Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - An Antidote to the Mortal Threat of Loneliness | Bonus Meditation with Oren Jay Sofer

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

We all long to be seen and experience connection. Being fully present with your loneliness can actually be a powerful way to feel less alone.About Oren Jay Sofer:Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfu...lness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. Oren teaches retreats across the country and works as Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools, teaching and developing curricula for one of the international leaders of mindfulness in education.To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Loneliness and Connection,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=de5f07ba-bb54-400a-9fa7-73757ac29c63.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What does it even mean to live a good life? Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth? What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived? These are the questions award-winning author, founder, and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests on the Top Ranked Good Life Project podcast. Every week, Jonathan sits down with world renowned thinkers and doers, people like Glenn and Doyle, Adam Grant,
Starting point is 00:00:23 Young Pueblo, Jonathan Height, and hundreds more. Start listening right now. Look for the Good Life Project on your favorite podcast app. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey, everybody. We're coming up on Valentine's Day, which can be fun for some people and brutal for others. If you experience loneliness on Valentine's Day or really at any time, you
Starting point is 00:00:54 should know that it is genuinely a serious and potentially mortal threat. We evolved as a social species. A lonely human on the savannah was likely to be a dead human, which is why our physiology revolts when we're lonely. And you don't have to be alone to be lonely. You can be surrounded by people and still disconnected. Some of you may remember that our current surgeon general of the Vakemerti came on the show a while back and talked about experiencing loneliness in the midst
Starting point is 00:01:23 of a very busy and heavily populated life. So today in antidote to loneliness. Our meditation teacher, DuJour, is Orin J. Sofer, who teaches mindfulness, meditation, and also non-violent communication. He's also a well-loved teacher over on the 10% happier app. Before we get started with Orin, just a quick plug for Monday's episode here on the show. We're going to talk to doctors, Julie and John Gottman, experts in the science of love and relationships.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I'm kind of hoping to call that episode how not to get divorced. We'll see if my colleagues here on the show, let me get away with that. In any event, enough out of me. Let's meditate now with Orrin. Hey, this is Orin. There's a difference between solitude and loneliness.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Solitude is an experience of being alone and feeling connected to oneself. Loneliness is the absence of connection altogether. It's ironic, but sometimes we can feel the loneliness when we're around others. It's hard to be around friends or loved ones and miss the connection and belonging we want. Let's meditate together and see if we can discover some of that connection we long for right here and now. So go ahead and settle into your posture.
Starting point is 00:02:51 You can close your eyes or keep them open. Let your spine lengthen upwards. Let your chest be open and your shoulders broad. See if you can begin to feel some sense of strength in your own physical presence. Next, to help settle, bring your attention to the places in your body where you feel some weight or steadiness. Notice your feet on the floor. The contact with the seat. Take a few moments to let the steady, solid contact their register. When we're feeling lonely, one place to start is by making some space to just be with
Starting point is 00:04:07 that emotion. So see if you can set aside the thoughts, ideas, and memories associated with the loneliness. And instead bring your attention into your body. Keep feeling the sensations of your body sitting, breathing, Where do you feel this loneliness? Whatever you notice, see if you can soften your attention a little and just breathe with You know, feeling seen, feeling loved and connected, these are some of our most fundamental needs as social creatures. And even when others around us can't offer that quality of presence that we want, we can still offer it to ourselves. What would it be like to be fully present and deeply connected to yourself right now? To see yourself as you wish to be seen. With each breath, just being here fully for yourself. All right. And when you're ready, you can let your eyes open.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Look around the room. Thanks so much. Be well. Thank you, Warren. We'll see you right back here on Monday, on Valentine's Day for a brand new episode with the aforementioned doctors, John and Julie Gottman experts in the science of love and relationships, chock full of practical tips that will prevent,
Starting point is 00:07:22 at least ideally, some sort of rupture in your relationships. So that's coming up on Monday. Hey, hey prime members. You can listen to 10% happier early and ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen early and ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, do us a solid and tell us all about yourself
Starting point is 00:07:50 by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Hey, I'm Aresha, and I'm Brooke. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Rich, where we bring you absolutely true and absolutely shocking stories about the most famous families and biggest celebrities the world has ever seen. Our newest series is all about drag icon RuPaul Charles. After a childhood of being ignored by his absentee father, Ru goes out searching for love and acceptance, but the road to success is a rocky one.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Substance abuse and mental health struggles threatened to veer Roo off course. In our series, Roo Paul Bornnaked, we'll show you how Roo Paul overcame his demons and carved out a place for himself as one of the world's top entertainers, opening the doors for aspiring queens everywhere. Follow even the rich wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on Amazon Music or the Wondery app. Life is short and it's full of a lot of interesting questions. What does happiness
Starting point is 00:08:49 really mean? How do I get the most out of my time here on Earth? And what really is the best cereal? These are the questions I seek to resolve on my weekly podcast, Life is short with Justin Long. If you're looking for the answer to deep philosophical questions, like what is the meaning of life? I can't really help you, but I do believe that we really enrich our experience here by learning from others. And that's why in each episode,
Starting point is 00:09:13 I like to talk with actors, musicians, artists, scientists, and many more types of people about how they get the most out of life. We explore how they felt during the highs and sometimes more importantly, the lows of their careers. We discuss how they felt during the highs and sometimes more importantly, the lows of their careers. We discuss how they've been able to stay happy during some of the harder times. But if I'm being honest, it's mostly just fun chats between friends about the important stuff. Like, if you had a sandwich named after you, what would be on it? Follow
Starting point is 00:09:39 life is short wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering App. short wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen to ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.

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