Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - 20: Adam Shankman

Episode Date: June 8, 2016

Acclaimed movie producer and director Adam Shankman is best known for his upbeat, family-friendly movies, including "Hairspray," "A Walk to Remember" and "The Pacifier," but behind the scenes, Shankman says he spent years grappling with substance abuse and self-loathing. Growing up in Hollywood, Shankman, who is openly gay, remembers being "an incredibly happy kid." But when he was three years old, he says, his parents set him up with a doctor who was doing a study on sexual identity. Unbeknownst to his parents at the time, Shankman says he was placed in "conversion therapy." When he was a teen, Shankman turned to alcohol and later drugs to quiet the "ugly voice" in his head. In 2012, Shankman says, he entered a "really dark" place and the following year checked himself into a month-long rehab program -- where he discovered meditation. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It kind of blows my mind to consider the fact that we're up to nearly 600 episodes of this podcast, the 10% happier podcast. That's a lot of conversations. I like to think of it as a great compendium of, and I know this is a bit of a grandiose term, but wisdom. The only downside of having this vast library of audio is that it can be hard to know where to start. So we're launching a new feature here, playlists, just like you put together a playlist of your favorite songs.

Back in the day, we used to call those mix tapes. Just like you do that with music, you can do it with podcasts. So if you're looking for episodes about anxiety, we've got a playlist of all of our anxiety episodes. Or if you're looking for how to sleep better, we've got a playlist of all of our anxiety episodes, or if you're looking for how to sleep better, we've got a playlist for that. We've even put together a playlist of some of my personal favorite episodes. That was a hard list to make. Check out our playlists at 10%.com slash playlist. That's 10% all one word spelled out..com slash playlist singular.

Let us know what you think. We're always open to tweaking how we do things and maybe there's a playlist we haven't thought of. Hit me up on Twitter or submit a comment through the website. From ABC, this is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Broadly speaking, we kind of have a mix of guests. On the one hand, we have serious meditation teachers and some of them are really fascinating

and deeply weird and that's cool. The other thing we do is we bring in people who are really interesting in doing fascinating things out in the world who also happen to meditate. I am just obsessed with that connection between success, however you want to define that, and what role meditation can play in that. So our next guest combines these two things, beautifully. His name is Adam Scheckman. He is many, many things in the entertainment world. He's a director. Here are just a few of his films, a walk to remember, bringing down the house, the pacifier, the remake of Harris Brain 2007.

He's also a choreographer. He was a judge, and so you think he can dance on CBS. And he's an author. He's got a new young adult book out, and it's called Girl About Town. We'll be talking about that in a second. And the reason why he's sitting here in front of me right now, he's a meditator.

Yeah. So thank you for coming on, man. Thanks for having me. Really nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I like you already. I like you too. Thank you.

I like you too. I don't like many people. I do like people. You seem pretty happy. You know what? It's like a chronic thing. People, you know, it's funny because I have an enormous amount of darkness in me. I'm a, I've had all sorts of challenges in my life, mostly related. I would, I would

actually say to my sexuality of being gay and, and which when I was young was problematic. And because the culture was so much different than it is now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And even in Hollywood, were you grew up. Yeah, well, I mean, I might as well, okay, so I'll tell you sort of the backstory because this gets into sort of the road that got me into sitting in this chair, basically, and talking about meditating, which was when I was three, I was an incredibly happy kid. I was the singingist, dancingist kid in the world joy, but as I watched a lot of movies they were always on, my mom played a lot of musical soundtracks.

I loved it, but I was gravitating towards the female characters. And I had started like even putting on like my dad's t-shirts and belting them. And I was like, and I loved that I wasn't like Marie on West Side Story. I was a Nita, because I liked her songs, but I mean, it was like the craziest thing. Anyway, at some point I went into some sort of a hysteria when I was a kid, like a little

tantrum of some sort, and I said to my dad, I wanted to be a girl. Now I can tell you right now, because I remember a lot of this period of my life strangely. I remember, I can't remember what I did yesterday, but I can tell you what I did when I was three. What I remember loving about the relationship between men and women is that I saw my father protecting my mother and my uncle's protecting my aunts, and there was this sort of like the way that men cherished the women in my family and held them in such regard and high esteem.

And then the fact that I sort of like the look and the way that dress is moved and all of that, I just liked what that relationship of being cared for and what I saw there. And so obviously I had no kind of sense of sexuality at that point, but I identified with women and my parents were very young and were concerned. And so they met with a doctor who was doing a study And my parents were very young and were concerned.

And so they met with a doctor who was doing a study on sexual identity. And they liked him and he was nice. And so they agreed to put me in this program with him, which was all fine and well. And unbeknownst to them, they accidentally put me into conversion therapy. Whoa. Yeah. Like try to try to not to get to stop you from being, yeah.

Yeah. And to get from that time. Yeah. For then a very long period of time, I was being given by my parents who didn't know it was going on to this man who was basically telling me I was a defective human being. Whoa. I had to lie in order to survive. My parents would leave me.

I would have no friends. I would not, I would spend my life alone, isolated, separate, and rejected, because I was fundamentally defective. So this is a horrible thing to have. It's a terrible thing to have into a little boy. Yeah, and but your mom, if I read correctly, she was a therapist, right?

So she is, but she didn't know what was going on. Okay, but she's, I mean, just the fact that she was a therapist, I'm jumping to the assumption that she was probably open-minded, but she had no idea it was going on. Both my parents were open-minded, but they were, again, they were very young and they wanted to make sure that I was going to be well-adjusted. It wasn't like they didn't want me to be gay.

It was just that they wanted to make sure that I was going to be okay. And their concern wasn't that you were saying you were gay, their concern was you were saying you wanted to be a girl. And I was three years old. Yes. And so they just wanted information. Mm-hmm.

And I do not blame my parents for this. I don't. It was an really unfortunate thing that happened. The issue that happened then, besides a lifelong issue with dealing with an internal voice that is endlessly preaching shame to me because I now take full responsibility for dragging that voice into my adult life. He stopped talking to me at a certain point and I became the voice.

Can I just stop you right there for a second? Sure. Why should you take there for a second? Sure. Why should you take responsibility for dragging that into your adult life? I feel like you have no responsibility for that. It's not your fault at all. That's just my opinion as a guy who just met you and... No, no, no. I feel like that shouldn't be blamed on you.

No, no, no. It's not blamed on me, but there were, you know, certainly later in my life, certainly in my adult life, I had nothing but evidence that I, first of all, everything he said was not true. I ended up coming out. I was universally loved. I was successful. The weird thing has always been for me

in relationship to my work, the thing that sort of ended up me up in that chair, which was all of my fantasy life, and all of that, and all my creation, and all of that, ended up not only not being killed, but became the reason I'm successful, and what I do. So I'm still working on my relationship to my success because anytime anybody congratulates me on anything I win and I get angry at them. It's a very, it's a very straight, I mean, not like overtly angry. I just feel like a sense of like, because shame, because you were taught to hate the part of you that is the wellspring of all success now. Yeah, my creative self. Anyway, all that having been said. So there was a moment at which,

you know, through therapy and whatever, I should have sort of known like, you know, like everything worked out and it's okay. But I really just needed to hold on to that shame. Like it was, it became my, and meshed in my identity. And this is what, and remember, all this is in response to, you seem like a really happy guy. Yeah.

The strange thing is, while as I was getting more successful, more successful, and more successful, I was doing things, everything that I was identified with was about hope and happiness and- Hairspray. Not settling and fighting for yourself and doing the right thing. And yet I had this horrible darkness in me that ended up manifesting itself and a lot of drinking and using and all of that.

And then when I had my first experience with something not going well workwise, I just went down. When we come back, what was the project that sent you over the edge? After this. Hey there listeners! While we take a little break here, I want to tell you about another podcast that I think you'll like. It's called How I Built This, where host Guy Razz talks to founders behind some of the world's biggest and most innovative companies, to learn how they built them from the ground up. Guy has sat down with hundreds of founders behind well-known companies like Headspace,

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You can listen early and add free on the Amazon or Wondery app. The drinking and using. Yeah, how bad did that get and what were you using? Well, here's the thing. I started when I was 15 and never stopped until, oh my god, two and a half years ago, which means it was like 35 years of solid using, I discovered cocaine when I was that age. 15. Yeah, and when I discovered alcohol,

I was able to become social and I was able to not deal with the ugly voice in my head and all that. And then of course later in life, when it turns against you, suddenly it actually ends up turning the corner and it amplifies the voice. So were you drinking and using every day? No, no, no, no. I mean, by the end, certainly by the end,

I was drinking every day. I never was a everyday user. That was, yeah, I was never an everyday user. But what happened with me was alcohol became a gateway, kind of for me to do that. So. Mm-hmm. And what was the project that went pear-shaped

that sent you over the edge? Rock of ages. Rock of ages. Did that not go well? Did that not go well? Or the movie? The movie. I didn't do well.

It didn't do well, and it wasn't, and it was not about something that I understood or particularly like, and I don't want to bash the movie. And you directed this movie? I directed it. But I had a, I had this like really knowing suspicion that what was good about it was that it was like this great fun karaoke play that people really loved, but that it didn't contain

enough substance to ever really be a movie. But everybody around me was telling me, no, it's a movie, it's a movie, it's a movie, and I didn't listen to myself, and I should have, but I didn't, and I made it, and I love everybody who I made it with. I don't have a problem with that, but I have a problem with myself for, well, here's the good news, I'll never do something like that again, where I just absolutely shut myself down and say, like, no, just do it anyway. If I have an instinct about not doing it, I won't do it now. There was just no room for how I felt or saw the world or anything like that in that movie. I pushed some of it in it.

I got some of it in there, but it ended up, so anyway, because it didn't perform, I ended up getting really dark, really dark. Would you put some meat on the bone there? What do you mean by dark? Well, that's when the daily drinking started and a lot of isolating. I just saw myself as such a loser. I was so, my whole identity was shrouded in disappointment. And yet it was something that I thought was coming for a long time. So then I got proven wrong the bad way. And so in the year 2013, you went to rehab.

Yeah, I checked myself. I made a decision one after, you know, it's that weird thing. One morning I woke up and, you know, what looked like, you know, basically a crime scene. And I went, you know, this is terrible. This is really, really terrible. And what did not bother me was the idea of not drinking. What made me uncomfortable was not knowing what was on the other side of it and what was going to suit me and what was going to make me feel okay. And what was going to suit me and what was going to make me feel okay

and what was going to make me be able to manage my stress level and my, you know, the voices and all of that. So, and not like, not like, demented voices, like, I mean, just like the negative critical voices. Yeah, yeah. And, the intercritic. Yeah, and so, but I said, you know what I need to do. I need to understand

what this is all about. There's I've been doing this for so long. I need to understand why because I didn't I also was not one of those like let's have it like I'd go out to dinner with friends and we'd have a drink or like I'm a glass of wine with dinner and then I come home and literally flip on lawn order SVU, like marathon and drink a bottle of vodka, a full bottle of vodka every single night. Whoa. And how are you find my cell?

I was fine. I was fine. I was fine. I used to joke that people are like, are you hung over? I was like, I call it awake. You know, like that. And I was like a great, and my baseline.

It was my baseline. And my people, and my, I absolutely your baseline. It was my baseline. And my people and my, I absolutely was functioning. And my, you know, a lot of people were really surprised when I checked myself in. And I, nothing happened. Nothing big catastrophic happened out in the world. But what happened is I saw a piece of time where I thought I could disappear

and nobody would know the difference, no one would missy. And because work was shut down, it was December. So it's like, you know, Hollywood shuts down in December. So I took care of some obligations. I did a bunch of research. I found a place where I wanted to go that I felt comfortable with. And I checked myself in for a month. And I came out after a month and I've been, you know, happy as a plan ever since.

No relapse. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, I mean, I mean, there's always an urge for a sense of relief. There's always like, oh, like, I got no medicine no more, you know what I mean. And so, but there's never been anything with threatened, it's because I have that very clear, not just memory, but knowledge that I don't, when I drink, I don't want to have a drink and relax, I want to obliterate. And so since that does, that no longer sounds appealing, you know,

well, which is not to say that I haven't had some really challenging times where I've been very uncomfortable since I've been sober. I've been incredibly uncomfortable. I've had some really challenging stuff happen. But I've gotten through it like pretty much sailed through it. Good for you. Yeah, I feel lucky. What did you find that you said you were worried

that there would be nothing to sue you? Have you found things that are soothing? Well, you know, listen, if I want to quiet my head, because I no longer have that critical voice screaming at me, that has largely gone away. The one screaming that your defect is bad and all of that. I don't really, well, for everything. The gay thing again was a gateway to my overall being and self. But, you know, I probably watch a little too much TV because I like to go, I'll tell you what I have a problem with that amps me up and kills me is I'm addicted to the news cycle.

That is a huge problem for me because you want to talk about something that just creates agitation and stress. It's like it's crazy. So I now have to like kind of monitor myself and you know, I live in L.A. And or I live back and forth, but I'm in L.A. most of the time. And I just want to be on those news stations all the time and it's a problem. Like it's a problem. Well, speaking of somebody who works in the news business, I don't think it's a problem.

We need people like you or else I'd be unemployed. I don't blame you. I blame myself. And we can talk through this, but because I think that it's that weird, it's that weird, fascinating, it's that car rack thing. It's like you're just staring at the car rack, and if you stare at it long enough, hopefully you can like wrap your brain around it.

And the truth of the matter is, I can't wrap my brain around any of it. Well, here's what I'd say about that. And I do want to start talking meditation at some point because i knew that become a big part of your life but i i think well i'm obviously a huge fan of the news i've spent the last uh... uh... several decades working in news you have to understand that we don't report on the plane that land safely report on problems and so if you're gonna be

consuming news you're gonna get a view of the universe that is inherently skewed. Yeah, absolutely. So through this process of getting, of becoming sober, you also found meditation. I found meditation and, you know, I want to be very careful about how I say the word prayer, but, you know, I, you know, it's sort of like I have sort of morning ritual and evening ritual where I sort of make sure that I am starting my day with a sense of gratitude and trying to look at everything that is positive and to basically say to myself, I am lucky to be alive. It works.

And you know what, we have a negativity bias. We have these prefrontal courtesies at the front of our brain and they are wired to look out for saber tooth tigers. Nonetheless, we're wired for threat detection and we are not wired for like listing the things that we're grateful for. That when you do it, it feels really good. That explains the tone of the presidential election right now. Is everything, you know, it is very fight or flight, you know, everything.

And it is, and that is the great appeal because it is hitting those buttons in the public that are responding in a fight fighter flight apocalyptic way. And I mean, we are literally being told that the world is on fire. And it's not that pieces of the world are not on fire, but it's not like the whole world. You know what I mean? There's just no sense of progress is meant. I mean, it's I'm telling you, it's a real people, people are angry, but people are telling us to be angry. Also, no one I mean, it's I'm telling you it's a real people are angry. People are angry. But people are telling us to be angry Also, no one's telling us it's gonna be okay They're saying if you don't do what I'm telling you you will die you will you will all die and

It creates fight or flight response So it's and that that creates all that activity inside of you. So tell me about meditation. How did that happen for you? What do you, what kind? Well, it was recommended. As I got sober, it was just sort of recommended as something. Listen, my mom is like a pretty spiritual person and she always recommended that I do it.

And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, there's no way. Which was my reaction to it. To the hooi, you know what I mean? I was like, you gotta be, if I'm not thinking, how am I hoolly, you know what I mean? I was like, you gotta be, if I'm not thinking, how am I actually doing, you know what I mean? It made no sense to me. But what was really softening was it because I knew when I stopped

and just sat alone with myself, what was loud was the critical voice. So, you know, if that's what's going on in your head, it's really hard to, you know, if that's what's going on in your head, it's really hard to, you know, quiet that, especially if you don't know who you are without it. Mm-hmm. So, once I got... when I was... I went to a great rehab where it was really mostly therapy,

lots of group therapy, lots of individual therapy. Once I really dealt with a lot of my critical issues, and that kind of that blockage disintegrated, and I started going like, I'm not that bad a person, I guess. And I started opening up to the concept that I was okay. And it really just dissolved. I mean, like, oh, I'm not that bad a person, I guess. You know, and I started opening up to the concept that I was okay. And it really just dissolved. I mean, it's crazy, but it really dissolved. I suddenly became open to, plus I was also like, I was also willing to do anything that anybody said

to actually feel better. Do you know what I mean? If so, I really was. And it wasn't about that like militant kind of sobriety. Like, if you don't know what I mean? If so, I really was. And it wasn't about that like, militant kind of sobriety. Like, if you don't do what I'm telling you, there was like, there were like, you're here, you might as well try this.

And I was like, well, I'm not as well. I mean, there's no reason not to. And so I started meditating. At the rehab. At the rehab. What kind of meditation meditation they teach you? Or what was the prep? What was she going and like all of that?

So moving. Well, that there was, well, we did everything. I mean, we had, we did a lot of yoga practice. We did a lot of visualization. A lot of visualization. It's a classic technique. Yeah, we did. And when they would have you do visualization,

what were you visualizing? You know, mostly positive, you know, sort of like radiating whatever light that you had in there, like unearthing that and coming out. We also did like, wait, hold on. Crazy, crazy. Have you ever done this thing where you do like a half an hour of fast breathing where you never stop?

All of a sudden? I think it's cold. I can't remember what the time I've done it. I've never done it, but I've heard of it. You literally start to hallucinate, and you go into an alter state. I would have like nervous breakdowns when we would do it. I mean, full sobbing, hysterical, unblocking,

like the craziest thing because the imagery that was going up, when you get that much oxygen going into your brain, it is nuts. And I started just going like, wow, I am a lot more, I'm like a kind person. I actually behave kindly to people, and I'm a really good friend and really good son.

But I just had so much self-loathing and it just started to evaporate while when I was doing these different practices. But what became the most useful for me because I really needed guided meditation because I just felt like I did. It was available, so I might as well. And so I just started downloading apps. And now I still use that. I have just been recommended by all of my friends who do TM,

tell me that I have to start doing TM. And so I just made an appointment with a TM teacher when I get back to Los Angeles, so. I mean, all of this stuff can be incredibly helpful. All of it can be incredibly helpful. And you're talking at the root of the issue for you is the voice in your head. And what you want to do is create a different relationship to that voice. Because you're always going to have a voice, right?

You're always going to have thoughts. And sometimes those thoughts are going to be negative, largely self-referential. And so you just want to have a different relationship to it. And meditation is a really good tool to do that. Well, the other thing that I got really clear with what I, what really became sort of a cornerstone of my sort of life practice, not just my meditation practice, but is this, I'm not big on,

I have a problem with my victimhood. Like, I do not see myself as a victim in any way, shape, or form, where I think that nagged it me somewhere inside of me once upon a time. And even though I am a boss, and I am, when I say yes to doing a movie, hundreds of people are getting employed, a million, millions of dollars, and all of that, but there was always something in me that had a sadness.

And a lot of my funny comes from that place. So, and by the way, the people who have a lot of that are oftentimes incredibly charismatic, which does not say that I am, but it's sort of like, it became like part of my thing, you know? And yet all my work is so sunny. It's also happy and it's also hopeful. And I would, and I look at it and I'm like, who did that? Like, it's, it's like a magic trick. Like, because it's almost like my real self was coming out and my mind wasn't controlling it in some strange way. So it's not like you were faking it, it was actually coming from some deep place

that was papered over by this negative voice. Yeah, so I think that that's kind of what I've kind of discovered now. In my work going forward, I'm really interested in exploring much more like a adult kind of work and much more intensive character work and much more things that are not quite necessarily so family, which is not to say I won't do family stuff, but it's sort of like I sort of made my mark doing projects that no one thought was going to work.

And it was really for like the sort of broad family general audience stuff, which was just totally ironic that it was me doing it, but and yet it was all super successful. Like, nobody thought the pacifier was gonna work like a Vin Diesel family movie with him and babies and all that. By the way, at least of all me, like I didn't, and it was like my biggest movie. It was like, it's crazy. Like these things that I made ended up just feeling so hopeful

and happy and right. And I was like, that's weird. So now that you're feeling happier, you're gonna do darker stuff? I'm available to do. Well, I wanna say more than like, you know, there's a family for everyone. Like, I want to say more in life than that. And I have, like, for example, here's a story. I have a project set up at HBO that is the Stonewall story that told from the perspective largely of the guys who opened it, which were

three mob kids, Italian, straight guys, businessmen, who were like 19. Just for the uninitiated, this is the Stonewall riots, this is a bar in the West Village, where there were riots by the largely gay clientele against gay bashing and the world. By the way, it was like, listen, the world was on fire at that point anyway. It was like just coming out of the summer of love and at Marlinsie was going on and the black panthers and the counter-culture movement, everything was going on in the world. And on that block, you know, it's just the oppression of the gay community, just exploded and the riots broke after three days and all that.

But what people have all heard and know, peripherally, that the mob was sort of involved, well, it's true as they actually owned it and they ran it. And they ran it with the handshake agreement that the gay community was going to run it. But they were, you know, it was their bar and the gay community who they apparently had no judgments on like the sexual nature of them. They were a revenue stream and they were happy to be two, they were like these two outlaw cultures, the mob and the gay community who were being both beaten up by the law, who agreed to sort of make a handshake so that they could help each other. So is this project going forward?

It's just being written now. It's being written now. And a far cry from Harrisbury? Well, exactly. But it's like, it's a story that really resonates with me because I think it is fascinating how everything I think would be true, which is that, you know, a crime family and a crime culture that has so much testosterone back in 1967 must have been some of the worst oppressors, and in fact, they were the guys that lit the fuse. It's crazy.

So that's a really fun project for me. You know, I'm working on, you know, listen, this is going to sound pretty gay, but like the real story of Gypsy Rose Lee's family that the musical Gypsy is based on the true story of it. Their mother was like a bipolar, alcoholic lesbian who was one of the great child abusers of history, and yet somehow she became this monument of musical theater lore. I mean, there's a reason why it's called,

Gypsy, a musical fable. And so I have a project where I'm telling the true story of it and how really kind of Gypsy ended up kind of becoming her mother. And there was like a question to a bald murder, that flash suicide that happened. You know, it's more interesting. So it's dark, like that's dark stuff.

But it's, again, all of it is very character intensive. I'm interested in human stories. Just events on their own don't necessarily do it for me. I like to know what's going on with the people in it. Here's what's interesting to me. I mean, all of that is fascinating, but what under it is something that I'm curious about, which is a lot of people worry that if they fix their psychological problems or, or let's just say, reduce the psychological pain that's accrued in their life, start meditating,

get happier, they're going to lose their edge. But what I'm hearing from you is you just did all of the aforementioned, and in fact your work may get edgier. Yeah, I think so. Well, I'm not afraid anymore to explore any part of me or any interest of mine at this point. Once upon a time, I think just like that little kid who was told that he was bad and wrong and had to lie to survive and all that, I had that like, this is what I do. This is what I do and then I'm going to make money and I'm going to be okay and I'll have

a company and all people will like me and it'll all be fine. But that's like a fantasy too. That's not why will like me and it'll all be fine. But that's like a fantasy too. Like, that's not why people like me. You know what I mean? It's all like control issues. And what meditation has done is I really release a lot of that through my meditation practice. I still do an enormous amount of visualization.

You know, I'm one of those geeks that like, you know, I'll be sitting in a cab and I'll go like, I can do a five minute meditation in here. Oh yeah, I'm one of those geeks that like, you know, I'll be sitting in a cab and I'll go like I can do a five minute meditation in here. Oh, yeah. I do that. So you got to get them to turn off the radio. Yeah. And you just, you know, I can close my eyes. I can start focusing on my breathing and start going for it. Do you have a time of day that you usually do every morning? Every morning. How long? It varies between 15 and 20 minutes. I don't do it longer than that. I start to fall asleep if I start to push past that,

but the 15, 20 minutes is totally regular, but then I do it throughout the day when I see breaks. And particularly if I have agitated, like my book is coming out today. And last night I had an unexpected and an unforeseen adrenaline rush because I suddenly, I'm just used to that.

I'm wired to know when something is coming out. That means something's happening, and like suddenly people are gonna be, they're gonna be judging something or whatever, but there's expectation involved in it. I mean, that is what I've signed up for in every facet of my life, but adrenaline comes with that. And my adrenaline got really high last night,

and I was like, oh boy, I don't know what to do with myself. I was like, really drumming my fingers, and I knew I should meditate, and I just did not want to meditate at all because I was like, yeah, that'll be a disaster and then I'll, you know, that'll be mad at myself for meditating badly and then, you know, it became all this crazy circular thinking. And I ended up just going like, okay, just turn on the TV

and sit down and just put on something that is gonna make you feel comfortable, like a procedural and I did and I did. And then as I suddenly started sort of sinking into my body and just put on something that is gonna make you feel comfortable like a procedural. And I did and I did. And then as I suddenly started sort of sinking into my body and just going over here, I am, I started very automatically, started doing that thing where I started regulating my breathing, focusing on it. I started feeling the points of contact where my body was on the bed and started just getting going inward in my body and thinking and I regulated it on my body relaxed

and I became actually much more okay, you know, calm. It's not that every moment is the right time to meditate. Like if you're freaking out, I mean, it's not throwing yourself in the lotus position is not gonna fix all of your problems. No, not gonna be hitting a treadmill or watching something that's gonna ease your mind, makes better sense and then you can meditate.

Yeah, three giant deep breaths and big exhales will actually regulate me. It'll actually bring my stress level down. Really big inhales with really big exhales. I think if I have to dash around the corner and go like, because I don't want people to think I'm hyperventilating or something. But that's like when I'm really going nutty. And I don't go nutty very much because I'm pretty calm most of the time. You mentioned your book.

Yeah. Tell me about it. It's a YA book. I was approached by a literary agent. Girl about town. Girl about town is the name of it. And I was approached by a literary agent to do something that I believe was based on like my Twitter. Like that, like I had this very like kind of funny, I have a funny way on Twitter and you know coupled with what the way that I was on so you think you can dance,

which was very much me and the way I talked to those kids because you know I talked to those kids while I was judging, because I did not want them to feel judged, I want them to feel encouraged and supported. And so it was that kind of, which was very much me talking, wishing that somebody had spoken to me like this when I was auditioning.

So, or when you were a three-year-old. When I was a three-year-old. And yeah, I'm just saying it's okay, it's okay, it's good. So when you were a three-year-old when I was a three-year-old and Yeah, I'm just saying it's okay. It's okay. It's good So I went okay and he proposed a kind of a project and I said well, I would be interested in doing a kids book and I said but listen I'm in the middle of a multiple projects right now. I love collaborating. Can you find me a co-author? Not a ghost writer like like a real collaborator and And they said, sure, and they sent me some materials from different people. And I found a woman, and who's now become my partner,

Laura Sullivan, and who's written a lot of YA literature. But she was really interested in doing this kids book with me, that project ended falling through. But in the meantime, we got to talk a lot and she just was like, hey, I think that you should not stop, right? I think you should actually, right? And I would love to write with you. I would be into any kind of YA stuff.

And I was like, well, like what? And she said, so she proposed this kind of, she asked about a lot of my reading habits when I was young, which was a lot of mysteries, a lot of mysteries. And she said, well, you love Hollywood, is there anything? I said, well, it would be fun to do a young person's version of the thin man, and try to create those characters,

but in their kind of late teens, but have that kind of bantery kind of, I'm embarrassed. Of the thin man, oh, Dashel Hammett, it's a couple of Nick and Nora Charles, they're like a famous detective couple that were in a big series of movies were made of in the late 30s, 40s,

and then in the early 50s. So, and so these are, this is young people doing what they think. This is young, it's young people that we created that have that kind of relationship. And it's that sparkly, bantery kind of relationship that it became famous on like TV shows like Heart to Heart and I literally am now tailoring this.

So you understand what I'm talking about? Yes, yes, like, who lighting, you know, it's like that. You're in my timeframe. Okay, great. So could you make this into a movie? Well, you could accept that the market today, I'm like, leave it to me to write something that doesn't seem like anybody

would want to produce it right now. But if the book is successful, then of course somebody would want to make it. But it's, it's a period mystery that has comedic leanings as well as suspense, but with young people in it. So it's like, I don't know who gets that movie made. It's like there's L-fanning or like, I'm begging Selena Gomez to do this lead in a period mystery. It's all too mannered.

It doesn't fit with what's out there in the marketplace. I mean, the only person, it's a procedural. Maybe it, well, it could be a procedural, like Hard art art and all of that, but it would have to be CW. And I don't know who's doing young period pieces. It's all set in the 1930s. In Hollywood, that's expensive. I've made a lot of stuff. And I'm telling you, it can be expensive. I know you can do it cheaper, but it's still a thing. Listen, I will say this, if the book is a hit, somebody's going to want to make it. You're looking at me like, I'm telling you. I just like, I know I'm a bias toward my own ideas. Here's my

last question for you. I haven't meditating for a couple of years and I played the drum since I was 10. So I have some rhythm, but I can't dance. Yeah, I mean, I that's just not true. Like what you can't dance like Misty Copeland. Yeah, sure, maybe, but you can I mean everybody can get up there and step-touch on the dance floor and do all that. I mean dancing I mean Dancing can be literally putting on music and just jumping around and flailing around off beat and doing something where you're just, you know,

losing yourself in a sense of physical expression. And that is what, that is dancing. I mean, the stuff that you think about is dancing, that's like organized, you know, that's like, it's about unlocking your body and not feeling so self-conscious. And that's all on you. Yet, well, that's what I'm, it's a rule. It's about unlocking your body and not feeling so self-conscious. And that's all on you. Yet, well, that's what I'm saying.

I can't do it. And I would think that I'm working on my mind. It's a great meditation guy. Yeah. What is it with I can't? That's such, I mean, maybe you can't become an astronaut right now. You can dance.

Like, I, like, there's, that's so on you. I don't have any sympathy for you right now. Like, I can't dance. Like, I, like, there's, that's so on you, I don't have any sympathy for you right now. Like, I can't dance. Yeah, that's what you can. Like, I, I, you know, if we put on music, I could make sure that you, by the way, I'm not gonna do it, but I would make sure you're like, okay, no, do this.

I'm like, yeah, you just have to go like, it doesn't matter. Have you ever jumped out of an airplane? No. You got it. That's the greatest thing in the world. It's like it fires your brain. Every single one of your survival instincts is going, do not do this. This is stupid. This is very bad idea. You are very high in the air. you will absolutely, this will die there. This makes no sense.

And I've done it now many times because I could not believe the experience of it because the sheer act of getting past everything your brain is telling you and pushing past it and through it, and then experiencing the unbelievable exhilaration of 1 million percent not being in control of what's happening, and then suddenly taking all that time. But that adrenaline rush cleanses your brain like nothing else. It's like putting your brain through the best Maytag. Kedmore, whatever. Or like a colonic of the brain.

I mean, no, better, more cleansing than a colonic. Cause colonics still leave stuff there. But it's like, you know, that's a hell of a colonic if it's got everything. But it is an extraordinary experience where you feel so pure and so clean and so amazing. I honestly cannot recommend it enough. I know it sounds insane and scary,

but you will not think that there is anything you cannot do after you do that. I guarantee you. You can make a very convincing argument. I'm actually taking it seriously. Adam Shankman, you are a delight. Thank you. Honest.

How's it going? Very, thank you. You're honesty, you're humor, all of that fantastic. Really appreciate it. Keep on meditating. I know you're going, all of that fantastic, really appreciate it. Keep on meditating. I know you're going to go take a lesson with the TM guy soon and keep on making art and books. And I look forward to watching your procedural when it airs on the level in the fall of 2018. Thank you very much, man. Thanks, buddy. Really appreciate it. All right, there's another edition of the 10% Happier Podcast. If you very much, man. Thanks, buddy. Really appreciate it. All right, there's another edition of the 10% happier podcast.

If you like it, I'm going to hit you up for a favor. Please subscribe to it, review it, and rate it, preferably five stars. I want to also thank the people who produced this podcast, Josh Cohan, Lauren Efron, Sarah Amos, and the head of ABC News Digital, Dan Silver. You can see a video version of this podcast at ABCNews.com and hit me up at Twitter, Dan B. Harris. See you next time. Hey, hey prime members, you can listen to 10% happier early and add free on Amazon Music.

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