Tell Em Steve-Dave - #327: The Human Corn

Episode Date: March 7, 2017

Walt insinuates Bry's teflon coating may be scratched. Bry and Q go to Hollywood. Fat Newz.. Music: Ramskull - Hector

I'm like, am I going to have the nut tube to cover it on it? Yeah, all for the money. What is it that you're afraid is going to happen if you fail? Yeah, nobody cares about you, so you're not letting anyone down. Yeah. Oh, and you put it out. Tell them, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them, Steve Dave. Bob, that's the sound of the cherry on this new microphone that we had to buy since Ming Stoll or other ones.

There won't be any clicking. I don't think so. Unless Walt's microphone's clicking. That sounds pretty good to me. Walt's been giving me shits and I'm responsible for clicking and all sorts of other fantoms sounds. No, yeah, I'm responsible for clicking, but I mean, I would think. No, fuck it, you're responsible.

How do I work this? If you're handling the recording, yeah, I can. I would think. No fuck, you're responsible. How do I work this? If you're handling the recording, yeah. To be blunt. I wouldn't be responsible, would I? Yeah. OK, it probably wouldn't be cute. He didn't bring the equipment.

He didn't set it up. No, it wouldn't be. I mean, I'm normal equipment wasn't here. That was the problem. It would. Right, it falls on me. Yeah. You take it, and I love that, that you got those Right. It falls on me. Yeah.

You take it and I love that, that you got those big broad shoulders and you take it. I'll carry it. And you take responsibility and you, well, you man up to it and I love that about you, that, you know, that was always the case. Yeah, you know what? You know what? You know what changed me? Watching my mother refused to be wrong about anything.

And always trying to like, like no matter what, like that moment of like, right, how am I going to just put this little tiny wedge in here and then try to spread it as much as I can and let the fucking truth fall through, get lost. And I'll just be right. And isn't that really what matters, right mom? Right. Well, I'm on a scale of one to ten. I'm curious how important is it to be right?

And you're in your for you personally like I guess it depends on what we're talking about Just in general just in general on a on a general in general how important is it for you to be I like how you're beating me with this Is if most people like my love being wrong? So I guess like one% of the time I guess is, like who doesn't want to be right all the time? Of course, it's a 10. That thing's more important. You know, there are people out there who don't care,

if they're right, you know, they, they truly don't let it affect them, they carry on. Through lives that smiles on their faces. Yeah, they're just so beaten down. Yeah, so it's a 10 probably going to be wrong anyway. Now, I'll give it. I just got to be high though. It's going to probably be like an eight.

Yeah, I was going to say it's probably in the nine range. Yeah, the nine point. So almost touching 10. Right. To feel like you're normally right. I will give my I feel like well, it depends. Again, it depends on what, am I making life decisions for me?

And, no, that's where the 0.5% of being wrong. Somewhere accounts. I'm thinking. When it matters, folks, say loving. Yeah, that's what I'm like, fuck it. Yeah, other, I mean, look, I guess I'm wrong a lot on the show because people love to tell you when you get like something wrong about it. Hey, man, if you don't know about walls and next go, then don't talk about them. Yeah, well, I mean, you're-

Don't talk about anything. Well, you're in that strange, or that you're doing what a lot of people don't do though you're putting your opinions out there and if you are willing to put your opinions out there you're got to be you're going to have to you know accept that. Can I miss one ever world you live in where people aren't putting their opinions out there because that's all I see all the time. Yeah but you put them out there in a much more public from public consumption more so than the average man. Other than the average woman. Goes pussy tweet. You know, yeah, he'd be like somebody tweet something.

I mean, the average person tweets something. It gets seen a little bit, but you know, not, you know, you're doing it to a bit bigger based on your grade queue. I mean, not huge. Would you call me one of New Jersey's bravest? You definitely have a water. Didn't you feel though, I mean, cute. You could be honest.

Didn't you feel early on though that like he could say no wrong? He could, he could say anything and he wouldn't there'd be no blowback. I mean, the most heinous stuff. How the most, not the most like innocent things, you just see like, you know, rambling of like how, how, you know, just to take them down, it feels like. Where it is, where do you see that stuff? I haven't noticed it.

I get to get to the internet. Oh, he knows too, yeah. Oh, yeah, I mean, I got, I got, maybe people just sick of his shit. Maybe it just took it long to just build up. Yeah, it's over. Overload, you get you too. But no, I mean I got maybe people just sick of his shit. Maybe it took us long to just build up It's over overload you to but no, I don't believe so now the veneer has been scraped away We see for what you are just a metal frying pan with no teflon See you maybe just a different

A different listener that was maybe not in around round or not listening early on. I felt early on like, yeah, he was like, I was a golden boy. Oh my God. I mean, like they were, they were just like, nothing could be said and they didn't, and then people weren't clapping and going, you know, bravo, bravo,

but you see, you know, like more, more, more, now it's like, no more, no more, no more, no more. No more. Well, you know what? It's always political stuff. That's what people don't like. Not now. No more no more no more. No more. Well, you know why it's always political stuff. That's what people don't know. Not always. No, no. No, no, oh my god.

They're like, I don't know why we talk about political stuff. Any number of more. Oh, it could be your personal decisions and your just your personal actions now. Some people have made that I hit my own car with a bad. Just like, how does that get somebody upset? I don't get it. I think year one you could have hit your car and people bad. Just like, how does that get somebody upset? I don't get it. I think a year one, you could have hit your car

and people would have been doubled over. Right, they would have. Well done. Now, I don't know if it's a different listener or they've just grown tired of. Well, I find that the influx we had of IJ fans that came in are really very accepting. Like they don't really give a shit, I'm proud to say.

So you're saying it's not the influx? I don't think it's newer ants because they seem to be cool. Some of the old time people, I think resent the new time people and it's creating like a little bad blood and then that's just giving that's just putting bad blood in the world. Dude, I just had a whole trial. I'm still getting shit about the kissing double. I was wondering, you know, Q, we were talking, we went to LA. Oh yeah.

We went to Hollywood, man. We went out to. Oh, yeah, we went to Hollywood man We went out to talk or Hollywood in in in a way. Yes, I mean a big time to cue you did big time me We went to the rainbow room. What's that? It's a rainbow bar and grill or not the rainbow for People who would no no gross No, gross The exact opposite the rainbow bar and grill was in the heart of Hair metal metal like Lemmy hung out there. That was on hair metal. No, no, no But it was all types of music that was Lemmy's place you could find them there. There's giant statues of them now They've actually made statues and the name one of the bars after them. Okay

It's like so you went to the rainbow rainbow. It's where metal is lived. Lived, but not anymore. Lived. It's right next to the Roxy theater. It's right near the whiskey. It's right near the micro. What did crew have played there? Oh, for sure. That picture's on the wall.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there are pictures where like, there's what I like hanging. Like I really, really like hanging with you because there's very few people in your life that you can create an entire backstory from one picture of a band like this band called Straight Jacket and I had never heard of them and he had never heard of them. I never heard of them. You've never heard of them.

Here would they have been at their height. It looked like he's 80. Yeah, it looked like maybe 85 to 90 somewhere in there, but It's that you know, it's straight jacket coming in as a band Wondering why their picture was taken off the wall asking to talk to the manager. It was it's just so much fun You know what so much fun just sitting there bullshitting. Oh, wow just bullshitting hours Yeah, no, no mics or no reason just just to do it the conversation goes everywhere It's like a old school is like fun, man. Yeah, it was really fun. I started demanding that my picture be on the wall It was not received well. Yeah, well, there was the waitress there

For it we went in and we hung out we had some drinks and stuff I didn't left. Demand, my picture to be on the wall, just for everybody who's like, Go hook a newbie to an asshole! Sadly, we have to explain these things these days, Walter. Yeah, back in the day. They would have been like, oh, well done! But so we get some drinks and shit and then we leave and then we come back. And during that time she, somebody was like, Oh, those guys are one guys on the show, the other guys on that show. And when she saw us come back in, she's like, Oh, hey, hey.

And she was like, Oh, our bartender makes the greatest, what was it? Martini's or Margaret, Margaret. And as we're walking back to the bar she's like at your show my brother's real into comics so you I know you he's like I don't know him though and I was like oh yeah yeah we get to the fucking bar right and as the bartender is making the drink she turns to me she goes you know these aren't free right just? Oh, yeah. That's weird. Just a split second I was like, she's kidded her out, but I can see in her face. She's like, but it's a really great drink.

It seemed like she had more pull than to tell, like, I mean, what a what heart salesmanship? That's a heart cell. Yeah, as far as the fact that we were just sitting at a table with our friends to have dinner and order drinks like why pull us to the bar specifically to get drinks. Yeah, just to show you off. I don't know the bartender seems to not give a fuck or no. Right.

Your show pony. Yeah, she's like great. Look, I pitch my wagon to this fucking fat nag. Idiot Yeah, we had meetings and we fucking partied We did a lot of partying I watch in a party Blair Witch and Blair Witch the Oscars CG Origins of Evil Yeah, we watched a lot of shitty horror movies

We went to see Steel Panther which is a like throwback hair metal band that like plays in that style they do covers and they stay in character the whole time. They bring up like 10 chicks on stage having some making out. It's awesome. They did something though that even I was like, oh you just you just stop saying it. Yeah, they're trying to get them the flesh. you just stop saying it. Yeah, that's the way they're trying to get them the flesh. Now, having lived in the 80s and gone to concerts where it's like titties are everywhere, versus today where you would be like,

oh well, it's Hollywood and kids are out and fucking like anything goes, but anything does not go. They seem very conscious. Well, they have, I've ever had cell phones, you know, nobody wants to give you an act in like, on professional, you know, and... I always try. Nobody would point their camera out. But yeah.

There's ramifications now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like everyone has learned that like, you can't just go up there and flash your tits and then be like, hey, I want to be a teacher like four years later. I think there's something wrong with that, but I think those make the best teachers. Yeah.

Oh, life experience, can't get going. Right. Can't get all books. But yeah, these girls were like, hey, no. And I just wanted the guy to stop saying it because it was so obviously not happening. And I stood in the corner and watched people and uh, you're having a good time. I was a rock and a blast.

You was rocking out. I can do it. We were there with Adam Green, a friend of mine, film director to the hatchet movies. Oh yeah. Yeah. A lot of fun. It sounds like it was a good time. You should have went.

They were asked the one we went to the meeting. They asked about you. They did ask you. Yeah, we took up. Somebody a power meeting. We took my name was brought up in a power meeting. You should have went. They were asked the one we went to the meeting. They asked about you. They did ask. Yeah. Yeah. We took a power meeting. We took my name was brought up in a power meeting. Oh, yeah. Was it the first thing brought up? Yeah. They're like, wait, where's the hall? How far far into the meeting did it go before? Well, it was an hour long meeting at a huge agency, and it was all about telling Steve Dave. So it came pretty quick. Wait a minute. Oh yeah man. So I mean if I don't I'm part of Tom's team there and even though there was a meeting about Tom's Steve Dave

Which of the conference you would? I guess we should have conference. What? Well, this is your unceremonious ejection. So I feel like it's your full people. So you guys had a power meeting about Tom's Steve Dave.. Yeah power meeting about it Didn't feel the need to mention your to mention it to me. Well, you know you would know what if I told you what we talked about okay So what was what was on the all the animation stuff? Oh, okay, that's I'm saying like the stuff we talked about Not the clay animation. No, they asked about clay animation and I said well, I

You guys are the guys you're the clay guys Different animation different as I've been seen yet right exactly right special secret animation that's going to Right, it's gonna turn your notice from clay to regular animation Hopefully Well, what happens is like you work with people who are Well, what happens is like you work with people who are Easy to work with and and do their job and you want to carry them with them into a bigger project bring them into power meetings That's what we're trying to do trying to reward the people who have done good work for us. Okay. All right, so how did it go then? What was it was it?

So did you sign any papers? We have a little homework to do Vector management who is my manager in company is going to be cutting a check for me. Cutting a check for you, yes. I'm going to be cutting. First thing he said, check what we walked in. What's he get, what you're saying? I'm sorry, cut. You're going to be cutting a what? Like a sizzle reel as they call it in the business. Waltz. A sizzle reel.

Yes. It'll be your second. Your second, yeah. So really? So we have to make one then. Yeah, but a lot of the materials already there. Due to the project we haven't announced yet. I like your response to that.

The other guy's like, you know, you got to make a sizzle reel. He just looks out and says, like, well, who's going to do that? That's a cute thing. That's exactly me. That's exactly me. Yeah, so boy Dex is gonna be on that. Why? Yeah, we got some heat.

We got, so I went in with the attitude of like, who wants to expand the podcast and the agents were like, no, like, it's a thing now, like where they're trying to find the right way to exploit podcasts and to something else. We don't have to move out to the West Coast doing. We do not. Okay.

They are safe for now. Yeah, I don't know about that. We all live and work here. So we'll see, we're on it. Could you see Walt has an LA guy, how would Walt handle LA? Let's say he lives in, he'd be a valley guy.

Burbank. You, okay, you live in Burbank. I could see you live in Burbank. I mean, Walt could pull it off anywhere. Yeah, you know what I'm,. I can see you live in a burbank. I can pull it off anywhere. Yeah, I want to. There's a warmer out there. Sure, you be away from the devil. Malibu.

That's okay, I suck. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Wow. Originally, I was going to ask you, because we touched on it when we were there. Somebody was talking about, like when I have two cats.

Now when I went to get the cats, I filled out paperwork and I gave them money and I walked away with a cat. Who is that? The adoption agency, the ASPCA. And no point was I like, swing on my dick being like, I rescued this cat.

Now, cute like literally rescue the cat. Yeah, off of the, the, the, the BQ. So do you take issue with people who are like, this is a rescue? I rescued this. This is how I think, you know, maybe they did rescue. Maybe that cat would have put down a fan and got him. I think anybody who's taking care of an animal rescued that animal, even if they boarded out of a pet store, they rescued that animal. How does it sound

self-serving at all? I'm serious. Even if that dog is five grand. We have that dog here, it was a five grand dog. I rescued that puppy and he probably would have been put down. Right, it was his last day. They had like on, in his cage, there was a calendar with X's. But like if I want to say, I record him, like, are you really gonna take Umbridge with that? Are you really gonna give me a hard time? Yeah, a little bit. Why? Because to rescue something,

by definition, means to save from peril or a situation that's, yeah, like, yeah, get him to warver rescue. Yeah, but you know what, though, dude, he's why I don't want to argue with the rescue term because if it makes people feel good and it gets more people out there adopting cats, then I'm fine with the verbiage that gets these cats and dogs, nice homes. Okay, it makes them feel good. if you feel you feel good about yourself isn't that what life is all about just like you know you know

Brian how you feel good about you yeah exactly it well no trying to achieve it I mean no life so about trying to achieve it trying to achieve it I mean I'm not saying you're you're working towards working towards so many people take for granted and if the if you feel if you feel better about yourself by saying you rescued it, rather than you purchased it at a store, I mean, I don't see any harm with that. I got to say American Express points for it. Can he use my black card to rescue this $5,000. Your bread dog looks so upset.

But the boutique to it's not even not even like a like a mall pet store. Like you got your ship bar cabin, you got a walk-in. But who knows where he may have wound up? Sure. He may have wound up where like you know, maybe fight another dog. And that's some sort of like you know, dog fighting ring. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if people pay $5, a bait dog that seems I mean maybe if you're real

he's tough is he yeah I mean yeah he I mean the only thing that gives him problems are stairs but otherwise he's you do you rescue him for exercise I'll give you that much he's put on about 40 pounds since I bought oh my god how big I do that? That is a small dog! He's a small dog? I mean, get him you see him, right? And he's just a bowling ball. You're talking about your dog and not kiddo. I'm just...

Get some views here. What are we gonna do, man? About you. You gotta get in shape. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you don't feel bad, good? I'm not saying this to make them feel bad. Right. No, you know what?

According to these guys, they're saying, fuck it. Don't worry about what other people's definitions of you are. All you have to say is like, what, you're, you're unthin. Yeah, I'm unthin. I'm definitely, I want to join your group, F-A-T. Okay, you're in. Oh, I got fat news, too. Yeah.

And in fact, I've ever propose the best date for the upcoming day without a fat person I think through the 14th of this month because it's 3-14. It's a pie day. That's fucking birthday, bro I fell out of my burger kiddo I'm taking my day from me. Yeah, but it'll be also... You'll appreciate it, man. You're birthday, and I'm not going to be around. Neither is Gidham, because they're too fat for you. Fucking Hollywood.

My dog's not going to show up either. Yeah, me, Gidham, and Walt's dog are going to fucking... It won't be marching around outside. Yeah. Yeah, not so much March, just sitting alone, chair. Yeah, if we march half of block it off for you Drink and water out of poles on the sidewalk I know but you know what get him also has like you're talking to him about his

His physical his carriage You know that his health right now, right? I'm not making fun. I gotta be clear I'm not making fun of him. I also just concerned he's there is definitely something mentally I don't say mentally he's too strong a word but he has mental some sort of I don't know what the proper word is I don't want to use it I don't want to use a horse not autism no no I think he he's afraid of success. No, he is. He doesn't want to achieve. I love the job, fuck you. You're really good at He's terrified of bettering himself. I have offered him a multitude of plans, of plans to change his life and to become something

more than he is. Can you give an example of one of these plans? I have a business plans that I offer him, that I think I'm not like he thinks I'm falling around. Is it like Ralph Kramden type shit? What happens is his binding guy is going out of business so he wants to be to start taking up binding. Hold on, no, you're jumping way ahead of the game.

Okay. First year in apprentice binder to one. No, I told him like he has a truck. He should open, he should do what's in vote right now, is open up a business, cleaning, clearing out houses, and then you get to keep all that stuff that you clear out and go and sift through it before you take it to the dump and then sell it. And we call it get them out. I told them that we would call this business.

And the way he's got to do is, and he can market that. He can market that and do a commercial on Tom Steve Dave. So get him out t-shirts that he would wear, his crew would wear. I tell you what, I would even do a commercial for him. Like a television, like a local access commercial. I do one for him. Right. By him, do you mean them because you know there's a silent

partner in this business. One without a truck. And willing this to clear shit out of other people's houses. But I also know why. I do know why he's opposed to this idea. He's why he has no interest in it because I brought in the my house to move some stuff and I wound up moving most of it myself

because he's so fucking out of shape and so lazy. That makes it rough. That makes it tough if that's gonna be your business, right? And your business partner. Every time I'm just, right. He's on the hard cell. But I thought he could bring, like I would be able to look through the truck

and sift through the garbage that he left got out of the house. I'd be like, okay, we could sell this, we could sell this, we could sell that. The rest goes to the dump. the dump then we spend then we're done with the dump going with some honey back Yeah, they go listen on even but hey man. I put up all the cash I'm gonna put up all the cash to buy it, but you have no interest in it And then I also like he said I'm doing alone you can go to like home depot and pick up one of the workers that are always hanging out Out there that's exactly yeah, that's exactly what was it so PC one of the workers that are always hanging out out there. That's exactly what was successful.

So PC, one of the workers. Why don't you say what you mean? Yeah, let it go. Why don't you say it? Why, they're saying it. Why is that it? Like, why? That's why America's so great, people.

That's why people are coming across that border. Right. Because they're looking for more. Because they can go to here now so they can go to home depot. Right? Or they can go to another. I'll make a better life for them. Exactly. I just can go to here and they can go to home depot. Right? Or they can go to bed or life. Exactly.

I just want Quinn to say it. To say what? You know what? I don't know what you want. Why? Don't walk. Because they're Mexican? Ah ha!

Mexican? That's not even what I was thinking. When is that true? Let me tell you something. If Gidham worked half as hard as oh my god He does guys that hang out at the store He's he'd be the next Kevin Smith Well, I asked myself without the talent

How badly do you want to be to be able to have your own business and to be financially? like financially just Responsible in your own, like you made it your way. Just not embarrassed. Wait, now are you talking to me or give him? I said I'd like fuck you money. No, no, don't know, but what a fuck you, Joey Fatone.

Where do you fuck you money? You don't even have to work for fuck you money. I don't even have to work for fuck you money. I don't even have to work for fuck you money. I don't even have to work for fuck you money. I don't even have to work for fuck you money. Yeah that it? Is that it? Is that it? Is that it? Yeah, the guy who's just looking out for him at every angle, he doesn't care.

You can send him up with Gidemount and now he's like, you got to see him up in a fuck you money, he's like, fuck you in your comic book store. Yeah, in essence, yeah, he sticks his middle finger up me daily. Oh. He does. He does. Maybe not literally, but definitely No, he's not looking every turn. Yeah, but he's not looking and then I And then what he's not going to like well my LL my I I need my care is my left arm

Right and Mike's on TV. He doesn't just a bun you know my foot. I'd like you know I can get him out of the store for four or five days a week Human corn You know, I can get him out of the store for four or five days a week. I'm just one weekend's human corn. But then also what I've been into lately is I've been binding books. Have you ever heard of this, Q? Binding comic books. You know, I have. I know a body of mine is really into it.

It is like a new obsession of mine. Taking series and runs of books that have never been collected in hard covers Yeah, and making them into a hard cover and I've and I've become addicted to this almost and but my guy my My supplier he's That's a cat don't worry about it. Okay. I now just travel cats He's leaving the country to believe rescued him. I believe. Yeah. Just rescued it while he was. As well. My supplier is leaving the country. He's shutting down his binding business. And I said, there's a vacuum. Right. I said, get him. You know how to sew. Do we have? We have access to actually aren't you, you've

tout, you said you're like, you're quite the theme stress, right? Seems. I don't think I could have my own foreign. I have some selling prowess. Again, I said, I would invest if you want to start your own bookbindery company. And again, no interest. I have heard a lot of, you you know Colin Bunn, the writer. Yeah.

He gets all his books behind it. He is a guy if you need a guy. I'm gonna be needing a guy. He's, he's, he obsessively binds his com. Hope it's not the same guy that we were using, that's leaving the country. I know Ming has a foot binding business. It's a healthy black market trade.

Speaking of Ming, he, Walt's actually suggested to Mike and Ming that they start this binding well i thought we all could go on because since they do apparently a comics podcast that they would have this built-in uh... customer base you're saying it with a mocking tone of your voice and it's christomy off because is this listen to the queue your business man that's why these two foxes in the fucking

and squallor laughing giggling and laughing without rubbing two times again but to both of them You're a businessman. That's why these two fucks sit in the fucking and squall are both evil. Giggling and laughing will not rub in two times together, but to both of them. Listen to this, my idea. I agree. I agree. You gotta try something.

Mike and Ming have the nut to come in on this. Yeah, all of the faces. To go in on this, to go in on this business plan. Right. We start a comic book binding company between us, right? Right. What do we have access to? A comic book store worth customers who buy comic books.

We push it to the clientele coming in here. Mike and Ming have a comic book podcast where they could pimp the business continuously. Right. Ming has the Photoshop technique and talents to design the perfect website and the book that designed the dust jackets and all the bells and whistles that you need to have to start this business. We have everything in place

except the the moxie and the and the will and the drive which is everything. If you don't have any of those. So we've got nothing. You're right. You just said it. We got nothing. And you will continue to have nothing. As long as you sit there sitting next to Brian Johnson laughing, like, oh, this is great. I have shit and I will always be shit. Yeah. Of course. Welcome. It's astonishing. It's astonishing that like that deep, they think it's funny and they don't want it.

I mean, Mike, Mike. I don't even have the fucking offer. You don't offer anything to the business though. All right. So I'll fuck you then. I won't say it. Do you know how much? Let me make glue out of your bones.

Why am I like an asshole for not jumping in on the business when you're like, you're pretty much useless. Because I knew you just laughed and stopped at it. No way, I would do a commercial. I would do as much as kill. Do you know how much easier my life would be walled if I wasn't constantly trying to branch out and find new areas for me to go into?

Like I could just do the TV show and just fucking relax. But you're driven. You gotta have drive, man. You gotta make hay while the sun shines. If you don't have drive, you're just sitting in park and not even in neutral. Just parked in a fucking... Trailer parking. You're gonna fall down here. You're gonna fall down here. Uh, tall boys.

That'd be sweet. That'd be sweet. Why don't you go in on it? I mean... Yeah, just be stop fucking laughing. Yeah, I just tell us really, why are you afraid of success? I have a solid reason that this job was not offered to me at all.

Or it just came to my attention. But you, yeah, like, if you can sell and you can haul garbage, then why have you turned out to legit business opportunities? I know nothing about binding. Other than the fact I can sell, but I'm not even sure how you sew books together, so. So, oh, you, you learn. You're a smart guy. So you so books together, so... So, oh you, but you learn.

You're a smart guy. So you've told us, right? Over and over again, every day at the store, you can continuously remind us of how smart you are. With that banner. Always. And you know, now... With the bar.

Listen, I don't know if you have a coastline. Now you have your life in the together, because he continuously tells us how much smarter he is than you for some reason. He loves to fuck that out. The more I get that true dummy. Can you imagine that? Yes, I'm smarter than.

You know that other jerk off who they won't even ask to join their book-finding group? No kidding, right? How often does he make a point for an absolutely for no reason whatsoever to mention that he's smarter than Brian Johnson? Oh, Johnson! He won't even use your first name. He'll use your last name. Really? Like with D'Arijian? Yes. Yes! It's weird. It's bizarre daily

Yeah, there's some sort of competition. I don't even know about that me either Like do you know how many times in a day? I'm like, hey, I'm smarter than getting me know this Has it ever come up ever? Not on multiple times today The I learned how to shoehorn day. Oh, he does It doesn't even shoehorn doesn't shoehorn it in gracefully. It's always awkwardly Yeah, you're like people who don't even know who he's who Johnson even is. Yeah, somebody's like oh man my elbow's March Okay, you know, you know that smart

At least that is smart as me. Johnson. Johnson, huh? Is that, don't worry about, don't worry about it. But can you do nothing? Can you just tell us why you don't want to like try to become just like your own man? Wouldn't that be awesome?

I would think it would be just very, especially got people who want you to speed in your, people in your camp. I think like most people are afraid of failure. Well, you've mastered that. So don't be afraid. You're afraid of success. I don't want to fail at being a failure. You have to fail. You know, not everything's a fucking success. Yeah, sometimes you got a claymation movie on your fucking on your resume. You don't not everything's a fucking success. Yeah, sometimes you got a climatian movie on your fucking on your resume. You don't say like not everything says, you have to, you have to try to fail. You'll get to something eventually.

I'm just afraid of flying too close to the sun and having my wings about to fall and enter the city. But let's talk. I can't even imagine how strong those wings would have to. And anywhere near the fuck on the stage. Yeah, he's trying to be funny instead of like we're trying to like you open up for once and let listeners into the real you Which I don't think they've ever really seen what is more real afraid of failure. I mean, that's a pretty Why though like what what what what is it that you're afraid is gonna happen if you fail?

Yeah, nobody cares about you. So you're not letting anyone down I mean what is there to be afraid of though? Failing and you know what will happen if you fail? What do you think is going to happen? Who's going to be upset? It's a fear of failure in the unknown. I don't know who's... But you have to love failure, dude. That's how you grow, that's how you learn.

Yeah, Brisa. Look at my times. I mean, you see people who fail a lot and still, but through those failures, they learn, no. You see it firsthand. I mean, I've been told Steve Dave, how many things have we fucking fucked up, but then we've used it to our benefit and turned it around and made it either something we've made something out of lemons constantly. I'm not one of them. I was just eight.

But we've taken lemons and turned it into something at least digestible. Yes, some sort of sour like prison toilet bowl. You could chew it down if you really tried. What's that called? What's that Wayne called? Jankum prune. Was it Jankum? Jankum. I'm trying to doankoom? Jankoom.

I'm just a leader and shook up. I mean, I don't... It's almost like you're his dad. You're like looking at your son. I feel like that time's like... I feel that time's like... And again, just almost like a father. I feel unappreciated too at times

because I feel I have kind of taken an interest in them and at times I'm like why why he doesn't seem to care or appreciate it and I get annoyed by it. Turn him over your knees. Do you think you're all- Do you think it has something to do with the fact that you don't have a son? Oh my god now we're getting real. Right like that just occurred to me like fuck the shit

You know like I can talk to him about stuff. I don't I can't talk to my girls about right I kind of talk to him about sports, but I get frustrated because it isn't no shit right Music like I feel like I'm like yeah, I talk like what like this song is on I'd never heard it before and then I just find myself just zoning out because he's almost you know It's the conversations just don't and that's all the story about my missing watch yeah but kids are often disappointing you know but I mean not my gals though I mean I never been disappointed by them but I guess they're because they're flesh and blood and this is just something I've lumpy lumpy

wow could it be I think I'm I be man that I'm just son you never wanted Charged it you think it's just my fatherly nature I Think it is because I've never really seen you take this this level of interest in care and someone can you say I? Want honest opinions right now honest answers and then I'm thinking I don't think of it. I don't think you'll care If not for me, right in my interest in him Do you think he'd be here like after we met him that couple times early on in the podcast? No, I know for a fact. He would have fell by the wayside and you would never would have ever spoken to him. Never would have

well. I was so angry at him. I'm feeling tested. I know about you. Pretty close. I mean, I mean, I agreed up my blood. So I mean, there's something early on was there, I guess. Yeah, I think there was this, well, look, he obviously needs help, you know. So I think that that fact is into it and then just some fatherly instinct kicked in. How come I don't, but like, I think, I'm telling you right now, if I don't get some sort of, like,

some sort of, like, feedback or some sort of like was it progress or acknowledgement of all I all the how you know how you're supposed to treat a father you know treat a father the way you treat me. What did he get your father's to shit. Oh my god. What's the father's day yet? Father for one. I haven't had a very nice Christmas present for this year set up already. He did have you something nice for Christmas. Yeah up already. He did get to be something nice for Christmas.

Yeah. I'm coming to next Christmas. It was a nice sweatshirt. Yeah, I'm going next Christmas. Oh, you're already playing up for next Christmas, huh? I already got the gift. What about Father's Day? I have something I'd offer Father's Day.

It's on my computer screen right now. Oh boy. You got to throw a barbecue for him. Just you and I have a catch. We're in a couple stats. What would you want to talk to him about? All sports are just hockey. No, all sports, you know, I mean, he's, but you know what?

And I don't mean to be like, like a, like a good father though. I'm not just going to say the bad things because like I'm proud of him though when he does come at me with some knowledge that I'm like I'm surprised it looks like he actually Did a little bit of homework to talk about it to me. Yeah Yeah, like why do you have an example? You like sports like you know like it sounds to me like he he did a little bit of homework But you know before the Super Bowl so he least could talk to me about Right did you did you do some research? I listen to some sports stuff. Well, no kiddo

Does that make you feel good when Walt? Says something nice like that. I'll let you know what it happens. He just Is this the way that you talk to this is what you talk to your father? Q. No, I'm not gonna ask you, bro. No, no, you got to respect the old man No, if I was doing the podcast my father yes, that's how I would talk to him so oh you're your real father. Yeah Wait you disrespect your father. No, no, I just, I joke around with him. Right. We shouldn't disrespect your father. I think he killed a guy at a puttery can they parade or something?

It was accused of it. But it did rescue a guy out of a burning building after he set his own house on fire. He ain't got hit in that leg with a hammer in the process. So this is what he talks about instead of? Oh, that's so light. So what do you tell people about your, what your comic book, your, your work father though? Like how would father I, I, I, when I turn on an I'm, I stepped your following in. You know, do you ever tell them about the time I saved that lady on a trail and in a foreign land?

I brought it all fucked up. Yeah. You know, and a foreign land. I brought it up. You know, the only way we're talking about it. You should tell me, but say you watch at your convoc man, that cool guy, that's what he gave me my job. That's my bad. That's my real dad.

That's your my work dad. But that's what I'm saying. That being tall guy, yeah, I'm smarter than him. All you're going to say, you don't want, get him. You don't, like when Walt said something nice, like he just said that that doesn't do anything for you, you're not like, it does. So why don't you strive to earn that more, do you think?

I do think I try to. I don't think he, I don't think you can help with two things. I like to try to try. But sometimes I guess like what I try is not something that he's used to giving a compliment. Like I try to make a really great looking eBay listing and you know, I remember one day. That's what he said. Look, have you checked out this listing? No, come on man.

I'm on day. Why am I laughing? Because then I could point to you five listings where I'm like, why did you do this? Why did you put this in there and why didn't you why did you omit this? So like it's I can give you a solid example one day we were selling this So you're saying five unless even so you're saying 20% of the time. It's a home run with him 80% no that's not an out. No'm not even five. So you're saying 20% of the time it's a home run with him. 80%. No, that's not an out.

No, that's that's too harsh. No, I have our sports talk for free. I have a song example. We're listing this, this tin wind up a Dracula. Yeah. And I did a nice listening to Goliath's great pictures. I found out. I don't even know about this.

This is the first time hearing about this. Okay. And I said, I said, what, what do you think? He goes, that looks good. I was like, thank you. It's like, no, it's about the picture. I mean, how the thing looks, not the actual listing that I did. He's talking about the picture. Well, you took the picture, didn't you? No, you were talking about how the thing itself looked, like the wind up a Dracula, how like it was painted and everything. And there's some disparity between whether he's talking about the listing

or the actual item. You're saying yeah, and what were you saying? I don't even remember it was so insignificant. Yeah, I think I just feel though that You shouldn't be afraid to fail. You should you should you have people who are rooting for you and are trying to help you and you have to at some point, you gotta take a shot at it. You gotta get up to play and take a couple swings, no matter if you strike out. Yeah, I can tell there's only one set of tracks in the sand, right?

Even though they're backhoe tracks, that's how Walt was carrying you. But, still, he was carrying it. Would you buy into a bookbinding? Would you want to be a part of it? Is this seemstrist? This fucking reluctant? This is your guy? Well, I think though that like...

What do you like to join a thriving concern? Q's brews, Q's binding. Q's brews we could do. We could pull a trigger anytime. Ask Clown Brewery wants to make it. I mean, it's one of those things though. It's like, you know, is it crossing that line? What do you mean?

Is it like, is that line crossed then, or are we in a different? Now we're a fucking Meister Browse. Yeah, is it watering down the brand? No, I don't know. I mean, I'm not saying it is, but I mean, yeah, you have to make that. You got to put it to a vote, I guess, not between us.

Yeah. Well, I guess the first question is, is he was sell out? I'll tell you, I was sell out. That's how I wish I could sell out. Are you selling out? Yeah, I think that I have. What can you point to as a sign that you sold out? Yeah, I think that I have. What can you point to as a sign

that you sold out? Well, like I will do. You wouldn't say Mexican before, what the fuck? No, that's not selling out. No, that's not selling out. We, like I've done things that I don't really want to do for the money. Like, you know, with those guys that hang out by Home Depot, you said a price, I paid that price. I don't want to hear people shitting out. In California, let's see. You've done commercials for things and stuff like that that I've been like. Who's like check cereal?

No, through. Yeah. All right, but what about Tom Sevedave? Have we sold out yet? I don't think we sold out now. the knowing the shit that we don't make. You know what I mean? Like we could we I still think we hold true to our thing of like we're only going to make Merch if it's good something we would like and if it makes sense we haven't really gone crazy making shit. I think I agree. So like the TSD, Koozy would be like the tip of the ride. But what about the TSD skull cap?

Did you make it? We never brought it up, but it was for sale right now, and I've gotten a few emails about how they were not, they were not complimentary. They don't like them. They thought we were, we thought it was a sellout. I'm not using those words, but the certain part of the fanbase was not happy. Well, I would tell you why. Can I argue for on our behalf? They're up on merch table right now. I got to tell you, this puts me undies in a twist.

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Just use mianDis.com slash T-E-S-D, and you're going to get 20% off. And if you don't like them, pay for them. Revamp your underwear, Dory, deserve it. Really? A nice pair of underwear is gonna make it feel good. They got five packs, they got all kinds of shit. You know? Get them down.

Get them down. You're spending the night with a lady. You strip down, you don't want her to see some fucking yellow, tidy, whiteies and shit. You keep that up. She sees that pair of meandies. I got off you those nice, that nice blue pair. Oh yeah.

You should ask first. I had no wonder we're for the rest of the day. She got them all clean. Yeah, so meandies.com slash. Drive safe. She eats SD. Just check out the time I got to leave. Okay.

And what were you guys saying? About selling out? I'm sorry. The, well, he, I'm going to defend this on the beanies before, before I got to pull the recording go. Tonight's my retirement dinner for the FDNY. So I can't, I don't want to be late for that. Thank you, Mr. Service. Thank you, buddy. Because people asked us to make those beanies. We didn't, we weren't just like, let's just make them and sell them. People asked us, and we were like, I don't know if people are going to like them.

So let's put them unannounced on the website. We didn't even fucking beat the drum and say, we responded to what people asked. We did it. If people like it, they like it. If they don't, they don't. I agree with you. I felt not trom mentioning was the it was a way to be like It's there if you if you want it if you're there looking at other stuff and you see it people get weird They get very weird about that kind of stuff Whereas personally if I saw something and I was like, oh, that's weird that they made that or It's not something I want it like and I get angry at everything it would just end there. I wouldn't think any anymore about it

But like a beanie, you don't have to buy it, so it gives a fuck. Well, you know what I do like about the answers, they take this show very personally, they have ownership over the show, you know what I mean? They feel part of it, community. So I don't mind if they're a long-winded way

of saying entitled. No, not at all, not at all. They, I think that they, you know, are keeping eye on it. They're invested. They're invested. And they're like, well, this isn't what you guys. This isn't like, look, content on the show. You know, I'm just like, go fuck yourself. We're going to do what we want. But, but that's all we can provide. But to make things outside of it that they're like, eh, that I would listen to. I would listen to that and take that in consideration.

A beanie, though. To me, I think if we went. But it doesn't stop with a beanie. And the next thing you know, we're doing keychains. No. Oh, come on. And spear, though. And I don't know.

No, no. That's where you gotta sit down and really think about it. A beer. Yeah. Well, somebody came to us, again, like somebody came to us with the offer and... Because then we're almost like advocating drinking, though. He is. Yeah, he did.

I'm fine with that. Yeah. Um, I think with something like Hughes-Brews, it's more fun. It's not like anybody's getting fucking rich. Nobody's fucking, look, Walt called me a failure earlier because that beanie money did not, I don't know. Did I say failure? Did I say it? Did I say it? I at least heard. It's what I heard. He always hears you. No matter what you say say in my head throughout the whole day. I don't actually use the word failure.

Go back to listen to the tape. I don't know if you want them to. I think you use the word failure often. I know. I know. I know that you want to want to speak. I'm just a rat of my son. My work son.

My work son. Yeah. Well, I didn't mean, if I said the the word failure that would be very inappropriate, I think You've you're not a failure and either and you're not a failure either get them every day that you come Don't ever think that way if I feel and sometimes you've heard the term tough love, right? Yes. That's me. That's me all over. I'm just like. Toughest love you're ever gonna get. Yeah, I'm just, if I'm smacking your honest because, you know, deep down, you know, why don't you know what I mean? You're my son. He's ever listened to that when they show up and I'm like, I'm

just giving it a little tough. when they show up and I'm like I'm just giving it a little tough. Okay you got time for a quick fat news? Yeah I do. I got five or four minutes. Okay this will affect you. Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

I'm gonna argue you. I will never f**k you up. Pratt news. Oh chicken. I know how much you like soccer and I've been working on this for a while. Yeah, I can get primo seats anywhere. Really? Yep, why? Well, for what team? This is for all FIFA matches.

All right. Nice. All right. It's a wide array. Speaking of wide, it's because I'm fat that I'm gonna get these tickets. Okay, because Special access tickets are gonna be in four types wheel chair user easy access standard for disabled people people with limited mobility and people with other medical conditions Easy access amenity for people with guide dogs and people with a medical condition with assistance dogs and people that might need additional leg space due to limited mobility or okay, got that so far, right? Oh, base persons.

Easy access, extra width seats for people with a BMI that's equal to or exceeds 35 kilograms and squared shit. This is fucking somebody sent me this email, Jen Hardin. John Hardin, how much are you going to pronounce it? You're now being rewarded for being an obese fatso. That to me is fucking crazy. But I'm not talking about the people who like, you know, through genetics, they can't help. I'm talking about the other 99.9% of people that are like,

at the state of eating fucking hot dogs. Well, how much are they really saving them? They're fucking throat. I don't know if they're saving, but they're, these are going to be better seats. Then you're never a person. I would just be this is hot. This is hot button. But at least it's getting out. This is too hot. I caught shit. Not too wild on the talk about I said, I remember last week on I said about faith, about a haggarate for that. People will like, you really think smoking is

is bad is is is you really think obesity is bad as smoking and I was like I don't have the scientific facts, but it seems like they're both unhealthy to me and a lot of people were like trying to school you know I didn't defend it because I never claim I know what I'm talking about the heart to see yeah it's what I thought too but man that you you can't they don't want any sign of like saying that More bit obesity is bad, but you want to go to this fucking soccer game or not? I'll go. I'll learn some of these because of these shows They had these people are like, oh, I've never had a doctor tell me that I'm unhealthy and like the people are like

Are you sure about that? Oh, yeah, no, no doctors and they're like 600 pounds. I don't know. That's possible My dad's a rail thin and he's doctors telling him recently that he has borderline diabetic because of his diet like and he is rail thin. So you imagine if you threw on extra 200 pounds on the guy? What's his diet? He's just whatever the fucking wants. My mother tries. God bless her. She tries but he's just like probably on the roads. Yeah washes it all down the sweet cues brew you'll take care of me right works on Yes, yes, or yeah later how old you get them 38 And he's definitely diving for you anyway It's just a funeral in the future you're gonna have to pay for

This is all I'm doing on his property. I'm gonna bury him in a very minimal white long box In your yard No, not on his yard. No, not in this property. No, not in my property. Just throwing that Martian cross tree from you. I was really doing what I was moving the boxes. He was like trying to push me out. That was driving. I said we make another fucking skull out of his fucking other kissing

level skull out of him. Before you go to I had something I wanted to ask you. I thought we could roll it real quick into. What was that one segment we did cues broad thoughts broad thoughts I don't know if you have time to weigh on it but maybe we can talk about it next week though did you hear about this new invention? is it called blue apron because blue apron is the number one fresh-and-reed recipe delivery service in that country. their mission is to make incredible home

cooking accessible to everyone they have a good impact on the community. Everything, look, Aala, how many times are I going to say this? They're amazing. Everybody is going to tell us as they pay. I guess so. If you go together, you build strong family bonds, they show that a blue apron family is cooked nearly three times more often. Yeah.

Those who spend a lot of restaurants or high and grocery stores can now spend under $10 for a delicious meal. There's all kinds of do to go to blue apron.com slash T.E.S.D. and get some affordable awesome delicious shit And that's it. So what were you saying? Did you I didn't I know it's kind of touching now. I didn't know there, you know This is But did you hear about this new invention? It's, um, it's, it's where I live in, in, in, in the space age.

Yeah. Um, there's like this glue that women can use. Yeah. To, when they're on that time in a month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a new invention. Yeah. Yeah. Seal them up. Yeah.

So that and then where does the blood go? Just stays inside. You didn't hear about this. That sounds horrible. Yeah. This is what it sounds like. Even around. Yeah. Yeah.

You haven't heard of this. It's brand new. It's causing a bit of an uproar. I think I think at the end they hit up a like a special release agent. No, no, no, no, no. The only thing that can make it the glue like Disappear is that the word son? Yeah I asked my son not Brian

You're in is urine. Urine is the only thing that will dissolve the glue. So they got a pee and then and then reseal up. Yes. Wait, is this something you're working on with your son? Is this another business? Oh, it was this one. I can't even be heard of this. You know, this is a real thing.

I wanted to get like, cues brought thoughts. Like, what's your feelings on this? So, this sounds like a thing from a horror movie like this sounds like German Nazi bullshit like this ceiling up of a genus of the blood collects in it and then and then when you pay it all comes out like the shining when the elevated door is open God it soundsrying away coaches Is it gonna be that much? I mean I wouldn't know is there I mean you said is it possible when it's that much? Yeah, does it ever get the shining levels of flow?

But isn't it but I think though this is because you're we're dudes Yeah, but wouldn't it be better to have that than to have clunky things like, you know, like the way you like. I'm gonna fuck to the flush this tap. He's a moong cup. You know, I see that sign, you know, in some of the restrooms, right, you know, like the, or hotels when I'm at a hotel, it says don't flush these things down the toilet. Yeah.

They should have a glue stick there now. What if you don't put on the right amount of glue stick? Community glue stick? A lot. Community glue stick? I think most people would be like, what has this been like a mission to have? I think the main sticks, not knowing the context.

But feminists are very upset though about this. Why? They're upset that it wasn't invented sooner or they're... It was invented by a man. It was invented by a man and it feels like it's not a... Is it everything? Tell them stupid. I don't know. I am a dog more alive Red for a world of dreams,

I need the black and white. For the land of tears, Broken down in no shit Never found my fight Face the face with my failure, get away, go to the hills, the finish trace of life I'm gonna be trained to get out I can't find my way But in the strong of my will and stuff I can hold the flame

I'm gonna be trained to get out I can't hold the flame I'm talking strange and I can't get out I can't find my way I'm in the strong, but my way is not I can't hold the flame We are the shadow of a man, the joy from where I stood, a better man than I I can't find my way, but I can't the strong but my will is not, I can't hold the flame I can't find my way, but I can't the strong but my will is not, I can't get out, I can't find my way I'm in the strong mud, my will is not

I can't hold the blame ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ� I'm the train, I can't get out, I can't find my way I can't stop, but my window is now, I can't hold this way I don't change it, I can't get out I can't find my way I can't stand the strong but my win is not I can't hold this way I don't change it, I can't fall all the way I've done the change and I can't get out I can't find my way I can't be strong but my will is done

I can't fall all the way This has been a production of SMODCO Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com.