Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 98. Chris Ramsey - S14 Ep.1
Episode Date: September 29, 2022It's here! Taskmaster returns with a brand new series and a fantastic new line up. To discuss all things Series 14 Ed is joined by comedian, podcaster and TM alumni, Chris Ramsey! Chris and Ed take a ...deep dive in to the first episode of the series and make their predictions on how they think the contestants will fare. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
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I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,
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interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.
It's me, Ed Gamble, host of the Taskmaster podcast.
It is an exciting day. Ring the big bell.
It's the start of Taskmaster Series 14.
Oh man, I'm so excited to do this.
Look, I obviously love looking back at old episodes
we've been doing that with series 7 recently
absolutely love looking back at them
chatting about them but you know I've seen some of those
episodes 3 or 4 times I'm looking for
tiny details that I haven't picked up the first
time it is so exciting to be looking at
a whole new series fresh
out the box and what a way
to start this series an incredible
line up an incredible episode and
we are very lucky today to be joined by a former contestants of Taskmaster on last series no less
the wonderful Chris Ramsey Chris Ramsey oh what a guy what a comedian what a podcaster
what a Taskmaster contestant he was so committed uh so good I mean he's just literally quite good
at the tasks um so very excited to chat to Chris
and hear what he makes of the new lineup
and this first episode.
As you all know, these episodes will continue to come out
every Thursday at 10 p.m.,
straight after the main show on Channel 4,
which is at 9 p.m.
So that's Taskmaster Channel 4, 9 p.m.,
Taskmaster Podcast, 10 p.m.
We drop it straight afterwards,
chatting to a different guest every week
about the episode that's just been on. Let's get on with it. Let's chat Taskmaster
series 14 episode 1 with Chris Ramsey. Welcome back Chris Ramsey to the Taskmaster podcast.
Hello. Hi. Nice to be back. It's very exciting to have you back, Chris. Of course, you are one of the stars of Series 13 of Taskmaster,
and we always like to get a star of the previous series
to chat about the next series,
because I feel like it's always a bittersweet conversation.
Yeah, it's weird.
I saw the line-up get announced,
and obviously it's a fantastic line-up,
but you still go, ah, should have been me again,
because you're a comedian.
And I watched it.
It was really strange.
I understand why you now, for want of a better phrase,
hang out the back of Taskmaster professionally.
And it's because I watched it and I missed it.
I watched the first episode and I was gutted and I missed it.
And I was like, oh, I really... Whereas when I did Strictly, I watched Strictly and I missed it I watched the first episode and I was gutted and I missed it and I was like oh I really whereas when I did Strictly I watched Strictly and I go fucking thank god I
am not doing that shit anymore but I missed it you're not tempted to do a Strictly podcast where
you go through every single old episode of Strictly and interview previous contestants
no I mean it would be the quickest way to have a panic attack. A gentle, no word of a lie, I hear the da-da-da-da-da-da-da, and I
tense up. It's a really,
really, because you're so far
out of your comfort zone, do you know what I mean? I'd much rather be
throwing toilet roll into a toilet.
I mean, so this
new line-up, you say it's fantastic. Let's
go through it, because this is the first episode
of Series 14. Fantastic. There's going to be a lot
of people listening to this. They want the hot hot goss they want the inside track on these
contestants it it truly is a fantastic lineup even on paper and now in practice i think we can
probably say uh yeah 100 um but there was i had no there was no doubt in my mind it was one of
them lineups where you look at it you go right they're all going to deliver they're all going
to be fantastic yeah so you've got dara dara o'brien fantastic yeah already already attacking things like the
sort of scientist that he is yes i've really enjoyed and i think hugely competitive is what
we can probably work out so far oh my god yeah and committed i mean he he's obviously he's used
to being i mean not in greg's chair, but he is the position of authority on a panel show
and has been for 17 series.
But now, now he's a contestant.
He's forced to scrabble around.
It was lovely to see him on the other side.
It was like, how the mighty have fallen.
Loved it.
And you can see him trying to maintain some sort of authority
and sort of air of seniority on that side.
But you just can't do it.
Sat next to Fern and John, you absolutely can't maintain any of that, to be honest.
It's impossible.
Yeah, it's really nice to watch.
It's really nice.
That change, the power shift, it's really, really lovely.
Yes, and Dara is, of course, sat in that seat because it's alphabetical.
The far left seat, if you're looking at it from a viewer's perspective,
and that is the cursed seat.
I don't know if you know about, statistically.
I don't know about this.
No one sat in that seat has ever won Taskmaster,
unless you count Adrian Childs winning the New Year's special.
So, Dara's already fighting a losing battle
against statistics.
Right, okay.
I think he might be the one to turn this around.
Do you think?
I'm going to put my reputation
on the line,
which is threadbare as it is.
Reputation on the line
and say,
I think Dora might win this.
Also,
he absolutely loves statistics.
So he probably loves
battling against statistics.
He wants them to spank
his bum and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that is...
Everyone who loves maths
wants statistics to spank their bum.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's their MO.
And then he wants a big planet
to come down and fly up his willy.
Oh, wonderful.
Sorry, Chris, I've just woken up.
I've just got to get this out of my system
That's fine
Fern
Let's talk about Fern Brady
As soon as Fern was announced
God I was excited
Yeah
She is
Unpredictable I'd say
To say the least
I would
Yeah
I'd double down on that
Yeah 100%
Very very funny
Very dry
In places
There's a moment
There might be A new catchphrase dry in places. There's a moment,
there might be a new catchphrase coming out.
There's one of the things we'll talk about today where every time she missed, she went,
oh no.
Every single time, oh no.
Of course, that put me in mind of your catchphrase.
No way.
It's amazing what Taskmaster can do
for seemingly quite simple words. It's fantastic. Oh no. So good. No way. It's amazing what Taskmaster can do for seemingly quite simple words.
It's fantastic.
Oh no, and no way.
Oh no, and no way, yeah.
She's absolutely brilliant.
We cannot wait to watch Fern's journey.
John Kearns.
Now this is probably the...
John might be the one that least people have heard of,
maybe tuning in for the first time
or popping the series on.
I think only diehard comedy fans will know who john is but not for long because he's gonna shine like no one's business on this show he's been amazing already in the first episode
so for context i mean i guess people who are listening to this episode um probably do know
who john is because we get we get the proper hardcore uh the hardcore taskmaster fans and
comedy fans um but if you don't, John is an absolutely amazing comedian.
He normally performs wearing big fake teeth
and a sort of monk's tonsure wig.
And he's the only comedian to have won Best Newcomer
at the Edinburgh Festival and then come back the year after
and won the main award at the Edinburgh Festival.
He's absolutely fantastic.
And I am absolutely intrigued as to how he's going to tackle this.
Yes.
We've seen, you know know we've seen a little flavor of what he might do in this first episode uh Nish Kumar came on
this podcast and said he thought that Kearns had the flavor of Kumar about him that he might be
such a Nish Kumar quote I absolutely absolutely love that. The flavour of Kumar.
Yes, so we'll see.
I also feel like they should release some kind of supermarket branded food
and call it the flavour of Kumar.
I imagine that's what he's going to make his real money.
Comedy will end up being the hobby,
but the flavour of Kumar will be in supermarket shelves all over.
Dead easy, fresh ingredients, dead easy to make at home, really easy to fuck up, the flavour of Kumar will be in supermarket shelves all over. Dead easy, fresh ingredients, dead easy to make at home.
Really easy to fuck up the flavour of Kumar.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, you have to do it over and over again until you get it right.
Sat next to John is Munya Chihuahua again.
I mean, I was excited for all of them, but Munya is, I mean, I guess,
is it the first time that Taskmaster have booked a comedian
who's not necessarily known for live stand-up work?
I would imagine so, yeah, because he's more of, I believe the kids call it a viral sensation.
He's a viral sensation. He's absolutely brilliant.
The fact is, he turns videos around at seemingly light speed.
So something will happen in the news and he'll release a full music video based on it.
It blows my mind
I remember
I've only met him once
and you and A-Caster
were standing
talking with the comedy awards
and I literally
walked past
and I just had to
rudely pop my head in
and go
you're fucking amazing
by the way
and then I just walked off
like that's literally
the only interaction
I've had with him
I don't think that's rude
if anyone did that to me
I'd think it was
the most polite thing
that had ever happened
I think you and James
were like
we're talking here
but he's
yeah
if you don't know
if you listen to this
and you don't know
about his videos and stuff
it's yeah
it's almost witchcraft
he turns these videos
around so quick
and I imagine
producers and TV channels
are watching it
the next morning
going how did this prick
do this
yeah Munya's an amazing choice
I'm looking forward
to seeing him tackle
those more creative ones where you have to write a song
or something like that,
because I'm sure they'll be coming up.
Hands down.
And also he's one of the weirdest people I've ever met.
Really?
Some of his stories from his childhood.
So he did an episode of Off Menu,
which is required reading for this podcast,
which is genuinely outstanding. like it only happens a
few times where people bowl me and james over by how weird they are and one of them is munya and
i'm hoping a few of those stories come out i mean we get we get a couple of them on this episode
yes there's a few there's a few more to come uh i think and look talking of absolute surefire hits
sarah millican yeah just what can you say uh national treasure
is probably what i would say she's a national i would i would put sarah millican in the national
treasure category and maybe slightly biased because i'm from the northeastern she's literally
from my town south shield um so funny so lovely uh attacked every attack every task just with that sort of upbeat,
sort of cheerful
and hilarious persona that she has.
She's brilliant.
But also,
so she is all those things,
cheerful and hilarious,
but also she is going to take
nothing from Greg, I think.
She's got more authority
on that team than Dara, I think.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
And she knows when to wield it as well. She doesn't just throw it around willy-nilly. She waits and picks a moment. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And she almost went to wield it as well.
She doesn't just throw it around willy-nilly.
She waits and picks a moment.
She's brilliant.
Absolutely lovely.
Totally.
Well, talking of willy-nilly,
let's talk about prize tasks.
The prize task this week
is the most jaw-dropping...
Sorry, everyone dropping item everyone listening
you'll get that joke right at the end
you'll get Ed's fantastic
time delay joke
remember it, put a flag in that
Ed Gamble doing his work here
put a flag in that Willie
the prize task was the most jaw dropping
item which is a lovely category
I am surprised when they do come up with quite
quite simple categories at this point 14 series in, it's a lovely category I am surprised when they do come up with quite quite simple categories at this point
14 series in, it's a lovely one
again I could
say it till the cows come home, it's the team who come up with the show
just stuff like that, amazing but yeah
oh it's great, Doris was first
he nailed it, he did nail it
a sexy cartoon version
of Greg
with the cartoon
Alex with the jaw drop,
the cartoon jaw drop.
I don't think anyone interpreted it as well
with a different angle, if you see what I mean.
Everyone else just went with surprising things,
but it was such a good idea.
It was one of them ones where you see it and you go,
right, you've seen every episode of this.
You've seen every episode.
And if you hadn't seen every episode before,
the minute you got booked for it, Dara,
you sat down and you watched every single episode of this show i'm absolutely positive of that yeah
so good and he's put work into it that's what we know straight away from that he's got the price
tasks he's gone away he's found someone who'd do that for him and he's sorted that out yeah other
people you can't necessarily say that for i literally sorry when he did it when that photo
came up when that drawing came up i literally audibly in my own house said you bastard because it was that that well done and i'm surprised he
didn't win the task this part but yeah yeah it was the four it was the four points for dara and
fern won fern won the task which i mean i think she really saved it at the end because the frame
picture of the rescue chicken called fern brady is is funny
but obviously it was wasn't jaw-dropping to me because i know about this couple who keep these
chickens and name them after female comedians yeah um but the jaw-dropping thing was that the
chicken's dead yeah and she had to read the tweet that said fern brady is dead during during lockdown in which it was a tough time for all comics let's be honest here
but you can see
on Greg's face
that is
that's so up Greg's street
that sort of story
of the chicken
then being dead
is so funny
but not for the chicken
of course
and for the rest
of the chicken family
Sarah Millican
etc
last time I was on
this podcast
and I've talked
openly about how
as comedians we are sort of pathetic
and very needy
the minute that she said there's this
couple who name chickens
there was a split second in my head where I was
like I don't have a fucking chicken and then they said
female comedians and I went thank god for that
because I felt left out there
I find out there's an Ed Gamble chicken
and there's a little bit of chicken
I'm fucking raging mate, I'm raging I'm on the phone with my agent Because I felt left out there. Yeah, you could have had it. I find out there's an Ed Gamble chicken and there's a big one between.
I'm fucking raging, mate.
I'm raging.
I'm on the phone with my agent.
I'm like, buy a farm.
It's a business expense.
Unfortunately, the chicken community
is the only place where male comedians
aren't overbooked.
Let's try and sort that out
because honestly, God, god shocking that's political
correctness gone mad ed let's have a bit of equality in the chicken kingdom please
um now i felt that because it went down it was going down in alphabetical order so it was dara
dara first then fern and then it was up to john and greg absolutely set him up to fail with whatever
it was because he went oh this
is going really great oh who's gonna let us down John and it was the Guinness Book of Records
I've got that book yeah I is it I can't find it
because I've just
shifted my desk around
but I've got that exact
episode
exact annual
of the Guinness record
and do you know what
it is good
it is George Robin
it is good
but when you've been faced
when you followed
those two things
yeah
there's nothing he could have done really
he was completely right
there's nothing he could have done
it had to trough
it peaked it peaked
it had to trough
and sadly it was with John
and it's fine it was always going to trough. It peaked, it peaked, it had to trough. And sadly, it was with John.
And it was always going to trough with John because he will not get overly enthusiastic
about anything.
He's never going to go,
oh, and this record, this record
is absolutely amazing.
He's just going to deliver it in that way.
He's not going to sell it.
Yeah, he didn't sell it.
He just couldn't sell it well.
But it's so funny,
just talking about the hairiest family and stuff, really made me laugh.
It's just when he said
that they're 90% here, and then
Dara Street in with, well, they're not 90% here.
And you're like, oh God.
You've already got your four
points, leave him alone.
You can already see the different energies,
and these are all different energies that you need, and John
is no energy, essentially.
And a phenomenal
line from Greg of does it have the man who's fastest to get one point fantastic brilliant line
hilarious classic Greg loved it and this happens quite a lot even in this first episode where
John will say something and then look quite serious Greg will say something and then John
will sort of stare at him for a couple of seconds and then just sort of do a really wheezy laugh. It's joyous.
Let's talk about Munya's,
which is a knitted version head
that apparently he paid £200 for.
Crazy.
Not jaw-dropping at all.
Who is selling that for £200?
I'm jaw-dropped that he spent £200 on it.
Yeah.
What's he spending £200 on that?
I mean, did he pay £200?
Did he panic when he was asked about it? I don't know, but... Did he on it? Yeah. Was he spending 200 quid on that? I mean, did he pay 200 quid?
Did he panic when he was asked about it?
I don't know,
but.
Did he commission it?
Did he commission it? To be done?
Yeah.
Because if it's a one-off,
then fair enough,
it's a lot of nip in that.
I get it.
Yeah,
man hours.
Yeah.
But what's the,
yeah,
but the wool,
yeah,
but the wool's costing you like,
what,
50p for that?
Yeah.
Well,
maybe they did it at night
and they had to have the light on.
So it's the lucky bill oh yeah we don't take these things into account anymore do we oh sorry mate i kind of do this by
daylight i'm swamped i'm gonna have to be on the light so it was gonna be four quid but now it's
200 quid fair enough i bought it from america It was dollars to pounds.
I mean, it's a very lovely thing,
but it's not jaw-dropping.
I got the feeling he had that and he just wanted to use it somewhere.
So that's where it went.
Well, I mean, you're a touring comedian, Ed.
Have you not come across...
It's somewhere in the north.
Someone throws them on stage.
I've got one of me.
I've got one of Rosie.
Jimmy Carr's got one that he takes everywhere.
I've not encountered them personally,
but it is a bit of a Taskmaster trope,
I think. So Alan Davis brought in a knitted
version of himself. I think Noel Fielding
brought... Yeah, with a cock as
well. Yeah, your pod dance got the cock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all got them.
Yeah. Or as Guz Khan described,
Alan Davis' knitted cock on this podcast,
a fake taxi dick.
Never forget that I love those cards so much
fake taxi dick
I thought
two points was lucky here
I thought
well I thought
John was unlucky
I think John should have
maybe got two points as well
because as you say
some of those records
are jaw dropping
Sarah's let's do Sarah's finally is a ceramic dildo with one of her got two points as well because as you say some of those records are jaw-dropping um yeah sarah's
let's do sarah's finally is a ceramic dildo with one of her jokes engraved on it that says never
put anything in your mouth that you don't want to i mean it's it's a lovely it's a lovely bit
so i had to i had to pause i had to pause the uh we get sent this on on the laptop uh a version of
the episode i'm watching before it goes out, and I had to pause it,
because of what Alex said,
where she said,
I've brought a ceramic dildo,
and he said,
genuinely,
I was told it was a bangle holder,
a ceramic bangle holder,
and I had to pause,
I had to press space bar,
and pause it,
and lie there,
and recover,
he's just,
he's just brilliant,
he's amazing,
so yeah, it was that, the set up, incredible, he's just he's just brilliant he's amazing so good
it was that
the set up
incredible
the joke about it
incredible
and the fact that it was
a ceramic dildo
just incredible
I thought that should have
got the five points
I thought it was amazing
it was definitely in with a shout
I mean
but as you say
Darius was fantastic as well
it was only really
John and Munya
who were the sort of
lower point scorers
but I think all in all
a very promising start to the series,
prize task wise.
So it was one point for Jon, two points for Munya,
four points for both Dara and Sarah,
and five points for Fern and RIP Fern Brady the chicken.
Yeah, there's this couple called David and Carol
that really, really love comedy a lot
and they have rescue chickens named after different female comedians.
I don't know if you've got one, Sarah.
This is Sarah Millican chicken as well.
That's the thing, they always update you on how your chicken is doing.
So, like, Fern Brady the chicken was the biggest girl of the lot.
She really enjoyed her food.
But during the pandemic, when I'd lost all my work and I
was feeling sad, I got a tweet from them
one day saying, Fem Brady
died this morning.
She was doing what she loved best,
eating breakfast out of David's hand.
That's pretty jaw-dropping.
Task one. What ten
films are you in? You have 15 minutes.
The most correct films named
Wins.
Chris, I think you would have been quite good at this.
I get the feeling you would have really
thrown yourself into this. I had serious
formal watching this. Serious formal.
I was just like, oh my god.
I love films.
I love putting my head in stuff.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was great.
It was genius.
It looked so funny.
I think you would have got
a bit flustered as well
with the thing on your head.
Of course.
Because I think if you'd started,
maybe if you'd found one
that you didn't know
and you're trying to work it out,
you'd then get really annoyed
with the box on your head
and get really annoyed
at Alex because of that.
I'd have probably accidentally
knocked a few of the things over.
But yeah, it was brilliant. And it was like, it was, the box on your head and get really annoyed at Alex because of that. I'd have probably accidentally knocked a few other things over, but yeah.
It was brilliant. And it was like
it was, you know,
like a radio phone-in.
Songs that sound like it, it was that level.
The fact that Jaws was Jaws was ridiculous.
Right?
But do you know what I mean?
You could hear the audience with things like Jaws and Jaws.
The audience were going,
oh, really annoyed.
Because they were imagining doing it.
So Rambo, great.
Absolutely perfect.
Jaws, ridiculous.
Sorry, it was Rambo.
It was Rambo then.
It was Wizard of Oz.
Wizard of Oz was good.
It was good, yeah.
I probably wouldn't have got that.
The Australian Wizard.
Jaws.
Yeah, Australian Wizard.
Fantastic.
Jaws was really irritating. I'd have never got Breakfast Club. I'd have never got Breakfast that. The Australian Wizard. Jaws. Yeah, Australian Wizard. Fantastic. Jaws was really irritating.
I'd have never got Breakfast Club.
I'd have never got Breakfast Club.
That is hard, isn't it?
I did enjoy Golf Club with Exma.
Yeah.
We've all seen that.
It's wonderful.
Frozen was great. Yeah, Frozen was really good.
Peas.
Yeah.
Peas. It was really good Peas Yeah Peas It was a phenomenal
Peas
Gun with the Wind
was infuriating
I would have
smashed the whole house up
That was on a level
with Jars
I think
Gun with the Wind
It doesn't really sound like it
Yeah
Carrot Tea Kid
infuriating
Yeah
Seven
I would never have got seven
Seven was a I love that have got 7 because 7 was metal
I love that John got 7
immediately yeah
because I sat there for the entire
task going well how did he get 7
how did he get that and my brain
did that stupid thing you know on my
series where I
walked through the door with the biggest shoes and the biggest
hat and I just found the biggest shoes and the biggest hat
and walked through and And Greg said...
Chris will never, ever forget you doing that.
Thanks, mate.
And Greg said,
did you think the task was just to find a big hat and some shoes?
And I was like, yes, because I'm stupid and I wasn't switched on.
I genuinely thought at first, I was like,
do they have to just list as many random films
where actors have the same names as them?
And I was like, this is what a terrible task.
I was literally,
well,
I was literally sitting there going,
what a terrible task,
the bloody scraper and the barrel,
they've run out of tasks.
And then I saw the stuff in front of them and I went,
oh,
Chris,
you're a fucking idiot.
Like,
can you imagine how shit it would be to just name random films?
Yeah.
Oh God.
But I love the idea that if you'd been in this series,
then you would have started just listing films with a box on your head
before you even investigated what was going on around you yeah but i know it
wouldn't have been great films it would have just been random stuff i would have just said words
yeah horrible the box on the head was great i'll be honest i'm pretty stupid as well when they
walked in with the box on the head there was a split second where i thought are they doing the
whole series like this because that's going to make things very unwieldy oh Oh, yeah. I mean, that would have been...
COVID, they could have sat together
and had the boxes on their head.
That would have been perfect.
They wouldn't have to have that fucking gape
and chasm in between everyone.
Now, Dara did way worse at this than I thought he would.
Yeah.
Because I think he's got a cultural appreciation.
He likes films,
but there's just something that threw him.
And this is why Taskmaster's great.
Sometimes when people are under pressure,
what they would normally be good at,
it just goes out the window.
And he has livid himself for not doing well at this.
Yeah.
And they came at it from a really,
they came at it from an angle
that sort of almost nullified his skills.
Yes.
Does that make sense?
His skills and his knowledge and his quickness
it was nullified
by the fact that
he had a massive box
on his head
and he had to touch
some random stuff
if you sat him
with a buzzer
and then pictures
came up
ram, ball, bang, bang
he'd have got all of them
but because of them
extra factors
and like you say
that's what's so great
about it
because of them
extra factors
he was completely
his powers were gone
it's kryptonite
you say that
if you sat him down
with a buzzer and stuff
but I did absolutely thrash him on house of games night so just fair enough
um john i mean john john did fine i suppose he got four out of ten uh as you say he got seven
straight away which is pretty impressive but then he did say peas yeah but it was you can already see
that in the studio
Greg has decided
he likes playing with John
so to go straight away
first episode
we said peas the film
John
do you want to just pitch us
peas the film
and he just does that
that mad
that mad thing about the gardener
would you watch that
because I'd watch that
of course I'd watch that
gardener
peas come and kill him
and live his life
yeah honestly that sounds like the sort of film I regularly do watch Would you watch that? Because I'd watch that. Of course I'd watch that. Gardener. Pete's going to kill him and live his life. Yeah.
Honestly.
That sounds like the sort of film I regularly do watch.
I'll be honest.
I don't think it should be a film.
I think it should be a couple of series Netflix.
A few series.
You need to really thrash that out.
John is the gardener, obviously.
You're 100%. And he's all the peas.
Yeah.
It's like Eddie Murphy.
peas yeah it's like eddie murphy fern i mean this is great this is a good example of fern's general energy is just
guessing some insane stuff but she guesses it with the same authority and uh and um insistence
she would guess the real thing so wizard boomang, she just says that about five times,
just over and over again, says Wizard Boomerang,
Australian Wizard, and Fanny Weapon.
Fanny Weapon made me laugh out loud.
Guarantee that is a film.
DVD, you know, in a small underground shop in America somewhere,
but I'll guarantee you Fanny Weapon is a film.
I guarantee there's about seven of them.
And also, and Greg mentions this,
she is instantly furious.
Yes.
So it's great.
She's under that big, yeah, of course, of course.
Fully furious.
But instantly furious with Alex as well is great.
It's a very good sign.
Sarah gets seven out of 10.
Great performance from Sarah as well.
And Munya, Munya, straight out the traps. Eight out of 10. I from Sarah as well and Munya straight out the traps
8 out of 10
I thought he was going to get them all
the 7 one was so meta
weirdly you had to think
outside the box even though you're inside the box
and we've already
got a story from his weird life
straight away
the gardeners
his nine gardeners
being set tasks
I mean
absolutely
bizarre
so great
and
is he bullshitting
I don't know
but
I don't know
I never know
with that guy
the tales
of his time
in Zimbabwe
just amazing
I just I loved again another moment I had to pause it
when Alex just went by the way in every task
he will mention Zimbabwe
fucking brilliant
first thing that happens in the next task
he mentions it again and you saw him
it puts to him and he shakes his head
it's so good
it's one point for Dara
two points for John
three points for Fern four points for John, three points for Fern, four points for Sarah
and five points for Munya.
Six points and John got four points?
Yes.
One film that you were adamant about was Peas, the film.
And as it's not a real film, I wonder if you wanted to pitch it maybe?
Peas, a lonely gardener during lockdown.
Yep.
The only thing that grows in his garden is peas.
Yep.
He goes to bed, the peas run in the house,
and they kill him and then live his life.
That's peas coming to a cinnamon eat.
Yeah, yeah.
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Task two, another task that you would have absolutely loved.
Land loo roll in the loo.
You must stay on the spot at all times. Most loo roll in the loo you must stay on the spot
at all times most loo roll in the loo wins you have 15 minutes your time starts now you know
what this reminded me of chris you know why i think i think most comedians would like this
this is the sort of game that you play backstage at a tour show when you arrive like two and a
half hours early 100 100 you've nailed it here's one that we've been playing
myself and Chloe Pets
my support act
you know when you go
into a dressing room
and there's a long
there's a rail
there's a clothes rail
and loads of empty
coat hangers hung up on it
get the coat hangers
go to the other side
of the room
and try and throw
the coat hangers
so you just get it
at the right point
so they hook onto the thing
done it
done it
brilliant
sometimes you get it
and it spins up
and falls off
yes that's so frustrating it's heartbreaking but when you get it oh boy what a feeling
we have the same tour manager um obviously we tour at different times um so you uh the game
that i play with the to imagine my support act isn't it's a different game i i do believe paul
tried to get you to play this and you instantly shut it down.
It has to be a dressing room that has multiple mirrors.
Yeah.
Have you played the eye contact game in the mirrors?
He told me about the eye contact game.
Please explain it for everyone.
So the best, I've got to say here, right?
The best dressing room to do this in
is Canterbury Gulbenkian Theatre.
Right.
The room is essentially an octagon
and there is a mirror on every single wall.
And basically you just sit during a conversation
and you can just turn away
and you can just find,
whoever you're with,
find the side of their head
through multiple reflections
and just find it
and stare at the side of their head
and just go,
Ed, Ed, Ed.
And they go, what, what, what? And they've got to look around and they've got to find where your line of vision is coming through
multiple reflections i like it and then think that the thing they've got it and then the minute they
get it and they lock full eyes with you you both go away and then you move on to another reflection
i'm not joking hours hours of fun brilliant game of fun. Brilliant game. Oh, amazing.
I hope the Taskmaster team are listening.
They're going to have it.
I mean, terrible telly.
Awful telly.
Really bad.
How would you film it?
Like Peep Show.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Like Peep Show.
Of course.
So this is one of those games, essentially.
I love it.
It's brilliant.
Okay.
Let's talk about the location.
They've got Gatwick South Terminal. Unbelievable, that. I thought it. It's brilliant. Okay. Let's talk about the location. They've got Gatwick South Terminal.
Unbelievable, that.
I thought it was a joke.
When he said,
we've took the full of Gatwick South Terminal,
I went, all right.
And then they're in Gatwick.
I thought, fuck.
Even when it then came up,
I thought, no, they're not really.
They're in some film set
that they're not using
to make it look like South Terminal.
I've got so many questions.
I've got so many questions.
How did they do this?
Well. Ed, are the contestants this
year getting paid more than we did?
No, all their money's gone on Gatwick
South Terminal.
Oh good, I feel good now.
I feel much better now.
In answer to the major question, I do
believe, and I think I have enough authority
to say this, that Gatwick South Terminal
was being refurbished and renovated
and was shut to the public,
and that's when they could get in there and film some days in there.
Wow.
But, you know, as a fan of sort of production nitty-gritty,
that's some incredible organisation gone on there.
It'll be someone knows someone.
It'll literally be someone on the team will be friends
with the person who works in the WH Smith in Gatwick South Terminal. Doith and gatwick south terminal so you don't think they've gone through the bosses you
think somebody works in wsm has let them in the back uh spare keys just honestly uh dave dave quit
uh left his keys i never handed them back in have them yeah that's why by 12. you can just see now
and again they'll go go go go and everyone
has to go and hide because the security guard's coming no one noticed the toilet in the middle
of the floor really strange and i thought airport security was shit task two is land loo roll in the
loo you must stay on the spot at all times most loo roll in the loo wins you have 15 minutes your
time starts now i mean this is like dream stuff
isn't it because like if you're if you're ever on a balcony or you've got that level of a drop
that's what you want to chuck something off it and into something without getting told off like
yeah without getting told off you have to do it and just i can't imagine the satisfaction of landing
a full loo roll in that toilet from that distance and a few people manage it but god that must feel good it's oh god yeah yeah it was um so when it first came on uh when the first read the task
my brain immediately went series two richard osmond two yoga balls top of the hill on the mat
yeah move the mat down so i was like right move the move the spot down and then i and then i
thought again i thought no they said you cannot leave that spot
once you've stood on it.
So they've covered that.
And it was one of them ones
where the whole time I'm thinking,
right, what's the trick?
What's the, what?
No trick.
No trick.
Just throw the toy roll in it.
And I loved it.
Pure, pure boredom game.
And I would die to have a turn of that.
Well, there's one trick that someone manages
and it's
sarah by asking for water and then wetting the toilet paper in the style of frank skinner in
series one wetting the tea bags um yeah it's a great it is a great idea but i'm not sure how
much of an advantage it is i mean that's a satisfying moment as well when the big wet
bit of toilet paper just sticks sticks to the. And she manages to make it flush as well.
Yeah.
It was one of the things of...
I imagine aerodynamically, if you wet it and squished it down,
it might be a bit of an advantage, but still, it's a tiny little...
In reality, it is a very small area to hit in.
I mean, come on, Ed, as men, we miss the toilet all the time.
As Munya said, wee-wee on the seat and all kinds. So to get in from mean come on ed as men we miss the toilet all the time as as monia said we were
on the seat and all kinds so to get in from up there crazy can we talk about john kern's paper
airplane please please beautiful absolutely american uh american beauty the paper bag in
the in the wind yeah i mean it sort of to me sums up John's comedy that moment because he writes incredibly beautiful
stuff that's transcendent and you just see that little plane and then just something really silly
happens at the end of it it's and it just it just goes really slapstick suddenly at the end it was
just beautiful and I'm surprised at how good he was at making paper airplanes out of toilet roll
and I'm like he threw it I'm like this he threw it. I'm like, this is just going to flop through the air.
And it glided.
Aerodynamically, it worked.
Not to where he wanted it to, though.
Oh, no, but still, it was beautiful.
It was the system,
the systems that John kept establishing
and immediately abandoning.
The confidence with which he said,
I'm going to throw it up first.
So good.
Misses, immediately changes what he's going to do.
I was heartbroken.
I wanted more than anything for that to go in.
When he said that, when he was like,
gravity gives you the power,
I was like, oh man.
I would have nothing more, like all net.
Do you know what I mean?
For him to throw it a bit,
for it to just humph straight in
and possibly damage the camera at the bottom.
Yeah.
There's been very few contestants on Taskmaster
who've ever looked cool,
but that would have made him look really cool.
Especially the only Russell Howard with the cricket ball
is the only cool thing that's ever happened on Taskmaster.
Apart from, of course, Joe Wilkinson with the potato,
but as we all know, that was a disqualification.
Heartbreaking for John.
Nothing, he doesn't get anything in.
And then they show a clip of him
throwing a toilet roll
from even further away, straight into
that bin. It looked like it had been CGI'd.
Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah.
Yeah, it was like
a YouTube trick shot.
You see YouTubers doing trick shots and they go,
first time, and you go, fuck off, you were there all day.
Brilliant. Yeah.
Absolutely loved it.
Munya, again, this shows just a little glimpse of
how weird he is uh breaks up the paper great idea i thought there was a couple of ways to go and you
know it's a good technique um and says lebron james every time he throws a bit of paper couldn't
believe he kept that up respect for keeping that up every time he said it like three or four times
i went hey stop now noBron James Every single time
He got 61 sheets in
So he said it at least 61 times
But he missed loads as well
He said it hundreds of times
He said it hundreds of times
LeBron James may actually get some kind of money
From this episode
They may have to pay him
They've said his name that much
Or maybe
Maybe he hears about it
and he does the New Year's special.
Maybe we'll get LeBron James in the
taskmaster house. And do no tasks
that involve throwing stuff into stuff.
Or bouncing stuff.
Great.
Maybe he'll make some creative music videos
and every time he makes one say,
Munya Jawawa.
Yeah, we talked about Sarah. She gets gets 80 sheets in it's pretty good uh the wetting the paper a lovely twist shows shows that she's
thinking um fern uh not thinking i would say i would say the opposite um but i think it's clear
the technique here is to just try and throw full rolls in because even if you get one
you've smashed it yeah exactly and again it's that thing fern did that thing that i did on a
few tasks where you go oh right okay so it's just throwing toilet roll hold on it's not oh no hold
on it is yeah and it's that you're constantly second third fourth fifth guessing yourself it's
crazy yeah and i mean this is where the new catchphrase crops up. Every time she misses with a full toilet roll.
Oh, no.
Every single time, I loved it.
I was like, yeah, yeah.
Because it's weird because you know you're saying it again
on moments like that.
You know you're saying it and you know you're just repeating it,
but you're like, ah, they let it out.
And they never do.
The only technique I could think of possibly trying,
and I think I would have tried this and would have failed miserably,
is somehow, I know it wouldn't have worked somehow holding onto one end of the
toilet paper throwing the roll and then if you miss try and hoist it back up again but then I
don't know how you thought about that yeah but then so I did think about that but then I don't
think it would reach yeah because one of them did that and it had they were already halfway through
the roll I'm not sure maybe point was if you, if you threw, I started thinking about it for ages,
if you held it and you somehow managed to get it in,
like an American kid TP in someone's house in a movie,
and it drops in, you've then got the whole,
you've got most of the rest of them.
So you're going to leave loose of it
and most of them are just going to be hanging out
and they're never going to give you that.
They're never going to give you that.
No, you're quite right, Chris.
I would have made a fool of myself.
Honestly, I'm so glad I'm here to just steer you right dara the physicist the physicist is coming
out to play um you can see him thinking it through he goes with the full roles i mean yeah he does i
mean he does it exactly right but he really considers what he's gonna do yeah and that's
why i think that's why i think he's a dark horse here and I think yes the ones that are
a bit more whimsy and where they come at him
in different angles but I honestly think
if he just
doesn't get himself too flustered, uses his logic
uses that big old brain of his
I think he could completely dominate this series
I really do
okay interesting, we've got 5 points for Dara
4 points for Fern, 3 points for Sarah
2 points for Munya and one point for John in what is already becoming an unfortunate trend.
Poor John.
Oh no!
It's true.
Wire.
Do you think I should go with the tactic?
I don't know.
Just...
Did that count?
No.
Obviously I could do it in smaller chunks and get something in here.
That wasn't one of them.
Sort of counted that one.
Is there an ideal amount of weight to stability?
Yes! Yes!
Can we break into a fishing supply store?
Task three.
It's the first team task.
Very early on.
We've had the first location task
and the first team task.
Create the best picture of a bird
on the black square.
You may not step on
or do anything to the black square.
Alex will walk towards you
every time you name a different bird.
Alex will stop moving
every time you name a different fish.
You have a maximum of 15 minutes.
Your time starts when Alex withdraws his nail.
This is all about teamwork, this.
Yes.
Yes and no.
Yes.
It's impossible.
It's about communication.
Oh, you think it's an impossible task?
A hundred percent it is impossible.
You wouldn't be able to do it on your own.
You wouldn't be able to do it with just one person doing it.
Yeah.
The fact that it's a team task, they've looked at it and with just one person doing it yeah the fact that it's a team task they've looked at it and they've gone okay and
the fact that it's a team task it's ridiculous brilliant and incredibly clever but oh my god
so you think they've been set up to do terrible drawings here there was no one was ever gonna
what was anyone ever gonna do here the only thing you could possibly do with three of you,
if you really planned it out,
can you remember when you were a kid and you would do a drone and you'd do,
you'd get your A4 bit of paper and you'd do band of green across the bottom,
grass.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Band of blue,
band of blue across the top sky.
Yeah.
Black elongated McDonald's M's.
Yeah.
For the,
that is the only possible way to do this.
But you would have,
it was a nightmare.
But even then,
the paint is consistently flowing
out of that thing, right?
So you couldn't do the M's
because it would just be one,
it would be one long line,
essentially, wouldn't it?
Well, it would be, yeah.
So you would literally,
you would be able to do one M.
You'd be able to,
if you planned it properly,
you'd be able to get them to arc across
and then stop at the bottom and then arc the other end and then you'd just able to do one m you'd be if you planned it properly you'd be able to get them to arc across if you're thinking and then stop at the bottom and then art the other end
and then you just have to see a fish and let them stand there and let a massive puddle of paint
happen on the left wing of the bird and that would be it i mean it is extremely hard and you've got
no time to plan it out because alex takes the nail out straight away so there's no there's no like time to choreograph what you're going to do um but munya and sarah like i i thought they immediately
got on really well um they got on really well and his uh i think it was mainly helped by his
nigh on encyclopedic knowledge of fish and birds yeah he was coming up with birds i'd never heard
of the confidence already for munya is great because he said, oh, yeah, I did my uni degree in it.
He didn't.
He did psychology.
But he just absolutely nailed it.
The absolute calm confidence of the man
is something to behold.
It was great.
It was actually, for a very hard task,
their effort was actually all right.
When it popped up,
and you're obviously looking for a bird,
you can see the bird there right away.
As Dara said, it does have big human feet.
But I do not know.
I will never understand why people criticise tasks
before their task has been revealed
and they know in the back of their mind
quite how awful theirs is.
It's a defence mechanism.
It is a defence mechanism.
It's a terrible defence mechanism.
Yeah, it's really bad.
But I don't think they can help it.
M. Ardlow Hanlon was the classic one
doing it on my series.
Straight, we'd
be all over you then you'd be like mate you've just people in glass houses mate like i feel like
i think ardell had done that to be funny because he knew how bad his was and he thought it would
be funny dara is genuinely trying to deflect here i dara was so good on this task and it was such a
beautiful but not good i mean he was terrible but he was so good to watch task and it was such a beautiful but not good i mean he was terrible
but he was so good to watch yeah because it was it just shows how much he's going to lose his rag
in the series oh yeah that's that's what i love so much as as greg pointed out numerous times
when he just looked up at alex it was he's gonna keep walking towards me are you like a like a
fucking man in a pub like a man like what you looking at? Do you want to take this outside?
Like, he's full on.
Like, he full on almost offered him out for a fight.
It was amazing.
He's like a scientist in a film who's trying to warn the government
about an impending disaster.
No one's listening.
No one's listening to him.
He's like, there's the bird.
The bird's there.
The beak's there.
The wing's there.
And everyone's going, mate, we can't see.
He's like, surely you can see the bird. At the end, there's the bird, the bird's there, the beak's there, the wing's there. And everyone's going, mate, we can't see. He's like, surely you can see the bird?
At the end, when they revealed it and when they totally stitched him up,
they put the little chicken head on the right and he was going, it's the other side.
It's the other side.
God, he was so angry.
It was great.
It's so funny.
No one on his team backing him up.
They'd all gone inside immediately as they finished.
And he was still out there trying to explain to Alex Weatherbird.
It's heartbreaking. It was just, it was a man, it was a man losing his mind. they'd all gone inside immediately as they finished and he was still out there trying to explain to Alex whether Bert is heartbreaking
it was just
it was a man
it was a man losing his mind
and again it bodes so well
it bodes so well
for the series
it really does
it was five points
for Muneer and Sarah
I'm not sure they deserve
five points
it wasn't that good
but
and two points
for Dara
Fern
and John
very funny
what about the group of two there was a better dynamic there I thought yeah we are pretty much Three points for Dara, Fern and John. Very funny.
What about the group of two?
There was a better dynamic there, I thought.
Yeah, we are pretty much an interracial JLS,
so I felt like we... Do you mind if I write that down?
Please do, yeah.
I thought we had an exceptional use of physics.
You know, a wise man once said,
gravity will do the rest.
So I felt like we did pretty good good you remember it differently to me live task the first live task of the series get the most weight on the
seesaw without popping the balloon taking it in turns you must place a single item of your
additional clothing onto the triangular basket the most weight in the triangular basket when
the balloon pop pops wins when the
balloon pops wins but if you pop the balloon you get zero points brilliant i mean you would have
loved this as well i think oh god again yeah honestly leave me just leave me in that studio
with a basket of clothes and that on my own and hours hours multiple balloons obviously uh
phenomenal they had they had the right they had the right technique in that you've got to go early
with the heaviest stuff, right, and get that on there.
Yeah, and Dora's very, very clever technique of putting it
to the sort of near end of the V is very good.
Yes.
Because it sort of displaced the weight a bit more
and sort of lessened the kind of uh leverage yeah the angle of
that so it was yeah it was it was it was lovely and i i didn't know that that last flipper was
going to pop it immediately when he put that in oh i was like nah surely gonna stop halfway and
then yeah yeah as i watched it pop i went that would have been me yeah i'd have put that flipper
in like an idiot and that would have been me it was great i mean
like all the best uh live studio tasks in taskmaster you end up watching them like a sport
so it was as tense as any sport um and uh the wonderful moment where for some reason munya
wants to hold john's hand to balance himself out and john just going no no. Yeah. Count me down for three. Count me down for three. I was like, oh yeah, three.
Oh, it was, why did he want to hold his hand?
I walked around, after watching it,
I walked around the house all night trying to work that out.
I've got absolutely no idea.
But it didn't work anyway.
It was nought points, nought points for Munya.
It was 1,071 grams for Sarah, 1,130 grams for Fern.
That's three points, two points for Sarah.
Dara and John both got the same 1,461 grams
and both got the five points,
a much needed five points for John at the end of the show.
I mean, what a first episode.
It goes to Sarah, 18 points.
Fern and Dara both on 17 points.
Munya on 14 points and John on 18 points. Fern and Dara both on 17 points. Munya on 14 points and John on 11
points. Everyone seems to have established
their roles immediately.
It's a very
lovely line-up of a cast that complement each other
in loads of different ways and everyone brings something different
to the table and that's the best.
They're the best casts of Taskmaster
in my opinion. I think you're right. I think
it's hit the ground running in the same way that
Series 13 hit the ground running.
Everyone's established their thing.
I'm a fan of everyone right away for different reasons.
And I cannot wait to see the rest of the series.
I think you've given your prediction.
We like to do predictions at this point.
But you think, so are we sticking with that?
You think Dara for the win?
Do you know what it is?
I know it's not all about intelligence
because everything throws something different at you
and the minute they want him to make a song or a music video,
he's possibly going to be fucked.
But he is so intelligent.
I just think he really, you know,
obviously they're all in different order,
so I don't know when they all did that,
but I just hope he finds,
I think if he finds his stride,
calms himself down, switches that
big brain on, uses his logic, thinks
outside the box, I think he can
dominate, I really do
I'm probably going to be wrong but I think I'm
right. No I mean from this first
episode, it was a very strong first episode
but a strong first episode as well for Fern
and Sarah
but you know, who's to say, John might have been
unlucky with the tasks that came up,
but then given his performance in the prize task,
you never know, right?
You never know.
He thinks very differently.
So it's whether he's on Greg's wavelength
for those prize tasks.
We will see.
Very exciting.
But whatever happens,
I'm sure it'll be a fantastic series.
Chris, thank you so much for coming back
on the Taskmaster podcast.
Could you please rate coming back on the Taskmaster podcast could you please
rate your experience
on the podcast
between one and five points
in the style of the Taskmaster
have you had a nice time
and if so
what point score
would you give that
nice time
you know what
for enjoyment alone
and enjoying talking
to my friend Ed
who I've known for years
again
I would have given it a five
but you were late
and you were pissed around you were late and well I wasn't
pissed around yeah you were late
and you pissed around with your microphone for possibly
15 minutes
the great Benito
sent me a broken microphone
you've literally got about seven podcasts
and I was here on time my mic was
working so for that three
and you've really
disappointed yourself you let yourself
down you've let yourself down what could have been a perfect experience what could have been
a perfect experience chris i'm not experience i'm too busy i'm the new i'm the new face of
like entertainment for the bbc i can't be doing this yeah that's great well we're going to use
your fucking old face whether they had to use your new one thank you very much Chris thanks mate
thanks very much there to Chris
a wonderful chat
god I'm so excited about this series
Chris was absolutely brilliant
I'm sure you can agree
you'll know all the stuff that Chris does he has a brilliant podcast called Shag Married Annoyed wonderful chat. God, I'm so excited about this series. Chris was absolutely brilliant. I'm sure you can agree.
You'll know all the stuff that Chris does.
He has a brilliant podcast called Shag Married Annoyed.
So make sure you listen to that.
It's out every Friday.
Thank you very much for listening to the Taskmaster podcast.
We'll be back next week with another special guest to talk Series 14, Episode 2.
The episode will drop straight after Taskmaster,
which is on Channel 4 at 9pm.
10pm, make sure you get yourself onto the internet ready for another episode of This Old Stuff.
Bye-bye!
Bye-bye!
Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations,
how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category,
and what the term dignified consumption actually means.
I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising.
Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.