Tell Em Steve-Dave - #376: Trash Purgatory

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

Walt and Bry cap off Q’s absence with the final guest host. Walt dusts off an old game. Music: Crazies - Crazy

If they're not stopping people from fucking them, they're gonna stop them from kicking them. What is the sexiest flag the jerk off to? So what help us? Helm Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave Walt. You're here. I'm here. We've got uh another co-host sitting in. Be cute still not back. Still not back. I was texting with him yesterday oh yeah he's out there on the front lines of the cinematic world take care of all of us sinners how's he doing how's he holding up oh great he loves it who is sitting in BQ's chair this week is this this like, like, Goldilocks in the three bears? Like, who, like, well, I guess no, that was what, that was just, if someone was too fat or too skinny or too, or just right. No, that was the porridge. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, that's not a great analogy. It's not a great analogy in the three bears. The three bear, no, no. Unless you're talking about like in the gay community, would you be considered a bear? Then, that's not really. Absolutely. Yeah, but you probably know him more

for his Twitter views on eugenics and racial purity. Um, officer Troy is here. What's going on? This is a get, right? This is a get, this? This is a get. This is a get. Yeah, so a lot of people guessing whether or not I was going to be here.

And I didn't want to spoil it, but here I am. Is this the first time you sat in on a, like, as a, like, not in a special episode, where you just was just you, like, this intimate setting as such as this? No, I sat in on an episode, actually, before we did any of the special episodes, I was in on one where it ended up being a two-part of the one where we talked about the cults. The, uh,

okay. It was me here. Yeah. Yeah. The cult of the, uh, the, uh, the, uh, the Nike sneakers. Oh, the heavens gate. Heavens Gate. That's it. Yeah. Do you feel that like, let's say, Q, is like, I'm too famous. I'm not giving my voice away for for any more. We got to find a third guy. I think Troy would be pretty good. He would be very good. I think it would be my first choice. I would love to do it someday after our time. You and I have had this conversation many times where doing this is a little bit of a high wire act because while I'm still working, I really have to kind of put a governor on what I can say and can't say. It's not like I may see anything that controversial outrageous, but in this day and age,

God knows what people are going to fight offensive. I mean, what's that stake really? Crystal Dongo's already funded. Exactly. I actually look on the board of game last week and I considered bringing a game this week where I was going to bring up topics and say this is something that somebody's been legitimately offended by and these are two made up things and then the more I thought about it it's almost impossible because I don't know if in the stainese there's anything that

somebody's not offended by so I can't make up something that's not gonna offend somebody. Yeah you text to me this morning and you were very you're like I can't play that game you sound like you're disappointed, but you know it in the we'll play it at one at some point But that's okay. I I I dusted off an old game just in honor of you. Okay Who am done did the crime essay? Now a one point later, but it's an old one and From listeners from way back may recognize it, but it definitely an old one and from listeners from way back may recognize it but it definitely was because especially dusted off because you're here today. Okay awesome. We speculated last week but now we can ask the man himself if

Gidham asked you for a reference to be a security guard right? Yeah let's say he was going into the security field or would would that be considered a field? Like how do policemen look at security guys? Is that It's a brotherhood Part of the blue wall. Yeah, we don't look each other like you a little tip of the cap and be like, you know You know what I bet you it is it's the same as like if a guy in a motorcycle sees a guy on a scooter sure You got two wheels Spider those things are all over the place now

But well, that's a guy by somebody who rides a motorcycle. Are you more apt to be like? You give the I think you give the past to older riders motorcycle are you more apt to be like you give the I think you give the past to older riders yeah because yeah because they just can't balance anymore but they're like I'm still there man I'm still so yeah so you yeah okay but like if Muse had one I'd be like what a fucking corny little bitch but let's say gidam was get heat let's say he got fired from here for not doing his job okay um is this is this a scoop But let's say he was like, all right, I'm going to, I have these credentials that I'm part that I can go get a security job. And he asked you for a reference and you got the call, would you be willing to put

your name on the line for him? Because I don't know if you really know him. what is he guarding it's like a no no a preschool right next to a mosque but for knocks like he's going to be watching watching our gold no no you need to distract to distract the I mean from what I've heard with with theetrack. Does he do like karate moves and shit like that? I tell you right now I am so I'm we had no prior this conversation was like, no, right? I know right now how crust fallen is because how much he respects you and how much he admires you. I just know I am so like giddy right now knowing that like he's listening. He's gonna hear it with me. He's listening. Listen, I should check him off the list. People that I thought liked me. No, it's not us doing like it.

I love it. You like the guy. I love Getham and I admire him and he's a great guy. But until the day comes where the United States currency is not based on the gold standard and my pension and everybody's future doesn't rest on get them preventing a heist I don't know that I can give him that endorsement But he's not the only guy guarding the gold. He's got like it's teachers on a shift

But also you have to think like okay, see the heist goes down right and get them on the job They're like well my god like what what were his credentials? They're like well he did he did cross people at a traffic stop by a horse track poorly and then this guy Troy gave him reference he must have been some reference yeah I don't think like he gets that job it has to it's probably like ex military ex police like if you're going to go or even golden fortenhucks anymore oh hell yeah is there and that's all that's all they got it you think it. I'm sure there's even golden Fort Knox anymore. Oh hell yeah. Is there? That's all that's all they got of it. I hope you think it's a like a it's a shell game like the gold really isn't there. Wouldn't they keep? Why would they say that? If you have everybody

thinks it's a Fort Knox sense totally in some place else. Oh it's in like some cavern in like Colorado. Yeah. Maybe that's what's in hangar 18. Could be. All our gold. And aliens are really a Fort Knox. All right. You know again back to a conversation we had before we started recording Maybe I would trust him because as of right now for most people his real name still a mystery so you can hold a secret He can He can hold a secret, but I mean it's to his benefit though And you know something he'd probably be pretty precious with the gold protecting you too because Wasn't like hiding paper towels and shit. So if he's got a safe guard paper towels. Not just any paper towels. This was an unwrapped

bounty. Okay, you know this wasn't just like food town knockoff paper towels. Double thickness bounty. Like bronny or something like you just go around like taking wild sweaters and covering up the bullion So he would not get the endorsement from you for Ford Knox or not so what like let's all right just his local bank I'm thinking CVS We'd they have for some angles to have an ATM in CVs though We'd have Barbara soon equals to have an ATM and see this though. Maybe a convenience store in the inner city. Yeah, but even that they don't need them because the inner city convenience store is operated through like ballproof windows.

Right. And they have like, yeah, we don't want to wreck the window. So if you could get me to find out the fire first. Your place in these windows is probably pretty pricey. Motherfucker couldn't even protect his teeth. We got to trust him with gold in a pool. Yeah. I'm a pool noodle.

Yeah. I know I know it's him too. I love him. He's correcting that right now in his camp as he's driving to work right now. You know what's funny is that he's always correcting that pool noodle thing, but I've been relisting to some old episodes driving to him from work lately and I listened to the episode where you kind of introduced get them to the world and he's the one to put it out there that he got his teeth knocked out with a pool toy. So he's. Yeah, it's a toy, but it's not a new. Oh,

yeah, I became a pool noodle. Oh, yeah, so it's not the pool toy thing. It's the fact there was a pool noodle. He's saying that. Right. Yeah. He doesn't want anyone to think his teeth are so that soft, I guess. Like he's like, suffers from radiation sickness or whatever. I don't know. But what type of toys are we talking about? What was it? I mean, you wanted to do a service of actually rectifying.

Like how they have like those basket ball rooms you can set up in your pool. Yeah, maybe it was something like that. Yeah, I think it was something that was kind of heavy. That still floats. Okay. And I believe his girlfriend before, before it went sour, she clocked him in the mouth with a pool toy.

Yeah, like the idea that the way it was painted was that like he popped up like, he always peed in love. He was like, bang, knocked his teeth out. She was mad about something, I don't know. Now I know for a fact that you can, if you're in the front get knocked out as his where you can put them back Up inside your mouth and they will reattach to the roots really yeah, I had a friend that happened to I did not know that

They they they shoved them right back in put it went to a dentist and they were able to save the two teeth Well, they didn't like naturally fuse back in, right? The dentist must use some type of epoxy or something to... That I don't know. I don't think that they... Like if they come out, I mean, not chips. I'm not talking about like if they come out fully, like we with like the crowns and the two like the two things at the top.

The bolts are really good. Yeah, if they come out clean and not chipped, you can put them back into your mouth. Okay. Yeah, and they will reattach. Does he still have his teeth? Oh, that motherfucker. He's not going away. He doesn't throw anything away.

He told me he went and digged out his radiator cap from the local mechanic. They said, do you want it? And he said, they replaced it. And he was like, no, I don't want it. And then when he got home later on, he decided he did want it and went back and and this is a guy high and that dug through the The dumpster and found his radiator cap and brought it home. There's some sort of radiator cap

Yeah, is there a radiator cap? Yeah, but isn't it just like a thing that you twist on the radio? But this is a man who like forms bonds with So yeah, so yeah. But that's a kind of guy though, that you may want, Garden, your country's currency. Yeah, somebody takes it seriously. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't sound weird at all.

Yeah, he was a guy who was willing to be locked into a room in like a bank where it's like, there may be a chemical agent going through the air and he's like, all right. My responsibility. History's my responsibility. Yeah. History does have dedication. So again, he talks, he talks to a game because I, because talking about your, your, your

dedication and then when actually when I see it firsthand the actions, yeah, I'm not so sure that he's just not all talk. Is he more likely to be vigilant about the gold than about here? Because we played a prank on him. Not last summer, the summer before, where we got a kid to walk out of the $100 worth of books right under his nose and he didn't see. Yeah, he did fail at that. We got a kid to shoplift the store because he told us that no one could do it under, under his watch and it was done the first try. And the kid like, they didn't hide them.

Did he even just walk right out? Did he notice the kid walking out and then afterwards approached you and said or nothing? Nothing oblivious. He's pretty much all talk. Yeah. So the comeback full circle for Knox, I don't think is it in the cards. How do you tell him you can't do it like I'm like a Troy I got this great job lined up for nox I just need your I need your recommendation need you to fill out this form and give me a glowing like you know How great I be at the job? How do you break it to him? You see it in his eyes pretty simply as you'd be like no

You could do that you could do that. I mean How in his eyes. Pretty simply. I should be like, no. You can do that. You could do that. I mean, how can I come back to bite you just this probability? John, where I kind of fried myself on my judgment of discretion. Yeah. You're instinct. He reads people well. He reads people well. Every conviction I've ever secured gets overturned. You would notice the rapist watching the streets all because he had raped him. The glowing recommendation.

You would look like the TSA agent who's searching the 90-year- old woman in her wheelchair rather than a dude who like actually looks like he might try to like set his shoes on for her son's shit. All right, all right, so now we know. But that's not a blanket. No, case by case, if get him needs a recommendation for something, he can absolutely ask me in case by case. Four knocks is a hard no. It's hard now. What about a pre-teens fort? Sure. I'm gonna treat Fort.

Yeah. So I don't know how much people actually know about you and how you sort of start hanging out with us, but it was 2010, right? The hockey tournament? I met you guys through Kevin when he was filming cop out he was filming in the city in I'd met him and struck up a conversation and became friends with him and then he invited me to start playing with you guys So I think the first time I met you was when we were playing

Maybe an Edison or was he out? We played in that Yeah, we played in Edison we played in Eaton Town Great Madeline average Madeline. Yeah, we played in each town Right Madeline Madeline. Yeah, it was one of the places that we would play. That's where I might you guys And at that point, you know just said a lot whatever, but it was up in Brandford at the second tournament We're Kevin put me on puck with you guys and that night

That you guys did a live show in Brandford afterwards me you and Malcolm went back to Malcolm's room and fuck what a night and sat around a bullshit and that's where we actually got to know each other yeah what it would impress me about you was that you didn't talk about you as you shit at all like all he cared about was 80's horror that's all he wanted to talk about and I was like all right I can get into this but it's yeah it's a, it's an unusual thing for me to like hang out with people. You're always wasting back then. Tom Steve Dave,

if it even started, had just started back then. And you were a little apprehensive because over the course of, I'm famous, at that point. So at that point, 15 years, you said you always had a guard up because people come up to you and invariably they were trying to use you as an end to me, Kevin, or to get something from Kevin. So much has changed because it's now it's cute. But the fact that I met you guys through Kevin, there was no ulterior motive, there was no like, you know, do you think that I get a picture of him? You think I can mean like, so,

but just was there hanging out and we became friends. Your at-the-thee was what impressed me. Yes. And, but that's where we first started talking and hanging out, but what really bonded us was our mutual hatred of people because you and I started texting back and forth about people.

And we found that we just like the same exact people. And if you like, you know, you many times you'll blame the Twitter people and shiver getting me going about stuff, the main culprit is sitting on his table. Hey, did you see this? Hey, did you see this? But it is, it does fuel something that the mutual hatred of certain people, like, no matter, it's been years. It's been years that will send stuff back and forth. And there's no diminishing returns with it. No, no, no.

It only increases your fervor. I think the first one was, it was when you guys were talking about starting college men and there was a lot of online controversy because people wanted to see a female cast member and you guys who are adamant that it should be like no, it should be the guys who are working with our old friends. And there was a lot of backlash saying like no you have to cast a female, you have to cast a female.

And there was one particular squeaky wheel who just wouldn't let go of it. And I had sent you, I believe, actually I think I posted on Twitter saying I don't know why this person is talking so much shit about the comic book man and the stash when she uses Sunday Jeff as her avi. Right, yeah, I remember that because they were, they were one of the things, these are old view-escue like boardies, someone like the OG view-escue people

and they had their own little rumor, whatever, and they were talking about comic book men and they started like commenting on my looks and shit And then it went to Twitter after they got banned from the board and Then Troy sent that about what's in Abby like your picture on Twitter and when I say that I wasn't It was you know, I don't want to be grossed by paying myself on the back But it was fucking hilarious because she got her av, it was, it looked like Sunday Jeff.

Oh, it really wasn't. Oh, yeah, no, it wasn't. It wasn't. Oh, she wasn't a big Sunday Jeff. The point is that she was so much like Sunday Jeff. Oh, that's okay. And get the joke. So, within sending that, within seconds, Brian texted me, he was like, holy shit, I'm

fucking crying. And I was like, so it's been at this point now what, 10 years of just daily, back and forth about fucking with people. Yeah. And we've spoken to about like, when do you think you'll retire, by the way? I'm eligible to retire already. I could have retired as of last April,

but the truth is I love what I do. And I don't see myself leaving until at least another four years from now, three and a half four years. Could I take it back even further than your origins? I know it's important when you met us, but... Can I get a my job? How did you know you're going to become a policeman? And did you ever, did you ever done the street cop?

Yeah, you had the blues? Yeah, the blues. Yeah, everybody starts there. Yeah, yeah. You tell us that. That's amazing. I, I didn't know what I want to do, even in college and in college. I met this guy Danny Sheen.

He ended up being the best man in my wedding. He's a very good friend of mine. And he had his mind made up early on in life that he wanted to be a cop. And he was telling me all about it. And something I never considered, but he made it sound pretty good so I took the test and never looked back and it's the best, well besides my wife and kids it's the best decision

I ever made in my life. I can't wait to cut that out. Did your buddy also become a cop too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys both made it up. Yeah, he, uh, you were a cop. Two Irishmen on the police force. Wow. Yeah, you guys both made it up. Yeah, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, he, uh, uh, he, he, uh, you stay on my job, I can write my own ticket. You know, you'd be my, in the police department,

the fire department, you'd call it a hook. Like, somebody who could help you out in your career. And I've done pretty well for myself anyway. I'm happy where I am. And I probably wouldn't want to change it, but made a fuse with chief on my job. I'd probably be driving him or something. Now, so you start off, you go to the Academy.

What's that like? Is it like TV, like the rookies? Yeah, it's six months in the academy you learn. The law, police science, social science are the three curriculums you learn. And then the gym, for the self-defense, you go to the range to learn how to shoot. You go to drive a training to learn, like, driving tactics.

And it's six months, then you graduate, and you go to a command, and everybody starts in uniform on patrol. So I did that for, you see for me, I think six years, and then I went to Antichrime, which is a playing closed detail, and then I went to the detective squad, I did that for nine years, and then I went to homicide three years ago. So, so you're what's your rank right now? I'd detect it.

Detective. Yeah, cop. In your opinion, what is the most truest representation of a TV cop that's closest to what you deal with. I get that a lot and... Coprock? No. Obviously, like...

Around you. Or TV. If you ask anybody, like, patrol wise, I don't even know any more because they really don't watch a lot of it. But in an office in a squad, it's Barney Miller. Get the hell out of here. Yeah. Would you ever

Like that? You know it maybe because of like he tells me about like the camaraderie and the ball breaking and that kind of shit so it does seem like a bunch of Just regular guys that make fun of each you have do you have have you had the same partner for? Like it as a detective have you had the same Yeah, so it's not like Starskine, huh, at all? No. I like to go out and you or your partner got hooked on H and then he had to get you off and then you crack, then you can't. That was not his partner.

And you stormed a drug haven and got those guys that got your partner, you know, like hooked and stuff. Like those are like what I would assume, like, or the news. It was cool, Kay, not everyone. Oh, I'm really like, yeah. Yeah. You're because they forcibly injected Starski or Hutch with it. I know what he was talking about. And then Starski has to get him off.

And like it took a weekend, but he got him off of it. And then they went and they storm the drug house and they got the bad guys who pumped up, you know, Hutch, full of this. I just want to see, I just want to see Troy carrying this partner out of the crack house. So my partner has Pope Dick. So what help us?

So you never, are you never watched, dark skin? No, never watched, you know, how old are you? So you're, you're younger than us? 44. So you're not that much younger than us. No, when I went, when I was, went to, uh, the Joker said, I,

I downloaded the first season of Star Skin Hot Chester, watching. You know the episode I'm talking about? Yep. Huggy Bear is awesome. You have a you have a Huggy Bear on the on the ground that gives you all the info about the purpose and you overlook his soul change. It's odd to me I'm more drawn to this TV thing. You watched Barney Miller but not Sarski and Hutch. Barney Miller I only just watched some episodes over the last couple of years. Oh okay. That goes to a young friend.

Oh okay. Alright. But 9 year old doesn't love fish. You know, old gehoets. Yeah. But yeah, it's, you know, the best part of my job is sitting around the office with the guys just like breaking each other's balls and stuff. The camaraderie.

Yeah. That's what you'll miss the most. Yeah, absolutely. But Brotherhood. Yeah. That's a, it says the same thing. I've very had that. Well, there's a Brotherhood in podcasting right?

You don't feel like a Brotherhood for with like, you know, like you see Ming, you see Mike, you guys, you just shake your head, you guys know each other, you know what you guys are going to. I mean, if I'm looking at Mike and I see an ancestral brotherhood, if they're brothers, but now I don't think so. Like, I feel very close to you and Q, but that would be regardless of your podcast or your name. I'm certainly not like Ming May though.

Ming may see like a brotherhood. Yeah, well, there's something that can't be replicated when you're talking about guys though, who put their life on the line. Yeah, it's like, well, we almost got shot. We almost got burned up on fire. Yeah, they don't know what's going to happen. We pretty much know what's going to happen.'re gonna make fun of micaming, gonna have a episode, gonna make fun of Dachlan, gonna push some

shit we don't care about. You don't have to learn the time you know? Not every time. No, but that's most of my job. It's like that. I walk into work and I know I'm gonna make fun of mic. I know I'm gonna make fun of Kevin. I know I'm gonna make fun of Ray.

It's very much like this around the office. I mean, we work too, but a lot of it's just ball break. And I've told you a million times, you would fit right in on that floor to make a fun of people. That would be the only thing I've ever heard that maybe want to be a cup. I think I'm making fun of people all day. Is it like the TV though where like you get a call in the middle

and night and you're like, Hey, man, there's like, there's a body under the docs. Yeah. Well, you got to get out there. Troy. man, there's a body, you're gonna docks. You gotta get out there, Troy. Yeah, there's a body under the dock or some guy passed out at his door. Congratulations. There's a body under that.

Hey, scream. So you don't have set hours, it's like you're just on call. No, I do have set hours. I have a set schedule every week, but then when something happens, like if there's a new case, we can get it actually happened. This one thing in the last month, beginning this month, where I got to call it, you know, 345 in the morning, I was supposed to be working eight, but I got to call and have to get up

and get ready and head in early, because when something happens, you know, the boss will call around, tell you where to come in, and we just come in early for it. A couple of times, too, you would love this. Well, like something will happen where like a weapon will get thrown into the garbage or something or some piece of evidence will get thrown into the garbage. And then it goes to the station and then they have to go and look for it like sometimes in the summer. Like tons and tons of garbage they got the sort of thing. Even if it's not in a dumpster, don't you have to at least check and see if it's an adomster? Well I like we search and see what's happened. I told Brian that's a true story because two

summers ago in August on the hottest day of the year we had to go to a landfill. Not a landfill it was like a waste station for that garbage trucks, don't know. So if that knows, and we just don't know, we just waste station for trucks. And we have to dig through literally tons of garbage. I'm sure Q's not listening to these episodes. I'm isolating certain things for him. I'm going to do him stuff. That'll be one. So you had to go. I'm isolating certain things for them. I'm gonna kill them stuff, that'll be one.

So you had to go on the hottest day. And you have to wear, now are you able just to wear whatever you want or like, are you like Martin Riggs or are you more like, where you have to wear a suit? The suit. You have to wear a suit no matter how hot it is. Yeah. Wow.

That sucks. And so you have to get down dirty and start digging so you can suit on, huh? Yeah, I mean, if we knew ahead of time, we probably would have worn, to get down dirty and start digging your suit on. I mean, if we knew ahead of time, we probably would have worn jeans and t-shirts to do it. We were already aware of all you have to go. So yeah, ruin a suit that day. Oh, wow. How do you get to the point where you can be?

Did you turn the fucking heat down up or heat up again? Yeah, you lie and I can tell you. Lie when you set it. No, no. Heaps in it like 80 in here. It's about to get hot. Air just was just up low. Yeah, no, he's in it like 80 in here. It's goddamn hot air Just was just up low. Yeah, I just heard it on all of those

How do you get to the point where you can dress like Martin rigs like who's that guy? No, I already did that. I'm used to do that. Yeah, that's before I got to the squad that's anti crime where Three Planes. Yeah, have you ever gone like in and also that's not real. All right, Martin rigs isn't not real like in and also that's not really part of the reason that not real but like have you and full I know you probably I know not without getting any details obviously I know you can't but have you ever gone undercover where you're like posed as like somebody you weren't a nude model for art class where where I work I can never go on to cover because everybody knows exactly who I am Not all city no in the neighborhoods. I work in I wouldn't blend in let's say you were like your station

To another to another neighborhood where no one knows you and you go in as like your Oh, if it was like a department or a man or something You're like a maids like Busting Frick Fritz maids out. Oh, so wait. he's like he's like one of the Westies. What's that? He's like that Irish guy. Irish mafia. Yeah and you're trying to like like infiltrate like get inside a brass go or something like that. Yeah. No. What'd you do it? Do you have the first the acting skills? Yeah, I'm in the skills right that's a lot of improv right it's all improv yeah, you're probably there's any improv at the Academy

Ground things They look out to the crowd be like okay, so we can do job. Okay, I'm a landscaper in give me a city You should start a cop improv group and call them the roundlings, right? That's a good idea. Yeah, man. What does that mean like like bullet like rounds? Oh, but it's a cop improv group Well, I mean, yeah, you guys are I mean you guys would be naturals. Yeah, you know, I'm blaming you for the heat You know, I'm drinking a fucking boy. That's probably you for the heat, you know, I'm drinking a fucking boy. That's probably my fault. That's why I called you ice coffee.

Yeah. Would you have it in you? Could you be an undercover guy? Not a chance. You might be good though, because there was, um, fuck, I can't remember his name, but he infiltrated the, um, I think it was the Mongols motorcycle group. And he was, he was like for a couple of years, he was in there. And one of the things was he doesn't sweat

So it doesn't like people Never father fucker like 100 degrees In my whole 50 years though I haven't been trying to like snow fucking murderers People will chop me up to bits So I may like my preparation level maybe change if I know the room is full to people who will fucking cut me up into little Big pieces. It only takes one person like you over here is like I don't trust him. Oh, gosh Also, you always see the movies where they like you know, prove you're not a cop and they made the person do drugs right this the guy who consider Spice's drugs

I think it was a buffer on it. I mean the salt. I do think though that, and I've said it to Troy before, you know, I don't think you've seen the documentary, the 7.5, which I highly recommend to everyone. It's about the late 70s, early 80s, these two cops who sort of, they were like cowboys. They got on to the payroll of these drug dealers and they were going around. They were robbing people, they were protecting drug dealers on this shit. And they eventually got busted and went to jail, but now they're out. I don't think Kenny did actually, one of the guys went to jail.

And out of those two guys, like one was more of the stand up guy and not like... He sort of got talked into it, which I feel would be Troy. And then there was the other guy who was like, here's what we should do, which I feel like would be me. Like, Troy's told me that he's gone into after drug bust and there'll be tens of not hundreds of thousands of dollars in a wall, and I'm like, how do you not take a chunk of it?

He's like, nope, not worth it. He's like, he's not worth it. You chuck your roast. I know. I mean, just basic morality. You don't steal. What are promises? Except for words and a certain order.

Is that like Michael Dath? I was a sociopath. If he didn't become a cop, then he would be a criminal. He just ended up being both. He would be part of a crew or something. Right. That's a guy just thinking, fuck, and like, the first thing you did once you got away with it,

it was just snowballed until you did crazy, you're an crazy, you're an crazy, you're shit. Yeah. Like doing the things that it's like, dude, like driving a red Corvette to work, where you make, at that time it was like some like 30,000 years. And not collecting his paychecks. His paychecks were sent in the property for weeks,

for like weeks and months. And they're like, why is this guy not need to collect his paychecks. His paychecks were sent in the property for weeks, for like weeks and months. And they're like, why is this guy not needing to collect his paychecks? Well, I think it's probably because he was coked out of his mind all the time. So it's like it didn't occur to him to do stuff like that. He was very much like a Joe Pesci character. When you watch documentaries,

you just got like that personality's. Yeah. But it seems exciting. Like I don't know how much excitement you see on a daily basis, but like the way that was presented, I was like, man, the adrenaline must never stop. It's exciting. I don't know how much excitement you see on a daily basis, but the way that was presented, I was like, man, the adrenaline must never stop. It's awesome. Well, so I would say, have you ever solved

the unsolvable murder, like the murder mystery? By definition. I mean, what are you talking about? Well, ours are a guy. It's like, guys over legends in your precinct to guys who are like, you know, like, they were amazing. They got this reputation.

They basically, did you come across any Columbus in your you know, tighten the work, but it's a lot of really talented guys. And off mic, I could tell you about a couple like really good cases, but not something I can talk about. Well, I don't mean to like get into the details, but like, or their cases that were just like where you were like, like, I don't mean to get into the details, but like, or their cases that were just like where you were like Like you I don't think this is not solvable and then you guys But somebody cracked it. Yeah, and they're like like their legends in the amongst you guys like they're so like like

like club almost have how many how many people as he put behind barmer hundreds is there some people like that like and I mean Not there's not like one particular guy you're like holy shit like you did There are cases that have come down and one particular guy you're like holy shit like you did there are cases that have come down and From the jump you're like they are I don't know if this one's gonna go, but then Things just fall into place and they end up getting solved and you're like holy shit like that was good work, right? So it does happen though. Yeah, I there's one in particular I told you about recently that was a really good case that at the beginning house like I don't know if this was ever gonna go but do about recently, that was a really good case that at the beginning I was like, I don't know if this was ever going to go, but recent. Oh yeah, that was interesting. Yeah, it was really interesting.

I'll tell you about it later on. Okay. Okay. Four years. I'm just going to talk about like it's, I'm going to tell you all my, that's the thing, like I told you, like it's, I'm telling you right now. I love doing this, but it feels like it's like doing it with one hand tie by my back, because I'm going to like the best. In four years, you and you and Brian, she started podcast. We've talked about it. Oh yeah, four years you guys got like a head on your hand. What's that one that's always what they always always talks about? Oh like cereal. Yeah, you guys can top that because you got the humor and the badge. so that's the bad joke. Like, hey. Yeah, would you give him a recommendation to be a CO?

What's that? Correction. Like you, like you always be kidding. Yeah, yeah, that I would. Definitely. Those guys, how do they do that? How do they, how do they, how do they exist? Like like I can never do that job. I mean, just a series and the sheet of the papers and the guys I talked to I couldn't do

that job. What's that bomb they throw at you? Oh, the when they gas some it's called gassing them. Yeah, it's like a bomb of urine and fees. You know, get them would be gas like you can be even by the cell to sell. gas them as you walked her to front door it was a water balloon filled with some shit like I don't know if getting what do well though there because he be

too easily intimidated he doesn't seem to be like a well I mean I tell you if you give him the authority he would I think he would love it I think they would just be uh finally you know he would have it and I think he would love it I think they would just be uh finally you know he would have it and I think he would oh yeah person why breaks out how's he gonna fairly fight for his life to get out of there especially after he's fair right I mean

especially after you wielded all that authority over everyone like what's going back to the panem that wouldn't go well for him um finally understand wise practicing karate moves. Yeah, right. Just one leg starts to go up and then he's just down. Like, there are so many of those shows on Netflix like locked up this, locked up that. And these guys are like monsters. It's like, did you see Deadpool to yet?

Not yet. I did see Solo. You went to see Solo? Yeah, why? It's Star Wars, right? I thought you were going to go see, so I didn't want to solo, but go ahead. I wanted to go with a sexy pansexual. It was very unsatisfying, very just unfulfilling. It wasn't bad, it wasn't good, it was just kind of like...

Yeah, just felt unnecessary. I mean it's hard to... Oh okay, if there you're like behind me like somebody's sneaking up on me. just felt unnecessary. I mean, it's hard to, that's fine. Oh, okay. If they were like behind me, like somebody's sneaking up on me. I think it's very difficult to cast younger versions of iconic characters that people, like that actors owned, like, you know, Harrison Ford owns on solo. So it's very difficult. You're asking a lot of any young actor to come in and try to Fill those boots. He really wasn't that great. What were you gonna say about that pull? Shit. Oh, awesome tough guys. Oh, yeah, there was

If you had seen it, I was gonna tell you one of the guys that shows up in an end Like it like some of these guys remind me of this character. They're just fucking massive and The guys are like, all right, well, we're gonna have to do a Celestra extraction. And then there's like eight guys jumping on the one dude trying to pull them out. And he's still like, right, because it's like, I've got nothing to lose. Yeah. Like, they've got nothing to lose some of these guys. Do you ever wish that you did it? Well, like, just for like a week, just to see what it would have been like.

Never once have I ever wished that I had made a different decision. After the first viewing of Oral Pleasure with that fucking dude, that was enough. No, I don't want to see more of this. I just knew that man. We'll go work at the stash where two guys would never give each other head. You might give me. Oh, damn it. I just knew that I work at the stash where two guys would never give each other Now that's just yeah, it takes a different kind of Person that can deal with that and that's not me because it's it would just it feels like it would just be non-stop like

Acting up that's not me. Yeah, it feels like it would just be non-stop acting up. That you're having. I was working at the wreck, except with guys that would talk to us about killing him. I don't think it's you who could not even. The worst part of it even is that you're locked in there too. Yeah. For part of your day, you're just in prison also, or jail also.

It without weapons. Yeah. Fuck Casper Gomez and fucking. The fucking deus brother, it's them all. Well, you know what that means. I'm laying on my Casper and watching Scarface son. I don't get these references. Well, tell me recently he's like Q and I were texting back and forth and Walt was in the group text. He's like, I gotta be honest, like 80% of the time I've no idea what you guys are talking about. That's a reference to Kevin Spithpuppen and here ladies and gentlemen to add

to lend extra salesmanship to this Casper spot. Um, yes, we're just all laying on a three-man Casper mattress right now. All together and not weird about it. Constantly for us. And what's weird is we opened it out of the box and we all stood there and watched it on Pearl. That was fun and then we're all laying on it right now.

He's talking about fucking Scarface, man. Fuck Casper Gomez and fuck the fucking DS brothers. He fucked up. He got away. Yeah. He's dropping movie references. Yeah, yeah, I gotta be honest. I like. I'm sorry. Scarface. Really? Back in the day on cable and I did. I heard so much about it and I really wasn't that interested in it. I'm a truck. I I live in this guy.

Her woman is so polluted. She can't even have a little baby. That's pretty good. If you'd seen the movie more than once, you'd recognize that. You're not me right now. Here at talent. He's chopping real nuggets here. And he's not even doing like the big ones.

Like say hello to my little friend. He's pulling deep cuts. Isn't there only so much time in this world that you can spend watch rewatching movies though I'm looking to talk to you I rewatch my movies all the time plus the movies I grew up with and stuff plus I'm in the business of referring to old movies all the time I'm just in the movie business general yeah I hope that never fucking ends but you know what feels fucking good man When you watch a movie laying on one of them sweet ass Casper mattresses my god Casper mattress. Let me do you want better when I'm a heart attack

Hmm, I slept my fucking the the when I cheated death Brian and Walter and Brian and whoever else when I cheated fucking, the first night back on earth alive, not dying, my head was sleeping on Casper pillow. Jason used, brought a Casper pillow to the hospital. He goes, look, the hospital pillows, he's going, you don't know who died on it. He goes, use this and he gave me that Casper pillow and it it was supple it just held my fucking head. They're not just the mattress people. They do pillows as well. That's not discounting. Your amazing recuperate may have been attributed to that Casper pillow. I've been telling my cardiologist that. My cardiologist says it's him in the stent. I say no. I say I slept that first night on a Casper pillow.

And I see that's what did it. or you like a couple feet away from the light And we use came in with that pillow and you're like that's drag me back I was like I can't I can't go in yet. I got to see what this feels like Heaven couldn't feel as good as this and I put my head on that cast per pillow and You're absolutely right, but I said fuck God. I know that's not gonna sell a single pillow or mattress But I I said this is better than heaven. You were heavily medicated. It's the only reason you said it.

That's why. Otherwise, I respect God and everybody who believes in God. I said, just, I said, like the cure, I said, this is just like heaven, I says. Yeah, I mean, next to the back up, you left my cure, Joe Kang, in the way he left your fucking scar face, Joe Kang. I have no idea again, the cure, what's that?

It's a band. You haven't laid on enough beds with men. Cash for matches is talking boys about music and their feelings. You'll hear him go on and on about like how much of the Dars Day Show he watched. He's punctuated by sucks. It's the worst.

I love it. I love it. When nothing sucks when you it on a cash register. That will make the Dars Day show watchable. Yeah, that must be the key. You know what, I don't need to tell you this. You can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night risk free sleep on a trial. Where is it?

You can literally give them a mattress back after a fucking 99 nights and they're like, all right, fair enough, bye. And that's that. Like, you don't hear from them ever again. It's not like you piece of shit. You slept on it. I don't know what else to do. What else do you do when I was like, er, no, it's amazing.

Oh, you made it back to them like defiled and fucking ruined. Well, I would imagine they'd be like, hey, this is beyond the pale. Yeah. 99 straight nights of banging. Yes. And you can send it back. You can destroy that. Just wear it out and still send it back. And they will honor that return. But here's why they can put that offer out there. Ready? You ain't going to send it back. It is. You're already through the box. Yes. Number one, you can't find the box. Could you, could you do you guys do the 99 day defiling challenge?

Me and fuck every day for 99 days. 99 days? Does myself count? My pound and my fist? I don't think that would technically count. Well, I'm a heavy said dude. So, undulating flat, slam down on the matches is a virtual motion.

Yes, yes. I think it hurts just as much as getting fucked. I think that's why they can offer it, because they know no one's going to be able to do them. I don't think we offer it strictly like if you fuck on this 99 top straight you a man son it's a sleep on a trail. This matches is amazing. I love, look, not only sleeping on his comfy as fuck, but I'm telling you the entertainment

value alone of taking that thing out the box, it's like when you know your kid buys one of those fucking sponge things, those in water becomes a little dinosaur sponge and shit, take that, dial it up to 11. My suggestion, as a stoner, get baked, then open the box. Yeah.

Oh, it's fun to watch. It's just like, like, and you're like, how'd they get all that in there? It's like when Brian has sex with women They're like how do you get all that in there? Yeah, man And I'm like through fucking sheer engineering like the cash If you own a cash per mattress I own three. Do you really? Yeah? Actually paid for I paid for them to each one each one. I respect that I respect the shit? Yeah, I actually paid for it. I paid for them too each one each one I respect that I respect the shit out of that that you paid for

Thank you. Because you're like I'm fucking being I'm I'm owned by no man You're like when I speak for Casper is because I enjoyed a quality of their works, all right? I will never I will never buy another mattress other than Casper That's I'm not a kid and I know I've been kidding around a lot about that sleep We're not really sleeping on the mattress right now and Peter the mind there's so many people that were like jerking off thing the whole three of us on the mattress

he's going ooh there but then that 99 days day one with those three boys but I but all kidnicide I almost it's this I still lay in my Casper and think to myself I cannot believe how comfortable this is and That is not a lie. That's a fucking testimony right there. Never mind salesmanship That's that's a testimony man That's a guy who's like legit just telling you the straight-up dope man and wall flat again He's a man of means he could buy any mattress he wants He's got the time to go shopping in a mattress store with his wife

But he's not fucking be holding to the tyranny of the mattress store. He'll never walk through the doors of a mattress store again. Fuck them. His time is his. How many small businesses he's fucking ruined just like they had to hang up their sign. Yeah. We're done.

I won't buy a mattress from my fucking shoes. He's left to fucking a string of dead mattress stores in his wake, man, because he's fucking gone right to Casper. They make it happen. What is it? Casper.com slash Tess D? Well, first I got to talk about five of these talking points, which, oh, good lord. Yeah. I don't think we, I think we, I don't have a Kevin Smith negate having to say five. I don't want to hear you got to do it again, which I've heard 18 times less. I honestly feel between waltz like I will literally never buy any other mattress and me going, I lived and after dying and love their product.

Like I mean, I can't say enough good things about super quick. Go ahead. They're interesting. All designed to develop and assembled the United States affordable prices because Casper cuts out the middleman and sells directly to you. Well, castle free returns if you're not completely satisfied. Delivered right to your door in a small, how did they do that? So it's box. It's part of the fun. Free shipping and returns in the United States and Canada. Spect. This no, I mean, this offer is applicable only to select mattress purchases and terms and conditions apply. You know, how many times I didn't say terms and conditions apply and they're like, do it again.

To be fair, I've never said that either. So it would be, yeah, maybe you're still on your first commercial problem. Get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper dot com slash TESD-S-D and use the promo code T-E-S-D check out terms and conditions apply do not address the following under any circumstances and I want to say it so bad every time but I'm not going to. Casper mattress, motherfucker, what are you waiting for? You want to sleep like a human being? Instead of the animal you've been sleeping like and a goddamn cage in a corner with your wet you're more animal than man you're yes you're exactly less human fucking more animal so you want to be more human you get yourself a Casper mattress go to Casper dot com slash test day get some money off that first

mattress Casper dot com what do you guys want to do you want to watch Scarface fuck yeah up fluff up your pillow and I want to quote you know know we're talking about rub my back while we watch Scarface no problem. Fry your up mine now. Fuck we got a human centiped massage. It's gone. How do you how do you see like how do you can you rationalize on a rationalize but how do you wrap your head around the guys who are cops in like England who know who who work the streets with no weapons? No, I don't know how much of that is true anymore. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I'm growing up. That was the thing that like, you know, the English pop up I'm even I don't even know if that's. Oh, that thing. Oh, that may be an acutely over the last couple of years when you see all these knife attacks and

I'm harsh driving into crowds. I don't think it operate like that anymore. Is it weird that there's a time they could though? Yeah. That's crazy. If the UK police carry guns anymore in Northern Ireland, they all carry firearms. And the rest of the United Kingdom of majority do not that duties instead carried out by specially trained firearms officers. I guess it's still a matter of debate.

We know what they probably don't have to, because I guess maybe there just aren't a lot of guns over there either because every time you hear about any mass murder, somebody runs around stabbing people or they drive a car into a crowd. You don't hear about mass shootings over there. Well, they have one of what the eagles, the death metal eagles or the eagles and death metal. No, that was in France. Oh, that was in France. Oh, that was in England.

And even the, um, what was the Ariana Grande concert? That was an England, but that was a bomb, right? Yeah There's been a in the news though. I want to ask you this Troy a lot of feces related crime recently and I want to ask you have you personally see in the stash is what he's thinking about it. Have you seen an uptick in crimes involving excrement? No, not an uptick is it wasn't really ever a thing. No, but I'm telling you about like you've seen in the news recently right? I have it in clean.

Like have you seen the news recently right? It seems like it's been like crazy about how much? The only feces related crime I know about is when you guys talked about the other week with the school superintendents shitting on the track. Oh, you didn't see about the lady in Canada who went into the, to the Bob Horde. Oh, no, I didn't see that, the Tim Hortons, yeah.

And it's everywhere lately. It's like, it's the thing to do now, I think, you know. Oh, maybe gun controls work and that's the other thing. Well, the whole like, this is, remember we were talking about Starbucks last week, something's happened since, you know, it was like, hey, anyone can come in, right? Right.

So, best buy in LA right in West Hollywood, best buy that we used to go to all the time, security notices some guy, like sort of acting like he's not a shopper. He seems to be watching other people rather than looking for merchandise or whatever and he's walking around a little bit, walking around a little bit. All of a sudden he clocks a dude, takes his iPhone, runs out the door. This is an example of best by security being like, oh my god if we say something and we're wrong, it's going to be an issue.

So now you have to wait until a guy gets knocked out. As opposed to what? Saying like, removing him because he's just acting weird? Just asking him, being like, hey, can I help you with something? Like, they should have sent someone up to be like, hey, can I help you find something or whatever? And like, let that guy know that it's like, you're being watched. You agree with that? Yeah, I mean, you hear a lot of stores now they're corporate policies, like don't get involved. Somebody takes something that's just letting them walk out.

And then what's the point of even having security? Can I say, I'm gonna say that, I'm gonna say that. I guess it's for most people, if, you know, the temptation was there, they wanted to shop, if something, they're thinking to think twice about what the security guard, But I guess if most people knew that you could just pick up that saw all the home depot and walk out the door and No one's gonna stop you maybe would happen more often the company's just gonna take it as a loss rather than like the best

Public city if you want to stand targets like notorious for that like they just somebody walks out Just let them have it like call police that's of most people's policy which I agree with because You know have it like call police that's of most people's policy which I agree with because you know guys getting paid $10-12 an hour doing security does he really want to confront somebody and possibly it happened uh was it interest? No it was in the city recently where it was a supermarket somebody was like shoplifting and all the employees corner the guy and like grabbed him and the guy ended up having a heart attack and buying on the floor and now the stores on the hook because they're saying that basically fucking killed this guy for trying to shoplift. Oh yeah it's tough man it's a tough situation. What's

your policy here? What's the official policy? Some like you say, get a thing to walk out of the door. We don't have we don't have anything written in place protocol. It's kind of like play it by ear. Just how the cops do it, right? Well, tread lightly. Well, you don't want to give people the impression that it's OK. It's the target of comic books. I just say, like, we know what we'll do. We have we've kind of run some drills.

But I don't want to give too much away of what we're going to do it like when all three of us we have hand signals down we have we have we have something set in place though. All right yeah. So it's gone beyond the one fake security camera we've since 1998. That's good. I also want to ask you this and you don't have to weigh in if you don't want to like if you feel it's too You don't want to give your opinion on it and took like maybe one away for four years But what are your feelings on costumed vigilantes? That you're now are they're popping up all over the all over the country now like groups of Yeah, actually I'm bringing up because in san diego there's uh...

there's a there's a guy called the brick who's a part of the extreme justice league he wears a four-color deemons jersey as his costume he has a brick mask on anywhere's a four-color deemons jersey he's part of the extreme justice league and they go out in the are kind of like costume vigilantes what's your that's also well mean, but as a policeman, how do you feel about the that? Let's say he, you know, you, you're on your beat tomorrow and you see a group of guys in costume and

move it for Longboy. Just, people in the streets clean it. What, I mean, why would you really feel if you had to deal with something like that, costume vigilantes? a to a tater day. Yeah, get to a pickle and they keep fouling up your cases. They keep coming in and you're not going to be able to collar some perp because they stepped in and they since they won't reveal their identity, you're not going to be able to. To use the cord and they screwed up the whole ID procedure. Yeah, so you know, you'll never find out who the brick is. I don't know.

In this hypothetical scenario, are they like driving crime down or people terrified of committing crimes? Well, they're like, well, they're causing... Well, almost like Batman. Maybe you have to save one or one at a, like maybe they cause a riot or something or like, and you have to go in and like, they're maybe in your estimation,

they're causing more problems than solving. Yeah, then I think that I can't get behind custom vigilantes if they're causing riots. Since we haven't had a riot in New York City, since like the mid 80s. Well, one of these things, like a bar brawl, something on the level of a bar brawl, they're causing it. When an old school western bar brawl,

where like one person punches a guy and then everyone's fighting see officially I can't endorse costume vigilantes but I'd officially be pretty cool to live in the world but that was going on because I think it would be fucking hilarious well it is going on I mean these guys are doing it there's there's a whole bunch of there's any stories of like there you ever heard of? I believe his name was Phoenix Jones Yeah, he was on his own come bookman and he he's been shot at he's been he's been he's been physically assaulted and I mean, he's the real deal and apparently not because you haven't told about a crimes

He's just a piece of He has solved he has solved up like women getting beat up Okay, five their boyfriends and stuff. He's he's come in and save them right he's actually Halt beard guy Let's go Suzanne. Oh thank you, Strelcher, my hero shop. Let's take our domestic violence elsewhere. I mean, it's Jones' to stick in his nose and my business. What didn't change your opinion of Cost and Vigilantes if there was no doubt though they had superpowers though.

Yes. If there's not like legit soup, like if the DCU came to life and people had superpowers. Or just that's he, and he just somehow he was able to fly whether it be by mechanical or mutin abilities. or mutant abilities, would it change the police forces? Because in the comics and the films, even with superpowers, the cops are still always kind of like down on like Spider-Man and anybody who, all these costume heroes, but if you guys in the real world knew these guys had powers, would it change how you, but you still really couldn't trust them, right?

Because they were hiding behind a man. I'm thinking in the real world of people at superpowers, they wouldn't spend the time being at some merit and they would exploit it to make money. I would. But I really, I mean, I don't know. I still think there's people if they had powers, they would.

It just ingrained in us as Americans that we should use our powers to fight evil, though. Well, I mean, you know how appreciated the police are in this world. Imagine if you had a costume, maybe even more. I just kind of, eventually, fit, well, you see, it exists in real life, but like Phoenix Jones, like how much of his crime fighting ability is him getting involved in stuff and stopping it and how much of it is people's just sheer confusions.

See this guy showing up like when they're in the middle of like, you sit like, beat up a girlfriend. How much of it is like, what the fuck? And that's the way you know the way certain women are. Like, like, the Black ladies especially would be like, mind your fucking business, Phoenix Jones, like she would take care of it herself. I've seen like videos like World Star

where Black ladies are fucking housing dudes, like knock them the fuck out with one punch and people like It's awesome watch it up like lady that'll like get punched and be like fuck that and just take the guy down Right beat us. That's amazing and the flip side of the coin is the woman like in the Tim Hortons video that you showed who just shits in a hand And throws at it somebody. Yeah, is that a superpower? video that you showed who just shits on your hand and throws at somebody. Is that a superpower? Um, I don't think it is unless like her, unless her excrement can do something after it hits you, other than just repulsed you, like, you know, like if it had like, like

it could like, like explode or it could, um, make you shrink or make you grow or something that's gonna make you slow. Yeah, that's all it's gonna do. But I'm like this guy, brick the brick in San Diego. We're gonna interview him and find out if he has, if he's just doing this without superpowers now. Not knowing anything about the brick, too. No.

No. We're probably next week, we're gonna get him on Skype, but we're he's gonna phone in and we're gonna talk to the brick Okay, yeah more more so then I know nothing about the brick and I know very a little about Phoenix Jones But I would imagine that the woman who shits her hand and throws it at people would be a far greater deterrent than either them They think about if you were if you were tempted to shoplift and Some lady came in and she was about to fire a little to shit right at your face Are you gonna continue to shop? Yeah, I like it. The security guard. He's either gonna give you a

little bit of shit as you walk out undeterred or he's gonna fucking literally throw shit on. He's gonna shit in his hand and throw it all over you. I wouldn't shop lift. I wouldn't risk it. But this is not, this is not a quick process though. It was for that lady. No, it really wasn't though. No, you had plenty of time to stop her. Yeah, she's, she time to stop her yeah she's she's crab yeah

actually not the wasn't else is i don't think anybody imagine their wild extremes that that's what you about to do well now people are expecting it now because of the rash of feces crime i got a connection that that

that that that that i don't think anybody's waiting anymore to see if people are going to use that method of assault on you. So she'll overpower Starboxes. Well, yeah, she's going to adapt to that. Like now she'll just wear adult depends instead of having to reach for the napkin. So you'll never know. She could do it like in the blink of an eye.

But still it's not it's how quickly can you get one out? It's like I mean... With that level of rage though, I mean she seemed like... It almost was like she was like he's gonna say no and when he does. Well she had to go already though, let's be honest. That's right, she had to go already though let's be on the right me that's why she had it on she she she was like so if you're just saying this it's just to be like let's say somebody is somebody grabs um the last uh snaple on the shelf mm-hmm you're not really do i got one in the chamber just here i'm so pissed yeah like you're not really like you don't have one at the go at the ready to like do

i mean she was she was holding that one Barely back as it was because it was why she has to use the bathroom So I think Other instances But she wants to meet that alive. They want to go out now be a vigilante and that's her thing She brought every night like ready for patrol like she'll like she'll down a crave case from white castle that we should always has one on deck ready to go Coincidentally her super villain name is also brick Well, that's gonna be rough because we got a we got a white castle spot coming up in a couple minutes. Oh doing no All right, I take a quick dyslexia break.

That's right, the dyslexia in the middle of the episode, not at the end. I'm sure that's making all of those people who went and scrubbed right to the end of the episode to see what the dyslexia clue is. They're probably right now going, oh shit! Alright, the dyslexia include some last week war the first clue was Eve of destruction and that was dawn of creation clue number two Hummers father and that was Whistler's mother. And finally, clue number three was the first breakfast, and that was the last supper. And obviously these were all famous paintings.

Connor Shapiro, he was the winner, and he picked up Baron von Flanagan, limited edition baseball tea, and that's what you'll be playing for this week. If you guess all three, and also guess the theme, and include your address and your shirt size, you may win a Baron von Flanagan, Baseball T-shirt, available nowhere else but here through this gameplay. All right, so first clue is Earthy Ming Rock, Earthy Ming Rock, clue number two, sky off gave, sky off gave, and clue number three, ounce popper, ounce popper. Alright, so email in to kmuse2 at gmail.com. Again, include your address and your shirt size. And you may win the Baron Von Flanagan baseball tee. The limited edition one. All right. All right. Let's get back to the show. Get back to Brian Troy. It's a good episode, man. This was good.

You said you have a game. Well, yes, I do an oldie, but one of the, but a goodie, man. This was good. You said you have a game, well, something you tested off. Yes, I do. An oldie, but one of the goodie and the one that people have asked me, at least twice for. At least twice, at least twice a year. Yeah, I fought the law in the law one. I remember this one. You remember this one? This was, it's kind of like one true tree. It's kind of like one true tweet. It's kind of like every other daily life.

Everything else is a variation of these are three things. But these are three, three laws. Okay. Only one is true. And I figured we'd let the humor versus the badge. Was that the name of your podcast? You made it up. I hope we'd officially law on the left. The law on the left. Yeah, that will work on that more.

Yeah, we got time. We got a couple years I don't I don't like that it immediately discounts Troy's being funny because he's like one of the funniest people But you're gonna want to medically assuming that I know I'm not the bad Doesn't mean he can't be funny though Maybe I am though like by reasoning of deduction. I'm like, well, if I'm not the bads, then I must be the humor I guess yeah So I figured you would go against Troy, Brian sure you kind of had a rough go of it. Um, unless we got crushed Yeah, um we can be for a I rose these are some really good ones though So and I didn't want to just stick to America

because I figured you were so up to date on your on your American laws that I would try to make it so many weird little laws everywhere when we were outside he was giving tickets to black cars because he's that racist but I figured we go around the world a little bit because that way of making it even a fair playing field for a prize. All right. What do you think knows the laws better, a detective who's now basically concentrating just on murder stuff, or a guy who breaks laws a lot and has.

Do you still are breaking laws to this at this age? I did today. Have a red light. Could you stop people go to red lights or does that? Stop and caution vigil. You're just solving crimes that your cases that you're given. Correct. You're not, are you allowed to just pull people over and give them tickets?

So why didn't you pull them over and... Wasn't there? Oh, you wasn't in the car with you? Yeah. But you are now in accessory after the fact that you're going down with me. Ha ha ha. All right.

But I'd say Brian's just as good a shot at me because if we're talking about like village codes and like bell jump, like little municipal laws, then... But you got the training, you know, that's true you get you kind of know in your heart like what's real I was saying this is set up to make me lose no not at all I mean I just don't know if you have the you don't have the proper training no I don't think too right you're gonna be but it's not your fault I mean you're you're a layman going against professional if you get one I would consider that a victory. Okay. So I'll

have to get one. I beat you. No, not you beat them. But I mean, it's a good personal victory. Yeah. Okay. All right. So this one will be for sure. I'm not going to love short yet again. How do you guys want to do it? Do you want to do both get to weigh in or do you want each individual weighs in one on three or do you want the ability to both weigh in on one? Well, if we both weigh in, then if we are showing our hand with our fall process, so you want to do it individually? I was going to suggest if you know that like serial killer box every month? Yeah, I was like, I wonder how, like I should get Troy to help me with this.

I know we could bust serial killer, I mean they're fake, but you just got to take some time away from your family. Do you have real problem? That's the real problem. I was jiggie then. Yeah, all right. That thing, are you doing it now? Yeah, I can start getting them.

How has... I haven't opened it yet, because I don't have a partner. It does a detective dream, like daydream, about like going up against a serial killer. I want to say it's daydreams. It would be interesting. If it had a string of women would go missing. Well, like, you know, like the case, like a super-sensationalistic case. Well, like, you know, and like the case, like a super sens satiallistics case.

Like that long. Well, you're not. Oh, yeah, but yeah, I live out there with a Gogo Beach killer. Yeah. There's a serial killer on an island. Actually, what? The Gogo Beach killer of all the bodies are being dropped

on on Gogo Beach over the course of how many years? It's been several years now. So he's still active? Yeah. You haven't been given the K-Shit? No, it's been several years now so he's still active yeah You haven't been given the k-chit. No, it's not where I work. Oh, okay. He was assigned to a gay nude beach In a movie where it hits too close to home I find Mike and man it hits too close to home I find Mike and Megan Oh! I'm sure he just planned to have it and it's not I mean like this way I can get off the beach and catch the killers

Alright come on Guys you should be murdering Mike and Ming today We should join Trying what you guys are doing It's not right Well if they would stop with the Fologus assault of each other

Alright well this's for Troy. Says your guest. Law number one, in Barcelona, Spain, you can travel nude if you're going to the beach. No, you could go naked anywhere up until 2011. Okay. But if you man spread on a train, you're definitely going to jail. Number two, there's still a death penalty in Israel, but it's only for former Nazis. Okay. Law number three, in Germany, incest between consenting adults is illegal, but cohabitation is not if the couple can demonstrate permanent sterilization or

hysterectomy. Do the third one again? In Germany, incess between consenting adults is illegal, but cohabitation is not if the couple can demonstrate permanent sterilization i.e. through hysterectomy or vasectomy. Okay, well that one's bullshit because cohabitation of people who aren't fucking is totally illegal everywhere. Yeah, if I wanted to share the apartment with my sister, I wouldn't have to get sterile, obviously.

I would. I'm surprised you didn't go right into it. I didn't even get it right into it. You sniffed that one out so quick. Because the whole starlight, I get a bad feeling going and be like, all right, you guys don't sign that at least until when he gets a perspective, yeah. As dictated by President Himmler. All right, so it's a 50-50 shot here.

In Israel? In Israel? I'd be shocked shot here, okay? Israel, in Israel? I'd be shocked if they were still a death penalty in Israel, but only performer Nazis. No, I'm gonna rule that I went out too, because I would say that Israel, I didn't even know if they had a death penalty or ever had it, but I would say that they wouldn't want to close the door to the opportunity

to execute any like current day terrorists. Okay. So they don't exactly love Arabs. I'm going to go with number one just because I want to. Barcelona, Spain, you can travel nude if you're going to the beach. No, you could go naked anywhere up until 2011. Yeah, I'm going to go with number one just because I want it to be true because one day I want to retire and move to Barcelona and be able to do that

But as a cop right, let's say you let's say you've been you got your transfer. Mm-hmm. You're in Spain now, okay? You see somebody you see some you see some Tubby and unattractive dude, okay What's that for? What are you doing? I'm going to the beach. Oh, I'm running. You're like, I'm going to the beach. I'm going to the beach. Hold on, man. Let's say you just see a whole bunch of people walking around nude. All they have to tell you is like, I'm going to the beach

and you have to let them go, right? Yeah. So, you're like, if you're carrying a picnic basket or a beach umbrella. Yeah, I mean, like, so like, it's, wow, I'm kind of like a taking a back, it's, it's, But it's also the same country where they're totally fine with laying people run down the street being chased by bulls.

So, I don't, I don't think walk around new to a big deal. I like the idea of trey wearing nothing, but it's hat and his gun belt. Like, it's rolling the beach. Patrol. Maybe the two being naked, runnin' down the street being chased by bulls. I'm just going to be a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a

bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a

bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a bit more of a the law won and now that's just always to make sure everybody know I fought the law and the

law won it's actually won as the number one not w o n that's what that's the pun on the title okay I don't know if people knew that going in but yeah I don't think anyone guessed my title last week either what your title little time it was Johnson being yeah that was a tough one because we didn't play dyslexia no but I thought you know yeah it would be a good one and nobody seemed to care nobody cares make up fucking 400 titles I'm just learning now nobody's fucking. I didn't even notice last week's episode title. What is it Johnson being? So if you do it to lit dyslexia style Reverse being in Johnson, okay. What's the opposite of Johnson? Oh, I got it. Go

supposed to. Yep. You may have got dyslexia right, Troy. Yes. But unfortunately, you got the first question. I fucking want to want one wrong. Really? It's number two. There is still a death penalty in Israel, but only for former Nazis. I'm surprised that they want to want to retool. Yeah, because there's really is our tough mother. Right, man. Wow. Yeah. All right, Brian. Wow. Looks like when I'm moving to Barcelona, Brian. You are you are set to take a big lead here. Just canceled the tickets. All right, Brian. You're going to the bathroom. Yeah, I'm already fresh. Yeah, I could see you're taking this seriously. Mm-hmm. Uh, I'm inspired now that a season veteran like Troy got one. I tripped them up. Yeah, you did.

You did well. Yeah, you did it good. I totally would have said number one. Okay. Ready? Yep. In Arizona, it is illegal to have intercourse with any livestock, but it is legal to have sex with any indigenous plants.

Okay. Like vegetables in a hospital type thing. You know, people who are like a Terry Shabo. You can't build an area. I'm talking on Terry Shabo's toes. No, I believe we're not talking about We're not talking about vegetables. We're talking about things that like growing a vine. Okay. All right See, it can't hump lives stock, but you can hump like a cactus or something. Yeah, you can have you can have some sort of

Sex or whatever you define sex with it with an indigenous plant, you can't have it be something that's reported from New Mexico or something. It would be illegal. It's across state lines as the way that becomes a federal life. Have you ever, I mean, have you ever gotten busy while using like any kind of flowers or any kind of like things that like with petals or like petals on the bed or anything? Like petals like on a bike. Yeah, like, it's like how guys, yeah, they put the rose pedals down and there like,

do they? There's what guys do. There's what men do. Men put rose pedals on beds. Yeah, they've never been, you've ever been inspired to do that? No, I have put certain, the pollen of certain plants into my partner's food and hopes of ending their lives. Millio the Valley type situation. How about you try? You haven't used the roast petals as any kind. How long have you been married?

18 years? Wow. And last week he did it. He told me. No, never. Yeah, yeah. I've never done the Rose Petal thing either. I mean, we're still young.

I'm always that time. That's why we were just, when I was honest, like a live I carried through Troy. Yeah, you'll buy the roses for just tell me how it went. I just, what is your wife do? What does she do? If like she sees like the girls are out, they're not coming back. And she comes home. She's a Rose Petal she I think she's a room special. I think she's a big blow. No like shocked

It was like she'd be like why what does all this over the all over the place? You immediately start cleaning up and you're in bed with your eyes swollen shut because the power I just wanted to make love Are you there? Where are you? All right number two. I gave to you because it's in New York. I didn't want to give it to Troy though because I'm no he's probably busted somebody for this possibly. In New York, you need a license to hang laundry on a backyard clothesline

or three in Cambodia. license to hang laundry on a backyard clothesline or three in Cambodia, Cambodia. It is legal to kick your child when angry in an attempt to combat spousal abuse. Cambodia? Cambodia, yes. I believe if you if you lived in Cambodia, sage will be dead. Yeah.

I would have hunted her into America. So it's number one in Arizona. You can have sex with any indigenous plant. In New York, you need a license to hang laundry on a backyard clothes line or three in Cambodia. It is legal to kick your child when angry in an attempt to combat spousal abuse. Cambodia like since it's like you just assume it's backwards, I feel like that would be the obvious answer, but I think even those guys are like they don't value women getting their

asses kicked over children. So to pass a law like that, they're like, hey, how do we get guys to stop eating other women? Well, I just let them kick their kids and get too frustrated. Is he Kim Bodie where the video is from a couple years ago? When I got my 23 in me back, Edgar was 100% Kim Bodie. I found that. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, the kid is smoking kid. Yeah, I think that was good. I think that one is Cambodia right the whole fact it was more Well don't they have is Cambodia where they have like a gigantic like it's like a thriving like children's sex trade Yeah, I think wait a few of those South-East countries are you if they're not stopping people from fucking them They're gonna stop it from kicking them I don't think they're gonna stop from kicking them, but I don't think they're gonna be like, let's sort of divert the kicks from the women to the kids. If they're not getting fucked, the kids. By some fucking rich tourist,

then they can get kicked by their dads in order to curb domestic violence. No fucking way. That'd be amazing though. Imagine like the city council meeting and someone passing that legislation, being like, listen, I'm not doing something about the domestic violence. I mean, it's from the police. It's telling people it's a legal period.

Stop. We're going to pass a law saying kick your kid instead. Like we're going to try to ease him into not pounding on their face. Well, I think that they realize that you're more, you can't kick a kid so they're like, well, maybe they won't do it at all then. If you have to tell someone not to hit their spouse and it's like look we're gonna care it on a stick for your bro you can't you can't hit it anymore but that kid you have that you don't really care for that much. Right take him with everything

you fucking got. You should run from American voting you can tell people take rage on on their cars. Yeah but you've got a problem we can't control it in America like you know. There's a can should just stop NFL. So what's it going to be? All right, so you're you're you're ruling out Cambodia. I'm saying yeah, no way Cambodia. Okay, so you got a 50 50 here. Okay, so the first one was you can have it is legal to have intercourse with any livestock, but it is legal to have sex with any

indigenous plant in Arizona. In New York, you need a license to hang laundry on a backyard clothesline. Okay, I'm going to also rule out the first one, because I think, again, the meeting where it's like, all right, because if it's a statewide law, this went to the state and they're like, we got to prop people fucking livestock. How do, again, sort of the Cambodia thing. How do we stop on from doing that?

Like, ah, you can fuck a desert com quad or whatever the fuck like, whatever fruit grows out there. Well, it's like, you know what, we do. It has now been decreed, you know, no more sex with livestock and then somebody probably was like, Oh, who are we gonna fuck up? What about plants? Yeah, and they're like, yeah, all right, come on alright, yeah. But we say that that's all written in

the same statute that like it was it was a bright a byproduct of passing the law about the livestock. So in the law saying that you can't fuck a cow, it says, but if you must. Yes, you got to fuck something and you don't want it to be a human right? But you wanted to be still to alive, right? Okay, you know, you're still turned on by the fact that you're You're you're still That needs nourishment and nurturing and you could talk to a plant so you could talk to somebody You know the reason you can't talk dirty to a plant. It's true. Yeah, who's to say yeah? So you can tell somebody you know a reason you can't talk dirty to a plane. It's true. Yeah, who's to say yeah

But okay, so in Arizona you have say a mesquitry which would not be very comfortable But you also have your succulents like you know your cacti just to promote those thorns. They'll shit some people some Pubs may like the feeling you know they they get off on the pain. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah sickos I'm still gonna say that There's a goes as opposed to the people who would pluck the needles off and fucking. Oh hi, bro. I am gonna say though that middle one sounds like a law that was like on the books from the early 19th century because everybody on their fucking grandmother was hanging laundry out and they're like what the fuck there's laundry everywhere. Yeah.

Um, so no, no more laundry unless you have a license and maybe that was your, your laundry mats. Final answer number two. Yeah, I'm going to say final answer is number two. Laff's one, badge zero. Uh-oh. I'm carrying this partnership. Wow.

Yeah, in New York, you need a license to hang laundry on a backyard clothesline. So if I go to Arizona, can I fucking animal? It doesn't get me safe. Just go to Walmart and pick up something green. All right, number three. And then we'll have four, so so you got to get this right? Okay, or else you're you're you're you lose you don't want to lose to me. I lose every game Okay

In whales a blind guide dog owner can be subject to double fines if they don't pick up after their dog Okay after their dog. Okay. It is illegal in the country of Nauru for a woman to pretend to make her vagina talk. Did you ever see that? Remember that guy? I saw a eye. Oh, I see your one.

Have you ever done that? Oh, made our girls with the vagina? Yeah, have you ever have you guys ever done that oh Made made our girls with the vagina Yeah, I'm like on your side now I'm gonna take this sharpie and draw face If I had to bet a million dollars, I would assume that the senior West's reference would come up in a Frank five Only Frank five those are your talking about right now. He's the only even even he might be like who? It's not no way no way no way Frank five no senior wedges, okay But when I saw this law That's the first thing I thought I thought of I was like the senior wedges the other one

He's like it was close. He's right alright, but that's what how I am in this is the other one who's like, what, closing the door. It's all right. It's all right. But that's one of how I am pictured. Yeah. But as we had to tell our kids today that this is what used to pass for entertainment, they're playing video games that are photo realistic.

I walk in the room and I see my kids playing Madden. And I can't tell if it's a real game. And we grew up looking at some fucking guy, moving us down underneath his index finger, pretending he was a mouth. and that guy made it Where we're almost 40 years later. I could pull his name like that Remember one other thing he said All right, that was how it is illegal in the country of Nauru. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right probably not for a woman to pretend Probably not even a country by now to make her vagina talk now

I also took it as to be like her partner could though, okay, you know But she is not allowed to like go down and pretend like something funny like you know She can't do it or she quees since like a burp. She's repeating something she heard on the fumer in the badge podcast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So you got number one in Wales, a blind guide dog owner can be subject to double finds if they don't pick up their dog's mess. Number two, it is illegal in the country of Nauru for a woman to pretend to make her vagina talk. Or three is illegal turn out of gas in Youngstown, Ohio. What eliminate one your pronounce. I'm going to jump right to what I think is the right one. I'm going to think the third one just because

Like running out of gas could create a hazardous condition on the roadway like you're on the highway You run out of gas your car dies in the middle lane So maybe there's something on the books where you can't let your car run out of gas to create that condition Because the second one I can't even fucking get my head around What it is all right? Is that all right? Because I want to know... Some countries are so... I know, I know, but I want to know... You're tricking about what they'll let women do.

I know, but I want to know what happened where they had to make a law. You know? Like, that it was such a great problem that they actually had to have a meeting and say, all right, we have to pass laws to stop women from doing it. It's on the level of people hanging up laundry. Other pack of cars in New York. It's just some jerk off guy who just wants to show control. Or there was like, there was like a,

almost like Lenny Bruce in the 60s. There was some female comedian. Yeah. They had to shut her up so the only way they could do it was the past law saying she couldn't do that anymore. I think it's more likely it was just some fucking dude who's just like, now you can't do this either. Some crude dude, yeah.

Yeah, she ran out of fun stuff to do and then she's like, I know I'll do a little ventriloquism with my vagina. That's all right. He's like, what was that? It's not all right. It's not all right. It'll never be all right. It's all in jail for 40 years.

Proposition 20. It's just been passed. for 40 years. Proposition 20. So you're eliminating in Wales, a blind, a blind man can be subject to double fines. I think you clean up their money. If you weren't from the fact he said double fines because it's not like, because if a normal person doesn't, they pay 50 bucks, but a blind guy, they're going to double the fire with the motherfucking can't even see it. Why are they penalizing him more for being blind? It would be I want to know if you said that a blind person could still be subject to the fine and be like, all right Maybe they didn't carve out that segment of the population when they wrote the law about dog shit But to see that because they're blind. It's a guy dog, it's a double fine.

When they were passing the ordinance, they're like, what about, what about like, see the guys blind? Blind? What the fuck, yeah, double fine. What are we talking about? They get away with everything. They think you know they're blind women, we'll be talking on every giant. Anything goes.

Believe me, I went to no room. It's out of control there. They've been accused of something about it. I don't even know if the second one's a real country. Anything goes. Believe me, I went to No Rupees. Is that a control there? They better do something about it. I don't even know if the second one's a real country. It is, right? Yeah, it's an island, you know.

It's an island, yeah. All right, so you're going to go with another three youngster. The legal run at gas in Youngstown, Ohio. But do you think it was, Brian, just for shits and giggles? I believe it would also be that it sounds like believable enough that some town at some point had someone run out of gas and it caused enough of an issue that the right, you know what? From now on, it's illegal.

All right, Troy, you are on the board. Okay. Yeah. I didn't want it to be. I wanted to be at that one. So, so badly. Brice call a 911 on Tuesday and in the place. Bryce called and I will want to choose in.

In the room. You don't you did. Come back when you can you can drink a glass of water. And also have your pussy. That'll take you back. Then we can talk. Only tear the joker. What are you doing up, coming back?

This is not really an issue. We got to him. He told you that he's alright. Like, I'm saying it out. Brian, what happened? Turned out as to it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's the funny shit you have to do.

That's not it. All right, Brian. You could potentially win this with a clue number. Well, that number, yeah. You get this right. You are the winner. I'm a reigning champ, I get the belt. You get the belt in, I fought the law in the law one.

Okay, so it's over for one second. Did you write the new one? What did somebody send you that? Somebody sent it in a nice, but whatever it was, I altered it to that. I got the inspiration from what somebody sent in. What was the actual law? I can't remember.

He said, the senior one's this thing is the first thing I thought. I can't remember what it was a person that lost that in, but it was altered a little bit to turn it into that law. Oh, that's awesome. For everything, the whole like that's what we had for entertainment. I saw recently Shields in Yarnel. Like do you remember the, you must well, she had Shields in Yarnel.

It used to come after. Oh yeah, yeah, they were mine. They were like mum and shunts shit. well she had shields in your now it used to come yeah Yeah, they were mine like mum and Sean's shit Yeah, and it would be like yeah, it's these mines that would be in like body stockings and one would have like a face with a toilet paper Roll on it. Just pull all the toilet On the bark convie show And then they got they go and then they graduated to their own show. I got canceled very, very quickly though. Yeah, Google shields in your Nellie on YouTube make sure you're high when you do it. All right, Brian. Either you get this right or it to tie is even a tie is a victory for you at this point. It is. Yeah, if I could just

Not lose at something and just sort of like even as even as when I came in. If the old hockey adage is when they when ties used to be come in place in the NHL, they used to play as used to refer to a tie game as it's Kiss and Your Sister. Okay. As evidence earlier. Yeah, you're not a German. Yeah. All right, Brian In Indonesia, it is illegal to masturbate in a room where the Indonesia flag is is hanging. Okay, but you can't You can't

You know what that right? You know what masturbating is? I learned last week word as a reference to it. You get the picture in your head though. It's like, I don't think it means like in a state room. I just think it means like anywhere. If there is like is that your house and you have the state flag or the country flag up there? You better go somewhere else and pleasure yourself.

Exactly, I would anyway. I mean, but if like my partner is a member of the Indonesian secret police and they walk in on me and they're like, they're not upset about the masturbation, but they see the flag flying. Yeah. Like I've got no, I have to turn you. I got it. Yeah. Okay. The no sacking pants law was implemented in 2008 in Michigan. Okay. You know what that sacking pants means? It's what you think. Yeah, that's the thing that the young, the young thoughts. The young rage, you know, where you can see the undies and the boxers and the pants are down.

And you would, I would like to think that somebody, like some of the people I've seen doing it are just doing it because they're like, it's funny. But they've literally got their belts cinched around their knees. Yeah. And how do you move like that? Like let's say you got to do something fast. It's impossible, right? It doesn't look like the guys who do this are doing anything fast. Maybe running from cops.

You know, that's the only thing they would need to do quickly, but it's so ridiculous that like I Might off my own kid that like I might off my own kid. No. Is sister not doing it? I'm just... Why, Sage doesn't have a sec? Huh? Sometimes, but it's only if like she's an accident.

And I'm like, what do you think you're thugged into her heart? Like, ooh, what's that smell? All right, so that's number two. And then number three, in China, it is now illegal to name your child after a Star Wars character. So we got Indonesia, you cannot pleasure yourself if the flag is present. In Michigan, there is a no saggy pants law, and in China, you have a kid, you can't call

it anything in reference to the Star Wars universe. Okay, well it's gotta be rough because so many Chinese names sound like they're from the Star Wars universe. They really do. I'm not sure is Star Wars super popular in China? No, I have to imagine it is, right? What else are they gonna do? I'm going to say the first one is not true because I look at videos on LiveLeak and the YNC and I'd say a good 85% of them are Chinese children dying by getting run over by vans or falling off escalators

and shit, so I don't believe that the country of China treasures their children so much that they're like you can't name them after a Star Wars character. Especially a country that's built on copyright infringement. That's the third one. Right. That's the third one. That's not number one. No, I'm just saying the first one I'm going to eliminate. Okay, you're eliminating Chinese people can name their can name their kids dark Vader. They're allowed to drown the waters in the fucking nearby canal. They're definitely allowed

to name them whatever they want. Okay, all right. So then you have to choose between the no saggy pants rule in Michigan or you know, wanking it or jerk it on in front of the front of the old Betsy or whatever they call it over there. They don't call it that. I believe that Indonesia is a Muslim country and that seems like something like they're against everything sexual. So it stands the reason that you wouldn't be able to jerk off with a flag in the room. But is it enough of an issue? Like how many people got caught doing it?

Or were you raised to that? I wouldn't be opposed to if some were to, if a car just been were to bring that up on the floor today. Like in America? In America? In America, I think that should be, that is a great law. Uh, that is a great law Yeah, that's people are burning flags on the reg, you know, I don't think that

If you can burn a flag in America, there's no way they're turning around and saying like you can't I think they should I think they should outlaw Burning and jerking off in front of a flag All right. Any other things? I think you can do around a five. No, give me a give me a couple minutes. I can find more, but right now we're talking about, we're talking about a wanking and, uh,

well, I think technically it's not supposed to be put on anything, right? Like you're not supposed to wear it as a shirt. You're not supposed to. Oh, yeah, we do that too. Yeah. Um, so, but we're talking. What would a, would a, Jocardan.

Would, would the internet be outraged if, uh, congressman? I can just say yes. I'm sure what it is. We're passing a law you can't mess with in the same room. If they, if they passed a law, you would find nothing on social media,

but videos of themselves jerking off on a flag. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think I have to come right for sure. Oh, absolutely. That's terrible. No, I know. I know. I know. I like that's to say it. That's why I start by can't say you're wrong. Yeah, but I mean, all these fucking hippies would be out. Flower children fucking doing dropping their seed on, you know, on an old glory. Yeah, well, you know what, if you are going to jerk off,

I think you should do it to a four color demon's flag, which you can buy it to you. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's okay. What is the sexiest flag to jerk off to, do you think? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, fanny flag? Ooh, yeah! Oh, man!

Oh, man! Oh, man, he knew what that was. Oh, man. F, I shot it! He knew what that was. Suddenly it's all right, seems current. Turn that tick on me. Wow! Did I just give a tell there, and I've done that or what? I think you've given a tell that you're not really 50 or 1250. All right, let's get back to the game here, because people are waiting with beta breathes, if laps is going to be bad. This could be it.

Yes, I feel like at some point, what year was it that 2011, the Michigan Law? 2008, the no-sacking pants law was implemented in Michigan. I think 2008 was around the time that you could still tell black people that you can't do something. Yeah, but that's not fair. I see plenty of people who wear their pants this way. That is not. Oh yeah, but I mean, but it was like you're talking about like say Detroit. You're talking about like urban areas where I don't think a lot of white kids are doing that. White kids are just as dopey. I see the where you Where you see this man? I can make his their early point. Yeah, you're not allowed to say, oh wait, we're not Michigan.

We're in the surf taco bathroom. Why think it's mostly associated with urban youth. I think it's associated with just popular culture. Like a hip-hop culture. For sure. I'm not saying like no white people do it. I think it's a common between, I think it crosses all racial barriers, the notepads. Right. But if you're talking hip-hop culture, which is where or a gel culture because there's a couple different reasons why they speculate.

The whole state of Michigan, it's not just, you know, Michigan has got more than just urban areas, you know, it's a beautiful state. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, it's a huge, I think I was actually, isn't Dearborn the largest Muslim population anywhere. I don't think they're Sagan though. Sagi Berka. It's a name of my high school metal band Sagi Berka. I'm gonna go ahead, no I'm gonna go ahead and say that it is Michigan. That at some point somebody was like enough of these Sagi pants they got annoyed because they were using it to shoplift shit, whatever the fuck, and let's just do it. Maybe they just did it because it's kind of...

But just some stuffy white motherfucker was like, woo, no more sagging. You know, I'll bitch it, I'll bitch it, I'll bitch it. But it's also, you know, it's not just, you just automatically assuming they're breaking a law of by shoplifting It's just but it's what about just Well, no, I'm taking that was that's one of the theories as to how it started

They used to shoplift another theory was that it signified some sort of gel house thing another theory was that like they were Hand me downs from older siblings so they didn't quite fit in their pants would sag and then it became a style like they Ward is a bad rather than like well Well now it is. Shameful. Now it is and um. A badge of what? It is. No, it's a bad idea. You look like a fucking idiot.

Let me tell you something. You're listening right now and your pants are sagging. You look like a fucking moron. No, it's a way to just take back a little, you know, they don't have to wear their pants like the man says they have to wear their pants. No, you certainly don't. We're a tailor or any fucking normal person who's ever worn pants in the history of fucking pants. But you know what? But you can't do it in Michigan because you're right. It was in Michigan.

There's a no saggy pants law and Brian and Brian laughs Johnson. Yeah. Has just bested the bad. The bad. I didn't get a chance to try and tie it up. Oh wait, no, I got one right in one row. Yeah, that's good. It's two to one. Oh shit. And, um, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,. I would be like, hey, this is like this is the guy who did the crime. He's like Yeah, thank you Where did I leave my gun? I'm trying to arrest women I'm like they can do that we are not in the room

What about that guy he's allowed to jerk off in front of the fly Troy? Would you focus on the dude with this Aggie pants? Right, six. Tell him, Steve Dave. You're the same like that, you control, you always wish to see the world that I don't, I'll get it In a view that you believe, because I move my feet to a different beat than to me to chase this So keep me down, let me in my place, I'm not done yet, I'm not done player, I'll stay In fact, when in your fucking face You say that I'm crazy running, they stop trying The world is something I want to see Because I don't want to look back at me

And tell me, I'm failure So I'm chasing a to a wall we know And it'll just come out to a fucking show Then maybe you get it I hope you keep on saying Don't keep me down, let's put me in my place I'm not done yet, I'm not gonna fly Yeah, I'll spit, you're packed

Nothing you fucking face You say that I'm crazy while at least I try it Wish the world a days ahead but I promise Procrock is in debt until we choose to kill it So what's so that looks has to pop because whole depth thing has just begun You couldn't, can't stop us, can't stop us, can't stop us So keep me down, and put me in my place I'm not trying, and I'm not going to be a fake You're black, right in your fucking face

You say that I'm crazy, right at least I'm trying So keep me down, and for me in my place I'm not done yet, I'm not your liar I'll spit, if I'm right in fucking face It's hell, crazy, well, it means that I'm trying This has been a production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com. Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck