Tell Em Steve-Dave - #568: Days of our Lives

Episode Date: September 9, 2023

Criminal skill sets, TESD plans to rock, Q experiences a tragedy, the guys Hitlearn something. ter.li/AmericanMusicalSupply-TESD

I like the Avengers everyone. Yeah, I'm sure that's how you know. I have not. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.

I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.

I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I'm fucking sea level reality show fucking piece of shit smile like you fucking mad it. Oh, it's not enough. Take off the fucking kermin socks, bro. Like I should be seeing your socks anyway. The fuck's up with that Tell them Steve Dave hello and welcome to this week's edition of tell them Steve Dave I most couldn't get that out. I'm so rusty. It's been some time now, apologies all around. Apologies for the last episode where I put out in a bridged

episode. I was going to take out a few key things that I said, but I went back and listened to it. It was ugly. People are like, is it going to be on Patreon? No, it is not. It is not. And it was mostly, it was, in fact, not mostly, it was all about the Johnson family. I was very upset about something that was going on within the Johnson family. So I said some unkind and unseemly things about some family members. But well deserved. I don't know. I thought so. I thought so too. But it's not the kind of thing that was I listen back. I I was like, am I why did they stop me? Because we can't get canceled. Oh, if you just bag on your family, we don't give a phone We'd rather have you bag on your family than anybody else

Any defensive qualifying statements in it at all. I was like, oh, he can see you off Let him loose, get him out the leash. I can't get it all out. I can subtly lace shit in there. I'm like, Edgar, such a shitty president. You can do it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is he saying? Yeah, so that's the reason.

And then these last couple of weeks have been something else for all three of us. It's been terrible. It has not been a fun time all around. We didn't get to do the Labor Day barbecue, which sucks. I was coming, I asked VP. Q, RSVP, Q was there.

At a certain point, I had to call it because Mary Beth was not getting better. She got COVID the day after. This is why I'm an asshole. And then I'll tell you why I'm not an asshole in a second. Because I heard somewhere I can't remember it was like, yeah, there's a late summer COVID wave coming. I'm like, these cock suckers are trying to fucking scare us again

with this shit. What the fuck? The next day, Mary Beth has it. Eric has it. Because Tommy has so many people. Everybody has it. Yeah. And then I got it very lightly, at least the test that I had it for like two days

just coughing and some sneeze and in shit. But like the after those two days, I was totally fine. But it was the getting the place ready. What like we were ready on Saturday. She was still tired and like I don't know if she should have been like she probably would have had to bail earlier than we normally do to go to bed and leave everybody there. But yeah, she wasn't doing well until like this past Monday or Tuesday. And one of the things I felt Walt would probably come, you know, he didn't confirm it or anything. But I'm like, you know, everybody's there. Walt's around. He'll probably come. So I went and I bought these corn or this cornhole set, $200 cornhole set because I'm like, I'm like, Walt likes kind

of stuff. I'm a son of a corollary. Why don't you just buy the cheapest cornhole set, $200 cornhole set, because I'm like, I'm like, what like, kind of stuff. I don't know why you just buy the cheapest cornhole set. It was one of the cheapest ones. But this is just, I was thinking to get them, it has LEDs on it and shit, like, you know, keep playing in the dust. You thought we were gonna be playing it until the wee hours of the night.

I thought it was gonna be like two in the morning and it was still gonna be going strong, but yeah, and then I tried to return it, and they're like, well, this is one of those Amazon things that isn't free to return. So it would be more expensive to fucking return it than to keep it. Mary Beth, like, just keep it.

We'll have it for the next time. She's not wrong. No, she's not wrong. You have a nice yard for Cornhole. There's some good Cornhole in spots, I feel, in that yard. And the reason I'm not an asshole is, because I rarely, rarely go on the internet anymore. I hardly

ever look at the news, but I did happen to glimpse something that said masks did nothing. It's now proven. So anybody who left Patreon found she took a lot of shit for this. Yeah, it was it was proven that the masks did absolutely nothing. Zero. Zero. It did zero. How could that be? I got to see this report. It makes some sense. And why do doctors wear masks then and nurses wear masks in the... I think because you're talking about a person with an open like you know like an open chest or something or like an operation where like you know germs can get into your chest cavity or whatever I don't know. But from what I've been from from what I read and the things that I saw, maybe those people who hated me and canceled Patreon because I said,

masks were dumb. You guys can come on back now. What if they just came back for this episode? I'm not even going on. I'm just saying. I told you I was an asshole about the late summer COVID wave. It still doesn't make sense though because wire, wire medical personnel wearing masks if it doesn't work then. Because if it could go through the mask, it could go into the open form, it could go into the open chest though. Yeah, but I don't understand. If you're talking and you, and a piece of liquid flies off your lip into my fucking mouth,

which happens all the time, and you have COVID, of liquid flies off your lip into my fucking mouth, which happens all the time And you have COVID can I get COVID that way? So then if the man stops that glob you'll hold from flying into my face No, because I think the germ is so small it goes through the fibers of the liquid that was shooting into my mouth as the carrier Who are you talking to so so closely? Oh, you can have the last shot of the cat Who are you talking to so closely? Oh, you can have so much to keep. Oh, I'm so happy for you guys that you don't have that experience of someone just blabbering

and shit-flying your face. I'm really very pleased that you guys, but I don't have that. You have the height of our popularity. I don't think I have that. Yeah, anyway. I don't know. I'll do the research on that one. We'll see. So then

So then even before the the COVID I'm my doctor I don't know. I think I need to find a new doctor. He dresses like a muppet Like he's got Kermit socks. He's got a cookie monster watch. He's got Grover fucking you going to any interest in stock? It's a family doctor. I walked stock to do. It's a family-talker. I walked in, that's what I thought. It's a family-packed, you were a lovely, a lovely, lovely boy. I feel like I deserve one. Yeah.

It says family practice. I'm like, all right, family, that's for everybody. And but then the doctor, he's like this little guy dressed up like patch atoms and shit. And but then the next time I went in, it's all old people, people even older and more to crepe in my mind. But he will see children, no?

He will see children. I'm a swine stress like that. Who do you want to get into his, you know, like his dockers and his- I don't know, throw a scrub on or something man. Like how am I supposed to take you seriously? I know you went to medical school. I know you did something I would never be able

to do in a hundred lifetimes. Is that enough to diploma? No, it's not enough. No, it's not enough. Take off the fucking Kermit socks, bro. Like I shouldn't be seeing your socks anyway. The fuck's up with that. All right.

But anyway, he did mean no. You've always had a problem with this because I remember working in the view skew office and you going on like a very similar, I don't want to say rant because it wasn't a rant but about grown adults who wear Disney clothes. Oh yeah. Oh man, like he was, We're going back 20 years and he'd be like, Why is that guy wearing a goofy shirt?

Well you get until you're 10 and then after you're 60. Because nobody gives a fuck about you at either age range, yeah. But once you hit 10 and then you're up and you're like, right now, you saw me wearing a fucking goofy shirt. 10's too old to wear. No, no, 10 is good. 10's the cut.

11's too old. 11's too old. Wow no no 10 is good 10s the cut 11s too old 11s too old Wow Let's 2020 Brian Johnson world and Johnson world you're an adult at 11 as far as Disney goes Yeah, yeah, if you're gonna pull my weeds and break my leaves and yeah, you're an adult Or wearing Disney shit those two those two why not comic book stuff those two those two but why not comic book stuff what do you feel the way about comic book stuff so anyway I go to the doctor right no wall test is fucking awesome comic book shirts that he that he custom makes himself so it's not the same

fucking bullshit that you see everywhere you know you may that you're never gonna see another devil dinosaur this is I didn't make this I mean I made the shirt but this is Jack Kirby artwork yeah but I mean they don't so yeah this is not a mass producer this is like a devil dinosaur is not something that they would I made the shirt, but this is Jack Kirby artwork. Yeah, man. Yeah, this is not a mass-produced shirt. This is like a devil dinosaur is not something that they would. I would like the Avengers, everyone. Yeah. Check out my shirt.

That's how you know. I'm not. I don't want to wear. I like Superman. I'm not man. I'm not that much of a jerk off, but I kind of agree with that. Like, it's like, I can walk into coals, get the Captain America, the Spider-Man shirt. But I want the devil dinosaur.

Cause I want to be like, I'm, I know more about comics than you. Fuck yeah, you're a, you're a poser. I'm not. Right. You know, devil dinosaur has a shacky later Disney plus. What?

Devil dinosaur has a show on Disney. Cartoon. Yeah. Yeah. I don't count. Don't count out. And it's moving. And it's not based on Disney cartoon. Yeah, I don't count. Don't count. And it's moon boy. Yeah, this is moon boy. Do you? Oh, G? Is that moon boy on its head? Yeah, so he's like a monkey. Yeah, it's like a cave boy. So they changed moon boy into moon girl for the updated cartoon.

Yeah, but she's like a great. She's like a girl. She's like a genius teenage girl. Aren't they all right? Everyone read Richards was the number one smartest guy. Now every single teenager is the number one smartest person in the Marvel. And they're all smarter than Richards, or the heck, and sassy. Should I mention sassy? Ooh, they got quips.

Why are comics dying? I don't know. Got me. I gotta say I watch this show, only murders in the building, which, I'm on season three, have you watched any of it? I watched first two seasons, yeah. Third season has Paul Rudd in it. He's a dickhead, right? Fucking good. I'm like, I'm in love with this guy.

He's so good in it. Is he like, he's like a dick in it? He's like, he's a real asshole. Yeah, a'm like I'm a love with this guy. Yeah, he's so good in it. Is he like he's like a dick in it? He's like a real asshole. Yeah, I told you that he wasn't Ben Lennarois is character There's a Selena Gomez who's the young girl and then you have Steve Martin and Martin short who are the old guys She's constantly out thinking them at every turn. Yeah, but it's great. It works. She makes them look like assholes constantly, and it's really fun. And fucking works. And she's a good actress too, man. I didn't know.

I thought she was just a singer. I didn't know she was. I know she was on some Disney show. No, she's fucking killer. She's really bad. She's swimming with the big, but the big fucking guns, and she's just pulling it off. She's in scenes with Merrill.

Streep and shit. Yeah. Like, she's really doing. There's a scene in, I think I showed you this. I think in, in, maybe season two, where Martin Short goes to throw something out in a garbage can and he walks from his car to the garbage can, I'm central park and then throws it out and walks back to his car. But it was like evidence or something like that or whatever.

So he was nervous and he did just walking, throwing something out and coming back. He did five separate things that were fucking in circle. They're like, they just don't make them like that anymore. They don't. Yeah, like we sit there and I constantly rewant Mary best, like, come on. I rewind. I'm like, look at his face here. Look at his eyes here. Like, like just the little tiny mannerisms, you're like, they're so fucking and they're, it's not like they're spring chicken. See, these are like 80-year-old guys. Yeah, I mean, they're in the late 70s. Yeah. Oh, they, they were awesome. They really is impressive that show. I enjoy it quite a bit. Yeah. So anyway,

my original point with the doctor was I went and he didn't really diagnose me with anything. So I went online like, get them does. I figured it out. I'm of like 99% sure I have sciatica, which is unfucking pleasant. And if you have any remedies aside from stretching and shit, especially do you have, can I use pot? I have been taking CBD though, not pop it. CBD because I'm so desperate to try to kill this pain at night. Like at night, it's the worst. Like when I get up from, we were going to sit here, you know, however long we sit here, when I get up, my knee will be all fucking stiff and shit. And I'll have to like loosen it up, but like

I'll be okay until I go to bed and then it's your fucked. It's tossing and turning all night, the pain is on. I'm gonna do the stretching, but like in addition to if there's any other thing. Like you're saying like don't don't suggest stretching and sound. No stretching actually works works quite well, but I'm thinking more nighttime. And where is it in your back and your five? It's like it starts like, right in my hip, the top of my ass cheek and runs down to my right knee.

It's all right in there, and I think it's some kind of pinch nervous. I think there's this copper leg band that I saw on TV. Oh yeah? It says it works if you wear the copper. It sounds like a podcast from a retirement community. Dude, you don't want to know. I ordered a cane. I got, we're going to see a Rob Zombie show in two days. I have hearing protection. I got my cane just in

creasing. I have a folding cane just in case. Like when I was at an awesome one, like a one of vampire would be walking to New Orleans. Have a wolf's head on it. Yeah. Like I swear to hit it. in for anything. No, nothing like that. It's from Amazon. It was $9.97. Oh, it's black. You're black. You're cutting tennis balls in a handful. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Mary Beth doesn't like the noise it makes on the floor. It's scuffs. Oh, man. It's a good throw away. Good night.

Yeah, it's too much. I'm not for one person. I was sick too. I'm still getting over it. I thought I had COVID, but I took test after a test to kept up coming up negative. But then Tom Millizowski. Millizowski? He always says I pronounce it wrong.

Sorry Tom, but he said that the tests are 40% accurate. Oh yeah. 40%. Yeah, so that means 4 out of 10 times. All right. So just guessing which is 50, 50 is actually more. Yeah. So I have like a mate. I had such such fucking major congestion in my chest. It's finally going away. but Jesus Christ, boys. I know. Gotta get you guys out in the sun. I've been out in the sun. You have been out in the sun, but it doesn't help with the chest congestion, apparently. We got to bring them to the mountains. You know, like how they used to have the son of the sanitary

agent, you know, we're sending out West like a dark holiday. So I'm not the two. No, no maladies. Yeah. Not going to worry. There's nothing. Nothing. I, I, I, I have nothing bad to report. I actually have no, that's not true. What do you mean? You know, I went to call you the only day, but your phone was in the middle of the road. Oh, that. Yeah. You're phone to the mill. Oh, fuck yeah. He had the best, I don't know if you'll say it again, but he had the best description of when he tried to pick it up Remember what I said was like trying to pick up liquid. Yeah, that's that's what I wasn't yeah

It was it was I was on my motorcycle again and yeah Like I do have an incident free ride But I'm an idiot. It's totally my fault like like forget why it happened to have my my phone fell off my motorcycle on the standoff expressway when I got home I realized I was home and So I looked for the location services and it's like mother fucker. It's the fucking exit of Bradley Avenue in Staten Island and I'm like mother fucker So I go back and I'm like maybe it's on the side of the road, maybe won't every car on stand-alone ran over this phone.

Destroyed's not even the word. Like, I picked it up, I'm not kidding, it was like picking up liquid, it just, it drooped, everything was destroyed. Every piece of it was shattered, like no hope of getting any information off it, that's just joke laughable. Like I'd spoken to you about it and I was looking at the comments on your Instagram. So many people like I can fix it for your bro. I can fix it for you. I'm like nah. No, it doesn't sound like it. It is nothing. No part of it was was saved and

they I didn't back up my phone for a fucking year. I lost every dude. I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking moron and I lost a year's worth of photos, Benjamin's last photos, the new cats first photos living in the yard. I mean, just a million of my vacations with my brothers. They didn't go into a cloud? I don't put anything in the cloud because I don't, because I get people trying to break in.

They're looking pictures of my cats. People are trying to break into your cloud. I've never heard that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know a lot. I'll get like warnings and is all my stuff backed up, can't I? I got to find out and my is all my stuff backed up, can't I? Okay, this happens to me. I'm good, though, right? Should be. Yeah, you should check those settings because it's really upsetting.

It was really upsetting because you can pick up. You take photos on your phone and they show up on your iPad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're a year of texts gone. So I was texting people like, what the fuck are you know? Sometimes I don't have a day to do the new phone who does. Well, luckily for some reason the contacts did update. I don't know what the fuck's going on. But I just, well, whatever. And, and just well whatever and and uh yeah so I lost so many pictures that were dear to me and and uh it was pretty upsetting that's that's that's the legit depressed like two days oh yeah i was finally i talked to you did not sound good i was a press as fuck and then i said i was like um

I said you know what i was like if i was six years old well eight years old and i was in bed dying and somebody said, you know what? I was like, if I was 60 years old, well, 80 years old, and I was in bed dying, and somebody said to you, we'll give you two days of life back. If you burn every photo you ever have, I'd be like, where's the fucking match, right? You would, because that's how important every day of your life is. And I was like, I've spent two days miserable

about these photos. I just got to pull my head on my ass, and then I went out, and I just got over it. But now that I'm talking about it, I'm getting pretty depressed again. Did you have Google photos and did you check to see it? No, I did not. Okay.

Don't worry about it again. I appreciate it, but there's no reason to... I went over everything. Yeah, it's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over.

It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. It's over. But the new cat... He's now found his name. It's Boris. Boris after Carl. Yeah. Sure.

That's Yeah. So we're ready. Come from well, he's the one that I found in my yard. Oh, yeah, his name. We were calling him. We meet his name like this big thing at the vet chips. And I had to call the vet and tell him that, no, I'm changing the name to Boris. So his name is Boris now. Boris the cat, becoming my best friend.

Yes, we're just, we're really bonded bud. We're sitting there all day. He's still got a chill out in his office. He's got to say in the office, he's still got the warm medication. So he, so I spend my day with him just so cuz he's three months old is a baby I don't want to get scared and do it just like my day is spent with a kid and it's pretty nice writing playing video games with this kid And it's like so aside from the phone thing I lost the fucking videos of Boris when he lived in the yard man

Where he was playing with a raccoon like he was playing with this baby raccoon one time and I courted on camera. Oh no really. Oh it's gone man. Oh my brave little guy. But whatever I have him. Why did you post it to Instagram man? That's cute as fuck. I should.

Fucking that's my problem. Everything that I posted to him Instagram for the last year I have. That's good. Yeah. I don't know. Some of them then. But for the most part I've been been okay You know missing you guys I Agree I

I was like when I was on my way here. I was like one of the last fucking time we did this It seems so long ago. Yeah, but now we're getting back into it now. It's the fall summers over We got a bunch of patreon stuff coming up this week. I'm looking forward to You're gonna be involved in something patreon related. That's to be really cool. Yeah, I can't wait, man. I'm pretty excited for it. I keep asking about it, which is unusual for me. Yo, did you answer the email about the cruise? They tried to reach out. I did. I did. I answered. Not only did I answer it, but I got another email saying you did an answer it. Yeah, I thought you'd tell me to answer. Okay, answer it again. All right. Yeah, that talk about exciting everybody to get ship feast.

Yeah, January 22nd, we're doing the impractical joke as Eric Andre ship faced cruise. Space monkeys is going to be on it. Space monkeys is going to be on it three times. First time ever, three shows. I was so excited when I saw that, but at the same time, I'm like, oh, shit, I gotta come up with another hour. Yeah, we'll have a lot of guests to Rose will be on the boat.

Oh, good. Yeah, like, would jig you'll be there. We'll have will have jig you'll be there I got some of this stuff for mr. Eric Andre. Oh, it's gonna be great We're gonna have a blast but yeah, it proves is Selling selling well. I mean it we know over half the boats all that on day one and it's it's getting there So it's been pretty fucking cool to see people get all excited about it. Yeah, I was I was very excited to see that come in It makes it more real, you know? Yeah, a lot of ants talking about going on it. That's good.

Yeah, that's Star Trek time. There's gonna be some, there's gonna be some, some four color, some, I think I believe Troy is going. I think Troy's going. Troy's going. I can't remember if Frank said he was going. Well, try and get Ming on. Trying to get Ming said he was definitely going.

Ming said he's definitely going on that and the view skew crews So don't they overlap? I Don't know. I think the view skew crews is a week later or something. Oh, he's taking her raft He's in a he's in a thing. Oh, it is because he's behind the boat because we're it's where you turn around and then yeah Like they're doing it on the Norwegian pearl. I think so they can't be the same time. Yeah One thing I know I'm gonna bring on that cruise is my Raycons. Oh I wouldn't I Cuz they're gonna work great out there at sea a

pop them in yeah Rock out You know yeah hang out in the sun And now it's false we're gonna make we're gonna make these Raycons part of our fall routine going out, watching people rake leaves, wearing your Raycons, watching people do other stuff wearing your Raycons. You're really gonna sit on my picture here.

I'm gonna sit on the porch with my cane and then point it at people on my way. Oh my God, just jab in the cane in a youth's direction. I'm totally using it like Larry David did in curbure enthusiasts and like he's knocking on the door. With attention, he's in the point of people. Raycons, everyday earbuds look feel and sound better than ever with optimized gel tips and a range of sizes for the perfect in-year fifth. These earbuds are so comfortable and they will not budge. That's true. I sleep

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So, with school back in session, it means Raycon is having their annual back to school sale. So for limited time only, go to buyraycon.com slash TESD, to day, to get 20% off sitewide plus free shipping. That's byraycon.com slash TESD to score 20% off byraycon.com slash TESD. Okay. Luis, you're gonna have to change your show cue. My show, Mr. Smashmouth. Oh yeah. Past away and I don't see that story, which is a fucking awesome story. While While you were six you didn't get to go to the Joker show. Yeah, we tell a story about Steve Harwell playing Murray's wedding.

That's pretty fucking great. It's it's an amazing story. It was literally my favorite part of the whole show and then the fucking guy goes and dies. He dies. That's about a gonna have to change the show. Yeah, because it goes in about his drinking. So it's kind of like seems like we might have to switch it up a little bit. I'm not following what happened.

So the lead singer of Smashmouth just died of alcoholism related. We had his, he played Murray's wedding and played the wedding and he drank a little bit too much and we tell the story. Where did you tell it? On a live show on a tour. Many many times. So you also, you have to admit that now from your... I think we got it. Yeah.

Yeah, I think we got it. Like if he died from something else, you can go like it. I think you could still win with it. Yeah, but like the thing he died from here is how he had to lick an asshole. Yeah, you got to kind of sense it. It's a little bit... That's like, is he a big fan of Smashmouth? Murr.

He claims he is. Well, he said his wife was like, yeah, we love him. And she was like, yeah, they're okay. Yeah, I don't know. I think there was some song in a Smashmouth that meant some duma, I don't know. That's got to be a lot of money, right? That's that, like that.

The feeling I got was that Mary was under the impression that his wife Melissa love smash mouth So he hired smash mouth for the wedding a considerable expense and then afterwards Melissa was after all the the debacle happened Melissa was like, yeah, smash mouth's okay. I guess Like was it like well he got drunk and caused Some issues Yeah, and we have all we we do we show photos like him yelling from stage a piece like we do is hold a and you know we never really too we don't really go hard on them. We don't really judge it for it but we kind

of tell the story is it's more like you're making lemonade at elements right and at the end of the day the guy was paid a lot of money to do a job and he kind of did this and this is this was kind of the way but now and we in light of how he went We're kind of like what's the big song all star or Believe her. Yeah, so yeah, we're gonna have to find some different Or some but like some big String quartet didn't do it for you. The fucking the agent, the agent DJs,

you know, who ignored my list. Yeah, but I mean someone to play, someone to play the, I get having you. I'm not big at all. I'm a smash mouth, but like someone to play the knee,

like you had wasp. I don't know. I think of like Mary Beth crew. We can get either wasp or who walked over crew. Yeah, trust me. Yes, these are bands I would love to have had. Could you imagine crew playing your, uh the the the yeah I'm all shit who

shut the fuck up who nobody knows who Motley crew is no I don't care if I could have got she would become a fan instantly. Oh, yeah, if right my crew is there especially she met Tommy Lee Where do Mary Beth go anyway I've heard stories like this That's a great that's a You to get that joke you need to have seen that Payne Anderson video. That's a good joke.

It's a pull, like you need to know a little bit. You're gonna know your big dick. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of your big dick. Yeah, like it's, now I know it, like, isn't it unfair to become a rock god and to have a big dictate? I thought the same exact thing. I'm like, it is to like, it's not fair.

These high school dropouts who became over famous and now I'll have big cocks like that. And fucking the hottest, they could creatures on the planet with this. Yes, with this. Well, you don't think that's a part of it. I see pictures of their wives, John Fie, post them like, they're all hot.

Oh, they all got hot wives. Yep. You don't think that big cock is what made them into rock stars to begin with, like that confidence that like, that big dick in like. No, because you can't, I don't care how big your dick is if you can't fucking keep

rhythm on the fucking drums. No, you ain't playing. But you have that, John Holmuth would have been playing a guitar. That a fucking doing coke and heroin. You gotta have this event diagram of people with big dicks and people with big dicks and talent that become rock stars. So like, but that that light going through life with that fucking 10 inch or being like, look at this fucking thing. Of course I could do anything I want. Yeah, it definitely would give you a level of confidence that you don't maybe even

deserve. Yeah, because it's like you deserve. It's like it's got a big dick. But it was just a lottery. It was a fucking, it was a poll, right? Like, like some guys won the microfallus. I mean, lost the lottery and they got microfallus. And then you got guys like Tommy Lee, who's like they won every lottery there is. Yeah, the Hepp C. You won the cock equity. Yeah. Don't work like that. And then he gets your Ron Jeremy's who have the big cock and you know how much else.

Yeah, I said that to Mary Beth the other day because I have a picture. We were in Key West and like it goes back to like Rob Bruce. God rest his soul. He threw a con, a horror con down in in in a, in a Lennox city. Yeah. Ron Jeremy was there. I had Ron up on stage and shit, you know, we talked and then when we were leaving, he gave Mary Bethekiss on the cheek. And like an asshole, I didn't take a picture. And I was like, God damn it. Like, why would I, like, I'm just too old. I don't think of these moments, you know, like I should. So I'm like, we're never gonna see Ron Jeremy again.

We're in Key West, we're walking on the street and there's that like Adam in the youth store. I'm like, let's fucking Ron Jeremy. He's sitting out front totally stoned out of his mind on something totally whacked out. I'm like, let's go recreate that. And so there's a picture of Mary Beth looking none too happy. Like she's smiling, but her body language is like

the side convicted rapist. She wasn't at the time though, that's a thing. And now I she smiling, but her body language is like this high convicted rapist. He wasn't at the time though. That's a thing. And now I told her the other day. I was like, holy shit, I just thought of this. You have a picture with a convicted rapist kissing you on the cheek. He look, he does not look good. No, it's not even Bill Cosby. Oh, yeah. Nasty Ron Jeremy who's like now in a wheelchair. I hear his old man. Yeah's that got the men's shoes off. Fucked up. Yeah. Okay, I can't remember what brought us there. Tommy Lee.

Tommy Lee Lee. And the Smash Mouth guy. And the Smash Mouth guy. Yeah. And everybody with big dicks except for us, fucking jerks. Yeah, I don't want to switch it up the show though. Like I think, you know, the live tour show. Oh yeah, yeah, it'll be totally fine.

It's fun. It's just such a fascinating story that you're like, like I wish I was there to watch it. You were sick, right? I was, I'd COVID, I was like, remember you were sick so you didn't go. Yeah, I was like, I wish I was there just to witness that part, but like Murray,

did touch an awesome job of painting the picture that you felt like you were there. Yeah, yeah, and he's got the videos and then the pictures will match it up. It's so funny. Are you at Liberty to say what it cost to get him to play at a wedding? I actually don't know. Okay. Yeah. It's gonna be a lot. I have to think right. My guests would be somewhere around 50. That's my guess.

Oh, I would think less. It'll be even less than that. Yeah. I don't know. My guest was 25. 25. Oh, it's like just. Oh, no. no, yeah, this was like two two three years ago Like once at last time that it was literally three years ago Like you were a teenager probably song is always popular. Oh, they had a truck song. You know how old you are right Yeah, that's one of those bands like so they had what they were they walking no What was what was your other son walking on the sun? Yeah, so they so they did they weren't a one hit wonder They did have a couple songs. Yeah, they toured regularly into his life kind of fell apart. Oh my god. I had Well two things that I wanted to talk about one that idea I told you about for the patreon commercials

Yeah, that's a good one. I because I was thinking about Do you know we don't really promote the patreon nearly as much as we should I guess and I was like remember back in the day like the time phone commercial or like Jim Jones commercial Jim Jones commercial meundies with the Young these yeah, oh these highly produced ads even even when we would first started telling Steve Dave when I was dating Melanie Like I had hard to do those real sexy like voiceovers and stuff like that. I'm like what if we each Came up with our in in secret came up with our own Patreon commercials and like try and try and really come up with like out-do each other. What do you? Yeah?

Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah Sorry, though, it might be fun. All right. Yeah. Because I think that'll be fun too. Yeah, because like the three or even get them, you want to come up one, too. Like, I don't know, just be funny to like see what we come up with.

Yeah. Try and get that old like shit that we used to do with that man. Is there anything on the line? No. Okay. You're ass. You're ass is always on the line. You should always be in that mindset that you're one step

being removed. That's how you're life. That's the guy that you're in the big CEOs. That's how they operate though. They never get comfortable. Yeah, I mean, look at even our 10 year at AMC. It's like the CEO's change hands, the, you know, like you've seen a cue yourself,

like, you know, there's constantly new people coming in. And what do new people love to do? They love to erase all the shit the old people do. And be done with it. So like, there will be somebody new comes in, there's gonna be no sign that Giddon was ever here, was ever alive. Oh, right.

Yeah. Yeah. I was beautifully hung up. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was beautifully hung up. Yeah, people like who did that? I don't know. The guy who was here before you. I just met him like it's a vote on the commercials

to see which one was the best. Oh, I think you need a vote. Yeah, you want to do a vote? OK. All right. All right. Let's tweak the idea. So it's a vote.

So you can do the Twitter poll. Yeah. OK. Great. All right. I like it. Yeah. I like it's a vote. You can do the Twitter poll. All right. Okay. Great Hey, I like it. Yeah, I like that idea a lot. That's fun I'm sorry. Oh, you had a second thing. Oh, I went to I went to I had a hell of an wonderful experience in Disney Went to Denge fatone was playing the beer the wine and you were at that I went on the Monday's last night. Okay. I was gonna say I saw that he was doing that. I was like that would be a fun thing to go to. Well, I was in QS when my brothers right. I was flying home Monday. And I was flying from

QS to Newark and then his last night was Monday and he's like, why don't you just come. We have like a big party afterwards. So I flew to Orlando, went to the thing, so I've fatone. He was great, great fucking show man. And then we went to the thing, saw a photon, he was great, great fucking chill man, and then we went to the after party, hanging out and stuff like that, and then I met a Disney executive who gave me access, well only one day, I don't have this for life. Club 33? Yeah, I went to Club 33, I had lunch in Club 33 and I pass like a golden ticket that just got you to the front of a ride unlimited in that day during that only that one day as much as

I want that I can only ride to the front of the one. It's a fucking cart man. Dude, it was fucking awesome. It was like a life-changing. Were you seeing people give you looks or annoyance of it? I never look back to seeing Brian. Oh, no, no. I mean, that gold ticket glinting in the rise. Never look back to see. I probably passed the same person.

I want to imagine three times while I wait on the line. I just kept going around. You're going to love it. Oh, wait. You get in there, man. The fuck. From Rattlesquadjogges cut off my five year old. Don't give a fuck. Pretty put it out there. I don't think I could ever go back to Disney again, man. It was well done.

That Star Wars ride, it's the most incredible fucking thing I've ever seen. And like the line, the fast-pass line was an hour and a half. It was like, oh my god. Did you ask why it only was eligible for one day? Yeah, the guy who gave it to me is an Imagineer. And apparently, you know, he's learned in the past, you can't just give these things out. The late-mailing, the special tone of Photone's buddies.

Well, we see Joe Photone on the cruise. Oh, fuck yeah, I'm not getting on the boneless Photone's on the boat. Awesome, yeah, I was, Mary Bethel, because he comment, he's like, I don't know how to text him, and then I've totally forgot, but. Yeah, oh yeah, and then if he's not, I don't want to be like, hey, you going on the cruise, he's like, I don't want to do it without Photone's coming, he's coming. I was like, I don't know what text I mean, that I've totally forgot, but. Yeah, oh yeah. And then if he's not, I don't want to be like,

hey, you going on the cruise, he's like, no, I don't want to do it out for to him. Yeah, he's awesome. The top 33. Well, where and it was the secret entrance? It was, apparently, well, here's the thing now. Every park has a club 33. So yeah, there's a park.

Yeah, there's an unmarked entrance and elevated with a guy, security guy, but like not dressed like security. So if you approach the elevator, he's like What's going on? And then you got to show them like the golden ticket and then he lets you out No, he was dressed like he was dressed like a real low-key Security like you wouldn't notice he's an authority until you take a second to look at him. You know what I mean? And then food was great the lottery Security like you wouldn't notice season authority until you take a second to look at him, you know what I mean? Um, and then uh, food was great the lottery

Oh, no, do it props like well Disney from like Mary pop and like old school props and costumes all over the place What's that? Is it anything like from the rides? They don't have out any props from rides and stuff like that But I don't think anything like controversial though. Yeah, no, it was all, and just like, they have this museum in there of photos that they never print anywhere else. They went into the archives and got them just for club 33 of Walt at like designing stuff and shit like that. It's so impressive, man. It really is something.

And not as expensive as I thought it was gonna be. That was the other thing. Wait a minute, you had to pay. Yeah, yeah, you got to pay. Even with the pants? Yeah, you got to pay, just catch in, pal. The club 33 members have to pay. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I thought this was like... But the food and drink was about what it cost in the park, which is elevated, but not, they're not like banging it over the head even more. But never did I think. I have to see, I heard like massages given by people in like sexy Disney costumes.

I mean, not like, and I- Not illegal. Yeah. Nothing illegal. Princess Jasmine comes by and gives you a little back rub. Yeah, or many, many a girl in a mini outfit comes over and just gives you a back massage, oils and everything. But it's all, you know, nothing never get them shut down, no?

There was absolute zero controversial in the family, but that would be controversial. What? That would be controversial. Unfortunately, yeah, that was getting a shoulder up. No, getting, making mini-mouse strippers and cluppers. No, I know, I know, you're such strippers. Like, if clover you think was essentially, what's the fuck fantasy?

Except for the whole mini-mouse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that would have been cool, man. But they're not doing anything like that. But do that pass. I don't think I can ever go back again. Yeah, once you've tasted that aspect of the park, it's hard to go back and be.

It was high as I can go. Yeah. I thought when Sage got her fast pass, that was living. I didn't know there was a golden ticket, man. Well, the fast pass, you can only use two rides. Now they've changed it. Oh, they've changed it. You can only schedule for two rides at a certain time through that.

Oh, gotcha. Okay. This is just like, boop, just going to what everyone went. Yeah. We kind of found a hack when we went to a universal. Well, we chose. Whenever we went to the ship.. We climbed over the back fence. No, we looked at fast passes and it was just it was a crazy price, but we didn't get them pretended to be retarded. No, we went to the singles. More drool.

I think you just showed off your gout. Spittling his mouth. No, it wasn't the single rider line. That's a pretty quick. You're talking about your riding next to each other? Right. Yeah. I don't think there's no part of me that needs to go back to these parks. No. I would only consider it if Sage were into it.

She's into it for 45 minutes Yeah, and then she's like I don't feel like walking around it's fucking a hundred degrees outside this sucks unless I did get the The golden taking there's nothing like it. I thought that I got special treatment in the past It was all an illusion. They made me look like a fucking asshole Look at a smile and he's so happy. happy yeah look at this fucking fucking sea level reality show fucking piece of shit smile like he fucking mad oh yeah go enjoy me yeah fuck is we're laughing at me the entire time I went down Main Street there's a fucking I mean I'm looking your heels oh man it's like the illuminati fucking is really out there running the world and I got quite a glimpse of a glimpse of what it's like

Pirates to no problem right on it. Oh Fucking jungle crews went on twice just for the hell of it if you had a golden ticket would you consider going back then? Yeah? Yeah, that's really probably I mean, I mean it's it's awesome I mean, I think it's a great park and everything, but I've done it so many times. There's really not much that could get me back there at this point. Yeah. Well, the heat is oppressive. The lines are ridiculous. Yeah. What is it like $15 for a soda? Yeah. But there is nothing like it. Like what they pulled off is, is the craftmanship into every single detail is like. Oh, yeah, no argument. Adam. Yeah, it's pretty great Especially the engineers what they do with the technologies. Yeah, I've always like back in the day

You would see those shows like kind of discovery Learning channel of like what they would do how smart they are now I mean, yeah, yeah, it was it was impressive. Everything was impressive man everything like what we used to be just all air control And how smooth that looked and everything else like that and now is Robotics and shit. Yeah. Yeah But I have to quickly read this before my phone does all right my iPad is not getting email for some reason People had enough of my vacation anyway. I fucking iPad and laptop both died within two days of each other permanently died permanently what happened brought them over they're just oh thank you get them

the The both of them just they just were going so slowly and they're like well they're old You know they're like the Zolt 2016 so it's kind old It's kind of old. It's kind of old, but it still should run. That's what I thought. I mean, it was running,

but it was just like going so slowly, and it's like, you know, I cut the show on it and stuff. So, I'll put that. Yeah, I needed, and I've been working on video lately, so it's like, I needed bigger and better anyway.

It's just, I got to feel like buying it all at the same time, and it's like, just crazy. Now, I'm using my iPhone 11 right now. Yeah, that's what I got going on. So I get to the fucking, because I know like three weeks they're releasing that new one. I'm like, get it to me.

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Visit AmericanMusical.com today. Apply promo code TESD to check out for $20 off a purchase of $100 or more. That's $20 using the promo code TESD at AmericanMusical.com. And you know, they're still making that guitar for us. It's in the works. Oh, wow. And I had, you know, it's a giveaway for a, I know you have dreams

of taking it home and playing with it, but it's actually for a listener. So I had an idea. Yeah. All right. They make two. They make two. Okay. Actually, it wasn't an idea. They make two. They make two. Okay, actually, it wasn't ideal. So you could have one. And the other idea is for the giveaway, maybe we do a song parody contest. Anybody can join,

anybody you know, if you want. Okay. But it has to be about members of the Tellum Steve Dave. What do you think? They're essentially roasting us. They're going to be roasting us. Could be brutal. What do you think they're essentially roasting us? They're gonna be roasting us could be brutal Yeah, the complimentary I mean I'm telling parody songs are not My buddy E rock they made some parody songs about him that I don't remember one being even remotely complimentary Fuck man. I'd love to see what people come up with that. I think I'd be funny Yeah, I'd like to see what kind of fucking poke at us. I like what you think yeah, sounds good All right, and now we're kind of a musician gets it to Yeah, yeah, it's pretty cool. And the other thing is I want to spearhead

personally Take it take it and run with it is vinyl cast three. Oh, okay We've been talking about it and talking about it, but I think I'm gonna organize. I don't think the last idea was funerals Right. Yep. All right. We eulogies. Eulogies. Yeah. So it's gonna I'll give it a little time. It won't come together fast. Well, don't worry. It's me. Don't I haven't think yeah, that's just I was thinking about it lately. I don't know. I want to stop thinking about it. Yeah, okay. Well It'll be a while. You know, it'll it'll it stop thinking about it. Yeah, okay. Well, it'll be a while. It'll take some time to match everybody up.

It's just a world of trust. It's a world of trust. It's a eulogy bud. It really is just a reason you should like each other. What are the guys of something? Yeah, yeah, love it. I love it. Three out, right?

We're going to do like a three disc. I think so. Well, we're looking to the costs of it, because we don't want to out price everybody. everybody. You know, the second disc was more. But I mean, three discs make sense. Final cast three. Yeah. We'll see how affordable it is for everybody. And we'll go from there. Nice. What else do we got here? Let me see. Oh, get ready to hit learn something. Oh, it's been a while since I hit something. Miss Hitler beauty pageant contestant,

who called herself an Aryan angel and boasted she was a white pure blooded female as exposed by Nazi hunters as a 42 year old mother from Oxford. Now, this is an Aryan angel right here. I'm sorry you can't see it, but if you wanted to Google it, you know, Miss Aryan angel. I don't know

I mean, I don't know. I feel like a middle-aged mom Is the is the winner of a Miss Hitler beauty pageant? Is it because there aren't that many entrance? I don't know man It's got a small pool. Yeah Participants in the online contest which aims to promote healthy Yeah, participants in the online contest, which aims to promote healthy, Hitlerian competition. They all use pseudonyms to disguise their identities. Now, come on.

What? Like, I mean, if you join Mr. Hitler, right? And you're like, my name is Brian Queen. It's like, everybody still knows it, you know? Anybody who sees these people. Yes, so what would she... Prize. I don't know what we're about to find, you know, anybody who sees these people. Yeah, so what would it be? Surprise. I don't know what we're about to find out.

Like it's a surprise word. Cause my thing is like it's not even funny. So why are you doing it? Like it's not funny. And if it's not funny, then what, what, then you're, so you're, you mean to tell me that you're seriously doing a fucking Miss Hitler 2023 contest?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are. It's just in America. That was my first idea to give away that four-color demons guitar. So that was like, wait, the second to song parody might be better. Is it, was it held in America? No, it's hosted by Russia's popular VKontaki social website known as VK. It allows users to vote for their favorite female adwires of the Nazi leader. Russia is a mating Ukraine, supposedly because it's full of Nazis. And yet they're also sponsoring a Miss Hitler. Well, somebody from

there. It's almost like nothing makes sense anymore. Right. Can you imagine? Her personal statement said that she's a straight white pure blooded female with a longing to return to the traditional ways. Whatever they are. Yeah, the court, the court, the court, the court, the traditional ways. In accordance with the state's blood and soil and sisters and honor, our people matter says, uh, miss, are you an angel? Technology and like start plowing fields. Who do you think she's telling that too

who who is she getting that mess who needs to know that her people matters i don't know but this is what she says it's like you know how like uh... like when the interview like miss miss t us a like you know they have to get like a little statement no i know that but i'm that's not saying about maps i just wonder who she's who's her

intended target of that comment. Well this is what she says. This is what she told the Daily Mail I guess. It was just a bit of fun really a spur of the moment thing. I didn't set out to upset anyone. It's not like I'll get a crown. It's more of a pull. I'll try to get it taken down. My views aren't extreme. You hear the same at every bus stop. Hitler has been dead a long time. I don't think the impact. I don't think of the impact his name still has. Yes, you fucking do. You lying bitch. Yes, you do. There's nobody on earth except for like, South Eastern Asians or Southern Asians that like, they don't seem to understand

that like, you can't put swastikers all over everything. Every two seconds you turn around and somebody from like Vietnam has like a beauty parlor with like swastikers all over everything. Every two seconds you turn around, if somebody from Vietnam has a beauty parlor with swastikers outside, it's so weird. Because the Hindi religions here there, and it's in there. Oh yeah, they're like, originally, it was this. It's like, yeah, well, nobody knows that anymore. Nobody cares about that anymore.

That's where you get the real know-it-all. So actually, it's a fucking drama. Yeah, really, I don't care. Who's probably in the crowd? Looks like, it's a fucking trouble. Yeah, like I don't care. Like, we're turning, you know, appropriate in the crowd. Looks like a swastika to make. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know.

The crust is a little too big. Let's say burn it. Well, turn it upside down. Then they're, yeah, really. Speaking of turning it upside down, aren't we going to a devil show this weekend? Oh, yeah, we got a quite a tell-em-steve Dave outing this weekend. This is extremely rare

Yeah, that all three of us go. I think the last time was when we went to see Monster Magnet It's quite a while ago. Yeah over at the birch hill or whatever Wherever it was. Yeah, was it the virtual country? No, I don't think it was the birch hill, but yeah, it was in cerebral Yeah, but it's us. It's it's the Frank's it's Troy. Troy. Get him in get him's coming. Get him was invited. He says no no I told you it doesn't matter what you're hanging out with your friends. Yeah, it is. I need to Otherwise, it's like I'm just listening to the radio and wanting to change the channel But you're just talking to your friends. Yeah, you're hanging out with friends. But you hear the music while he here all day though And I feel like it's not your playlist.

Right. So yeah, it doesn't, you know, I don't, you know, I can't argue. I like you, I asked them to go. You said, no, yeah, I'm not going to. Are we going to? Yeah, we'll be rocking to the, the sounds of Alice Cooper ministry filter. And of course, Rob Zombie, who got damage on five quits to join. I like Motley crew, but I think Motley crew has been teeth John Fives talents. Oh, he's not in anymore. No, he left Zombie to join. Oh, what? Now it's about the bigger payday, right? It's gotta be.

And more exposure. I mean, like Zombie tours every couple of years. crew is like, like that's a massive tour for them, right? Like, yeah. Who do you think opens? I mean, Cooper or zombie, like Cooper opens? Yeah, I think so. I would be very surprised if there were more Cooper fans out there than zombie at this point. I don't know.

How old is that? It's Cooper now. 70. I'm just gonna do a feed my Frankenstein. I Could almost guarantee it. I hate that song I think he does come out with a cane, but he does it as a as a farce because then he he walks across the stage like his No man and then in the middle of song he doesn't need the cane. Oh, it's like Willy Wonka man and then in the middle of the song he doesn't need the cane. Oh, it's like Willy Wonka.

Yeah. So I'm a living breathing farce tell us. He's making fun of you. Yeah. Guys like me who's like, I can still rock. How? How? This is the fun setting my, my hip hurts.

This would be my fourth time seeing Cooper. Wow. Yeah. What song do you want to hear? My stars. That's my favorite Cooper. I don't know if I'll play that. I hope he doesn't play schools

I know he's going to and I like a legged and I think he'll play elected like you're in the front row He's like who wants to hear a song you got to scream one song my stars. Yeah great song I can't I got a frog in my my throat I'm a hope that's why I was asking you to come, maybe, because you could scream it for me. Yeah, you do. You do project well, get him. And you can't. Now, what the thing when you pre-stick your fingers in your lips and whistle. We're also in a suite across from the stage. My grandfather could do that.

You just got spititting his mouth. You're talking about it. You tell me, man, I should stop that. Good, you guys. Yeah, so I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, me too, man. I'm looking forward to it. I think it'll be pretty fun.

Haven't been to a show in some time. Probably trying to think of the last one. Blue locked home. Blue locked home. And I got Waspwood in the last one. I was a good one too. And you guys are doing a baller style too. You guys got a sweet.

You got the sweet. Well, it was started out as like, hey, you guys want to go to a concert, you queue and wall. And we were like, yeah, sure. And it's 160 bucks a man. And then he was like, wait, we could get a suite. And I think he was probably thinking of you. So you don't get harassed, you can enjoy the- Well, I'll put this in show, man.

I'm just saying you should probably pay for most of it. But before the idea even got to me, it was a suite. Yeah. Because you just get the sweet and then you could just fit up to like 17 people or something like. Oh great great. So we should try to scoop in some randos to defray the cost. Yeah we got to do that man you guys are fucking hit. I mean I probably he's right I probably wouldn't have gone if you guys didn't hit me with a sweet I would have probably I might have done dinner but I'm not I'm also not I listen

I don't listen to that any of those bands with any regular Arons yet. He's still going to oh you're gonna love it. Yeah. Oh, you're gonna become a major new fan You're gonna be rocking the eye makeup the mascara. Oh cool. Oh, man. It's going to like you're gonna be like what what how did I never He listened to this before? So it's got a lot of groove to it. It's not just like noise Well, I've listened to them. I know I'm familiar with some of it. I just did not like go to. Right. But you guys go change and the private sweet. I was like, yeah, I'm in on. Yeah. That should be good. Yeah. And it's a new guitar. But it's an old guitarist. It's a guy who played on Hellbilly Deluxe and

super sexy swinging sounds I think. Which are a lot of remixes that kind of stuff. But he must be good. He must be good. He ain't no John Fie. I know that, but he must be pretty good. Fuck, dude. What's the like to get?

Was he in retirement? Was he out? Was he like what they did with the time? I don't think so. I think he was just playing with a different band. Yeah. And then they pulled him back. Yeah. Speaking of John Fie, I, you know, in an

effort to sort of stem the accusations of being a homosexual for playing classical guitar, I picked up the electric guitar as well. And I've been playing recently. And so I was like, all right, let me dig out some of my electric guitar stuff. And I came across a book that it's like the book of John, but John five. And it's all John five exercises and how to play like John five and all this shit. And I bought it many years ago. It was still. Because I have to do though, it was planning guitar. No. Well, it would be like, what's that? Exercising. No, no, guitar exercise for like your family. It was really an exercise

book that Mary Beth put a John five cover on. Like squatting. Fuck, and sit up. You want to play like John five? You better do some sit ups, fat boy. But I'm looking to pride zero. And I'm like, you're familiar with John five's playing. Like, you know how he plays.

And, but I also don't consider like zombies music that complicated of like where you need, like you have that Inve sound or like that. Right, no, no, that guy plays like a million miles a minute. When John Fives playing solo, that's when, that's when I really enjoy him as a guitarist. Like I've gone to some of his solo shows and he's really great.

But I get this book out and I'm like looking through it and I'm like, it's a testament to how fucking drugged out I must have been at the time to even buy this book thinking that there was a chance in hell in 10 lifetimes. I'm ever going to play like John Feef. Okay. I'm like, I might as well picked up a book on quantum mechanics. I've been like, well, I took basic science in eighth grade. I surely I can fucking understand this. I'm like, how fucking stupid was I?

I even bought a guitar that John, the John V signature guitar I bought even. I'm a Zagovor. It wasn't that much. It was probably like 600 bucks at the time. So it wasn't too bad. But that's, that's your mental condition, though. What's that?

And a lot of people have it. I have it too, but like, I'll never be, like, that's like saying I should stop drawing them because I'll never be as good as the guys that I love. That's your, that's just like your brain saying like it's, it's a neck, that negative feeling you shouldn't, you shouldn't allow that to that to like poison the well Because and then you'll do nothing then well, I still don't think if you're if you're constantly being like well And there be good as this person or on there be as good as this Well, I'm not saying I'm not gonna do it. I'm still playing and stuff because you know don't be gay But

What but I said I want to be gay but But to be able to play like John Feeve, I think takes decades and decades, it takes a natural, you're a natural artist. So I gotta tell you, I don't have an eye for art like you do. So I look at the shit you draw, and I'm like, fuck this, this is good as anything I've ever seen comic-wise.

Why did he put the book out if he didn't think he could teach people to become like him? To make money, and there are people who can be could play like him I see him all the time on YouTube and I'm like I get through halfway through the thing I'm like fuck you and I turn it off and let I go on to the next guy right now all I'm focusing on is Is for a guy huh for yeah jumping from guy to guy. This is what happens when you get into the classical guitar I just like I'm practicing total like form. I'm going really slowly.

I'm not even thinking about playing a John V lick. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just like, Just keep it at it, man. You build it up. I'm keeping at it a little bit every day. I'm not going to get good in at once. I'm not going to get good in six months.

I'm not going to get good in a year, but I might get good in five years, you know? Yeah, there you go. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I'm really trying to hold. I understand the mindset of like, well, I'll never be as good as this person, so fuck it. Right, yes, exactly. I understand that point of view. I've battled it for my entire life.

Yeah, that's a lot of people I'm sure are listening, have that same mindset, well, I'll never be that good so why even bother but if you can Attempt to squash that those those negative voices in your head down, you know you still can achieve something and and be and have fun at it though That's that's all I want to do is just like have fun playing in play shit that I'm like, oh I didn't think I'd be able to play this. Like working to the point where you're like, like, of course, I think every guitarist is like, this is what I want to do. I want to fucking rip up this fretboard. I want to play like envy. I want to play like John five. I just want to fucking go. It's unrealistic. It's even like, unless you're a bored natural, like, you know, the people, everybody, like guys like Paul Gilbert and John Fiber

and they it's people like their freaks of nature. They are people who are so rare in this world that can play like this. But then I don't know, I go on YouTube, but even if I see a thousand people on YouTube in terms of how many people play guitar, that's still a drop in the bucket. Sure.

Even if you see a thousand people who play exactly like John Fiber, Jerry C. or any of these other mother. Well that's Jerry C or any of these other mother posts and videos of themselves because they're awesome. Yeah. That's why you won't find any videos in me up there. They're plinking along. Yeah, but I'm proud of you for keeping with him. Yeah. It's pretty good. Nobody says you have to play like him. You can just play your own style. Playing Brian Johnson. Oh, Brian Johnson sucks on all you guys in five years he doesn't yeah Five years John's reach down deep tap into the whole Johnson energy yeah, yeah, it doesn't have to be a million miles an hour. No, that'll be total emotion

The sound of families arguing on vacation Now I'm pissed. Everybody's a fucking bitch except for me. Holy shit, man. Yes. Yes. He's not bad. It doesn't place.

It does. Like on the speakers of a 16 year old who's feeling down. Not on the other day a 16 year old who's feeling down. Not on. I was fine with the other day. Walt's repeating all schools. But I was in an emo mood. Yeah. That's totally understandable.

I was like, put some emo on. Get him. I'm ready to bomb. I want, I don't want to run your voice into the ground. Walt. My voice? Yeah. Because this next thing, maybe we can think about it for next time.

What skill set would you bring to a criminal bank robbing gang? Oh, um, planning. That's what I would have nailed you as. Yep, you would be a great planning guy. I think like if, if Walt was like, hey, I planned a bank robbery. If I was a bank robber, I would trust him. Oh, yeah. I planned a bank robbery. If I was a bank robber, I would trust him. Oh yeah. I would totally trust him.

Yeah, I think you would, you would, all the little niggling details, all the little tiny things that like, I wouldn't pay attention to, or I'd be like, oh shit, now I'm busted. I feel like you would see them. And then you would have, get them as you're right hand man planning it. Well, that's where things go, right?

That's where I'm like, you, I need you to bake a cake with a file in it. Well, as a young, as in my 20s, I used to fantasize about Robin, Robin Banks, but in my, when I was in my 70s, because you thought nobody would, because I thought I would be sympathetic and people wouldn't press charges against me. So you plan on getting caught as a 70 year old. I thought the chances were pretty good that I wouldn't be able to high-tail it at it here.

And I probably would get caught and I thought maybe like you know if I was using the money for good reasons also. I could get I could get at the side of the press on my on my side and maybe. How old were you having these fantasies? My 20s. Yeah he did. He taught me about it. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be at work and be and and think about like You know, I thought about being old when I was in my 20s. That's funny. Yeah. Oh, I've been thinking Yeah, I thought I thought about my whole life you're growing old. Yeah But yeah, I used to do daydream that I Would rob banks of my 70s and be known as like almost like a cult

Character. What if I give it a becouper. What if you did a becooper? What would you do with the money? Oh, I would donate it to not to like organizational charities, but to like just people I came into contact with that needed it. So Robin. A more on one-on-one kind of deal where like... Like Percy Ross. I don't know.

Thanks a million. I remember. Yeah. Yeah, where are you going to run into these people that need that obviously need money? Percy Ross. I don't know. Thanks a million. I remember. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you going to run into these people that need that obviously need money? Um, I, I run into them now. So why wouldn't I run into them?

That's 70. And I feel like if you would rob the bank and they dig it, he's like, yo, my fucking place burned down. You'd be like, don't worry, dig it. I got to that. I understand. I thought, you're just thinking more like people in the streets. Oh, I could, I could go dig it. I got that I understand I thought I'm like people in the streets. Oh, I could I could go into it. I can go into a very low-income

A neighborhood and just just fall up and just put a pile of money and start One guy now has all the money. Now I'm Percy Ross You feel like the Joker on the, in the movie, like just throwing the money out, like Rob Prince's blast in the back, or I would sit. I would, he's not gone to bus, he's got the whole cane, he's listening. Listen to what's going on all around.

And like, he hears some person saying they're having a bad day. Sounds like a horrible way to spend your day, man. Yeah. Well, I get the thrill of robbing the bank. That I'm with you. And I would never do it with violence. I do like a chocolate gun.

No, no, no gun. And just a note. I would just a note and be like, just a note. But we got to pretend you have a gun. But you're no threat then. Of course you're no going to say. What you're no going to say.

Oh, I have a bomb strapped to me. Oh, all right. But no bomb. I got a bomb in my pants. Okay. So now, as mentioned, like I'm robbing the bank, yeah, please don't set off the alarm, put all the money into this bag. And no, and I'm not here to hurt anybody. And let's just do this quick and easy. Yeah. Yeah. But I do and fat to have a bomb that will kill all of us. If

you don't, do you think as if you were a bank teller and a and then 70 something year old man gave you that note, you'd be ready to fight if he is like, I don't have a gun. I don't have no, I would never. I would just give him money. Yeah, I think most people would too. They're like, they're not there to become heroes. What's the escape plan, man? Mobility is good. Some of the sewers. I would just get, uh, I would just get into a car. Yeah. Just drive way and hopes that, you know, then maybe a band in the car.

That sounds solid to me, man. I don't know, like, like, like one of the best bank robberies ever is in the movie heat. Oh, man, that's true. That was, oh, it sounds awesome. It sounds so amazing. It's just shot so well. They walk in there. They got these big duffel bags and shit. It's fucking amazing. I think I, what would you bring to it? I mean, advice not to do it most likely. That would be good. But if we're going to get into it, I wouldn't mind a swipe at the

drive at the driving powerway driver. Yeah. You're a good driver. Like if you got into a high speed. I think that I I have in me a risky driver who will take the risks you need to I can vouch for that. I've driven with them several times while he's texting and going through red lights and shit. So you wouldn't want me driving. No. Oh my god. Yeah, probably not. No. I wouldn't want to go in. I wouldn't want to be in one car with the violence. He's in the car that's going 30 and passing lanes. He's still seeing him. Yeah, he's the jerk off behind the crash cars in somebody's blind spot.

Yeah, I don't want to threaten anybody here. So I would like to go in there and just like get up on the fucking the teller stand like the desk. And I want to be the guy that's like, we are here for the bank's money. We are not here for your money. Do not be a hero and you will go home tonight. Right. Like kind of shit and just let everybody know. Be cool. Yeah. And nobody's going to get hurt.

I got you. I don't know if people feel safe in that situation anyway. I mean, it's always backed up by the threat of violence. That's the problem. So it's like no matter what you say. My only friend has a bomb truck to him. He's got a bomb, you got a shotgun in your hand. And a cane.

The threat I had. I had always hoped I would, when I grew, when I had grown older, I would look like George Burns. Yeah, all right, That's cool without the cigar I guess why would you even put the cigar just to give the look the bow tie and the look of like you know like how could I How could I even turn this guy in the tellers maybe they'll just they won't even tell them You want to look like a people old man. Yeah, they're like you're drawer was $6,000 short Yeah, they're like you're drawer was $6,000 short

Oh, this cute old man came in and he looked at you remember George Burns. No, okay, well He said goodnight grace you know Pass some of the favor like I got a lot of experience on it. I got to get something for my grand daughter's birthday. It's a confidence game. What is he talking about? I have no fucking clue. Rob's bank by the desk. You have to get something for your grand daughter's birthday?

Yeah, like he uses his age. He's like, he's seen Ily's. He's talking to a wall. Shit, shit, shit, this pants in front of the teller. I feel like just giving him money so he'll go. Oh my god. He just shit his pants in front of the teller. I feel like just giving the money so old guy. Oh my god. These shit is pants. Yeah. Yeah.

Can we can't smell it? Give them $1,000 to get in the fuck out of here. I'll chip in here. Take something out of my drawer. Hold on, sir. Hold on. Don't set off the bomb. It's coming.

Did you ever hear the story of the guy who had the bomb strapped it with neck that the pizza. Oh, yeah. So the whole documentary about it it's crazy all right what we say I'm sorry remember that pizza guy that he was a pizza delivery guy and you got hijacked into putting a bomb around yes holy shit I forgot about that guy yeah was he was that for real was he wrong I think that was real oh that's nuts. It's weird at the end, right? Where he's like, you think he's

in on it. And then he's like, but he's so forlorn. He's like, come on, guys. It's gonna blow up. He doesn't seem panicked at all. If I recall correctly, it was never going to be able to be disarmed. Right. Yeah. The way they said it was a real bomb. It was a blue is head off. Oh, he died. Yeah. they said it was a real bomb. Oh he died. Yeah. Oh, they think he thought that it could be disarmed and he was in on it. But their whole entire plan was to kill the guy anyway, so it could never be disarmed. It was never able to be disarmed. So he was doing a, you have to go to 8.3 points to find like a key, which will unlock this. And the whole time, they just knew they were going to blow it down. It was like this really smart lady and this really smart guy who built the problem and then put them up to. Oh man. You should watch a documentary. You would love it.

Yeah, the cops are holding them there because they're not gonna let them leave to do this scavenger hunt. And so he's like begging. He's like, well, you know, not knowing again that there was nothing he could have done to prevent the bottom of the foot. I don't even want to make anybody cry, right? Like could you imagine being so fucking cold, you're like, I'm going to put this bomb on you and you, I know it's going to kill you, but I'm lying to you. How do you, how do you do that? Like how do you even fucking go, Pan?

And you had a shotgun, didn't you? Or something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he had a cane that was a little, hold on. Hold on. It's some sort of gun. Yeah, that was a working gun if you had saw it. It looked like something that guy with the bomb. Yeah, they gave him a cane. They gave him a cane that had a, that had a, that he,

if he pulled the trigger on it, it would shoot a bullet. What did they want to do? Rob banks. Rob banks. Yeah. So that this, the, it's on that flex. It's called evil genius. The true story of America's most diabolical bank heist.

Jesus Christ all right Yeah, you know, we don't want to check it out, man. It's pretty cool chilling man and like those people are out of our world are you? Up for joining our gang when we get when we hit our our golden years a man. I don't want to Forob anybody not I'd rather thrill you know that one last high. Think of that adrenaline. Yeah. You're sitting home for the how many consecutive months staring at your cat. You know, middle-bores. Yeah, you import a chance to be out of it to go like they'll

probably make a movie out of it. I had a movie. Already everything. They would make a movie out of it. It's like these retired reality star guys. Oh, that's pretty good. That's a great angle. That's not a great angle, that's a great angle. We got cancel bands. We don't have multiple seasons like you, Q.

Yeah, you do. Well, can we do? People love to see the fall. So I mean, you're doing it. Yeah, but we do people love to see the fall? So I mean, yeah, but I don't want to be the fall. Like you like you want to see the people. Yeah, man, look, I could be involved in trying to talk you guys out of it, but I don't want to do it. What is the point? He provides all the up front has to get all the balls. Oh, and then he gets a cut of it. Yeah, you're like,

so you're sitting at the end of the day. I don't think you guys are gonna pull it off and he's given away all the money to people at buses. Well, he's given away his share. He's not given away our share. You're like John Voikin' Heat. Does my taste come off the top before it gets distributed?

Yes. You got a percentage. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, there you go. I don't know. Boys, I never had that fantasy of like one of the grow old and Rob Banks. I just kind of want to grow old and just chill out. Okay, what about then taken down a casino by like count cards?

All right, now you talk to that. Have you had that fantasy? I haven't had that. I can break into the vault and like get Ming to that little box. I'm just if we devote our lives every month, smart enough, but yes, you are. If you devote and we hire somebody who can do it to train, train us, yeah, we'll get Tom Milizowski. You want to call it right? Every person you're talking about, I've seen in a skin tight suit on this podcast.

I don't know that. I'll be wearing so they distract people from our bank. I'm just talking to them. Tom and get them going, body stockings. To distract everybody. Ah. We start kissing, everyone's like, what? You want me a Walter, if I could rob a Nutella.

All right, now I'm a true student. We just send them in and then we never rob the bank. You want me a Walter fucking Robin the tellers right now We just send them in and then we never rob the bank Look at him What a great episode of Patreon, that'll be something. Oh, that would be something. Oh my God, mighty. My last question. Godzilla minus one. We think this is your trailer.

Worst name ever. Not a great name. Did you see the trailer though? It's a new movie. I think it's only coming out. Oh, is it Japanese? It's Japanese. I'm sure I'll get a limited release in minus one.

In America. Yeah, doesn't it sound like a... It's like you get some abortion? Oh, to me, it sounded like, you know, like a I don't know like a countdown or something. You know, like, but how you respond to a wedding invitation, like I'll be coming minus one up myself. A little minus one. Maybe crash is a wedding. That would be amazing. I saw the trailer. I know I've been burned too many times, is like, I can't get excited. The same guy who directed it also did the visual effects,

I noticed, and the visual effects, there was a couple moments where I was like, mm, I don't know. I just can't get excited about that stuff anymore. I think I crossed over that line, where I'm gonna have to see it before I have my self to have a pulse for it. It's a shame that's what it's come to you, though.

Any sage really wants to see the nun too. And I saw the first nun and I'm like, I don't expect the nun to be better. She can see the first nun. She did. She likes it. She can handle that tense. She could handle that, but then for some reason, she can't handle like Amazon Prime. There's a movie about a demon shark.

And I'm like, yeah, you want to watch that? She's like, no, too scary. I'm like, how is that too scary? Like it makes no sense. We just watch charred nato. She's seen charred nato. We saw all the charred natos. Nah, it's not, but we watch jaws the other night together.

I mean, there's a lot of blood and guts in that. She stays engaged the whole time. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she watches it. And that's a long movie, man. There's a lot of blood and guts in that. She stays engaged the whole time. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she watches it. And that's a long movie, man. There's a lot of movies like that. No, there's a lot of non-shark moments in that movie too. There's a lot. Yeah, there's a, you know, you, they make you wait for the, for the tension for the payoff. Yeah, not like today's movies where like, there's something going on every two seconds. We want to see the corner of the

screen and you're like, you want to see the mega toe. And you have to wait till it gets on video so you can pause it and then watch somebody break it all down for you on every two seconds. We want to see the corner of the screen. And you're like, I want to see the mech. And you have to wait till it gets on video so you can pause it and then watch somebody break it all down for you on a YouTube video. Yeah, yeah, because you can't figure it out. We want to see the mech too. Marybeth is like, this is an action movie. This is not a scary movie.

This is like Jason Stadham like doing his action shit except for the water. Yeah, I didn't. It's it's weird because it's a hybrid American Chinese movie. That was my issue with the first one. Yeah, it's really strange. Yeah, like the one character who look like an anime character and the first one she's hiding this one.

But like, yeah, the way they had her hair and stuff, it's like that she just looks like an anime person. Yeah. I don't know. What I do know, glad to be back. Yes. Glad to be talking to everybody again. Glad to kind of glad the summer's over. Summer was brutal, man. All I did was work and get fucking...

Get this bum hip. I don't know, man. I like the warm weather and the pool, but I walk in. I love autumn, man. My favorite season. Bring it on. We'll be heading down to Gettysburg for Patreon. That's right. Mm-hmm. That's right. All kinds of stuff coming up. So stay tuned, everybody. Stay tuned! We'll be heading down to Gettysburg for Patreon. That's right.

That's right. All kinds of stuff coming up. So stay tuned everybody. Stay tuned. Tell them Steve Dave.