Tell Em Steve-Dave - #557: Kissing Bandits

Episode Date: May 10, 2023

Bry’s lack of meds is showing, driving etiquette, IJ cruise, Fat News x2, Jackson Mahomes, portrait update.

Fuck Brian Johnson, fuck seed, fuck Mary Beth. There's no doubt on the asshole. Alright, you're fat. But you're not that fat, like when I look at myself on the screen, yeah, it was disturbing. Tell him, Steve Dave. Hey Walt. Yo. Hey, get him. Are you stacking?

Get him here and by remote. Satellite. Yeah. Internet. Whatever it is. Technology. Hi, hi everybody. Yeah. So let me tell you right up front,acuse remote. We're not doing any video this week

Q. I got so much to talk about all right, but first let's talk about business business a business of setting setting out on the high seas. Yes Right the impractical jokers Cruise has returned slightly altered. We got Eric Andre Cruz has returned slightly altered. We got Eric Andre on board. We love working with them. So actually honestly, if I'm going to, I all credit what credit to do it. This is baby. This is because of Eric. Eric was like, I always wanted to be in one of the cruises and he made this happen. He will this into existence. And I'm very grateful that he did because I'm looking forward to like I'm looking forward to doing it again It's gonna be great. Yeah, same here same here. Yeah, you know what I found out cute. What's that that um like let's say you booked another

Cruise and then the ij one came out and you're like shit. Why did I book that other cruise sure? You can switch to the ij cruise if you want if it's a six man cruise, okay? All right, how did you find that? But part is I find things out. Okay. A little research. Yeah. The bad thing is it costs $300 to switch. Okay. So you have to, you know, so that part sucks, but if you really want to go on the IJ cruise and you've already committed to another one, it's not impossible. Okay. I don't know where we're going with this. I don't know. possible. Okay, I don't know where we're going with this. I don't know. You know, I'm just saying. Well, thank you for doing that research. I appreciate that. Yeah, no problem. Happy to.

All right. Yeah, but it's going to be great. It's going to be, you know, it's, it's, look, it's quite possibly the last one. We didn't think this one was going to happen. So, you know, it's going to be a, we're going all out. It's going to be, it's going to be a manhouse. Yeah, I'm pretty excited by it. Can I tell you, and I guess it didn't make it to way back to you. I accidentally leaked the dates on a live stream Friday. It did not get back to me. Thank God. Okay. I was talking to Sage and somebody asked about the crews and the comment, the comments. Okay. I said, oh, it's the 22 to the 26th of January. And Marybeth's like, well, I was like, well, that's what you told me, right? That's the thing. She's like, yeah, but you're not supposed to say them. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, I didn't know. I thought they were on the poster. They're on the poster. Now everybody to be cool, not spreading around. They weren't, they did it. They're on the poster now. Everybody to be cool. Not spreading around. They weren't. They did it. They did. You know, I got to tell you between this, between everybody being cool about that. And like everybody being like so cool at the Joker's movie screening and not bringing up any tapes that may or may not have been made all those years ago. I got tell you, man, my faith in the answers, not that I was ever really dipping, but that's some fucking, that's some shit, man.

Like that is, that's right or die, yeah. I assured you, didn't I? You did, you did, you did. I assured you, yeah, I told you, man, them answers solid, man. They are fucking solid. You know how they build, ants build a bridge and so that, you know how they build ants build a bridge and so that you know

They they sacrifice like some ants sacrifice themselves by building a bridge over like canyons So the other ants can make it over string. Yeah That's what our listenership is like yeah, I I felt it and when we're doing the the meet and greet like the picture thing at the end Like more than one person whispered to me that you know They that they could have asked the question and they didn't that sort of ball-busting. I appreciate you know I mean like that's that's fair play. I love that so so it was on people's mind and and they didn't ask and I And I was really like fuck man. This is why I've never deviated from saying the answer the they're just the best man Yeah, they really are.

Yeah. We did a Maribeth, sage and I did a live stream Friday. I did not expect it, but people were very generous to sage. Oh, yeah? Because you can send money over YouTube. So like somebody sent 10 bucks, and I was like, oh, that must be for you, you know? Because she thinks she's saving for a Tesla Really what you saving for is her support after I die. She doesn't know what's all going into a trust

Because she has to be taking care of you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow So generous on top she did well They're generous They were really nice and like when I looked at the comments to the live stream and I know I'm opening myself up here Not one negative comment. Oh, wow not one. Yeah, and I was shocked because I mean there I'm that kind of person that can find negativity and anything. Yeah, yeah So I feel that there's like one of my kindred souls out there. It's like fuck Brian Johnson. Fuck see you You're a fuck Mary Beth. Nobody said it though. Nobody said you look at are our unboxing video. Totally different story. Oh really? I'm a mark. Why didn't you guys call me a pigeon?

I apologize. Where did you and your marriage end up on that issue? I mean, I've thought about this a lot since that day. And me too. She hoodw who'd winked to you? I feel like she kinda did, I'm cause, I mean originally I was like, she tricked me to get me in there. Yeah.

And then once we're there, I should have paid more attention. I shouldn't have let her handle it. I should have been like, is it gonna look like this? I was genuinely under the impression that they were taking a picture and then like sort of painting over it.

So it looked like an oil painting type thing. And if you're wondering what we're talking about, it's the unboxing video of the portrait that Mary Beth and I had taken. It's on at T-E-S-D town on YouTube. And another thing, you know, because if you like and subscribe to the channel, like if you like the videos, it raises you in the algorithm, so more people will see videos, I guess. And I was always like, oh my God, all these people, special like button, subscribe. And now I'm one of them. Now I'm one of them.

Yeah, like decades after everybody else, like you're like, did you know that you can, you're like, you discovered this new technology. Like, check this out. And let you know when we make a new video, can you somehow get called's called a notification. Oh. Uh, yeah, so thank you everyone for joining us on the live stream.

Sage is under mullers this weekend, so she won't be doing it again maybe next weekend. Oh, shit. Um, so we got lots of other stuff to talk about. I have, I have a crew, dude, I feel like Julie McCoy from the love boat. Are you on coax? Oh, it feels like Julie McCoy from the love boat. Are you on coke? Because it feels like it happened for a couple of weeks. I know very medically. I've been getting into arguments.

Julie McCoy was on coke. That's why she was removed from the love boat. I replaced my Judy. I wish I had coke. Now, this is me all natural, baby. I was gonna say, oh, the people coming to me, as if I were the cruise director. I have, I got Ming natural baby. It was gonna say, oh, the people coming to me, as if I were the cruise director, I got Ming. Oh, I got Troy Merrill.

I got Frank V and Miss V. Nice. I got Ryan Hurst. Oh, wow. I got, who's, oh Jimmy the Hare guy. I mean, this is like. They have to pay to get on the ship, right? Or are you getting them cabins?

Who may? Yeah. No, I make a fair amount of money on the cruise, but not enough that I can buy cabins for all those. Yeah. I'm just telling you, these are people that have expressed interest they want to be online. Well, I list or something like that. There's for sure a friend's in family rate.

All right, we were allotted like five free cabins like to give away. And I'm already up to like 15 cabins like I'm paying for my family the blah blah blah blah blah so so you know I love Ming Chen but he's got no shot. So he what about you mean the hair guy? Jimmy the hair guy's got less of a shot than me. It would probably be me first. He's the one who bought your hair. I tried to solve him. I saved the money to go on the crew.

Hey, you should have. Can he return the hair and get a cabin? Or can he just use the hair to pay for the cabin? Yeah, slap some hair on a counter. The credit card book comes in, put it in an envelope and send it to the company. My hair is a official tender. Yeah. Yeah.

Just nobody's hair. Yeah, that's his hair. So, but that'd be good. Like, you know, it's a pretty good braid, but like that would be, like, we could have a, like a tell them Steve Dave, kind of like, we could take over like a bar on the ship and make a tell them Steve Dave Tavon. Well, yeah, they're definitely at moots on the ship that yeah gone to but this time maybe

This time maybe down there flying the fucking flag for all of us. Well, no, that's not true. I went one year I went one year. I went to the one in the bowling alley and Okay, all right It was like There was no hanging out for me. It was just like I you know It was just like there's never any hanging out. I just want to hang out But it's it's you know Hanging out is kind of relegated to your room. You just got to fight every day. Yeah, yeah

Although I think well now we're doing because the last two cruisesises, we didn't do a photo, like a photo op thing, because it just takes fucking hours and we didn't wanna do it. And this time, we were like, you know what? We asked for it, we were like, let's do it. If this is the last one or possibly the last one, we want to come in and really be happy. So we're gonna take pictures with everybody in the boat.

So hopefully that'll like lessen, like I'll be able to go to the bar and hang out a little bit. People won't be, I get it. Like they want a picture. I totally understand it. But like maybe if we take the photos, we'll be able to hang out a little bit more.

Right, yeah, people will be like, I got the picture. Got the picture asked for selfie. So that's, so that's what I'm hoping. Like that's what I'm hoping to happen. And we'll be able to hang out a little more with the ants. I need your guys opinion on this too, going back to YouTube. I noticed that on YouTube, like, you know, our unboxing

is like me holding my head and Marybeth just looking at me. You know, the thumbnail is what draws people in. And I noticed that like while we have a healthy amount of views, there are other videos that have way more views. And the thing they all have in common is there's a lady in the thumbnail with like her boobs kind of spilling out of her shirt. No nudity or like she's like, you know,

covering up because somebody's taken a picture of her in a shower or whatever. That kind of thing. So even though it has nothing to do with our videos from now on, do I just put like a thumbnail of Mary Beth that I've taken? You know? Yeah. spill it out. Well that that Trump's the idea I had. My thing was like we should have my instant thought was like well why don't we have some of the 13%ers submit photos for it.

And we use that as being the thumbnail. But but you're but I think I like your idea better. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I hate them both. You hate them both ideas? Of course you do. Of course you do. Unfortunately, I've voted on this one. The no 13% or just like a regular picture of them. No. I don't think that really is that I mean how is is that really selling our brand? It's not, I'm not going to put them up. Well, that's on brand right there. There you go. What do you got? Well, you had something, right?

You didn't get them? Yeah, why is it getting me? Oh, I thought you said you were going to bring up the, you had your topic, one of your topic, your talking points, and I felt like... What are my talking points? Oh, which one is it the frank one? Oh the frank one with yeah, so so Q Frank made the mistake of watching a devil's game with Walton Rupert one time. Yeah, no the day we went to Kmart the night we went to Kmart Yeah, and the devil's one so immediately Frank and I gotta say I was gonna come come down on you for this but now you might be right

frank drives all the way down from upstate new york so he can sit here for the game seven of rangers or stevele's uh... he promised he would come back if if the devil's needed that extra uh... bolt of luck sure he said that he like he, we, we kind of coined him the good luck charm, since he came and they actually won the first game. Then yes, he said he would come back and sure enough, you know, he said he would.

And he did. He drove all the way back down after work and got here and watch game seven. And, and the subsequent games after the first day he was here, we had to have an empty chair with Frank's chair and in addition, Rupp never changed his clothes. Really? Yes. He was wearing the same shirt and everything from when they won the first game. A lot of superstitions were flying fast and furious and once they don't work, they're abandoned completely.

But this one worked for you. Yeah, they won game seven. Rangers lost the game the nuts, right? Yes, but there was one superstition that really I felt turned the tide and that's why I really want Gidham to explain what happened. Well, I feel was a turning point in the series. You because if you get him was a Ranger fan and it was very difficult. I am.

Well, it was. It was a Ranger fan, but it was. It was very difficult to be in it was a double spin now. It was very difficult to be in a room watching a game with somebody who was running for the other team. But something happened that turned the tide and I have to let get them explain what happened. Where we decided to hold up. Hold up, but I sent you a picture of what I'm talking about.

When did you send up? Just about 20 minutes. Oh, okay. I got to get it. Why did you send that? Just about 20 minutes. Oh, okay, I got to get it. I see it. All right. Okay, I see that. I see what we're talking about. Go ahead. Get him.

Well, explain what you did. Explain your little... Your little snarkiness and your little bitchiness of what you did. No, it's not that. No, it's not that. Bitch, you and your fucking bitch. Come back, Adam.

Carma bitch. No, it's not that. They wanted your fucking big car. I'm a bit. No, it's not that. It's they wanted to watch the game here at the at the general store. So I knew that in the back, I had some surplus theatrical supplies I got from the high school. So I had a flashing red light, which I'm not sure if you know when a goal happens in the NHL, a red light flashes. So I decided he's a devil's fan. Of course he knows.

He's been to the game. Oh, the listeners too may not know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I mean, is anybody concerned that that Gettom is now storing garbage from the local high school in the office? You guys like, oh, it's that goes without mention. Dude, it's it's two. We've had it in the office and get a new one. We've had it since 35, but there's other stuff like just a fog machine, a laser machine, a strobe light. We've used it in previous things.

We have utilized this equipment. Okay. He's found in a dumpster. Yeah. I set it up with the remote control so that whenever, whenever anyone scored a goal, the red light would go off. Hold on now. Have you ever done this before previous playoff games?

No, no, have we ever watched a previous playoff game you have here? You have But has more than one person wants to hear has anyone ever watched the playoff game here? Yes or no? I don't believe so you must have I have but besides you set up the light previously No, and it also the painure, the first two games, the Ranger scored 10 goals to the Devil's 2. Yes, yes. So there was a lot of red lights going on for the Rangers. Yeah, I'm finding all the Devil's fans.

So this motherfucker thought it would be funny to put that fucking red light up on the TV and he was gonna be pressing it all night long with that toothless fucking grin. And shoving it in our faces. No, I and who's and so what happened that the Rangers scored the first goal The Rangers did score the first goal. Yes, and what did you are pressing that button with that big grin on? I I did press the button and then you instructed rougher that he go up there and smash that light up I did have to think we were gonna do it

It is face when he did it was fucking priceless Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Even when they're up to like the fuck are you doing this? Me when I'm just sitting there watching the game when I finger over a button You're right back in it, huh? You're right back in it. I was I was yeah pulled right back in but I 98 95 But I felt that as soon as that light got fucking thrown to the ground in anger, it totally changed a series. The Rangers didn't go to score on any more goals. Yeah. And the games that they won. One more goal in the games that they lost. They had a good. They got two shout outs and only one other goal and four games. I love it. Like I said, I flashed that life for every goal for every. Do you thought you were going were gonna be flashing No, I did not it was definitely in your face. I thought it would be I thought it would

Armacorn eyes Heart kind it's a bitch. No, I thought it would be cool to have the flashing red light like you it would be like you're at the stadium Get him nobody believes you for the doubles are just the Rangers everybody was gonna do it for everybody and I did do it for everybody Yeah, except except last night because I took took, I took a, I put my, I licked my finger, put it up to the wind, and I'm like, yeah, I'm not gonna do it tonight, but I did do it when the double score last night. Wow, yeah, I agree with you Walt,

knowing get him as long as I know him, there was definitely a streak in him that was gonna be like fun to press that button in front of you when the range is scored. If you could, it was like shock and horror. And when when Rob went up and fucking pushed it over, he could hear it's a heavy light too. So it's just a ground.

I just look over at him. He's just like, but incredulous. It's still working. It's no work. It's cracked, but it's still worked. You're lucky that you they would have been fucking in pieces of the Rangers were one that serious. But anyway, so Frank five comes down. He stays for the game. The the devil's win. Rangers are gone. And you know, it's the game gets

over like 10 30 at night. So what was like, well, Frank, if you want to just stay and sleep on this couch, that get him sleeps on. you know it's the game gets over like ten thirty at night so what was like well frank if you want to just stay asleep on this couch that get them sleeps on the whole kinds of blue-tru rappers stuff down into the cracks of the questions and shit to you yeah there's like what's it yeah this blue-tru rappers are like all under the

you won't move them why their blue-tru reaction that is yes from no clue they were here before we got here some guessing from the democratic momma county no one is in for me. Yeah. Yeah. Really? So that's a that's a casting couch, huh? I guess so. Yeah. Wow. Well, so what? You sleep on it? Why? Why? Yeah, but I don't think it's wrong to offer that couch to why would you offer me your house? That's what I that's what I had to do. I stepped in and I was like, you could stay in my guest room if you want,

you know, but then he never texted. He just drove right back to New York. And I was like, if this, if the devil's won, these motherfuckers are gonna try to get him to come back again. Sure. And like I was sure of it because they are so superstitious. And then the devil's lost.

So I'm like, how can I, how can I argue it? They might be right. Yeah. Frank might be a good luck charm. Yeah Frank might need to What's the next game tomorrow, but yeah, we can't expect him to come Yeah, you can but he at least like we're looking at Q on uh on screen your We yeah, we thought you put them on that. Yeah, put put the laptop on the chair or possibly like a cutout Oh get one of the like big head things for the wall

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not a bad idea. Yeah, like when when COVID happened They were putting cardboard cutouts of the people up in the stands like they were kind of filled nice There you go People reached out to me. They felt bad for me. It was dub planning and was dropping the hammer on me for those woolite darts Incidentally, I looked it up for you can get that shit on Amazon very easily. Yeah, we're not big online shoppers. We like to go out and do it the old fashioned way and, you know, hope to find it, walk up and down the aisles.

The last store in the state that has it. Because then when we do find it, it's like it's a tiny, like, it's a fleeting rush, but it's still a rush. Don't be hit. Yeah. find it's like it's a tiny like it's a fleeting rush, but it's still a rush Don't be hit. Yeah It's someone who has taken many drugs. I don't think that dopamine hit is the same I don't think it's the same. They said right. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, it's just too easy You also the good of the hospital just to order it online and then it just comes and it's just like there's no There's no way to gather

There's no hour long drive Yeah, there's no way to gather. There's no hour long drive. No, no, no, no. Yeah, with feeling of accomplishment. You get it. There's like something about getting it, holding it in your hands, and the rush continues. And so you get home. When you order it, it's gone as soon as you hit.

Yes. And then when it comes in, you're like, oh, okay, it came in, so I don't have to worry about it anymore. And then, yeah, something. I did notice that the flanagan's pupils were like pinpoints. They were so dilated. They were so excited. Let's see what else do we got here? I got offended. My wife offended me. And I thought, you know, because I didn't think that was possible. I didn't think so either. Somebody, somebody tweeted their like, oh, I love the live stream with that retard and sage.

Ah, which I thought was fun. Clever, clever. It was nugget. It was that motherfucker nugget. Yeah. Yeah. And still my left that I was like, I wrote back. I was like, that made me laugh, you know.

Yeah. And I said something I wrote back. I was like that made me left, you know, yeah, and I said something to Mary Beth. Oh, I made a joke to her and she goes, oh, you were saving that one up, huh? And I was like I was annoyed at that. I was like you are you saying that I couldn't make up that joke in this moment And she's like I just it just seemed like you had it ready and I was like like, I didn't. It really offended me. I was really upset by it. I'm like, you're telling me that like, am I too old now? Am I not coming up with shit faster than you? I think I missed something here.

Like she thought you came up with that joke? No, I made a joke. And then she goes, you've been holding on to that one. Oh, your mother said the same thing to me one time. So you don't, you don't bank jokes? No, never. Never. Almost never.

Okay. Almost never. Almost never. Yeah. I'll admit, I did bank a joke for Mings that I said to Mings. It was Mings dinner. I said he had sold three of them to his wife and kids. That was the only joke so far. That in recent memory that I banked.

Yeah. But other than that, I'm like, I don't like being accused of that shit. Because it makes me think like, am I slowing down? Am I not? Well, whatever it's what to make, as long as the joke is funny at the end of the day, whether whether you came up with it. But it's just a sort of accusatory or like, you've been holding on to that one. Like, I couldn't come up with something in the moment.

I was annoyed. I got to tell you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very on edge lately, Q. We haven't spoken but yeah, I feel very what's going on getting into arguments with people that kind of shit Yes, what's going on? I Think is I'm a medicated Well, I want it how how there's no way to get medicated still

Now there is but like the medication that they give me it makes me feel like dead inside more so you know, okay So I don't want to take that shit, but I'm really trying to keep it in check lately like I realize That I'm getting too mad at something so I try to pull it back. Sometimes it's not possible. Well, that's maturity That's good. I just I'd hate to see you because sometimes you get like Like I've seen you get that far away looking your eyes, you know what I mean? Like and and and like you start seeing far away looking your eyes, you know what I mean? Like, and like you start seeing some things that might not necessarily be there. So I don't want you to, I don't want you to fall into that.

Is that what you're at? Kind of. Oh, yeah, you can't. That's not good, bro. Thankfully Mary Beth has a take the brunt of it. Sure. No accused of me not making up jokes on the spot. I talked her for three days.

Have you tried the pins and needles needles and pins method? Oh, Ralph Cramden. Yeah. No, I haven't tried that. That might work. Where you stop and you count to 10. Pins and needles needles and pins, it's a happy man that grins. And he counts to 10 and say, what am I angry about? Right. Probably the same thing. I would be angry the same thing.

Okay. But I've been trying to keep it in check. Right. Yeah. What about another medication? Call me an idiot the other day. She called you an idiot. Call me an idiot. Yeah, because like, you know when you're coming from Wawa over Redback and you're going over the bridge in Redback, I'm gonna try to describe this for people. I do it every. So you're okay. So you're going straight and you're going across a bridge, but the way this road is, it's like you sort of have to like, yeah, adjust. Yeah, it's like a dog like, almost.

A dog like, yeah. So we're driving back from somewhere, and if I continue to go straight in this lane, I'm going to hit the other, the opposing traffic head on. So you have to kind of like go around them and, you know, to stay in your lane. So I start driving and I go watch what I do to this guy. And I just kept driving at him and driving at him until like his eyes got real wide and like he's straightened up and then I pulled away.

I don't know man. I think maybe you should get back on the medication. I, not funny. Well, what if he had reacted badly? What if he had fucking swirled up the road? Yeah, it could grow back. No, you should never know what the other idiots going to do. Right. Well, he was on a stoplight.

He couldn't go anywhere. He could have tried to accelerate and go to the left, which would have put him into those other two lanes right by that abandoned gas station. So is it an idiotic thing to do then? Is she right? It was funny. You want to laugh. I know if you were with me, you want to laugh. It's certainly not a very safe thing to do that is she right? It was funny, you were to laugh, I know if you were with me, you were to laugh.

It's certainly not a very safe thing to do. I didn't give it like inches, it was definitely like enough to end up like this. Well you know what, I'd also be lying. I'd also be lying if I didn't say like I've done, you know, goofy things like that behind the wheel. I sell, yeah, yeah, so but. So anybody out there judging us? Well, it's just like, I don't think you should be ping ponging around like an unmedicated road warrior

Like I think like maybe you should try a different medication Yeah, if anybody knows what medication I should be on I was on lithium and what the fuck was the other shit? I can't remember the other stuff. Oh, depa coat. I don't want to take either of them So if you know of medications other than them, tweet me, tell them Steve Dave. What about a, I like blind spotting people. Like I just exist in their blind spot. And it's even easy.

It's even easier nowadays, because that little light comes out. So I know I'm right there. But what is the benefit of that? I wish I had a blind spot for you. Can't you exist in my blind spot? I don't understand that like that isn't that like exactly what they teach you not to do when you're driving is driving people's blind spot? I Remember I started doing it with my mother when I'm a follower her

I remember I started doing it with my mother when I would follow her That's not what I asked though, that's not what I asked like isn't that what they teach you not to do it's that's isn't that dangerous? I don't remember well, that's why like I said I do it with cars and have that little light on it now But why why do you do it? It's just you know when I'm driving'm driving, it's just something to, you know, just do while you're just driving along. You just do it to be annoying. I don't know. Because you know you're in the blind spot and you're not making any effort to get out of the blind spot. You're the guy that I'm like, what is this asshole's problem?

Them and people in the passing. Yeah, if they got a key. I was in the middle town the other day. I almost got, this is like, this is why I got to get medicated. This fucking guy. I wear at a light and he's in the passing lane. I'm in the passing lane. I'm behind him.

He starts going now. We're by the middle town police station. We're by McDonald's, which you know where it is. It's like, I don't know, half mile away. The motherfucker still going 30 miles an hour. So I just give him a little hot. Like come on. Get over, you know, because he's fucking neck and neck with somebody in the

an elephant race. So he drops behind the guy. fucking neck and neck with somebody in the person. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And elephant race. So he drops behind the guy, he goes over and then gives me the finger. He's the finger. I fucking slam on the brakes and then I start riding parallel with him. I roll the window down. I'm like pull the fuck over. Pull the fuck, he's like a guy looks kind of my age, you know.

It was, it's just, he pulled over but then like I I passed and he pulled over into a parking lot and went around. I guess he didn't want to mess with that kind of shit. But don't fucking do that to people. Unless you're willing to fucking step out of your car and settle it, don't be a little fucking pussy and give somebody the finger and then drive away. But why? That's one of the great benefits of the vehicle is the finger in the room. He escaped?

Yeah, I mean, it drove me crazy. Why? I couldn't even enjoy my lunch. I don't know. I don't know. And everybody's probably like, oh, he's an asshole. Which is true.

But. Yeah, that's concerned. I need a little medicine, that's all. Yeah. And I haven't fought with anybody though. I haven't been mean to anybody. I haven't done anything bad. I haven't, like. That's all. Yeah. I haven't even talked with anybody though. I haven't been mean to anybody I haven't done anything bad. Haven't like any of that shit. Just people have fuck with me. I don't like it I think I'm the guy that like that can be the cause of some of people's frustrations on the road when I like when I'm driving

Sometimes I'll stay in that that fast lane. I've just forget I'm there and I'll start to like daydream Mm-hmm and understandable, but if somebody's like, hey, it's trying to pass me or I'll give you the like. It's gonna make me the finger and everything. I'm always more just kind of like, wow, I fucking, I can't believe it. I know I'm wrong. And I don't get mad about it.

I'm just like, I just go fuck like I just gave me the finger and I was like, yeah, because you're in the fast lane. I'm like, I know, I just forgot. I go, I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I have a tendency to daydream at times. And sometimes it's what I'm driving, which isn't good. I get in that lane, and I forget. I hear you.

I re-rendered somebody daydream in the looms. You get distracted by a song. It could be a song, could be anything. It could be you know like you know Caught up in what I'm like the game later on that night or it just could be anything and and all of a sudden And I got the like five or six, uh You know people on the road fucking trying to fucking let me know on public enemy number one Like are telling me I'm number one by using their middle finger. We know I never Give anybody the finger never we had to return the you-hull truck

after we helped his Brother Lou and I'm in the lead to the you-hull truck behind me and I get to the I get to the you-hull place which is by all American Chevrolet and I'm like Where's what? And like the guy comes out of his driveway. He's spiking out of his driveway. No, because we had left it the same time. I had seen him behind me. We just like we missed by one light.

And I'm like, it's now five minutes later. And I'm like, what's Walt? And like the guys out there waiting to check the truck in because I told him, hey, we're on the trucks about to come in. And like 10 minutes later, he finally comes into the, the, the, you whole place. And he's like, oh, I got distracted by a song. I missed it and then I missed the other

C'mon turns and I tried to make a U-turn and I'm like, oh my god. It was I had a tiger by survivor. Oh, all right. And I missed it. I missed two U-turns because I was like listening to the lyrics. You were doing the let's all go to how the movie or no. It was the camera movie. Yeah. I was like, I was changing the words from I had a tiger tie or the movie or no, it was the camera movie. Yeah, I was like, I was changing the words from I the tiger to I the turtle or something. I was really intently listening to the lyrics. I just kept driving. Well, at least I know what people in the passing

layer do. It's ridiculous shit. He's probably singing I the turtle. What about a couple of let up stay here for a couple of minutes. That was fun. Yeah. Oh, it's American musical supply. Oh, we got two ant sponsors this week. I have a turn all. What about a couple of them? What about a few? Stay here for a couple of minutes. That's fun. Yeah. Oh, it's American musical supply.

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for $20 off a purchase of $100 or more. That's $20 off using the promo code TESD, a check out for $20 off a purchase of $100 or more. That's $20 off using the promo code TESD at American Musical.com. All right, that's the first one. I'm already fucking in for another Blue October concert. Yeah, it's coming up in September. I'm gonna try to get them on the show though this time. So we can talk to them and I can tell them about my pain. get them on the show though this time. So we can talk to them and I can tell them about my pain. Do you think all these blocked over? Do you think they're gonna share that vision,

that going to their concerts of pain? They might not. No, I'd like to hear their defense. Maybe you should let them know that this is a topic before they come in. Yeah. Do you have any topics you're gonna be in the hot seat, Justin? Yeah. What else do we got? I have all kinds of shit written. I'm seeing Jamie Fart tomorrow. Jamie Fart.

And Loretta Sweat. Okay, so for those of you who don't recognize me from the mid 70s, they were hot lips. Hot lips will a hand and Max Klinger and Max Klinger from radar. I mean from a match rather. Oh right. Me isn't getting him. You going to some con with Chuck? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know that because me and Chuck, you know, it's been emailing a little bit lately.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, but I'm finally. Did you turn down and he went to me? What do you say? Did you turn you turn down and he went to me? What do you say? Did you turn down the invite and he went to me? No, no, no, no, I I'm trying to get Chuck to work on something with with us Okay, yeah, just leave for it Faris been under his stuff He's a tough guy told you I told you months ago. I think he's out of my league already

But I'm trying to secure I'm trying to secure his talent For my own purposes I have to give out one thing to oh, you know what I got to tell you ask you something in a second Well if you play Neopets you should friend super underscore puppy underscore girl 444 You should friend super underscore puppy underscore girl 444. Beyond that. I know. This is this is I don't know what this show started. I mean, you're all you're all over the fucking map.

Walt, what does it like to be in the room with these two right now? Cause they seem crazy. And are gentle, right? I am manic. Manic is the word of thing. Iotic. It's it's it's It's pretty unfocused. Yeah.

I need my Adderall. I tried Stratera. It didn't work. I need my Adderall. Okay. I need to focus up. Stratera's extended release non-stimulant. I took it for a month. I'm like this shit. Do you have a problem? I have a definite problem with the extended release. It does not work. I have to go for instant release? I are baby on the way definitely Let's see I looked really fat on the live stream which leads me into I Dude I looked huge. I was I was so concerned. I was like is this stream is this screen stretching?

My god like I look in the mirror and I'm like all right you're fat, but you're not that fat like when I look at myself on the screen Yeah, it was disturbing Ming when the Rangers lost the other night Ming posted a picture and I'm slumped in the chair And don't just the angle look like my stomach was like seven times bigger than it actually is and I'm like Oh, it is not an attractive road to be on camera when you're uh... a weighty in the end boom pop boom

pop boom pop boom boom boom boom boom

boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom I don't know I've done it for years. Haven't had in some time. Walt, you know, a PK subbing or subbing is.

Subbing. Subbing. In the former New Jersey devil, he's a comment, not a commentator, but he does the, he's a host on the NHL telecast. So he was slammed for a fat phobic joke at Lizzo's expense, and it was said not acceptable. Yeah, I've heard he's gotten some backlash. You got some flak for it. Yeah, for saying they joke about the joke. Yeah, they were chatting with other panelists about the Toronto Maple Leafs. And I guess somebody said, hey, how do you use how many suggestions is how the Maple Leafs could improve their performance against the Florida Panthers and

They he said maybe they need to pack a Lizzo-sized lunch. They weren't prepared in my opinion Now the joke I don't really under yeah, I don't get the joke. I don't really get the joke So it's now I think you're I think you got it wrong I don't have a wrong reading a radio. No, no, I'm telling you because the first one was they need somebody said something about packing a lunch right and then Sue band tag up with it like yeah, they probably need to pack a big lunch or maybe a Lizzo size lunch. Right. Okay. Yeah. So like he was tagging up on a joke, not on a joke, but on a lunch comment. That's somebody. Okay. A Lizzo-sized lunch. And a big effort.

This is more of a bigger effort. Of course, everybody's upset. You know, everybody's mad that he drew attention to Lizzo's weight. To which I say, one of the jokes not really funny. So like, I would apologize for the joke being unfunny. But as far as apologizing for Lizzo being big, like, can we all stop pretending

that being morbidly obese is healthy? Can we just stop? Well, I mean, can we stop with the fucking bullshit? Well, my thing is, like, she is, isn't she the first one to call herself, like, like, celebrate fatness? So it's like, like, I just saw a picture of her in a Met Gala dress eating fries

and looking all powerful and stuff. Like, so, I, like like aren't he just taking his cute I'm genuinely confused like isn't he just taking his cues from her? She's saying like I'm fine I eat whatever I want and and I'm beautiful so like what's What's wrong with taking her? Just kind of stuff, but that's usually the thing it never bothers the people who you think it's supposed to bother It's people get offended on their behalf on the earth you have all the time and I know but both you guys Let's say let's say you're gonna go to read some comments and all you guys saw were wait comments

Would you think I have you think I have it? You think you have as many as Lizzo gets? I don't know. I don't know how many know. I mean a lot of people support Lizzo. Yeah, but you know that she's probably hammered and that she sees more than Den Brian Johnson does. But she's specifically right here. Imagine why that it makes you guys feel good

to hear those or read those or hear those comments from somebody on national TV. But she writes songs. That's a big deal. She writes songs that are on national TV. But she writes songs. It doesn't make me feel good here. She writes songs that are on national radio about how she's large and, you know, she's in charge and she's okay with that. And she hates, she doesn't, uh, she doesn't embrace the haters. She is, you know, she is comfortable with who she is.

I'm not even a Lizzo Hader, I like Lizzo. Yeah. But, but I mean, to say that she doesn't like that she's bigger than she should be. But basically, you don't need to say it, though. I never to say that she doesn't like that she's bigger than she should be. But you don't need to say it though. I never did say it. I know, but anything's not you, but I'm just saying. But anybody who is saying it, maybe you've got to rethink it and be like, do I need to say this?

Do I need to call this out? Or do I need to, at the possibility of making her or other people feel bad about themselves? I'm gonna say shit about Lizzo if I were him. Because she, like you say, she has way more people who love her than whoever this guy is, this like, devil. So you're gonna hear it. If you make a comment, you're gonna hear it, you know? And it's like, I think pointing out that Lizzo is probably

overweight is just like, obviously, fucking obviously, anybody who looks at her and sees it, but if you're gonna make fun of her for it, and maybe he wasn't, maybe he was just like obviously, fuck it obviously. Anybody who looks at her and sees it, but if you're gonna make fun of her for it, and maybe he wasn't, maybe he was just like, maybe he was just like, like he's a Lizzo fan, and he's like, she needs a Lizzo-sized lunch because she eats a lot. Like she says in her songs,

like she says at the Met Gala or whatever, which is the second fat news. I kind of think he had that one in his pocket, much like you did. Mary back to the house. Oh, I know. Don't say it. You know that PK was had that one in his pocket up much like you did. Don't say you know that PK was had that one at the at the ready. It's on his own points. But the the next one and I was happy to see this.

Your buddy, Jamila Jamila. Jamila slams met Gala's famous feminist for celebrating known big, Karl Lagerfeld. And this is why people don't trust liberals. Because I guess Karl Lagerfeld was a big like, anti-fat guy. Like he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's an old, he was an old school fashion guy, right? Like he was, yeah, he's an old school fashion guy.

Curves don't have, don't have any business being in fashion. That kind of shit. So, uh, he's a little fashion guy. Curves don't have any business being in fashion, that kind of shit. So all these fucking celebrities, the Met Gala is disgusting. Is it, you get invited to the Met Gala and you go, Q? Yeah. I'm gonna call you disgusting. Well, I don't think there's any danger

of either of those things happening, so I'm fine with that, but like, it doesn't just raise money like for, could the museum? Isn't that all it is? It's all, it's a bunch of celebrities. Yeah, fuck and go out of their way to dress like assholes. So, Jamila, the rich person's thing. It's a rich, fucking, we're better than everybody else

kind of saying it. It's fucking corny. And they all kiss each other's asses. And this car logger felt who doesn't like fat people. So, she's calling out The hypocrisy of everybody showing up for some people that are like Over woke and all this other bullshit any other time But since they get to go to the mech gala

Regardless of who suddenly they're willing to they can try Hitler next year See if everybody goes then you know what? That's pretty astute of jimila and and now you know I like her She's a friend. I really, really do like her a lot. But like, that's actually putting herself out there a little bit, like she put all of those people on blasts. On blast as they say.

Like that's, I mean, she's sticking to her guns, man. You know, that my- She got balls, I like her. She's fucking, I'm telling you, man, if you have a matter of dude, you'd love her. She's just, she's awesome. She is, but that's... Carl Lagerfeld said in 2009, nobody wants to see, no one wants to see curvy women.

Then Jamila said, last night Hollywood and fashion said the quiet part out loud when a lot of famous feminists chose to celebrate at the highest level a man who is so publicly cruel to women to fat people, to immigrants and sexual assault survivors she wrote all the women's publications and spectators online chose to gleefully ignore it. He's still alive or? I don't think he's dead now. I'm pretty sure he's alive. So he's had no chance to.

Yeah. She did. She took aim at everybody that was there. That's pretty balsy for a fucking someone who's wearing a ringer in the street. And good for her. I wouldn't do it. A bunch of pussy's, man. They all wanna keep quiet to fucking protect themselves

but not your meal. Yeah, it's good. I like that. Yeah, she stickin' to her guns. I mean, you know, it's great. Good for her. I, that being said, I'll let you right now. If I get invited to go to the Mac All I'd to go to the Met Gala, I'd probably go.

You would probably go? I'd probably go. I don't know if it would depend on who they were celebrating. Well, it would depend on who they're celebrating, but like, I, you know, obviously, if they like it's the Hitler Met Gala, I'd be like, look, man, I maybe hit me next year on this one. But what if it was, what if it was Jared from Subway?

Yeah, I'd probably take a pass on the Jared one too Yeah, no thought they had to celebrate artists Is it just artists? He's a sandwich artist. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Oh, it's a theme always a person or I thought it's like Like what's that the theme's always a person or is it sometimes like spring in New York and everybody dresses and flowers like who villains shit like that? I don't know. Oh, I don't know Oh, I'm not really even sure but I would go all I know is that once a year You see the coverage of this fucking bullshit and it makes a nauseous what are the tickets cost? They're expensive They're really expensive unless your a. O. C. The socialist fucking beg to get in so she could wear her fucking stupid tax the rich dress And then shall I but well I didn't pay for the tickets someone donated them to me right yeah

Yeah, so anyway, do you mean with your meal good on you? And then I'll I didn't pay for the tickets. Someone donated them to me. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, do you mean a little good on you? Good on you. One more spot from another ant. Nice. I know how much you love freight. Freight.

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Do you know how many, I've gotten lots of freight in my day? Never fun, not once. I mean, you know why I like freight so much. Remember in Abrica, Stella, me, Frankus, nine, they were shipping those freight containers and they made it look fun. I think that's how I envisioned tigers. Like what it boxes those crates.

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your first load. Ha, freight, yeah. I've been I've ever followed down like a rabbit hole of like YouTube videos. Sure. I, uh, I fell like into a rabbit hole of, uh, people buying like the cheapest, like electric car on Alibaba, and then having a chip to the United States. And yeah, depending on the freight company, it can be like, they come in and they're just destroyed, but then other, other times they come in, they're beautifully packed and everything. And it's, I feel like that's how Togger would do it. Yeah. You know, um, for anybody asking if Walt is still saying he feels bad for Patrick Mahomes

Walt texted me the other day and said no, he does not Jackson Mahomes Jackson Mahomes. Sorry In fact, it was a I wish I was recording it because Walt's like you were right Oh, yeah, this is about the touchdown dances. What was this again? Yeah, he was the, he's Patrick Mahomes brother. What team is he on? Oh yes, he chiefs. Yes.

Kansas City chiefs. And he was the one that was always dance in an acting corny and shit and I didn't like him. And then we found out that he forcibly kissed a woman and he has been arrested for it. Holy shit. He had a hundred thousand dollar bond after he appeared briefly in court.

I mean, how lucky is he to have a brother that's that famous and rich that like a hundred thousand dollar bond is not a big deal? Yeah, he's pretty lucky. I'm sure his brother would put up the necessary cash to get him out. Sure. But is this really enough? Is this an offense that he could do any real jail time?

I don't I would not imagine well. He was charged with three counts of aggravated sexual battery along with a minor bad. I thought it was a kiss. I thought it was a kissing. I know it just but it's but like he forcibly kissed somebody in the he was accused of sexually and physically assaulting a 40-year-old woman who owns the aspens restaurant lounge in overland park kansas look if he does jail time i mean i don't care but i'm like i wonder if he will do

jail time though i would be really surprised very surprised if there wasn't some kind of intervention or mediation or whatever or pay off you know something along those lines and it's a hundred thousand dollar bond like only ten thousand percent yet i think that's all maybe i'm gonna talk about the uh... the bottom for the 10,000 cash 10% yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, maybe I'm gonna dog wrote the the bond form The video shows him grabbing her face and kissing her while she's standing near a desk

And she can be seen wiping her mouth as he grabs her again multiple times near her throat And then he's next court data set from May 11th He's not allowed to consume alcohol or use firearms, illegal drugs or controlled substances. It will be subject to drug testing. I don't know what that is. Wow. I think we have an answer to a question we asked on this show. God, maybe five years ago, which is like, is there any room for the kissing band in today's

society? Oh, and I think with that, that answers. There's of the kissing band that I'll long over. So yeah, the kissing band is out long over the yeah the kissing band it's out right like that's done I remember at the time we were like oh man like in the it's kind of like fun and cute but we we're learning it's not yeah I don't know now nobody likes it nobody's going to know that it does if some girl ran up and kiss me on the cheek and ran off I want to be upset by it. Well, here's the thing. What if she looked like let's go and I still want to be upset by it and this is this is like my thing

It's just like it's I want because like I have been Kissed against my will many times people run up to me and Paul looking grab me and kiss me my balls have been grabbed To be office anymore. My ass has been grabbed like I I'm learning that by the modern definition of what sexual assault is like I have been sexually assaulted your survivor dozens of dozens of dozens of like dozens of time yeah that's that's that's interesting that's an interesting. That's an interesting way. That's an interesting way to look at it. Just in case anybody's thinking it, I'm not comparing a fake kissing bandit with what Jackson the Holmes did. No, no, that was a conversation

we ran by and kissed me on the cheek. Yeah. You're thinking of like, what's his name on? The one he did the love boat? And he was the kisser. Carman, Carmine, La-Lugusa? Oh, Carmine, Ragusa? Ragusa, okay. He played the Kiss and Banner, love boat. The big Ragu. And every woman on the ship was just dying to get kissed. Oh, really?

It was always this half away from us. It was his half away from Beverly Hillbillies. And like, she's like, oh, if he tries it on me, I'm going to give him some Kung Fu moves and then he had certain she's like Billy Crystal not the way that Billy Crystal maybe girls that like would enjoy Because there are definitely women out there that would enjoy the kissing band that like Maybe girls like that would be into like not them. Oh them alone's grabbing and fucking clawing at the neck but like, you know, you're all over your mouth.

Yeah, like a classic like, you know, domino mask wearing kissing bandit who comes out and smooches your cheek. Like maybe wear a button with like a little like lipstick on it. You know what I mean? Like someone you're, you're like, like when you go to haunted houses and like if you wear the red necklace

their monsters are allowed to grab you. But if you're not they have to be hands Right like maybe like there's a way to do the kissing bandit with consent Somebody's always gonna cross that line. Yeah, you can't trust anybody that wants to be the kissing bandit Anybody's wearing a mask is wearing it for a reason Like across the line. Yeah, I's like crying. No, like across the line. Yeah, I really care about crossing the line. And in the day and age of, you know,

expressive consent and COVID and diseases, I guess really the days of the kissing bad that are just in the past. Good. Well, he's not, he's not the, um, he's not the fun ref scallion that maybe he was once posited as. Yeah. He's really just a, like, rapist-like kind of guy. But I wonder what my reaction would be if I'm walking down the street and let's say a super attractive girl with a, with a mask on, is like, I'm the new kissing band that comes up and like plants one on my cheek and then runs off.

I don't know that I would be upset by that. I would be like, well, I don't know. Kiss and band is pretty hot. You know? It seems like it's just a story to tell later on. It's not, because I think in like the, if you watch the video from the Jackson of Holmes thing and I'm sure God knows how many other incidences where it's like

that's best case scenario. Hot girl comes up Kisses on the cheek and runs away. Like this woman was being forced to kiss. No, like he had her by the neck and shit, you know, that's a kissing primitive. I can only imagine that happens with with other people as well. So I think the romanticizing of the kissing bandit, those days are over. I mean, just recently at an event that we were doing, like some girl tapped me on the show. You know, you do that thing where you put your face

near someone and you tap the shoulder and they look at it and you kiss you. Right, right. So some woman just did that to me, like within the last month. So I've been kissing bandit it Damn, what was your reaction? No My how do you play? Well my other thing is like I'm like I made a comment about COVID and stuff like that But like I always don't want anybody to feel bad

So I'm like, oh, I was like now I got got your COVID and stuff like that. I wasn't like, what are you doing? I got a tattoo just to me. I just, fuck, I don't know. Like, you know, but it, like, man, I'm really learning on this episode that I, maybe I need therapy. I've been, you might. Yeah, I've been really hit on it.

I gotta work through this shit. But it doesn't, you don't get all blushing and everything. No, I get, internally I get annoyed. I get really annoyed. I'm like, I don't want you don't get all blushing and everything. No, I get internally. I get annoyed I get really annoyed. I'm like I don't want you fucking lips on me, dude. Like what what is this? But you know I wasn't a con once a in New Jersey and some girl bit Norman Reedus Like he showed me later on he had like teeth marks on his shoulder because I guess she's like homo zombie And and she bit him and he was pissed. He was not happy about it.

Oh, that sucks. Yeah, that's a little different. That's how the actual apocalypse starts. Yeah, I've been hurt by people. People have jumped on me. People have tried to lift me up. So yeah, it's not fun when people cross the line, but what are you gonna do?

The fuck are you gonna do? Why ain but we can do the fuck you gonna do Wine about it. Nothing you can do. What am I gonna do? I write a book about it Taze him which is coming right? You got to write a book you all the dirt on Murray and so yeah, it dirt on those two boring guys of this No, no, no, I think I have a road of book about like what went like like My experiences it would just it would probably ruin the show for a lot of people. So it's best not to do that That's what we aim to do on tells behind the fake counter. Yeah, we pull the curtain so far back people Well, I wouldn't you know what when I said you're a book. I did not I mean yeah, there'd be a chapter or two

a book. I did not. I mean, yeah, there'd be a chapter or two devoted to the Joker's and the ride that you're on with that. But I would go from small boy till maybe you write it in your 60s. That's a fucking, that's a very interesting tale with a lot of interesting stories to be told, right? I guess. Yeah, I mean, I think so. I've had done an unusual path, but I, you know, I mean, especially when nobody even remembers me, it gives a fuck who I am. I don't think people are going to be like, I've got to get this book. Like, like, 15 years from now, I don't know. Yeah. I mean, who knows, though? BQ Star might keep rising. Q, I'm going to tell you a I mean, who knows? They'll be your star, my keeper, Eisen. Q, I'm going to tell you a story.

I had to go to a convention with one of my ex-girlfriends. It was a Hercules and Cinecon. And there was this kind of no name actor there at the time. I was talking about a book he just wrote. Ken Swarbo. No, it was actually Bruce Campbell. Really? Yeah.

And he was there talking about his new book. And it was really interesting. You read some excerpts. I'm sure it was great. And, you know, it was really interesting you read some excerpts. Some of it was great. And you know, he's gone on to lots of better things. He was in he was Bruce Campbell before Herculeids and Zena. Herculeids and Zena. He was he was a big time actor before that show.

Yeah, but I'll tell you of all the people there. There was only two people there who were like evil dead fans and the rest of them were all atologist fans. I'm telling you, you know, I think that like, dude, you got so, you got fucking, you dwarf. Anybody I know, like, I know. Stories and like really like, and the shit.

But the good stories, you can't even tell. At 60? Maybe at At 60 maybe at 60 maybe at 60 and they're not like almost none of them are sexual It's just how fucking weird things are Like if you scratch the surface of anything. I mean it depending how how I mean how Like if you tell your true life story. I mean, it's got to be sexual You can't you can't Like if you tell your true life story, I mean, it's got to be sexual It's not that guy like who am I gonna write about women that I thought I like I don't want I wouldn't do that I'm gonna fake names you're gonna fake names so nobody else would know I don't think anybody cares I I appreciate the more if you want a salacious self you but I don't I don't I

Don't really have. They can hey press, baby. We are first novel. Man, I'm my fucking all the way, all the like later chapters in my book would be about just fucking feeding squirrels and like shit like that. Nobody knows what it's to the care. Yeah, the later chapters will not have as much action in them. That's for sure.

But that's identifiable, but that's identified identifiable though As they grow older the wild times, you know kind of you know are few and far between but Damn though. Yeah, I think you'd be I think you'd have a New York Times best seller on your hands Just like Bruce Campbell. All right I think you'd have a New York Times best seller on your hands just like Bruce Campbell all right Well, I'll count you know I'm 47 now, so I'll keep it I'll think about it for the next 18 years. We'll see what happens when I get to 65 So now you're 65

Well, so we got here I have so many like that's why this I think this show seems kind of chaotic because I have a lot of notes Right, but like look at all this shit, but the notes. Yeah, none That was the manuscript for Q's books I have a lot of notes and they're not in order so I'm just kind of jumping around jumping all over like the first note I noticed I do something with my mouth when I'm not talking like I'm doing that old man chewing shit I saw it on the live stream and then I saw it on the unboxing video where you're like you know like old guys chew on nothing Yeah, they do that and I don't know if it's like because my mouth is dry or I'm about to talk I'm sitting there like a fucking old fart like

Chewing on my fucking tongue and lips. How do you how do you stop that? I don't know So conscious of it and I'm like do I look like some fucking old goat grazing and shit like on the live stream Everybody feels sorry for me. That's why you want that's like we need tips. I'm showing like an old geezer Look over here look over here. Yeah, just tips. We need tips I'm showing like an old get hired. I'm really I She wants a job there. She wanted one at the time like when she first moved here She applied there for it. She wants to fucking take people like you got you guys got taken The more I looked into it and the more I talked to Helen and I saw people online and it's just like, I look back and I was so mad today. So angry at myself for not just trusting it

and being like, oh, this is what it's gonna be instead of finding out 100%. Yeah, I texted you that night when I got home. I went to the website and I did research. I'm like, nowhere on the website do they say anything but they're just photos on canvas. Like they didn't even try to hide it. There's no doubt on the asshole. On the biggest asshole in this.

No, you know what? It's crazy. So it did say it did say hand finished. So the kind of gives the impression that something's being done by hand. Right. Sinching I guess. I don't know. I think you know you you trusted your wife,

man. You made you made a mistake that many, many, many have made. They trusted their wives. Yep. Now look, as the knife. She knows what to do. Now I got a question every single thing she does. Does Deb ever led you a stray wall like me? Um, well, there's no chance on a planet that she would ever, you know, go down, go down, go for a fucking oil painted portrait, you know, and then when she heard that price tag, she would even be less of a chance that she'd ever do it, but where was she when I needed her? I mean, there's something to be said for, you know, who should you trust me myself and I, you know, if you follow that, if you, if you, if I just follow that, I can't trust myself. No, that's a horrible decision.

I know that's why I don't know for that. And it, it, it hears to you. I really don't know if you should take that tacked of trusting you, you, you, yourself, who do I trust? I trust you a lot. Yeah. I think you a lot for a guy. Why don't you just text him every single

no matter how inane, no matter how harmless a decision you have to make. Be like, Cuey, I'm thinking about this. What do you think? What do you think? Yeah, I'd be like, well, don't swerve towards oncoming traffic. Like maybe we could just print that out

and put it on your steering wheel or something like that and just keep that one. It was just in the moment I was like, this will be kind of funny. People have done that to me. I remember I was on the C-Bride strip and a fucking rig did it to me, like a Mac truck and I could see the guys in the cab laughing

because at first I was like, what the fuck? Then they pull away. That's with a rig. I was in a fucking out Subaru Outback. Yeah, those guys are fucking assholes. They are idiots. Could have killed me. Yeah, but you see my point here.

I'm starting to see your point. I think though that maybe a little bit more, I don't know if investigation is even the proper word, it sounds way too laborious, but like just a little more information if you're willing to ask and pay attention to it, would have avoided that though. I feel like you just got a portrait. Yeah, I feel like you just went along with it. I did.

She wanted to do it. I didn't want to do it and I went along with it like a sap. Right. Like a sap sucker, like a sucker of sap. I mean, it's not really being a sap, it's just, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr All I could think it was like my god, I look so fat. Why do I need to get a picture taken of me now? She doesn't have enough fucking pictures from the engagement from the wedding from every fucking time she gets her phone out You don't have enough pictures. Well, dude. We need this one too. Dude in her defense. Yeah, she's got a lot of life left after you go and She's gonna when she married when she remarries. There's no fucking way that portrait's gonna be allowed to hang up No, probably gonna throw it in my fireplace.

Let's not defy it with this. There's an ant. This will make nice pinnig. This is my dick. There's an ant that's gonna pay her for that painting, you know, post, you know, post demise of Brian Johnson. Somebody, some aunt, some listener is gonna own that painting when she finally sells it. Should I sign it?

Yeah. Before I die. Yeah. Let me ask you something. If I offered you a thousand dollars for it right now, would you sell it and I'm like cut into those losses? Hmm. She would have to go 2000?

I think you got to go at least three. Now, if you're going to resell it, if you're going to resell it upon my death. I'm just saying, man. I'm just saying, you're in a situation. I'm willing to help out, but I can't. He's going to be rich guys operating. He wants to take advantage of me.

I'll give you three for it right now. Yeah, I'll give you three for it right now. Maybe um, I'll sell to the man on the shared universe hat. And I'm out of what I do with it. Once I come up a session with it, can't bitch about it. Oh, well, okay. I could think of how can I exploit this for Patreon? How could we get exploited for merchandise? I'm thinking of anything. Maybe you should reach out to Jimmy the portrait guy.

Jimmy the portrait guy. I like that wall. That's not the best way to do it. I'm not going'm thinking of anything. Maybe you should reach out to Jimmy the portrait guy. Jimmy the portrait guy. I like that Walt, like didn't even start it like 1500. He just jumped to 3,000. He wasn't like 2,000, 2,000. Also, you know, Brittany and Abbey, do you remember them, the two headed gal?

Yes, of course They got married. Oh, yeah, it's awesome You one man or two men to one man. Okay, all right that that would be that makes way more sense Did they both get married to one man or yes, they did oh? I'm so happy for the man like that's that I'm sure that like at times they thought that was unlikely that that would ever happen So that's impossible. Yeah, isn't that big of me? There's like the some of these laws that are on the books and never get never getting forced to imagine doing that. There they are with the guy. Now, okay. That looks like a nice dude. But don't you think like even more than the girls, I want to know his story.

I want to know a guy who like, I get it if you marry like your regular size person, you marry a little person. I get you if you fucking have two arms, you're marrying a girl with a world. You can't help who you love. Like marrying a girl with two heads, that takes a certain type of guy who can look past that. Well because it's not the oral and the other isn't. Yeah, that's what I mean. You're marrying two sides.

He just has to hang out there. It just went from it. Yeah, but like that's it. Like, okay, that one isn't, but that one is. So no problem. But if they both are, how fucking awesome is that? Right. If they're like, oh man.

He's got some fucking... We're cum sluts. King, some kink. He has to have some kink to go for that, right? It's just not. Or they're beautiful, they're beautiful people. King some king he has to have some king to go for that right it's just not or they're they're they're beautiful they're beautiful people and I like them yeah I like them I mean not enough to marry them well this hope for

better my maybe we'll see get him get married one day again I think I think the girls have a better chance but can you. I'm sorry. But can you imagine, though, Q, like we're just thinking of the upside, but can you imagine getting, you know, double-barreled shotgun of nagging, though? Oh god. I haven't even considered that. Teaming up. Teaming up on the poor guy. Oh.

They're both like, you had that joke in your pocket. Oh. It's two against one. I've got no chance. Oh, and like because they have like, I don't know what their exact physical situation is, but like I imagine one could talk while the other breathes in. So it's like, it'll never stop.

Like there's not even a break for breathing if they're pissed. Like it's just like, it's just screaming at you. Like, soft-haired Brebel, but people,'re pissed. Like it's just like screaming at you. Like, Zafoad Brebel, but people blocks it. It's like crazy, man. I saw them in their wedding dress and everything. Do you think that? Are you in Brittany? That, like, when they had to do tests,

do you think one of them, like a driving test, like they had studying wise? Do you think one just like, doesn't like real? It can be like well? You got this you're you're better at testing. I am right like I wonder how like you like the advantages Well, they only have two arms. I think yeah, they think they control the arm. I think they could I think they each control one arm Well, that's cool. So they both gotta be like one can't take a nap while the other one's driving I Think that they can do because they're separate brains,

separate heads. Right. Yeah. So how they do they have a show? They have to have a show. I think they did. But today, I thought they did. I thought they'd like with the like with. So one would control the feet to one, one side. I would guess so as well. Yeah. I had to be fascinating because like the teamwork That would need it to be in the in the the in synchronous that has to happen their teachers correct. I believe so yeah

So they would have had to pass all those tests all those tests to get to be a teacher Go to a go to a professor like Frank five if well go to a professor like Frank V. If, well, you're involved in some kind of auto accident, right, with a friend or somebody is in the car with you. You're doing a rosy-grier thing with two heads. Somebody has to get sewn on to your shoulder. Who do you choose? Yeah, who do you choose?

They can pick anybody, they can pick one of your kids, your wife, get them, anybody. I'll be in your clothes right now. I really, like, I can pick one of your kids, your wife, get them, anybody. I'll be in your post. I, you know what, I really, like, I've said it in the past, like, I don't know if there's anybody more solid with his wisdom and his, his zenness, it then cue.

Not even me. Oh, no. Not even close. No, that would be, I would just be like, you got him in the accident. I would apply for a gun license One of the heads is leaving me or you I have control of the arms You only have control of the toes I'm taking you you're taking you. Yeah, no cue

Yeah, you're okay with being a no remember Q. Is it the only you have a you have a life that weren't writing a book about Yeah, you're now on the shoulders of the world's most boring man be on a no remember kids is it the only you have a you have a life that weren't writing a book about yeah you're now on the shoulders of the world's most boring man. Well no he's on my shoulders he's on my shoulders like oh yeah if it's oh you're on huge shoulders. Oh yeah yeah if I'm on Q shoulders yeah then I still believe I've never come across a more solid like fucking rock solid dude. Oh thanks. That would be tough. Yeah, because you won't let the man need a sandwich, you won't let him eat any seafood. Yeah, maybe if I, I don't know I'd go any big love.

Yeah. Well, if I'm at his body, then it's, then it's fucking it. You know, you stay married because suddenly queues in on it. Yeah, I can't get to work. Look, I'm not going to change my lifestyle. Just go, I have queues to work. Look. I'm not gonna change my lifestyle. Just go I have cues head on my shoulder Right, like you know, I'm still gonna do the same things. I do I'm just gonna hang out in the office seven hours a day by my side I want a party. I want to get home Do your daughters

Do your daughter sleep and I know you and I'm drinking beers like while he's sleeping. He wakes up That's a good that's a good point. Yeah, with his daughters actually believe he's cute friend while he's sleeping. He wakes up. That's a good point. Yeah, his daughter is actually believe he's his friend if he's on his shoulder. I would just put him like a hawk. I'm for sleep, you. You don't need no more beer. We've had enough.

We've had enough beer. Everything he does is going to affect you. You would make him change his lifestyle. Like one hand is swatting the beer away constantly. No, you know. Hey man, you just let me look at the squirrels. You know, let me look at the squirrels. Yeah, I'll be alright.

Pat, we're going to have to throw that volcano out too. Well, maybe they could put my head, they could put my head, like think about this backwards instead of front facing. So I could always watch your back and we could both have some sort of privacy. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah, I would respectfully keep my backside covered up at all times. Thank you. Thank you. Now you're just pulling it out through the zipper to get your business done. No, no, on my backside. I'll keep cover with a towel.

If I happen to be in the shower, I'll just keep my backside covered with a towel. I can just put my hood on when you got a shower or go to the back. I've got a washroom shower cap over here. I got a shampoo, yeah. Yeah, QK didn't even shampoo his own hair, you're right. What's your look all greasy and everything?

Oh, man. Oh, boy. Yeah, so that's what's going on this week. I apologize in advance for my frenetic delivery. No. So I picked up his Waltz. I mean, you seem like you're in a good mood. I'll give you that.

I like seeing that. Yeah, pretty decent. That's all right. I just know you go to, you know, severe, dark places. And now I'm at a town the next 10 days, so I'm worried about you. 10 days? Yeah, I'm a god.

I'm a god. I might have to fly to meet you somewhere. Yeah, okay. I think that's a good idea. I do. I think that's a good idea. I do, I think that's a good idea. I think you should do that. Is it business or pleasure? He's on tour.

Yeah, so it's business, it's business, Walt, yeah. Anytime while you're out there to enjoy some of the sites where you're wherever town you're in. Yeah, you know, here in the air, sure. You know, I'll be seeing some people. It'll be all right. I'm not complaining. I'm worried about, I'm just worried about, you know here in the ass sure, you know, I'll be seeing some people it'll be all right I'm not complaining. I'm just I'm worried about I'm just worried about you know, Brian I'm gonna have to you know this FaceTime, bro. You can FaceTime me

That's true. Yeah, like any cue is very curious very generous. So was that the framers getting that portrait framed another $200 yeah, and And his daughter was there. She's super into the jokers,ers right so i faced time with q and he said hello to her and they're very very appreciative oh good and did very pretty bad uh... bring down the price of the frame he he gave me ten percent off anyway because you know i go there all the time and then he tried he was like oh you know what so nice you let me give you twenty

percent and i was i said don't don't worry about it because then you would have to back out the transaction and all this other shit don't worry about it, because then he would have to back out the transaction and all this other shit. I was like, don't worry about it. Oh wow, just a favor. Just a favor. He is a great guy. Although Q did demand that he give me 20%. I did, I was like, give me 20% off.

I'm like, this is worth money what he's doing right now. And also, like I said, tomorrow night, Tommy Lincoln's coming over for Cinco de Mayo. They're all gonna drink San Gry and shit. Nice. Who's that? Tommy Lincoln and his two for Cinco de Mayo. They're all gonna drink sangry and shit. Nice. Who's that? Tommy Lincoln and his two assistants and Mary Beth. What's he coming down for? I think he's I don't know why he's coming down. He's coming down for I think maybe something with Kevin I'm not positive, but he's gonna come over the house. He's gonna make some he makes great tacos nice and

Gonna make some tacos and we may live stream Sometime tomorrow evening. I don't know when is this episode going out This won't go out till month. Oh, yeah, why the fuck am I even talking about it? It doesn't come out till Monday All right, cuz I was about to plug my shows this weekend, but I guess if it comes out one day then you could do next week I forget just go to practical joker's live or practice Yeah, practice joker's live.com You I don't know if you heard gattle came out on stage. Did you hear about that? I saw him Boston. Yeah, there's fucking reception nuts, man.

He came to the show. We're hanging out backstage. It was fucking awesome. It was like old times and he came out at the end of the show for a bit. And like I had never fucking felt energy like that, man. It was like, the roof was like tearing off the place it was fucking cool man it was good to see so you never know who's if I meet you out there maybe bring me out on stage you'll be the same experience hell yeah fucking will be man he's always a lot of tomsy Dave shirts in the audience and and four colors I always see a lot of tomsy Dave shirts and now that I'm on the Bruce Campbell episode from Millie's second. Yeah.

Boom. Oh, man. Did you watch it? Did you get to watch it finally? I did. Yeah, I saw it. Great, right? Yeah, it's great.

It's really cool. How awesome was Bruce and did you see the new evil then? I did. Remember we talked about it. I was like, I didn't care for it. Reminded me of wreck. Oh, man. Then I told you I give it another chance.

I went to go see the second time and I fucking love that movie so much. Oh, yeah, all right. Oh, I have to watch it Yeah, I just lose my mind over it. It's so fucking good. I like the main lady. She's she's like amazing Unique looking. Yeah, and she's fucking great when she's the demon. She you're just like she's fucking unbeatable She's awesome. Yeah, and even the girl the lead girl the who you know the final girl like thought she just fucking killed him I don't know I I'm in love with that movie I think it's so good yeah yeah I'm gonna rewatch yeah all right Waltz anything else that it tell him Steve Dave all right all right Thank you.