Tell Em Steve-Dave - #541: Tuna Slop
Episode Date: January 8, 2023Bry has an idea for a YouTube channel, online dilemmas, portrait follow-up....
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The
Tellings to you, Dave, that recording in the comics or by you felt that the need of war
Who wants to win an adventure and who's pride just wants to debate how
But the publics and not have to lose so they travel
You travel and hitting pavement
Drive providing abundance is a big navigation
But whether they win or lose try on for fail
Listen to this August and they will, the gale you win the tails
Peaceful
Hello and welcome to this new edition of...
Oh, Space Muggie, yeah?
Space Muggie's twice in a row, sorry it's not our fault
You don't like it, talk to Walt Flanagan
We just, we just got to peel back the curtain here
And we just did like 10 killer minutes
Mm-hmm
Killer minutes
Shit that you would pay for.
Oh, fuck, it was so good.
I felt we were on track,
but then we realized we were recording
into the wrong mic something.
Some mic setup wasn't correct.
Yeah, on the board, I know this is gonna shock no one
with my technological prowess
that I pressed the wrong button to record,
so I was only recording my mic and not yours. Yeah,
I said some funny shit. Sorry. I'm clicking a clackin around that's like I barely said anything. Q shit liquid gold
dude. Yeah, man. You can see why I've had a hit TV show for so long. Yeah, and you can see why I got canceled. Yeah, but now it's all
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I've never said this before so it's the first time I'll reveal it. I miss doing TV. Really? I miss
going in every day and knowing that like we're gonna have some fun. We're gonna shoot the shit. We're gonna like, I mean, you know what it's like for you, I think it's a little bit more like your show is way more involved
than comic book man ever was. There's a lot of moving parts to your show. Whereas for us, it was like, stand behind this counter and fucking make fun of people.
Yeah, although I have a lot of fun shooting the show,
but yeah, I know what you mean.
Yeah, you can't get, I mean, I don't remember
when you were doing it,
where you never really complained about the show.
Everyone's in a while you would have,
you know, normal work complaints,
but you seem to enjoy it while you're doing it.
Yeah, the only time, the only time I had problems was when the upper, the, the suit stepped in and
started saying, oh, you can't say that. I can't wear that, which is part of the course I'm assuming.
Yeah, I thought you guys should have got paid more too if I'm being completely honest.
Yeah, I agree with that. But, but we. But we were just talking about Walt not being here
for the second time in a row.
He was sick last time.
This time he took a weekend jaunt down to Smithville,
which is right outside Atlantic City.
Yeah, we did a little bit on Smithville.
We looked it up.
You're gonna have to look it up yourself.
You're never gonna hear Smithville bit like the one cue.
Yeah. That shit was fire.
Did the kids still say fire?
I don't even know if the kids still say fire.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about the kids that I...
No, except that they don't acknowledge us.
No, not really.
But I mean, they're not in any position to be acknowledged
by the kids that I am not where they are. I'm not doing what they're not, I'm not in any position to be acknowledged by the kids today. I'm not where they are.
I'm not doing what they're doing.
Can you imagine the horror of working in a situation like say Frank five,
where he's a college professor?
I'd almost rather be a cop than a college professor.
I'd almost rather be somebody that a cop is chasing than a college professor.
Anything that's dealing with the new generation, and by the way, is that the way it's always
been?
Like, it's always been that way.
We're just hitting the signpost in our life that every person has hit at this point
in their life, right?
And the people who we dislike right now, the generation that we're not in tune with, we'll hit that
with, with, with another generation.
I think way quicker to, yeah.
Because everything flips so fast these days.
Well, I think that they're saying that the Gen Zers are, are cooler than the millennials.
They're not as like, yeah, that's not a high bar to hurt, I guess.
And now what's nice is like you get to watch the millennials realize what the world is
actually like.
Oh, are you seeing that?
You're seeing that in the world?
I think we're starting to see that a little bit.
Yeah.
Well, how old the millennials got to be in their 30s by now?
The millennials are in their 30s by now.
So now like, like, I was idealistic when I was young, 20s, I was like, real into recycling
and nature,
and that kind of shit.
And not that, like, I mean, I'm not really that
into recycling anymore, I gotta say.
Like, I recycle like I'm supposed to,
and I bring all my cardboard down to recycling.
Oh yeah, that's all about that.
Yeah.
Fuckin' wife can't stop ordering shit from Amazon and Wafair.
Two places I wish didn't exist.
If they didn't exist, I wouldn't know what it would have to go down to the cardboard.
You'd be going to the cardboard dump twice a day.
Yeah.
It's nuts.
You're saying, you're seeing every, I said how old are millennials now.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're 30s.
But I think it's anymore. No, and I think they're starting to see like, oh, so the world isn't as simplistic
as I made it out to be where everybody should just be fucking buddies and yeah. I don't
know, man, I never, I don't wonder how, I don't know, I got no clue. I don't even want
to get have a clue. I just remember like my generation, the Gen X people were like, fuck it.
Yeah.
What was wrong with fuck it?
When did fuck it become such a bad thing?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think, I don't know.
I think it's like, look, you gotta be aware of what's, the point is they're saying is like,
well, this is what's going on and how you don't have to listen to this because you're
this and you're just, and I'm just like, all right, but like, there is what's going on and how you don't have to listen to this because you're this and And you're just like all right, but like
There's horrible shit going on. I don't know. It's a it's a snaking its own fucking tale
There's no point. This is not none of this was in the first 10 minutes. We recorded no we should not we shouldn't we shouldn't
Devolve into it. We're you know, we're middle-aged everybody listening. No
We're middle-aged, everybody listening knows it. Well aware.
They're well aware, they know what the views are.
They know what they're, my point is like we're happiest,
not dipping into that pool.
Stay out of that pool, bro.
You feel like you can't get into anything though,
like say like if I were into politics.
So I had strong feelings into politics. Sure.
So I had strong feelings towards politics.
Okay.
Always listen into my opinion.
I mean, Karris.
Nobody cares what I think.
Nobody cares.
Which is good.
I'm not into politics.
So no, Chris Lodondo.
Nobody gives a fuck what you think.
Oh my god.
Is that where this was all going?
Yeah.
That was the whole setup.
Oh, but no, actually I was talking about the recycling.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, okay. Like I try to like recycle and shit.
And, you know, I'll even bring down,
I don't throw the styrofoam in the garbage,
they have a styrofoam recycling thing there.
Okay.
I'm doing my part.
And then I go to like a place like Ohio.
There aren't any recycling loss.
People just throw stuff in the garbage.
Right.
And Ohio is a big state.
So I'm like, is what I'm doing?
Like, I don't think anything I'm doing
have done or ever will do is gonna matter.
It, well, not about that.
I get, it depends on your metric, bud.
I guess, but I think that
what I've come to understand
and I'm probably wrong about it
is that for the most part,
plastic recycling is a joke. It doesn't even
really exist. Like, it's...
Oh wait, you mean all those straws? Yeah.
Those paper straws that we got to drink through that fucking dissolve in your drink, that
doesn't really matter?
Well, the paper straws are not subliquely at all.
Subliquely at all?
Well, he is with us saying, like, this is what I, as I understand it, it's like the only way to take care.
Recycling is the company's passing the responsibility onto you.
Well, we make these fucking plastic coke bottles,
but you're the one that has to fucking recycle them.
Right.
And they pass it onto you.
And then by supporting those efforts,
they can seem like they have a shit.
But really, they put their little recycling and signi on.
They haven't done anything.
They're making the plastic bottles,
just shipping them out the door
and they don't give a fuck what happens to them after that.
But because of PR campaign, you're like,
oh, Coke recycles.
The truth of the matter is,
plastic recycling doesn't really do much.
The only thing that can be done is the complete
and total abolishment of plastic.
And I say I'm for it.
Like I have a bottle of iced tea here.
Diet peach iced tea made by Benner.
I get it from Aldi, whatever.
Okay, it's my favorite iced tea, it's the only iced tea I drink.
You love that shit, huh?
Love it.
Yeah, it's really good.
I advise you, if you like peach iced tea
and you're looking for a diet, go to Aldi.
And you're buying Aldi's?
Yeah, you're buying, yeah.
I had formerly banned Mary Beth from Aldi,
but then once I discovered this ice too,
I lightened up on it.
You're a little bit late.
You're a little late.
But I gotta say, the big problem with it is,
once you take it out of the refrigerator,
it reaches room temperature in like 10 minutes.
Classic.
Yeah, it just doesn't stay cold.
All right.
Well, I think the big problem is this is around the thousand years.
It's just like why that is the only thing that is going to help just shutting off this
big stop plastic.
Don't go.
Is that ever going to happen?
We all know that something is going to happen.
People lost their minds when New Jersey banned the plastic bags like you know like at
a grocery store. Yeah. Because inevitably you always Jersey banned the plastic bags like you know like at a grocery store
Yeah, because inevitably you always forget your reusable plastic bags
See I buy a new one and you got to buy new ones for 50 cents and if you have a large grocery order
You know you're looking at extra yeah five bucks
And by the way you look on the my kids and think I have about a thousand of those bags now
Do not do an anybody any good. I used to have a laundry room until all the fucking all the reusable bags showing up from fucking Instacart. Yeah. Now it's they're like
teeming, they're like spilling out. Yeah. So I don't, I don't know, dude. I don't know. Look, the
I can't. Should we live in a world where the government comes in and says,
what fucking you guys are cutting down plastic used by 50%
with the next 10 years to start with. And then all then coax got to go back to glass bottles or aluminum or aluminum
like why aren't they doing that? I don't know there's there's not enough there's the money that would change
hands hasn't changed hands. But I don't know.
That would be my guess. There's some greasing of palms involved and the right palms haven't
been greased or there isn't enough complaints about it. Nobody's fucking. Because really
like what do people care about? Man, people ultimately care about themselves and their
own deal. Sure. And like everything else is secondary, which is natural
for every single person out there.
You gotta take care of yourself and your loved ones first.
And then you can worry about the fucking plastic bags
and all the other stuff.
That's the way the Italians thought it to me.
Yeah.
Sure.
You know, take care of your family, man.
You're back yard first.
But yeah, I don't know.
But you would think that like knowing that
that plastic bottle you're drinking from
And the company that makes it is doing immeasurable damage to the future of human race and I plan it like
Maybe that's an area that the government could be like you're not doing it anymore. Fuck and stop it
Yeah, I don't know
I don't know what do I know that? It's not like, cause I know.
Then they wouldn't get, they wouldn't get their fucking donations and all that other shit.
Like, once you're in politics, I don't think it's about politics at all.
Okay.
I mean, this is not a new thought. It's about money changing hands.
Yeah.
Tackin' on bills to shit.
So, we're fucked. Just so everybody out there, anybody listening, I don't care what country
you're listening. We got people listening in Pakistan. Oh, hey guys. Yeah, we got, we don't know
your language otherwise. We'd use it. Obviously, we've got a big UK listener ship. Hey, I don't
give a fuck what country you're living in. They are fucking you over. You're getting fucked over,
but at the same time, like my point is just like, if you're not going to do anything about it,
but I'm not. Then stop fucking worrying about it. I mean, if you're not gonna do anything about it. But I'm not. Then stop fucking worrying about it.
I mean if you're gonna do something about it, do something about it.
But if you're not then like just try and have a good time.
Can you just not be in the middle?
Not you.
I mean like either do something about it or fucking don't, like I just stop pretending
you're doing something about it with your nonsense, I guess.
But I don't know.
I just, dude, also we're fucking past, you're already over 50, but like-
Double five.
It's like, is any of these problems out problems?
Yeah, like, well, don't you want to leave a good planet for your grandchildren?
It's like, I don't got any, and I never will.
So I don't give it.
Once I go, this is, and I never will. So I don't give it, once I go,
this is everybody else's fucking problem.
Yeah, and that's true,
even if you believe it or not,
once you go, you're beyond the,
so I don't know, man,
my thing is like,
I don't know, I don't have a thing, man.
I just, he thought he had a thing.
I thought I had a thing,
but the end of the day,
all I wanna do is just fucking have a good time with the time
that I have left make a few people laugh along the way be nice to people and
you know I sound like you'll get real like be kind so yeah maybe Joe is
right you know and he lives his life that way certainly does he's a
different creature Joe got a little man he's a different creature Joe God. Oh, man. He's a positive motherfucker. He's positive motherfucker
He's an energetic motherfucker. Yeah, he's a creative. He loves being creative. He loves getting his you know fucking hands in the work
You know, and he's found the version that with a stand up tour, which is great
But yeah, I don't know man, my whole
thing is just like all right, just fucking just chill out and be cool to people. I just want
to be the big Lebowski. Yeah, I just want to fuck a bowl every once in a while. I'd like a nice
rug. I'd love to burn one every once in a while and just chill the fuck out. Like maybe, like,
you know, ambition is the wrong thing. Maybe maybe the pursuit of happiness is the wrong thing. Maybe the pursuit of happiness is the thing.
But happiness for who?
Who deserves happiness?
Yeah, and then people try to take it away from it.
Ah, people wanna rip your happiness away.
Oh, you better believe it.
Yeah, and it could come from it.
It could be insidious.
Your next-door neighbor complaining about a fucking property line
or somebody trying to buy a Christmas tree from
and they're pricked to you.
People are always trying to take it away from it.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
And there's the theory to turn the other cheek,
and you just go on being nice,
or you could be a bitter dick,
guess which one I chose.
Yeah, I know.
You could do a little more cheek turn.
Yeah, I should turn the cheek a little bit more.
I don't really have an opportunity to turn the cheek that much though,
because I hardly interact with anyone. And the people I do, I should turn the cheek a little bit more. I don't really have an opportunity to turn the cheek that much though because I hardly interact with anyone and the people I do I'm usually like.
I mean, it's interactions like going to a pharmacy or stop and buy grocery stores or something or going to like we go to the red bank diner Mary Beth and I okay and there's a lady there.
It's still open huh?
No, they moved okay, it's down like way down by the post office now
Got it
And there's a lady there who um she's a waitress. We always get her and I'm like I genuinely like her
And she's nice to me so I'm nice to her and I like this is is a perfect human interaction if this could be the way it is
With everybody but like I get on the road and I'm like come on you fucking moron
with everybody, but like I get on the road, and I'm like, come on, you fucking moron.
I'm just stupid fucking idiot.
You know, like the way people drive, I can't take it.
And I'm like, and then you start,
like you start doing what I can't stand
because people have done it to us.
We're the enemy now.
We're middle-aged white guys.
Sure.
And it's because we've been lumped into a group with, you know,
like because Harvey Weinstein goes
and fucking sexually assaults people and then fucking this one does it
and then that one does all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit.
It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's all the Hollywood's shit. It's are these people? This is my point. These are people online.
That is always my point.
Like I don't feel like I'm looped
and lumped into a group of evil people.
You don't think so?
I don't think so because nobody says that shit to me.
Like I might interact with a major star.
They're not gonna say that to you.
I think they would say that.
I think you're quite wrong.
I mean, in possible my point is maybe they are saying it to me
and I'm just not hearing it, but it's like, it's okay, man.
I don't know, man.
I don't think people go around in the real world
like making these statements and accusations.
I just don't think so.
No.
I don't think so.
It's easy to do it online, because there's no,
like you can fight with people online,
and it's not face to face.
But somebody coming up and being like, hey hey man, because you are a white guy,
yeah, double fives, you're a piece of shit.
That has never happened to you.
Yeah, it will never happen to you.
I don't know, it will, I don't know.
What if I go to a march?
So let's say, okay, so you got 55 years to go.
It depends on what you're protesting,
end or marching forward against like,
I'm not even willing to march forward like I said.
I got that willing to go to some mens rally.
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
If somebody was like, hey, man,
we're doing a mens rights rally like down in Red Bank today.
We're gonna go fucking marching and then we're gonna go to
Red Bank diner afterwards and have some fries.
Ooh, you'd be like, can I just meet you at the fri?
This thing, you would be like, you'd look at them be like, can I just meet you at the fry?
This thing, you would be like,
you'd look at them be like,
you guys fucking idiots.
Yeah, you're wasting your time.
Like what is the matter with you guys?
Like what do you do?
It's Saturday, like go fucking do something.
Well, it's the idea of rights too.
You know, like, well, we need men's rights.
We need women's rights.
We need transgender rights.
Who doesn't have the same, like I'm unclear.
This is a real question. This is even rhetorical. I wanna know who doesn't have the same, like I'm not unclear. This is a real question. This
is even rhetorical. I want to know who doesn't have the right same rights that say I do.
What black woman doesn't have the same rights that I do. What transgender guy doesn't have
the right. Well, I think it's the enforcement of the rights that they're saying. I don't
know if rights is the right word. I mean, I don't use it enough. Sure, but I don't think
like I think there are you would be and like, look, I don't want to get into this
discussion. You could look at the reasons behind the
framing, but like, I think their point is like, look, if
you were a transgender person or you were a black woman,
like, your life is going to have more obstacles than say me
and you. Correct? I would agree with that.
You would agree with that.
I think that's all they're saying.
So it's not about rights, though.
It's not about rights.
It's like kind of about the right to live your life in a way that's not fucking impinged upon by fucking morons.
Because there are so many fucking idiots in the world.
And you have a hard time driving down the street with them. Could you imagine being fucking transgender and dealing with them?
Like suddenly some low fucking intelligent and I am not taking a stance on anything.
I'm just saying like, we know there are fucking morons in the world.
Low fucking class, low intellectual fucking morons everywhere.
I grew up on stand-on. I've seen them. Like they're walking around.
It's just like, and we have to deal with they're walking around. Um, it's just like, and we have to
deal with them. And you and, and it's just like, fuck this person to moron. I know, or I can just get
away from this person. But like, you know, if you're already, if you're a black woman walking
out of the street and you got one of these fucking chuckleheads who would never say anything to me and
you look at her, it's just like, well, now he's been on the internet all fucking morning, reading
about men's rights and shit like that and he sees a transgender person
or a black woman he's gonna say fucking something because he's a moron.
Yeah I guess I guess that said I'm not accounting for the low their dealing with more fucking
idiots than we are.
And it's like for us to get lumped in with them. Sure, you could say it's unfair, but at the same time, like,
who's really lumping us out? Yeah, I got just a bunch of people who don't like white guys.
Just like there's a bunch of people
who don't like transgender,
or a bunch of people who don't like black people,
they all get lumped in.
They get lumped in.
It's like, I've been lumped in.
But nobody's lumped too, it is my point.
Nobody's lumped too, it is what I'm saying. You haven't been lumped in. You nobody's lumped two in, it's my point. Nobody's lumped two in, it's what I'm saying.
You haven't been lumped in.
You're lumping yourself in.
Am I?
Nobody said it for you.
Yeah, that's true.
Like, literally nobody's even thinking it
till you bring it up.
Huh.
I saw, I was telling you a little bit earlier.
I saw on Twitter and aunt, Tom Steve Lee Listener.
Yeah.
Transgender. Yeah. Who had the, who for the first time went out to a cafe, it's a male to
female.
Right.
Went out to a cafe and was talking about how good it felt to be able to like, be herself.
And you were really happy for them.
I was.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was.
I was like that.
That's fucking cool. That's cool that they can go out and it must be exciting too.
It must be such a fucking exciting like feeling of like, I don't know what a live feels like, but a completion of some sort.
But I've hurt. Yeah. Yeah. And I was really happy to see that that like somebody could go out and not have to fucking, they're like, it went well.
Yeah.
They didn't have to deal with some dickhead saying something.
They didn't have to deal with something.
Right.
And I think that like if they had that experience, the majority of the time, like everything would be a lot fucking, like the temperature and everything, but like you just got fucking morons in the world, dude.
Not saying, like by the way, there's moronic transgender people.
That's true. Not saying like by the way, there's more onic transgender people You know, sure, sure Like there's fucking morons across this so all the morons are really causing problems for the rest of us
But like at the end of the day, it's like
at least in my corner of the world like
Yeah
And this fucking, I don't know man, I can't
Dude, you know what you should do? You should get into like
um You should do like, you? You should get into like,
you should do like, you know what those bikers who like drive around and like,
they're part of like a club and they like save kids
who are getting abused and shit like that.
That's what you should do.
Or like when,
when over religious people go to funerals
and try to make a whole thing.
Hold up the song and they rev their engines
so that the people can't they can they drown them out.
Maybe you should look into that
because then like,
I think I start dealing meth.
Well, no, but like you can channel your,
this I wanted to community, you know?
So it's like, you know, like mine did individuals
and all you're doing is irritating people but the right people right, you know, the child abuses the people that would go to a wake and hold up a sign like those type of assholes like you're fucking rude in their day, you know, I just can't imagine being like like you I can't remember what
What comedian I might have been Chris Rock was talking about how like
people have to be
Like-minded like you can't have a stand-up
pillar of the community doctor
And then your husband is a crackhead like it's just what it means wait
It's just not gonna work like you have to have people who are like mine. Oh, okay. Yes, right. Birds of the feather. Birds of a feather.
Sure.
type thing, right? So when you, when you, uh, when you see these kinds of, uh,
see these kinds of groups and stuff, you're right. Like I would like to go drown out some
over really just people. Yeah. Or I would like to sit there and watch you live.
I wanted it to. I wanted it too.
I wanted it too, but I just feel like,
why is Brian Maxwell texting me?
Brian Maxwell?
That's not anything.
No, he still had my number, hey.
A Q, where are you talking about transgender?
Oh, Alph.
He's excited about Alph.
Oh, is he?
Yeah, that's cool.
Send a picture of him with an Alph shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Look at, there he is.
No, Brian. Well, like Maxwell. Yeah, look him too. He was supposed of him with an Alphard. Oh yeah. Look at it. There he is. No, brith.
Well, like Maxwell.
Yeah, look him too.
He was supposed to come down during Christmas.
He never came.
Well, I don't, I like him.
I want to say he's the most reliable guy
I've ever met with my type of life.
But if we're talking about morons, let's segue into this.
Because I think we can start a new segment for the show.
Yeah.
Called moron of the week. Oh. Called More On Of The Week.
Oh boy.
I got one.
Oh you got one?
It's me.
Which do I remember?
Remember that portrait we were talking about?
Oh yeah.
Oh I remember the portrait.
Well here's portrait part two.
So I'm really, I don't want to do it.
I think.
Oh you haven't done it yet?
No we did.
Oh you did. I think I made that clear. I really didn't want to do it. But I'm like, you haven't done it yet. No, we did.
I think I made that clear.
I really didn't want to do it.
But I'm like, all right, sometimes you got to do shit in a marriage.
You don't want to do.
Sure.
Usually it seems that shit you don't want to do.
Hold on.
Yeah.
So we're like, okay, so it's the night of the portrait.
It's like half-hour to the portrait.
I'm still fucking bitching a moment and she's like, well, it's just not doing. I'll just cancel. I'm like, no, no.
I don't know why I have to give her a heart. Why can't I just go along and do it?
Yeah, if you're gonna go anyway, I'm gonna go anyway. I know I'm going. I know I'm not gonna
be like, fuck it. It's not like so. I back off that a little bit and I'm like, no, let's just go do it.
She's like, yeah, I think I told you it was going to take two hours. So we get there,
a cream or photography, the lady's name was Caleb, a lady who helped us.
Okay.
Give a little shout out because they're very nice, very nice, do great work.
But we get there and we're sitting around like, okay, we're going to take the pictures.
And I figured something out while I was there. I don't hate having my picture taken. I hate looking at my picture after it's
taken. Settle difference, but I still am not crazy about it. So they're like, okay, pose like this,
put your hand like this, blah, blah, blah, 20 minutes. And he's like, okay, we're done. And I'm like,
we're done. Awesome. I thought I was going to take fucking two hours. Yeah. But we're not done. Because he has to go
and he looks at each of the pictures. And he then like fixes him up a little bit, you
know, does some quick Photoshop. And this is the photographer. Then he hands him off to
this lady, Kayla, who brings us in a room and you're sitting on a couch
and then in front of you is a blank wall
and they project the pictures up there.
Oh no.
Finger in life.
To see what photo it is that you want painted.
So I gotta sit there, I'm looking at it, I'm like,
oh my God, I'm so fucking fat, I can't take it.
Yeah. I don't wanna look at this shit. Like I literally, I'm like, I glance god, I'm so fucking fat, I can't take it.
I don't wanna look at this shit.
Like I literally, I'm like, I glance and then I vert my eyes.
That's how much I can't stay in that kind of stuff.
Not fun at all.
Can you battle on this part?
No, because we have to figure out which one
we both agree is the one that should.
But if you're never gonna look at it anyway.
I'm not gonna look at them.
You're bouncing at them fries at the red bank diner.
Well, here's the thing. Okay.. I said as I'm looking at these pictures
I'm like these are just templates right. I mean you don't need to necessarily
like have him paint my back fat hanging out of this one picture right. Like you
can you can make this look a little bit better. It's probably not the first time he's
heard that request. No, no, no, there's plenty of
Plenty of people that you they said usually women, which isn't surprising. Usually women want to be slimmed down or you know
Filtered or whatever
So we go through the whole thing we finally decide on a picture and she's like, okay
So this one in whatever measurement it was, yeah, is $6,100.
What?
And that's when I was like, is this real life?
I guess it's like what?
$6,000.
$6,100 to get your portrait painted from this picture.
Now, if you recall, from last time,
Mary Beth told me she won.
Yeah.
A free painting for the frame.
I thought you were paying for the frame. And even then, I'm bringing it to she won. Yeah. A free, paying for the frame.
And even then, I'm bringing it to my guy.
Yeah.
George, from Revere Framings down in a middle town.
I'm still working to revere, huh?
Yep, still a revere.
Oh, I'll die, revere, man.
Okay.
Hahaha.
So we don't even get to the frame yet.
I'm like, okay, I just gotta say here,
I was under the impression that this was free
for some reason and that she won this,
at least that's what I was told.
These are my exact words.
So $6,100, I was like, we just bought a house,
that's not happening, I'm sorry.
You know, like I thought, okay, but we have smaller.
Smaller. So what, here's the way it went.
She won a voucher, which was $2,500
towards a painting of a portrait.
So she didn't really win a portrait.
She won a discount.
She won a discount.
Unless you want to get, the only way it's free
is if you get this portrait that's so
little that you're like like I look at your picture of the Delorean over here
probably smaller than that.
So immediately she's like okay well the next one is down is this and then she
shows that this one is $4,500.
Now I walk in there expecting to spend $0.
That was my thing.
And then it gets to the point where we finally decide
on one, it's not the free one.
And she goes, the Kayla ladies, like, okay,
well, it's this amount, I can't remember how much it was.
I think it was, I think it was 4500 dollars.
Jesus Christ, man.
Tell me about it.
Minus the 2500, which is now $2,000.
Now, if you told me I would ever spend $2,000 of a painting of myself, maybe a great painting,
like one that could, and then you see him, I would be like, you would pile my and shit like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I asked her if she could do that. I was like, could you just like take me
out of the picture and put a horse in there and stand next to a horse?
I'm a zack-cloth.
I've seen the soprano side what you're talking about.
But anyway, so it's now 4500 bucks minus 2500. So it's a 2000 holy shit man. Now I'm still not paying
$2,000 for fucking painting. Yeah, I'm not that guy. But she got Christmas money from her parents.
Oh, so guess what she decides to spend it on bad for you really wants this painting for whatever reason.
I don't know. She's like, I'm not an artsy guy.
I don't know if people can tell that from my drawings.
I want to say that.
I remember that house you used to have a little one
with the stove.
I always remember being like, wow, this guy fucking knows
how to decorate.
You had like nice odd framed things on the wall.
And actually, we're here in my basement right now.
These shelves here are directly inspired by the ones used to have in your living.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I bought these because you had those and that was what, 15, 20 years ago.
So I don't know, I don't know if I agree with you on that one.
All right.
But anyway, maybe I'm a little lurchy and I know.
I think you are a little designing, maybe not already.
Are you?
Yeah, like I think you're pretty good at it.
Oh, thanks.
I did, if I did finally put together the TV room
I put the TV's up I got a
what's it called this role as those shitty trays? Yeah, the shitty trays I was telling you about earlier
if you listen anymore yeah she'll never hear this. I thought that would be a funny little
I mean that's not to say I can't pull a clip.
I'm cutting it.
You might enjoy that little digger there.
Because she took it out of the, I'll get to that in a second.
So, oh, so wait a second.
Okay, so the painting, so she, she got the money for the painting from her parents.
So I guess we're going to now have a painting hanging up. I will take a picture of it. I will show
it to everybody. I can't remember the size of it, but it was a decent size. It wasn't like overwhelming.
And the lady said, the Kayla lady said that most guys are like, do you think that's big enough? Like is that picture big enough?
And women normally for, she said,
for whatever reason, have the eye for like,
what size is good for where they plan on putting it
something like that.
Now sexist of a abature?
Yeah, I fucking stormed out.
I was like, this is no different than Twitter.
I'm being lumped in, God damn it.
I won't have it.
So we went, we did that.
Then we went over to Juanitos to have one of the worst Mexican.
No, Juanitos let you down.
Oh, big time.
Yeah, Juanitos is a restaurant red bank that if you are looking for a Mexican restaurant,
I'm sorry, I cannot recommend that I know a lot of people
go to Red Bank to go to the station.
Wow, I've had some good meals in one evening.
Me too, man, this was fucking, it's gone downhill.
As far as I'm concerned.
Okay.
Speaking of restaurants, man, the last two times
we've had bad restaurant experiences,
Mary Beth has written into them.
She's like, I'm gonna carry an out a little bit.
And so like we went to, one time we went to Hula Hands.
It was something as simple as the guy charged us for refills.
And I was like, what world are we living in where now fucking people get charged for a
refill of fucking soda?
They're $4?
I was like, I'm not coming back here anymore.
And Mary Beth wrote in and was just like, yeah,
I'm not understanding why you change your policy.
But oh, Bob, they're like, oh, we never changed the policy.
The guy was new and this is the way they did it
on his other place.
Fucker.
Now, when you hear new, how long is, how old is new?
Like, you're a new way.
If you're making fuck-ups like that,
past two weeks, you haven't been trained at all.
Try three months.
Ooh, four months.
Three months, he's been fucking over charging people
for drinks, nobody said anything.
Of course, who is not gonna say anything?
Cause they were enjoying that fucking
extra-wet-soto money.
Yeah, yeah.
And then we went to Outback and it was just like,
you know when butters been uncovered in a refrigerator
and it picks up all the tastes of the other food,
that's the way it was.
And I was like, oh, this is fucking disgusting, man.
And then whatever I got, I can't remember what I got.
I think I got a salad or something.
And it was like the salad was like wealthy
and Mary Beth wrote in, 60 bucks in gift cards.
I think I've found my new thing. I don't think that's very
charity because she's not in people's faces. She's writing a reason, a
reasonable letter about her experience of the restaurant. She's not being like,
I'm sure I know her. They're not like, don't lump her in with the
carons. Yeah. Like she's not going after them in a vicious type of way,
right? No. No, I think she just reports like, hey, here's what happened.
Great.
With Outback shoes, like, you know, usually we like the restaurant, but this time it was
just particularly bad.
Okay.
The service was awful.
It took like an hour by the end.
Like, lunch, I don't want to eat lunch for an hour.
Dude, I just spent a week in a fucking retirement community in Florida.
Oh, I sound like a lovin' man.
I love eating dinner at like 430.
No, I don't mind that.
The lifestyle I can get with, the village is Florida, what my parents are.
It is, if you don't know what the villages are, it's the biggest retirement community in
like the fucking world.
It is massive, right? It's the biggest retirement community in like the fucking world. It is it's massive, right?
It's massive. It's it's this community that's built around these town squares and each town square has its own theme ones
at a Wild West, one's a Spanish Springs one and then the community spreads out for miles around these two squares in it at night.
Every night
They have music and dancing in the square. they have all the restaurants in the square,
and all the old people getting their golf carts,
and they drive down there, and they all drink and dance.
And honestly, it's a fucking...
Ooh, a lot of it.
It sounds pretty fun.
It's awesome, and it's over,
but every night everybody's done by 9.30.
Like, you said it starts at 5,
and put it's fun.
Like, and they play, you'll go down there,
like, you'll be driving the golf cart,
and you'll be headed towards the to brownwood square
Which is where I spent my time and it's a wild west themes, you know how much I love
Yeah, and stuff like that and like you're driving and softly you hear like the faint sturings of great balls of fire
You know whatever golden all these that they play for six hours straight. They have a live band
It's not even like it's like they're hitting play. It's like some dude in a white shirt going,
come on, everybody get up.
You remember this one?
You know, it's all shit like that.
And I fucking love it.
It's a little saccharine.
It's a little, there's no chaos.
Like everything is, this is for old people
who are like, I don't want any surprises.
Nobody's allowed to live in the community under 55. Like if there were grandkids there, they're only allowed
there for five days and they have to have a pass. It's like, you know, it's
pretty sweet. We're not going to turn it into a free-fall for everybody. They're
not going to, but the service is, and I know I'm a New Yorker and I willingly trade a certain amount of politeness for speed.
Right.
Like if I go into a restaurant in Manhattan and you know the waiters just pleasant enough
but he gets the fucking food there fast and the order is right.
I'm fucking down to clown man.
You don't have to suck my dick.
Just get me my goddamn burger here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like it's fine. So down there it's, not only are they not sucking your dick,
but the service is the fucking,
at one point me and my brother,
we're like, we gotta get out of this fucking house.
Let's go down to the town square,
we'll have some drinks at World of Beers, which is great.
Actually, I don't want to disparage World of Beers.
World of Beers service was actually the best out of all of it.
An unnamed place we went to down there and like we're sitting there for 20 minutes.
Not even a menu dropped on the table. And it's like I have learned I cannot, you know,
I can't carry that. Right. I can't carry that. There's nothing I can do. I just have to take
whatever fucking comes and I have to shate the shit with a smile.
I can't ever complain.
So this is my lot in life.
My brother Jimmy is not, he can carry on.
Oh, he carry on.
So like 20 minutes and he's starting to get heated.
So I'm like, let's just go somewhere else.
Go to another place.
It's fucking another 10 minutes before they even come to the table.
And everywhere we go, we've got a home-do bottle pick up
some stuff from my mother, loads, whatever the fuck.
Can't find anybody.
And then like when you find them, and I love Florida,
I don't rip on Florida, Key West,
my favorite place on the planet, I fucking love the state,
but like God damn man, can a dentist move into town?
So I can, nobody's got teeth in this.
I got the woods that I'm in.
And like, there's nobody's around.
And then when they talk to you, it's like they look at you.
Like, you're a fucking moron.
And I'm just like, where's the fuck?
I need this valve for a toilet.
And they just look at you like,
you don't know where the fucking valve for the toilet.
It's like, it's like this.
No, I do.
I just thought it would be more fun to have you along.
Yeah, I thought I'd wander around.
I know it's in the plumbing aisle. I got it. Like, we're here. I just thought it would be more fun to have you along. Yeah, I got that I'd wander around. I know it's in the plumbing aisle.
I got it like we're here.
I just can't find the fucking thing.
And it's like that ever except for,
and now I'm ranting a little bit.
I love it.
Shooters world.
Do you know shooters world?
I don't.
Shooters world is, it's a shooting range,
which I haven't been to since that one
we went into in LA like 15, 20 years ago.
Wow, well back. Because that was probably about 20 years ago.
There's me, you sound stacey winner.
Yeah.
And after that experience, I was like, I'm never going into one of these again.
Because remember, it was like in the bad part of town.
And real bad.
Oh my God.
It was right next to Skid Row.
It was in Skid Row.
It was essentially in Skid Row.
And like the people who were firing there looked like they were like about to rob banks
or fucking halt like it was like,
it was really scary to be in there.
I don't have your member and I was like,
I'm not going in here, I'm not doing it again
because these people don't look like they know
like they care about responsibility.
So, but you know, Florida old people,
my brother wanted to go, my uncle was there,
he is a gun he wanted to go, my uncle was there, he is a gun, he wanted to go.
So we got totally different experience.
Dude, it's like the,
I fucking Apple store of gun store.
I'm not even a gun guy, you know?
Right.
And you walk in, the sheer amount of guns
was, I'd never seen anything like it.
It's, it's, take the best by,
same amount of products,
roughly the same size,
100% guns in ammo.
It was fucking crazy.
But I felt safe.
And I'll say that at Shooters World, they fucking know how to treat you.
They got to shoot his world card.
They came in, they got to take care of efficient, fast,
so Shooters World was the only place in Florida that I felt I got any good service.
But then my uncle's like, you could rent, like, you could rent anything for 15 bucks and shoot it.
Right.
Like those fucking Punisher guns with the two fucking legs on the side of the shooting.
And machine guns, my uncle's like, nah, they charge you to rent those.
And I'm like, yeah, I know.
And he's got 22.
He's like, well, just, we'll just shoot this. We'll like yeah, I know and he's got 22
Like we'll just we'll just shoot this we'll just say you know, you know, I gotta pay them 15 bucks. You guys 81 right so what am I so here? I
Eat that fucking here goes right again. You got it uncle. You got it. Let's shoot the 22
It was just fucking 18 year old girl who's fucking hot too. She was two lanes down and she's fucking firing like a bazooka
There's my gong on
But I won't even penetrate the paper
It's same fifteen bucks though. Ah, shoot as well anyway. Sorry
It's fucking madness, man slow service. Yeah, I'm incredibly, sage tells me,
and Mary Beth tells me that,
like I'm the most impatient person ever.
Like, if I sit down at a restaurant,
like we go to Chili's for lunch, which I,
like the more I go to Chili's,
the more I'm like, why do we keep going to Chili's?
I don't know why you're still all in on Chili's.
Yeah, once I started charging for chips, I was out.
Well, here's the thing, I get the bottom of soup
and salad and the chips comes with it. So. You shouldn't have to gain for chips, I was out. Well, here's the thing, I get the bottom of the soup and sell it and the chips comes with it.
You shouldn't have to game the system.
I have to.
I shouldn't have to for free, they gave us free chips
for fucking years.
Yeah.
And now they'll do it if you sign up
with your email address.
No.
Like that little thing, that little kiosk thing.
So get the kiosk off the fucking table.
It takes up too much room.
And everybody touches it and leaves it there.
It has fingerprints all over it. And they'll tell and leaves it there. It has fingerprints on it.
And they'll tell me you wipe it down.
I've seen who fucking works here.
Yeah.
He's worked up.
I can't see that dude.
A week in Florida, my parents house is that small.
It's not like, but it's like a ranch.
Right.
And it's fucking like 13 people in this two bedroom house.
Right. And I'm like fucking, I'm on a fold out couch for six days.
And I like, mate, and I love everybody in the house, but you're like, I'm not used to.
You know me.
I live alone.
Like I'm not used to like, towards the people around me and stuff like that.
And it's like, yeah, like not a room to sit.
And I don't want to complain because I did love being around them.
But look, any situation, if you don't have, you know,
dude, you could be around six, you could be around 13 super models for a week,
and you would still find something to be like, oh, yeah,
this shit. Yeah, I got to go. Yeah. So I imagine that to Mary Beth.
She was like, yeah, what's cute on for Christmas? I was like, oh,
I went down to visit his parents and I explained situation. She goes,
why would he do that?
I said, I don't know.
I feel like he's wondering the same right now.
Yeah, yeah, I, in next time I'll just rent the place,
but yeah, so I'm, I'm, so I don't know how we got on this.
Sorry.
Yeah, that's okay.
All right, but we're talking about food.
So yeah, when we got, you know what we got, we got green chef, we don't talk about green got on this, sorry. Yeah, that's okay. All right, but we're talking about food. So, yeah, what do we got?
You know what we got?
We got green chef.
We got to go for a little bit here.
Green chef is a C-C-O-F.
I don't know what that means, but they're certified,
so that's a good thing.
Okay.
Meal company.
Green chef makes eating well, easy with plans
to fit every lifestyle, whether you're keto, paleo,
vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free,
or just looking to eat a more balanced meal. Green Chef offers a range of recipes to suit your preferences.
You get 24 recipes weekly with the option to mix and match from different preferences. Enjoy vegan
one day, keto the next. Time-saving recipes packed with fresh produce and vibrant flavors to help
you make the most out of those long summer days. I don't know what I'm talking about summer right now, because a copy is from July 7th.
That makes sense.
Green Chef saves you time by cutting down a weekly meal, planting, prepping, and grocery
shopping.
Exciting and delicious meals support a healthy lifestyle.
Green Chef helps keep meal time interesting without sacrificing taste.
And well, with seasonal produce, premium proteins
and organic ingredients you can trust.
Green Chef is the number one meal.
Green Chef is the number one meal kit for eating well.
My favorite green chef recipe, I already have this written down.
Pesto Parmesan chicken, fucking delish.
Who do I cook with?
I don't cook with anybody.
Well, I'm a goddamn man, green chef Yeah, who you try to love us in with?
Yeah, Rosie does the cook it in the green chef saves her a lot of time. Oh
Mm-hmm. All right
How do green chef offerings fit my diet or lifestyle?
Portion control of breeze the recipes are flavorful and easy to follow says Mary Beth
Well, I better start thinning down green chef because we're using you.
And if I stay fat, I'm holding you personally responsible.
So if you want some green chef stuff and you should,
go to greenchef.com slash T-E-S-D-135 and use code T-E-S-D-135
to get $135 off across five boxes.
And your first box ships are free. ESD 135 to get $135 off across five boxes.
And your first box ships for free.
So go to greenchef.com slash TESD 135 and use code
TESD 135 to get $135 off across five boxes
and your first box ships free.
I really do enjoy greenchef and their food.
That's true,
because it's, it comes with direct, and sometimes Mary Beth makes stuff that I'm like,
sometimes she makes shit that I'm like,
that's not human team,
that's not fit for human consumption.
What, is she's bad?
No, she just makes like, she made this stuff the other day,
I almost threw up.
It's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I've heard of it with all this stuff in it. Yeah, like I remember, my mother used to make tuna melts
when I was young and it was like a piece of toast
with like warm tuna fish on it.
Okay.
Oh, it was fucking disgusting.
You don't like tuna melts.
I don't like tuna.
Okay, so I do like tuna, and now I don't really like fish at all.
So that could be a two, but oh my god, it smelled vile.
And like whenever she makes something I don't like,
I can't help, I'm like, oh, what is that? Yeah, and then she's like you know
I don't like it when you're constantly commenting on what I'm about to eat. It's like I don't do that to you
I'm like cuz I eat good stuff
Green chef, yeah, give me some green chef. I won't be fucking regurgitating my fucking breakfast
I fucking I had a girl
In my early 30s who made me a meal and I did something similar like oh
And she was like I'm never cooking for you again. She never did. Yeah, no, I was told me a lesson
But that's the greatest thing about being an adult though because I remember as a kid having this slop thrown in a trough in front of me
They're pan being like eat it, it's tuna melt.
Don't just stare at it, eat it.
Yeah, I did.
And I'm like, as an adult, I'm like, wait, I don't have to eat this shit anymore.
I don't have to eat gross stuff.
Yeah, and like, honestly, like, you know, I'm a big fan of Mary Beth,
I usually take her, I try to take her perspective.
Yeah, I know.
Well, I just try to get you to look at it from her point of view sometimes a little
bit, but honestly, you know, man, if you're listening to this, you can pull this clip.
This is coming from a fan.
You know, maybe you shouldn't make things that the guy doesn't want to eat.
I don't know.
She doesn't expect me to eat it.
She's no, she knows there's no fucking way I'm eating it.
Oh, I see.
I thought she was like serving it to you, both.
No, I come down under like,
cause like a lot of times we'll eat lunch
and we'll watch a TV show.
We'll read a bunch.
So I have myself, which is nice turkey and all of them.
You make it yourself?
No, of course not.
I'm a goddamn man.
That's so wait.
So now wait, hold on.
This is why I take her side.
Because now not only is she making you something
that you want to eat, you're a chance, making something different that she wants to eat.
What is wrong with an all-American turkey and cheese sandwich on Rye?
It doesn't smell, it's not just thinking up the whole place.
What's wrong with all this fancy fucking exotic shit? Oh, it reeks. I call it
tuna slop. To the what? Tuna slop. Oh boy, I don't know, man. Yeah, this smell thing I
could see because I don't, you know, peanut butter gives me a headache. So anybody I've
ever dated, I've had to have the talk with him.
I've been like, you cannot eat peanut,
it's a peanut butter around me.
Right.
You know, and I've gotten, like,
and I've had to be like,
that annoys, that annoys people,
girls that I've dated.
Right.
But I love peanut butter.
And I'm like, well, I'm not saying you can't eat peanut butter,
I'm just saying you can't have it around,
I gotta have it.
Look, what the fuck do you want me to do?
Right.
But what am I supposed to do?
That's every kid in school now.
Like, when I went to school,
like when I was in grade school,
if someone were to come up to you and be like,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
you can't bring peanut butter and jelly to school.
Yeah.
Then you're like 90% of the kids are needing that day.
Sure.
Because it was a poor town.
That's how everybody grew up.
You can peanut butter and jelly.
My childhood was surrounded by peanut butter and jelly.
It's a constant headache.
Always in headache, huh?
Always in headache.
And all I'm saying is now that I'm a fucking adult male
in my own house.
I don't want peanut butter, man.
Right.
But you know, that were question-wise people.
Huh.
Yeah.
So I don't know what side we're with.
I learned that early on about you on peanut butter. I've always steered clear of like a
Appreciate that of eating anything peanut butter laced like a Reese's or something. Yeah. Yeah, I know you don't like it
Most people like even Murray who eats with no
He'll just eat whatever around that he doesn't eat peanut butter on me. It's pretty good
Yeah, I think most people care about my headache. I hope so
I spend every day with these people. You think they would care. But the tuna slop, I don't know, man. It wreaks, dude. Yeah. Maybe she shouldn't make it when you're
home. It's tough to smell. Yeah. Maybe you guys need more time apart. A little bit of space.
Yeah. It's a big enough house that like we could eat in different rooms today. I think
so, man. I think you guys are still newlyweds and stuff like that.
I get that, but you have that basement with the bar in it.
That should really be a fucking, that should be your dead with the gem saloon down there.
That's what you need.
And then no girls allowed.
Oh yeah, you man, girl here.
Yeah, that's what you need.
No ma'am.
Yeah, maybe you just need a little time,
like you got to spend a lot of time together, right?
We do.
It's weird, we spend a lot of time in the house together,
but do different shit.
It doesn't, like she's always doing something.
Yeah.
And unless we're watching TV together,
we're really not, like interacting.
Yeah, you don't make it seem like she's on top of you,
or anything like that.
But I'm just saying, when it comes to food, like maybe it's okay to just be like go you tune upstairs, man
Yeah, we're just straight it from your diet
You don't do cons anymore, right?
No, I might get back into it. Yeah, like why did you stop that?
People stop asking
Mingos fucking everywhere Mingos because of, like they can't keep him out.
I see, you know, like he'll, I think this is my feeling
on what Ming does.
I don't think Ming's necessarily invited to cons
the way he used to be when we were in a cop.
Okay, he doesn't work in a manager or someone?
I don't think he works with a manager.
I think he does it himself.
I think he's made enough connections over the years
since he's such a great networker
that he's very, he does stuff for people like, you know, the con promoter
to help him out with sure, you know, he's invaluable asset to a con, I think.
Not necessarily as a celebrity draw anymore, okay, or ever.
He seems to have people that enjoy seeing him out.
Oh yeah, definitely.
But I spoke to him recently and I said, you know, if there's some, I think what happens
is I think he pays for his room and his flight and then whatever he makes at the table.
I think they give him free table space.
Okay.
I think that's the way it was.
It's not a bad deal.
That's me purely speculating.
We could double check with him just to make sure.
But I asked him recently when he was going to Dubai, I was like, look, I don't necessarily
want to go to Dubai, but like maybe some local cons like just and I remember not liking them like not liking to do cons
Okay, but I think I got to get out there and travel a little bit more. I think so. I think you good for you
Yeah, I've been like I mean, I was in Florida fucking month ago and I'm ready like oh my god
I gotta get out of here winters are historically tough on you man
Yeah, you don't you don't handle winters well And like we were talking a bit before I was sometimes we talk I forget
this mic in front of us and that we're people listening. But like what we're talking before
about is how like your home since you just moved in isn't fun yet. It's just fucking
I remember when I moved in here took years before I enjoyed this place. And you're you're
in the middle of it, man. So home isn't fun for you. Right.
And the winter's here. The medication thing's going on with you.
It's like, you know, you got a lot going on.
A lot of strikes. I think you got a lot of strikes. I think you got to stop building some.
I think I think traveling like that would be good for you.
Yeah. Just a weekend away, you know, like, you know, like,
you know, like, you know, like a month,
may put up this thing. It was on Instagram. I'm pretty sure it was, you know, like, one month, Ming put up this thing. It was on on Instagram. I'm
pretty sure it was, you know, let me look because I really want, I really want to be
sure on this one because I was fucking blown away. Okay. By how many fucking flights this
guy took inside of one year? Oh, really? Yeah. It was, uh, can I guess? Yeah. Go ahead
and guess. Okay. Flight two and from so that's two flights automatically so if he does
52 weekends a year. Let's say he does half of those cons
So that gets us for into 30 some flights in between 35
60
You're close. Yeah. 75 flights. Okay.
85,000 miles, he flew.
Wow.
Over the course of a year.
All right.
The average.
So that's nine days and 11 hours.
35 airports, five airlines.
Yeah.
Dude, when we were doing 130 shows a year, I mean, yeah, you guys are flying all over the
place. I was not lived on you guys are flying all over the place. I live on planes.
So I get it. But yeah, I think I think it cons me. Look, you make a little money, you get out there,
you meet other people, you fucking rub some elbows. Get sick. I think you usually do.
Party a little bit, you know? Yeah, I could like, I could, yeah, never party, though either.
I always went right back to my room and maybe go to to a fucking bar. The hotel bar. They're gonna bar with me.
Go to bar with me.
Yeah.
Be right.
You have to worry about the kid.
There's no doubt there'll be some lovely ladies around
that I can look at.
Yeah, look at, talk to.
Yeah.
From the corner, I know the way I have all the sense of corner.
Just talk to any of them.
Yeah, why not, man?
Like, there's the creepy gut.
I mean, look, in our con days, we always had fun.
We just talked so much fun when we were
around the cons back in the day.
Yeah, it was, like, strangely, it was more fun doing cons
when we were, like, working, like, with, for Kevin.
Yeah.
Doing that stuff, then it was once people were, like,
coming up and saying, I hate that, man, while I was talking to Walt about it
recently where like, for some reason, people still to this day
think that like you're sitting there for your health
and not for money, and so they'll come up and like,
oh, oh, it's not free and Walt's like,
like he's just like, it's painful.
And I agree with that.
It's like, you get used to it after a while
if you do enough con, you get used to it
because it's like, BQ has $100 in his wallet.
He's like, I can get three pictures
while I'm here of people.
A lot of times, the compliment didn't make the cut.
You know, because I mean, you're talking,
you got every fucking walking demo.
You're right over there.
You're right over there.
You got all kinds of people there
that you're like, well, if I'm gonna spend money
and my money's limited,
do I really need a picture with fucking beard guy?
Sure.
Well, they could say that about anything, but sure.
Right, yeah.
I just feel like we did it fall high on the packing list
of people, like we had lines, I mean, I will lie.
There were times when I'm like,
I can't believe how many people are in this line
to get a picture of us.
Times change, man.
Like I also don't want to sit at a table for fuck, Ming said that in Dubai, the expectation was for you
to sit there for 10 hours at your table every day.
Oh fuck that, who is enforcing that?
I don't know, well I don't know,
I don't want to disobey him over the least.
I don't want to leave the country.
I think you know, fucking hang it from a cream
and a soccer stadium
He sat there for seven hours
This fucking Ming watch you
I stay 10 hours. Yeah, I stay my 10 hours. I'm going on to the next column
And one of the funniest things ever is still you having a heart attack in the mall You remember this conversation it's got to be 20 years old this boy
Teenage girl watching you die. Yeah, and they're like they were crowded around me just watching
It was at a time when cell phones were popular enough
That they were like video like look at them. He's twitching
I was in a food court. Yeah, if I remember correctly
Nobody helped me
The girl the teenage girls were disgusted.
Like, yeah, look, there's foam coming out of his mouth.
Oh my god, there'shumanity of everyone around me.
Why don't I matter?
It's just all goes dark.
The last thing you see is a flash.
Smile stupid
There my Russ saying that would be the death of me. Oh God. I was so fucking funny
I don't know if I've ever left that heart in my life since
Calm down this
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No, you got to go you're busy man today. Yeah busy man today, but I got a couple more minutes
Yeah, I mean we could either do it off the air on the air. It's up to you. Well, I'd like to ask you this question
I thought of a new YouTube channel. I don't want to go out now. I just want to stay in the fucking hang out.
Yeah, I'm like having such a blast.
Yeah, it's fun.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Come back tomorrow.
Right?
I'm not kidding.
I'm sorry.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
Okay.
So recently, there was a storm in the lights went off in the house.
Okay.
We don't have a fancy whole house generator like some people
do. I work hard, man. I know you do. And I don't do shit. I work too hard to go into
servicity. Yeah. But we yeah, we don't we don't have one. So the lights go out. Yeah. And I hear
sage from her room being like, Dada, Dada, because you know, yeah, it's complete pitch black.
because it's a complete pitch black. So I take my phone light, my flashlight on my phone,
and I just open the door real abruptly.
And I go, what's going on?
Why did you record this?
I really should have, because I didn't think I would get the reaction I did,
which was Stark Terror.
16-year-old girl. I would get the reaction I did, which was Stark Terror.
16-year-old girl.
She screamed so loud and then started crying.
And I felt a little bad, but it was pretty funny to watch how scared she got.
Why? Did she not think it was...
She didn't know who it was.
Because I didn't answer.
When she was like, I didn't answer.
I just like, she's on the light and the door and also there's light and her eyes.
And she's sitting on her bed.
I want to snip this part out.
I don't know that you want to sound the world.
Well, this is the idea for the YouTube.
Why would I be like,
Frank super stars in my brain.
Frank super stars in my blood.
Right, right.
And then you can do.
But I was thinking I'm like,
if I start a YouTube channel,
we're constantly scaring the shit out of her like.
Sure, scaring a special needs child over and over again.
Which is, no, I'm not saying I'm gonna do it,
but I am saying, which is more acceptable
to the population at large?
If I do that, or if I do it to Pam.
Probably it's more sad to hold a Pam.
To Pam?
I think so, yeah, there's not so not 77 year old woman. Yeah, I know
But like you remember band Marjara did that to his parents a lot. Oh, yeah, he would like set off fireworks and the room
They put an alligator in their room once yeah, there's something about a special needs child that I think really makes people
Think you shouldn't be doing should I be doing it?
What's her reaction once she sees it's you?
Is it then she like, fuck you, data.
She doesn't say fuck you, no.
She doesn't say that, but she's like, data.
Like, she's like, I'm scared.
And I'm like, it's all right.
The lights just went out.
It's a storm, you know?
I was like, we got lights, don't worry.
And then she's fine.
Yeah.
But it was that initial.
And then another time, like,
she was coming up from the basement. And she's
like at the bottom of the stairs. Like the bottom of the stairs, the lighting in this
house is weird. Lights, light switches are everywhere. Bottom of the stairs turns off the
whole downstairs. And then up top, there's another light for like the little stairway
there. So she turns off all the lights. And as she she's having the stairs, I switch off the light and shut the door.
And she starts screaming.
But in that case, she knows you're fucking over there.
She knows I'm fucking around.
She opens up, she finally gets to the top and says she opens the door.
She's like, that I know I'm scared of the dark.
And I'm like, I know that's why I did it. I'm like, don't do that anymore.
I haven't scared her so much.
But like she does get, it's fun.
I hate to say about it.
It's funny to watch, just to watch her gets scared,
but because she comes down so fast.
Well, yeah, she loves horror movies and all that shit.
She loves all that shit.
She thinks it's funny to scare me.
Yeah. You know? That's it's funny to scare me. Yeah.
You know?
That's what's considered out of you then.
Yeah.
It's good for the goose, little kid.
You're learning a harsh lesson.
You're learning it now.
Yeah.
Well, that she's always trying to teach me.
She'll do something.
She'll be like, that's your lesson.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Over a shit that I'm like, what are you talking about? Like said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something.
I said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something. I said, I'm gonna do something. I was nothing. But something like that, she goes,
that you'd lessen data. I'm like, why? Because the garage door broke. How is it? What's to learn from?
Yeah, I didn't learn anything except I guess I got to put a new battery in it. But like, it's
that kind of stuff. It doesn't really make sense, but she likes to. She likes to listen. She likes
to teach lessons. She likes to have one over on me.
But she teaches lessons to...
Maribath sometimes, yeah. She learns lessons. She learns lessons. Everybody learns lessons except for sage.
Well, she's learning something now. Yeah. When the lights go off, it's an expensive...
She's gonna come back to O'Frank.
Yeah, man, this is fun.
Yeah, this was fun.
And this is one of those space monkeys where we didn't offer anybody any advice.
Well, we talked to each other.
We offered each other some advice, I think.
I think that, yeah, I think that the issues that I'm having personally right now resonate
with other people too, the winter and the drugs.
We have the drugs, but the medication.
Yeah, drugs makes it seem fun.
Yeah, when you came here, you had a haunted look
about your eyes.
I noticed immediately, you said something,
the second you saw me.
Yeah, I'm like, what's going on?
Yeah, but you don't have it now.
You look bright, I feel better.
You know why?
Because the last time we got together was before,
like a week before Christmas,
or a couple days before Christmas,
because we dropped it on Christmas.
So I think we did it on that Thursday.
So it's been over two weeks that I'd seen you or Walt.
Right, right, right. So you just kind of instantly.
I start going, yeah, like I need you guys.
Yeah, no, I feel the same way too.
I'm having a blast.
I wish I didn't have to go out tonight.
Yeah, like I feel so much better just from this past two
hours, like I know if I stayed at home,
I know what I would have been, I would have been
moping around.
Yeah.
I would have been fucking not doing anything.
I would have been.
Dude, I am not kidding.
I come back tomorrow.
I have a, we have a writer's meeting.
I know Sunday, right? Right. And we have a writer's meeting. I know Sunday, right? Right. Right.
I got a writer's meeting for like three hours in the morning, but then after that,
I got nothing going on.
I fucking come back, man. We could record another one of these.
Fuck yeah.
This is shit. They get two episodes in a week to complain about.
Yeah.
Where's what?
It's like a wall.
Where's a wall there?
Peace assholes.
I'm not a good boy.
Why is it water?
Peace, assholes.