure yeah so yeah i'm not sure if they had done 24 or 25 um i mean yeah i definitely i mean everything is everything's wrong with our one though so they deserve points just for yeah they had a nice day yeah your one is a complete disaster if you show our team tasks in chronological order you can see that the day starts so nice we're really laughing at the bandstand doing the painting

together we have a lot of fun doing the acting especially if they show the outtakes of that where we're constantly laughing because it's funny every time Rod comes out of the bubbles and says rub-a-dub-dub. So we love that. And then, but then you... But then, yeah, the cracks really show in that one.

And the one where it's like the perspective thing, which I think looks great in the thing. And my nephews texted me about that one when they saw it. They said, how did you do that with the perspective? Oh, brilliant. I was like, we've got giant plant pots and we stood up with human-sized plant pots. That's good.

How does Alex lift it, though? Alex is very strong. Oh, that's great. It's interesting that you spent so long trying to work out what six foot eight was. I wonder if that paid off in the long run, did it? Well, the shed was 6'6 wide. They also had to strike it exactly the same number of times.

During the bit we just saw, you counted to 24, but you got to 27 in total. During the first 24, you hit it seven times, Phil, eight, James, nine. Also, you were seven minutes slower. Another agonising decision for me. Talk about the live task quickly. Write your name and draw a picture of a happy horse on your overhead projector acetate upside down.

You must not rotate or manipulate your acetate. You have 100 seconds. Most accurate picture and writing when your acetate is overhead projected wins. This is one of your crowning glories,ames like craig david born to do it i happy upside down happy horse writing your name upside down these are skills that you've got and you didn't realize oh i realized i know i had these yeah yeah yeah all the way through childhood i was drawing all the time constantly drawing cartoons and doing stuff that was like um i would be very much into drawing something upside down drawing something backwards doing all that stuff because

i was into puzzles and drawing so this is like i didn't even have to think about i i didn't even cross my mind that anyone wouldn't be able to do it when i did it i was like so obviously we're all going to do this easily and they'll show it and then it's just who did the best one yeah i didn't think oh everyone else won't be able to draw a horse or won't be able to write their name backwards or get that right well i would struggle i would i've got no spatial awareness so even now if i'm thinking of something being upside down and then. I've got no spatial awareness. So even now, if I'm thinking of something being upside down and then projected, I've got no idea how to do my name where to start. Yeah.

Well, yeah, that's... You just did it so easily. I mean, yours is by far the best, I'd say. The others are a bit weak. I mean, Rod's is a complete mess. I don't. The others are a bit a week. I mean Rod's is a complete mess. I don't even know what to make of Rod's.

I don't know if the thing that he says is the tongue sticking out is a dick and he's deliberately done it as a dick. I thought it was a cigar. I thought the horse

was smoking a cigar. Big old horse dick. Kerry's is almost completely wrong. Like, her name is backwards the right way, but all the letters are backwards somehow. It's the opposite of a Bosch task.

Yeah, it totally is. It's the, yeah. Yeah. Creative. It's a hussob. Yeah, yeah. It's a hussob. It's a hussob task.

She's, you know, there's one thing we can say about Kerry Godman. She's not a creative person. She'll absolutely love to hear that. Creative she may not be, but she got three points in this task. Rod got two. Jess and Phil got four.

You got a well-deserved five. But Kerry wins the episode with 21 points. Jess second. You third. Phil. Phil not bottom. That's exciting. Well, Rod is actually bottom. After all that ranting I do about favouritism.

Yeah, nine points. Rod is bottom. Very bad episode for Rod. So, take it back, I guess. Going into the final episode, it leaves Phil at the bottom with 120 points, and then you 26 points ahead of him going into the final episode

wow um rod on 153 carry on 161 jess in the lead going into the final episode you forget really yeah it was very tense at the top there but i sort of feel like this series gets a lot of chat about the worst players. So you forget how tight it was at the top and how good Jess was. Yeah, I think Jess was very unlucky and I think going into the final episode, knowing that you're ahead and knowing that you've done quite well

on the tasks that are left as well. Yeah, yeah. You know, must have been quite excited i think me me and phil go into it like well this is impossible so we're kind of all right that's also that's also a helpful energy in taskmaster i think you need everyone with those different different energies it's great James, thank you very much for coming and talking through the worst half day of your life. Thank you.

We'll do a podcast about Bake Off next week. We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. I understand this has been a tricky episode for you to talk about, but I hope that hasn't affected your point score of your experience. Please tell me, what point score will you give it to James? It's been

cathartic, but I'll give it four points, deducting only one point for reliving the trauma, but four points for the catharsis. Thank you very much. Favouritism, clearly, but Iiving the trauma. Yes. Four points for the catharsis. Thank you very much. Favouritism, clearly, but I'll accept it. Thank you very much, James.

Do you want to plug anything? The Off Menu podcast. Yes. Good, good boy. Yes. Well done, you. You've got a book as well. Yes, got a book.

James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media, Being the Best You Can Be and Saving Yourself from Loneliness from loneliness volume one thank you very much james thank you ed bye there we go thanks very much to james for coming in uh probably ruined his whole day by making him dredge up some of those memories but what a lot of exclusive insights we got in that episode uh it was great love talking to james as always spend most of my professional life doing it uh we will be talking about series 7 episode 10 but not for a good while we have an amazing guest lined up for that i'm very excited to talk to our guests about series 7 episode 10 but that will be in a fair few weeks because next week on the 29th of September,

Taskmaster Series 14 starts. So we will be talking to a special guest about Series 14, Episode 1. And then every week, as soon as the episode has been on Channel 4 at 9pm, at 10pm, the podcast will drop so you can straight away hear our thoughts, hear our angles, hear about the controversies,

hear about what we agreed with, what we disagreed with on the Taskmaster podcast every Thursday at 10pm for the next 10 weeks. And then straight back into it, Series 7, Episode 10. We never go away.

We will never leave you. Thank you very much for listening. We'll see you next week with Series 14, Episode 1, Chat. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.

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