Taskmaster The Podcast - Taskmaster The Podcast: Best of Part 1
Episode Date: July 14, 2022Get ready to feel all the feels whilst you listen back to highlights from the Taskmaster Podcast. This first instalment features some of the wonderful guests that have featured on the podcast. They sh...are their highlights, low lights and lasting memories from their TM experience. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode
where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,
how a cannabis company competes
with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated
category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers
interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello, welcome to the Taskmaster Podcast. It's Ed Gamble here, host of the Taskmaster Podcast,
and today is a very special episode. It is not our normal sort of episode. Today is a best of
the Taskmaster Podcast. This is a best of all the edited highlights package
from the many, many episodes of the Taskmaster podcast.
It won't necessarily be all the in-depth task nerdy stuff
this best of.
It's more the fun stuff that happens around the edges.
We've had some incredible guests,
some very silly conversations,
and that's what will be in this episode.
We will be back on the 28th of July
with series seven 7 episode 1 chat
but for now enjoy this bit of silliness thank you very much bye-bye
star of series 5 i'm going to call you the star of series 5 nish because as of yet we haven't
booked anyone else from series 5 the goat the goat of series 5 theAT of Series 5. The GOAT of Series 5. And for anyone listening, GOAT is an acronym used by the kids, which stands for greatest of all time.
But when we call Nish the GOAT of Series 5, we mean he was the worst player in a natural GOAT.
Nish, you must have, you know, you've agreed to do this. so you must have fond memories of doing taskmaster i have
many fond memories of doing taskmaster ed none of them really um you know to do with the success of
doing the tasks but i've always seen success i've got i'm measuring it on different metrics
did i bring joy to people yes did i bring light into their otherwise meaningless lives yes did i win any of it no
i've just got a more holistic you've got to stop applying your western monotheistic philosophies
and notions of success to how i did in taskmaster so straight away there with that answer nish uh
you've managed to alienate people by calling their lives meaningless and attack...
And also somehow managed to attack
the West. This is...
What a start from Nish. This is
why you booked Nish Kumar.
Welcome, James Acaster.
No, it's not that one.
We're doing a different podcast this time.
This is the Taskmaster podcast,
where you are a special guest, James.
You finally get to relax and just enjoy the experience.
Oh, thank you, Ed. What a nice surprise.
Just kick back, relax. You're not working today.
Hoo-hoo.
What about you?
Are you working?
I'm working my B off. Wait till you see me at work at this one.
Off-menu, very chill experience for me, to be honest.
It's just a sort of little chat about food.
I do that all day, every day anyway.
This, I do notes.
I do prep.
Oh, dear.
Deary me.
Are you impressed? I am quite impressed impressed a different side to you i've
never seen before this little swat oh with a little shiny apple for the teacher yes i would
bring a teacher a little shiny apple i guess who's your teacher in this scenario i guess greg or
alex actually i'm gonna say alex is a teacher in this scenario. Really? Yeah. Because he's the one who gets told off on the show a lot.
But now the podcast is below him in terms of authority.
So he very much takes out his authority on us.
Yes.
So who's Greg then?
Is he the headmaster or is he Ofsted?
God.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, dear.
Do you have fond memories of your experience on Taskmaster?
Yes, I have fond memories.
I have ups and downs in my mind from it.
You know, it was tricky being part of a team, a cast where, you know,
if any of us had been on any of the other episodes, any of the other series, I mean, we probably would have won.
So it was difficult being part of a lineup where all of you would have won on any other series.
But now you're having to compete against each other.
And I think that was the trickiest thing.
That is an interesting take on your series, especially given, I think in the first episode,
you suggested that you were the stupidest lineup yet.
That was an early remark
that was proven to be wrong very quickly after that.
Like the more it progressed,
the more it was clear
that we were all champion of champions.
It was kind of like a champion of champions series
without having to do the other series before that.
So take us through your lineup then
and then tell me why each of them
would have been a champion on another series.
Yes.
Kerry Godleman.
She would have been a champion on any other series.
She was a champion on our series, to be fair to you.
Well, I agree with that.
She was the champion of your series.
Very, very good.
There was the catchphrase,
bish, bash, bosh, that Greg gave her because she was doing things real straightforward um jessica nappet yeah i
think only lost by one point you see um just really creative of all of her tasks i agree
uh threw herself into everything threw herself off the stage at one point onto the floor and uh
i didn't see it.
I was blindfolded at the time.
Yeah.
But I heard it.
I mean, we're paddling around, aren't we?
Because I agree with those two.
I thought they were both very good.
I think they would have done very well on any other series.
Yes, so far.
Maybe we should dive headlong into the pool of faeces
that was the remaining three people.
Well, I don't think the other three were a pool of faeces.
No, Rod was quite good.
Rod was quite good. Rod was quite good.
Yes, so let's start with him. Rod Gilbrets.
Fantastic.
You know, really
utilised his
friendship with Greg a lot of the time
to give him a bit of leverage.
That was smart. And also
really made use
of Alex all the time.
Yeah, very clever.
Sprayed water up his bum at one point and stuff like that
very good and really
you know he would really
think about his tasks long and hard
any other series no one else would have thought
that much about their tasks
he would have defeated the people
so now it's you
and Phil left place
bottom I think I guess your second from last phil was
last yes phil wang was last but again in any other series he would have won and i was explained
explain that well phil had a very nice outfit that everyone still talks about to this day that
you wore for all of the tasks and he he was just on Greg's bad side.
I don't know what he did.
Maybe down the walk to the studio or something like that
to upset Greg, said something out of turn.
But he was getting penalised left, right and centre
for stuff he didn't deserve.
Because of his outfit, we were getting penis eyes.
Oh, I see what you mean.
Yes, yes.
But he had a catchphrase.
He kept on saying that he haggled for stuff.
That's got to be worth some points.
And just very good at thinking, you know,
the way that Phil would think about tasks
was he would just kind of try and think of a different task
and kind of do that.
And that was quite clever.
So I love Phil to bits, but he was quite bad at a lot of the tasks.
So immediately he wouldn't have won any other series.
He interpreted them differently.
Yeah, wrongly.
James, how would you have won any other series?
Tell me.
Through being great.
On so many of my tasks, I did really well.
And it was just unlucky that there was a bunch of other people
on the same series as me who were also amazing.
And we were all so good.
But I'd always think, again, i had a different way of thinking about it
and i'd really throw myself into it i used my knowledge of the show i watched so many episodes
of the show i really knew my way around the house yeah well well yeah you won on your series which was let's face it dutch central you're on the credits as a task consultant and there's always a lot of chat about that online
what does tim actually do to be the task consultant it is is it like a regular
salaried job there's quite a lot of chat offline actually
mainly coming from alex going why why should i put you on the credits yeah the online
chat room sounds a lot like alex phoning me it's the it's the old what do you actually do chestnut
isn't it my my one my one worry about coming on this show so can we just focus on can we just
focus on me as a contestant yes we don't we can we don't need to drill down
onto the actual minutiae of what i do in my role as i know it's i know it's a slight problem it's
the elephant in the room i get that it's just the first thing on my list tim the way you talk about
it it's as if i never come up with any tasks and it's all coming from alex's head and we've got a
gentleman's agreement that my name just stays on the credits.
There must be a task to it.
There must be at least one task every series that you come up with or help with, right?
Oh, you do me an honour.
Thanks, Ed.
It's smoke and mirrors.
I mean, I don't know.
I'm sure Alex doesn't want me to sort of discuss
which tasks are his and which task is mine well look we have an we have an informal agreement we uh we meet up well obviously
that's in a way the pandemic has actually um just put the final nail in the coffin of my task
consultancy because now the the meeting up bit has gone as well. Yeah, you can't even go for a pint.
That's what we would do. We'd sort of go to, there's a pub quiz in his village and we'd go to the pub quiz and in between we'd sort of say, well, have you had any tasks that are sort of to do with vinegar or stools or dartboards or anything like that?
So Alex comes up with all the tasks
during the pub quiz and you go maybe they could do a quiz yeah yeah after about four or five
five bites i'm just sort of looking at a barman and say can we make them all dress up like him
or something is there something in that okay well we won't we won't drill down into that further
tim we'll we'll focus we'll focus on you as a contestant in Taskmaster I think I'm a very very
efficient sounding board for for Alex but I would concede that other people could equally do that
soundboard role who buys the drinks in that scenario well Alex because I'm there as his
task consultant I see I said now I'm now I'm beginning to see. Now I'm beginning to see the setup.
I'm beginning to see why it's a pretty sweet job
for old Tim Key.
I heard that you've had Nish on the podcast, right?
I got tweeted saying that he had a bit of chat
about how competitive we are, which is stupid.
It's fair, would you say?
I mean, when it was established that me and you
were going to be on the same series,
Nish and my girlfriend were both absolutely devastated because they knew
that it would be it would bring out the worst in both of us
it was gonna potentially break up a friendship i think yeah but thankfully it didn't but no
yeah they were really scared there was a lot of chat there was a lot of chat on the text threads
about how awful this was going to be
and how insufferable we would be.
The thing is that Nish is such a...
Would you say he's not a competitive person?
When he knows he's not good at something,
he'll be the opposite of competitive.
He'll deliberately be worse
and just screech laughing every time he messes something up.
He'll be a chaos element.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, that's true we
did invite him into the um into the fold the escape room fold for a brief uh for a brief time
that is actually not bad there yeah no because he's he's the chaos element he also when we've
played board games with nish before as well he won't take it seriously enough it's quite
frustrating but you know he's an entertainment value he's a he's got entertainment value and We've played board games with Nish before as well. He won't take it seriously enough. It's quite frustrating.
But you know, he's an entertainment value.
He's got entertainment value.
And that's what we'll say about Nish.
Yeah, exactly.
But I can't imagine anything worse than being on a team in Taskmaster with Nish.
I think that would be my worst nightmare.
Oh my gosh.
I'd kill him.
I'd kill him.
I'd actually kill him.
It'd be the first example
of like a proper crime on Taskmaster
it would be awful
they'd be like well we can't edit around it because it happened
like we know it happened
may as well show it
we'll have to censor it quite a lot
but we'll have to do it
because we have to explain why he isn't in the
live shows
so yeah they'd have to open it because we have to explain why he isn't in the um and the the live shows so yeah
yeah they'd have to open with that task right on that on that series they'd have to be welcome uh
here's your competitors and there'd be an empty chair and you'd have to open with a team task
where you killed nish kuma and then just carry on with the rest of the series i'm zooming from
prison yeah or just i'm a little cage just they still want me in the just a little cage
yeah yeah they've agreed to let just me come in a little cage uh still in prison sort of a portable
prison because they want the banter yeah and uh yeah or just i send a lawyer to Welcome Kerry Godliman to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you so much for coming on.
Oh, it's an honour.
Is it an honour?
I think so. I feel like I'm part of an alumni that i'm
really chuffed to be a part of well you're you're part of an elite alumni of course because uh you
are in the winners hall of fame that's what i've decided to call it very tenuously if we unpick
that it's one point in sausage or finger that is it's very tenuous my uh my place in that in that role call i don't think because no because i think
you needed to be you needed to be consistent you need to be good you need to be strong throughout
the series to get to the point where it was down to one point in sausage or finger
so obviously shout out to jess napper who's been on the podcast before who was one point away from
it was so nearly hers it was so yeah did that make you
feel uh more excited and better about the victory that it was only one point in sausage or finger or
did it did it make it did it sort of take the sheen off it at all uh i tell you what honestly
without wanting to sound like a wanker i was so happy that there was no sheen to remove it was all just good times and she's so lovely we'd all
had such fun and at that last bit I just genuinely didn't know if it had gone my way or her way we
knew it was close yeah and and I was just giddy I genuinely was like oh this is all we're winning
we're all winning I think sausage or finger might go down in history as the tensest studio task in Taskmaster history.
Oh, man, it was so intense.
It was so intense.
And in that moment, there were bits of that that I was so focused.
I don't think I've ever been more focused.
I felt like Luke Skywalker.
I just...
I just...
The intensity of me trying to channel,
what's that sausage? what's that finger?
You are responsible for one of my
favorite Taskmaster moments.
I'm very, I'm a very,
I'm a very basic man when it comes to humor.
I chuckle at very standard things.
And what am I going to say, Jess?
When I fell off the stage, Jess.
When you fell off the stage when you fell off the stage
of course you but you had to do a funky a funky walk was it and then hit the drum at the end
yeah you had to do the silliest walk everyone else is blindfolded you had to do the silliest walk
and then there was some sort of timing to it it had to take 10 seconds or anything obviously it
took me a little bit longer than 10 seconds because what i did was i thought i'll pretend to fall off the stage because that will
make greg laugh and that'll be silly so i pretended and then i did my pretend recovery and then i
actually fell off the stage it was perfect oh it was so good and then but everyone was genuinely
quite concerned.
Yeah, there's a moment where Greg leapt up from his chair
where I was like, oh no, this might be serious
because he's really worried about this.
But then I was like, well, they've left it in the edit.
So it's probably not, she's probably not dead at least.
If I had have died doing that,
I definitely would have liked them to have aired it.
Yeah, oh, for sure.
It felt like-
As a tribute.
Have you seen Catchphrase?
When that clip from Catchphrase where the presenter appears at the top of the stairs in the audience to run down to start the show?
And he trips and falls down the stairs.
And then it immediately hard cuts to him in the studio being like, well, that was two days ago and I broke my foot.
It felt like they might do that.
They used to let you fall off and then they cut to later and you're sat on the set.
Oh, it would have been great, wouldn't it?
That moment I now am sort of most known for
and that's the thing that I probably
get messaged about the most.
Well, you've made a lasting effect on Taskmaster
more than a lot of people do
because they've named that stage after you.
I know. It's the Nappit stage. It's called the Nappit. I know. I got a little
photo message from Andy D, the director. I was absolutely delighted.
I'd just like to focus on the phrase human tapas there, Kerry.
I knew you'd like that.
I've never heard that before.
Absolutely brilliant.
That could be a new name for Taskmaster if there's ever like...
Totally.
If Marvel ever sue Taskmaster for using the name Taskmaster
because that is a villain in the Marvel Universe.
They could go to human tapas.
They could go to human tapas.
You've got to have a little bit of everything. everything absolutely it's a really important thing to bear in mind when you're
putting together a taskmaster cast human tapas if you were to compare your series series seven
yeah uh and everyone's a different dish on a tapas menu yes i love what What tapas dish would you say you are? A staple, I think, like a potato-based.
A patatas bravas.
Is that what it is, a patatas bravas?
Yeah.
That's who I am.
That is what I am.
And then James was like something a bit experimental
where you're like, let's just give it a go.
Let's just try that.
Like a prune wrapped in bacon, maybe.
Yes, yes. Where it might work out and yeah but it might not yeah uh yeah i think i'm a more sort of solid
potato based thing i mean obviously we're going to have to go through everyone you you will have
to steer this because your knowledge of food is far superior to mine i'll take what i'll take what
i'll take what you say and i'll work out what spanish dish best best relates to it okay so rod rod would be quite a fiery i'd say like a peppery
meaty sort of situation do you know what i mean like chorizo yeah totally chorizo all the way
uh which gets us back on the sausage theme so this is yeah this is linking up. What do you reckon Phil Wang... What was Phil Wang doing?
There were moments...
Given his costume, we should have picked Jeretho for him as well.
Yes, that's true.
God, what would Phil be?
He'd be an omelette.
He'd be a sort of omelette thing.
Yeah, like a tortilla type thing.
Tortilla, absolutely.
A tortilla.
Now, why would Phil be a tortilla?
Because he's wearing a yellow suit.
That's the way.
And then, Jess, what do you think?
What do you think for Jess?
The thing is, you and Jess were so close.
Maybe the issue was you were both patatas bravas.
Yeah, maybe we were both patatas.
One of us had a more cheese base
and the other one a chilli twist.
Yeah.
Slight differences.
Yeah, maybe Jess would be like a croquettas like a
what's that uh it's sort of like a deep fried crispy thing uh with like ham and cheese on the
inside lovely it's delicious it is a staple of tapas yeah but it's got a little bit of flair
how do you feel about that for jess yeah no that sounds perfect the flair is definitely how I
would describe Jess did you find that doing it was it a nice was it a nice break from everything
going on in the world a hundred percent yeah and you know what I'll be honest with you because when I got offered it,
it wasn't that I was hesitant to do it because I always was like,
yeah, I would do it.
But I had that thing in the back of my head.
I was like, is it kind of what, is it the right tone for something?
You know, is it like, is it kind of the thing I want to be doing right now?
And, you know, but I'll be honest with you, man.
Like it was such a blessing to just be silly because it's been such a long
time since I've been able to be silly and just,
and have fun with that and not, and not take yourself mad serious.
And, you know, and, and so.
Yeah.
Cause I guess it's a,
it's a different tone to stuff you've done in the past bearing in mind,
you know,
you've done documentaries where you've gone around talking to hate groups and
stuff in America.
And this is, this is not that, I mean,
Alex has obviously
got some awful awful hatred uh opinions but um i mean listen oh he told me don't get it
he showed me a few youtube documentaries if you get what i'm saying
it's just a guy's voice saying have you ever wondered did you go okay it's gonna be
but no it's um yeah man it was and you know what like even just like behind the scenes
stuff i don't know how much behind the scenes stuff you want to hear but like it was just it's
just a nice crew it runs smooth yeah it's just and it was just generally like a fun show to do
like i remember like being excited to go work again and that was you know but it was fun as
fuck man i can't even front man it's a fun it's a fun show and i understand why people are so into it i think that was kind of the thing that threw me off a bit is i didn't
realize i know of the show and stuff but i didn't realize how into it people were oh yeah i mean
there's a podcast about it yeah that's how into it people are people people just hoover up any
taskmaster content they're obsessive i did a joke on my twitter where i was like um i'll be on
taskmaster tonight giving minimal effort because you know he said that on my twitter where i was like um i'll be on taskmaster tonight giving
minimal effort because you know he said that's my cat my character is i kind of i don't really care
too cool for school like that's kind of the character i go for and then someone messaged
me saying don't ruin this for me and i was like oh damn this is intense bro where people are like
do not ruin it was so it was so much heart in that tweet just like please don't ruin this this is all we have at the moment yeah with your nonchalantness
so your kids are big fans of the show like you say uh i know everyone says these things almost
because to a point of irritation i mean yeah they they they watched i mean obviously i'm a comedian
so the last thing i want to do is watch comedy in the evening yeah my attitude is if it's not
it's not got subtitles a child's been kidnapped i'm not interested it's got to be miserable really
miserable and so the fact that you know i love a Alex and Greg, but I'm not going to pretend that I was glued to Taskmaster
any more than I was to any panel game.
I just haven't watched enough of those things
because it's a busman's holiday, right?
But this show was on endlessly in our house.
And I mean, like, back-to-back episodes,
whole series in one day, just endless.
And then, of course, they reach a certain age where then the
younger daughter grows up and then they want her to watch it so they do yeah they're on about the
third box set of the whole thing they know everybody from that show and that show alone
so when i did a radio show with sally phillips they couldn't believe that sally phillips from
taskmaster was here and i oh, was she in it?
And they were like, series four, came third, or whatever.
I've probably got that fact wrong.
Yeah, you have.
You've probably known it.
You're probably like, my children.
So they know everything.
And then, of course, you get to the next stage where we had to then start making it.
They film it on a phone and make episodes at home.
So we have to take part.
He edits it, the eldest child we
watched the version of the show that he's made yeah tricky little tasks he's made up you know
yeah so then the game came out I see this is a bit of a therapy session came out so that that's
the whole new world of involvement in our house yeah Yeah. And then, of course, I'm in it.
And it's like, it's just every second.
I've done anything, it's finally over,
and then I've got to come and do the podcast.
I mean, when's it going to end?
on the screen romesh was it an experience you you enjoyed because let's get straight into it your vibe your vibe generally is pretty annoyed right i uh i i my recollection of enjoying Taskmaster was that I enjoyed it and then
I was asked to come onto this podcast
and then I was sent the recording
when you text me about coming
onto the podcast I was very clear about the fact
that you wouldn't watch it back
I wouldn't watch it back right because
I'm not happy
with how I came across on the show right had you
seen any of had you seen any of it before i've seen clips but the truth is i've got to balance
it up against the fact that i hate everything i do so there's that there is that but you know
hang on you hate everything you do so you basically can't put on the telly
telly uh yeah well i don't i i tend not to but like um i um i was every time i'd see a clip because obviously taskmaster at the time that i did it or that we did it rather we didn't know
what it was going to become obviously it's a monster now at that time it was very much
we're just sort of seeing what happens. And now I constantly find myself tagged in
where they're trying to talk about the best moments
or key tasks in the history of Taskmaster.
And every time I watch myself,
every time there's a clip they put up of me,
I just watch it and I go,
just calm down, you prick.
Do you know what I mean?
Is it worth getting that?
We're getting so worked up you know like because I do get
worked up the reason I got worked up on Taskmaster
is because I am shit
at everything and so
you try and
counteract that with passion
but do you know what I mean
and so
that's kind of where that came from but now
when I watch it back, I think it just feels a bit disproportionate to the situation.
Welcome, Catherine, to the Taskmaster podcast.
Oh, thank you for having me.
We're very, very happy to have you, a contestant on season 10, of course.
So not that far gone. I suppose it's a while ago for you, but in terms of the viewers, you've not been long off the screens.
No, and it feels like a fresh experience still in my mind. You know, I'm still sort of recovering.
I'm still sort of recovering.
I was going to say, the way you said fresh experience there didn't necessarily give it a qualitative level of
it was a nice experience or a good experience.
It was a positive trauma.
Okay, so sort of like the sort of thing they did in, like, 70s experiments.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That, you know, ultimately it was a good thing,
but it was quite painful on the way.
No, I mean, you know what?
I absolutely loved Every Minute.
I do think that having watched, you know,
the new bunch and previous bunches,
we did all seem quite hysterical.
And I think that's probably because we were, you know,
in the throes, early throes of the pandemic,
because I just remember, I mean, that really is quite significant
because I think we hadn't seen other people.
Because I just do remember us all being quite out of control
with laughing, which, you know, I don't want to look indulgent.
It's just it was just, you know, you know, laughing as is, you know, a hysterical and hysterical response to stress.
And I think that's kind of it was sort of a breakdown that was going on for all of us.
And, you know, just to reassure any viewers out there, I did, you know, when you put your name into Google and they have suggested search ideas that come up.
And since the show, Catherine Parkinson, mental health is.
health is I just want to reassure any concerned people that well I mean you know that I really enjoyed myself I really enjoyed myself even though I looked like I was having a really bad time and crying. It was tears of laughter.
And I love nothing more than celebrating my incompetence.
It's my favourite thing.
So it was all great.
Googling it is funny, though.
Just going like, is she all right?
I better just Google it and see if she's OK.
Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.
With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.
And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer.
I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed,
how a cannabis company competes with big corporations,
how a cannabis company markets its products
in such a highly regulated category,
and what the term dignified consumption actually means.
I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising.
Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.
This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices.
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But it's like, it's funny because I say to people,
sometimes you do shows that look really fun and you're like, yay.
And then you get there, you're like, oh, it's okay.
It's not, but Taskmaster is as fun as it looks like it is.
It was just pure joy.
And Alex Horne is like the world's nicest man.
So when you spend the day doing tasks, also I thought I'd done absolutely phenomenally incredible at all my
tasks I literally my friend Camilla is a huge fan of the show and she was like how did you do and I
was like spoiler I did amazing and I truly thought I did so like when I watched it back I was like oh
okay okay that was you have no concept, do you?
Exactly.
It's always a mistake, I think,
to think that you've done either very well or very badly.
I think it's safer to think you've done badly
and then you can only be surprised.
It's the old exam technique.
You've got to assume you've done badly.
Yeah, pretty much.
That definitely came across in your episode, I think, as well,
that you were so surprised that you hadn't beaten everyone in everything.
Like the donut on the cactus.
I have issues about that.
I'm not happy.
I literally, on the day, right?
So I ran out of the house and they had that sort of crystal maze dome thing.
And I saw the giant cactus and I was like, oh my God,
like this is sent from God.
This is perfect.
So I brought it in
and put it down and then I just put and the donut went you know it went through and I said Alex can
you confirm to me don't I don't let me a gamma um Alex was like yeah it's through and I was like
okay and then I was like can I do what I want so I made a lovely fancy man it was a tribute to Alex
and I sort of dressed him up in a suit and i was like that's class
and it was really massive so do you feel like you've been betrayed somewhat by alex because he
he did he did clarify that your donut was through the cactus was through the donut i feel betrayed
that this is yeah i'm gonna like start a rap beef with alex i have to learn to rap first
we're gonna be like the frankie and amen of 2021
alex we're in the rivalry um but yeah i know it's very generous of you nicola to say that it's you
who needs to learn how to rap to have a rap battle with alex i feel like he might he might have to do
some prep work as well i think probably but it was funny because i became one of those really bitter
people online that people started sending me tweets like, you were robbed with a cactus.
And I was like, like, like, like, yes, I was.
And I was like, step away, step away from Twitter.
Do you have any fond memories of Taskmaster Paul that particularly stick out of your time on the show?
Fond memories.
Maybe that bastard's crying in it seems to be repeated to me a lot this was the uh snowman task you had to uh get uh ingredients and
build a snowman yeah um and uh yours was a particularly sad looking rabbit wasn't it you
got a rabbit and put it in some ice and gave it tears and said bastards crying in it which has gone down in the task the taskmaster hall of fame yeah i'm not quite sure
that i was actually trying to play that game quite seriously and i don't appreciate being
mocked this way and taken for a joke well i i think that was to your credit paul i think that's
what a lot of people really enjoyed about your performance on Taskmaster, because people still do quote your legendary task back.
And I think no one knows quite what angle you're coming at it from,
whether you're taking it seriously,
whether you're taking it the least seriously out of anyone ever,
because you keep such a poker face that no one knows what's going on in your head, Paul.
I took it very seriously, as I do with life.
You know, I went out there to win the series and i didn't win i won one episode well you won one episode which is you know
some people have never won an episode which which is uh which is very sad but yes you won one episode
um and when you won that episode it was a moment. I remember that being a huge moment that you'd finally won an episode.
Can you tell us how that felt?
You know, it was a long time coming when I finally won that episode.
And you could just see the look on the other contestants' faces
who never had any belief in me.
Where are they now?
Are they doing the Ed Gamblemaster podcast well no exactly you don't
remember who half of them are anyway i don't even know who i don't i don't keep in touch with these
people i'll be honest with you the only person i've kept in touch with is you and that's because
i have to talk to you now I actually don't think, Josh,
that in the history of Taskmaster
you are one of the most competitive people.
I actually think you're quite laid back
in the scheme of things.
Obviously, Series 1,
pretty competitive,
most competitive guy in the series, I'd say.
No, I'm not the most competitive man in the series.
Who are you thinking, Tim Key?
No.
I'm not going to name the person,
but I heard from the director that when I won the...
So you're aware that I got an extra point
because they did a trick on me,
which was to make me count the tin of beans.
Yes.
And then they gave me the extra point.
And apparently I won the series by one point,
and I won't say who it was,
but when the director was doing the edit,
they announced me as the winner by one point,
and they just heard,
the fucking beans point.
Now, I've got to say,
I would be that person saying that,
because the beans point,
especially, it was only six episodes,
you know, you won by one point, of course.
You should, like, I said the same thing.
Series 10, Richard Heron got given his own task.
He got, like, five points for it. that's that's unfair that's that's totally wrong i the reason
i think i deserved the beans point yeah is they made a decision the beans point i deserve the
beans point everyone deserved a chance at a beans point well no but wait wait this i think i'm
seeing this as an overall task right
is that it's more of a holistic task right so um which was they made a decision as to who would
take the beans thing the best right i.e who was the most placid person so in a way the task was
who is the most placid person gets an extra point
so you're saying the person who got angry about the beans point wouldn't have taken the beans
task well if it was given to them um it would be a two it would be impossible for me to comment Lazy one with no creativity in her bones at all.
Well, you say the lazy one, but you lent into the lazy thing so perfectly that it was, you know, it didn't feel lazy.
You actually put a lot into the effort of being lazy, which renders it not lazy, I think.
Well, yeah, I hope not.
lazy i think well yeah i hope not i mean i i kind of weighed things up and i thought there's no way that i'm gonna win this because i'm because i have like such a weird life sometimes i have like
really brilliant days but i'm very inconsistent so i knew i was gonna have one day where i just
went totally all wrong probably started crying and i think it was that one where there's loads
of stuff hanging on the ceiling and I didn't even notice it.
And then Alex went, can you name as many things
that were hanging from the ceiling as possible?
And I went, was there stuff hanging from the ceiling?
That sort of thing.
A bit like when Catherine did her, where's the frying pan panic?
We're not doing the frying pan, where is it?
I really empathise with that but you
didn't really panic in any of those situations you're just like oh well move on next one well
that's true but that's because it didn't really warrant it when I was a psychiatric nurse working
in a 24-hour walk-in emergency clinic the sort of emergencies that did warrant it and there was
nothing in taskmaster that was anywhere near as scary to be honest. Yeah see I don't have that level of life experience or
perspective where I could sort of draw on my experience as a psychiatric nurse and go well
this doesn't really matter does it for me things hanging from the ceiling that is the biggest panic
I've ever had in my life so. Well you see the thing was actually in in some ways to be a winner which of course you
were you did exactly the right thing you were very competitive you reminded me of my little
brother when he's about 11 uh who he would he would kind of do anything to stop me winning
um including sort of breaking like you know i used to play tennis a little bit where and and
playing tournaments and that he actually broke my tennis racket once so that he could win the game.
I'm not implying that you're like that, that you're violent,
but you are a good competitor.
And I think I'm not sure I would break your tennis racket.
I'd maybe hide your tennis racket.
Yeah, fair enough.
I think that's I think that's the level.
it. Yeah fair enough. I think that's the level. Do you have any favourite task memories from our season? Now obviously not noticing the things hanging from the ceiling is a painful task memory
but do you have any highlights? Well I quite enjoyed singing Jerusalem in the back of a car
to Alex which was a way of waiting for an egg to boil perfectly. And what was so satisfying
about it was it actually worked as well. And I think it was the perfect consistency.
I think you, yeah, I think you won that task, didn't you? It was the perfect jammy consistency.
And I have since tried that. I do sing Jerusalem when I'm boiling an egg now. So that's had a
long lasting effect on my life. Let's hope that's being repeated all over the country
when would you say would did we come closest to breaking up the friendship?
I think, well, maybe a couple of times.
So first time I can remember is when I and the team task,
when the thing fell off my head.
I've never seen someone look so disappointed in me.
Disappointed, angry, and like trying to hold it together because the camera's on us and you can't actually you can't actually just go what the fuck was that
but the thing is is that when you looked at me with utter disdain in that moment what what kind
of gets us through that is that i understand because i would be doing the exact same so i
think i think when two people are intensely competitive.
They also respect the behaviour of that other person.
When someone else fails them.
So then.
And then.
But I think true competition.
I think.
I think every show.
Like it's a mini competition.
To win that episode.
And as like.
As the show goes on.
And you know. You tally up each episode that you're winning because we won individually like we won quite a few episodes yeah by ourselves right
and i think i think it's it's just before it's just before the live task that's when it's like
yeah like yeah have a good one out there like the fun stops the fun stops
immediately completely stops because because like and i think maybe you and i really go into our own
heads like before the life task being like oh this is where i could either redeem myself or this is
where i have to defend my position and we would take it so seriously and and so I think that's when
the friendships could have I think if either of us had a complete uh sense of humor failure in
those moments can I can I tell you the moment that I think that we genuinely nearly not that
we genuinely nearly came to blows because I think it was you who was the angry one but i was enjoying you being angry a lot uh it was whenever broadly the situation was whenever
you were so proud of something you'd done and you couldn't wait for it to be shown on the
on the show uh and then when it didn't necessarily go down as well as you're expecting which i think
everyone feels but it was the serenades when we had to to do the self serenades and you were so proud of what you'd done,
I think we got the same amount of points
or I did better than you.
But either way, I think we got the same
because I was like, hey, we got the same.
We both did well.
We got the same.
And you were so angry that we got the same.
I was angry.
I was angry because I feel like i mean in retrospect i
shouldn't have been angry but i do feel like i composed an entire song played an instrument
you did some sort of genre kind of whatever your heavy metal business etc and uh i think you
you i mean i i would still say that I think, in my opinion, mine was, it didn't deserve to be equal.
So here's what I like about that sentence is you started it by saying, in retrospect, I shouldn't have been angry.
And then you went on to say that you still feel exactly the same way.
I mean, I can't lie there's no smeller sweeter as my little
chicka teeta i'm hoping that it's okay if i order a bouquet low lights definitely a golf course one
when i was doing that task i just i i knew it was going to cut together so badly i could
already imagine it being played on television you know did you ever have those sort of out of
body moments where you're like i can see this being played on television and people going why
are you so dumb yeah yeah most of them i think yeah that for me was a real and i was dreading
that task and also there were a whole lot of tasks that we filmed that they
didn't put to air yeah so i was hoping oh maybe they won't play that one like maybe the golf
because it was in the final episode so we'd gone nine episodes and i was like oh my god yeah that's
the worry that's the worry isn't it when you're there going either it's out the edit or it's such
a disaster that they've
saved it for the final episode and when that so how did you feel when alex announced that
as the final task of the series i thought oh now our hero's in trouble
but then i thought but maybe lee will have done something so stupid that yeah it's okay you're
just praying lee's trousers fall down or something yeah, or he pooed himself and they had to get it.
Which, I mean, in the context of this series,
wouldn't be that unbelievable, really.
No, no, exactly.
So I kind of thought, oh, maybe Lee, maybe he was just as stupid
and then he smashed it.
And I was watching and I was like, oh, that's how you do the task.
Oh, God, that's how you do the task.
And then when they went, now we're going to play Sarahah's i was like oh good lord okay and then i kind of thought oh this will be the sort of knife edge thing where i lose my
unassailable lead yeah i mean that you can always tell when they're showing back a task in the way
they've edited it quite how chaotic it is because they'll do a quick music change and that's what
they had to do for you and it's charlotte run and then it goes to fast music and you're like oh no they played the song
the title track dumb shit oh they're playing the dumb shit song okay dumb shit.mp4 yeah
oh god
90 both left 90, both, left.
Oh!
Jamali, turn, walk.
Both turn, walk.
But, you know, I had a great time.
The only thing that hurt my feelings a little bit was Greg's response to my clay masks.
Well, this came up, we obviously asked for emails on this podcast and people knew that
you were coming on the podcast and we did have quite a few emails asking about the clay masks
and whether you were all right after Greg made fun of your clay masks.
Well, I mean, I'm all right.
And he did apologise on camera and off.
But I haven't made any since.
Oh, no.
Well, you know, Greg's kind of got to live with that.
He crushed your spirit.
Well, I think he did a bit.
I mean, the thing is, I was making so many at the time of doing...
I mean, I was doing probably like one a day, you know.
That's a lot.
And then after that recording, I haven't...
I've got a lot of Daz clay sitting around still
and it's all remained unopened.
I'm not, you know, it's fine.
But there was a bit of genuine hurt there, I'm afraid.
Cause they are, some of them are quite good.
Some of them have artistic merit.
Look, I like the clay masks,
but that felt like a genuine moment of tension
in the studio because there was a moment
where Greg stopped making fun of you
and just started saying they were really good and then at the end richard was like holding them up because
he won the episode going it's really good so sweet what a lovely dear thing to do i really appreciated
that um and quite like somebody from the art department came up afterwards and said by the
way those clay masks some of them are really good really good. It was the pity that made it worse, actually,
because people sort of, you know,
reassuring me that some of them were quite good.
I don't need that.
I'm an artist and, you know.
Well, it turns out you did need some reassurance
because you've not made any sense.
I haven't, no.
But, I mean, it might be because I've moved on to acrylics.
Oh, OK, sure.
Task two, stage a realistic blooper from a home movie.
The taskmaster will give points to the best filmmakers.
You have one hour. Your time starts now.
Any memories of this?
There was a sharp inhalation of breath when I read out the task description because because i i think this might be the most embarrassing
thing in terms of how comedically pathetic what we did was well i i i've written a couple of notes
for this go go go one of my notes which i wasn't going to read out loud is this might be the most embarrassing task in Taskmaster history.
It is so... It is so...
It is so unfunny, what we did.
And I mean specifically you, Josh and Roshan.
I mean, that...
Sorry, yeah.
So it's Tim and Frank, and then me, Josh and Roshan.
And we have to do a blooper video,
like something you might see on You've Been Framed.
And for some reason,
Josh, Roshan and I decided to do a realistic blooper.
I mean, it was an insane decision.
The whole reason that those videos are funny
is because they happened by accident.
What isn't funny?
And whenever anybody gets a faintest sniff that something might have
been set up when they're watching it's not funny anymore so then what we do is by design make a
blooper video i mean i i it's so because you're right it is the most because it just shows
a lack of comedic such a lack of comedic understanding from the three of us
especially for
three
all three of you
then went on
to have your own sitcoms
in which you played the leads
this is not a good audition
for that
I hate it
I hate what you did
yeah
I hate it
it's really
there's no
I don't think there's a single
redeeming element to it at all,
apart from maybe we all arrived on time.
What I quite liked about yours,
and this is, you know,
I don't know if you remember this coming up.
So the setup is obviously,
it's like backstage behind the scenes in Taskmaster.
And where they see you,
where they catch you on the video
is that uh i think
you're doing a task where you have to count uh hundreds and thousands now this to me seems like
josh has suggested that for the video because he previously has had to count beans and rice and all
of that but he didn't know he was the only person who was doing that. So on the day, do you remember him suggesting that?
Yeah.
Oh,
well you can do,
we can do it with counting hundreds and thousands.
And then you and Roshan sort of going,
yeah,
all right,
mate.
I don't know.
That sounds like,
that sounds like a really shit task,
Josh.
But if you think that's something that might come up in taskmaster,
then yeah,
absolutely.
It's in,
it's in keeping with what the show's been doing
yeah all right Josh yeah put my own twist on it with the hundreds and thousands
it's a different food item
I've never talked to Josh and Roisin about we talked about a lot to do with Taskmaster
never spoken about that because I think
all of us it's a bit
of a and I know what you did last summer
moment for us do you know what I mean it's sort of best
left unspoken
quite a good thing for bonding with people I i think you you establish a real chemistry with
the people you're on uh like in in my series we all went out for afternoon tea we all met up
afterwards um great did you and your did you and your cast do anything after the show
so um so in the in the green room after we'd finished everything there was a lot of um i think
spirits were pretty high and um there was i think in one of the episodes something had maybe i'd i
can't remember what it was there was some task or maybe it was a prize that someone had to bring in but someone brought in um tickets for two to go to cologne yeah right
so in the green room when we'd finished it or in the bar we made a pact that we'd all go to cologne
and uh in my mind as you do in my mind when you make a pact to all go to cologne you go to cologne so then i'm
emailing and then i'm set and then i'm sending out um flights and then people are booking flights
and um it's it it sounds a bit churlish to say people are flaky when what they're not doing is
you know pulling out of going to dinner at the last minute. They're actually, in the end, not going to Cologne for 24 hours.
But I think then Roche got...
Genuinely, I think she got,
have I got news for you, which is quite a big deal.
Yeah.
Romesh, I can't remember what his thing was.
Greg, no, no, not so much.
Alex then.
Alex had something or other going on.
Oh, hang on.
What's that?
That's Alexa.
I think it's because I've...
I think you are asking for the song missing.
Is that right?
That's genuinely because I said Alex.
No, no, stand down.
Stand down.
Did you want the song missing?
Stand down.
Okay.
So... Coming Around Again is available with Amazon Music Unlimited,
which lets you play over 60 million songs.
Stand down.
Cancel any time.
Terms in the Alexa app.
Should I start your free trial and play Coming Around Again?
Yes.
No!
Okay. You can sign up any time now. play coming around again yes okay right you are so so anyway me me and Josh are
now on a train
in Bedford
somewhere
we're going to Luton
I don't know
and I remember Josh
we met at the platform
both coming out of London in different directions
so now we're at a platform getting on a train
to go to the airport, just me and Josh
and Frank's meeting us at the airport
and Josh observes
he said because we were supposed to have
seven of us going to Cologne
and it would have been a mad trip to Cologne
with all seven of us
and Josh said it's turned from seven of us going to Cologne
to me and you
taking a 55 year old to Germany. Let's ask you some questions from the Taskmaster public.
This is a good one. Question for Lee. Who would you choose to be on a team with?
Rob Brydon or David Mitchell? That's a good question. Who would I be on the team with?
Do they mean a Taskmaster team? I believe so, yeah.
Well, if it's a Taskmaster team,
I would say probably...
I sort of want the combination of the two.
I'd like the ideas of David,
but with these sort of slightly more manual hands of Rob.
But I say more manual hands of Rob.
That's in comparison to David.
It's all relative. They're both fairly soft to touch it's not the first thing I think of when I see Rob Brydon I don't think
manual hands no you when you watch those cruise adverts you don't go oh there he is working hard
again the irony of course he is working because he's getting paid yeah yeah uh I mean all I can
say is is there any possibility i'm a third option
i would i would genuinely hold out for a third option and i'd get yeah and i'd refuse to do the show until even now i'm getting annoyed about the concept so yeah i'm sorry i refuse to film
anything yeah so you get it sorted out someone else plays please yeah anybody else not somebody else literally anybody I would
say anyone from the planet apart from two people is my answer and we know those two people are
a question from Colin uh quite a simple one what time is it what time is it well okay Colin what
time is it the time where I am right now, there's a few times.
It's podcast time.
It's Ed Gamble time.
But also, well, that's what I thought.
But TikTok, hang on, is Colin o'clock.
I think you could make maybe half a million pounds a year
on the bespoke video messaging service cameo by just
getting people to send you their names and you say it's tiktok you o'clock and they'd pay upwards of
30 pounds for that per time fine so between that and the ain't yourself sponsorship then i'm
probably i'm pretty set on it that's pretty that's not bad is it look it's not the career
wasn't plan a it's it's plan anus and that's just what I've got to deal with now.
Hello James, my question is can we get a full rendition of Pants on a Stick on Spotify? That's
from Emerson. Well yeah, I mean you know, if you work, Emerson, if you work for a record label,
let's talk. We could drop Pants on a Stick. I'd love to have it on Spotify. Are there more verses and choruses
that we didn't hear on the show?
Do you think now you could give us a little longer rendition?
You know, like in the Fresh Prince theme tune
where there's a secret verse
that you can only hear on the pilot.
Is there more Pants on a Stick?
Pants on a stick, waving from side to side.
Pants on a stick, whose pants?
My pants, your pants?
No, no, they're my pants on a stick whose pants my pants your pants no no they're my pants on a stick
they're so clean i put them in my washing machine on pants setting and they came out and i dried
those pants i dried them on a stick and i weighed them around until they could fit on my dick
thank you james that was wonderful and also well done on resisting the
dick rhyme until right at the end so this is so obviously we had a lot of potato one so we've
narrowed it down to our favorite potato question sure this is rob from london he says uh my question
for joe has he uh been able to look at or eat a potato since his traumatizing disqualification
from the potato task? Also,
what would he have voted if it was the other way
round? I guess Rob's saying if it was one
of the other contestants, would you have
voted for them to get the points or not?
I would have voted for them to get the points.
Absolutely, yes. And that
differentiates me from
them
as a whole.
And yes, I would definitely,
because I'd be thinking about their feelings.
And has it affected your attitude towards potatoes since then?
I'd crinkle cut chips for tea.
I think that speaks volumes.
Answers the question, doesn't it?
I'd crinkle cut chips, chicken keg, peas,
and I had three of a box of
twelve Ferrero Roches. Lovely.
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