Tell Em Steve-Dave - #524: Cletus’ World

Episode Date: July 31, 2022

Bry witnesses a savage attack, Q has a new best friend, are cats aliens?

He does have a memory for grievances, this might file. Not to be a pussy but I was like... Kind of being a pussy? Alright, fine. So to be a pussy. You want some? T-T- You want some tea tea? Tell them Steve Dave. This is fucking bullshit! Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

I'm here with BQ. Hello, here with Walt. And special guest. Frank V. Hello. Hey Frank. Hello. Here with Walt. Hello. And special guest. Frank five. Hello. People. Hey Frank. How's it going? Is a is a can Frank five? What does Frank five need to do? To serve Sunday Jeff as the favorite resident. It'll never happen. Is he too weird? It's not a competition. No. Yeah, it's not a it's not a competition. No? Yeah, it's not a popularity poll.

That's like hot. Sure, I kind of came in like eighth. I would argue that Sunday Jeff is the single most popular resident out of anybody. I mean, how do you take that down? You know, just give a more air time on the mic because he has such a limited amount of air time Easy to love Sunday Jeff So the camera is bouncing a lot. Do you see that on your end? No. Like when you guys move like my whole screen shakes. Okay, so if we must be touching the table a lot and you're not touching

table because you're stationary like. Yeah, I don't know what's going on but it's... We'll try not to touch of table. All right. He was like, I can't work under these conditions. This is fucking bullshit. Professional. We didn't have a show last week. That was my fault. I have to take responsibility.

I went out to Ohio. Who doesn't love going to Ohio? Almost everyone. Yeah, nobody heard. I like Ohio. Do you? What are you playing there? Every time we go there on to no, we're not. We might be. I don't know. But every time we've gone, like I've had a good time in Ohio. Yeah, this one. Casinos there. Well, like you go to Ohio, you get worship like a God. I go to Ohio. I got a move furniture for two straight days sweat and like a fucking pig Yeah, that's under those conditions. I wouldn't go to Ohio But I wouldn't go anywhere under those conditions I'm soft man. Oh dude, you know what I know like I revisited my soft side It was it first it was blazing it was like it was hot hot was hot here too right like a hundred degrees every day I heard

Easily yeah, yeah, it was insane. It was a good 90 there and we Mary Beth and I went out to here's the plan. Here's in my mind. Here's the plan Tuesday we leave Wednesday we got there to her parents house where she has a couch and a couple of other things that she needs to get? And you need them for your new house? For this new house, yeah, so we don't have to buy a whole bunch of furniture. Her parents have nice stuff.

And after that, after we load up that stuff, the plan is to go to where her grandfathers, who just died. And he had a really nice stuff, so so we're gonna get some shit from there. Can I just ask a question because it sounds like you didn't have a great time. Right. Did the possibility or was it ever bandied about it? Like why don't we just hire a moving company? Well, we did hire a pod like where we bought like rented one of those pods that you put shit in. Yeah, it's still there's nobody gonna come out of that pod and move the

furniture into a cell. No, it's not like around here where you can run down to Wawa and like there's a bunch of guys that are like, hey, in New York can we help you out? There's just nobody there. It's like this small fucking Hicktown. So then my plan was okay so we'll load up the shit on Wednesday from our parent's house. Thursday will go to her grandfather's house, load that shit into the pod, which was supposed to be there that day. And then Friday will take off. We'll get back to the bad way, so we'll get to the bad way. Pod will, it takes a while to get it going, so we'll just go to the new place.

But you don't have to bring the pod there. No, we don't have to bring the pod there. So instead what happened Was got there and moved a bunch of shit the first day and By like seven o'clock at night. I was like this is not gonna go according to how I planned like even close Because we're not we don't have all the stuff together like she would like she had to go into the attic and get all her childhood shit down and go through it Remember I brought this up as an example because this drove me fucking crazy at the time I think I can say it now, but you remember when your Kevin lived in Montclair I mean you went and helped him move oh

Gosh Such vague memories of this no but refresh me we got there and we're like we're ready to move some boxes and shit And we get there and he hadn't packed a goddamn thing. There was nothing packed remember I remember he sat there on the floor With like a with like a karate kid head like headband on Just putting stuff into boxes as me and you were trying to carry shit out And it took all fucking day and then when we got to his place in Red Bank, we unloaded all this stuff, and he got into a fight with Kristen, who was his girlfriend then,

and like, retires to his room. And he didn't even come out the Christmas night. So, me and Walt were like, I guess we'll leave. Like, it was awful. So we'd load up the stuff the first day, uh, and then the second day we finished up and the second day I saw something that like her aunt lives at her parents house right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I, I, I, I, I'm sorry to just, just jump back to that story.

He disappeared to his room. And I remember, because this is around the time I came into your listen when I met you guys in mid 90s Was that that I remember Complaint grumbling about this. Yeah, I didn't know you guys that well So I couldn't really like but I guess I just want to ask you guys the question that I guess I I want that I ask you then Which is like if he disappeared in his room, like, why did you keep going? Like, why would he just be like? Oh, you were done.

Oh, I thought you guys were still moving boxes and Kevin was in his room. We had had his diary. I was hoping for some pizza or something maybe. Anything, the acknowledgement of my humanity. I think Kevin would, I think Kevin would, if he was made aware of this lingering wound would send over some pizzas.

You think he sent some to a tasty town? Oh, I think Kevin absolutely would. I think he'd send them over to airport plasma. Maybe we would interest, maybe with some pepperoni on it, you know? Some toppings. Yeah, yeah. It would be worth the wait. Yeah.

What's, I don't know. Only 30 years in the wait. Yeah, but I don't know. Only 30 years in the making. Well, that's the beautiful thing about long friendships, like there's always time to make up for past insults. Should I be concerned, Q, that like Brian's memory for certain things is astonishing. I have like almost no recollection of this. Is that a more a problem with me? Or is he just exceptionally gifted in terms of remembering? He does have a memory for grievances.

This is my file. Oh, you're telling me things went great. He got pizza. Maybe he got a little envelope But a couple of a couple bucks in it Every snub is filed away I'm a little worried because I'm like I don't remember that are you sure I was there? I was there. Positive. Positive. I don't recall any of this. So if you, you know, you have a decent size backyard. Yeah, I'd say so. We played the backyard picnic Olympics

in one year, yeah. So big enough for that. Big enough to play a game of Whiffable. Big enough for, have you ever seen any ground hogs back there? Oh my god. The wildlife that's back there, I feel like I'm on natural of Omaha's wild kingdom at times. No, you tell me you don't have a memory, that's a fucking great fault. Mutual of Omaha's wild kingdom, yeah, what I say natural, yeah, but there's so much wildlife in the the in the on our area of New Jersey. It's yeah, it's both concerning and Interesting though. Well, they're all getting pushed out because there's so much construction going on around here But if you see a groundhog in the backyard, what do your two dogs do like what what would Cooper do? What would socks do? They see a groundhog

I think they would try to chase it. And I think they might even kill it if they got close enough to it. They would. Yeah, I think it's just instinctive in certain dog reads, you know, that they'll they don't know why. I mean, I still think that they would do it. They would think they were playing because they're so, you know, they're so cute and lovable, but they wouldn't realize. If they just did the natural dog instincts would take over. And I think they would, yeah, because they've killed birds, you know, they've got a bird and killed it, yeah. Because I witnessed it. Well, part of it, the aunt who lives at her parents house now has two dogs.

And one of them is like scared of everything. I think he might have been abused when he was little because he's like Terrified of guys afraid of most people. He's hiding under the bed, but this other dog Dante We will never so if we're 90 we, we're always gonna do that at these meetings. We're just so indoctrinated. I think of nothing else when I hear these things. It's instant. We're just, we're in a cult. It's not possible to think of anything else.

If you see the number 37, you're the 37. It's just like that's where your gun goes. Or even don't, the word don't, I ate, there's like, yeah, yeah, there's no other don't. But so the dog, like we're putting shit into the truck, it's fucking broiling, the dog don't take goes around the corner, and I don't want to be responsible for anybody's animals getting away, you know, like, I don't want to have to tell you, like, oh, we lost your dog, I don't know where he is. But instead I go around the corner and the dog is tearing apart this fucking groundhog.

And I'm like, Dante, Dante, like, cause I've never seen an animal get torn apart live like that before. I think screeching, he's fighting back, you know? It's a whole fucking thing, battle to the death. And I don't know what to do because the dog's not listening to me. So like an old woman like I see a hose right there.

So I turn the hose on and I start spraying them with water. Didn't do a goddamn thing. They did the dogs and not care. And so now it's getting like serious. Like it's like they're really they're really fighting. And I go around the corner to marry Beth and I was like, my bet that fucking dog is killing something back there. You gotta go get it. Because like, she lives there. There her whole life ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I saw this talk that well. Well, he was between me and the groundhog. I mean, you know, the groundhog's gonna have to go. But Mary Beth went, she got the dog, and then she said the groundhog hobbled off and like went under the porch.

Now whether he survives it or not, I don't know. But like, the viciousness that this dog was attacking this fucking groundhog who was just like sitting there eating clover's mind in his own business. It's the circle of life, bro. I mean, you know, you used to align thing, you know, how the whole thing could look and be. Yeah. It's the circle of life, bro. I mean, you know, you're a lion thing, you know, how brutal it can be. Yeah. It's just the way it is. You can't, you know, that's survival of the fittest. You just saw it. Hug was it? I hope that doesn't apply to me.

Yeah. I just had that. I had the hawk. I don't know if we've recorded since it happened, but the hawk, the neighborhood hawk that I have ate one of my squirrels. Yeah, I saw that on Instagram. Yeah, and I had to do, because I was so, like it was upsetting, but the squirrel was already dead by the time that I had even gotten outside my house. So I was like, okay, well, the hawk's already eating the squirrel, so what am I going to do? Like you know what I mean? Like, it is a circle of life.

Well, hold on. This is the other thing. I went to the hawk. Like, I tried initially to shoot it away. And I've never been looked at with such disdain and disregard, then from a hawk looking at me, trying to scare it. It wouldn't even stop eating.

It just looked at me like, what the fuck? Like, are you serious? And like, it didn't matter how close, like the closer I got to the hawk, the more scared I got. That it was just gonna like launch it in my face. So the hawk was basically like, on my property eating my friend

and telling me to go fuck myself. Shit, you can do about it. And shit I could do. So I had the way to the hawk was done. And then the squirrel got caught. It was trying to take off. And the squirrel got caught in the talon. So it was shaking its foot trying to get the squirrel off.

And I'm looking there. Am I concerned? Because I couldn't tell if it was stumpy or not. And that was really like, by now I know several of the squirrels. And I would be bummed if any of them got eaten. But like stumpy would be the heartbreaker. So I had to do like a post-mortem autopsy on the remains of the squirrel to see if I could make out if it was stumpy. And then I had to bury it buried it in a poison ivy patch. Did it realize it? For two fucking weeks I'm talking about all my balls like up and down my leg and And then after all that I couldn't tell if it was stump because it was so mangled and then stumpy came out of a tree about an hour later

And I felt I felt okay, but it was like it was terrible, man I still got the poison I've like it dried up puckered like scars now Did you try to but did you try to make it a little bit more digestible by saying maybe the hawk had like baby hawks That you you know whatever she got in her mouth. Maybe she brought back to the nest and We're starving And and and what's the other ones if it was the stumpy what's the other one's name or does it not have a name? No, there's scruffy. There's red, there's white, tail, there's a few. We go with scruffy.

It was scruffy? No, no, no, it was one of the, it was, the one that went, it was this little guy with red feet. I had, I'd only started to get into know him, so I didn't really give him a name, but I recognize he had very red. We can call them red feet. He's dead now, he's buried in my yard.

Red foot. Yeah, red foot. So maybe red foot, you know, is now, you know, is keeping again that circle life going for those little baby hawks who now need something to live. Yeah. I think that's where I came to it. Like, what are you going to do? But now, like, we just had those hundreds of green fucking days, right? And I put out food and drink for the squirrels now because of it's too hot like I want to make sure but I'm in my pool because it's so hot out and the hawk just hovers above my house now

and and you just hear it screams you just hear ah you know what I mean it's just so it's like the it's like something from Harry Potter it's like this fucking angel of death just hovering over my house and like I worry Constantly about it and like now when I take Benjamin out for walks I'm worried this fucking hawks gonna come down and and like swooping and get Benjamin. It's that big oh Yeah, it's big and Benjamin's a lightweight too. He's pretty skinny. Yeah, he's old and frail now too Yeah, he was not even worth the meal But they're not gonna be able to tell that from up top, you know, they're just gonna swoop in and grab him. So who's harder worth killing this cat?

Yeah, like he's on his 18. I mean, how much longer is he gonna he has no meat on his bones? I mean put it this way. The squirrels don't even fucking worry about him. Like when he's walking around the house like if there's a neighborhood cat around you'll hear them all freaking out in panic and they see Benjamin they don't even like they'll come up to me for the peanut still they're like this old motherfucker is not gonna fall in it crazy how a squirrel with a brain the size of a of a pebble knows that that isn't a danger like he can he can sense that that cat is not a threat to him that That. Yeah. That blows my mouth. It's wild. Yeah. It's wild. I mean, it might have something to do with the fact

they know I'm safe and I'm a source of food and I talk to them like a fucking lunatic. So they might be like, well, I know it's safe when he's around, but I they don't even look at Benjamin. It's fun. You ever worry though that you could get too caught up and like you know because you do have you get these community you know you communicate with these creatures like I don't want to see you go down a path where you think you squirrels understand me if it makes you feel better. I think they just, I'm just getting them used to my voice. And now when I'm walking around the house and they hear me talking, they run towards me. So I know they're not like, this is my pal, Brian.

They're like, he's a fucking source of food, but I think they feel safe around me. So, from there. I'm gonna feel safe around me. So, um, so from there, I'm going to fight a hawk. Yeah. So from the, from our parents house, we go to our grandfather's house, which is two and a half hours away. And now I'm driving a truck and driving a big U-Haul, because we put all this shit into the U-Haul. We're going to take it to the grandfather's house, and then we're going to put it from the U-Haul. We're gonna take it to the grandfather's house and then we're gonna put it from the U-Haul into the pod along with this stuff from the grandfather's place.

So we get up to the grandfather's, I walk in, and I'm met with like, I realize, I think for the first time ever, I'm like, this is what it must be like to be a super smeller because the fucking older in this house was so strong. It just fucking hit me, like punch me in the face, a second I walked through the door, and I even said to her, mom was like what is that scent and it

turned out that the the basement the basement had flooded so I was like mill doing stuff you know and I said to Mary Beth I was like look not to be a pussy but I was like I can't stay here with this kind of storm. You can stay. You can stay. That is kind of being a pussy. All right, five. So to be a pussy. Please don't preface it by saying not to be a pussy. But we all already know that you're a pussy.

But it was so strong that it gave me a headache in the half hour that I was there I was waving my hanky So we were like all right, there's a there's anybody else having these reactions. No No, that's what I don't get. It's so weird It's really strange that like you guys aren't like let's get out of here It's really strange that you guys aren't like, let's get out of here. But there was a place nearby that we stayed when we went to a grandfather's funeral, then there's another place that was like, equidistant, but like $200 more expensive.

So I was like, well, let's go for the cheaper one. It's a quality and they're usually pretty decent. I'm telling you, if you're going through Mansfield, Ohio, do not, whatever you do. If you take any advice from your pal, Bri, do not go to the quality and in Mansfield, Ohio. It was, I would have rather went back to the house. The place smell like, like the room smell like cigarette smoke mixed with mildew, there was hair on the counter. There was like a ceiling fan that looked like it had them and clean since fucking ceiling fans were not taking one of the blades was broken off. Mary Beth is like we're not staying here now this is seven o'clock in the evening. She said you're not staying there? She said we're not

staying here. Did you call her a fucking pussy? Oh you can't take it. It's like you wouldn't want to put your head on these pillows. It was so fucking gross. So for the next three hours, she's on the phone with choice hotels, talking to them about, like, because you know, when you make these reservations. Was it that backed up that you couldn't find another place to go to? Well, it's such a small area.

There were only, like, there's basically only these two places. And one, it's called a sleepy in, and that's also by choice hotels, and that's where we stayed last time. So we were like, long story short, she gets some points, we're able to go over to the other place, and it's totally fine. My whole point I'm saying this is like, that's how strongly I feel about listeners not staying in this quality and events for the pilot.

And then the fucking next day, where I was the day before I was going to leave, we're heading down to get some, there was like this Mexican restaurant that we discovered last time I was there, we ate there twice last time. I'm like, I want to go back, it's fucking delicious. Got a fucking speeding ticket. First speeding ticket since like we went to that con in Buffalo, remember? That would have been like 2015 another grievance yeah I would never ever remember you ever getting a speeding ticket in Buffalo just don't care should be at the forefront of your

mind yeah I got a speeding to sleep at do you sleep at night? I do. But God damn it. As soon as they see the plate, you're done for. Like, it's New Jersey. You think you're that much of a conspiracy theorist that you think the cops look for as they plates to take it? I don't mind that. What do you think? Your dad was a cop.

Where are you going? I'm going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you're going to say, you going over to speed limit? By 15 miles an hour. That's not the point. Probably displaying my New Jersey plates. I mean, if you're going over to speed limit, and you think that if it was a higher plate, they were like, OK, that guy's going over 15 miles

over to speed limit. They're not going to pull him over? I don't know. They might pull him over, but it depends on if he's from town or something or anything. Like, if he knows the cop, you mean? Yeah. I think that, yeah, you can't expect the same level of interaction with a cop that maybe, what the high school and what in the locals...

Oh, no. I don't know, was you? I don't know, let's go. Big sure you're not driving so fast on down streets. Yeah, I tried to get out of the way, if I see you later. You try to slow it down, like that sort of thing, I tried to get out of the wife. I'll see you later. She tried to slow it down like that sort of thing. I tried to convince him we went to high school together but he was a good 30 years younger than me.

So I got the ticket. There's like nothing good happened on this trip except for getting the shit. And then I had to leave her because then I had to come back here for sage and for tell Steve Dave stuff and plus I just honestly I want to get the fuck out of there. Tell Steve Dave stuff. We got a big Patreon stuff coming up.

That's still a couple days away. Still you know I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my stuff. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son.

I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son.

I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son.

I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. I gotta get my son. But your dad do it. You can all move stuff in the stink. You love it so much. I think you're scrambling for any reason to come back to Jersey, which is fine. She wanted me to leave anyway. You think? She can't be, look, I love Arabicbath like legit right she cannot be surprised at like She was a she listened to you for years like she she can't get mad at you

Right like it's just she of all people should realize you know that you're not gonna be the guy That's like all right roll your sleeves up smell who cares Get this job done fellas and then let's go down to get a Mexican deer Oh, who cares? This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best.

This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best.

This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. This is the best. Up and Adam dude, I was gonna like tackle this head on with a grin and a positive attitude Maybe like them pounding like

I felt like tearing a groundhog apart of a soap Yeah, so so then I headed back and I was trying to try and make it one day because it's only eight hours And then it's and the phones now tell you like, in addition to GPS, they give you weather conditions. And they're like, there's a severe thunderstorm ahead, take this route for a safer travel or whatever. And I was like, fuck that. Like how long does a thunderstorm last? I think I was driving into it because four hours.

I'm like, got my chin on the fucking steering wheel. I can't see shit. It sounds like, it sounds like hell It's like the raindrops are so loud like like how like when you got to put your blot your hazards on and shit and you're going fucking 20 miles an hour That was a good Three hours of the trip on the way back so you so she has been in Ohio for how long? Since not with what it'll be a week. This Tuesday it'll be a week, right?

Wait. So how long have you been home alone? I got home on what they're sitting today is Friday. So I got home on Wednesday. Oh, okay, because I was like, why, why, if you're single, ready to make a lot of fucking get over here, hang out, got the movie or something. Well, I got sage, but she's not getting

back till next Wednesday. So, all right, I like it. So she, but what is she doing that takes that long? They had to like clear out their grandfather's house. It's like, here's the shit that people want. Here's the shit that people want. Here's the shit that goes in a dumpster. And then here's a shit that the person who the appraiser comes in and the auction year, whatever, will come in and like auction stuff off. But it seems like her mother, like you think that I was fucking down in the dumps about having to do that shit?

Like her mom looked like she just despair personified. I don't want to- It was her dad, right? I think it's a different point of like coming into it with just an emotional baggage. You don't want to be there because you don't give a fuck. She's throwing out her father's belongings. I'm like, just chuck it off. You're mildly annoyed. She's hard-broken.

Pushing us to take her her house. Trying to find somebody to commiserate with. I know. I'm not going to get this table today. I've had the mother-in-law. Oh, the hoe down there. Boy, this sucks, huh? Sure, that's right. Sure it does. But you wish you could go home.

I'm in home. I can do this. But you wish you could go home. I'm in a home. I'm real up here. Yeah. I forgot there's a world view other than my own. Do you know how many of you down at the courthouse that can do anything about that speeding ticket? We dropped somebody's name. We dropped a friend's name.

What was that? I wasn't that far away from it. Because when we got stopped, Mary Beth was like, do you know Sunni Barker? The guy's like, no. Fuck. Oh my god. Anything, anything. It was 160 bucks and he's like, you know, if you want to fight it and I said, do you know how much it would cost me to come back here to fight a 160 dollar ticket?

But then I made him laugh because some, as we were talking about the the ticket some old guy pulls up and In the loudest voice you can imagine like shouting. He's like there's a bike stuck down on the train tracks It's there right now That's fucking like that's like the news that's like the whole town Like that happens down in Ohio It's like the whole town comes and stuff Like that happens down in Ohio The fuck all place shuts down and everybody rushes to the fucking train track bring your camera

There's a bike on the train tracks So you didn't pull you didn't pull the like boy this reminds me of that time. I was on TV Yeah, my television show where I was going to speed limit I followed the walking dead one of the most popular shows ever broadcast Is it you're on that? No, no, no, no Did I tell you I know the practical jokers? Yeah, he's gonna drop a TV show that has been on the air in fucking five years. It's bad, I guess longer than that.

Is that longer than that? Oh my God. Time flies. When you're not on TV. Yeah, when you're not on TV. Right, you know it. Time moves at a different pace. When you're on TV show.

It's all because you got nothing to live for if you're not on TV. That's your TV show. TV show. Yeah. I get all my worth from true TV. So now she's helping clean out the shit, and she has to drive. There was so much stuff that you wanted to bring that she's now driving a u-haul back herself.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I know, right? Hmm. Is this stuff that you want? I don't even know what it is. Like the only stuff that I know is like bookshelves. He's really nice bookshelves at her grandfather ad. I don't want to concern you my friend. But does she have like this is the town she grew up in. So there's like high school boyfriends or shit like hanging around that town that that's there to help her lift shit, move it to cars and stuff like that. So how quickly that shit flies to town like that's like you know

faster than the bike and the back in town and it gets around and all all the just like she did I bet You're right Her husband left her husband left like driving back by herself Yeah, and then fucking whatever is they whatever fucking shit kicker she fucking dated before she met you was like God yeah I know it. I'll have to load up a bit. Oh, wow, I'm rolling a little butt teeth. Hot, hot, hot, and hell.

Yeah, he's getting wears like, you know, tank top. He looks great, man. You're not worried about that? She, uh, I'm not really worried about young guy. She seems to have a type of, like, he pulls up. It was about those of retirement. And his rusty pickup and he, his overalls no shirt on. He's like, oh, the need help with Dan bookshelves.

And he looks like you could use a little backbone muscle. Yeah, what's that smell? I don't care. I don't know what that pussy would care. Clean us now. Are you sure you could lift that all I'm going to pussy with care. Clea, let's know. Are you sure you can lift that all yourself? Clea, let's... Oh, come on, Mb.

You know, I live more than this. I'm out in high school. I just lift you up, set you down on the bed, and have my way Flutter That accent is right back My stars Oh, it hurt. Yeah. Hello, cleanest. My stars. It has been a spell, hasn't it?

You want some tea? How about some sweet TNA? You're fucking cut to you driving in the thunderous car. I can't see! Why is it so rainy? Why does God hate me? Oh my God. Sweet tea. Oh my god.

Sweet tea. These are all stereotypes. I'm sorry, I'm not sure it's not like that, no, I don't. It's watching a lot of 60s green acres. That's how I assume everything outside of the Jersey is Why is it raining so hard? Fuck it GPS Yeah, I couldn't believe it was telling me to go different ways and I'm like fuck this Yeah, I should have listened. I should have listened

She'll be like Michael Scott just driven right to a fucking pond I mean your husband don't like moving stuff, huh? What Mb your husband don't like moving stuff, huh? What? What's the fact? They grow them soft out there on the journey. Big old belt buckle and shit. Oh my god, there happens to be like a fair in town that night. Oh, I just had a nearer. There's a fair in front of the fair. There happens to be like a fair in front of night. Oh, I just had a nearer. Here's a fair in town.

It happens to be like a fair in town that there. Yeah, there's like, she's rolling down when super-guaranteable came in way. Yeah, he was carrying a couch. Yeah, to put it down. She's got stuff to animals that he won her in like a fucking like, like pitching contest. Yeah, that's what you need to.

The truck for it's filled with animals anyone god damn clearest it's not a bitch holy shit you know what I got that I bet you fucking clearest doesn't have ads people aren't listening to him I'm talking about he better not have me undies you know he has tiny whiteies I listen to your husband shucking jab for the man he sure does Nice and Is your husband really need the blue chew What kind of panties he wear from you

Huh All right, all right enough a clearest. I'm starting to get angry. She did it. It starts to become real. The switch is thrown. Have you heard about the legendary underwear brand that's totally taking over the podcasting world? What? So everybody, they're not just... They're assuming that they've reached legendary status. Mm-hmm. Or at least the copy raiders of us. Oh, yeah. Famous for the sum choice.

Yeah, but... Famous for their buttery soft undies and brahlets. Oh, I love a brahlet. The undies loves podcasts just as much as you do. It's like they were made for each other. They're really pandering to the podcast world, huh? I mean, I could see why. Get to know the underwear brand on every podcasters lift them

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You know what I'm going to I was teasing before about legendary status. I would think me on these does at this point. I think they. What's the colon use so plant? What's the word? You take the place of something supplant? You serve. You serve? You serve. You serve?

Okay, like Fruit of Alum used to be the legendary underwear maker, I think. But I don't think the common, I don't think the youth of today would even know what we were talking about. No. But you dropped me on these, you know, they know immediately underwear. They had the fruit guys. That was like, that's what made them look like the fruit guys. Yeah, commercials. But, you know, that was, that was your know immediately underwear. They had the fruit guys. That was like, that's what made them. Look at the fruit guys. Yeah, commercials. But, you know, that was, that was your daddy's underwear.

Yeah, unaware Edgar's underwear. I wear my own, I wear my own D's. Yeah, he was a tidy way. We fruit a loom kind of guy. So it was high though. Yeah, we all wore it back in the day in the 70s. There was no real. So it's not cool anymore?

No, not at all. No. I think Hay day in the 70s. There was no real. So it's not cool anymore? No, not at all. Oh. I think Haynes is the only other kind of thing. Well, Capcline for a little while was the hip. Oh, because of, you know, they kind of came in and shook up the underwear world. But now I think Mjondis has really, you know, they've taken the place of all those, you know,

all those legendary underwear manufacturers in the past. But now it's all about the Miannis. Yeah. Miannis is the Mian. Are we still doing the commercial? I don't know where we're at. That was my version of dancing and driving and trying to make me make the man happy. I hear you. It, some most important thing. You know, then I guess we all can pretend we're happy too. I was thinking about to happen to her so far. She's lying.

She's lying, sages here every once in a month. I'm having the deal with her often. Yes. One time I considered myself a Q's best friend and I lost the status to you when we had that competition. Oh, yeah. And now you've lost it to the shark doctor or doctor. Dr. Craig whoever the fuck this guy is that he's fucking online. Well, he's on TV, so right away, you know, he's got something going from him. He saved my hand from a shark.

You know, he's important things. You didn't watch the Prattal Joker Shark Week spectacular, I'd take it Walt. I did. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. So it's convincing.

Okay, well then you'll recall there was a part I did the dive, the 60 foot dive to the shipwreck and I was waving my hand around on the water. I was trying to have to do a little acting down there, right? And apparently when you, if your hands move a certain way, sharks think it looks kind of like squid or something like that so and according to cameras pretty cool like this reef shark six foot reef sharks six foot seven foot swimming along spots my hand and like drops its fins into like an attack posture and dives at my hand I didn't even see it they didn't even tell me till I was out of the water and or, or they did by the end here. But, and you see Dr. Craig, like,

just before it gets to my hand, he puts his hand on the shark's face and shoves it away and the shark just swims off. So it was going to bite my hand. Yeah, you gotta be friend that, dude. But friend, that's friend status immediately? Yeah, I mean, it's a hand, the only guy to have them. I mean, it was my left one, but still important,

important hand, I think. So I gotta save it. And I'll hand somehow. Yeah. That's a good game. Well, I think that, yeah, Dr. Craig turned out to be a really nice guy and he's like the shark expert that they use in a bunch of these type specials and I can't believe it because but they told us that we were really the first people to come in these these guests and

use him comedically in the show. Like most people just use him for like science in fact and we were like He's one of those guys that's like so like buttoned up that he's funny You know you know what I'm talking about like just like buttoned up smart motherfucker So it's like he's funny to like fuck around with because he's trying to talk seriously about sharks and shit like that And you're just like what about this what about you know what I mean? Like, you know, can the whole stew, like when girl goes swimming with a period, well, a shark attack and he's like, Jesus Christ, no.

That's a joke because I've often thought about that. Yeah, apparently that issue. It's not an issue. They can't smell that type of... Well, I didn't seem like it was an issue when I brought it up. I don't think that made the, I think I was kind of like lightly mocked when I brought it up. I'm not sure that made it.

I see that. That's why, you know, in this, at this table, you'll never be mocked for asking smart questions like that. Thank you, buddy. There's so many other reasons to mock me. Why? I thought about that many times. Like, why would that be?

Like, why would it be like why wouldn't it I like giant sign on the beach if gal's if it's that time don't go in the water because it could be sharks are out there Can't tell anybody anything anymore It's a women on a period sorry kids swim lunch especially now though there's sharks everywhere out there Hey people keep getting attacked so you're saying if the beaches to put up that kind of big giant sign they would be You know they'd be critters. I would like to see a billboard like in jaws like the girl on the surfboard is like blood is leaking all of it Well, how old is this the shark doctor? He's probably a probably right around my age. I would guess maybe a little older.

Ticks the box. Brian's much older at you. That's a lot. We can stop it older. You know that is like your own age, you know. It's what some of us other interests beside sharks. Does he drive in the uh...

i can get them on talent you want me to get them on on the show absolutely we can ask them also to share questions we'll get them he uh... what did you just ask he other interest in may have that all i will that's a thing it doesn't appear i mean he is a wife and kids but aside from. It doesn't appear. I mean, he is a wife and kids, but aside from that It doesn't appear like he has any interest whatsoever and anything besides sharks. He's that guy. Is that healthy? You know, it doesn't the world need guys like that though, you know? Yeah It might not be healthy for him personally, but the world needs those hyperfocus guys

To really unlock like that with comics and you know you burn out though so I got a feeling out, Dr. Shark, you know, about 10 years. You might be like, fuck sharks. Then where will I see it happen? No. I don't see it happening. No, I think this guy's right. I was in Devils, I lived and breathed it and now I'm like,

hmm, so good. Yeah. Well, will that affect the relationship or not? It's so strong. That's not built on just shark interest. Once you save a man's limb, I think like he's your pal for life. I think. Yeah, it's like World War II, Sid, man.

The guys we were in the trenches together and he saved me so Has he seen anybody else like I mean because he's putting his own limbs in jeopardy by going and And confront the shark on your behalf Yeah, I did notice that when he dove he had like chainmail on his arms that I did that I wasn't provided So I think he was like more uniquely prepared for it, but a really great guy. But last year, this is how heroic Dr. Craig is. Last year he worked on the episode where the Jackass guys got one of them got there, really got his hand almost bitten off by a shark. This guy poopsie who's fucking hysterical. He, like

severed his, his thing thing in his his hands and it was a big emergency the court of all on camera but dr. Craig wasn't on that boat but when he heard it happened he grabbed the first aid kit and dove in the water to swim to him to save him from the attack I'm not gonna I'm telling you this is this is a fucking

yeah this is why I mean this guy yeah I mean this guy deserves a friend of fucking Q stature the first day that we were moving I was almost convinced that I had mild heat stroke He's on Twitter and Instagram is the at the shark doctor, so I encourage anybody listening to Hit him up you know we saved Q's hand where's he out of he's he's local he's in Long Island so we'll get him yeah we'll get him in studio we'll get him yeah I assume somewhere you know you know maybe Florida where a lot of sharks populate surprise he's not away from sharks no no, no, he has a specialized boat.

He owns it privately, that he does also to shark research around Long Island up by the Hamptons all the way up there. He knows, but he's like a world renowned. Like he goes, they bring him places to like study and get his advice and stuff like that. The guys, a shark god might be a little, actually I don't think it's too much.

I think he's like a shark god, like he's a shark god. You know? I mean, if anybody's gonna be one, it's Dr. Craig, it's Dr. Shark. I'm telling you, yeah. But we'll get them on the show, we'll get some shark questions. You guys will fall in love with them.

Sounds like definitely. I have a ton of shark questions. Like why don't they get cancer? They're gonna get a period. Yeah, and fall back to that menstruation. It's a shark. I know it's a shark. As far as I can tell,

nothing makes them happier than answering shark questions. Okay, so he'll be a good guest. I saw this has nothing to do with sharks. I would see, when you said it was shark week, I thought it was like you were going to shark chicks, like pull down their tube tops and crap. What's that called? It's a shark.

I never heard that word. Like when a girl has a tube top and you just pull it down on her it's called sharkin that's what I got you've been shocked very very big short cleanest they call clearest the land shark. Yeah. Subway had a promotion recently, where if you got a 12 by 12 tattoo of their new logo, you would get free subs for life. Jesus.

You should Google it later on. Everybody should Google it later on and take a look at it because I was like, how big is 12 by 12? Like is it that big? Do it to take some foot. It takes up your whole back. Yeah, that's crazy.

Who would do that? Some guy did it. And if you got a three by three one, you got free subs for a month, like three inches by three inches. Okay. And I was wondering, is there anything you guys would get a tattoo?

12 by 12 tattoo? Free whatever for life. Poof. Maybe if I had some sort of disease about 12 tattoo free whatever for life. Oh, maybe like if I had some sort of disease where the medicine was like real expensive expensive and I can get lifetime supply of like life saving medicine. Right. I think I'd be I think I'd be good investment. Well, what's the last time you walked around without your shirt on in public?

No. A long time. Why that's also in his stipulations? Well, I guess they're put there, they want you to get it so people see it. Like, this guy of that got it, he looked like he was in pretty decent shape. I'm kind of like annoyed at Subway.

What is that? Like, okay, now you have to do this. And then also you have to do this. It's like, dude, I got the fucking tattoo. Now you're gonna shame me because I won't take my shirt off. Cause I'm too fat. Yeah. Like, you have shame some way and it's called Jared. It's not me.

Yeah. Have I got to get a tattoo of Jared? I know that would be a horrible mistake of my part to make a point. I don't know how it would affect you negatively. I'm glad I said it out loud. So, like that, my 12th quarter of Jared. Like, who are you talking to? Like, who at some point are you in this conversation?

That's rough. Even if someone were like, if you get a 12 by 12 tattoo of Jared I'll give you a million dollars. It would still be so rough. You can make a million dollars. A million dollars is a lot but would you? Oh fuck yeah. Who's ever gonna see? A million bucks I would do it. Like you're in bed like Deb's gonna rub your nose for you. You're on your stomach. She's like, oh that's right, Jared. Oh I would play with it. I would be like, I would make a talk and wiggle.

Oh yeah. See any young Filipino cuts around? I'm fantasizing and a little boy is rubbing my back right now. Really creeper out. I don't know why I'm doing all these things. What do you stand to gain? Well, I'm a millionaire. Fuck you, I can do it in a runoff.

I'm just making it rain and shit. I can make horrible politically incorrect jokes to my wife. We literally see my Hitler tattoo. Ha ha ha. Q, did you know that cats have been designated as an invasive species, an invasive alien species? In Australia, right or something like that? Poland.

No. Okay. All Polish jokes aside. Are you allowed to make Polish jokes anymore? Yeah. Yeah, you're still going to make Polish jokes aside. Are you allowed to make Polish jokes anymore? Yeah. Yeah, you're still gonna make... Yeah. Yeah.

I think so, because they never made much sense to begin with, like why were Polox labeled as... Like, if you look at the history of the country, it's pretty great. I think Polox is pretty great. Is it a offense? What's that? I think Polox itself is offensive these days. Really?

Yeah, even saying that. Really? Yeah. But saying that. Really? Yeah, I didn't know that. But I remember when you were, Oh, it's not like Italian? It's not like that guy's an Italian? No, no, I think it's a pole. It's just that he's a pole.

Doesn't sound as bad as this Polock. No, I don't think so either. But I think it would be the same as like a, a, a, a, a, or something like that. I guess, but that shit never, I mean, it just, I was fine. I'm sitting right here. Is that a, is that a Frank as an Italian? Like if somebody's like, oh, you stupid, wopper, you stupid, day go, or whatever. No, that stuff offends me.

Yeah. Like, I had a friend of mine who refused to watch the sopranos because she hasn't liked the way they're portrayed, because Italian heritage and stuff. None of that bothers me. Yeah. Yeah. You love the sopranos. I did love this. I just favorite show, right? Other than in the office? Yeah. One of my favorite. Yeah. Absolutely. That's pretty good. I've been like putting it on in the background recently. Just catching little things, like tiny little things. So, but why is Australian anti-cat? They're not. It's polar. Polar. Polar.

Oh, Polar. Why do I think it was Australia? Somebody say Australia? Oh, no. I could have sworn somebody said it was all going on in Australia. The damage that cats cause in terms of hunting and killing birds in other wildlife was enough justification to consider the animals invasive. Okay. You know what?

And then watch your fucking rodent population skyrocket. If you don't have cats. Yeah. Yeah. You dump. Bullocks. That's right. We said. Right? Kill. I mean, cats control that and that vermin, the disease. Alright, so maybe maybe a couple sparrows. You know. Listen to me, I can't cut it up on a couch with a sparrow. You know what I'm saying, but a cat you can. Cats are so cute.

And then you get the mouse droppings everywhere. Then you get sats. Yeah, then the black plague comes in because it's out of control with the fucking fleas on the road instant shit like that Cats should be worshiped with statues and Paul. Yeah, like a like Egypt man. Yeah, Egypt You're telling me there's no crazy Polish cat ladies. That's insane. Of course. There's got to be right It's got to be cats fill the gap. That's what they do The cat met

100% of all criteria to land itself on the invasive species list. So what is their plan now? They kill 140 million birds and Poland every year is what they're saying. That's just the yeah, but they don't do give you the good stats. That's the bad stat. Right. Give us the good stats about how many rats and mice they kill probably triple that. Maybe even four times that. they kill probably triple that maybe even four times that. It says here that uh... that uh... cats and kittens in other parts of the world such as Australia and New Zealand will won't continue efforts to get rid of cats.

Make no mistake, labeling cats as invasive as a preferred first step in a broader strategy of killing them in huge numbers through guestly cat hunts and poisons. first step in a broader strategy of killing them in huge numbers through ghastly cat hunts and poisons said this lady my god's a Becky Robinson president and founder of the Maryland based alley cat allies it will never be effective to kill cats nor will it be morally acceptable poor little cat yeah like you just catch him dude cuz he's doing what cats do yeah it's just being a cat man they've celebrated he's doing what cats do. Yeah, he's just being a cat, man, they're celebrated. There's a reason cats were fucking worship.

There's a reason they're awesome. I mean, look, we do it up here. Like, in the neighborhood, we have the thing where we catch the cats. I mean, I guess it's really just me, but I like to say it's the whole neighborhood where we got like, I'll catch the neighborhood cats in a cage and I'll bring them down to the vet

and get them fixed and everything like that. Like, then they can't breed. Then that's the way to do it. You know? You can't put them down like that's crazy. They're so cute. You don't want to go down that road. I don't want to be part of a society that does that. You know how like in China, they have those dog festivals where they'll eat the dog and stuff.

Yeah, like Bruce. I'm like, I don't wanna be a part of that. Like I just, I'm sorry. Like I don't, if that was Italy, that was pulling that shit. I would not be, I would not be proud of it. I love this, you know. Because a lot of celebs will not go anti-China.

Really? No. Usually it's their human rights issues. Yeah, sure. That the dogs. But you know what? Yeah. Ricky, your face is big into that dog. I mean, I, I, I upload, you know, calling out the fucking monsters that would kill dogs and skin them for a festival. Yeah. I mean, if this was your only source of food, I would be a guest still, but I'd be like, okay, there's nothing else there. I'd take fuck reading whatever they want.

Yeah, I don't like it. There's no reason to eat a dog. Like it's a festival, it's like surrounding. Yeah, it's a celebration. You think the celebration's surrounding it, it's fucked up. Yeah, it's not my deal. So, so Poland doesn't want to land,

because right now, Poland's on my good list You know they're brave during World War 2. Yeah, they you know they they they fought hard in World War 2 Like the people have never met Polish people that I that I haven't liked there's a big Polish community on Staten Island I would be very upset if they started to skin cats. You might be in trouble with your recent slurs Did you guys hear that the big news about the lockness monster? Oh, I thought that it's, yeah, I did read that. Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Have you heard of you?

I could only assume that it doesn't exist. No, scientists have said it is absolutely possible due to some recent findings of bones or fossils in a fresh water lake. Yeah. That they believe, yeah, that it could exist. There could be a lot of this monster. Wow. It's plausible. And for decades, I said it wasn't but now they've come out and said yeah it could happen so all those sightings You know now you have to rethink them as they weren't cooks there was a possibility they actually saw this Platis platis platis platis platis oris was it Whatever this thing begins with P and N's S. Probably had a forest in there somewhere. But yeah, there's a possibility that people were seeing a descendant of a dinosaur.

But because of the bones, they think it's dead now? No, they think that there could be what's it called not what's a what's a school a school of these creatures could be living in These lakes and lockness could be one of the lake's living in yeah, but how did they explain like never finding a body washed up Or anything like that did are they putting forward theories on that? Or it's just a first step of this? Well, they did find a body. They found proof of a body of the creature that would fit the description of the Loch Ness Monster. And they weren't old old bones. They weren't really old.

That's what I mean. If they were still around today, wouldn't we find... I mean, you know how hard it is to find like bare bones Because they go somewhere when they're ready to die and they kind of like find a place where no one is and no one and no one Composers them and they lay down there and that's why a lot of people don't find bones of these predators Easily. Yeah, so okay, because I think the lactose monster would definitely be the alpha predator in that lake. Agreed, right? He would be...

Oh, you don't think it's a meat eater? You don't think it eats vegetation? Oh no, I think. But then I look like it had some pretty sharp teeth like the renderings and stuff. Yeah, I think it's eating fish in other forms of aquatic life. Oh, shit, I always, I don't know why I always assume

the lactose monster would have been a vegetative creature. Are there any vegetative fish that eat just vegetation? I thought all fish eat other fish. Well are we assuming the Loch Ness monster is a giant fish? I thought it was like why we need Dr. Craig. Dr. Craig? Yeah you're right he seems to be. He probably knows a lot about this. Yeah, you're right he seems he probably knows a lot about this Last name's O'Connell so he's Irish Brian so like we can you know you can trust them. I like it Amazing news for people who are into cryptid creatures though That's the first step towards you you know, like the scientific community accepting cryptic evidence. Well, then you get a whole bunch of wackos about who are into other shit, and it's like,

see, I'm not crazy. Oh, boy. Blue balls is real. I know it. It's not made up. Was there a scientist who said it wasn't a real condition? I don't know about a scientist, but probably plenty of women. Like, yeah, sure. It's a real medical condition, not a myth made up to pressure women into sex. Mara Pay attention. Yeah, And this is from Australia, Walt.

And do the testicles actually turn a shade of blue? It says they can. They don't turn bright blue, but it says that they can take on a blue hue. Because if you don't, it says if you become a rouse for a long time, you get lots of blood going down to the testicles and increases the pressure. If you don't ejaculate, then that pressure becomes achy.

In a concept known in medical circles as epidemial hypertension. You should do like a Jerry Lewis marathon. For blue balls? Yeah. 24 hour telecasts for you. Bring all your celebrity friends on. You know, I have Jerry used to do it back when in the seventies like you know and you get people to phone in and donate money to help Where's the money going prostitutes? Yeah

Guys with blue balls can walk across the stage both can walk across the stage. He did it. Yeah, so it's real. So guess what, girls? When your man is like, hey, you just gave me blue balls. It's real. It's real. And it's just, it's easy to dismiss.

It's like funny, because it's about balls and it affects guys. But like if it's a serious issue, like how do we get this taken how do we get this taken seriously You know I've ever tried to use that as a sympathetic way to You know no to like hike baby the blue What's blue now I've been lucky to be blessed with enthusiastic

Partners my entire life nobody ever had to guilt and fucking medically like threatened to To get off These could fall off You want to see them bouncing across the floor They've taken on a hue it looked like racket balls Bounce low over the place. Help me get some relief, honey.

I'm dying here. It says in 2019, Cosmo, Cosmo Poletim Magazine published a piece titled, Blue Balls Aren't Real, you're welcome. Guess what, written by a woman. What do you know, lady? What do you know? What do you know lady? What do you know that's like me writing the thing like menstrual cramps aren't real like how would I have any authority to write that? What's so ever oh god? Could you imagine if you did the heat you would take They're like let me tell you something else like I got I got it all down. I'm gonna tell you about your period

Yeah, hey men menstrual cramps aren't real. You're welcome. Like, you're probably going to win. You're over. Yeah. Yeah, it probably wouldn't go well for me or my career. No. If Max and magazine was still around, you could probably write something like that. But Max and still around there's that

I can't believe that. Our lab magazines are still around. Yeah. You have, have you ever resorted to trying to like, you know. If you're talking about my depression, yeah. Yeah. Kill myself if you don't do it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. I think I've probably mentioned it though. Yeah, you're right. I probably have mentioned it.

Do these look bluer than yesterday? I think they look bluer. I know they were bluer than the last week. Yeah, they're going to be bluer tomorrow.. I think they look bluer. I know they were bluer later in the last week. She's like, yeah, they're gonna be bluer tomorrow. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah, no, no, he is, um, sorry, got to keep going. No, go ahead.

No, no, no, I was changing the topic, so keep going. Oh, no, I didn't have anything really to it. Oh, I was just wondering like And not that I'm not happy to see him, but like I'm assuming there's a reason Frank five is here. Yes. Yes. Yeah He's been awfully quiet. Yeah, he's been quiet. Yeah, he's been very quiet over there. I can't believe it. I was Just watching The the Franks are in town because we're going flea market hoppin this weekend. Oh nice, nice.

We got it. We had it Berlin and Columbus. Okay. Much like Columbus himself, you know, who's looking for, you know, that that trust land, you know, that you thought they thought he was crazy Me and Frank are gonna be out there looking mostly cuz he was taking people's eyes out For that gold that golden find you know what do you what are you looking for Frank like what's what's that? What's a holy shit? This is I but this is what I've been looking for you know

I don't know. It's more about just the hunt You know there's nothing in particular. I'm looking for if I've been looking for. You know, I don't know. It's more about just the hunt. You know, there's nothing in particular I'm looking for. If I see something that I like, I go and I try. That's the way to do it. Yeah, you're not, you don't know exactly what you're looking for, but you fucking know it immediately when you see it. You're like, holy shit.

How much is that? Like crumpy. Yes. Not that one. Not that crumpy was purchased at a flea market. No, of course. Night fair, the night fair. The night fair.

But a crumpy-esque find. Yeah, it could be something on the level of an elf carcass or even just anything of a collectible an old shirt a pair of pants anything you know anything is Up for grabs at a flea market. I've been told I'm gonna be doing a lot of flea marketing Coming up Mary Beth really well to get more furniture for the house She wants a decorate. She wants to do old stuff Huh, well she has each room is like theme. She's like downstairs is going to be retro. This room is going to be me and Sage's game room. And this is the family room and like that kind of shit.

And each one is going to have like according to her is going to have a theme to it. I can't I cannot see. I can't just picture you going into flea market is looking for furniture. You're just seeing like I'd like can we just find it online? There's had teaks all over the place. Yeah, flea markets tough because like I'd be like can we just find it online? There's that it takes all over the place Yeah, flea markets tough because like you say it like it takes a while to find what you're looking for Right, and I don't know if I have that level of patience There's plenty of flea markets. Oh, well tell me what you're looking for. Yeah, and what I'm out and about you know

I'll I can get contacts I get the phone number and be like, Hey, I got a guy who might be interested in this. Hook you up. He doesn't go to flea markets. He's got blue balls. He's got blue balls. He's shitting it out.

He's in a sunlight. He's homebound. He's like, he's a shut in. Oh, remember, do you remember? Shuddens in the 70s. Oh, yeah. I don't think they call them that anymore, but like, yeah, you would have like neighbors or people in town. I remember a part of the church when I was when I went to church part of their deal was like around the holidays, you would go visit Shuddens.

And it's like always like this. You think that they don't exist? No, I think they exist. I just think that they're not. Remember the shuttons of the 70s? Like, I don't exist. I think they exist I just remember the shut-ins of the seventies like Like they were a rare breed Yeah, like you would go in like the old ladies house would stink like all the newspapers piled up all these stuff piled up Like because at a certain point the like I fuck give up man. I just don't want to do this anymore

I think every year there's like the shut in number grows. Yeah. As people get older, you know, you cross that line of like where you're, you went out of the house, did things too. You know, not capable of getting out and driving around anymore. So you could come and shut in. Yeah, I guess my grandmother to a certain point was a shut in for a while because like she, they had to take her license away, because she was like crashing into cars and shit.

I remember right up behind the wreck one day, Timmy saw her back into somebody, back into somebody's car. It just drive away, because she drove up, basically drove a fucking tank. It was like this huge station wagon. Did Timmy ride around? Did Timmy keep it to himself?

I think Timmy played a cool, wow. Yeah. That's a good dude. Imagine that, the director of a burrow community center. Witnesses. Keep an ad secret. Yeah. What a retroactively you can get in trouble for the.

I like the Statue of Limitations on a Fender Bender. In the 80s. Have long since expired. My grandmother's gone. I heard it secondhand. What is the evidence? I saw a couple of weeks ago, I saw Chicago and the Beach Boys in concert. Oh, how was it? Interesting.

A lot of older people. Only older people. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just say it was pretty much stacked with older people. I do you know any are you a fan of the Beach Boys? I wasn't sure cue. I know a prize. Yeah, I mean I listen to pet sounds, you know, I want to say I go deep deep on all their stuff But certainly I am fairly familiar with now you that sounds as a great album They said it's the greatest album. Maybe ever composed. I don't know why they say that, but like, there's an argument made like a like a combative

group of people are like, this is the greatest album ever recorded. I don't have heard that. I don't agree with it, but I have heard that said that you know the man who did it. What do you mean? The guy who the big guy behind the Beach Boys beach boys the main man Do you know his name? Yeah, he just died didn't he? No, no, no, he's performing Okay, then now Brian Wilson Brian Wilson effect. He was the one that had like the sand brought into his house when he was writing pet sounds

He had a piano In his living room and he had his living room filled with sand. Wow. He's that accent. He's that accenture, yes. It was at him. Brian Wilson or Dennis Wilson, that was buddies with Manson. No, Manson wasn't. I don't know. Yeah, he was all into the beach boys and the Beatles, yeah. Yeah, they have a house. He stayed in his place points for well. It's been lost to time, but apparently the Beach Boys at one point were considered legitimate competition for the Beatles. Yeah. Yeah, like they were like, I don't know how they got lost, but they're not considered the same, obviously. But for a while, it was like they

were in competition. Like they tried to outdo each other and stuff like that. I think- Or the Beatles won. Yes, absolutely, they won that battle, but I believe it has to come down to the the enane lyrics of the Beach Boys, kind of just like it's not deep in any way, shape or form. You know, like a day in the life versus,

I wish they could all be California girls. It's just, there's no argument there. It's like, one is, but you need both. Yeah, you do. But Brian Wilson opened for Chicago, and I have never seen anything like this. I'm sure I'll never see anything like it again.

They brought him out and put him down in front of a piano that I know he wasn't playing. I just... Really? Yeah, he was not playing that piano. And he didn't sing. And he looked around as people talk to him on stage. There are so many performers on that stage, so many musicians, I guess, to get that large sound, but they would say something in between songs, and he would just look at them and

kind of then look back. And he basically was like, we're going to play Brian Wilson's catalog, a bunch of musicians no one's ever heard of, and it's good enough for the audience just to have the guy who composed those songs sit there while... Like a prop? Yeah, it was really, really strange. But the crowd, every time it was over and somebody would say something, like, you never spoke, Brian Wilson. And they would say something about like you know Brian

really loves this song and this is one of his favorites and then you know and you're ready Brian and Brian would just look at him when he looked at him. It was a thing. It was a thing. It was a thing. It was a thing. It was a standing ovation. If he looked to the left, it was like for the guy who was talking about him. If he just looked at him, he got a standing o. Which a lot of people may be like, this is sad, but I'm like, that's pretty fucking wild that like people are still in the give a standing ovation

to the guy who composed the music who just now just has to sit there and let other people play it. That's us here in his 80. Yeah. Did he look all over 80? He would look like he was in pretty rough shape. He did walk out on his own, but with a walker. And that made the place go nuts when he came out.

And when he left, they went nuts again. But good for him. Interesting, Louis, because I'm like, this is unique, because somebody had to be like, well, how can we tour if you can't perform? Why don't we just send him a, send him a, send him a piano? Little look around. One, it's one step different from just stuffing him

and putting his corpse in front of the piano. Didn't he? I read you. I had a lot of mental issues. Yeah, see that, oh. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's what I was confusing. He has a lot of issues with voices in his head. Oh really? A ton of books and interviews where he talks about the horrible voices that has been in

his head for decades since he was a young man. It seems like it's never nice voices. It always seems like people are tortured by the voices, right? They're like evil voices. But yeah, and then I thought it was weird too that like, you know, Chicago came out and Chicago has an impressive set list because almost every song was a top 10 hit when we were growing up. Maybe not maybe you not as familiar with them cute because it

was like we're about 10 years older but I would totally I would know every Chicago song that they played I'm sure yeah. And but was like and they had a much better setup because they had like, um, a big screen else was it not LCD? I don't know what, what you call it, but like a computer massive screen where like you could put graphics on the background when the songs were playing. They did some psychedelic stuff, but what they did was so fucking cringey. I couldn't believe, like, I wish I could just like come backstage and spend like at a halt to somebody in Chicago. And I'm like, they were like, they're playing

songs and they were using like royalty-free images from like stock photos of like young people talking on a phone smiling. Like, they're didn't shit. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. I was just a guest. I was just like, why do you, like, who designed these images to come up? Like, who synchronized this? Because it kind of was like, they're talking about

being on the phone or like, get calling somebody. And when that fucking line came up, there was like a 16 year old on the phone, like sitting on a, sitting at the base of a tree in a park with a big smile on his face. line came up, there was like a 16 year old on the phone, like sitting on it by it, sitting at the base of a tree in a park with a big smile on his face. That's nice.

No. No. Oh, it's not. It's so like fake, it's so plastic, it's so ungenuine. I mean, these guys are in their 70s. There's no fucking teen fucking Chicago fans. Like that sitting in a park right somewhere across the country That should be like an older lady like holding in a rotary phone

It should know it should just be like Like weird imagery like again like psychedelic stuff You don't if you really feel the need to put something behind you like a backdrop don't fucking spray in feel the need to put something behind you like a backdrop. Don't fucking spray in all these stock photos of like, like, like, some of the, like, the metaphors in the songs are like, there's a beacon or a light, and they would show like, like, stock footage photos of lighthouses. You gotta do it like the wall. Yeah. Like, it's the wall. Like, oh, crazy. Yeah. Oh, that was, I saw that, that, that, that, when, what's his name, Tord, with the wall, and they build the wall on stage or tear it down while he's while he's fucking his mind blowing

Yankee stadium Yankee stadium. Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying that they should have like, you know like really fucked up shit or an nude Women running around and they're on their fucking and their movies and sip but not this like real like fake homogenized plastic photos. Like almost like it's like a commercial on TV. It felt like it almost felt like elevator imagery. If there's elevator music, this was elevator images that they were throwing up. And it really took away because like you know what I'd rather have you don't even need images You don't need to put something like something to the eye when you're performing these songs everybody knows It was really weird, but like I said if I had backstage I would love to fucking get a hold of somebody and be like yeah I got sure they're there

I'm gonna actually put it together. Let me add them. Thank you Now that I said I had the exact opposite two weeks ago. I went to go see the Grateful Dead in Co. They're touring with John Mayer. You guys know, he's fucking Mayer. It's one of the sickest guitar players ever. They're doing, it's like a five-hour Grateful Dead concert John Mayer and taking the role that Jerry Garcia, I guess, had. And I'd never, you know, I know maybe, you know, a handful of grateful dead songs. I was never like,

trough, of course, everyone knows truck in touch with gray. Yeah, yeah. All that stuff. You're a top 10 guy. You're not top 10 grateful dead guys. But that's okay. No deep cuts, but, all that stuff. You're a top 10 guy. Top 10 free food that guy. That's okay. No deep cuts, but you know, and never, never, never thought about them as like, like, there was no reason I was never into them. I wasn't like they fucking suck. It was just like, this is a grateful dad.

It's a whole culture that I guess just kind of passed me by. I gotta tell you, man, I might be the newest dead head in the world because it was fucking Awesome, it was one of the best concert experiences. I did not bring my volcano You did not have to You did not have to it was people walk like it's I've never thought I would have a con. First of all, it was in city field. It was in a it was in a baseball like it wasn't like a you know, but I didn't even know they had concerts like this anymore like the whole baseball field was just general admission.

Right. So you know except for that one little VIP area that I was in and then a sky box. Yeah. except for that one little VIP area that I was in. And then a sky box. Yeah, no, no, I was fucking tomb quartz. That was a joke. I was in. I was in. Try it out. He was coming.

I went to, no, I was a joke. I was in the general admission. I was just standing like, and it is exact. Like if I asked you to describe what you think, a grateful dead concert would be like It is exactly what a grateful dead concert is it is the tie-dye It is people walking around with the balloons filled with nitrous it is people smoking weed It's just dancing. Can you go back to that? What is a what is a balloon fill at nitrates?

Nitrous nitrous it's laughing gas They they filled balloons with laughing gas and then during the show, dude, everybody had a fucking balloon full of it. It was like nuts and they're just sucking on it during the show. It's madness and people are like just like... Did everybody sound like Donald Duck? Not healing. No, no, no. Laughing gas.

Oh. Not healing him. Yeah. Yeah. What do I get you? You get like the dentist's office. Laughing gas Laughing gas Yeah, you get like the dentist office. I think just get it It's fucking legally filling balloons dude. It is can buy it online Yeah, it's wall to wall. I don't know. I didn't do it. I'm a fucking impractical Joker. I keep a clean I didn't do any of that stuff, but like the, um, no, I got really fucking baked, dude, some guy gave me a hit on a joint and it fucking sent me, like suddenly like, I was sitting there air guitar and along with John Mayer while he was doing truckin, I'm like truckin, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

it's a long, strange trip, I'm like, I was like, oh, and fucking berserk. But if I told you, Paul, what if I told you all that I fucking took a hit off a stranger's joint at the Chicago show? Uh, I would be like, why did we do talk about anything but that this entire fucking episode? And if I told you I smoked the whole thing after he gave it to me after I got one hit. And he was like, I would be more interested in that than I would be in the Loch�s Monster fucking mystery

being solved. I'd be like, I have to know. What does it look like? What does it sound like, a whole flan against fucking right in the volcano? I gotta know, I would love to know. Yeah, unfortunately that didn't happen though. I know that.

You didn't have to tell us that, we know. But it was fucking, dude, it was like, No. I know that one. You don't have to tell us that, we know. But it was fucking dude, it was like, it was like, and they had the visuals. That's what got me here. They have like, just the trippy visuals on the giant screens going and every once in a while, it'll just cut to like, Bob, we're like playing.

And then like, super-producing. Old footage of them playing, right? No, on stage now He's jamming and then they'll just like superimposes trippy fucking light show on it and the whole audience is just like fucking Mesmerized man, it was like it was why I never experienced anything like that and then since that two weeks ago I've been doing nothing but listening to grateful dead loving it. Like, I'm totally into it now now. Could you see yourself following them around? Yeah, like fish.

Like a lot of the people who dropped off from Grateful Dead and like this band fish. Like Frank three follows fish all over the place. Uh, I could not see me getting into that travel aspect of it, but I'll never miss a show again that I can go to. Does that make sense? Wow. I left that much of it back then, yeah. You said it was five hours long.

It was five hours. It was almost five hours. I know why they applied a five hour set because all the songs are like a slowest shit. They're like so fucking mellowed out. Nobody gives a fuck if it's they're so high. No, they're so playing. No, no, no. Because they're so playing it. No.

Because they're not out there thrashing fucking mad and like putting a toll on their body. Running around the stage. Yeah, they're basically just a step above Brian Wilson. Yeah. Dude, it was fucking awesome, man. And I have never heard live guitar like I heard that night. Yeah, sure. It was crazy. I Didn't because

Way after a while I actually had to leave a little early So I didn't I wanted to get one I would have gotten one but I actually had to leave up like a little bit I want to buy Chicago shirt and when I still and I walked up to the fucking Key-osk I was like, oh, you have that in large and they're like, okay, $55 for a t-shirt. For a t-shirt? It was just like, I don't know what I left my wallet.

I said back with the one misses. I said, I'm the right back. Somebody stole my wallet. I never went back because I'm not- I'm sure they were waiting on you. It's crazy, isn't it? That's nuts. Yeah, I wonder if the grateful dead do that or are they a little bit more like, hey, man,

like capitalism down with it. He has a 20-LT shirt. I wonder if they do that. Yeah, I'm yet to be interesting to find out because they were the anti-establishment. Yeah, it's, dude, the parking lot for city field is turned over into like a market. It's like a pop-up market. It's just all these, there's no way it's legal, but apparently they do it every show.

They just, it's all these tent setup and people just selling everything. Like you could just go there by drugs, by the nitrous, by shirts, by beads, by craft. It's like a whole, it'll be culture. Those hoodies that are made out of that, like that certain material, like a whole, it's gonna be culture. Those hoodies that are made out of that, like that certain material, like a burlap looking shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were people in that. It was something, man. It was, it was an experience I'm glad I, because I don't think I ever would have. What made you go? The writers on the show, what we're going, and I was like, ah, fuck it, I'll go. I liked John Mayer, you guys know I'm a John Mayer, you know, fan anyway. So I was like, I fuck it, I'll go. I like John Mayer, you guys know him,

I'm a John Mayer fan anyway, so I was like, I want to go, I want to go see him perform, it was great. It's fucking crazy. Don't you always feel the people at where those hoodies are like, they're up to something? Well, that's the fucking, you crossed over that line. Yeah.

Like a young bride would never look at a guy in a hoodie and be like, that's a perp. Yeah, no, that's a perp Anybody I see in those hoodies to the police He's gotta be up to something. I Think I'm gonna fucking get one of those burlap style things. I'm so fucking working again tied. I Man, you know, I'm about 46 You know, I'm about 46 Yeah, yeah, maybe dead tattoo I'm I'm into it really you're that into what you're thinking about a tattoo

No, no, okay, yeah, get the skeleton playing the violin, right? That's a big Oh, that would be pretty fucking sweet dude. I started watching the grateful dead movie they made back in the 70s And it's like a time capsule. It's fuck it's like they'll be playing. It's a concert guy. That would be pretty fucking sweet, dude. I started watching the Grateful Dead movie. They made back in the 70s, and it's like a time capsule. It's like, they'll be playing, it's a concert movie, right? But then they'll just like, while the music's still going, but then they'll just cut to like, outside the venue, and it's all these fucking dirty fucking drug that hippie, just smoking joints and pants on the round and shit. That I would never want to take it part of.

They look fucking filthy and smelly, but it looked wild. It looked like just part of a culture that I'm like, man, I'm glad I got hip to it. We missed it. We were a little bit too young for that, like to experience that, you know. Yeah, the whole move to hold the love and peace movement.

Yeah, but I'm in it, man. I'm a new dead head. I'm in it now. Wow. Doesn't take much, right? No, it doesn't. It's seemingly not. I love sharks. I love that.

I love that. I love that. Like, whatever the last thing he did, it's his favorite thing. I didn't say it was my favorite thing. I said, it's the newest thing. It's different. He's a newest thing. It's different. He's a Renaissance man.

He's got many, many, many. Hey man, you gotta grow. You can't just fucking calcify. You end up like a shudden getting visited by fucking kids once a year. You're like, what's that shit? You know? Have those shuddens listen to more grateful dead?

They wouldn't find themselves in that position. I'm just open to new experiences. That's all I'm saying. And it's been rewarding, it's been rewarding. I've been rewarded with the gift of a catalog of that's fucking 50 years old, you know what I mean? Like now I get to dive into that. So those balloons float behind you

when I don't, they're no longer nitrate. They're not even gonna last a fucking day, Walt. I'm done. I'll fucking light up right now. They're not even the last to fucking day world I'm done. I'll fucking light up right now Where is it where's my juice? I don't know that's dangerous though because all those all those sparking joints and roaches I doubt it's I died I don't think they're inhaling flammable stuff at the dentist off this Like dragons. Yeah, yeah. Alright, yeah.

And I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. I would be concerned if you were fucking huffing off a balloon filled with life and get. Yeah, like we started that with the huffing. That would make me say, if I saw that, you doing that. I don't know why. I don't know. You don't got a balloon.

Not even in a concert. Not even like athletic suck. Face is also. Looks like the fucking tin man. Please yeah, please don't get into it so much that you're that you'll ever go balloon. Okay. Um, be careful. And he's going with a one one toe right now But don't get too into it where you're okay, where you got a fuck your how holding on to a fucking balloon like a Like you're in the park selling balloons Yeah, I mean I've never done I've never done acid or anything like that man You know, I should like don't do it go to the show and just fucking just enjoy the music Yeah, yeah, all right the show and just fucking just enjoy the music. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Yeah. That sounds much better. I believe in that. I'm too afraid to do acid. So I think you're safe, buddy. I think you're right. I just do be sad to see, you know, anybody fucking doing

a balloon. I don't know why. I don't know. They didn't look sad. They did not look sad, dude. They were dancing. It was like, people were dancing by themselves. Like it was like, it was something to see.

It was really like kind of interesting to see. Highly recommend. I saw that one when we, Q and I were in New Orleans, we were up on one of the balconies we were looking down and I saw a lady. Remember Q, I was like, she was dancing by herself and I was like, why can't I have fun like that? Like, I would never dance in a concert.

I would certainly never dance. I mean, as I recall, unless I was heavily drugged or maybe. Just the person you're talking about, I think was like 18 and like beautiful and just, yeah, and drunk. She had reasons to dance. I've got to had plenty of reasons.

She was in the middle of the fucking street and she went out of the dark. They got to 10 o'clock then I found the cops. Yeah she better than I have a hoodie on. Tell them Steve Dave.