Tell Em Steve-Dave - #526: Foreign Chicken Fingers

Episode Date: August 21, 2022

Stolen houseplants, Blue October, Bry is a CH from leaving the crooked house behind

I Don't shoot them. I try I don't have it. I don't have I didn't have a gun Yeah, I wanted to, you know, feel that fucking beast in between my legs. Yeah. Yeah, like maybe I can grow my own. Yeah, not a chance. No. No, actually, maybe I'm a fucking... Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave and Walt you know what they say

God does not open a door without or was it what's the saying? He doesn't he doesn't shut a door without opening a window That's close enough good. It's close enough for us because he shut the door in queues face But in through the window crawl to get him Steve Dave The drainage pipes. How y'all stankin? Now how is that caught on, get him? No, but I'm working at it.

I'm working at it. I think it needs your own maybe your own Patreon podcast, how you stankin. I'm not sure what it's about. It is a great idea. I just hold on you stink and I'm not sure what it's about It is a great idea. I just hold on one second. I'm gonna move the mic Okay, I wanted him to have his own solo patreon show where What to rate would 148 where he constantly was just rating things and Pissing on shit and shitting on everything and just by himself himself, just talking to him, selfie, which is to do.

I know. You won't do it, why not? It's difficult. Walt has this delusion. It's the only word I could think of. He has this delusion that on my own, I am funny and hilarious. And like, Abbin and Castello put together when I'm alone.

And I keep telling him it's not true. And then he berates me when it's he finds out it's not true. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you try and then he's like, what the fuck, you let me down. Yeah, I'm like, I need at least somebody else to like bounce off of to get a reaction for it. Sure, of course.

Yeah, otherwise I just kind of know very very few people who can like Bill Burr's one of them who can sit there Tim Dylan like these are season professional comedians I stand by my belief in that A monthly show where he just takes a month of things like in it and it could be movies TV Something political. Let's say let's say the president does something and you don't want to be like, you know, and it's like a sleepy Joe's out of the gun. Or whoever, do you just, you just shit on something and make it like, this is what I would do.

You know, like, I think people would love that. They love that, know it all humor. Again, I'm not, if you want to call it humor. I'm not saying that they wouldn't love the humor. I'm talking about the format of it being just me. The delusion that you could do a better job than everybody, like when Bella check loses a game with the Patriots, you could call out all the bad calls

that he made and you could be like, if I was coaching the team. You should have thrown the football further. That's what he should have told the players to do. So he's the ultimate Monday morning quarterback. Yeah, that's how I visited Vision the show that he would he would just be calling out anything and everyone and then saying This is how I would have did it because that's what he fucking does every single day when he's

I gotta tell you it's a show I would definitely listen to. Right. He's so intimidated when he's left end to be like, okay, I need to do something now. Because we'll take for instance, this week. Last week, we got the invite to be on Chuck's new show on Fun Barrable. Fun Barrable, which I believe is dropping in August Take it from me take it from a 140 you never drop it on that you got to look But we got the invite to be on Chuck's new podcast where he has

He has Ray Harrington and Brad Roker Rorr is coach from the Joe yeah so these guys came in and you know I said you know Chuck's done so much for us you know I was like definitely I'll definitely I want to be on it I want to I would love to be on it and He has given to be on it too so I saw get him with Ray and Brad and Chuck and Chuck but really would Ray and Brad like these guys were throwing out like pop culture references Rapid fire and you the grin between, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that.

I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I was just looking at him. I was like, amazed. I've never seen him in this this excited this like on this like just He was in his glory All the material I can't use during the week because someone stopped watching movies in 1989 And I have to explain or pull up a YouTube video And I have to explain or pull up a YouTube video To get the reference these people knew those references So I so I've been trying to work on this thing on do it my girls where we watch we do a mystery science theater

I do it with my girls okay, and I need to write the riffs and I need but I need help because like it's it's a Fucking big job when you like the riffs for a whole entire movie So I was like well, I saw him and I was just like dude Oh, yeah, the rest for a whole entire movie. So I was like, well, I saw him and I was just like dude You're the fucking Mac daddy man. You're the max daddy of throwing out constant pop culture references to anything and having it be funny Right, and I was like all right, man. Let's watch movie go Do you think any fucking anything fell out of his mouth and the first one I come up with a tumbleweed The first one I come up with a tumbleweed. The first one I come up with, which was billions and billions of stars.

Do you know who that's a reference to? If you gave me enough time, I would know. But I vaguely recognize it, yeah. And especially the affect that you're using. Yes, and he's just sitting there looking at me. Is it Star Wars? It's Carl's, it's Carl's taking a cut. It's it's cross. It's cross-hanging cut cross-hanging Yeah, it's it's not Star Wars though. It's not even close

I just told a wild guess. What the fuck was that? I was like last night you were couldn't shut your fucking mouth And now it's 10 minutes went by and that's the only thing you said was billions and billions of stars But it has to get to joke and I, I guarantee the next three people who walk in the door will know what I'm talking about. And they did. They did? Yeah. Wow.

It was, uh, it was roughing and still. And then, uh, somebody else. Yeah. These guys, though, you're talking about a special breed. Like, Rob seems to be like, he knows everything. It's unbelievable. He sees everything. It's unbelievable.

The amount of shit he sees. I thought I saw a lot. Yeah. But he sees a ton of shit I don't have an answer beyond his podcast, but this is when the light when the lights go on though Mm-hmm, and I need him to like like step up That's what the flops at what's that But no, then we had we had Robin stew in here Ripping as well, right and it was it's a little easier because you're working off somebody else's

Rinse that's what you kept telling me I need to I need to work off somebody I need to work off somebody I go I'm right here fucking spit them out go but every reference. I have to explain to him the reference and Show him a video I Want to keep explaining it to you I the purpose of the science. It hurts my flow and I got to keep explaining it to you. I have to say, Mystery Science Theater would be a different show if that were the format where somebody threw it in a reference that'll kind of get it.

And then they have to explain it. Because I'll tell you, I've watched Mystery Science Theater and I've had to look up with their referencing. You know, because I, okay, I'll be missing it. Yeah, that's not everybody's going to get every reference. But the way you were doing it the night before, like it looked like you couldn't be stopped. It looked like if you just took the off deletion

let you go, that you were gonna riff the entire movie, and then some. And then, but again, I was working off with other people were saying, you know, I'm, you know, like I said, you are the one who thinks that I am a comedic genius. Not me. I'm a genius, yes, I am a comedic genius. Not me. I'm a genius, yes, but not a comedic genius.

American, that's the, that's the, know it all, you ever need on what to read with 148. Coming soon on, it's gonna happen. That's the arrogance you need. Yes. Do you, do you find it hard? Because I know personally, like I would have never gotten that carl-sake in reference.

But personally, I do find it harder and harder as I get older to remember what what something came from somebody somebody quoted when I was at Mary Beth somebody quoted what if they quote I can't remember what they quoted but I thought it was a Simpsons and I made the mistake of like hot degree Simpsons reference and then I had to pull back and be like oh wait no wait That's not the simpsons And then it was like fucking comery boy or something like that Oh, I came sad and futile. Yeah, it's confused old man I believe you said the same thing happens with very best you give her a way

Where am I slippers? I believe you said that I'm a very Beth, where like you give her references and she has no clue what you're talking about because she wasn't even born yet. Yeah. But it's a gamma movie we're trying to do. So give him that one that the turtle one would like turtle. It might not turtle enough for the turtle club turtle. Turtle.

Now again, like if I had to guess, I would guess like teenage mutant Ninja Turtles, just because I had turtles in it. But it's like looking at me like, duh! Yeah, I have no idea what he's talking about either. It's a Dana Carby what we call Master of the Skies. It's like a, it's a bad call.

Oh, I remember that movie. Everybody hated it when it came out. Yeah, they still kind of do, but it's the impressions that there's certain lines that really hit. So that's why I'm like, you know what? Let's just do a ping pong episode of the Sunday Juck Show. This is way too fucking hard. It's so much work to do a fucking to riff a movie. Yeah. Yeah, tell me about it. We in fact, I want to ask you because there was God, this is going back to COVID times. We were going

to, we did kiss Phantom of the Park. But before that, we were going to do one about this like weird Robin red, red, red, red honeymoon. Oh, yeah. And I did like 90% of the movie. And then you changed your mind. I think you're going to want to do it. Oh, yeah. If you still got it, yeah, give it to me because I'll utilize them in this camera I'm gonna be even if they don't make any sense Then was the I was the Sherry Sherry Lewis reference. Oh Yeah, do you remember Sherry Lewis? Yeah with lamb chop, right? Yeah, you start throwing out Sherry like how I get it and I'm like, okay

Now I know you're trying to play to a crowd of one I said, but nobody else is gonna get it So try to think a little bit more. I want pop culture shit that you were talking about last night for people who aren't like me Well, we were talking about it's something like something that was absolute evil and I was gonna go at Mr. Rogers and I thought that was a You know wasn't good. So I went for like the next best thing of wholesome of Sherry Lewis and Lambchop So what what a scene it must Be for all these people sitting here trying to fucking out with each other. Like how pleasant that must be is. It's a great.

What's Chuck show about? What's this new show about? I don't think it has a real format. I think it's just, it could be about anything. Yeah, but he said that now he, much like me, felt that at a point His show got up into numbers that were too intimidating for anybody to right come on board I think he's got 500 episodes as well and he said that he felt it was a stumbling block

And I like and getting new people to come on and try it because the numbers were just too high and they're like, ah You know, it's got 500 episodes. I'll never catch up on them. Right. So they don't even bother. So he's starting over. He's nuking his original podcast. Y'all chucking Brad. Yeah.

Now it's fun, Barry. Well, we can sit back and we can watch. We can see if it works for him. That's right. If he gets new listeners. I've gone back. Like, I think the most was about a hundred episodes.

I listened to the Who Are These Podcasts. Like I listened to it and I liked it and I was like, well there's just a hundred episodes so I got something to listen to. So that's, very. Yeah. Yeah, most people, like if we're 500 episodes, well it depends how much I liked it

because I really do like it a lot. So I might be like, wow, I've got content for fucking years now. I think like if there's a show, if there's a podcast that follows a show that helps too if you're going in the higher numbers because you're at least following a format as it was or you can go back to like a specific episode, like doing a Simpson podcast.

Right. I know they do like, they do the new thing is like talking sopranos, you know, like where people from the cast come and talk and, uh, and the office ladies and I listen to the office leaves one of the episodes. I know Frank likes it, but I hated it. And I was like, who the fuck are you still doing? Yeah, I think they're still doing it. I'm like, I'm still going on. Who the fuck does this shit that I thought of behind the fake counter? I was like, oh, wait a second. We do this shit. Yeah, I guess I believe they're still going. I mean why not? They make tons of money and advertising

You know, it's just like as soon as Jennifer and Angela Kinsey show up. It's like they know they're gonna be able to make some money, so It's easy work too. you're just gonna remember shit. Dude, and they don't even have to do that. They're just like the smallest remembrances, they feel are worth focalizing and you're like, this sucks, this is not behind. Like when at least we do it, we give behind the scene shit.

Like stuff to- We were giving out dirt. Yes. And if you're not listening to, to behind the scene, shit, like stuff to- Yeah, we're giving out dirt. Yes. And if you're not listening to behind the fake counter, if you're not on Patreon, you want scandalous, yeah, fucking curtains drawn. Then go to patreon.com slash T-E-S-D. Yeah, I mean, behind the scene stuff,

some of that, I feel some people don't want to hear, because they like that, they like wall stuff something that some I feel some people don't want to hear because they like that They like wallowing in that ignorance of like reality TV. Yeah, like oh, yeah Yeah, I don't want to say how the sausage is pulled back too far and you're like this was fake This is fake this is fake this was fake this was fake Now they like what the fuck what was real? It was real to me man Hey, what's up from that's a viral video about

It was real to me man. Hey, what's up from that's a viral video about Some sort of pop culture reference I can tell when your eyes start to flutter See there you go right that down so you got it We can work that in Gamma is isn't it an exceptionally bad movie? Gamma movies. Yeah, they're really really bad really horrible This one is in particular even more horrible because it's pulling from other horrible films to make really bad movie. Gamera movies, yeah, they're really, really bad, really horrible. This one is particular, even more horrible because it's pulling from other horrible films

to make a, yeah, all the Gamera footage, it's stock footage from previous movies. Oh, really? Film a new Gamera. Yeah, it's coming in October. It's a Halloween. So the inner, yeah, so all the in-between stuff is just made to fit the movie somehow and to work around it. Yeah, it's pretty bad. So it's happening.

It's happening. Well, I mean, I think it's happening because, I mean, we've been working on it now for, I've been working on it really hard for about a week now. Yeah. I've been watching the movie about 25 times. Whoa. I've been working it for like two months. If you're going to be like, wow, this is horrible.

I can't believe it. It's 20 years old. You put that much time into it. What else is going on? Oh, not a bunch. I'm better. I think I was on the cusp of COVID at one point. Oh, OK.

Maybe a variant? Could have been a variant because I got like, it only lasted like one day, but I got like the headache and the fever and all that shit. Badly, but then for like a week and a half, then it was like, because I came in the other day and my voice was still all fucked up. So I think I may have gotten some very

an open. It's going around TSD town, Mrs. Five. Mrs. Five, how's it? I mean, I feel like Frank's the kind of husband you ask very little of. And that's what you receive. Yes, anything you do get is a bonus. Right. Yeah. I'm telling you when I had COVID, man, there was no, like, I was literally like, I thought my wife was gonna fucking nail the door shut other bedroom. Why would you keep calling her?

No, because she was so terrified that I was gonna leave the bedroom because I hit the bedroom, has a bathroom connected to it, so I don't have to leave the bedroom. Right. So, but she was so Terrified like if I open the door she's like what are you doing you can't come out? She was like militant about like me not leaving that bedroom for any reason because I have there was no reason for me to leave the bedroom Mm-hmm.

When I was feeling better towards day nine and... That's a long time to be in one room. I couldn't get I couldn't um break the fever like every time I felt better I would take my temperature and like fuck I still got a fever though. So I still wasn't allowed to leave the room and they she left to go shopping or do some errands. I didn't know. I didn't know what he was in the house. I thought I was all alone in the house. And I was like, you know what?

I need a drink. I go, so I walked downstairs. My oldest daughter was downstairs. I didn't know it. And then I still didn't know it. And then I get a text from my wife. She goes, why did you leave the room? Oh, what a rat.

It's like a kid who was grounded trying to sneak out to a party. But you know, I'm not a rat. I was like a kid, it was grounded trying to sneak out to a party. I was like, I'm thirsty. Well, I was, I guess I should have texted Caitlin to see if she, to bring me up a drink, but I didn't know she was even home. But you know what though, that, those actions, nobody else got sick in the house though. Nobody else called it though. That's true. I'm just picture him like lowering a picnic basket out the window.

Like, like food inform, and he gets to pull it back up. Yeah, that sucked though. Yeah, 10 days of staying in a room with fucking bonkers man. Watching the same shows every day. Mm hmm. Wait, isn't that what you do here at some other bed? Yeah, but I didn't have Pluto though, so I have to watch just cable. And so I just watched the game show network and it's the same shows every fucking day. Same shows and the commercials drive me crazy. Especially when I'm oh,

just that would have been around Medicare time. So there's all those commercials telling you to switch up your Medicaid plans. Why in December? Yeah. And then I never to be getting into this because it happens and happens right around Bob. I was kind of stuff I want to hear on camera. to be getting into something because it happens and happens right around mom. Kind of stuff I want to hear on camera. And that's a pop culture reference. I was like, those are the ones I'm talking about. I start watching, you know, because I'll put on forensic files at night when I go to sleep and some, most of them, I've, in fact, I've seen all of them several times, but Roku

channel has, I don't know if you have ever watched a Roku channel. I've heard. It's really strange. It's like it'll show, you know, you'll be watching the show and then it'll go to commercial and they'll have like a commercial and then I guess they can't sell the time because the time was just worthless, a commercial time. So it's like, we'll return with forensic files in 30 seconds and then there's just a countdown. It's not like we get that on Vivo, yeah. If they don't show, if they don't put enough ads in, it does that. Yeah. It's like a holding screen. Now, absolutely makes total sense that you would fall asleep to shows devoted to murders

to shows devoted to murders and grisly ends. But do you think though that like, is it possible though that like maybe if you just listen to something else with the same kind of cadence and the what and kind of ASMR ASMR vibe as that guy speaking that maybe because this is something Curtis. I thought it was a good time. It's a Peter Curtis. I thought it was what Curtis.

No, it's up Peter Thomas. Okay. But you would look like a real asshole if you had busted that out the other night. What Curtis right there? What Curtis is American justice. But I would have to think it's not mentally healthy to fall asleep, to listening to like,

spouses murdering. And it usually is, it's usually not something mild, it's usually like, holy, and those early episodes, I cannot believe what they show. And he decided he would get rid of her remains by putting her into a wood chip. I just watched that one. I was at the one where they fell asleep to that one.

I did, hella craft, yeah. Is that the one where they end I fell asleep at that one. I did, hella craft, yeah. Is that the one where they end up founding? Because like he was doing it on like a, like his, this is like a river and like someone saw that had like... It was like three in the morning and he has his wood chipper down there by the river thinking no one's gonna come by and somebody drives by and they're like, oh, oh. Like kind of in, like in Fargo, which is, it's based on, in Fargo,

remember there was that when they killed the cop, when Steve Buschemi and Peter Stormer killed the cop, and that car drives by real slowly, and then Peter Stormer takes off after and when they flip and then they die. What came first, Fargo or the real murder of with the wood chipper? The real wood chipper, murder. So that Fargo, or the real murder of with the woodchipper? The real woodchipper murder.

So that Fargo took that story? Are they Fargo Barrows? Fargo Barrows, yeah. I did a good job to not make it seem like documentary-ish. You know, it's like it's in there, but it's like it's not the wife that gets woodchipped. I mean, these are spoiler alerts from 1995, but it's not the woman who gets wood chip. There's a couple like variants and stuff. And they're like, and it's like in the backyard

of like a cabin or something. But like, look, I've had, in fact, not talking about Mary Beth, of course, but my most recent girlfriend, there are many times had a wood chipper been on hand. But I'm just like, how do you like, who's the guy who like, because again, what it comes down to a lot of times is an affair. They have an affair and they feel like if, and the right, if I get divorced,

I'm going to lose half of everything or I'm going to lose my house or I'm going to lose this or that. So they're like, it's better to murder them. Even I didn't feel that way. Well, I mean, yeah, it's, how many though of all the people that caught, do you think they're more that do get away with it? Because I think it's,

I think it's not, it's an attempt on a pretty big scale by guys who just get like, I could do it. I could pull it off. Or they just think they're so crazed by that point by what their wife is doing with the kids or the violence or whatever they're like. They're like, fuck, I'm going to do it. That's when you get sloppy.

First of all, your suspect number one, you're the first guy they're going to look at. I wonder if it's easier to catch you now because like the digital footprint center everywhere of like they can just, they can pull your search history. Oh yeah, if you did it in the 90s, you might have had a much better chance of getting away with it. You would just hope that yeah, like you, as long as I learn how to use the card catalog and don't ask the librarian, where's your books on Merz?

Well, they have people even there, where like, you know, they, some of the later episodes are when cell phones first started like becoming popular and They're pinging them off of cell phone towers and shit, and this is the kind of thing that like people couldn't have known at the time But now there is more information Than ever about how to get away with every little thing first off. Don't bring your fucking phone with you Like some of this stuff was just shocking. It's like even back then, to have an electronic device that other people can contact you with and be like, I guess I'll

bring this on the murder. No, leave it home. So in case they can track it, in case they can track it, there's a thing known as a CSI effect, which it works in both ways. they can track it in case they can track it. Yeah. There's no one place all night. There's a thing known as a CSI effect, which it works in both ways. It's a problem for lawyers because jurors and juries believe that like everything is exactly like it is on CSI. So like when anything happens they're going to they're going to collect five nice, tidy little bow on every little question that Jerry has like you know Just a partial fingerprint is enough to just punch it into a computer and they're gonna find the you know the killer and everything else like that

but it's also conversely of Criminals now know the steps that a real forensic team may take and learn to get around that. Yeah, I think there's enough that they probably don't show Yeah, that you know your average right? to get around that. Yeah. I think there's enough that they probably don't show. Yeah. You know, your average rate. And a lot of people are fucking dumb too. A lot of people make really dumb mistakes. Oh, I always love when someone hires a hitman. And it's like 99% of the time, if you were hiring a hitman, it is an undercover cop.

Are you sure you want this done really short? Like the way they say it, you're just like, um, no. And then they always do that. Are you sure you want this done really short like the way they say it here just like um no Did you know they always do that are you a cop because you have to tell me if you're a cop Do you think the entertainment industry has agreed though not to show every aspect of Of what the CSI team has to do Do you think that there's some things that they've agreed that they won't reveal to the general public? I don't believe so though. I I don't believe that. I think- I don't think so either.

I think- I think- I think you're right. I think entertainment is like when they're like, it's paramount. It's number one entertaining the people keeping them, fucking riveted to that screen. We don't care how much we give away.

I think if maybe one show misses something, another show will probably pick it up and cover it like if you watch a bunch of them together You know, it's you get the whole message But I don't know if you guys remember what I remember like when I would like when I was younger And I would like read to the back of magazines. They would have those subliminal learning courses That you would listen to a tape while you slept and it was supposed to to cheat you so do you feel that? Watching forensic files is like your sleep learning? Yeah, I don't know. I think I've seen it enough times that when I was awake that uh,

I would catch up but but you're right. Yeah, like that subliminal like baby mode, start type shit. Yeah. Maybe it's making me smarter in terms of being able to kill somebody. Yeah, I tried that when I was younger when I was trying to get out of the habit of bedwetting. Well, I made it my made a tape. This was your own voice. I was Got my father to come in on it and I think my mother as well. Oh Especially about the subject matter though, but the subject matter It's like that's a Freudian fucking... No, I dream Freud himself would be fucking coming back.

No, I'm trying to be like, I don't even know what to make of this. What was it? You will wake up, you will use the bathroom and not wet the bed. Who said that? That was, that was, that was how I would do it. And then like my father was trying to improvise. I still have this tape. No, oh my god, it would be, it would be fucking, you know how much money you can sell

that tape for? How much much money you can sell that tape Or how much content we can make all that tape That's a shame mother coming in say it was it was pretty much the same thing, but they would like try to No, no, no, no, they would try to voice They would try to improv on it, you know like you know my father be like listen sunny You do not you're not gonna wet the bed, you know, you would like try to throw his own bed. How old were you at the time? Ah.

12, 13. This makes so much sense, though, and how fucked up he is. Yeah. Right? Right. Not turn your line, your reason is a problem for many people. Yes, but the very fact that you employed your mother and your father and yourself to try to break the habit.

Off of whose advice? Did any doctor say make yourself a tape and go to sleep to it I saw these subliminal these subliminal sleep messages this is what you've done your entire life is is prescribed yourself your own remedies this is what this work I'm sure it will I according to those ads of having never according to those ads it was guaranteed to work so I figured one why not save a couple bucks I got a tape record I don't need a real doctor I got this magazine I had tried to real doctor techniques they had these It was a special thing that like it was called a diaper

But no, there was this thing that clipped to my shoulder and it had this like these metal plates that slid into a little pouch on my Underwear and when it got wet it would beep and that was supposed to wake you up and never worked for me I would sleep right through it it was yeah I tried all the the you know we went to the doctor about it. I mean I mean it I got ahead of you man like at 12-13 there was not one person in my life where I but where I could can I confide something to you? Like I'm I'm pissing the bed. I can I need you to I need to record you while I can find it. So I can my parents I can re-listen to your reaction over and over and over.

Here's a script for you. My parents know it because I had been letting my bed my whole entire life up to that point. But then you go to them and you're like, I'm gonna make a tape. I was like, I have an idea. And you know, I said, you know, I said like it's like subliminal messages learn why you sleep It'll get into my subconscious and maybe it'll help me did it work. Do you feel no?

It did not work. I eventually I hit I hit a point. I think it was like 13 and I just got stronger Are yeah, I don't know exactly what it was. There's our bladder exercises you could have done I don't I don't like holding don't know. So, kegals. So, kegals. Just like holding it like scrunches and or maybe like, you know. I don't know, I didn't read about that in the magazine, so. So, you just had to wait. Yeah. It happened to one of my uncles as well.

He, you know, he, uh, because I slept at his house sometimes. So, you know, they were aware of the problem. What did you hate it? You know, if you sleep sober and he's like, Uncle Walt. I need you to help me make a tape because something happened to him. No, I didn't ask my uncle to do it, but he had the same problem.

And he still lied to you to come over? Yeah. Okay. I mean, not for nothing, but I would be like, you know what, little get him. You know, I'm busy this weekend. You can't come over. And every weekend.

No. I mean, that's them all then, but it's just, I don't want to deal with that. It's just, it's too much. It's way too much. It's too much for, it's not too much for a parent because that you're kid. Any extended family beyond that, it's too much. Well, by then I was wearing like undergarments and stuff like that. And you're in your teenager, you have a much bigger bladder.

It's got to be absolutely horrendous to clean up. It's all over the floor. It's not gonna be dumping like a fucking... I was wearing ice cooler that of melted ice. I was wearing undergarments. At this point in time, they had things like depends and stuff like that. Adults under garments. No, no, it was anybody, anybody outside of your family, were they aware like any of

your friends? No, not really, but I couldn't really go spend time at anyone's house, like do a sleepover. Didn't you do the camp? My summer camp counselors knew about it. But by then I was kind of just on the cusp of passing me You know, I was getting over it. So, but you know, they were told just in case it happens You know, I tried to give your younger self like a kidney stone or something

You know, so like anything to block it I a knob Trust me. I wanted it to stop. I didn't want I didn't want to keep wetting the bed Right. No, I understand. I like I wonder if there was, like, you know, kidney stones would've worked, right? No, because that makes you get the urge constantly. Oh, okay, I thought it blocks it up. It does block it up, and then it eventually passes, so. Did you try to just sleep deprivation, maybe?

I tried so many, I would try not drinking so many hours before bed and whatever it was, it was just something I just forgot hypnotism That's what I was trying to do with it with tape, but would it from a real hypnotist? No, I didn't go to see it Not that I remember Sure someone counts back from 10. I'll start clicking like a chicken Did you show any other signs of cuz like let's say they say that's one of the signs of

Tree ad, right? Yeah. No, not that I know of. No hurting animals. You don't seem like an animal hurt and type of guy. No, I would, I would torment my cats, but my, my, didn't you kill groundhogs, though? Yeah, that was later on in life.

Did you kill groundhogs? Yeah. What for? They were digging holes in our paddock, and if a horse steps in it, they'll break a leg, we have to put a horse down. So they was only animals that were inside the coming in front of you. Can you come up with a humane way, like a humane cage to get the groundhog? Well, that's what I was doing.

I was catching him in a cage and then I was either drowning them or oh my God. The sounds like Mary Beth. The sounds like Mary Beth's out of place though. Like they act like small like ground hogs and muskrats and stuff like that. Their lives are meaningless. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to deal with it.

I find like I don't want to deal with vermin, but I certainly also don't want to hear them screaming as like I killed them. You just throw them in the shoot. I don't have a gun. So I tried. Why was it left up to you? Because I was the one there.

Why couldn't you? It wasn't another farmhand that you could have went to. No. No. You were the only farmhand. Yeah. That was your only responsibility. Well, that was not my only responsibility.

It was one of my responsibilities. I tried with a bow and arrow and those things were extremely tough. I was going to say that would be difficult to be accurate with a bow and arrow and those things are extremely tough. I was going to say that would be difficult to be accurate with a bow. No, I would literally be like on top of them through the hole in the cage and let loose and they still survive. Yeah. Yeah, they're really tough to kill. So what's the other triad?

It's fire starting. Oh my God. I'm a pretty good fire starting. Oh my God. I'm a pretty good fire starter. No, just injured like stare into a fire used to build a fire on the farm and stare at a for hours. No, I would be like listening to birdie muskrats. I would be listening to podcasts and stuff and I would keep adding stuff to the fire. Yeah, but you would you would find anything to burn, right?

Yeah, like it's like yeah, yard like neighbors like you know Amazon packages. No I'm not a boxer. I'm not gonna burn a box. I gotta go up in the attic. No but uh something down the street from us uh that's how they got rid of theirs was they would drown them and then they had a pond with snapping turtles so they would drown it in the pond and then just dump the body in the turtles would eat it. It's gotta be a camera, joke, and you're. Yeah. So, but then I resorted, I found out by happenstance, I left one in a trap one day for like two or three hours in the sun and it just dropped dead.

So that was my method from then on. What's it torture them at that? No, they just, they can't regulate their body heat. Right. Or so they just like they start getting tired and sluggish. And then they just die. They just fall asleep. Yeah, and die.

Huh. So, as a domineering, as Edgar was when I was a kid in terms of, look, you better do this. I feel like I would stop short of, like, you better drown this animal. I just don't think I could have done it. I think not coming from a farm background. I think you and I both Mm-hmm look at that as so far and so like In

Tensely like bizarre inhumane it feels like It's shit like that. There's a horse could a course could step in their hole and when it's a horse breaks its leg Then we got to put the horse down. It's like a 10 pound creature versus a 1,500 pound creature. Well a creature that's worth money versus one that's just annoying. Yeah or even like one of our pregnant mayors then you know she you know you're killing the mayor and the foal if it breaks its leg. You know how many people listen to TSD in the heartland sure. That's our base. But you know how many of them have probably, you know, they know, you know, that this is not.

So we should throw all our way behind drowning muskets. Come on. So muskets love. That's an old one. Not for you. Not for you. Not for you. Happened into you.

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I mean, I can picture Cooper on pajama Fridays, which is a staple at the TSD town general store wearing a meundees hoodie. I can't tell. The meundees official website, yeah, I'm not, uh, I'm seeing a lot of great stuff, but I'm not seeing any, I'm not seeing any hoodies hoodies. But that would be a weird fabric for a hoodie. I can't feel like. Yeah, it's on the outside. The modal.

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You got music, is this again? It It's like they call it art rock, which I don't really know what that means. But it's like, I mean, it sound immediately it brings to guys and skinny jeans. They're kind of hipster-y looking. Yeah, they're definitely skinny-y-y rock, I call it. Skinny-y-y rock. That's really what it should be called.

In fact, that's what I'm going with from now on. Thanks to you Relabling every song in his iPod But there is no SKS J Can't believe I can blank it on an acronym here for SDR S.J. Are you okay? Yeah, no you're good Wow, I can't believe I blank it on an acronym here for STR. STR, okay. So, no, you're good. So, I didn't have to stay for the Mayan Act,

which was nice, because I don't like the Goo Goo Dolls. Why you're the Goo Goo Doll fan? I like some of their songs. But these bands be on Lithium? I don't know. We don't know exactly what is the threshold for lithium. Lithium is alternative rock. Any band that came from Seattle would be that's a lithium is the oh let's consider lithium. That's the well that's the channel on serious.

Okay. Where you play it. I thought Bloom October and Google I know do go dolls definitely get on serious. Then than probably blue I get the skip button whenever Google dolls song comes on I don't even know one but we've also heard you too on lithium which you yeah which I was like bullshit was a good half hour long on my back with Florida about whether you two belong down the alternative channel I don't think they do I just think they're two mainstream there was one album they had which was kind of alternative okay well go ahead though Yeah, I was gonna say the the best thing about is like blue October opened and I don't like it's one of those bands

Where I'm like I can take them or leave them out. I don't hate them And now I now that she plays the songs I recognize the songs a little bit more, but she's like she's crazy Crazy fan. She's like like she's a pain levels of grow up in crazy Yes, no, yes, so you have two women in your life Both obsessed with other band these bands. Yeah, they don't they don't know where the line to draw it to be drawn is They've crossed the line you feel I feel yeah, like it she listens to it a lot She listened to it so much before The concert because she wanted to know every words every song like she went

She already didn't know well, they got a lot of songs So she so she went on and like this got the set list So that way she would know, you know exactly what songs are coming up and to me the best thing about The show was like blue October opens and I'm like all right That's gonna be what 45 minutes an hour tops and then we get to go and we get to beat out all the traffic PNC. Oh, I see better right around the street from our house. Yep, 15 minutes away. That would have been Thursday. It would have been what days today? Saturday Saturday. No, it would have been last

Last Saturday, I believe yeah, they was last Saturday But she had a couple drinks while she was there so she started feeling sick So I fucking had to sit through half of the Google doll show anyway, because she's like I just want to sit down here for a little while Just too, but I guess they were strong. She's she's small and they're strong. So yeah, they knocked her out. I was like god damn it I really I really thought we were gonna get out of it And then they started playing the hits, like all those hits from the fucking 90s that you hate, like that you just can't stand.

I can't remember if I ever hold you. Who are we talking about, that good old guy? How much were drinks? Oh, it was a lot. Yeah, it was the first one was, yeah, I think it was the 21. For like a little whiskey and water or something or whatever they put in it. It was like a, oh no, whiskey, it was like flavored whiskey, like pineapple flavor. It was something like that. Anyway, I was surprised how many people were there.

Like, if you were like, hey, or the goo does popular, I'm like, no fucking way, not anymore. But there's like, like when you went to Chicago, there is a certain segment of the population who that was there, that was their jam back then and they're like, I'm gonna get a chance to go see them, sure, why not? It's all especially post pandemic, I think, I think that's also bringing a lot of people out.

Just do anything. You didn't pay for the meat and green? I did not, nor would I ever. Really? No. Because that shit's too expensive, man. Oh, come on, come on, once. anything you didn't pay for the meat and green I did not nor would I ever really no because that's too expensive man oh come on once I mean she's already madam yeah because they're her whole family loves the band so like they've gotten they've gone to multiple shows they've got to meet me like you know like parents to talking dad when we were when we were that's even waiting and I have in your hands make you a

little tape little tape I should have made a little tape like listen to a different band I know there are guys out there that like you know my dad's my best friend and you know like we go to we go to games and we go to rock shows together. We kiss each other. Oh, was that a Tom Brady? Yes. We kiss each other.

But I just don't think I could deal with loving the same band my mom had did. It just would feel so like I need my own space. I need to like be my own individual. Right. They do not feel that way. They don't need to be individuals not not in terms of blue October. I'm imagining there's like there's like a

family picnic barbecue or something and they got the music on and they switch on Google dolls and they all start singing at the same time Monday not good. Oh, I don't talk to a little October they like they're all singing blue October and Brian just sitting there like looking around. How did she meet them? I? Think it's when she was much younger they there was like a concert somewhere in Ohio Cleveland or Columbus or something So they they paid for the meet and greet

Okay, cuz I paid for the meet and greet for Alicia for power more There's a talk about power Paramore. It was just talking about Paramore. I thought that mark on you for me. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. We were talking about how, like you were assistant. It's so weird.

We were talking about it yesterday. When you were standing in the hallway and somebody's like, who's Walt Flanagan? Yeah. And you're just like, let's go. I'm not going to explain how we got in here. That's great. Now is she still into all those same bands? Oh, it's, yeah.

She, sheed Jettison's, Jettison's bands constantly as more, hip or more obscure bands. I'll never get, I'll never see the light of day as I become her new favorite. Like, like the most obscure, I'm talking about like, three people will show up to see them play at a refinery somewhere. And yeah, like if they have any level of success, no, they're she's not interested anymore then. Oh yeah. Yeah, we got to put those concert at the bottle dump.

Now, do you you don't accompany her anymore? No, she would never she wouldn't have it At those days a long gun license forget it I was a means to an end You know at the time you're just fostering a little I mean the ticket that she goes see shows for it guess how much the tickets are They I mean they can't be more than five dollars right like eight dollars Or at the most I heard 15 and there's one time that she wrote a $15 ticket and then found out that she couldn't go and she was devastated.

Be quick, not because I spent the money already and I'm like, it's $10. Right. It's $10. I go, are you kidding me? You find that on the floor. Like I thought she was upset that she couldn't, that she was not gonna miss it.

She was upset that she paid for the ticket in advance and then something else came up that she'd rather do. But she was so devastated that she had spent them on you and wasn't gonna get the money back. Go check my chair. I think there's that much spare change that fell out of my pockets. The ticket prices are fucking nuts man.

For the band to, you wanna see? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They're not, it's not $8. It's like I was like I want like kid rock is playing at PNC any day now I saw we drove by the sign any day and I'm like I would like to see Kid Rock But not I don't want to I don't care about Kid Rock's music I don't want to really see Kid Rock. I want to see the people that go to a Kid Rock show. Yeah, I want to see those flags waving

I want to have any red hats you can see yeah, I want I want to see all the all the the fucking make he put out a video that was so it was so bad people thought it was a parody video but it was actually his video. Yeah there's there's a song there's a song that he matches Sweet Home Alabama with some other song. And it was a very big hit. No, I'm talking 10 years ago. All right. So it's been a while since he's been getting airplay. Yeah, I believe so.

But I guess that kind of is true for almost every band from the 90s, though. It's like you rarely hear about like big hit albums or singles from, I mean, it's just, it's not existing. It's all nostalgia stuff now. Oh, wow, the brand new Vitamin C album dropped. She was a singer in the 90s. Oh, okay, I didn't get it. Vitamin C when I got.

Captain Antennail, keep those coming. No, you those coming. No, your audience. Yeah, the Patreon audience is going to have to have the internet constantly looking up all these references that you get, but no one else does. Finally, get to move this week. That's the biggest news. All packed up. No, we're not all packed up.

The house is in packed up, but the like the pod is on its way and oh, we gotta just take the shit out of the storage unit. But I don't know, like I mean, you bought a house quite a while ago. Do you remember money just fucking flying every which way? Closing costs deposit, the lawyer, this guy, that guy, the appraiser, the fucking inspector. I'm just like, it gives me fucking adjada. I can't handle it. I'm like, I saved for fucking three years. It's like barely did anything, hardly traveled, you know. Cooper, what, what, what, what, what do you, what do you love so much about my leg?

He wants you to pet them, man. Oh, oh, it does. Oh, it's pet him then. Yeah. If you pet him, he's like, look you. Okay. That's his way of saying, like, he's been trained now to like, not trained.

He's like, he's trained you. He's conditioned, yeah. He's trained us. He's conditioned me. Yeah, that if I, if I lick him, he'll keep petting me. I mean, he'll pet me out, you know. He won't keep petting me. He'll pet me out. You know, he won't stop petting me. He's a smart dog because I start petting him and he's at least stopped.

You can't see him waving down there. That's the other thing he does. Oh yeah, I've seen his wave. Yeah, and it's just like to just see all that money just go. It's like, and I know I'm getting something out of it, but there's still a part of me that I'm just like, this makes me feel sick to my stomach. Yeah. Having never bought a house and also having never gotten married,

are they similar in like the way that works? Stress-wise? Or like paying out money for things. Yeah, yeah, the wedding, I mean, the wedding not nearly. Okay. I just, I know that like the caterer, the wedding, I mean, the wedding not nearly. Okay. I just don't know if I don't know if I can like the caterer, the florist, this person, the venue, that that person, that that person, that DJ.

Yeah, there's many expenses, but they just don't amount to as much, I guess, is the thing. And I don't know, there was something about like the wedding that was like, all you got wealth, you didn't go, get them fucking jerk. But like, what was there? Like, but like everybody was there,

so it made it that much more fun. It made it seem like it was worth the money because you have all, like anybody you love is there. You know, unless they got the cut off by the 30 person rule. That I don't love you, it's just, know, you just you just you just didn't make it But the but the house it's like now all I can think of is Now here comes the painting and here comes the fucking hanging up of shit

Actually Mary Beth was like do you think it would help me? He's good. He's good. He help me? He's good at hanging stuff up. You know why I'm good at hanging things up? Because she left me a detailed diagram. He is not, you can't just be like, here's six pieces of artwork hang them. No, that's enough to make, he'll go swallow a signite capsule. Cracking that too. Because you haven't told them where you want them exactly,

like to the inch, like you know, well on that wall, that's not good enough. He's still going to swallow the sign-eyed back, because he doesn't know exactly where on the wall it has to go. So Mary Bethel, when we moved in, she left me these nice detailed diagrams of where every piece of artworks should go and it would water and everything and it worked out perfectly from there. every piece of artworks should go, and it wouldn't water and everything, and it worked out perfectly from there. Yeah, I was gonna say, you did a pretty good job. I adhered to that, like you wouldn't believe.

So your job was to nail the hook in, and then just hang it up. Well, yeah, but then, but at least you know, like where to start, like where's your center line, and then you base the distances apart based on the space of the frames and everything. Yeah, I have to say it concerns me to, because I get this house, I don't have the crooked house,

I don't have to do anything. If something goes wrong, I'm just like, I could call somebody and they do it. You need to get yourself a handyman on speed dial. Yeah, and Ernie seems pretty busy these days, so I have to find out. You have to find yourself a newbie. There's a lot, but I don't like the handyman that like the people at the Crooked House have because it's like

Their handyman is like their electrician. It's their plumber. It's their out. It's their rougher. It's like this fucking guy He's not good in any of it But they're like oh the handyman or they won't call the handyman. They'll call them the the electrician I'll find out where Deb. There's this site For Middletown where you can leave reviews. Oh, yeah, she's found a lot of good people Angees list Angees This one specific to Middletown and as all Middletown residents leaving reviews for people we found a few pretty good

people to work on the house through it. Yeah, like, as I see people painting rooms and like, the way that I'm gonna have to do it is tape out everything. I mean, you know, I'm gonna explain this, everybody knows how you paint a room. But like, then you see these guys who come in and they have like those sprayers. Yeah. like then you see these guys who come in and they have like those sprayers. They're just like, yeah. Do the wall and they're fucking done. It's like, that's awesome. But how much does that cost? That's the question, you know. If you need a bird out of a chimney or anything,

I don't know how to help you out there. You know what I did notice when I came in? Are you having problems with people stealing your plants? No. Because there's a plant out there. Oh no, because it's since the weather's actually cooled down a little. I've been putting it out in the back door. And I don't want anybody just to walk off and think that it's just left there by itself.

So I let you know, ever walk into an office, walk into a building, walk into any structure, see a plant and be like, that's just there by itself. I'm going to take it. It's out. No, it's because it no, it's out. Shush! I wanna hear his answer.

I mean, my answer is no. No, no, no, I wouldn't. What? Would you ever think so? It wouldn't even occur to me. Won't leave that plant there? No. Would you ever notice it?

Even if it was my plant, I would feel that I could put it out and not think that any, but because it's so foreign. The plant could be on fire, and I wouldn't even notice it. Yeah. It's just because I'm put it out and not think that any but because it like it's so foreign. The plan could be on fire and I would be I wouldn't even notice it. Yeah. It's just because I'm putting it out by the back door, which is close to the dumpster.

You think so? He's going to throw it in the dumpster. Yeah, really? Yeah. Yeah. Even though it's really healthy, it's it's a lovely up. Why not put it out in the front then? Because there's I think there's there's more people out there.

They're not going to walk around in a dumpster and throw it out. Yeah, but it's in its out front. I think it's even better chance of it getting stolen. So I think it's by the back or porch pirate type situation. Yeah. What what a what a fevered brain that's in that fucking skull that you are worried about people stealing your plants if you leave them out somewhere. Where'd you get it from? Uh, stole it. people stealing your plants if you leave them out somewhere. Where'd you get it from? Stole it. No, they're both from Lindsay, Lindsay Dexon. Okay, good old Lindsay. So she grew me an avocado plant, which I call the Lindsay Cato, and there's a little house clover. There you go, you sell them for camera. Well, because I was trying to grow a get-em-cato. So even better. So, and then there's like a little like like a Thanksgiving cactus. So I did think about

Growing some sort of citrus tree Is that something I can do around here? I don't know but I don't exactly what zone were in But if it's long since it's taught into that zone you should you should be able to get by I got some oranges the other day from shop Right they were the shittiest oranges I've ever eaten in my life like lit I'm talking literally here. Yeah, like maybe I can grow my own No Fucking grow an orange tree There's no way I mean I don't mean to a shit on on your dream

But like let's be realistic here. You know that you're not gonna fucking go. You dream of having fresh squeezed orange juice. Yeah, every morning. No. Yeah, I'll forget about it or like, or like I'll do everything I'm supposed to do and it just won't work. I don't think I've ever seen anybody have an orange tree around here. Not around here. No, I remember a Moser had a lemon tree though.

What part of the country? He did live in Southern California at the time. Yeah, I don't know if Jersey is like, you know, the citrus state. We had a peach tree in my backyard when I was a kid. Isn't Florida where they grow oranges? No, they're known for that. Yeah, Florida is the sunshine state. Yeah, God forbid they should get a frost because I'm a destroyed the entire crop.

So, yeah, you're probably right. Well, maybe indoors, I could grow it. Yeah, bringing in, bringing in during the winter. Well, I need a sign to put next to it so nobody steals it. Yes. The amount of effort that you'll put into getting how many oranges you eat a year? Seven? Well, what if Q comes over? Oh, you got some fresh citrus here for me. I see it got some clementime. So just go to like one of these vegetable stands or fruit stands instead of going to shop right? Yeah, you're probably right. A lot of work, money and frustration, anger, buy the oranges there. Buy the oranges oranges there get some rubber bands just you know

Attach them to the branch of any tree and then just call it a tree Yeah, Mary Beth was like I'm not this not this coming weekend But I think the following weekend I want to try to have like a housewarming party and I'm like are you out of your fucking mind? Like what? How fast do you think we're gonna be able able to do this? Like, I'm usually like the person that has to be told like, well, slow down, like you're being completely unrealistic about this time frame. But for her, I was like, no fucking way. I said, you'll be lucky if you can get one going by October. Yeah. Yeah. There's just something about like when you move into a new

place and like you're like, I gotta do a housewarming party. I was gonna do that when I moved into the farm and like I went I was like buying like little swizzle sticks with like I had a theme in my mind. It could be like a tiki party theme. So I had these little swizzle sticks like little odd the tiki gods on them and everything I looked like that and yeah I just never went anywhere. Never happened I never had the party? No. Because then like winter it was like right around winter came and then like, I'm not going to have the, I'll have it next summer. And that never, then I just lost interest. Yeah. What made you decide to stop entertaining?

You had a wonderful pool party one time and then it was just too much work. The pool then got knocked down. That's true. That's true. And we never investigated bringing in another pool and once that was gone, there really what we felt there was nothing, there was no draw to our house to anybody, you know, it's certainly not not the people inside of it are certainly not worthy of coming down and and hanging out. So it was like, yeah, we felt the pool was like kind of like offset. That's all we got. I'm not sure if you know, but you can go on Amazon and get a 700 hour hot tub.

Yeah, I can't get a hot tub. Yeah. Okay. Yes, I for you, it's for your guests. Yeah. Just watch them enjoy it. You spend $700 on a reasonably priced hot tub. What are we watching here? Is this a...

Yeah, it's just pre-season football. Pre-season football, huh? Yeah. He's checking on my homes to see if he's a danger to Brady this year. I just read something about Brady. I can't remember what it was. Yeah, there's a lot of weird rumors swirling around. He took the leave of absence from the team. They don't know when he's coming back. It's almost over-killish territory. I don't think so. That one theory you were telling me. There's some theories on the internet that he's off filming the mask singer.

Oh really? Because he signed this massive mega contract with Fox Sports to be in Sportscaster when he said he was going to retire. And there's a theory going to somebody online, you know, saying that like with that contract signing, he also said that he would be was going to retire. And there's a theory going to somebody online saying that, with that contract signing, he also said that he would be on the mass-singer, like it was a duel. Oh, right. into the contract.

And now he can't get out of it. So that's why he's had to leave the team to be on the mass-singer. Which, to me, flies in the face of everything this guy's been for the last 50 years 40 something years. I mean he's all about one thing winning football games and that Is a hundred and eighty degree opposite of the mindset you should have like being on a fucking shitty fucking mass singer No, I say this with all love for Joey for tone because he was on the show fucking mass singer. No, I say this with all love for Joey Fertone

because he was on the show. But I agree I'm just like, who watches this bullshit? Like that's the tone. It's crazy how many people love it. Like I'm not like, that's a rhetorical who watches this bullshit. Like, but I'm just like, how does someone sit down and I mean, people might say, how does somebody sit down?

Internet loves it. You know, speculation. It is a phenomenon, is that how you say it? Phenomenon. But for a guy who has been all about like, you know, like, like, driven, you know, one fucking focus, like he, he is more focused than fucking a terminator

on what he has to do. This feels like it cannot be the reason he's not in camp right. You don't think he can sing? No, no, is it? Do you think he can put his mind to making himself a great singer? Oh, he's short amount of time. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

But I just feel like it's a distraction that like he has never allowed in the past if that's what it is. It could be really, there could be, you know, I know maybe a parent is not doing well health wise. It's, I feel like, if it's what it is. It could be really, I know, maybe a parent is not doing well health wise. I feel like, if it's the mass singer, I'm going to be shocked. Yeah.

What if he got mono from his son? All right, enough with it. I know, it's with these friends. I said no. No, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to,

want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to want to pot as enough. Yeah. This is what you do all the time though. Oh, this is what he does try to get at you with. No, no, he just like hammers at home to the point where it's not funny anymore. He had one one snicker and now he feels like, you know, that's just, that's all the comedy he will do now. Is that one? I got a minute this big and he left,

because he's left. No. Oh boy. Well, I don't really, I mean, I didn't do much except like I said, I was sick. I stayed in bed for probably three days. Like I really was like, oh, I mean, get him out. This is the last fucking. I mean, I know it's a lot politically correct to say this now, but we were doing real man's work. You know, not sitting in a fucking studio like riffing on a fucking shitty monster movie. We were actually doing like fucking blue collar shit. Walt was driving. That sounds like it sucks. Kind of did. No. Walt was driving on the big road with big truck.

I had to rent a rig and bring some couches, a bed, some tables up to my brother-in-law in Tim Fuck 2. It's the kind of place where when you're leaving they warn you, look out for a bear and deer. So you were way up north. Yeah. He actually has a bear living underneath his porch. Not what we were doing, not what we were moving in the furniture. Yeah. I'm like, God. Yeah, but he has said the bear will sometimes stay.

Like they'll hear it underneath the porch. How do you live like that? I have no idea. But yeah, so I had to rent a truck and drive it. Wow. Yeah. First thing you had. Intimidator? Yeah.

Don't definitely. Yeah. He mastered it right off the bat. First thing I was terrified of was because my wife did it online and like did the process of renting the truck online. I was like holy shit. I didn't tell her I couldn't drive a stick. Right. You know, but thankfully she remembers I can't drive a stick having hands

Never see me for 30 years So thank God she didn't get a truck with a stick because we would have been fucking She's like what what gender should I check No, why don't you have a get him an experienced an experienced driver Farmer equipment it trust you want to do yourself. Yeah, I wanted to you know feel that fucking beast in between my legs Yeah, you know I want to feel that that power to that engine head, you know rumble the transmission I wanted to feel that wheel, you know as I'm turning it and saying like am I too close to the side?

that wheel, you know, as I'm turning it and saying like, am I too close to the side? Oh my fucking too close! Wait, look at your phone for! You're supposed to be looking to see if I'm too close to the other car. Just my mirrors! Yeah, that and these things work! I gotta pay tolls? I forgot to bring the phone with me. Oh, the easy pass.

Easy pass, so we had the blow through all the tolls. Oh my God. This is nobody made of tolls. Yeah, there's no toll takers anymore. It's like, that's a scam in itself right there. If you don't offer a toll booth taker, then you can't issue a ticket. That's the rule it should be in any fucking state.

But it seems pretty unfair. Right? If you're not willing to put a man in the booth, then don't fucking dare send me a fucking ticket. Cause I, you know, I was willing to pay for it. I don't, I only had a $20 bill. And it wouldn't take cash. No, because you asked that one guy,

did I, it wouldn't take cash. They don't take cash anymore? Well, the one guy who was at this toll booth was like, I can't take it. No, no, no, that was a guy just walking on the side of the road. That's almost I Was a manning the booth. That was just like hey, what can I do if I don't have change he goes just go he said

All right, that's that seems to like fly in the face of what you guys are trying to do here He knew he'd be fucking he'd be getting my fucking fine money You know that's how he gets his fucking check. That's true, yeah, the more people he waves on through. Yeah, the more he gets. I'm gonna get a raise this year. Yeah, you're right. But oh, yeah, it was a void state troopers

skipping the way stations. Damn, how about was the truck? Was it, it was a, it was a, Oh, was it, what was it, a 30 footer? Yeah. Ha. Hahaha. Oh. He's dwarfing rigs. Hahaha.

It was a 10 footer, but uh. Oh, was it 10 feet? Yeah. Why is that small? No, no, no. Let me just say that. There was one bigger. There was there was at least a bigger one.

It was the 20 footer. Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a huge difference though. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 20 and difference though. Oh yeah, yeah. 20 and fucking 10's not too bad. Yeah. But it all went pretty darn smooth

until the last item in the truck. Like we had gotten everything out of the truck and up to when we got up to my brother-in-law's and we were fucking like a machine. It was well oil them fucking hand to me this me bringing it here, you know It was like we were emptying that truck We could have fucking opened up our own business. Yeah, like if people like their neighbors would have been like Hey, are you are you available next weekend to move something for me? That's how impressive a Fucking production it was

Yes, he town haulers a fucking production it was. Yes, he town haulers. Until we get the big couch, and that's got to get in. And I'm ashamed to say that we gave up and just fled into the night as we never got it in the house. You never got it in?

No, you just left it for him. You never like, I don't know what to do. I just said, we can't get it in. I said, we got four people here. And we spent an hour tried everything, took the door down, took the feet off the couch, wiggled it this way, wiggled it that way. Flip it over, flip it this way.

And it wasn't happening. I was just like, I don't know what to tell you. But like, I'm out of here. It's time to go. It's time to go. It's time for me to go. I did all I could. He's only got eight hours on the road. Then he's got to, I can't imagine. I'm like, I'm going to go to sleep. It's just on the road.

Are we already got him rid of the bed? Yeah, so I did feel kind of bad though, because we're like, what do you want to do? I mean, we can't get it in there. And so my brother and I was like, we'll just throw it in the garage. But the other, you know, people who lived there were not happy with that fucking like, like I could just see on their face, they were fucking pissed when we just left it. That's your odds. Oh really?

Yeah. Well, in all fairness, you're not professional movers that were hired to fucking get it in that. Oh, that's, that was my suggestion. I said, I said, find somebody who knows how to move couches and stuff, because he's like, oh, we moved one out that was just as big as this. And I'm like, I don't know how you got it out here.

Well, then get your team and move it back to fucking. Yeah, but like, to me, you believe, though, that there was a way for that couch to get in there. Yeah, because if they got one out, I said there's somebody who knows how to move and they can just look at it and know exactly the way to turn it and tilt it and everything to get it in. But you guys, I mean, you guys are intelligent people.

If you worked for an hour, try to get the- I had a fucking 148 IQ fucking stomp. Stomp. Stomp. I thought I had a line on it, and we flipped it this way, so that we could angle it against the doorway. We had to glass out on the door and everything else like that,

and it was like four inches too short, or too long. Then we're like, you know what man, after man's work, we want a fucking man's dinner. All right. We had to go like, with some place that has a fucking hefty plate of fucking old fashioned food. Big fat steak.

Cracker barrel. Oh, there you go. Which I hadn't been to in years, which I won't be back. And for many years, it was not good. No, it was good. That's the one, that's the rule number one of the road. I forgot it though.

I forgot it. Don't, when you got a long road trip, don't eat somewhere that you never ate before. You haven't eaten before, you know, in years. Stick to where your stomach knows like. It should have been a Denny's. It should have been a Denny's or Red Robin or any other number of places I go,

don't fucking introduce foreign chicken fingers into your system when you're on it and you got a long road trip ahead of you. It's just fucking suicide. It's true, you had a far away was it? Oh, it was at least an hour and 40 minutes. Yeah, from here. Wow.

So it's a three hour. Oh, man. They asked him how many miles you're going. And this motherfucker. Without even knowing where he was going, was nailed within four miles. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I said, put me in for 150 miles, I said.

Not knowing where the fuck I was going. And when we came back, I was 154. Wow. That's pretty decent. I couldn't stop talking about it. I told everybody. I said not know where the fuck I was going right when we came back of it was 154 wow Yeah, that's pretty decent. Yeah, I couldn't stop talking about it. I told everybody anybody would listen Wasn't I some you rented a trucking because they ask you the mileage right? You're what's it called your guesstimate mileage what you're gonna take it on the night and I don't know why I said 150 Fuck and you would have been right if we didn't have that one Well, no, I guess well, I also would have been right up I missed the fucking the entrance to the you whole place bringing the truck back

Oh, yeah, I had to go around along you turn and and why did you miss the because I was because I the tiger came on And I said you know what I the turtle I was I was riffing the movie What's that you know what? I had a turtle. I was riffing the movie while I was driving. What's at you all place? Oh shit. Tell him, Steve Dave.