Tell Em Steve-Dave - #518: One Con and a Funeral

Episode Date: May 29, 2022

Walt and Git ‘em party in Orlando while Bry picks out a wardrobe to visit Ohio.

But just the name, I was like, that name just sounds too exotic for me. That's um, shodys. He didn't whimper as loudly or as clearly when he was looved up. Really? How much money did you spend on a long-aid at pennies? No! Tom Steve Dave? Tom Steve Dave. There you go.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave. I am here with Walt. Hello. And I am here with Gidham. How you stacking? It's going man people it's catching on it's gonna be coming nationwide craze. We may have Qon. We're not sure yet He's out in fabulous Las Vegas Doing what we don't possibly a show. Toring, right? Possibly. I think he may be touring. Yeah.

So I don't know. I'm not sure. But he may join us. This is two weeks we've been off. Has it been a lot's been going on these last couple of weeks? Yes. Apologies for not having an episode last week, but hey, Memorial Day weekend.

Now you can kick back on Monday. Hang out. What's the normal activities from a Memorial Day weekend? Is it barbecues or is it, there's that, it should be more reverence, right? It's not like barbecue. No, it's barbecues. America having reverence for the first veterans.

It shouldn't be. Yeah, why did it become, yeah, let's just have barbecue. Is it should be like Sombre day. Yeah, it really shouldn't be like, you know, Frank's and Well, it's like celebration celebratory parades. I guess yes absolutely parades, but like yeah, don't try to make You make it into an excuse to get blottoed in the backyard. I don't need to Yeah, right? Every day's a holiday for me.

So, well, first, I see some grape peeking out from beneath your cap. Now, is this your new look? No, I just got my hair cut today. So when they shaved off all the growth underneath, it's just pure white crypt keeper as fair. It's like a shorn land. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha my wife is that on the, she's standing by. I don't know what I told her. I like, you know, we're recording, I said.

But as soon as I get home, have the just ferment box in hand and I'll rush right to the bathroom. So close your eyes, don't let, don't look at me. Don't look at me, girls. I thought you were gonna say, I thought you were gonna say you had set up a safe for it, in case she didn't recognize you.

Like, I don't know if you ever read those stories, like someone gets a hairdo and like they're, they're dog will let them into the in case she didn't recognize it. Like I don't know if you ever read those stories, like someone gets a hairdo and like they're they're dog will let them into the house because they don't recognize them. I told her I was, I don't wish, dying my hair with their eyes completely closed, maybe dicey, I don't know if I'll be the best dye job, but you know, I told her to just be on the standby

since the episode's over, I'm rushing home and getting right under the, the just for men, beautification process. Now that's a whole hair dye thing. Cause I thought that just for men was just like for mustache isn't shit. I don't have a whole line of products. Yeah, it's all shit.

It's all crap. It lasts for like fucking two weeks and then it's washed out already. It's one of the worst products this week. I don't know why they can't create a die that just goes in and stays in permanently. You ever see these rare cases where people are allergic to the dies and their whole face mutates in the head? They look like they went through some sort of like nuclear accident. I have not, but I'm surprised that I was not allergic to hair dye.

That's true. I tied my hair once back when I was a younger lad. Oh yeah, when you're in your goth period or when you're like, I'm alternative. Ah, I, I, I'm alternative to what? I'm not normal. I have shirts at hot topic. No, my friends were dying their hair, so they're like,

yeah, I'm gonna dye my hair too. I guess the color. It wasn't, but the error of the weird colors is now, I think. Like, people love fucking putting in that pink. Yeah. It looks so fucking horrible, like two days after you die, cause it turns out. Yeah, it looks so bad. You look like Pete Davidson.

What color was it? Let me, I'm gonna say blonde. No. What? It was a midnight blue black. Wow. And it took two days. That's very goth.

Yeah, yeah. It took my father two days to notice it and then he threw a fit. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He's like, uh, 20? Ha, ha, ha, 20? I mean, 19. He's like, that's, that's gonna come out when eventually isn't it? I'm like, eventually, yeah. Why is he crying?

That's just, that's just, yeah, it's just, this is the point of choice. He's a turtle of fizzimo. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, so I went from dark brown to black. Wow. But it's, could you even tell? He could after two days. Yeah, that's like when a woman comes home

and the husband doesn't notice her hair, she gets pissed off. So you should have been mad at your dad. No, I think I was trying to. Finally, you noticed. I was trying to avoid him noticing because I knew he was not going to be happy with it. At 20.

Yeah. Yeah. That's normal though, for a boy of that age to like rebel against his dad though. It wasn't re-balling, it was just that. 20. It was pure peer pressure, my friends were doing it, so I wanted to do it. I'll show you, it was just like greed and other things.

I gotta do it now. I remember we were all sitting down on the porch like with the towels around our necks and the dirt in our hair. Well, you dyed it together? Yeah, that's weird. That's why he was all upset. There was some sort of like weird.

What kind of freak shit is this? My friend Jesse and her girlfriend, Melissa, or Michelle. Nobody cares about the names. I know why you do that. At least there were girls involved. That's what you're saying. Okay. Well, you were, you had a busy, I don't know if it was busy, but you

mean you had a, you know, heavy a week a heavy week, right? Did have a heavy week. I um, I got to go to my first funeral since Rob Bruce. I wasn't there. That wasn't that long ago. Yeah, it was like it was like Rob Bruce, then it was Marco. And then before that, it was my grandmother in 2006. All right, so you had a pretty good long period of pretty lucky string. Yeah, I'm not having to deal with such unsaid events. Yeah.

Well, this one, so first off, and I know you can relate to this. I'm like, okay, it's a funeral, which is formal. So I got a fucking get something nice to wear. And I went over to Coles and I went to Macy's and I'm like, I'm not spending $500 on a suit that I'm going to wear once. I'm just not going to do it. Because my other clothes, like, they don't fit. I can't figure out why. that I'm gonna wear once, I'm just not gonna do it. Because my other clothes like they don't fit.

I can't figure out why, but my clothes that I wore that I went like when I got married and shit they just, they're just not fitting that. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, that's probably going. Right, just stick with COVID. So we decided that I'm like, I can wear black, or I can wear black jeans.

I mean, I'm sorry, jeans and a black t-shirt to the, to the wake. This is a pretty significant moment in Tellum's Steve Dave history. This is, I mean, I hope people understand and recognize what just happened. But for the first time in the podcast history, Brian Johnson has decided that the like decisions will be made in unison with somebody else. We decided what I'm going to wear.

Whoa. Well, no, no, I think Brian decided not to buy it Please wear something so this was the car this is compromised zone Well, I like she actually called me out on it because okay, so I get I get from I go to the gap and I get some some jeans Black jeans black jeans It's 19 regular jeans regular jeans. It's 1999. It is, yeah. That's it.

I'm just like, why don't we go and black jeans again? Not even like black. I've washed. Where's the acid wash section? They have those. They have those. They still play those swing music here. They have those stylish giant holes in them.

Yeah, the ones I don't like, made made where the wearing at the knee and all the freight thread. Yeah, man, what's up everybody? Did you catch sign felt? I think I've been backed up ahead. I love what's up man, Dave. I love Dave Matthews. Cool, am I impressing with all the, all the retail works.

I'm not saying smash that. So, we go to Macy's, so I have, I've actually have regular jeans and a black t-shirt for the way, that's what I wear. And then for the funeral black jeans and Oh, that's what's this is a lot not just more than you're doing wake and funeral. Wake and funeral and the wake was four hours. And like first, I mean, she's not, she's not wrong because when she was like my grandfather died, we have to... this would have been Saturday, last Saturday. My grandfather died, we're gonna have to go out to Ohio for the funeral. I'm not sure when it is. So her mom calls on Monday and says, hey, the funeral or the the the wake is Wednesday.

So now I've got to get sage ready. Got to go to the shop. No, no, no, I had to get ready till I go stay with her mom. So she could keep calling the school. Then there's a story that involves her later on down the road. I couldn't believe happened. But so the Mary Beth says, you know, what I'm talking about the funeral, she was like, I know what you're thinking. Just the

only thing you're thinking is how this is just a giant pain in the balls for you. And I was like, yes, but I'm willing to do this for you. But I mean, who isn't it a giant pain in the balls for? Yeah. I think it's the wrong choice of words, though. I just think it's... It could be an answer. No, that's the wrong choice, too. That makes it sound like he's...

A real dick. Yeah, it's just... It's not... It's not something that anybody really wants to have to go through, you know, to or have to partake in. It's miserable and it's sad and it's, is just a complete and utter downer like to do it. So like, I think it's understandable that, you know, most people are not like, what is the proper response? Or should you be fucking like running around the house like a fucking like you're on fucking Coke? Like you're like, fucking am to get there. I mean, well, that's what I said. I'm like, I was like, I don't like funeral. She's like a fucking like you're on fucking coke like you're like to get there.

I mean, well, that's what I said. I'm like, I was like, I don't like funeral. She's like, who does? I'm like, all right, that's a fair enough point. But so the wake was, the viewing was four hours. And there were a lot of people that four hours is alone. Oh, so this man was touched a lot of people's lives, huh? Dude, I couldn't believe it.

Like when I go, there's no way that many people are gonna step forward to be like, you're gonna have fucking life. You're gonna have fucking, it's gonna happen to me. It's gonna have to be at the PNC, Arts Center. I would love that. You gotta pay extra money

for the VIP parking and shit. I got the fast pass. So now where you you just sitting down and Barry Beth would come over to you occasionally? When it got too much, you could get a break. Is Barry Beth, yeah, she has to do a lot of hugging and talking and greeting at this, or is she one, she doesn't seem like that would be her personality? It's not, but she knew a lot of people there and a lot of people were like, oh, I knew you when you were little. Gotcha.

So there were a lot of old people there. I said to her later on when we did the funeral, like everybody goes into the mausoleum and shit. And I was like, half the people should have stayed in it because they're gonna be there soon. I'm like, there's so many fucking ancient people. And like at the funeral, I was just like, like people are going up, you know,

and they're, I mean, at the, the wake, they're going up and they're viewing the body and all that other stuff. And some of them are so old, I'm like, how do they not? No, it's gonna be terrifying. Think like, yeah, like, oh my God, I'm next. Just like, yeah, but for the fate of God, go lie.

Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah. But yeah, she's not really that hobnob in type, but for something like this, I guess she felt like she's been medicated to so she's a lot better. Really? She had to get medicated for the she was that upset? No, no, no, she's been medicated. No, she's on Lexapro, but she had a lot of anxiety. She was like social anxiety stuff. What's it called?

Cyprio. Lexapro. Lexapro. Lexapro. And then it's helped social anxiety stuff. What's it called? Lexapro. Lexapro. Lexapro. And then it's helped. Oh, tremendously. Yeah, it's good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. So much so I want to take her off. It's just not fucking wise and off to me on it's time. It's better when you were passive. But so we did the we did the wake. That was that was four hours.

And then we went back to our grandfather's house and she's like, I wanna look through his stuff, you know? Oh, hmm. Cause there's something like there's some, I mean, he had some pretty cool shit. But that was if the wake ended at, we had to be there by, by two. So the way I ended it, it's six.

So by like 10, I was like, can we go? Can we please go? I don't want to sit here anymore while you're like on three or fucking crap huddy shit. Like we can come back tomorrow and do it. It's been a 12 hour day, man. Was it just her or were there others? No, her mom was there, her dad, her aunt, and like a couple people dropped by here and there.

Okay. Like after the funeral, they had like a... it's a whole thing. We got second in line for the the procession. Really? Yeah, I've never been in a funeral procession before. We got the flag and you got to go through red lights and show. Oh yeah you second a line in the car. You mean yeah, okay. I don't know if that's like some sort of like prestigious I think it was just where I parked it. Yeah, I think it just matters where like yeah where the car is Pretty much when my godmother died my Her husband was a little to state police. So it was a full like multi with the state police. So it was a full, like multi agency procession, like up to, uh, 287, so it was amazing.

This information is just fucking, like people are like 287. Yeah, and nobody gives a fuck. No one knows what he's talking about. If it just continues to do it constantly, you're precise. I was the only one I was ever in that, like, you could run red lights and they had like cop cars going to the exits and everything stopping cars right so Yeah, the

So the the way it was like I mean again, it was like a bunch of old people and a bunch of relatives and The funeral was what it was Mary Beth spoke a little bit You know a little like I would like, I would say full on Yulogy. It was like maybe two minutes. Cooper, stop it. Who stopped looking me? They're like, they're a barrel leg to him. He's not.

She gave a little Yulogy a couple of his old buddies stood up there and like, that's what I was like. Holy shit, man. This guy is talking about, that's when I was like, holy shit, man. This guy is talking about, he's like, you know, I met Sonny, you know, his name was Harlan Sonny Barker. And I was like, that's a pretty cool fucking name. Yeah.

Right? That sounds like a character name. Yeah, that sounds like a pulp action hero. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who's named Harlan anymore? That's cool name. Yeah, I like it.

But his buddies got up there and the one guy is like, you know, I met Sonny in, you know, 19, fucking 42 or whatever. And then he's talking about how he's like, you know, we didn't get electricity until 1947. And then at 49, we got plumbing into our plumbing. I'm like, holy shit. Like this guy's seen some stuff.

People lived a life. Yeah, like you know the rage you feel in the summer when your electric goes out, like due to a storm or like overload or something, and you're like, motherfucker, why am I living like a caveman? I got that at the farm, because they were like,

oh, yeah, somebody used to live in the attic. And I'm like, I've been up there when I had to go up there in the summer. And it is like a torture box up there. And I'm like, it's someone lived there. I guess you just get used to it. Back there. They were tougher back then, man.

I really think they were. Yeah, man. Just like, you know, this turn, you just ignore it. That's what the it's the kind of attitude they had. I'll give you something to complain about. Keep on the sunny side. I get the big hit back then in the 30s. But yeah, it was, it was interesting watching the people, watching their reactions and stuff.

And then there's some lady there who's like, my daughter's funeral is on Saturday. And I'm like, oh, sorry about that. And she looks she's young, this lady. And her kid's like nine, because like her kid had a brain tumor or something. And I'm like, I'm sitting here fucking so annoyed. And I'm like, I'm sitting here fucking so annoyed. And she looks she's young this lady and her kids like nine Because like her kid at a brain tumor And I'm like I'm sitting here fucking so annoyed that I have to

I got for fucking four hours and this lady's like yeah, I'm gonna be bearing my child a couple days Nice lady. I've had only the kid was real cool like Marybeth lie they live stream the funeral So Marybeth watched it on her phone They live stream the funeral. So Mary Beth watched it on her phone. There's a lot of funerals in the world. I know. I was like, right, I want to watch this shit. Yeah, it's too much. But so we're, we stayed there for a couple days. Mary Beth went through all her grandfather's stuff. So now we have a bunch of like his her grandfather's super into bees and beekeeping and apiary type stuff. So now we have a bunch of bee stuff. Well, you can get a lot of tax breaks. Oh, yeah. Raising bees.

If you start raising bees. Yeah, huh. That's what Q should do. I was going to tell him about it. I found out that you can get huge tax breaks if you open up a bee farm and you don't need, and to quote unquote fall under definition of a bee farmer, you don't need and to quote unquote fall under definition of a B farmer, you don't have to have that many Bs. Really? That's why you hear a lot of these stars have hives and such. I think like flea and red hot chili peppers. Yeah.

And it doesn't matter. Yeah. But they have these huge mansions and they raise a couple hives on there and they consider almost all that extra land to be farmland so they get a tax break on it. Oh, yeah. I wonder where you, I'm sure you know, like I wonder where you get your first bees. Like, you can't just go out and catch them, right? I think you can, I think you can like, order them to the mail.

Yeah. Yeah. I would be very doubtful that anybody would even check on it. You just have the boxes back here. You'd even need the fucking bees. Like they tell you how fucking collecting pollen and huts in your car, like, you put a tape recorder inside one of the white boxes,

like, oh, that people would think that there's bees in there, there would be no way that you'd fake it, would you? Please turn tape over. Yeah. Who's gonna go near them if they can't bother, right? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're very upset right now. They're, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah They have. They hit a certain point where the climate is not really good for that many more so they can't advance much further. But I've heard that with global warming, there's a chance that they could spread further and further. But I mean, in the 70s, you would think that that was like the thing to worry about. I just don't think we were lucky enough that they could get it. It wasn't the swarm. Yeah. Yeah. I remember like, yeah, the 80s, that was like the things you had to worry about was killer bees, quick sand, and the burmina triangle. Like piranhas.

And piranhas. Oh, yeah, piranhas. Yeah. Now, when you were at the funeral, did they ask you to become part of it or? No. Okay, because I was at my ex's grand mother's funeral. And they're like, we need someone to help carry the casket.

Like, what you do it? And I'm like, oh, this is like the most awkward thing in the world, because I'm super nervous about dropping it. Why, you did it by yourself? No, it was like, we were the tall men. They didn't have enough people. So it was like the bare minimum amount of people. And I'm just like nervous.

Like, your ex would never forgive you, right? Oh, I'm pictures like nervous like your ex would never forgive you right? All the pictures like I take a stumble and hit the ground and pops open and I'm like oh no as soon as we got it you know into the back of the hers I was so happy. Yeah now they didn't ask me to do that they had enough they had enough people but you're right it did look like it was not easy to carry. Yeah I've never tried to lift a car before. Yeah, you've got all those different heights and everything. And it's just, yeah. And like I said, nerves make it worse.

Like, and then when we're in there, like said that he got put into a mausoleum. And you see, I mean, you see it sometimes on tombstones too, is the, like, he relies Brian Johnson blah, blah, blah, from this year to this year. And then, like, Mary Beth's name is there and it has the year she was born, but not the year she died yet. It's like yet to be a great...

What, she has a plot there? No, I'm saying that, like, it would be like that. Oh, I was just like, whoa! That is a strange family. She's in the whoa. That is a strange family. You should have detailed. No, it just must be weird to like, you know, like you go and visit your husband or your wife or whatever and you see your name up there.

Yeah, but you're, you have a spot waiting. It's comforting, you know, like, you know, you got your shit organized. You know, for some people, you know, they got their affairs in order and they don't have to worry about what's gonna happen. It's like you know, they got their fairs in the order and they don't have to worry about what's going to happen. It's like they know where they're going to be for eternity. You're right.

That's because that's what this guy did. Her grandfather was like, he went to the church and he talked to the minister, the Reverend and he's like, here's the Psalms that I want. And he talked to the musical director, lady. And he's like, here's the hymns I want. So like, he laid out his whole servants. I know how that can happen. I don't know how that can happen.

This is your problem after I do it. This is your fucking problem. I don't want to think about this. Like how long ago? Or was it like, dude, it was days before. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I thought you were saying like,

10 years ago, he had already, no, he's like, I know I'm going to die. Was it her father's father or her mother's father? Her mom's father. Yeah Then they then the mom they have us you know, the mom has a sister so he had two daughters and then a companion is Little Hussie that lives with him or lived with him and that's like she's real old too

So I'm like what the fuck is that like? We're like, you have this, it's a partner for 20 years, like a companion. She just lived with them. They were like boyfriend, girlfriend kind of, but not really, I guess. Got you. Probably they couldn't get married

for like the benefits and everything. Probably something like that. But, or I don't know, maybe you didn't want to. But that was the other thing when they were talking about his life, they're like,'t know, maybe he didn't want to, but that was the other thing when they were talking about his life, they're like, you know, he loved his wife Margie, and the Margie this and Margie that, that was the wife's name.

But the girlfriend is kind of sitting there, she's like, I would be like, look, he was married for 40 years. I've been around for 20 years, so I should at least get out and get mentioned a couple of times. Well, maybe if you weren't living in sin. yeah, that's true. Maybe the church would have recognized your you're even allowed in this church. Look at him person of flames. A second you walked to the door.

But so after after it was all said and done, we went to the Ohio State reformatory, We went to the Ohio State Reformatory, which is where they shot Shawshank Redemption. It's really close to... It's a jail. Yeah, it's a huge, gothic-looking prison. Very cool. And you could take tours and stuff. You mean you and Mary Beth, why not?

Me and Mary Beth. Okay, all right. I didn't think the... Get a recession. Relocated. I was like, wow. And what was that for? Yeah, he was really think the funeral recession relocated over. I was like, wow, what was that for? Yeah, he was really into the reformatory. Now, this was, what day is today?

Today is Saturday, so this would have been yesterday, Friday, that we went there and checked it out. And when we left, I've been on the road for like maybe an hour, and I get a call in the car and it's this guy. He's like, Hey, he's a spraying Johnson. I said, Yeah, he's like, this is a sergeant so and so middle-town police. I said, Okay, and I'm like somebody broken to the house or did something fucked up. And he's like, I have a sage weed Meyer here with me. What? That's what I saw. What do you mean? I said why? And they said, well, she was just walking around. She walked home from school and then she was hanging around outside the house. You're house? Yeah. And then

somebody, one of the neighbors, I'm not sure who, must have seen her and called the cops and been like, hey, this little girl is walking around. Now, what I, this is totally on me. I fucked up big time. I didn't realize that they had a half day on Friday. I thought they just had Monday off. So when I was sending Edgar to get her, I'm like, okay, here's the times. Here's where you pick her up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, all that shit. So I fucked up majorly by not knowing that they had a half day. And so as soon as he's like, you know, I have sage Weemire, I'm like, boom, my stomach drops out. I'm like, what happened? Like, why would the cops have her? Why are the cops calling me? She's not, I'm sure she's not trouble for something.

But he's like, yeah, you know, he explained what happened. And he said, well, do you want to see her? He's like, because I have, he is, I have an iPhone. And I said, sure. So we put her on FaceTime and she's sitting in the back of the cop car with the seatbelt on. And we're like, Sage, what are you doing? And she's like, relax. She goes, her exact where she goes, relax, relax. I'm fine. I have water.

And she had like a water bottle. Glad you have water, but what happened? And then she just, you know, she was acting like I was the biggest like, the biggest drip for her. Like she didn't wanna deal with me in front of the comm. She's like, you know, almost excusing my behavior. That's embarrassing me. Yeah, pretty much.

But eventually the cop said, like, I can bring her home if you want, you know. And so that's what he did. That's nice. Yeah, I was like, but even after that, even though I knew she was safe, I knew that, because I was speaking to my mother when the cop dropped her off, all that shit,

it's still like for the next like hour, I was like, oh my god, like what could have happened? You know, rather than what did happen. You know, we can pause it. Yeah, I'm glad. Hold on, everybody. We're going to pause for a moment. We'll be right back.

Hey while we're waiting for Walt, we're gonna just roll into a commercial. Spot as we call it in the industry right now. Wow. So and this is Lumin's skin. Lumin's skin. Yep. Let's chat skincare. If your skincare routine is basically you washing your face in the shower with that one shower gel you've been using since high school. Yeah, that is time to level up that skincare game. Do you wash your face with shower gel? Yes, do you? Yeah, well, that's it's the that's because Lumin didn't send you any good stuff. No, I just got the generic man wash Yeah, right like 17,000 in one man wash Good for every part. Yeah But it turns out and I'm that regular body wash you've been using, that you thought was

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Yeah, me too. I got some, but not bad, like not bad. But I had friends that they't like future. I was kind of lucky with the when it came around to the acne. Yeah, me too. I got some, but not bad. Like not bad. But I had friends that they were like wiping their face every day. Yeah. Yeah. But like all that, what was that shit like, oxy-ten? Benzlil proxide.

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Go to lumenskin.com we're just waiting for Walt to walk the dog. So we're just gonna nail you at this next spot, and then we're done. And we're talking about Carav, get up. Oh, love my carav. You're the only guy I know who loves vitamins. Oh, they're great. Now, I didn't love vitamins until I got Carav, and then they come in the package, has your name on it?

Yep, and there's like a little trivia on there, which is, or like, yeah, trivia. Yeah, it's like a Snapple cap on. Yes. Dedicating even a few minutes up to yourself each day can go a long way and caravans here to support how you spend your you time. Carvout time to take care of yourself each day,

whether it's your morning vitamin pack and lemon water ritual, taking five minutes to meditate or unplugging it night. Guess you're talking about phones and stuff. Yeah, that's a mess and poor neon that the blue light gets you. You know, my iPad tells me how much time I've been on the internet. It's like you know, it increased this much and that much. Yeah. I have an average of 16 minutes a day on the internet. Wow. I feel like I'm out of touch with society. I hardly know what's going on. Is that not for the better though? It could be. I mean, because then when I do

go to, wait, you know, I don't want to talk about that during a care of read because it's upsetting. We'll talk care of them. We'll talk about that. Care of a subscription service such as high quality personalized vitamin supplements and powders conveniently to your door every month. Again, take a short in-depth quiz about your health goals of lifestyle. You can personally tell your recommendations based on your answers. You can stick with what care of recommends or change up your packet any time. It's up to you.

And it is so great, it is so easy, it is so convenient. The packages go right in your pocket, so I route the door with you. And during the day when you remember up a pop it open, put them back a little bit of water done. With my regular meds, I have one of those things like Monday through Sunday, hate it. It's such a pain in the ass with with caravage, just boom, here's your package for the day. Yeah, like I said, like you said, it's got your name on it, so it's like, oh, this is specifically for me. Which makes me feel a little special.

Yeah. And who doesn't like to feel special? So for 50% off your first care of order, go to takecareof.com and enter code TESD50. That's for 50% off your first care of order. Go to takecareof.com and order enter code TSE. Oh my God, let me do that again. I'm mangling it. Take care of dot com and enter code T. E. S. D. five zero. Okay. Walt is back. Walt is dog. Yeah.

It's all excited to get out. Yeah. Where were we? We were talking about, oh, we were talking about and we're talking about sage in the cop car and her Her level of confidence that I'm like Seems misplaced at times Where I'm like if you were fine you would went in the house like she knows where the keys are she knows how to get in the house But then I'm like oh shit because Edgar was supposed to it was was she got out of school. She probably got home around 1245. Cop called me a 10 after one. Edgar wouldn't have picked her up until 240. How does it has the cop and have your number? I couldn't figure that out. There's a there's a database that's associated with the address and everything. They've ever received calls or anything that they can look up the phone numbers.

Oh yeah? Yeah. How would he even know who she was? Well, she probably was at a specific address and whoever probably called was like, yeah, I've seen her around, it's their daughter or girl. That's what I think may have happened because I couldn't figure out any other way that they could, oh, also with my outfit for the funeral,

I wore patent leather sneakers. They were black pat and leather. That's what I was most afraid of with her mom. I'm like, is she gonna be like, what the fuck like, what do you think you're going up in the club or something? Did they look like sneakers? They didn't really look like sneakers.

I just looked like pat and leather shoes kind of. Okay. But I mean, usually you wear them with like a tuxedo or something, that black jeans, and I mean, usually you wear them with like a tuxedo or something, not black jeans, and I'm a shirt from fucking Macy's. You just always hope they're someone there who's dressed worse than you are so that they get all the attention. Well, let me tell you something. That wish came suit. Oh, okay. I thought for a second I said shit.

Shit. Who wore an actual suit? And then there were guys just in regular jeans and work boots and like suspenders and shit like that. Cause they're all fucking ancient. Yeah. You know? My cousin's wedding, I was on my way up there

and I realized I forgot my shoes. So all I had on was's wedding I went I was on my way up there and I realized I forgot my shoes So all I had on was my sandals and I was so nervous Actually went we got to we went and we bought black socks So they kind of blended in with the sandals, but then someone showed up in a Hawaiian t-shirt Like a button up Hawaiian shirt and just everyone was just staring at him like flowering. So lay everyone's interest went to that. Oh my god Now I wasn't the only one who had a big week Walt you did a con. Yeah, this is extremely rare. Yeah, I went to Orlando con mega con in Florida. Yeah for the weekend

Which we're actually it wasn't just weekend it took six days in total to do it all to do everything. Drive there and do the con and come back took six days. So we so and get them came with me. My wife couldn't get away. So and I definitely wanted someone to share the the driving workload. So I just I know the water was your wife and then me. Sure. For this story. I had a funeral.

So he showed up at my house 1130 on Wednesday. And then we were only a part for a grand total of maybe an hour until the next Tuesday at seven, I don't know, at eight o'clock PM. Is that why I'm reading a little bit like he's like, we were on 287, you're like, shut up, kiddo. Nobody cares what rode you were on. We didn't, yeah, there was very little alone time on the trip. We shared the room every night.

Right. You slept in it's not in the same bed, but it basically was as close as being in the same bed. Yeah, by Tuesday, I was definitely like, like, you know, like ready to crawl out of my skin and just be like, it had enough, they would have been with anybody though, but yeah, all of Tuesday or just when we hit that New Jersey

border. No, pretty much all of Tuesday You know, that's why I fell asleep. I was just like I was basically just trying to like you know You know just some find some Semblance of fucking like I wasn't in the car and longer just wanted to just go to sleep But yeah, um so it took two days to get there two days to get back. Yeah, stay at the south of the border the first night Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, um. So it took two days to get there, two days to get back? Yeah, stayed at the south of the border the first night. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, right? It's a questionable area. Yeah, there's barely no one there, but it's like... Well, there's nothing around it either. No, and it doesn't look like they've put many money into it since the 70s. Really? Yeah, it was pretty like you know frozen in time for when it was last remodeled, which I have to think would be the 80s, maybe, or the 70s.

$70 a room. That's it. So you know, you're not, rated for, it says four or five star hotel on their Google. Yeah. Press. So that's a long time though. That's a long time to be in the car. I heard things that I don't ever want to hear again. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Noises. Oh. I thought you were going to say Confessions or something. Well, there was like, there was like, lack of confessions, but just some sad, sad stories that I'm like, like man, if we had a gun right now, I'd shoot you and then myself, I'm so fucking, I'm so sad right now.

Just to put you out of your misery. Oh my, you don't know how sad you are, do you? Oh yeah, but some of of the, like, like, I guess it's a good thing, but I've never heard only in movies that I heard it. And obviously it was, you know, it is a performance, but I've never heard men squeal. So I didn't really know what it sounded like.

Aside from deliverance, that's the way it is. Right. And I heard, I heard the voice squealing. And on this trip, then I, well, I never want to hear it again. It's not like it's not like, aww. It's more like, good Lord, dude. Don't let any other human being ever hear that noise come out of your body again. It was apparently only when I didn't have beer, right?

No, no, the squealing was when you were excited by something, it was this strange, unnerving sound. Like the first time I heard it was when we stayed on international drive and we drove past a helicopter launching business. And this laugh slash noise of pure joy. It's just, it was like, was he going on the helicopter or just seeing it? It's just a waste though. It's like a man of his age should not be making noise like this. No helicopters. I'd love helicopters. I like turtles.

I would hear it again later in the trip. When we went to Universal, a wonderful ant was kind enough to gift us some passes to Universal. We decided to go before we got on the road. And he went and when he saw the Simpson's land, he made the same noise. And it's like a, it makes you, it makes me shudder. It doesn't, it doesn't inject a little bit of joy into your heart, how do you be like, he's so happy. It's just weird.

Like, like, you shouldn't, that noise shouldn't know, like, you should never let another human being hear you squeal. Yeah. I don't think, anyway, no. Like, if you did that and your wife heard, would you blank, ready for a divorce? Yeah, I would think that like, she like she would never be able to be ready for

Quaidis ever again. If she heard me squeal, she would be like, it's done. There's not a chance. It would be so unattractive to squeal. Like it was just strange. It's just not normal. Have you been told this before? No.

Well, he's off putting very grizzly man, where there's somebody's like listening to the end of that dude's life. And he's like, you should never listen to this. Right. This is the same level, the same level of like warning of like no one should ever hear you squeal. Mr. Steve Dave. I'm excited.

Yeah, I get it, but like you have to suppress that noise. Don't ever let anybody else ever hear that noise. Now have you been to Orlando before? Probably, yes. I'm gonna say I don't remember. I'm gonna say I don't remember. Yeah, I'm gonna say. Oh, you would have been that young, let's you remember.

So you go down there and you're like, holy shit. I mean, well, you've been there. I've been there many times. So it's not, yeah, it's not the, when you find that there's a place that takes off helicopters right outside your hotel, and you like, I'd be like, shit, the hell, I'm not noisy. That's gonna be. Yeah, we didn't even hear it.

Yeah. Well, I didn't fly a lot of the days because the store, it's just storms down there. So, but again, that's not enough to make, to make those strange noise. Like, that was a side that I don't want to ever see or hear. I didn't even know existed. Yeah. In the day, the trip went fine. You know, there was no incidence of anything that I could,

but the one thing that happened, like, right off the bat was so fucking like, I was like, this is not going to go well. This is not a good omen to start the trip with is we walk over from the hotel to the con and we get to the convention center and it's not at that convention center. It's like, oh, you're not, this is not the section for you. You gotta go and mile and a half the other way.

Of course. And so like, oh, can we walk it? And they're like, well, there's a bus coming right now and a bus is pulling around right as the guy says it. So we're like, oh, we'll get on the shuttle. And like some sort of like eel, like some sort of slippery fucking living eel. My phone must have fucking like slid out of my pocket

and I didn't know it until I got off the bus and as the bus is like slowly driving away, I go go oh shit I don't have my phone but it's only going like two to five miles an hour so I'm like all right I'm gonna take off after it and like do you remember like in the lethal weapon when rigs started chasing down a car on Hollywood Boulevard with no shoes yes you remember? He caught up to it. This bus wasn't even going like a tenth of how fast that car was, that rigs chased down in that movie.

And I couldn't catch a bus that was going like maybe three miles an hour as it just like slowly went through the parking lot. Right. I am running and I am running and I can't catch it. And at a certain point, I'm like, it's turns and it's going, it doesn't stop. I thought maybe it would stop and pick up other people, but it didn't. So I'm like, all right, I'll cut through the parking lot and maybe it will go right instead of left

and maybe I'll catch it this way. I'll like, I'll cut through the parking lot and save myself a whole bunch of real estate. And as I'm cutting through the parking lot, I'm wearing a double shirt. Somebody y'all's, oh, double swim. I can hear it in the background. I'm not really paying attention to it.

I'm like being heckled. And being heckled as I'm running to the parking lot about being a double fan, but I'm not acknowledging it. I'm not, it's in the background as I'm going, like, what am I going to do if I don't have a phone? Like, I'm never going to get my phone back. And I don't know what I'm going to do then and for without the phone.

So, I'm more focused on that, but I then, the bus doesn't go the way I thought it might go. It goes the opposite way, and it's hopeless, I'm never gonna catch it. So I stop. You know, I've just been running out through a parking lot for a pretty long distance. So I'm like, I go, fuck.

And I turn around and that guy who it was heckling now has like a whole bunch of other people, and he's fucking nerds. Right. Start laughing. And I want to fucking explode on them. And I want to like go over there and be like, what the fuck are you laughing about asshole? But I'm like, okay, do I want a confrontation right now? The con has even begun yet. This is day one. This is day one. I'm not even in the convention center yet. And I'm like, what are they fuck? What is so funny that they're laughing?

Do they know? They can't possibly know my phone that I'm chasing my phone. What is it that's making them laugh so hard? So I walk over and they're like, oh, go, go, go, doubles. Like, and I look at like, are you fucking, like how brain-ded are you? Like, this is what you find is funny. I got to this, I thought the comic book community

was more, you know, we're in so like fucking, the confrontation is because I'm wearing a New Jersey devil's t-shirt. There's other fandoms there. There's like anime fandom, animation fandoms, so, you would think the least you would find

would be sports fandoms. Right, I found it so strange. At a comic convention, I don't think you find that many sports fans. Yeah, that's what I mean. It was so strange, but comic convention. I don't think you find that many sports fans. Yeah, I'm trying to be. It was so strange, but I got my son of the composer, and I'm like more like, okay, I can't fucking worry about these idiots.

I gotta figure out how many of my phone back. So then I met back up with him, and he's like, well, I'll wait for the phone. I mean, because the bus is probably coming back around. And the driver wouldn't give me his name. Yeah, that was the other thing too, that was strange. As he were getting off, like he had a conversation with the driver the whole wave over there. Well, as we're getting on number one, someone recognizes them.

That's true. Yeah. They're like, why are you taking a boss? Why aren't you when Kevin Smith's fucking limo? That's what they say. And I'm just like, you know, I'm ready right off the bat. I'm just like, why did I do this? Yeah, get him quick squeal. Yeah, take the onus off me. And as he takes off run and I'm just standing there and I'm like, look at me and I'm like, yeah, I'm not running. But then I got worried, I'm like, what if he gets lost? So I try to keep him as tight for as long as I could.

The huge parking, this is a huge parking lot. Yes, it was. So if he gets lost, I can't call him or anything. And he won't know where he is. So you started running out? No, I walked in a quicker pace. With no general direction where to go either. Well, I could kind of sput your head,

but then it like, it disappeared. Yeah. So we eventually hooked up and he goes, he goes, you gotta call me, because we need Tom's number. And I'm like, I got Tom's number. I didn't know he had Tom mom's personal number. Like he has it like as if it's like, I got it.

Like what are you kidding me? So we find, They're me and mom were, come back out, man. Yes, we get mom, we get mom on the phone, mom comes out, gives us each our pass,

takes him inside and I'm like, I'll just wait for the bus. And sure enough, but we're getting off that bus though like they had this long conversation Well, of course the bus driver is expecting a tip though It was in this long conversation Of course fucking get him doesn't fucking give him a tip, but that but don't want to know his name though And so you want to know his name. I just wanted you to say I could say you know have a good day your name Okay, and he tells him when he asks, what's your name, sir?

He goes, not important. I feel like such a mess, all right? Yeah. But so I gave him the tip. And I thought maybe that would go, you know, maybe a little ways of, maybe he would find the phone and hold on to it. But it turns out like nobody even saw the phone.

So he walked onto the bus and got the phone, nobody even knew it, right? No, the driver didn't know, but the people on the bus did because when I kind of recognized the bus, so I started calling it. As soon as the I saw it, I called it a couple times. Call the phone? Yeah. So as soon as the bus started pulling up, I called the number and I was like, hey, did anybody find a phone and people like, yes, yes, here it is, here it is. So grab it right inside. And that was so that that's a rarity. Yeah. To get a phone back.

That turned out pretty well as well as it could have happened because I thought for sure, I was just like, what the fuck am I going to do? How am I going to fucking replace the phone now? Well, I'm in Florida. Well, there's so much like stuff on it that I would do. You just got it too, right? Yeah.

So much artwork and stuff that I was just like, I don't know if it would be saved, you know, somewhere else. I don't know if it would, if I put it into the cloud or whatever, so much technical shit that I was just like beyond like fucking annoyed, but thankfully that worked out. And then, you know, it comes fine. It was a lot of wonderful listeners came out, you know, without them, I think the whole fucking weekend would have been a fucking disaster in terms of like trying to sell books. I think growing people who wrote books were the listeners.

And a lot of them already had it ready because they had a page on GIF. So it was amazing. That is like that kind of support doesn't go unnoticed. And we did a lot of, I ate them my first shonies. Oh yeah, yeah, how does some shonies? I thought for sure it was gonna be like Cajun, but it's actually pretty plain.

Yeah. Yeah. Cajun. Just a name. No mention of Cajun. But just a name, I was like, that name just sounds too exotic for me. That's a shonies.

They're really nice waitress. Yeah, we did Denys out of the six nights. We did Denys three. We did Friendlies twice, Showties. And maybe four times Denys. Yeah, so we did it on the way up and then the way back. So which was good because you don't want to introduce, I took a little walk on the wild side by going to Shownies. I was not gonna fucking risk introducing new food

into my diet on the road. You don't know what's gonna happen. Yeah, you don't wanna fucking be in a hotel room with a man that you barely fucking, you had no idea fucking squealed little now. You're gonna be, now you're one of your weakest moments. He's like,

I brought Pepto with me just in case, a full box. But while the food was consistent, the one thing that really varied is the employees. Cause we walked into the first pennies and she opens up with, I'm having a rough day, I'm like a trotter's wrong. Yeah, that's how she owned up with it. And she did get the order wrong.

And we didn't correct her, just like, fuck it, it's how she owned up with it and she did get the order wrong. Yeah, and we didn't correct her or just like fuck it, it's fine. How? I mean, I can have it a rough day. It's not that busy. But like knowing like ahead of time, like I'm probably going to get your order wrong, wouldn't that make you more conscientious? I kind of appreciate it, the honesty. It's like, you know what, I might get the order wrong, so just so you know. So it wasn't a shock. It wasn't like it.

Don't be giving me a lot of shit. But you're writing it down on a pad. Like, where does the chance to go wrong start? Well, you know what? It went wrong. So it did. So in our favor though. Well, yeah, that's in the eye of the beholder. He ordered chicken fried chicken and got chicken fried steak

and but was charged for chicken fried chicken And that was enough to fucking make him float at a fucking denny's use just like so happy Get over on the man you fucked over Denny's I saw their corporate earnings the other day every every meal at this guy got was to look exactly the same Every meal that this guy got was to look exactly the same. Undescribable kind of, don't know what kind of meat it is, covered in white, almost like... Sossage gravy.

Oh, sausage gravy. Yeah. Almost look like watery mashed potatoes. Right, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. Every single dish drenched in this nasty watery white goop. Can I have a ham sandwich? Something like gravy on top of it.

That was great. You could tip your fries in it. It was what I had mashed potatoes with it. It went on the fried. It went with everything. Do you eat that white gravy at home that much? No. I'm gonna eat it at every meal on the road.

What was either a burger? A burger was some kind of brisket on because everything down there has brisket on it for some reason, which is not bad. But... And then the... And what are the odds if you're taking your laying bets? How much would you go in on does get him snore does he not snore?

I would lay out I would probably like your life depends on it I would be like he snores. Yeah he does. Was it tremendous? He does some yeah he could fucking take the pain off the walls. Oh you're not here. I'm not saying I don either, but he also did this thing early on when I noticed when he didn't drink before falling asleep, he would always go out and buy the tall boys. No, no, no, nobody had the tall boys. Oh, whatever. Well, okay. So then you made up for no tall boys with like six cans of beer. It was a four pack. It was a four pack. It was a four pack in Nadi ice. Because nobody knew what Nadi, daddy was. And then I finally found a circle K that had tall boys in it.

And that was like, oh, this is the greatest thing in the world. Wait, Nadi daddy and Nadi ice, there are two different things. Yes. Okay. Nadi ice is the 12 ones. No, Nadi daddy is there eight ABV beer. Nadi ice is the 5.9 and then Nadi light is the 4.3.

So alcohol comes. Yes. And there is a stage of his sleep where it can only be described as the sound of an animal whimpering in a fucking trap. I'm not lying. I'm not lying. I remember waking up at like four o'clock in the morning

and being like, what the fuck is there like a fucking chipmunk? There's a fox in the snare. Chipmunk in a fucking trap. A trapped in a mouse trap is something. He was whimpering and I noticed he didn't whimper as loudly or as clearly when he was lubed up with some nadi. Really? Yeah, I think he was whimpering in his sleep for alcohol.

Because you didn't have it that night? Well, he stopped in South of the border, yes. So there was no chance. I didn't realize I could have stopped probably at any truck stop and picked some up along the way, but it just didn't enter my mind. So, but when you got down to Florida, like CBS had it, Walgreens had it.

It's weird in other states, like you sell alcohol and you come to Jersey and it's like, oh, you have liquor stores, like what the hell's that all about? And there was one liquor store, but like I said, they didn't know what Nadi Nadi was. And I was just confused, but I was like, okay, I'll just take your Nadi ice. Anything mom was going to be there, you ended up going. He showed up for Thursday, which we weren't there for Thursday and half of Friday. And then he had to go back to wherever he was filming something. And yeah, but I feel bad though for getting them because I feel like if he had gone anybody

else, he would have had like a much more tremendous time. Like if he goes with me, he's having a much different experience. Like with me, it's like Khan, friendlies back to Rome. Immediately back to the Rome. And you're in one of the most fun places in America. And you're like, you can watch it from the window. Watch other people have fun.

I think yeah, I think if like if mom was there or if if Ming were there, that he would have had like a tremendous little vacation experience. And I think that he was kind of saddled with a fucking y'all come on. I had a blast. Literally had a blast. It was a high point of my life in the past couple of years. Oh, that's nice to hear. I mean, I didn't know he collected,

which kind of, it makes total sense. Now I've ever heard of my wife and I was like, yeah, I could see it. How much money did you spend on a long-eated pennies? Ba-ah. Ba-ah. Ba-ah. Ba-ah.

That's 20 bucks. So do you have any, that long-eated pennies. That's 20 bucks. So do you have any that elongated pennies $20 spice? Do you know how many you can just sound it like he had like 5,000 trees in his pocket as he walked, but they were just filled with elongated pennies from every machine he walked by. He would throw in a dollar or two dollars to get a penny. That was the kind of thing we did when we were like in fifth grade.

Like he went on a school trip, you're like, oh, let me get one of these pennies. The elongated penny machines are invisible to me. And he would find them everywhere that I would stare right through them because I could give two shits less if I had elongated pennies. Yeah, because they don't have one in the Harry Potter world

because it destroys the illusion of Harry Potter having this modern penny machine in it. So you have to go to the main gift shop and there's a Harry Potter machine in there. So he's like, he goes, oh, go look for it for you while I was trying to get pennies out of another machine. Who's that? Who's that to say that?

You, I did? Oh, okay, yes. When I went and looked for it, yeah, I couldn't find it and then you walked in immediately. It's like, it's right there. It was staring right at it. I don't know, They don't have one. Let's go.

And you know, like, and I hear this about like teenager suffer, you know, a lot, I think and probably really any age probably suffers from this, but it was hammered home to me on this trip. How much social media can influence and affect other people's state of mind, because the amount of people who texted me, they were like, oh my God, I'm so jealous, you're in for it right now, it looks like you're having the time of your life.

And it's like because you posted one picture, like one millisecond snapshot of like him like posing with like a fucking with some fucking ass clown who's dressed as Doc Brown. And, and, and, man, the man, like it was his life. Like he is full on. I gotta do this. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, It's weird, though, how people were just like, like thinking that it's like we're at, you know, fucking, what's like with big huge party?

Was that like that party that, like, Coach Schellers? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm just like, it's fucking 95 degrees. Every line is 75 minutes long to ride something. There's so many people. It's days fucking five of a six day trip and I haven't been alone once

in the last fucking six days. It was good time, but like yeah. I'd say that hotel lobby that one time when it was pouring rain. But yeah, so like it is weird that like, yeah. I think that hotel lobby that one time when it was more and more random. But yeah, so it is weird that like, you know, how like a simple snapshot in everybody is like longing. Like you're so lucky.

Yeah, it's kind of like, I wonder if that's how like, you know, like kids and teenagers, like when like, they see postings of other people. Like, I think I could get them in a bad state of mind because like, oh, I'm not involved. I'm not doing that. Oh, they look like they're having the time and the best times of their lives.

They see the smiley face, but they don't hear the whimpering in the wheel. Yeah. Yeah. And the night terrors. I think that's a big thing is like people who create this tapestry of like a perfect life online. And then when you look behind the curtains,

like peak behind in, it's a lot of whimpering and fucking squirreling the curtains and squirreling. But overall, I know, like I said, they ants who came out with the wonderful gifts, just so many gifts, so many like wonderful comments and likes at the gifts that were offered in the tickets, just so nice. And, you know, I mean, like, I'm sure like, you know, when what you said, like you just had the best time in the last couple of years of your life, you know, I want, I don't want to give anybody's name, who, because I think a lot of people,

I remember, I'm, we're like, don't say my name on the pod but you know the guy who'd forgive that us those tickets you know you should you should thank him verbally on the podcast right? By name? No, of course not I just said don't put it. Okay, well I'm just gonna make a sure. Thank you again. Person who name you know. You know who he is, yeah. Yeah. And there was like other people who worked at the parks too. Like, you want passes, you want passes? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you go down there and it's like, fuck the con, I just want to do all this other stuff. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But yeah, the con was packed. It's just COVID breakout. There was a COVID breakout there? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Thank God me and get them. We're fucking in our rooms. Not, you know, not. Colbert breakout there was a cold it break out there. Yeah really yeah Thank God me and get them were fucking in our rooms. Not you know, not After party He said there was a hundred forty thousand people there Hundred and forty thousand But it was it was just so much to see just sitting at your table Like just walking oh, yes Yeah, he was overwhelmed that he crashed one of the nights

Or he was so grouchy and so pissy to me and he's like I had enough To me, I'm just like this is the best one of the trip Like to me this is more exciting than, any attraction, as I see him fucking going into like, he's crashing big times. I'm overloaded. I'm overstimulated. I try to tell me, I'm just like, oh my god, you for the word of this happened. I win. I just had enough. I think I pegged the moment it was. There was big storm cave through where a friend big storm comes through and I wanted to go outside. Friendlies wait to want to take a how long the friendlies waits were on international

drive. International drive. I'm going to go ahead and say 90 minutes. Yeah. And every time they're like, I wait it. And every time we call a name, Walter, I think they left. I think they left. I think they left. I think they left. I think they left.

I think they left. I think they left. And so they say their name really low that they left. No, but I want you to go outside and take a picture of the storm, like a video or something, because it was a big, big storm. Everybody got like the tornado warnings on our phones. And it was just this group of people

standing in front of the door inside the lobby, and they wouldn't move, and they just had no situational awareness that people are trying to leave this place. And I just, I just, like, I'm done. That's it, I'm done. I'm going into the storm. Yeah, yeah. Like, he just,

because like as soon as the check came, I'll go get a car, and I'm just sitting out in front of the friendly. He's like mad dad at this point. Like I think it's like I'm the I'm the fucking like I'm annoying him. No, no, no, no, I just I want it to be alone. I just want to be alone for like a couple of minutes. Join the club.

He says a couple of minutes. You say three days, please. So yeah, that, that, that, you know, when we're on the way back to the hotel, I'm like, I'm sorry, I just had enough. And I want to say too, and you know, mom and Blue Juice, they run a great ship, and they offered to pick up Gittoms' room when he found out, you know, Gittoms was coming, but I was like, you know what? I don't know if you're going to make enough.

No one knows what you're going to sell this weekend. So I was like, it's fine, we'll share the room. All right. Fine, I wonder if you can sleep in. Okay. Do it does it inspire you to go back? Get him like, does it make you want to go back? I hope so.

It's entirely possible. Yeah, I don't know what he did all that differently than here though. Oh really? Rethi, you really at the end of the day? I mean, he stays here and drinks and watches hockey, you know, after hours. And that's what he did there. He did nothing different.

I did. I was like, I was seeing everything. It was just like I said, it just. Oh, the cosplayers. Yeah. He saw some, he saw some cosplayers with high socks, which is his thing. Really? Oh yeah, he loves high socks. Like those tube socks or with high socks, which is his thing. Really?

Oh, yeah, he loves high socks. Yeah. Like those tube socks are just high socks in general. Yeah, just, you know, knee socks is always a fun one. Yeah, especially if they are, stripes are always good. But there were some people that should have been, uh, should have been cosplaying. Oh, that's bullshit. Oh, yeah, you can't say that.

You can't say that. But he was very disappointed with what I considered the best cosplayers that I saw, which was there was a guy who looked just like Scotty from Star Trek. He won't know. Oh, it was like who the fuck is Scotty for Star Trek. And there was four people. They were as super market sweep teams. Oh, and I'm like, do you just, it's the worst game show of all time.

But he doesn't have enough awareness know when somebody comes up to him and like recognizes him while they're also in costume though. He doesn't have enough to be like, my favorite costume was this. You don't have to tell a people that like what their favorite costume was and saying that you don't like their costume basically.

Oh, you're telling people like, this is okay, but. Yes. How'd you dress like this guy? No, I preface it that you're, I'm like, you did not. Oh, you're telling people like this is okay, but. Yes. How'd you dress like this guy? No, I preface it that you're, I'm like, you're, you're out of your favor. But my favorite is, but for me, for me personally, you'd need to say that. Like it would be something that could have been a contest, but for me personally,

that was what tickled my fancy, it almost made me squeal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got mad at me because I fucking had the audacity to fall asleep on the road on the on the on the trip back I had the other half and he could listen to whatever you want it and he'd but yet he fucking and I said put on Whatever you want but if he's gonna put on NPR and you have to know I'm gonna fucking fall asleep then. That's what you decided on, MPR. I figured on PR, it's smart, it's funny.

It loves you and to sleep for sure, yeah. But it had been over. And when you're sitting next to someone it's like low-key snoring. It starts getting, I was getting like drowsy. And I knew I shouldn't be drowsy. But it's like, it's true. Yeah, it's like hearing that someone else sleeping

it's like, it was like, I had like the window down. I was pinching myself. I was trying everything I couldn't stay awake. It was like, I was trying to sleep for all this shit. I told them, I told them they can't go to his go-to to keep himself awake on the road if you remember what his go-to was.

No, I told them to decide the road and masturbate. Oh, that's right. That's right. You were on fucking 295. Hold over. Oh, that's right. That's right. We're on fucking 295. Hold over. You're snoozing. He's like going nuts on himself.

But we were going through Washington, which is really, that's where we switched a lot of the roads. It's Washington D.C. So, like, you know, he was asleep and it was like a sudden it was hitting me. And I just like, sudden it was hitting me and Welcome back So fucking condescending Imagine that falling asleep for an hour He's supposed to be the navigator that did you guys find because I found this driving out to Ohio and back

I don't know if I'm getting old or I'm just older already, but I'm like, why are people driving like this? Oh, every all the time. Like it was, I was trying to keep the cruise control on like 80 to 82. Like that was like the comfortable speed and then just people would just pull right in front of you and slow down and like, come on. Back off the thing, but.

And okay, now they move. Okay, back on, now with some truck ones too. It looks like they move. Now with some truck wants to, it looks like he's trying to pass the truck neck that was in front of him, but he's going like a half mile over to speed that other truck's going. So I'm like, So they're just like locked.

They're like in lockstep the whole time. What the fuck are you? I'm like, oh, yeah, that doesn't really bother me. Really? Can I drive here? Yeah, I'm probably that driver. Oh, then I'm like, what the fuck is this guy doing drive here? Can I probably that driver? Oh, then I'm like, what the fuck is this guy doing?

Yeah. I'm probably that driver. So when anybody around me is doing that too, I'm just like, oh, I know what that guy's doing. He's doing what I'm doing. Hey, brother. Yeah. I was trying to go faster than every other lane

and just do a nice steady speed. And yeah, it's just some people just want to stop that. He was fucking shockingly. Can you imagine this? And yeah, it's just some people just want to stop that. He was fucking shockingly. Can you imagine this? He was outraged by a cosplayer costume, that was too sexy, he said. Too sexy. Can you imagine?

He was absolutely like angry about it back at the room. I didn't see it. But somebody else saw it and they said that they were upset by it. They said it was kind of outrageous too, but I could not believe that he was like this Puritan of where he was like it was wrong. It was across the line. No, why did it cross line? Who were you afraid of?

It was sexy Jesse and Woody from Toy Story. Okay. And it was pretty much they just had underwear on. Right. And it's just like there's something that shouldn't be sexualized. So you're saying that it's not that it's too sexy. It's that the source material is not up to you. Like like as a kid seeing them approaching, you'll be like, Oh, Woody and Jesse. And then

when they saw them going Woody. Oh my God. For real. Yeah. Like there was underwear in the front, but not underwear in the back. Like that's how. But what do you do? No, there was both, there was both girls. Both females, but one was playing Woody and one was playing Jesse. And one was playing Jesse. Yeah. That makes me want to like search out pictures on the internet to check them out. Like not, not get all offended. Where you're like, oh, like it for you, what did it touch a personal place where you're like you remember that movie fondly as a? How long did it come out? That was the 90s, so I think it was in college when it came out.

Okay, so it's not like a childhood thing. Yeah, I think it's just that there's certain things that like you just shouldn't sexualize. Like, and it was, there was a lot of kids there. There was a lot of families there, you know, and it was just, it was like bothersome. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah, just like 99.9% were done in very good taste, you know, and then there was just some that was just like, like, I wanna wear my underwear today and I'm just gonna throw a, Was it like body paint or just a sexy costume? No, it was, it was from the waist down, it was just a pair of underwear, like a thong underwear, and nothing else. Maybe she...

Can't shame people these days. No, no, no, he didn't. He didn't, he waited to the room to fucking unload on me. To shame, but he said it was my fault. No, but like I said, someone else... I don't know if he had to, I want to his fifth natty at that point. He started fucking... No, no, no.

When you're wearing your thong, I'm out of walk. Although that's a walk, I'm out of liquor store. He's like, why don't you buy two? Because you're gonna drink two eventually. Yeah, it's like, why do we have to keep going back to the liquor store overnight? We have a fridge in there. We're there for three nights, buy enough for three nights.

Nope. Can't do it. Because I'll drink it all, he said. No, it's temptation, it's temptation. It's temptation, it's temptation, up and I will. It's temptation. We can eat another Not that I will. It's temptation. We can eat another beer just quick. Get rid of the snorning. Wow. That sounds like a, that sounds like a trip, man.

Oh, it was, it was, I, it was blast. I had, yeah. Your lady couldn't get out of work. Now, well, then she also had to watch my niece, which she had promised that months ago, because her brother and his wife had a very special thing that they had to go to, so she wasn't gonna bail on them. I'm good, sure. And then she would have to get out of work too.

And plus, when he stayed at, I didn't know he was gonna stay at the con the entire time. He never fucking left the blue juice table. I did. Well, I'm talking about, like you would walk around for like a two seconds and then come right back, but he could have, he had the whole day to himself.

My wife assumed, yeah, my wife assumed he was just gonna go see the sights and I was like, no, no, he'd just stay at the table the entire time. But they made a, they made a sign for me. Tom, he made him a placard. Oh yeah. Like that he was a guest at the,

and like they tweeted about it. So I'm like, well, I'm like obligated. So oh, yeah, he loved it I'm just fucking head was fucking fat. Oh, yeah, you know, full of grisble. He's sitting there fucking judging Woody and No, no fat no fat because people were like like wanted a picture with him. That's what I mean He starts getting a full full of himself And the guy was doing What and he's like he's you know, I what would sign something in the and a full, full, full of himself. And what guy was doing? And he's like, you know, what would sign something in the, the blue just guys were like,

hey, I don't know if you know, but get him worked on that book as well. And get him laid out some fonts for me. So we gave him a credit in there, like production assistant. So like, he would, you did it as well. You know, I worked on the book too, you want me to sign it? Mr. it. Oh

Oh Because I felt a little I felt a little less embarrassed that I was saying it then having somebody Really? Oh, I think it's much more it goes down smoother somebody else. I just I was definitely. Oh, yeah It's not smooth either way, but like do you want me to sign that is like, but you know what the reality was that 99.9% of the people aboard the book were Were listeners, so they more than wanted you know, they already wanted it. They wanted it. Yeah Then I brought down some 8 by 10s and I forgot them except for Sunday So then I was selling eight by 10s and I was signing Self-of-the-

So you forgot them two days? So then I was selling eight by 10s and I was signing myself. Okay. So you forgot them two days in my bag during my bag. Uh-huh. Yeah, so I forgot to bring them to the con. And it was like the most shameful, most like embarrassing moment where like I want to crawl up into a ball and for him as like somebody came up and wanted something. Tom, are you you gonna pay me? So somebody came up wanted something signed and

It definitely listener because he had he was objected out and all sorts of like TSD stuff But you know because is he what starts a walk away game? He's like hey, do you want eight by ten of me? Oh, I guess I'm guessing the answer guy looks at them and he's just like, I don't, I already spent my budget at money for the con this weekend. And there's that long pause. Like I say, both, like it's getting them doesn't know what to say. They're just staring at each other. They just turns around and walks away.

And I said to him, I was like, don't ever do that again. Don't ever do that again. Well, we had taken wages. Painful. We had taken wages that I before on how many I was going to be able to move. So you, so you pushed your dignity aside in order to try to win a bit. I had four. I thought he would sell four. Timmy had four. Yeah, Timmy Hill. Timmy Hill was down here too. And I said, what do I say? You said three. I said

two. Yeah. So he wanted to push. He wanted to get to that magic five eight by 10. What are the eight by 10? What like what do they look like? It was the one of me standing in the water with my safety gear on for a big foot And then the one of me as the Dwarf in the golden girls rewind like staring up a pondering right yeah So holy cow, I was like I should bring these down I just bring these down just in case and you had them made up now Do you send them out to people just for the hell of it? Well, we have just wondering how are what are you gonna do with the rest of them?

They're almost all gone now. They're almost all there. They were ordered like over two years Yeah, we had a water we had a water barren ones and there was a price break when you hit a hundred So we were at like 75 and I'm like, okay, I'll just get 15 of this one, 10 of this one and to bring it up to 100 because then it would actually be cheaper than buying 75. You were putting them in the ebay auctions. I'm giving them to people.

Yeah, back in this, when we were working at the store. Yeah, as a little incentive to buy whatever product we were selling. And I'm not sure if you saw the photo they used of me, it was me and the world's largest Adderon deck chair. I didn't see that. Okay, yeah.

You didn't miss much. Yeah. No. It was not seeing that. It was one of the many truck stops we stopped at. It still does sound more fun than a funeral though. Oh yeah. I would agree with that too.

It's on the last day. Q never called in, huh? Q never called in. Ever texted in? Nope. He's in Vegas, baby. Sure, whatever is going on is going to stay in Vegas. But I'm on stage. I'm entertaining the masses.

Listen to them squeal. Yes, I don't know if you guys have any Memorial Day plans? Yeah, I know you know, you'll be barbecuing in honor of the veterans. Now, I didn't even know it was Memorial Day weekend. I was shocked that the month was over. It's flew by. Did it though? Yeah, what about you?

I got nothing. Yeah, just at home. Just be a nice, you know, a reserved memorial date in reverence. Yep. Silence, vigil. Yeah, watch some pr- Save and Primate Ryan or something like that.

Mm-hmm. I saw your Rangers last time. Yeah, but they're gonna win tonight. I'm gonna put it. Ain't there any other way how many ads? That was it, we did it when you were talking- Oh, well. Oh, okay, well, yeah. Multit it when you were talking to the dog, so.

Okay, well, multitasking. Very efficient, yeah. There's only one thing that's left. To say, Tom Steve Dave. That's it. Tom Steve Dave. There you go.