Tell Em Steve-Dave - #585: AP Law

Episode Date: February 4, 2024

Q’s eye-candy status is jeopardized when John the sexy lawyer visits TESD Town.

Hey, it's your old buddy, Brian, here to let you know that this week's episode is also on YouTube. You know, it's one of those rare occasions where we had cameras in the studio. So now you get to see what John, the sexy lawyer, looks like if you go to at TESDtown on YouTube. Hello. Just a quick announcement or really not so much an announcement as more of a plea for assistance from any tech savvy ants out there. I am looking for someone to help with 3D scanning.

I have two items that I need scanned and I have not been able to locate anybody in the New Jersey, New York area who was able to do it. So that's why I am reaching out today for anyone who might have the abilities to 3D scan an item and then send the files of the scan to back to me. All right. So if you had the capabilities and you're in the somewhat local area, Gmail is K-MUSE2 at gmail.com. That's K-M-E-W-E-S-2 at gmail.com. And I would very much appreciate if anybody's able to help us out. All right, thanks, back to the show. ["Mama's Boy Town"]

TSD town is full, I mean, I'm sorry, it's full of wusses. Yeah. it really is. It's a mama's boy town I want Q and Brian angry at the game. I want Walt belittling Q and Brian about how dumb they are, their doltz, for not getting it. I will happily, you know, help TSD, of charge if it's something I can actually do. That is on a record for life. If it's something I can actually do. We've got nine cameras going to prove it.

Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave. Hey, Walt. Hello. Hey, Q. Hello. And hello, John. Hello everyone.

Yeah. Or as everyone else knows him, a sexy lawyer. We can finally drop that. Thank God. And now, John the lawyer. Well, why are you dropping it? You weren't wrong. I want to see. I want to ask the table.

Did my hype live up to the expectations? The adjective I would use would not be sexy. He's clearly a handsome man. But sexy lawyer sounds weird. It just sounds weird. And now when I meet the guy, I'm like, hey, it's John the sexy lawyer. All right, well, we don't have to call him that.

All right, now we can just call him John. I think we do, the lawyer. I feel like, I'm telling you, I wish you were here earlier. I talked to John for like an hour. I'm like, I want to be his friend. Really? Yeah. He's a cool guy.

Well, what's he got? Super interesting. Yeah, he's got all kinds of stuff. We're going to find out. Akeli, Akeli, I know Akeli doesn't like it. I don't like it. You don't like being at the, all of a sudden he's at the, He's got all kinds of stuff we're gonna find out He was the IKD4 at 580 episodes Q walled asked me for a hug How old are you? 35. Oh, younger. He's younger. He's got some kind of career going on.

He's got a Genesee quab. You should have seen it earlier. He had a scarf on that completed the outfit. Yeah, Mr. Big from Sex and the City walking around. Yeah. Yeah. But you can Kirk you I wasn't I wasn't nice. Had a hair. I like it. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. I think sexy lawyer. I think like like a woman goes posters to that woman that got like that was trying to get him in court. Oh, right. Right. Yeah. So our guarders that to me is sexy lawyer. You think my eye would pass that show that queer eye for the straight guy. Yeah, I think it would. I think I would. I could put my own picking out. Yeah, it's a 10. That's an 8. Wait a second. Are you a gay guy? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we can drop that. Yeah. No. John the lawyer. You know, John just relieved it's not. John the sexy lawyer?

Yeah. Yeah. Ghost pussy, the least impressive of all the nicknames. There's a lot, like there's so much I wanted to ask him, but I had to like hold back, you know, during the conversations. Yeah. So I don't know how much you want to give away in terms of like who you work for, but he is, uh, he's hard core Q. What do you mean? He has listened to the catalog three times when he's at work. He keeps it on all the time. See, if I was one of his clients, I wouldn't want to hear that.

So I keep it on in, uh, so I'm corporate counsel for a technology company. Okay. So I don't, I have clients, but they're separate from that. So in my office for that job, not many people come in. So I can just kind of let it go. And if people don't like it, well, then too bad. They can leave the office, I guess. Oh, that's cool.

But what about if a subject comes up that's not, is not office fair? Like it may be. The door's closed. Do you have one of those buttons that locks the door when people come in wish I had. Yeah, lock it right down. Yeah, I wish I had. No, no. Yeah, but we found that like we're like kumbaya and like movies and TV and world views and all kinds of stuff.

Yeah. This is what happens when you're an hour late. I got to start looking for a new friend. I don't think I was an hour late. I gotta be honest with you. Oh, you weren't an hour late. This is what happens when you're an hour late. I got to start looking for a new friend. I don't think I was an hour late. I got to be honest with you. Oh, you weren't an hour late. That's true. You were not an hour late. You were given the wrong time. 15 minutes late. So how did you guys actually come together? Like, did you email Walt, I guess? No, I just showed up one day after the office and John was here and, you know, he just was here long enough

for us to find, like, pick and see what, see who he was and what he was about. And he first, he told me he's one of these guys that, like, will get dropped off in the remotest part of the wilderness and just survive with a twig and a piece of string. I don't know. I don't know. You're right that you do you and you have no food and nothing but like a knife. So no. But and no clothes.

Yes. You nailed it. Just a loincloth. Yeah. So. So. But you did but if you. I do I do love the outdoors and I do go.

Where do you live? Sorry, where do you it? I do love the outdoors and I do go to... Where do you live? Sorry, where do you live? Just north of Boston. Oh, okay. So that was your Massachusetts plates out there. Yeah. Oh, okay.

I was like, I wonder if this is him. Is it in the ice car? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Come on, we have to get a piece of shit. And yeah, but I do do, I like to fish a lot. So I like to go to really remote parts solo alone and I'll camp out there and yeah, but I'm not like, I don't bring like a... a lot. So I like to go to really remote parts solo alone and

I'll camp out there and yeah, but I'm not like I don't I don't bring like a knife and string. And then cook it and then eat it. Yes, I've done that. Wow, that is manly. That is that's something I can never do like I would eat the twig and I'd eat my own loincloth probably. That string looks not like it might taste good.

If that string is a drink, I'll have that for dessert. But I bring back up. It's not like if I don't catch a fish, I starve. I do bring other food. But you don't bring a cell phone, you told me. Well, my cell phone doesn't work when you go out to those places. So I need a satellite phone, which I do have. Because if you, you know, if something happens, that's your only line out.

And do you bring any weapons? It's like, didn't you say your, your, your, yeah. If I, if I go to bear country, I will, I'll bring, um, I'll bring a firearm with me. What do you use to, to shoot a bear? My brother just got a desert eagle. Yeah. I don't, I don't bring a desert eagle. I, I mean, I know they say like they say 45 Magnum is the thing to use for a bear,

but I use a 357 Magnum just because I can I'm more accurate. Yeah, I've never had to use it. Thankfully, I've never had to shoot a living thing ever. Well, your first thing would have been to shoot the bear right you fired in the air scared him away a little bit. Yeah, you well you want to just be loud in general around bears because bears usually don't have anything to do. Tip of his ear. But I've never I've never gotten to the point where I've even had to take it out. I mean, this is why I'm so captivated by this man because TSD town is full. I mean, I'm sorry, we're, it's full of wusses. It really is. It's a momma's boy town.

It really is. Something like John walks in, it's just like, It really is. So like, someone like John walks in, it's just like, Oh, get him. He's got his foot off. Yeah, these guys foot off like attack here at the home invasion. Yes, big yes. I would have run away.

Alex is stabbing people. Victor's trying to shoot people. Tom's reading a book about colored magic. Who's talking about that? That's a perfect example. Tom is sitting in the back, waiting for a D&D episode to come up after we record this, and he's reading a book. John would be out there killing some sort of like animal to eat.

In the meantime, we'll be waiting for him to part some rats. Yeah, like, have you killed something to eat while you were out? No? No. No, you always really like to eat. Yeah, I'm not. I'm, I'm, I'm much more into fishing, hunting, I respected everything, but I don't know if I have it in me to like kill a deer or something like that. Just, uh, even though, hey, I eat meat, I go to the grocery store, I know where it comes from, but uh, yeah, something about actually doing something about

looking them in the eye and taking them down. They're seeing the children next to them. Right. Anyway, how did you feel the first time Walton Kiddum started polishing your knob on the air? Like, how'd that feel? I was shocked. Did you know it was coming? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Because I had come in, Walton said, I had, you know, I had some time, so I emailed, I said, hey, could I come down and check the place out? Yeah, of course, yeah. We had a nice conversation. I was here for a while, we were talking. Yeah, of course, yeah. We had a nice conversation. I was here for a while, we were talking. Yeah, you were here for so long that I was like, this dude is not a real lawyer.

You can't have this much free time. You can't possibly have this much free time. He was here how long? We were like two and a half hours? Oh yeah. Again, it was great. It was like, sit delayed in conversation, but I was like, when he left, I was like,

I don't think he's a real lawyer. You got to like me, right? Walt, you really like this guy? Well, like I said, I mean, he came down and when he said that, you know, he had a legal background and we had a legal issue that I can talk about now. For years, I was trying to get. Now from this NDA? No, no, no, not that.

He's working on that one. He's working on that one. He's making inroads. I have a couple words I'm allowed to say, top five. And he's working on getting me a few more. But for years, I was trying to get Cryptozoic Man like back or not totally back, but somehow work with the character again for Purposes that I wanted to bring the character back and do something with it and I couldn't get any response from the original publisher. I mean emails went unanswered for years and I asked John if he could look into it and tell him what happened.

So, uh, so yeah, I took a look at the agreement, the original agreement with the publisher. Um, and I quickly realized that they probably had no real interest in giving the materials back to Walt because it was too small of an issue. So I found another issue in the agreement, an issue that I knew would get their attention. And real money would also benefit Brian and Walt. Can you say what the issue was? It's up to Walt. Let's say it and then, well, as my lawyer.

So here's the thing. There's nothing in that agreement that I reviewed that would preclude you from saying it, but I don't know if you've signed other NDAs with that company with AMC or anyone else that would. No, we could say could say. Okay. So basically there were, there are royalties, there's back royalties that are likely owed to Walt and Brian. And I thought that would probably get their attention because that's a legitimate issue. Cause that's, that's when they, what do they call that when they, uh, check the books, what do they call it?

They'd have to audit. Audit audit. And so, and so there was language also in there that stated that, you know, if that it is at each party's disposal to hire a third party auditor. Yeah, this is standard stuff. Standard stuff. Another day that Joker's ends. Very. I'll be ordering one of brothers and the production company like you got with it giving you God. It's standard. It's standard stuff.

Look at those books left and right. Can't wait. It's standard stuff. So I thought, OK, this is probably the way in to get them to respond, at least. Sure. So I sent them a letter where I went through everything. I cited the different parts of the contract. It's a standard like demand letter, basically.

You weren't being a dick about it. No, not at all. Hey, man. At the end of the day, the reality is, and in my job, I deal with other businesses and we never wanted to be something where we're enemies. So yeah, I was really nice about it. I brought the points up.

I said I was excited basically about kind of giving some new life to this property. And then over months of back and forth, sometimes slow, sometimes quick to respond, you know, we at least we have. Was anybody over there that worked on it originally or were they like, what's this? Yeah, no, they knew what we were talking about. And like John says, over the course of a few months, the dialogue was opened and he came through and we got the green light, we can use Cryptozoic, man. Nice.

We're going to reprint the original series and a nice big hardcover with a brand new story I want to tell. With them or it's all back to you guys now? It's not back to us completely, but we can use it for what I want to use it for. I'm not really interested in trying to publish it to to the Marketplace like the mainstream like go through diamond and everything I have like I want to do something I have a plan for with it with the patreon and great and something I really wanted to do for a while So and John got John got it done. It's my pleasure. Really. I enjoyed doing it Yeah, I mean with and like it nobody I like it's just weird though

How you just see an email from a lawyer It just means a hell of a lot more like you pay attention to it way more than like sure the guy who co-created the property Which is not the way it should be right, but it is weird how the world works. Wow pro bono. Yes. Wow To be fair to Walt, I think that if I reached out asking just for what you had been asking for, I think I probably would have gotten ignored too. You would have more to speak it. I think having the other issues connected to it

is what really opened up the communication. So those other issues end dynamically for their signs as well? They're still ongoing the other issues. Okay. So if you did charge for this amount of work that you've done, what do you think that that bill would date? other issues end dynamically for their side? They're still ongoing the other issues. Okay. Yeah. So if you did charge for this amount of work that you've done, what do you think that that bill would be?

That's an interesting question. It would be just an estimate, but somewhere between $5,000 and $10,000. Wow. The work that you put in? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, man. We should have went to law school, bro.

Because every attorney I know is like, bank. Just based off of the emails. Send in some emails, the research that was done, you know. And then the phone calls. I wonder why he's on this episode. Oh, yeah. I mean, I got a Patreon show lined up. John the lawyer presents the funniest legal cases in history. But my offer still stands. I'm happy. If I can, I will happily help TSD, free of charge,

if it's something I can actually do. That is on the record for life. If it's something I can actually do. We've got nine cameras going to prove it. To qualify my lawyer. If it's something I can actually got nine cameras going to prove it But like if get him gets arrested or something that I wouldn't be able to handle that I'm not criminal not criminal So like what are some like what are some of the things that you were, you would fall under, like we could go to you with these types of problems.

So most of what I do is I negotiate contracts. Most of the time I say 50% of the time. I set up for different corporations, like the infrastructure for their corporation, usually smaller businesses, set up like phantom stock plans, or set up, make sure that they have the appropriate policies and procedures depending on the type of business they're in.

Like I work in the financial sector a lot. So it's highly regulated. You have to make sure your company has X, Y, and Z different policies and procedures. And so that's part of what I do now vendors. Now, when you were a kid. At what age did you say, you know what, I want to be a lawyer. I don't know.

I mean, I always it always seemed like something I couldn't do as a like when you're I'm really young, you know, I think after college is when and when I started to get internships working at law firms I thought I think I can probably do this. So it wasn't like so as a kid you weren't just like I'm like that Oh, I think as a kid I'd be like it would be so cool to be a lawyer to do this, but To go from that to I'm actually gonna do it. I think I can do it took a long time To go from that to I'm actually gonna do it. I think I can do it took a long time. But because it's not like, you know, like when you think of people like I want to be a lawyer, it's usually, you know, it's not like I want to work in finance, financial law.

No, that's not what I want. Yeah, I wanted to be in trial, do trial. And I did some of that, like in law school and after law school, but, but nice to just work from home or go to the office once in a while and not have to... But like to make your case to 12 people on a jury. Yeah. Now the only kind of trials I do now are podcast trials. And you may have one coming up, right? And you may have one coming up, right? We're going to be doing a trial by fire, dot, dot, dot, ants, where the man sitting over there who hasn't been on Mike for almost a month now.

Look at him. He's checked out. He's looking at his phone. He's not even listening. Get him, Steve. Dave, you're going to represent him. You're going to be his defense to try to sway whoever the judge is to allow him to come back on Mike. And I thought like someone said it would be a great episode 600.

The trial by fire. And just coming up, I think in 14 short weeks. Wow. Yeah, it's coming up pretty fast. 600? 600, so what do you think? What would you like to do? Would you like to, you and Bryd judge, or would you like to play?

What role would you like to be in? Oh, we can prosecute. I don't wanna prosecute you. I know, that's the thing, I don't wanna do it either. Could we get like the angry cons that are online to like zoom in and give testimony? Like just be like, hey man, you could block your face and shit,

but all that nasty shit you say about get them, you could come here and like give your argument. I think that would scare all these fucking basement dwellers. Yeah. To be like, that would shake in their boots with, they could write it online, anonymously. They could write any heinous shit they want.

But can you manage to walk into this room and saying it to this? To the man's face. To the man's face and all his friends and everything. I really doubt you're gonna find, unless there's some fucking angle. Over Zoom though, you think they, to dial in over Zoom from their basement?

My, my, They could wear like one of those anonymous masks. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, guy like one of those like anonymous masks. Yeah. Both guy. Yeah, yeah. Guy Fox. Yeah, Guy Fox. We want to just a random listener to go up against a real lawyer.

Why do you get protestable? Not for the lawyer. Okay. Are any of the barons free to prosecute? Hey, barons free. Oh, God. Well, if there was a guy on the cruise, I'm sorry, who did a lip sync song as the white baron., he was. Oh yeah, I took some pictures.

He really looked like you. He nailed it. Yeah, he even had the. I work on your quick over and he's like, you still have the price sticker, the size sticker on it. It was he did a great job. It was great. I yeah, his name is Justin Kyle. He was I met him on the boat. He was a great guy. Great guy. He got it. He was a hardcore but I was when he He was, I met him on the boat. He was a great guy. Great guy, yeah. He got it. He was a hardcore, but when he came up, I didn't know he was coming up.

It was photo-accurant. Okay, but a baron as a prosecutor? Well, if people feel like they can't get angry enough, mean enough to prosecute, get him as themselves, perhaps a baron might be able to do it. Well, he has a rival in TSD town too. He has a, he has, Getem does have a natural rival. He's here today.

He's into fantasy books. He's here. I don't, like, what's that called? Reading about purple magic. And he has volunteered to be the prosecutor if we can't come. Ask me if I wanted to be. I said, sure, boss. I, but he has said that he would be up for the challenge

and he says like, there's no shame in losing to a real lawyer if he loses. So, you know, I think he would go into it with a lot of, he would take it seriously. Would you? Everything Tom does, he does seriously. You're willing to really seriously try and keep

To be because some of the stuff on they say about get them is pretty rough, so I would feel bad I Would feel bad about saying some of the stuff that they put on Reddit about get them I don't't know if I'd feel that's what lawyers do though, man. They're like, they know they're fucking their client as guilty as sin, but they're just like, let's go after the victim. Yeah. Like you're looking at him. That's he doesn't a human. That's a shark right there. He's a corporate lawyer.

He's not. He's not. I feel a little safer, but I don't know. Some of the stuff are pretty mean, but how hard can I go get them? As hard as you're willing to go. I mean, for the sake of the show, for, some of the stuff are pretty mean, but how hard can I go and get them? As hard as you're willing to go. I mean, for the sake of the show, for the sake of the bit of the episode, I think the anti-giddim crowd would like to see their viewpoints.

Accurately represented? Yeah, represented with a lot of him and vigor, not go into it like you're gonna roll over and show your belly the first time. No, represented, you know, with a lot of him and vigor, you know, not go into it like you're going to roll over and show your belly to first time. No, no, no, no belly. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm like...

You're not a bad looking guy, bud. Come on. No handsome lawyer. But yeah, I'm good. I'm in it. Well, listen, all right. Well, you're... If necessary.

If necessary. You don't know. Maybe there is some listener out there. My email hasn't changed. It's kmus2 at gmail.com. If there is some listener out there that would like to come in and act as the prosecutor. Yeah. We're open. I'm open to listening to why you should be the prosecuting lawyer. You just got to like... Especially if you are a lawyer. That would be amazing. That would be great. You think there's two lawyers listening to why you should be the prosecuting lawyer. You just gotta like- Especially if you are a lawyer, that would be amazing. That would be great. You think there's two lawyers listening?

I don't know. I was shocked that there was one. There's no way! Yeah. Yeah. Remember in fact to Q's trial. Yeah. Chris Ladondo performed really, really well at that trial.

Wow, what was he at that trial? Well, he was, I think he was a witness for you, but you even said, I want him to be my lawyer. He did a very good job. He won't take the job though. He texted me privately and was like, he wants to get him back on the show. He thought that we were being assholes keeping him off and I was like, bro, it's a bit. Chill out.

I don't know if he'd want the job. We leave no meat on that buffalo. Oh, that's a bit? Okay, that's a bit. Yeah, wow. When you were doing your, you said you never professionally defended anyone criminally or you just did in law school? No, I just don't.

I do not practice. You do not. But you did in law school for practice? For practice, yeah. How'd you like it? Because I always thought, like whenever I watch that kind of shit, it's like they go on and on and on. And I'm like, I don't think I could talk for that long.

Yeah. I mean, when you see a movie and you see a closing statement in particular, it's usually pretty short. Emotional. Floury, emotional. Yeah. Most of the, there is some of that, but most of a closing statement,

and these can go on four hours. It's just about summarizing evidence that's beneficial to you, and then going through the evidence that say the prosecution has, and discrediting it, with argument. You cannot argue during the case in chief. You can't argue when you're questioning someone.

You can't make your points of argument during those questions. So you reserve those points of argument for like a closing statement. But you can get them like, cause you see it all the time on like shows where they, movies where they trap someone with the questioning.

Sure. Where they're like, but you said, you can do that. You can do that. You can impeach someone for an inconsistent statement or something like that, but you can't necessarily connect those dots for the jury until the trial. Excuse me, until the closing argument. All right.

Now, you said you had, you kind of had to have written up something in case you weren't sure what was going to happen today. Could you give maybe just a couple of little talking points of what you think your defense might be in episode 600? Because I mean, I'm sure if you've listened, you know that the argument against him is strong and it's financially damaging It's strong and it's financially damaging with threats of people abandoning the page. In mass. Yeah. Sorry. I just want to make a suggestion.

Why don't we make the trial episode 599? This is when we go into 600 celebrating all the things and knowing whether he's a part of it or not. Okay. Just something to think about. I'm good with that. Unless that's the gimmick for 600 and we don't want to think of it or not. Okay. Just something to think about. I'm good with that. Unless that's the gimmick for 600 and we don't want to think of another gimmick.

All right, so we'll talk about that. Yeah, I think that's a worthy 600. You might be right, yeah, all right. So what did you draw up? How much would this have cost, just what you drew up? Cause there's a lot of people in here. Well, there's two copies of this. And it's very big print cause I thought I may be delivering it.

Would it be just as much to get CryptoZalkamere back as what you wrote? No, this is less. Okay. Yeah, because I didn't have to go through a case file. I just, from knowledge and memory of... Memory. Wow. Yeah.

So, yeah, I bait... Do you want me to do it or do you want me to just... Just some things... Yeah, you don't want to give away your whole... Yeah. So, basically, I wanted to... I think there is a really good opportunity to have people empathize with Getem here.

You know, we have a situation where Little Getem, you know, was abandoned by his biological parents. Sure. Is that your view on adoption, abandonment? Well, I think they were. It is. Is there any stronger? Well, adoption is when someone were to...

Right, but you would say that anybody who gave that kid up for adoption is abandoning them? Kind of, right? Is there any stronger statement from adoption than, like, we don't want you? That's what I was going to tell Joe DeRosa the other day, because he was adopted, right? Yeah, he's... I was going to be like, there's no stronger statement than, like, you have two parents and they both agree

That's one of the you know whether, whether or not he was abandoned... That's gonna be rough. You can't help... It's not a sympathetic figure. I don't know. He really isn't. He's been unlucky in love. You know, too.

And, you know... And he's found a home here in T.E.S.T. Specifically in Airport Plaza. Right now you're arguing on his bed. You know, this used to be his second home, but his first home burned to the ground. So now this is his first home. You know, then I was going to bring up a lot of the different points that I think people forget, like the fact that he is down to do just about anything for tell him Steve Dave

You want him to put a costume on he puts it on you want him to kind of act like a fool he will You know unprompted even some food is the second nature You want it you want a killer game? That's get him tainment. You know, that's where we that's where the ants Since you brought get him tainment into Into you brought it into the case and now that they can really go after Get Emptayment, which was the worst game in TST history. Well, see, but that's what, you know, as an ants, what I love is when things fall apart. You know, I don't want the game to go off without a hitch and Q be delighted at how

well it's being played. I want Q and Brian angry at the game. I want Walt belittling Q and Brian about how dumb they are, their doltz, for not getting it. That's what I want. I think that's what the ants want. And without Get'em, I think you miss out on a lot of those opportunities.

I do think, don't take this the wrong way, Get'em. But it harkens back to the days of Stern with the whack pack like what are these collection of people like Jimmy the hair guy love him the death especially after this cruise holy shit wall. I got I got off that boat massive Jimmy fan you weren't before he said he was. You said on stage like I'm not sold on you But I was careful to say I don't dislike Jimmy right I just don't get the rabbit love for him And I got off that boat fully invested in Jimmy there guy that crowd That crowd loved him loved him. He commanded that fucking he was in a theater Yeah, fucking he was in the biggest theater in the world. He commanded the whole thing. He fucking Adam Ray wrapped around

his finger. He did great. That's where we're trying to get this guy though. Back to those levels of like adoration and he want to wrap, he wants that crowd wrapped around those fingers, right? Yeah, those big fingers, those sausage fingers. Wrap a lot around those fingers. You get assist working those fingers gangly insist also sexy lawyer do you think I have a lawsuit against Walt because unbeknownst to me he sent. on the boat and sandbag dust in the middle of a show with a game of dyslexia. You know, almost do round my whole cruise as what's Laura would be inappropriate for me to weigh in on this, but you might have an IED claim.

Yeah. Intentional infliction of emotional distress. Oh, I think I definitely do. All right. Killed. Fucking killed. Yeah. Beth pulled it out.

I was like, oh, mother. Yeah. Mary Beth come up and read them. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's pretty brutal. It was like, oh, mother. Yeah, Mary Beth, come up and read them. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's pretty brutal. It was pretty brutal.

Well done. Well, sorry. So we were going over points. Well, what about the other sides? Argument. Oh, well. He doesn't know at all. Yeah, that he doesn't really know anything.

He's just good at remembering Wikipedia facts and he squeals and makes weird noises and Just kind of is annoying and derails conversations from going Where they might otherwise go to humorous places because he kind of like puts it immediate stop to it with something boring uninteresting. Are you sure you want to prosecute her? No, I don't want to prosecute her. And the argument that like keeping him on is at a detriment to our bottom line.

I don't know that I buy that, that it's a detriment for two reasons. Because the argument here is that he shouldn't be on the regular TESD episode. No one is paying for that. So I could see an argument where he shouldn't be on the, you know, Patreon stuff because there are dollars that are attached to that. But the free TESD, you guys should be able to make all the decisions you want. You'd think so. Yeah.

Oh, you would think so. I have plenty of emails and I can show you screenshots of online forums where they're like, I've canceled my Patreon subscription. That's the only way to make these guys know that I mean business. They keep them off and this is the only way to do it. And they're rallying other listeners to do that. But he's already canceled, so go fuck yourself. What do we care then?

But I mean, if we, you know, but then- Is it noticeable? Is this a noticeable draw? I gotta have a forensic lawyer. I'm hoping you can go over our forensic lawyer. You can go over, go over. Before you leave tonight. Yeah.

Five hour ride to Boston. You can just look this over. I don't know. Five hour ride to Boston. Look at last year's numbers as opposed to this year's numbers and see if there has been a noticeable decline. It's tough though, right? You have to make a choice between your friend and the bottom line. But is it show business though? Show business. Isn't that like the entertainment

can't come at a cost of friendship, right? I mean, sometimes hard decisions have to be made. They do, but I always thought tell them Steve's day of strength was that they didn't really care or at least everyone except Walt didn't really care so much about the hate or, you know, what someone wants. I think Q has kind of been the most hard line about it. It's like, no, the show is what we

want the show to be. Yeah, I think so. And I think that that is the success. Is that Brian Paul's in that camp too? I think Brian does too. I think Q though, because he's on a political director. When you do that forensic, you know, look at our books, you look at his mortgage to him. Okay. He doesn't want to see those numbers go down. Whatever it takes.

You know? Sorry. This is an escape, though. I think this is an escape from the typical entertainment world that you'd see. Sure. And I think that is. Well, I can tell you that. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I find that like, like, Wickednami's been on the show so long and he is a friend. I don't know, man. I don't think you, just my whole career has been built with friends, so I can't see.

Jettison one. Yeah, like it doesn't make sense to me. You stay with the girl that you went to the dance with, you know what I mean? And get him kind of, he's been on the dance floor with us a long time. Yeah, it's hard because he has gout. Yeah, it's rough, it's rough and he's not a great dancer. But it's not like he's not involved in many other aspects.

He is on multiple Patreon shows. Sure. You know, no one has come after the patron shows yet. But, you know, they've said, you know, just keep TSD pure. And pure is me, Rye and Q. But before Patreon existed, all of these shows, all of these shows, the kernel of that idea came from TSD, you know, whether it be Sunday Jaff or Frank Fye or, you know, and granted those are two of the most beloved people.

You're good people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it has grown like the family and the ensemble, the cast, if you want to, I don't really like to call it cast as more friends. Yeah, it's hard to deny that like so many great people have come into our lives because of TSD would be a shame. But that keeps the other motherfuckers on their toes though.

Like they don't, they got to be funny at all times and not annoying. Well, they get dropped. Yeah. The other option, why don't you give, get him his own show that he has to produce and everything. I have begged him to do it. I have begged him to do it multiple times. It's like, you got to get your own show, please.

And he just will not do it. Big brains. He invites a guest on each week. They talk about stuff. A lot of people are probably going to hate it. Some people love it. but without a doubt, you guys will have footage that you can rip on in like for years to come.

So that's what we do. Yeah, we record it, you do video, then you go back and you watch it, then you criticize them. Yeah. Yeah, he won't do it though. I've begged him to do it. I was like, please just, you know,

this is gonna be great for you. It would be rewarding. And he's just like, he doesn't to do it. I was like, please, just, you know, this is gonna be great for you, it would be rewarding. And he's just like, he doesn't wanna do it. And, you know, it's for reasons of where people think he's got like, he's got this calloused rhinos like skin where he doesn't feel any of the barbs. It's not true. He says that he fears that, you know,

he would be taking the task and it would be, he would be ridiculed for hosting his own show. But so are me wanting you. I told him that too. It's like, hey man, I don't know if I was gonna like it, but a lot of people are gonna like it though. So why not do something just because not 100% is gonna like it. That's never gonna happen.

Unless it's IJ. Sexy lawyer, are you a Patreon subscriber? I am. What level? I think I'm $10. All right, nice. So how is so as a paying customer, like, if he put out the get him show, I'd watch it. Oh, he would have went out of that. I really like it. Yeah. Why would he do I might even up my subscription? Really? I might even up my subscription. Really? Wow.

Why would he do it? Why would he do it? He doesn't have a mic. That's all right. He's not talking. He's not talking. He doesn't have a mic. Why would he do it?

He's doing it a bit. Why would he do it? I don't do all my else. So he decides not to talk to me. Go ahead. You don't do well on your own, you said. Yeah. Okay.

All right. But you wouldn't be on your own, you said. Yeah. Okay. All right. But you wouldn't be on your own. You would have a guest every time, right? Right. Well, yeah, I told him, like, you know, do something with, like, you know, from 148's perspective, like you're reviewing things. View from 148 feet. Yeah.

Something like that. And I told him I would help him. I'm like, I'll produce it. I'll help you put it together. He's just not interested. He just won't do it. Okay. But And there was one thing I don't know if you know of this, but uh, what was the uh, the thing we were doing Was it a jimmy's mystery ink or get him wouldn't eat uh,

Yeah, that was uh, sunday jimmy's show about babies babies. Sunday Jeff, yeah. Yeah, so he, so prosecutor, you can't count on him every time. That's correct. Yeah. Shirtless either. That's in the story now, you can go after that. Imagine that, ladies and gentlemen, wouldn't eat out of a baby's diaper. In the negative column. in the negative column. But he would, you know, just as I think our farmer positives, you know, he stripped down and, you know, bare chested and put green makeup on to become the Hulk. He wears skin tight outfits that no sane man would ever wear. The hot dog belt.

The hot dog belt. You know, ate hot dogs off my belt multiple times. Well, that's like earlier I was talking about. On and off camera. Because you know they had to practice it. The prototype. Like earlier I was talking about Jimmy the hair guy, but get him falls into the same category.

It's like you see these people who have sort of gravitated towards Tesdytown and you're like each of them has value. It's not like we bring in people and then they're just fucking boring and they suck. Like if you don't see the, the get them and let the value and get them, like I don't understand it. Like the people would give me the hairy guy. Why is he got his own show? Fuck him. I don't understand how you don't see the value in. I, I, I concur. I don't get it. I think there's a lot of jealousy.

I think there's a lot of people who are like, that should be me friends with those guys and doing all those things. I do think there's some aspect of that. Not all of it though. I wouldn't be that crazy to paint that brought us a brush that they're all jealous, but I do think some are. For sure. I would just advise them like to get a skill you can charge a lot of money for and then just do it for free For a tell them Steve Dave. That's probably your way You know it is tax season I need I need some mechanic work and my fence needs to be there. That's how you make something, Jeff. But you know what? There's somebody out there leaping like,

I know how to build fences. There's somebody who wants to do it. Build the fence guy. Now with his own show, a page. Were there times in law school where you're like, man, I don't know if I'm going to make it? First year. First year? because they do this thing. Everything's graded on a curve.

Did you go away or were you home? I lived in Chicago for a lot of school, which is was away for me. Oh, awesome. Is that and the first year how much ass this guy must get? Oh, that's the fucking thing. It's like a windy city. That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing.

That's the thing. That's the thing. You know, Mary, I'm engaged. Uh-oh. Yeah. Okay. But I met her long after law school. And just so you know, I want to make sure that's on the record. Does she listen to TSD? No. No. Why'd you say it like that? Because when.

So I have one friend this guy miles who listens to TST everyone else in my life does not listen okay and my fiance if she hears it going she's like oh god put your headphones on because it get them the voices annoy her well I understand the voice I've been told I have a very nice voice. Beautiful voice. What's her name? Elena. Elena, come on Elena.

She'll probably listen to this one. She'll probably listen to this one. Give us a chance with our croaky voices. What does she do? That's so great. She's an HR. Yeah, she's so great. She's an HR. Yeah, she's an HR. She's one who has to bust everybody for everything. The Fun Police.

Exactly. Oh, exactly. Yeah. Could she be our HR? The TSD Town Studio HR? She has one. That's like two full-time jobs. There's this hot dog belt?

He's making people feel full. Can we get this approved? He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. He's making people feel full. There's this hot dog belt and he's making people feel full. Can we get this approved? He should not be wearing this green suit. I don't know why

they keep asking to wear this green suit. Show our elephants in the room and see what you make. Are we eating that an elephant's asshole on that one? Oh my god. Some businesses are better without HR, right? Definitely. Oh god, that's funny. So what, how did you discover TSD? Oh, I started listening episode 20 something.

Wow. It was through Kevin Smith. Okay. And, and then I became like completely, completely enamored by because at the time I started listening there was a lot of dysfunction in the TSD ranks. You don't say. Oh, I think it's different, at least from what do you mean? Explain that. Yeah, I'm curious. I

think Brian was at a pretty low point. What do you mean? And I was at a high point. Internally, he might have felt great. But no, I think, and, and that was riveting. It was so real, so raw, so much different than any of the other, you know, podcasts or anything I'd listen to that, who was it that you love, that guitar player? Tom Petty? Yeah, Tom Petty. Oh, yeah. I like you would listen to Tom Petty albums and it kind of would take you through the progressions of your life. Yeah, yeah. For me, TSD is like that. Oh, wow.

Because you guys are 10, 20 years older. Right. 20, really? Oh, yeah, Because you guys are 10, 20 years older. Right. 20, really? Oh yeah, we are, damn it. Sorry. It's not old. Some of us. So, the 10, yeah. So, yeah, I got to kind of see a little glimpse

of what was coming. The horrors that were coming your way. It's funny, I never ended up getting like a huge television show which made me millions of dollars, but a lot of other stuff was quite similar. Yeah, yeah, I would recommend that if you can do it. Yeah, I would recommend it if you can do it. Wow.

What won you over? Like what was the one episode you're like? Yeah. This is it, I'm a lifer. That's hard. Well, what pieces of advice resonated with you? Walt's, Walt, big time. Yeah, oh.

Because, oh yeah, for sure. Walt's. Are you squeaky clean too? You're on mic, you're on mic. Yeah, I am. These days I am squeaky clean. These days I am squeaky clean. When I was younger, I drank, go out, do all that,

all the stuff that young. Fun stuff. Fun stuff. But yeah, Walt's advice was always pretty much dead on. But who is Walt going to give advice to? His life was seemingly so picturesque and perfect. Well, he needed you and Brian, whose lives were not always so out of the chaos. You could feel a little better about himself. Brian. Whose lives were not always I made them feel really good so honest you were the Ryan about

About your life what was going on at least you know more than I think 99% of people would want to share Yeah, and so that really probably was the big hook. Just the honest, there you go. Yeah. A lot of people who have been listening a long time, they pine for those earlier years. They say there's not enough of that dynamic where it was like there was more, you know, there was a little bit of friction. Now it feels like there's less friction and it's more, you know, bits as they say. Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess one of you guys could take up like a drug,

drug addiction. Me, me, can I do it? No, I think that, I think that people that listened from a long time ago, like I have, it's now got to the point where we do feel like we know at least a part of you guys. So just you guys sitting around and talking is at least it's entertaining for me. You know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't try to force anything.

Yeah, it's tough because you think like we started in 2010, so that's 14 years ago. So like it was 42. Yeah. That is a long time ago. And you know, and a lot of the people who say, oh, those first hundred episodes, you know, it's not the same. It's like, well, you know, a lot of the great stories were told then. Yeah. So, you know, you know, so it's sometimes you come, you come to the mic and nothing's happened in the last two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. So there, you know, you have to take that consideration. I wander around my house waiting for the next IJ crew, so there's something to talk about.

And that's why you get like, you know, somebody eating hot dogs off a belt. There's just not any more good stories. I mean, that was great though. Keep that up. Keep that up? Yeah, that was fine. Could we ever envision a day when like, you know, cause I want you to become a regular full-time

CSK cast member. Could you eat hot dogs off the belt? Would it hurt your career? He can't even wear the belt? I mean, where's the belt? Let me answer that for him, yes. But it's not out of the realm of possibility, you know. It probably should be. It lives forever, man.

Is Tom Brady wearing the belt? Jeez, man. This is something I know you're going to be very excited to be a part of John have you ever heard of magic spoon oh yes I have okay well there you go man we tell me this is oh yeah everything about the guy just beautiful you're right I told you personality is looks everything you ever read miracle man or Marvel man cute Alan Moore oh yeah remember the little twinkle he had around him? Like this twinkle that, like nothing could see? There's like a twinkle on him. There's something, there's an aura.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like pixie dust just surrounds him. I'm blushing. You can get that with magic spoon, right? You can get magic spoon. In fact, that's the first thing they say right here, is make sure to mention that. You get a twinkle.

If your New Year's resolution is to cut back on sugar and add more protein to your diet and stay on track with your fitness goals, magic spoon makes that easier and more delicious than ever. Growing up, Cyril was one of the best parts of being a kid. But as you get older, you have to watch out for those sugar and empty carbs. Isn't that the truth, man? I fucking love apple jacks, but how many apple jacks can I eat? You're talking about the cereal? Yeah.

Yeah, that was my go-to. I almost choked to death on Captain Crunch once. You know, like they almost choked to death on Captain Crunch once. You know how like they had those little peanut butter balls? Yeah. And I was like, I was, I was putting, I was very young. I was probably five or six and put them in the back of this dump truck and then go, and sucking them out.

And it went down my throat and I started coughing at my mother. I had to like give me the Heimlich. She gave you the Heimlich? Yeah. Wait a minute. This is a story that has never been told. This has never been told, no. Your mother saved your life.

Yeah, she saved my life because I was choking on a peanut butter ball. And you've waited almost 14 years to tell us that your mother's... I've got other stuff to talk about. She gave you life and then saved your life. Yeah. You should really be like, where'd you bring that woman? I should be, but there's plenty of other stuff that I haven't mentioned. Now can I ask a question now because I always thought Apple Jacks were like Cheerios because

it has apples in it. I thought it was healthy. No, it doesn't have apples in it. It has cinnamon and sugar in it. I don't know why they call them apple jacks. I don't think there's anything to do with apple. Oh, really? Okay. Yeah.

I was always like, no, that's not for cereal for me. No, no, Cheerios is the one that has no sugar and no other crap in it, but it tastes dry and gross. That's the thing about Magic Spoon. It's like lightly sugared, so it doesn't taste disgusting. It tastes good. I thought there was no sugar.

Here's their sugar. Did I say no sugar? Did I say no sugar, didn't I? Oh, yeah, all right. It's good. There was no sugar. Did I say no sugar? I didn't say no sugar, did I? It has just the right amount of sugar. The exact right amount of sugar. You couldn't have no sugar with what I'm looking at right here. You got your variety pack, four flavors are cocoa, fruity, frosted and peanut butter. This pack has zero, I might be wrong,

zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and four to five grams of net carbs, 140 calories of serving. It's high protein, has zero, has no sugar. I was wrong. Zero grams of sugar, keto friendly. Good, there you go Tom. You're on keto, you fat fuck. Gluten free, grain free, soy free.

And my favorite flavor is the fruity. Yeah. Is that like the original fruity? Gold baron, I think so, yeah. Oh, that's gotta be good. I got my complimentary delivery of Magic Spoon. And I thought it was delicious, but every single person I gave it to,

cause I can't eat all that cereal, I gave it out to people in my family They were like, where do I get this cereal at? Great value magic We're gonna need your help. Yeah. We're in a little legal mind feeling. So go to magicspoon.com slash T-E-S-D to grab a variety pack and try it today and be sure to use the promo code T-E-S-D. Check out to save $5 off your order.

And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product, it's backed with 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll refund your money. No questions asked. Remember, start the new year off right with a delicious bowl of high protein cereal at magic spoon.com. Yeah, magic spoon.com slash TESD and use code TESD to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon for sponsoring this episode. for sponsoring this episode. All right. Have you ever gotten nervous like when you're, when, like in law school, when you were doing your pretend criminal stuff?

Sure, yeah, like the first few times you actually go into a court. Cause you got a bunch of like real people watching you, right? Oh yeah, something, yeah. Yeah, for sure you get nervous. There's no doubt about it. But after you do anything over and over and over again, it becomes more routine and you don't,

it doesn't really affect you anymore. Like I was nervous when I came in here and sat down, you know? Yeah, I noticed. Did you? Yeah. He plays it cool. He does. Yeah. It's cool guy.

I'm not a hair out of place. I know your hair, man. Jesus. I thank you. This Joe DeRosa, another thing, pretend Italian. I just found that out recently. Egyptian, I think he is Egyptian. Yeah.

Yeah. Mm hmm. Doesn't have a nice head of hair like this, though. Dude, I don't remember. We can't release those space monkeys episodes without me listening to him, I don't remember, we can't release those Space Monkeys episodes without me listening to them. I don't remember 80% of the shows that we set on stage.

That last night, I don't fucking, I barely remember getting on stage. The last night, yeah, Q showed up like a half hour late. Yeah, got late, I got him back. Yeah, yeah. DeRosa was like, how you gotta be late for your own show? I was like, dude, trust me.

I was like, this will play into everything perfectly. Yeah, it was about 20 minutes late. Yeah. Um, but, uh, what the fuck we were talking about. Yeah. So we did the show and it event like the last 15 minutes was basically descended into a drunk love fest with, uh, who was, it was me, you, tone, jiggy, and Rosa, all these guys who have met each other in the past and

have known each other forever, but I was just, I fucking love him. You always loved him though. I mean dying. You were getting some zingers and it was good. As much as I recall. You lived in Chicago for four years? For almost six, I think years. Yeah, how long has law school?

All over. I lived in, when I first moved there and I lived near Greek town, then the loop, then Lincoln Park, then River North, I mean I lived all over. What was your bar? What was like when you go back to Chicago, like I gotta go back to this place in Egypt? Yeah, the bar that I would always start my night at was this place called Jake's Bar. Still there? Still, as far as I know, still there.

They allowed dogs, which means there's no food It's the darkest bar in Chicago. That's what I always say and it's a goal Jake one Jake's bar Jake's bar and that would be in just north of Lincoln Park Jax pub It was called Jake's bar when I was there it maybe have changed to Jake's but I haven't been there in Six six in a lot of Jake's pub. Okay. All right.

So that's where you would start. You know, you in the, you in the boys. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. That's it. Oh shit. Yeah.

Look at this guy. No part of an Irish type bar. Chicago. Yeah. Used to play like, you know, like Lamb of God, then like Frank Sinatra, then like Jimi Hendrix. So there was no rhyme or reason to it. Oh no one was the last time you were there.

It's like about six years ago. Holy shit bro you gotta get back then. I know. Come on. Maybe you can have like a tell me you gave me up there. I would love that. Love to. Yeah.

People like ants could bring you their their law problems. Like you can sit in the bar and like. Or a drink you know. Yeah he's got the mojo to become the next Jimmy the hair guy in TSD town? Whoa. Come on. He could be I wouldn't even say he's a Jimmy the hair guy is a unique individual.

We can get a tattoo. I wouldn't even say he's a Jim. Jimmy the hair guy is a unique individual. We can get a tattoo. Yeah. I would consider. I don't have any tattoos. Of Jimmy the hair guy? You know, tattoo of Jimmy.

The next guy's got to get a tattoo of you. How about that? And on and on. Shave my head. Tattooed Jimmy the hair guy and I can make a row of him. I think he's got to be, that when they do that TSD, the top 10 of the month, I think John the lawyer is going to be number one.

Oh, I don't know. From my experience, generally first appearances, even second appearances of people do not go well from like a reception standpoint. Who would you say as an example? Jimmy the hair guy. His first one didn't. of people do not go well from like a reception standpoint. Who would you say as an example of? Jimmy the Hare guy. His first one didn't. Oh, he was not beloved.

But he was not beloved. Get him, definitely was not beloved. Well, he was holding us hostage. Yeah, when he had us against the wall. Fucking raised the price. That's actually, this is part of my... But you're coming in with a lot yeah but it's too well put together to be a jimmy the hairy guy the people reason people that's a weird vibe though if he's if he's crazy man if he's a nutcase you know under this shell

i'm walking that's even that's even none of your tsc house hasn't seen something guys I'm not even a lawyer. Tell him Steve, Dave.