Tell Em Steve-Dave - #623: The Power of Three

Episode Date: January 26, 2025

Bry, Walt & Q delve into the world of the paranormal with T.O.M.  The hilarity of farting is examined....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, just a few quick notes before we begin the show. We have a couple of auctions up right now on eBay for some merch that 100% of the proceeds are going to help an aunt. Some of the items up there are signed like the TSD memorabilia book, the TSD tool kit. We have some rare hats like the very first TSD in a flash, a baseball cap, trucker cap. There's one monopoly set up there as well signed by TSD including Sunday. I also put a link in every auction to help the ant with his GoFundMe, but I'm not sure if eBay allows that. So if you don't see a link, it's because that's against eBay policy. And if you just search on eBay, TESD charity Canadian
Starting point is 00:00:43 auction. That's where you'll be able to see all nine items. And finally, I just want to TESD Charity Canadian Auction. That's where you'll be able to see all nine items. And finally, I just want to reach out to see if there are any listeners who might have a connection to a print shop. I'm developing something I'm really excited about. It's a comic book themed game show for the Patreon and I need oversized comic book covers amongst other comic book related things and staples just won't print what I need due to copyrights. So I'm hoping I can find a listener to help me achieve my vision and if you have access to a print shop or
Starting point is 00:01:18 that could help me out, hit me up at KMEWES2. That's KMUSE2, at gmail.com. Also, if there are any listeners who are in the fields of reviewing jobs for efficiency or evaluations, work performance reviews, if you'd like to be on the show, please email me at KMUSE2, that's KMEWES2, at gmail.com. And I can maybe explain a little better what I'm looking for, email me at KMuse2, that's K-M-E-W-E-S-2 at gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And I can maybe explain a little better what I'm looking for, but I'm looking for somebody who, it's hard to put in words, but just evaluates employees, evaluates jobs and gives companies like feedback on how to make it more efficient. So thank you and let's get started. This week's episode. The power of the reaper. This week's episode. The Power Three. Hello and welcome to Tell'em Steve Dave presents Overkill.
Starting point is 00:03:03 We love these don't we Walton? Yes. Love the Overkills. Yes. It's been a while since the Overkill maestro has graced us with his presence. T-O-M for short. The Q's here. Q loves it. And yeah, we got Tom, T.O.M. Hello, boys. Overkill maestro. Great to be here. Beloved, Tom is. You say that, but I don't think that's true.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Buy some. Couple. Were you, I know that politically, I know which way you lean. How did you feel about Trump getting TikTok back for everybody? This is where we're going. Actually, you know what, with that, I'm actually pretty happy. I was, well, you know what, I can't say that because Sunday without Trump, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the
Starting point is 00:03:33 night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the
Starting point is 00:03:41 night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of the night, I was in the middle of going. Uh, actually, you know, with that, I'm actually pretty happy. I was, uh, well, you know what? I can't say that because Sunday without TikTok was the most productive day I had in like two years. Really? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:53 I wonder what they're taking you for a TikTok guy. Oh, you know what? It's a lot of recipes, a lot of like different things. And without them, like by like nine 15, I had done two loads of laundry, emptied the dishwasher, food prep for the week. Kids had breakfast. I had breakfast. Everything was done. What man is being fucking preoccupied by fucking recipe TikTok videos? He's not watching TikTok recipes. Oh yeah. It's a little torqueorkan action, I think. Oh, you think some Torkan on TikTok?
Starting point is 00:04:26 Yeah. I mean, there is some, yeah, but I would say predominantly recipes. Yeah. I felt that must have been very hard for Democrats, liberals, you know, to reconcile with is like because it's a big liberal sort of platform. TikTok is. A lot of people like to use it to express their political beliefs and shit. Okay.
Starting point is 00:04:48 It's not just recipes. It's not just recipes. Are you sure? Are you sure? I don't know if I've ever seen a recipe on there. I've been on there a couple times. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever seen a recipe.
Starting point is 00:04:56 Okay. But I did feel bad for some, like normally this is the kind of thing where I would do would be like that Seanan Freud where you'd be like, oh good, everybody's upset. You'd fucking punch a baby. What's wrong? TikTok went down. But then I started thinking of people I know that actually make money off it and have businesses. Like Meryl, Troy's wife, has a big TikTok following and presence there and she uses it for her business. So I kind of- Could she just go to a different platform though?
Starting point is 00:05:20 She could, but it's like once you've amassed, especially some of these people who have millions of followers- Yeah, but aren't we once you've amassed, especially some of these people who have millions of followers. But aren't we putting our national security at risk so we can just go to a different fucking platform? Are we? Because Timo's still around and they steal all your credit card information. What's that? Timo? Sheen too, right?
Starting point is 00:05:39 I think Sheen does too. Yeah, Timo 100%. You will get your credit card information stolen. What does Tmoo do? Tmoo makes low quality, high amounts of crappy products. Okay. Yeah, but that's not a- Like anything you can imagine. Okay. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's not a content platform though. Like they're still-
Starting point is 00:05:58 But it's your data, it's your credit card information, and it's going outweir and they know it. Okay. Yeah, let's shut it down if it's going out where and they know okay I can yeah, let's shut it down if it's a criminal website, but We're bringing back and I don't know anything about take I've never been on it. But if it's causing Us to give away valuable secrets to China very valuable I don't understand why China and I agree choice wife needs a platform But can't you go to YouTube or some other platform rather than put our security at risk?
Starting point is 00:06:29 If TikTok was gone, they would all have no choice. But if it put everything at risk, why did it come back then? I don't know. That's a good question. Why did it come back? I don't know. Trump somehow intervened and stepped in and got it back within a matter of hours. I was watching people melt the fuck down on YouTube, man, like crying.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Like, this is a stab at our free speech. This is constitutional, they're calling it. Oh boy. It is. But yeah, I mean, there are other platforms. Like, you have Snapchat, you have Instagram, but you have Facebook. I don't understand the dire need to keep this one if it really was what they said it was, unless they're lying about it.
Starting point is 00:07:09 This is where we need the kids. Unless they were lying about it. We need the kids to come in and tell us what. A lot of times, sure they were. Is it the short form and the algorithm? The algorithm has a lot to do with it. YouTube doesn't give you that kind of algorithm that TikTok does, where you're thinking, how many TikTok videos are you going through in a 10- minute span? A ton. So we kind of like.
Starting point is 00:07:27 I was going to say zero. Yeah. No most people. Me and Q have zero. 180 million people disagree with that. Well. But they're productive, I'm sure. I'm not here to shit on anybody's favorite platform, but I mean, it seems like if China is like, I don't even know what
Starting point is 00:07:47 information they can get off of it. Like what is, what information is China? Our best twerking fucking. We got to share that with the world, man. I'd like to see some Chinese girls twerking. There's a fuck ton of fake like UFOs, fake drone being chased by fighter jets. There's all that kind of stuff on TikTok too. Yeah. Yeah. The only time I go to it is if Troy sends me something and it happens to be on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:08:17 On TikTok. Then I'll go, but otherwise, yeah, I'm too old. Maybe an American platform would have filled that void. Well, that's what they were saying. They were going to sell it to an American company. And then now it's like, I think half ownership has to be by an American company, which I don't know if that's for oversight or like how that affects. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Cause like stealing the information. Four of the five people on the like board of directors are American. So I don't know how much more American you can get when four to five of them are already American. I guess it's owned wholly by that bite dancer or whatever bit dance, you know. Yeah, bite dance. Well, who cares about TikTok? Let's get into some scary stuff. All right. Jumping right in. All right.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Jumping right in. All right. So I have first for you, has anyone ever heard of the Kappa? Kappa K-A-P-P-A? I hope not. Sorority something? Kappa Delta. It is not.
Starting point is 00:09:27 It is a sometimes maleficent creature from Japanese folklore, described as a small reptilian humanoid with web hands and feet and a turtle-like shell. Its skin is typically slimy and green, and it has three anuses that allow it to release an extraordinary amount of gas. But the, uh, most of the time it does simple things. It looks up, uh, ladies kimonos. Oh, upskirts. Yes. Oh, we got a cancel. We got a cancel.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Kappa Kappa, whatever his name is. Yeah. He also likes to sumo wrestle people. He drags them into the water and sumo wrestles them. How big would this creature be then? Uh, like Jimmy size, like Jimmy, like four foot tall-ish. But what it's mostly known- That's a big advantage when you're trying to get up skirts.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I bet you're being niffled. Oh, I bet. Oh yeah. I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm thinking a lot of times he does it from like under the water. So he's just sort of, as they come close to the water, he's looking up for it.
Starting point is 00:10:23 But the big thing it does is it extracts the shurikadomo, a mythical ball said to contain a person's soul. And how does he suck it out? Through their anus. Pete Slauson Wow. Pete Slauson So he's got three anuses. Jared Slauson He has three anuses. Pete Slauson He goes after your anus. Jared Slauson Yes, and sucks your soul through your anus. Pete Slauson All right, we're kind of looking at a picture of them.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Jared Slauson Yeah, so that- Pete Slauson We're kind of looking at a picture of them. Pete Slauson Yeah, so that is a- Jared Slauson Is that the red boots on? Pete Slauson No, that is a picture of Kappas having sex under the water. It's a strange little picture. Pete Slauson Oh, look at them go. Pete Slauson That's kind of a frog. Wait a second. So, is that two guys on one, two Kappas on one lady? Pete Slauson That's what it appears to be, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Jared Slauson It's more than one Kappa, they're a race. Pete Slauson Yeah. Jared Slauson Oh, they're like little gargoyles. Pete Slauson Yes. Jared Slauson Well, they're like little gargoyles Well, they're pretty big gargoyles if you look at the size of the lady So I imagine you did some research on this, right? Yes. All right Well, but I guarantee you whatever weird question you have. I probably don't have to be where it's good It's a question that's on everyone's fucking tip of their tongue listening. Yes, do coppers twerk why?
Starting point is 00:11:21 Why do they have three anuses Oh Oh, to release gas faster. Like they like to fart a lot and the amount needed, they needed three anuses. Are they assholes right on top of each other? Are they located at different parts of the body? They are right next to each other. One, two, three. Kind of a waste then. Well, I mean, I didn't create the Kappa. Yeah, right. Look, there's a picture of Get'em get them brought up. Repelling with- Defense against the Kappa. Oh, you fart in their face? Yeah, so you fart in their face and it repels them from sucking your soul through your anus. But you're like, you're opening it up to them. Like, what if you, what if you open it up and you don't have the gas to back it up?
Starting point is 00:11:57 I guess your soul's going away then. Oh boy. And this, what country is this from? Japanese. Uh, Japan. So this, they're, they're so into these weird fucking anime porn shit like this. Tentacle porn, all that weird stuff. Yeah, they're a weird country, man. Yeah, they like, they have like, um, what are those machines, like, uh, vending
Starting point is 00:12:18 machines with like pink girls panties in them and stuff. I have heard that. I don't, I don't know. Uh, I mean, I don't know how true it is. Wonder what that costs you, runs you when you're walking by. A pair of girls panties? Yeah. Less than 30 or more. I don't know why the number in my head was 50. 50?
Starting point is 00:12:32 Seems fair. That's how much you'd be willing to pay. Well, it depends on the girl. The problem with that is if I don't know the girl, then what am I doing? What's the point? What if you get a busted chick? I don't want her panties. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:40 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know, I don't want to, if I don't know the girl, then what am I doing? What's the point? What if you get a busted chick? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:12:48 Like I don't want her panties. What if it comes with a little bio? Okay, well yeah. Your little picture. All right. This is Kamiko. Yeah, this is Kamiko. She's worn this while bike riding.
Starting point is 00:13:01 I probably still, you know, I would be worried about Kamiko a little bit. Oh wow, look at that. Yeah, I would be worried about Kamiko a little bit. Oh wow. Look at that. Yeah. I don't get that. She had a steady diet of roughage. The day before she wore these pants, the day before she wore these panties. So there's a lot of aroma.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah. For you, be cute for that 50 you just dropped. 50 bucks, I could put that in a cup of hot water, make a tea out of it. That'd be nice. Yeah. So that's- So it'd be roughly 150 yen then if it was 50 bucks. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:33 It's $3.22. Right. Wow. So Brian, I don't know, do you partake in the anal ingus that you need to concern yourself with that Mary Beth may be sucking? She may fart in my face. No, suck your soul out. Oh, that happened a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:13:47 I'm not concerned about that. I don't know who did it. Somebody was back there. Yeah. Took the soul. Now, when is the last time one of these creatures has been seen in recent time or is this something like ancient- No, it's an ancient one. Feudal Japan.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Correct. Not anything recent that we really have to worry about. I mean, that anyone's admitting. I don't really know. And it said they're an endangered or possibly extinct species. One of Japan's treasures is gone. Could be. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And they look like little gameras with the little shell and shit. Yeah. The little like frog turtle like creatures. Yes. But then, so they drag you underwater to do this? So they, cause it looks like they're underwater having sex with this leg. It's sort of separate. So they do drag people underwater.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Normally it's for like sumo wrestling. They, they tend to do the, uh, grabbing the, uh, the, uh, Shinkadooro, uh, ball through your ass on land. Rapist in a half shell. I mean, it does look like little, little ninja turtles. Don't they? That last picture of the statues. Yeah. There's a lot of different takes on them that I don't.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Right. It looks like Michelangelo and Leonardo. Yeah. What are they wearing on their heads? They don't want to eat into pizza. Pizza ass. So Q, what's your defense against that? You were standing by a river, you dropped your pants, one starts coming close to you, latches on, what are you doing? I would fart, I mean I guess I would just blast.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Can you fart on command? I can. Really? I can, I have that ability to fart. I remember growing up there was a kid that could like swallow air and fart on demand. Oh yeah? Wow, ran through a system that fast. Wow. Yeah. No, I feel pretty safe about it. I could buy a nice one out. How do you pull that off, being able to do that on demand? It's just there's an interior muscle that I can squeeze and get one out if needed.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Has it ever been, has it gone south? You're like, oh, fuck. No, that muscle also- them in as well. So I can lock them in. So it's also good to not blast one out if necessary. I'm great on planes. You sit next to me on a plane, you're not getting the stink. Now I guess I can protect against Kappas as well. I don't have that. I don't have that ability. To what? To keep it in? To keep, no. It's coming, keep it in? To keep note. Yeah. It's coming. It's coming.
Starting point is 00:16:07 No to on command. No, I don't have that either. No. So you're just going to have to fight one off, I guess. I would just fucking curb stomp that little fucker. Yeah. They are pretty small. And do they only go after women or do they go after guys too?
Starting point is 00:16:18 It goes after both. Yeah. Yeah. Wear a protector bottle. I guess so. Man, now I'm worried about one of those things like wearing a wig and makeup to try and fool me. Oh, like gremlins too? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Like I'd love to eat your butt, Brian. And then suddenly my soul's gone. It was dangerous. And it comes, your soul, it comes encased in a sphere like ball, huh? Yes. A little ball called a shurikadoma. Shurikadoma. Yes, a mythical ball said to contain a person's soul.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Where's that ball? So why would that ball be in your butt, though? That's what I was just wondering. Of all the orifices you could take it out of, why? It's warm, it's something you'd protect, right? I mean, you wouldn't- It's out of the way back there.'s something you'd protect right? I mean you wouldn't you sound away back there Yeah, let people in your mouth What what?
Starting point is 00:17:29 I mean, you'd let like mouth to mouth contact very easily, but you wouldn't necessarily let mouth to butt contact as easily as that, correct? Yeah, that's probably it. It's probably your safest orifice you got. It's a prison pocket. Yeah. Yeah. But hard to get at. Yeah, that's how you protect your soul.
Starting point is 00:17:47 In Japan. That guy literally, literally in that drawing, they look like turtles for real. Like they have turtle shells. And Moe Howard too. They have like a Moe Howard haircut. Yeah. They got like the monk thing going on. It kind of looks like Tom. The nose. It'd be an interesting Halloween costume. What are you?
Starting point is 00:18:07 I'm a capo. You know, we do. You can't tell by the three assholes. Or the fact that I'm sucking your butt trying to get your soul. Dad do you think this was an era when the butt wasn't as taboo as it is in 2025? Is it that taboo now? Oh yeah. Oh, I think so.
Starting point is 00:18:28 They're probably more open. Are you dropping this conversation at work? No, not me. No, no, no. I'm saying that I would feel better then it's probably more taboo. I think now people are pretty open to it. To what?
Starting point is 00:18:40 To butt stuff. I don't think it's this taboo now. Do you do butt stuff? I do not, no. Yeah, I didn't think so. Yeah. I don't think it's this taboo now. Do you do butt stuff? I do not It looks like his ass is on fire yeah pulling out intestines through his ass. If you had to extract your soul, you can only pick one person who you're going into like, I need you to get my soul out. Like out of my asshole?
Starting point is 00:19:14 Because there's- Oh, that's where- Oh no. You told us that's where it is. Like poison, like suck out a snake's poison. In TES detail? There's a demon. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:23 There's a demon coming. We gotta go Father Lance. Father Lance, that's a good choice. That is a good coming. We've got to go Father Lance. Father Lance, that's a good choice. That is a good choice. Father Lance, I know this is going to sound weird. I'm probably going to get him. Really? Yeah, I'm dealing over a man of the cloth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:38 With the lack of teeth, the lack of suction he must have because of the lack of the front teeth. Listen, I've seen Get-Em-Clean-A-Bowl in like five seconds. If I need this done quickly, I don't know what Father Lance's skills are. I'm sure if I need Get-Em-To-Do-It, I've seen him go with a pulled pork bowl. He's getting it done real quick. I mean. So in this instance, your asshole's the pink, the pork bowl? Yes. That's correct. Yes. The pulled pork bowl. Yes. I mean, so in this instance your assholes the pink
Starting point is 00:20:11 That would annoy me if that was going on in the office wall I don't want anyone fumbling back there doesn't know what they're doing. I want an expert Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I don't know if I'm getting the guy I going to. Everything I've seen him do and everything I've asked him to do, he does half-assed. Right. So like half your soul is gone and you're like some fucking... Well, I got a quarter of the ball out. That's good enough, isn't it? I did send you that performance review.
Starting point is 00:20:44 You could do another episode. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. In another episode, we have sheets for performance reviews for Get'Em. Oh, very good. So we can see what he's been doing. Yeah. Excellent, excellent. See, you're wearing your copper sleeve.
Starting point is 00:20:55 And you didn't put a mic up after I even, did you? Okay. You got your sleeve on. Is that because of the Dr. D's recommendation or? Yeah. Yeah. Dr. D's a big hit. A great episode.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Oh yeah, people like her. Oh my God. People really like her. Yeah, very, very well received. Oh, very good. Well, she was just lovely. She was excellent. Yeah. She was excellent.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Any other questions about Kappas before we move on? I'm pretty covered on them. Yeah, that was exhaustive. All right. They look fucked up though. Like they look, in this picture, it looks threatening. I'm pretty covered on them. Yeah. That was exhaustive. All right. They look fucked up though. Like they look, in this picture, it looks threatening. This is the way I want them to look.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Right. Yeah. Yeah. They're like turtles. I actually, I do have something. Oh. I want to ask, I want to ask the guys, um, what do you think fuels this? This person, the very first person who came up with the cap.
Starting point is 00:21:45 But what do you think? Did he get caught? Beaten ass? Did he, did he have an animal eating his ass? And he, um, and like what happened that he came up with this outlandish story to cover something. Yes. You don't think it just started as like a Japanese fart joke that just got out of hand?
Starting point is 00:22:05 Where they were like sitting around fishing and they're like, you know, it'd be funny if that fucking turtle came out and like you farted in its face and then it just went on from there? I'd like to think though that not since man walked out of the fucking primordial ooze that farts have been comical. Why would you assume that? Of course they have been comical. Why would you assume that? Of course they have been. Because it's so fucking goofish and sophomoric. Lowbrow.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Like there's nothing more unfunny than a fart, in my opinion. That's insane. I stand by that. That's crazy. You don't think fart jokes are funny? The two most unfunny things on the planet are fucking clowns and fucking farts.
Starting point is 00:22:45 How are farts unfunny? Farts are funny. It's just not funny. I've never- I think time and place. Yeah, yeah. They got to be deployed correctly, but like sure. So do you think someone who can fart on command is not funny? No. No. How you made it this far we don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I can't really fart on command. I just wish I could. No, I guarantee. To me, a fart joke transcends almost anything because you don't want it to, it's universal. Everybody experiences it. I've never. Farted? No, I've never heard a female fart in my entire life. I've never been in a room where a female has let loose, let one rip. Even from another room, if it's like a boom, a sonic boom type thing. Wow. But they do. What?
Starting point is 00:23:28 Sonic boom? Yeah, they're in the bathroom. Sonic boom. They're blowing it up, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like echoes in the toilet. Never heard that. Never heard it.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Wow. Yeah, I've never actually heard that either, but I have heard girls fart though, yeah. Yeah, but they do. They do. A legitimate fart? Yeah, like a full on. Because they're like, oh, I have heard girls fart though. Yeah. Yeah, but they do. They do. A legitimate fart? Yeah, like a full on-
Starting point is 00:23:50 Because of too much beans or whatever or something. Well, whatever. Yeah. No, what I mean is like a surf in like the dark ages farted in front of his friends and his friends were like, oh, what'd you eat last night? I just think it's like, it binds us all, fart humor. I think it, across the ages, across... There must've been kings who were entertained by it, like jesters and shit. Oh, for sure. What's a stout guy consume?
Starting point is 00:24:16 Yeah, pull it by finger. Yeah, like they all, pharaohs laughed at a good fart joke, the poorest human ever, cavemen. I hope to live to an age where fart jokes aren't funny anymore. I just find them so lame. I really do. Since the dawn of time, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:35 I really think we're advancing. Yeah. And we're getting smarter. Oh boy. TikTok's making everybody smarter. Is it? I, I just want to surround myself with people who don't laugh at fart jokes. I just do.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Yeah, but depending on the fart joke, like what if it was a funny fart joke? I've yet to hear one. Well, everybody's afraid to say it in front of you. I just revealed this now. Don't say that. Have you ever heard get him, cracker rat? I don't think I have. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:08 Wow. Geez. All right. I certainly wouldn't laugh. I'd be annoyed. You'd be annoyed? Yeah. I'd be like, why didn't you get the fuck out of here and do that? Why don't you have the decency to go into the bathroom, you fucking- My wife is like that with burp. Animal? I don't know why. Yeah. Like if I'm drinking some soda and I have a big burp, you know animal. My wife is like that with burp. I don't know why. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:25:25 Yeah, like if I'm drinking some soda and I have a big burp, you know, she'll like it. So now I do it on purpose. Of course. She fucked up. She should have never let me know. But why isn't a burp just as funny as a fart? Can be. Burp could be as funny as a fart.
Starting point is 00:25:40 It's true. We were sitting here one time and Gideon was in the middle of saying something and you just went, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And she caught it. It wasn't funny. I was mortified. I have never burped in my life. Shut up. This can't be. Shut up. I feel it's like your sandwich thing, but never burped. You would need to get checked out. Yeah, I actually do. It's like a paralyzed thing in your larynx that I don't burp.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Yeah. No gag reflex either. I've never burped in my life. Yeah. No, I don't believe it. Do you believe this, Q? It seems unlikely to me, but I don't know why. That should have been in one through three, you fucking dope.
Starting point is 00:26:32 When are you doing that? We're doing a tournament this year. Oh, okay. I guarantee you're fucking forgetting, so it'll be fine. I'm not going to forget that. Nobody's going to forget that. Yeah, no. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah. Did you ask your mom like when you were little? Every baby gets burped, right? Yeah, she said no, I didn't bur life. Really? Yeah. Did you ask your mom like when you were little and every baby gets burped, right? Yeah, she said no, I didn't burp. No, like never burp. Yeah. So you had to go early on to the doctor to find out why gas doesn't affect you, right? Why you have no gas?
Starting point is 00:26:55 No, I mean, I fart. I just don't burp. Yeah, it's the it's the weirdest thing. Drink soda, nothing happens. If I lay on my left side and like open my mouth, like this like weird like creek comes out. No, cannot burp. Wow. Yeah. It's weird. And what did the doctor say is, but a paralyzed...
Starting point is 00:27:12 It's something, it's a, it's a paralyzation in your like larynx. How'd that happen? It's like a muscle. Some people just have it. This is what he has, no burp syndrome. Yeah. Retro gate, retrograde, Crisco Faryie. Okay. I can't read that word Get like a bowtie shot, but there is no chance on this earth like what's the benefit I get to burp you stick This fucking guy don't talk for four months
Starting point is 00:27:48 and half of the bucks on the camera. So you're telling me that all your guests that you store have to come out in one spot. Yes. And your wife still got married today. Yes. She still, did you tell her before you got married that you had this syndrome? Well, I've been with my wife 20 years, so no I don't.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Did you have to tell her like you know why you never heard me burp at it? I don't think I really thought about it for, like, the longest time. Like, the longest time I'd ever, like, thought about, like, hey, I don't burp. Until, like, one day, like, everyone was burping, and they're like, you burp, I was like, I can't. They're like, well, that's weird, I was like, yeah, I guess it is weird. Never really thought about the fact that I just couldn't do it. Yeah. And how long did you, did you have glasses too as a kid? fact that I just couldn't do it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And how long did you have, did you have glasses too as a kid? No, I did not have glasses as a kid. Now it says you're supposed to have difficulty vomiting or a fear of it, do you? I don't have a fear of it. I do have difficulty, I don't vomit very often. I have a fear of vomiting.
Starting point is 00:28:37 I could rip a fucking burp though. Ask the yard lady. Yeah, like gurgling noises. Look at the fourth one. Gurgling noises from the neck and chest. Yeah, if I lay on my left-hand side, like open my mouth, it's like … Aaron Ross Powell Do you tend to not lay on your left side so your – so your missus doesn't hear this weird gurgling noise?
Starting point is 00:28:54 Aaron Ross Powell No, she knows like – she'll be like, roll over. Yeah. Trevor Burrus You're gurgling again. Aaron Ross Powell Yeah. Aaron Ross Powell Weirdly. Aaron Ross Powell It's not a joke. It's not a joke. Roll over. I want to know if that's the pipes or not. We gotta call a plumber. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:08 So for you, I can't imagine burping is a humorous. It's not, no. No, it's the opposite. Yeah, it's like, I get really jealous. Yeah. Do you enjoy a fart joke? Yeah, yeah, I think it's pretty universal. I agree with that.
Starting point is 00:29:23 I considered you so fucking intelligent too. But that makes it low-brow? Up until this exact moment. Absolutely. I had so much respect for you. Listen, in the right context, a fart joke can be funny. Yeah, I don't think every fart joke is funny. Yeah, not every.
Starting point is 00:29:38 If this guy lets one go, no, it's not going to be funny. That's no joke. No, we're leaving. Especially if you're not. I know some people will, if they get into a car together, somebody will fart and it will be like – Jim Norton is one of these guys purposely. Jim Florentine, another one, will purposely fart to almost make your eyes tear. You have to roll down the windows.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Yeah, so you have to roll down the windows. Yeah, I don't find that funny. I don't disgust that. I don't either. Is it because you're a super smeller? You have such sensitive nose to it. the windows. Yeah, I don't find that funny. Yeah, I don't either. That's disgusting. I don't either. Is it because you're like a super smeller? Is that like you have such sensitive nose to it? Like you fear?
Starting point is 00:30:08 No, I'm just a fucking human being, bro. I just consider other people's feelings and don't feel that I want to subject them to the fucking odors that come out of my body. It doesn't necessarily have to be about the odors. Sometimes it's just the sound. Yeah, like if you're in the supermarket and you see like an old woman bent down to pick up like a can of beans from the bottom shelf, you don't go, and make your fucking friends laugh.
Starting point is 00:30:35 You're smiling. You're smiling because I can't believe that a fucking guy who has fucking hailed as one of the fucking greatest comedians in the last 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking IJ? Well, come on, man. The most successful comedy show is now telling on Mike that you think it's funny if an old
Starting point is 00:30:56 lady is bending over and somebody goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hysterical. Leslie Nielsen was known to carry it. Especially if she hears it. You know what? I will say this too. If I do fart at the house around people, I'll immediately blame Sage. She's the most disgusting person on earth. Like, da, da, and argue about it.
Starting point is 00:31:16 To me, that's funny. If you're watching a movie and a character bends over, you don't go, and make everyone laugh? I never laughed. Never laughed. Now, I've had two Frenchies and make everybody laugh? I never laughed. Never laughed. Wow. Now, I've had two Frenchies and they tend to do that a lot. They will pass gas. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Never once thought it was funny or made a joke about it. I try to not try to acknowledge it. I just try to like, you know, just ignore it. They need to work on their timing. That's what the problem is. I'm telling you, next time you're watching a movie or a TV show and a character bends over and you're watching it with your wife, just go, it'll kill. It'll kill.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I highly doubt it that she's going to find that funny. She's going to think I'm the biggest fucking redneck. You can't tell me to do that. What happened in your life that you're this anti-file? I just don't think it's funny. I've never thought it was funny. I've never been – I just think it's rude. I think it's a lack of consideration for people around you.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Yeah. What about in a movie or something, movie or TV show? What? Will you be given a- To utilize to make a quick joke? Yeah, you don't have to smell it or anything. Have you seen Blazing Saddles? Never saw it.
Starting point is 00:32:34 Oh, okay. That's good jokes, good fart jokes in there. Yeah, whole scene about it. Or if a spy was hiding behind a computer console and an enemy lair or hiding out in the fate of the worlds and then he farts and they figure out that he's there. That's comedy gold. Yeah, that's some good stuff. It's like Austin Powers shit. Austin Powers is very successful. Very successful movie.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Yeah, baby. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's the funniest line in the whole fucking movie. Yeah, baby. Could you work a really good fart joke into the next season? And a small person being called mini me. Yeah you work a really good fart joke into the next season? And a small person being called Mini-Me. Yep. I hate a comedy. Wow, now you're angry at Austin Powers.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Who knows where this is going to go? And a fat bastard. Yeah, you don't like that either? I've never been more – I don't want to say ashamed, but I've never been more – I didn't really want to know Sunday when he was fucking so into Austin Powers that he was collecting everything Austin Powers. Oh really? Yeah I just was so like embarrassed for him. I got the rare variant where it says fat bastard instead of fat guy. Yes! Yes!
Starting point is 00:33:40 That's true. That's true yeah. He brought both versions. Where are those tonight? Does he still have them? He sold that shit at a loss on eBay when his life went to hell. What's that go for on eBay right now when his life went to hell? Oh. All right. A fat bastard is going on eBay right now for $35. That's not too bad.
Starting point is 00:34:08 It's tumbled a lot. Yeah. At its height, it was way more than that. It's been listed for four years. Look, sorry, I farted. That was an actual lot. Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:34:16 I know they were successful, but they were a mystery to me is why they were that successful. Oh, they were fun. I like the first one a lot. The first one's great. When's the last time you watched it? You know what? I rewatched it a couple years ago. And it held up. Didn't love it as much as I did. I won't say that. Yeah. I think the sequels probably got a little too into themselves,
Starting point is 00:34:41 but the first one really was really funny. Okay. All right. Where's fat guy? Fat man. Fat man. Is that him? Yeah. Fat man. Who, who do you imagine that?
Starting point is 00:34:51 This is an era before all the shit went nuts. That they had to change it. The fat man. Fat shaming and shit. Yeah. Well, I don't think every fat, every fart joke is funny, but I do think that it's a, it's a potent comedy tool in the right hands. Hey, and who, I'm not saying that it doesn't land, because it certainly does, but I just
Starting point is 00:35:14 would like to surround myself with people who don't find it that funny. It's way too late for that. I don't know where you're going. I don't know. Yeah, there's a whole whoopee cushion industry built around. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, the segment of the population will find that funny, but. So years back, you're going through the back of comics and like they're selling whoopee
Starting point is 00:35:35 cushions. Yes. You're just like, cross it out. I'm not interested in those. What, does your teacher sit on a whoopee cushion? No. No. Wow. Not. Wow.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Not for me. All right. You ready for number two? Hold on. Let me read something. No, we've run into this whole farting thing. Ready to optimize your nutrition this year? Factor Q. A chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy.
Starting point is 00:36:01 They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can feel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active busy lifestyle. Lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with Factor Keto meals based on randomized controlled clinical trial with Factor Keto. Results will vary depending on diet and exercise. Forty options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. It's easy to pick meals, tailor to your goals.
Starting point is 00:36:25 Choose from preferences like calorie smart, protein plus or keto. Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfast, grab and go snacks and more add-ons. Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust in convenience that can't be beat. What's a… does Factor… do you have any new goals this year Q? Are you on a weight training program? Are you eating right?
Starting point is 00:36:49 Sure. Yeah. Yeah. The factors for you. Why not? Eat smart with factor. Get started at factor meals.com slash T E S D 50 off and use code T E S D 50 off to get 50% off your first box plus
Starting point is 00:37:05 free shipping. That's code TESD 50 off at factor meals dot com slash TESD 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Okay. That's one that's done. Prize picks. Prize picks is back? Prize picks is back.
Starting point is 00:37:23 With only like two weeks of the football scene. Oh, I guess they, they take, they take all sports right, not just football. Yeah, I think so. Uh, prize picks is the best place to get real money sports action with over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings. Prize picks has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all. You just pick more or less or at least on at least two players for a shot to win up a thousand times your cash.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Since we're talking about sports, I told that thought, Brian. I want to ask you, I have a, I, this weekend, my, uh, my lions lost and I had put, I've been finding myself in a depressed state because of it. Oh boy. I want to ask you, how did you handle it? Like this past baseball season when both your teams didn't win, how did you come
Starting point is 00:38:08 out of it, how did you get yourself out of this? I'm still not out of it. Really? Yeah, look at me. I, he's not even glowing about factor. Really? I was hoping that you could help me get me out of my funk. There's absolutely nothing worse in this world than when your sports team loses.
Starting point is 00:38:25 There's only one way to go. This is not what I expected. It's the fucking worst, dude. There's no way to get past it, I don't think. You just got to hold on until a victory comes your way. Did you see in the Lions stands they were stomping that guy's head because I guess he was like from the opposing team and he was giving the Lions fans shit. I did not see it.
Starting point is 00:38:41 And then they turned on him. Yeah, I saw the video. It's bad news. It's bad news. I kind of went offline about it after the game. I just kind of sat in a dark empty room for two days. That ain't going to work. There's room over here on the Eagles bandwagon you want to hop on. Eagles. That's the worst team to go watch live.
Starting point is 00:39:03 There's nothing worse than a fucking self-hating New Jersey and rooting for a fucking Philadelphia theme. I'll tell you what, like, I mean, we're watching this guy get stomped at the Lions game. Wow. Why you would go to another stadium with your, like, I know you like to represent and stuff, but it seems like suicide almost. Well, the NFL has a major problem with fan violence and they are not addressing it. Those guys, um, was it an Eagles game?
Starting point is 00:39:30 Yeah. Recently the guy screaming at the lady calling it cotton stuff. The Eagles are notoriously the worst, but like that is not fair because every single NFL city deals with this and the NFL is all about all player safety, player safety. Well, you better fucking worry about the safety of the fucking guys who are paying the money that they're the really the fucking bosses.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Without those fans, you ain't got shit and you're allowing them to get abused because you're not willing to fucking bring in more cops and security. Yeah, that stomping was pretty bad. That should never happen. And now Tom is an Eagles fan and that story broke about that New Jersey guy, another self-hating New Jersey guy from New Brunswick who got caught using the C word at the game.
Starting point is 00:40:17 I read a statement by him. He said that the video only shows part of it. Right. And that a whole bunch of shit led up to it. I talked to Tom about it because he was vehemently fucking defending the guy. No, no. You fucking liar. That is not like.
Starting point is 00:40:32 No. There's always another side to the story, Walt. No, no. The story is the ladies. I said he was 100% wrong. I said he deserved everything I said, I don't know if he deserved to get fired from his job for something that happened outside of it. That's what I did. That's what he did for a living, right?
Starting point is 00:40:50 What's that? You see what he did for a living? I think it was like a PR thing, right? He worked for a DEI company. Yeah, yeah, like to me like. He didn't know not to fuck it. He didn't know not to call her a cunt. Shocking.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah, didn't defend the man. You were crying. Crocodile tears for that guy. You can tell that through the text messaging. Right here. You were crying in that guy's defense. Like he should have lost his job. He should have lost his livelihood over a word.
Starting point is 00:41:14 That's not what I said. I do tend to agree with it though. Like just like, it's unbelievable that like these war parties that go out, like he gets into a fight with this though. It's unbelievable that these war parties that go out, he gets into a fight with this lady. They're yelling back and forth. Instead of just letting it go, it's like, let's hunt him down and ruin his entire life because he called the lady some name. That doesn't seem to talk to me. I have no sympathy. Really?
Starting point is 00:41:40 I have no sympathy. Then did you want time to call the— The Yarnlady a cunt? The police officer. What? Wasn't she given a ticket? It was something to do with you feeding the meters. Oh, I remember this.
Starting point is 00:41:58 I permanently was being harassed though by a fucking. You mean like that man was being harassed by the Green Bay Packer fan? She wasn't being harassed though by a fucking, I would like the, Oh, you mean like that man was being harassed by the Green Bay Packer fan? No, she wasn't being harassed. He wasn't, she wasn't harassing him. What harassing him is wearing the other team's colors? No, no, no. Come on, bro. There's more to that story. Come on, bro, man.
Starting point is 00:42:17 More to that story. You gotta fucking. He said it. That's some, that's some bad karma right there. No, I agree. No. That's some bad karma. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I, I a hundred percent agree. Yeah. He was totally in the wrong right there. No, I agree. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I 100% agree.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Yeah, he was totally in the wrong with it. I just don't know if the crossing back of the line from – How do you face your family after that? Would you go home and go, honey? I got bad news. Did you see the video? I was fired today. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:42:39 What? Why? Well – Well, there was a Green Bay Packer fan at the game. Can you believe that? She was ribbing me. She was wearing the other team's jacket. I had to call her a cunt.
Starting point is 00:42:52 What choice did I have? It's a moral imperative. But you can do that these days. You can like cut half the video. Like, you don't know what led up to it. And that's, it's true. There could be that he could have been incited, but I got a feeling he drops that word on more casually. If you're screaming that in
Starting point is 00:43:14 public, I agree. If that's in your vocabulary, it's in your vocabulary. Agreed. But Q, I was really coming here today that you were going to pick me up and tell me, give me some sort of sage-like advice like you always do. Like how do I get out of this funk? Because it's probably never going to happen in my lifetime. You're dealing with winter, Q, bro. I can barely fucking lift my head off the fucking pillow in the morning to start my day. I can't take it anymore.
Starting point is 00:43:39 So you're telling me I got to wait till fucking spring? Yeah. I got nothing, man. I got fucking nothing. I got nothing. I can't take it anymore. You gotta wait till Q West comes back. I'm fucking dying here.
Starting point is 00:43:53 You could call from Q West. Yeah, he'll be re-energized and charged. I'll help you out with the fucking sun, but dude, it's bleak, man. It's bleak. I can't take it anymore. Have you tried like one of those headdances? There's no point trying. Get them. There's no point trying.
Starting point is 00:44:10 I need sun and warmth and the pool. I really was like, you know what will make me better? A little B12. No, I got nothing. I would suggest maybe go watch Austin Powers and laugh a little bit. Should I just root for the winning team? Just wait till there's a determined winner of the Super Bowl and be like, that's my team. I mean, why not?
Starting point is 00:44:35 I mean, there are no rules. Will it make you feel better? If it'll make you feel better, I'd say do it. But how hollow is that though? But none of it matters anyway. Nothing matters. We're all going to be dead and that's the end of that. I mean, enjoy life.
Starting point is 00:44:43 That's a cue I like to use. But how hollow is that though? But none of it matters anyway. Like nothing matters. We're all going to be dead and that's the end of that. I mean enjoy life. That's a cue I like to hear. It's like literally none of it matters. Nothing could matter less than sports outcomes Walt. So you know just, just you know. Not what you expected huh?
Starting point is 00:45:02 No I was really hoping getting myself psyched up for a real pick me up. I got nothing. It's fucking 430 and it's pitch black out. I can't fucking take it, man. It's really getting to me. Okay. I've lost the ability to make eye contact with people. Prize picks. Right? That's it. Yes. It's fucking sad. people, prize picks. It's fucking sad.
Starting point is 00:45:28 It's playoff time and it's now or never. Don't miss out on the last few weeks of football action with prize picks, the best place to win cash while watching the playoffs. You can now win up to a thousand times your money on prize picks. Prize picks now offers mastercard for quick and easy deposits into your account this sports season. So sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5. You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed.
Starting point is 00:45:56 PrizePix also offers weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday. Each Tuesday PrizePix discounts select player projections up to 25% to provide even more value for your lineups. So download the app today and use code TESD to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, download the app today and use code TESD50 to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup, prize picks, run your game. All right. So nice. One more, but we'll
Starting point is 00:46:29 Mysterion. If you please. All right. Number two, this is a more recent one. We're not going to feudal Japan with this one. Have you heard of the giant of Kandahar? Yeah, I texted it to you. When you're like, Hey, could you use this for overkill?
Starting point is 00:46:50 And then you throw me under the bus and I'm like, yeah, that's a good idea. Let me use it. OK, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm just pissy because of my lines. So in 2002, a group of Army Rangers were supposed to clear out a cave when a 15 foot tall, six fingered, red haired giant impaled one of their comrades.
Starting point is 00:47:13 It took 30 seconds of sustained shooting to take it down. And supposedly it is, they thought it might be a niflum. Do you know what a niflum is though? Yes, an angel. Close. Well, it's got a niflum. Do you know what a niflum is though? Yes, an angel. Close. Well, it's got no sexual organs. No, three anus. No, it doesn't. It doesn't have any sexual organs.
Starting point is 00:47:33 How do you know that's the case? Have you investigated one? Because I read a book about niferums. Oh, I don't think that's the case. You read a whole book about it? You read a whole book about it, yeah. Dad, how many chapters would the voters of the genitalia? How many pages were illustrated? It's like comic books and shit, bro.
Starting point is 00:47:50 The whole thing was illustrated. I don't read real books. I ain't got time for that shit. Gotta worry about the lungs. So they shot this thing? Yes. Where's its bones? So supposedly they reported it to their person in
Starting point is 00:48:07 charge and they took the bones out and we don't know what happened to them afterwards. Okay. So they think it might've been the last niflum, which is a, uh, the offspring of an angel, uh, male angel and a woman. So the regular old woman. Yes. Aren't you impressed that I knew how something to do an angel's own? Yes. I am very impressed by that. I don't know about the sexual. But angels don't have any genitalia you're saying. No, angels do. He claims that niflums don't. What's the difference between angel and niflum? They're the offspring. They're like demis. Sarge L18 might be an offspring. Sarge L18 has no penis.
Starting point is 00:48:46 No, no, no, he does. But his father may not have. But then how was he born if his father? Or his mother may not have. But where'd his father stick the penis? Where did he come out of? It's all done through cosmic. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Cosmic ways. It's not done grunting like two fucking baboons and shit. A sober guy comes in on a surfboard. Yeah. All right. Okay. I can get behind this. So there could be more created. There may not be none now, but an angel may come down and bang some girl and then we got another one of these. Potentially, yes, because Afghanistan- Could we get an American one? I would like an American giant of Kandahar. It's hard to say because Afghanistan is one of the earliest
Starting point is 00:49:29 civilizations ever. And that they assumed that at some point, if angels came down, they would be one of the groups of people that they would have fed. But the angels could come down to Staten Island right now and bang some lucky Staten Island girl. And then we have a giant of Staten Island. Yeah, they could. I don't know. I think the angels made the right choice staying out of Staten Island. Going to Afghanistan. See, nobody found out about it. You know, Staten Island, they can be able to keep that secret. 60% of Staten Island is parkland. You know, there's a lot of giant.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Places to hide. Any caves? Yeah, there's caves, there's hills lot of places to hide. Any caves? Yeah, there's caves, there's hills, there's swamps. Now the giant was dead when they found it? No, no, no. It attacked them. They were supposed to clear out a cave and immediately-
Starting point is 00:50:15 They were looking for Al-Qaeda? Yes, and they were supposed to clear out a cave. You're lying. You don't even know. I mean, I don't know the exact mission. I assume that was what they're there, 2002. Didn't they just fucking fight these things in the latest in the Anna Jones game, maybe Look up again. I'm seeing Indiana Jones in the great circle
Starting point is 00:50:32 I think I just tussled with these motherfuckers with a Kanda Haryan giant Yeah, Tony Todd played him was like the last thing he did before he died Maybe now, why would that be kept a secret you think from? The public are we ready for that? Are we ready for that? Are we ready for that? If you had definitive proof. I was ready from a new bowl when he burst onto the scene in the 80s and played for the Washington Bullets.
Starting point is 00:50:54 And I didn't fucking lose my shit and fucking, you know, think that the world was going to end because there was an eight foot tall man. Yeah. But there's only seven feet. How many fingers did he have though? Five. Correct. You're looking at 16. That's true. The sixth finger seven fingers that he had though. Yes. Five. Correct. You're looking at six fingers going to be the difference.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Might be. I think there's a lot of kids who are born with six fingers. If you really, if you are they 16, they get them amputated. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Why would they get that amputated? That sounds awesome.
Starting point is 00:51:16 It's a non-working finger. Oh, it's like just vest, vest, as you'll call them. Whatever. Yeah. When I, when I was young, Pam used to work in the nursery and she'll remember one time she brought home a test tube with fluid in it and there was a little finger in it. That's got to be fucking. Oh, that's the fucking problem.
Starting point is 00:51:31 There's so many levels. I don't think they can get her now, but yeah, it was pretty cool at the time. Was there a fight over it you think at the hospital? I think so, yeah. Wow. It was a little test tube with a little blue cap on it and like, you could just see the little tiny finger floating around. Wow, that is some, how old do you think you were?
Starting point is 00:51:55 Oh, probably like eighth grade. Pretty young. Metal. Yeah. That's fucking metal. Dewey, that's not that young. 14? And you were like, mom, you could lose your job over this. What are you doing? No.
Starting point is 00:52:08 I was like, that's awesome. No. It didn't occur to me. Those things don't occur to me. This is the 70s. I don't know if you were right, 70s. This would have been early 80s. How are you thinking it doesn't occur to you though? That she's going to lose her job? Yeah. I don't know. As an adult, you think that when you were a kid, you thought exactly everything
Starting point is 00:52:24 the same. Yeah, I did. I don't think that's true. Dwight and like four- I remember you as a kid, you think that when you were a kid, you thought exactly everything the same. Yeah, I did. I don't think that's true. I remember you as a kid, man. I remember you. I remember you laughing your balls off when I farted one time. That's bullshit. That's right, I'm here to say it.
Starting point is 00:52:36 If my mom brought home a severed finger and was like parading it around showing everybody, I'd be like, that is really weird, mom. No, she only gave it to me. She didn't parade it around, show everybody. She gave it to me. Only to you. Yep. She didn't show the other kids.
Starting point is 00:52:48 No, no, only to me. Do you think she still remembers? Like if you called her up right now. She might. How do you forget that? I mean, really. Yeah, she might remember. Any other body parts she broke?
Starting point is 00:52:58 Yeah, I was gonna say maybe she remembers the others. No, unfortunately not, just a little finger. Did you guys keep it or what? Yeah, I don't remember what happened to it. I don't remember what ever happened to it. She probably flush to it. No, it was, it was in my, it was in my room for a long time. And then like I moved and it probably just got lost in the shuffle somewhere.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Some little kid's finger. Could I have another thing? If you found out she uses it as a, like, like Edgar and her using it in the bedroom as a toy, would that really fuck your world up? Probably. I mean, I would be like that's small. How tight are you? No, she used it on Edgar. Oh, there you go. Oh, Lord Almighty. She's like, I'm going to suck the soul right out of your ass.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Oh, my God. Jesus. So, do you think the world is ready for... Yes, I do. ... to actually find out angels are real and that they can have do. That's a theory that it's a nephrum. But why couldn't we just say, hey, we found a 15-foot tall man? Because we've never found one before. Right, but we've come close. How close? Manutebol? That's half that size. No, the tallest man that ever lived
Starting point is 00:54:02 is not that far off from fucking 15. Oh, I disagree. Yeah, get him, pull it up. Let's get that one. Something like Robert Wadlow or something. Yeah, that poor guy. That's eight foot 11 inches. That's nowhere, it's only half.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Okay, now take the tallest man on earth, double him, give him an extra finger. You know he's jacked. And have him coming out of a cave. Robert Wadlow, then he could barely walk and shit like that, but an angel offspring has got to be like strong and ready to go. It stabbed an army ranger. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:31 But this might just be a mutant dude who had a pituitary gland, you know, a tumor. I mean, what year was it? Hey, 2002. Oh, so it was 2002. So it's not like a really long time ago. No. This was probably some fucking Arabian couple had this freakish thing.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Throwing a cave. And just like discarded it. So you're saying you don't believe in this. I believe it's possible that there's a 15 foot tall man. I don't believe it's from an angel's like having sex with a human. Because you don't believe in angels. No, absolutely. Angels will watch over us.
Starting point is 00:55:04 So then why can't you don't believe in angels. No, absolutely. And angels will watch over us. So then why can't you don't think they get like- They don't have lusts in their heart. No angels? No. The fallen ones. Well, they're in hell. What about Satan?
Starting point is 00:55:18 Yeah, they're in hell though. No. That's not an angel. They walk among us. That's an archangel. No pussy in heaven, you're saying. I believe her, but beyond that, just like there's no fart jokes in heaven, I don't believe anybody's getting busy.
Starting point is 00:55:29 I think that's a huge yes. Oh, okay. All right. So what the fuck is something up there? The spiritual thing. Listening to music and shit. What's the point of listening to music if it ain't kind of fucking- Looking at waterfalls.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I can't even turn on the radio without, without one to bang. Getting a chubby. Like, so you're telling me, Tom, it's confirmed that there's a 15 foot tall man. You're, you're, what is shaking in your world that you're like, well, that love came over, bro. We've never had one. If we see a man double the largest man on earth and he has six fingers and he comes out of a cave. But that six finger may not work.
Starting point is 00:56:13 If he grabbed a spear and stabbed an army ranger guy with it, I'm assuming all six work. Stabbed him and then took 30 seconds of sustained shooting to kill him. I'm going to assume that's the offspring of an angel. Were they good shots? Yes. They were good shots. Well, I don't know. Again, we're in overkill territory, so.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Yeah, but all honesty, no bullshit. Would you really be shaken to the core if you found out there's a 15-foot-tall person? Yes. Why would you not be? It's just a freaking nature. That's not a freaking nature. That's not a freaking nature. I mean, I would, like if I was a soldier and I stumbled across him in a cave in Candleheart,
Starting point is 00:56:49 then I would freak out. Yeah. But if I had just heard it, I wouldn't be shaking. Okay. Conversely, would you be shaking to the core if you found out there was a one foot tall person? No. No.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Great point, Gatum. Great point. Because I can take him. That's correct. Yeah. I'm not shaking to the core by it. Yeah. Look at this guy. But if. Because I can take them. That's great. Yeah. I'm not shaking to the core by it. Yeah. Look at this guy.
Starting point is 00:57:08 But if there's a six-inch man. Can you zoom in a bit? Can you get him out of that thing? That's shaking me to the core. A six-inch man? Why? Well, because weren't you shaking to the core by one of those little dolls that were like six inches big?
Starting point is 00:57:18 The Zooli things? The fetish doll? Yeah. I was also seven. He was seven years old. Oh, so it wouldn't freak you out now if you saw a Zulie come to life in your house. I believe there are men who are shorter than a foot. I don't even know the answer to that.
Starting point is 00:57:33 There's a woman. There's definitely a woman. I've seen her. Oh, that little girl who hangs out with a real tall lady? Yeah. Yeah, I think she's like two or three feet tall, not six inches tall. There she is. How tall is that woman? Two foot. Two foot. tall, not six inches tall. There she is. How tall is that one?
Starting point is 00:57:45 Two foot. Two foot. Yeah, not six inches. Oh, this poor kid. Two foot? Mm-hmm. Yeah, give or take a couple feet. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Yeah, so double that. That's not shaking. Brian, is that shaking you to your core? That she's two feet tall? No, the 16 foot tall. I would be surprised. Yeah, sure. Are you going to reassess things in your life, possiblyibly something that big that you have no idea ever existed.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Bro. Oh, fucking way. Is he reassessing shit? It's pretty striking. You know what it takes me to reassess? I mean, it would, I could, I think that that a lot of people would freak out. I think you would get people who believe that like you. That it was spawned from an angel. Yeah. I think that there would be some, uh, uh, I think, I think that would start a lot of problems. I do. Really? I do. If people were like, well, fucking angels are real, which means my religion's right, which means we're going to war. I think that's generally
Starting point is 00:58:40 how these things go. But would you be afraid if the, let's say the, let's say the 15 foot tall man, then it turned out they did an autopsy. It's like, Oh fuck. He's got one of those fucking tumors in his head that causes like jaws. James Kiel. Sure. And it was just a tumor that was not addressed. Then you were like, Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:59:00 And he might maybe, I wouldn't freak out. I wouldn't want to fight that guy. But I would assume with you that young Q would also kick his ass. Everybody's like, they're all standing around this giant, like all smiling as if he's not a threat. Is he tied up? Is that what's in his hands? It's an AI image. Yeah. That's not real. Yeah, that was from 1923.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Who are the people? Just people? Yeah, I don't have those names. I hate AI. Makes me believe in giants. Were you the tallest guy in high school? Uh, or was it Mark London? Mark London. Yeah. Mark London was like six, six. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:49 His brother was even a taller, six, seven. Yeah. Nobody was fucking losing their shit. No, nobody was like, no, no, no. It was losing it for like, you know, six, seven inches taller than everyone else, not, not almost triple that. And six fingers. And six fingers.
Starting point is 01:00:03 And coming out of a cave. And he's violent, the Canada heart Giant? Yes, he attacked immediately. But I mean, that could be his home, so it could have been self-defense. Like how do you know they didn't throw a flashbang down there and piss them off? Yeah. Might have been justified. If somebody came into my house and just started shooting at me. Threw a flashbang.
Starting point is 01:00:11 How much credence do you actually give this story, in all honesty? Zero. Zero. Yeah. Why? Because you don't believe it's possible for a human being to really do something that is not just a flashbang, but a flashbang. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:21 I mean, I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a goodback. How much credence do you actually give this story? Oh, in all honesty. Zero. Zero. Why? Because you don't believe it's possible for a human being to reach those heights? I don't think it's possible for a human being to reach those heights. No. And I don't believe that an angel banged a woman. No, I don't believe that. But I do believe that like,
Starting point is 01:00:39 like these freakish abnormalities happen on a regular basis. I don't see why it's not impossible to believe a guy could get to that height. I don't think he's coming out of that cave doing anything other than just crawling out because he probably can't even move properly. Like all his joints would be compromised. Not if he's half angel. Well, if he's half angel, yeah, but if he's just a regular giant, like just think about how his heart has to pump blood to everything. Like a giraffe.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Yeah. So I go with half angel. That's the only way it works. Anything else on the Kandahar giant? So no credence to it? I put this in the realm of probably not true. Yeah. Wanted to be true.
Starting point is 01:01:28 I wish we lived in a world where- But I mean, we have seen really tall big people though. Yeah, half that size. Yeah. That's a big difference. And they're miserable. Yeah, definitely. They're always miserable.
Starting point is 01:01:39 Especially unless they're in the NBA or something. Yeah. They're happy. They're under no fucking thoughts that like their fucking angels spawned. No. They're under no illusions that their existence is blessed. Do you want to do your thing? Yeah, you got three stories?
Starting point is 01:01:56 Yes, I got one more. Okay, so I'll just read this real fast. You know who's back, boys? Who's back? Meandis. Oh yeah. Meandis back for 2025. At some point in our illustrious
Starting point is 01:02:06 love lives, we've all asked our partner the same age old question that guys have probably been asking for thousands of years. Am I big? And the lady lies to them. Is this really the copy? Yep. While Meundies doesn't know the actual answer to that or if your partner gave you the actual truth, yeah, see, that's what I mean. This Valentine's day, they can help you get the, they can help you look huge with their contoured pouch and ball caddy. Every Valentine's day needs a Valentine's night and meonies is your perfect first try to get the mood right.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Yeah, but as soon as they come off though. Yeah, I know. That's the, well, you got to start turning lights out. Put the bag on. Well, they're still gonna feel it. Pull like a boys don't cry, like how she like used a dildo instead of snuck it in there.
Starting point is 01:02:48 Let's see, choose from tons of awesome Valentine's day prints and styles and match undies with your special someone for an extra holiday treat. Are there people who really are like swayed by that copy? Like, Oh man, I'm really self-conscious about my size, my girth. I got to get on my girth. I got to get on me undies? I bet you there are. Wow.
Starting point is 01:03:08 I bet you there's people that like anything to help. What was the code again? Anything to help. But who are you impressing? Who are you impressing though? I mean, what's the point? It's your self-esteem. Anything helps at this point. Their style for everyone from all black classics to fun expressive prints, Meyondes has a look for everyone.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Try our new sexy Valentine's Day prints like electric hearts or lovebirds. Both they come in sizes extra small to 4XL guaranteeing a flattering cut for every body. Versatile loungewear, Meyondes isn't just about underwear. Explore the lounge collection featuring joggers, hoodies, onesies, and more. Unmatched comfort, Meyondiz signature fabric is as soft as a warm hug from your favorite sweater. When you got that vasectomy, did it have any unforeseen effects on things you didn't like? Oh wow, well I didn't expect that.
Starting point is 01:03:57 I shrunk. No, it didn't shrink. No? No, no, no unforeseen. You did have to, I did have to wear special underwear for like a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:04:08 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no medical underwear? No, no, no. They were like big regular ones. They were like boxer briefs. So they were okay. They weren't like the ones that you'd wear. Like if you're at the office and you bent over to pick up a box of files and someone saw you. You see? You see?
Starting point is 01:04:39 You got it. You got it. End of show, end it. I want to hear my last one. You see? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Fucking medical on the way out of a sex me
Starting point is 01:05:10 So I didn't have to worry about that, okay, you know you didn't go into into work No, I was home for a couple days after that. Yeah, you can't really walk like ice your balls, right? Yeah, really you couldn't sit it. You couldn't sit at your on your ass Yeah, are you telling me you just don't sit at a fucking monitor all day? I do, it's exactly what I did, but I couldn't do that for three days. Oh, of course, alright. You needed that fucking... You needed that comp, right? I had to limit my walking. You needed that comp that I had to pay for.
Starting point is 01:05:36 What? I took PTO, I wasn't on that good. This man, I believe... This man has been bragging. Apparently they got him a new mini fridge for his office. Oh my god. And how he completely stocks it himself. I am bragging.
Starting point is 01:05:51 Yeah. You're on my fucking dime. Why am I on your dime? Watching movies. What do your taxes do? What do you think I was on disability? I had only a Thursday, I took Thursday and Friday off. My own time. But yes, I do wish me undies would have sent me a ball carrier.
Starting point is 01:06:10 You got paid for that, huh? Yes, I got paid for it. Took my time. It's like a hand time attorney. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. But yes, I do wish me undies would have sent me a ball carrier. You got paid for that, huh?
Starting point is 01:06:25 Just like I paid for it. Took my time. It's like a hand time paternity leave. I did take paternity leave when I had my second kid. Of course you did. Yeah. Yeah. Get all you can get.
Starting point is 01:06:39 How long? How long? Get all you can get. How long? Six or seven weeks. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. What was it back to work the same day? Yep, gave birth that morning. I was fucking back at the stash fucking bagging up comics Fucking cradle those precious fucking nuts while I'm fucking busting my ass. Busting yours.
Starting point is 01:07:07 The good news is that work ethic and dedication really paid off for you, Walt. You know what? I still can look myself in the mirror and be like, I didn't take no time off. An honest day's work was put in even with maternity leave. No paternity leave back then? No way. If you imagine. No fucking way. I just fucking ripped that fucking charity checkup and tried to give it to me. Carol, can I have the maternity leave?
Starting point is 01:07:44 The fucking cand their giant office Take 30 shots take it down All right, let me stick days you get what's that? Let me stick days you get a lot how many I don't know like 25 What's that? How many sick days you get? A lot. How many? I don't know, like 25? Motherfuck.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Holy shit. That's insane. Really? That is insane. 25 a year? Yeah. That's assuming somebody's going to be really sick. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:14 That's like two days a month. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're ready for the... I love them. They're responsibly sourced. They use sustainably sourced materials and work with partners that
Starting point is 01:08:26 care for the workers. Must be nice. Problem free philosophy. I must be. I was fucking sick. I'm still fucking watching videos, clearing them for Patreon, fucking designing fucking merchandise while I'm fucking clawing my lungs out. Lugging snow globes.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Fuck yeah. Moving shit in the garage. Doing a Christmas episode with a catheter on. Yeah, yeah motherfucker! Yeah! You're just, you're just, you're just holstering his argument again. As I put two fucking catheters in. It's an extra long episode. Did you do a ping pod?
Starting point is 01:08:51 Christmas episode. Did you do a ping pod with the catheter? Yeah! And I still beat all your asses. Fucking... The inauguration's got you all working. I'm the lions, bro. I'm fucking angry.
Starting point is 01:09:11 Oh, this is the lions? Yeah. You gotta take it out on somebody. I would have been promised he would come with some kind of advice. He would have calmed him down. I'm learning right now. Not happy with your first pair of undies? It's on MeUndies.
Starting point is 01:09:24 So this Valentine's Day, good things come in big packages at me undies. Score huge site-wide savings at meundies.com slash TESD enter code promo code TESD that's meundies.com slash TESD code TESD for huge site-wide savings. Meundies comfort from the outside in. All right. It was a little diversion from beyond these. A little bit. Yeah, a little bit.
Starting point is 01:09:53 You don't feel any guilt like you're fucking taking fucking money for just sitting on your ass doing nothing? No. The company's offering it. Why would he not take it? And I took the time off if we're talking about the paternity I took to take my child my wife who had surgery her like organs moved off the table To help you know care for my newborn child
Starting point is 01:10:19 You work at home. I know you like you just couldn't do your work at home. No, no, of course Couldn't find the time, right? I was too busy watching YouTube. TikTok. He's on TikTok, yeah. How do you see this brand new recipe? No one's working here. I don't know what you're angry about. What are your verses right now? Everything. He was talking shit for the episode started
Starting point is 01:10:49 All right like an eagle span He got me all riled up defending that Eagles fan That is fucking crazy for you to defend that guy is fucking crazy for you to defend that guy. I did not defend him. That is weird. No. Call me young lady. Did not defend him at all.
Starting point is 01:11:07 That's rough. I said 100% wrong. Okay. What, your third overkill story? Would you like to hear the connection between the owner of the Kansas City Chiefs? Oh. Hunt, right? Yes.
Starting point is 01:11:19 Not cunt. No, not cunt. You never say that. You're a hunt. The hunt family. The Kansas City Chiefs. A billion pounds of underground cheese and the JFK
Starting point is 01:11:32 assassination. This has got to be better than that fucking Kandahar story. I don't know. Don't prep it up too much. How big is this underground cheese? Over a billion pounds. Why do they keep it underground? So I'm going to get to that.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Okay. All right. So it turns out that the owner, well, he's dead now, but Lamar Hunt, Kansas City Chiefs, right? Who are poised to win a three-peat. Yes. So interesting things about him. We're going to squirt a little bit. Did you know that he wasn't allowed to buy a team?
Starting point is 01:12:05 So he created with a couple other owners, the AFL. Of course I know that. And he coined the term Super Bowl. Yes. He actually came to it. Why was he not allowed to buy a team? They didn't want to sell. The NFL wasn't interested in expanding.
Starting point is 01:12:18 Yeah, they were very standing back in the early sixties. So he decided he's going to make an alternate league. A couple of years later, they absorbed, became one. And he said, why don't we have these two leagues battle each other in a Super Bowl? So he came up with that term. What he is also known for in the 60s. AC just kicked on.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Yes. No, that's the heat. Oh, he's holding on. That's what they say. It's a bomb. It's 76 in here. 76 degrees? What the fuck? Yeah, it's a saga. Kiddum sends us daily reports of it getting like 80 in here.
Starting point is 01:12:56 All right. All right. So I told him he's got carte blanche to go do whatever needs to be done to get it done. Get another office. Yeah, go ahead. There you go. I'm working on this issue right now. So far, it's going to involve smart thermostats in the back door.
Starting point is 01:13:13 You know, we don't have to leave Airport Plaza to get them. We could find another office here with a window and stay in Airport Plaza. I don't think there's any offices with windows. I don't think so either. Really? No. I've been all around here. I don't see one window. I don't think there are. There might be, but I really don't think there are any. What about the computer guy that left? The computer guy
Starting point is 01:13:30 that left? I mean, we all need windows. Q would be happier. Look at the sun, maybe. All right. There is no sun. So what he's also known for is that years in the 1960s, he created in limestone caves in Missouri. What's called subtropolis and subtropolis is and this is all true. This is 100% true confirmed called subtropolis. Parts of it are owned by least out for Pillsbury Ford and the United States government. So the United States government, yes, there's a picture. One of the answers. It's miles and miles. Um, it looks like a plan of the apes.
Starting point is 01:14:17 So it looks like it looks like a bunker. Yeah. That like the, the president would go to if the nukes are about to fucking go off. Interesting. So we're going to tie up a couple of things with it. One of the things is that the government leases several buildings in it. One of them was used in the 60s to store cheese. During the 60s and 70s and 80s, the price of milk fluctuated up and down due to demand, and they needed to stabilize it.
Starting point is 01:14:47 So the government said, we will buy whatever you can't sell, which made the farmers greedy. And then they started mass producing as much milk as they can, knowing if they couldn't sell it, the government would step in. Like a guy who needs, doesn't need time at work. That's correct. So because of that,
Starting point is 01:15:04 But takes it anyway. So because of that, but takes it anyway. So because of that, I'm entitled. He, uh, the, the government had all this milk, so they turned it into cheese, but very quickly they realized the cheese was going bad. Hence they started giving it away to people as government cheese. So that at one point they had billions and billions of millions of millions of pounds of cheese that they started giving away to people as government cheese. And this kept going and stabilizing and everything else. After a while, eventually most of it did disappear. But for decades, there was just... What do you mean disappear? Like they was giving away or they had to throw it away because it went bad?
Starting point is 01:15:39 A lot of it stabilized. So we still have some storage, like during COVID. They store a certain amount of food in these limestone caves because the temperature doesn't change. It really stays between 60 and 70, low humidity. So it's perfect for storing things. She got an office there. Sounds great in the podcast. No windows.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Yarned to ground. So it's a perfect place to store things. And the government has several buildings. They claim that they store stamps there. They store just paperwork. Stamps? Yes. Why stamps?
Starting point is 01:16:11 Because of the humidity. They don't want the stamps. If the humidity rises too high, the stamps don't have- Are the stamps valuable or are they just stamps you put on a letter? Like stamps you put on a letter prior to them going- They're fucking worthless? Well, they haven't been used yet. They're stamps that will go into production. Forever stamps used yet. There are stamps that will go into production.
Starting point is 01:16:26 Forever stamps. There are stamps that will go into production. And there's cars down there. Can I ask a question about the cheese though? The cheese that's still there, is it almost a 100-year-old cheese? Well, it's, um, no.
Starting point is 01:16:42 Some of it does get used for aging purposes, so yes, a lot of the cheeses is there for that. From the sixties, it was sitting in there. Some of it is. Yes. You're like 60 year old cheese. Yeah. A lot of it gets aged down there specifically because of the age.
Starting point is 01:16:54 She has changed. He's well, some of it does some brands do. Yes. Some of it does. Not every brand of cheese does, but there are lots of areas where the government just owns it that we don't know what they do. So let's back up a little to Lamar Hunt's father, E.L. Hunt, who was the inspiration for J.R. Ewing's character in Dallas. Mm. Who shot J.R.?
Starting point is 01:17:20 Yes. He was a multimillion dollar oil magnate who had very, very conservative and anti Kennedy views. And in fact, it said that the day before Kennedy was assassinated, Lyndon B Johnson, uh, EL hunt and several other millionaires had a meeting. And in that meeting right after it, Lyndon B. Johnson's supposed mistress on her deathbed confessed that at that meeting, she was told that Lyndon B. Johnson said after tomorrow, that bastard Kennedy won't be a problem.
Starting point is 01:17:59 That's not a threat. That's a promise. The next day, dead. Two days later, Jack Ruby. What was Jack Ruby known for? He was a nightclub owner who shot Oswald. Yes. Right before he did that, the day before he was seen at EL Hunt's business.
Starting point is 01:18:16 He was eating a cheeseburger. He was, he claimed that he was dropping off someone for a job interview. But then the next day, Jack Ruby kills Lee Harvey Oswald. So tie that all together. Kennedy gets assassinated. Subtropolis opens. There are lots of areas down there that the government owns and leases that nobody knows. Could they have an alien? It opens. It's open to the public? You can go to certain areas of it. It is not completely closed, but it is miles down that you can't go to. Why is it, why is it, why have I never heard of it if it's like the tourism?
Starting point is 01:18:48 I don't think it's a tourism. It's more of a like a Frank five Franks. Yeah. I don't get them. I don't know if you can look to see if you could take a tour of parts of subtropolis, but it is not like a completely like people can go there, but not to every area. So perfect conditions, 67 degrees, no humidity. You can keep things lasting long time, no spikes of electricity to keep things cool because everything's already cool. What do we got? Biochemicals down there, alien technology, nuclear waste, nuclear waste. Anything could be down there.
Starting point is 01:19:23 I wouldn't put it now, maybe not nuclear waste. Well, that might be be down there. I wouldn't put it. No, maybe not nuclear waste. Well, I don't think those two things are connected, but what do you guys think? What could be down there? Miles and miles of it. Like I said, Ford owns part of it where they put cars down there. There's FedEx truck going to it. Pillsbury owns it. The government stores large quantities of food.
Starting point is 01:19:49 So when the meat packing plants couldn't do anything during COVID, they release parts of that food into the- There's a meat reserve? Yes. There, there's several different reserves of food in case of shutdown, like during COVID. I was going to say, I'm glad they're, I'm glad there's just not cheese, because I don't eat cheese. Yeah, I know. You're screwed.
Starting point is 01:20:07 Because it's moldy. That's good cheese. That's what it's supposed to do. It is? Yeah. It's aged cheese. It's supposed to be moldy? Well, some cheese gets moldy and it's good, like blue cheese. That's kind of a monster. No, it's not cheese.
Starting point is 01:20:18 Monster. So what do you think? What else is down there? I'm sure there's some very valuable shit down there, but I don't believe there's. Oh, what's that? National archives and records. Yeah. They keep like films and stuff. So what happens is the national archives and records are, uh, the office of bureau and management, I believe they keep all their retiree files down there
Starting point is 01:20:41 until they can process them into the computer. And also most of the immigration paperwork for the United States is also down there too, because of the cool temperature, they don't have to worry about the papers disintegrating or anything else. So the government takes, yeah, look, Subtropolis is a comfortable 65 to 70 every day of the year without air conditioner, without anything. That looks pretty awesome. So it is a perfect area to do whatever you need for it. But it's not secretive, which makes you-
Starting point is 01:21:08 No, no, no. So parts of it are open, but the parts of the government have are not open. And the government leases large areas of it. It's not open, but it seems to me like when you get an Area 51 where you step one foot onto their property and you get shot, that seems like shit the government wants to really keep from people where it's like, if they're just sort of like neighbors with pills buried. If they're leasing it, that means the owners of Subtropolis have the keys. Just like here. So the, the, the, the rent, the, that fucking rent lady comes in here unannounced
Starting point is 01:21:42 when you get him sleeping and fucking wakes him up, right? Yeah. Wow. Airport Plaza is a comfortable 70 to 85 degrees. Oh no. It's a comfortable 91 to 94 degrees. But you have to remember, the government though is in cahoots with Lamar Hunt's dad because right around that time in Subtropolis, Kennedy dud, he could be involved with it.
Starting point is 01:22:06 What's your feeling on the JFK? Have you settled on a conspiracy theory yet? I don't really think I have. What about you? What do you think? I thought the mafia might be involved. I think there's a lot of plausible possibilities to who could have been involved. I think he had a lot of enemies. That's the safe answer. He doesn't want to go on the record. I don't know enough to be able to say like … His fucking government's paying his paycheck. Half the fucking time he's supposed to be
Starting point is 01:22:32 working. Why would he go against that? Trump said he's going to authorize all those full transparency. Yeah, all the JFK stuff is going to be available. JFK, RFK, and … I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah. He said that last time too. All the K's. Did he say it last time?
Starting point is 01:22:47 Yep. That fucking bastard. When did he say that? I got to fucking open a newspaper. No, you don't. No, don't worry about it. All right, good enough. So you think, would you like to at least go on a tour?
Starting point is 01:23:01 I would like to visit Subtropolis. Okay. Yeah. Does it smell like tour? I would like to visit Subtropolis. Okay. Yeah. Does it smell like cheese? I don't know. I did not research enough if the whole thing, I don't think it's going to smell like cheese. I don't know. I think it's going to smell more like limestone.
Starting point is 01:23:16 Probably. They got coffee down there? Yeah. I mean, I would definitely like, if I was in the area and I think I drove through Missouri a couple of times, I would have loved to have known about Subtropolis. Yeah, this looks like pretty dope, man. I'd go visit this. If there's anybody out there related to some Subtropolis. I guarantee you there's somebody listening who knows a family member who works at Subtropolis
Starting point is 01:23:40 because there's got to be a lot of people to make that run. Yeah, man. Somebody's got to be connected out there. What a weird thing though for your business like Pillsbury. It's like, a lot of people to make that run. Yeah, man. Somebody's gotta be connected out there. What a weird thing though for your business. Like Pillsbury, it's like, hey, you want to rent out an underground cave? Sure, I guess. It's miles and miles of like a lab ramp down there. So it's not like it's like wide open where you can just like, no, you could definitely hide aliens weapons.
Starting point is 01:24:00 They're not going to do it. No, but that's the best place to hide it. And what, in plain sight? What's the best place to hide it. And what, in plain sight? What's more boring than hiding immigration papers and stamps? Are you really going to go look in there? No, you're going to be like, oh, there's stamps. You have to trust that your neighbors who are the public, Pillsbury and Ford or wherever
Starting point is 01:24:18 else is running it, aren't going to like stumble upon something they shouldn't stumble upon. Well, what if it's like a facade? I can't tell you. We've what if the what if it's like a facade? So tell you we've we've gone into the other offices around here like You go through the front you look and you're like, oh stamps. Okay, cool. I'm not gonna go any further You're not gonna go past the stamps normal people We're like, oh fuck stamps I'd love to play laser tag there man. That looks like a blast roller blade
Starting point is 01:25:01 Yeah, I agree with the guys I think if if you if, if you know, that's what I always said about area 51. I was like, it's area 52. You got to worry about it's like, that's where all the cool shit is. If you know about it, then it's, then it's, then you're falling for it. That's how I feel. It's a shit you'll never know about. So even with the fact that he may have some, this dad may have had some connection to the assassination of the president. Subtropropolis opens this huge underground cave, parts of its own by the government, nothing weird going on down there. Well, it could just be as simple as just like, look, if you wipe out this rabble-rousing
Starting point is 01:25:37 Catholic, we'll sign a deal with you to store our stamps there and you'll get all that money. It could have been, you money. It could be a financial transaction type thing. What kind of stamps? Just regular stamps? Just regular stamps. That's so right. I just can't get over the whole like, why are there stamps down there? If it's too humid out, the stamps would stick. You're talking about these stamps that were just produced before the brand new ship.
Starting point is 01:26:02 Correct. Yeah. Not like stamps that they're just like wasted stamps that found they may actually print the stamps there or sure yeah and store them yeah not use stamps they're just collecting and throwing a pile and I get fucking what's that fuckers name from gold and silver a mark mark from gold and silver to talk about stamps oh yeah she told me you were going to talk about stamps today. I thought we were more interested in the cheese than the stamps, but I missed my audience on that one. Sorry, guys. Yet again. Thank you, Tom, the overkill maestro.
Starting point is 01:26:34 Yeah. Well done. Good stuff. I never heard of any of those before. So that was like- That is his job to enlighten us on things we don't know. Shine a light in corners that are dark. Darkest corners of humanity.
Starting point is 01:26:48 Yeah. We have a lot of corners in our life that are dark. Yeah. You don't want a light shone on them. Well, that's what makes good podcasting, no. Mm-hmm. Tell them to see everybody. Oh, I mean, I just want to make- Zoom. Zoom. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:02 Zoom.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.