Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - An Antidote to the Mortal Threat of Loneliness | Bonus Meditation with Oren Jay Sofer
Episode Date: February 11, 2022We all long to be seen and experience connection. Being fully present with your loneliness can actually be a powerful way to feel less alone.About Oren Jay Sofer:Oren Jay Sofer teaches mindfu...lness, meditation and Nonviolent Communication. He has practiced meditation since 1997, beginning his studies in Bodh Gaya, India and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto, and is a graduate of the IMS/Spirit Rock Teacher Training program. Oren teaches retreats across the country and works as Senior Program Developer at Mindful Schools, teaching and developing curricula for one of the international leaders of mindfulness in education.To find this meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app, you can search for “Loneliness and Connection,” or click here: https://10percenthappier.app.link/content?meditation=de5f07ba-bb54-400a-9fa7-73757ac29c63.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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What does it even mean to live a good life?
Is it about happiness, purpose, love, health, or wealth?
What really matters in the pursuit of a life well lived?
These are the questions award-winning author, founder,
and interviewer Jonathan Fields asks his guests
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This is the 10% happier podcast.
I'm Dan Harris.
Hey, everybody.
We're coming up on Valentine's Day, which can be fun for some people and brutal
for others. If you experience loneliness on Valentine's Day or really at any time, you
should know that it is genuinely a serious and potentially mortal threat. We evolved
as a social species. A lonely human on the savannah was likely to be a dead human,
which is why our physiology revolts when we're lonely.
And you don't have to be alone to be lonely.
You can be surrounded by people and still disconnected.
Some of you may remember that our current surgeon general
of the Vakemerti came on the show a while back
and talked about experiencing loneliness in the midst
of a very busy and heavily populated life.
So today in antidote to loneliness.
Our meditation teacher, DuJour, is Orin J. Sofer, who teaches mindfulness, meditation, and also non-violent communication.
He's also a well-loved teacher over on the 10% happier app.
Before we get started with Orin, just a quick plug for Monday's episode here on the show.
We're going to talk to doctors,
Julie and John Gottman, experts in the science of love
and relationships.
I'm kind of hoping to call that episode
how not to get divorced.
We'll see if my colleagues here on the show,
let me get away with that.
In any event, enough out of me.
Let's meditate now with Orrin.
Hey, this is Orin.
There's a difference between solitude and loneliness.
Solitude is an experience of being alone and feeling connected to oneself.
Loneliness is the absence of connection altogether. It's ironic, but sometimes we can feel the loneliness
when we're around others.
It's hard to be around friends or loved ones
and miss the connection and belonging we want.
Let's meditate together and see if we can discover
some of that connection we long for right here and now.
So go ahead and settle into your posture.
You can close your eyes or keep them open.
Let your spine lengthen upwards.
Let your chest be open and your shoulders broad.
See if you can begin to feel some sense of strength in your own physical presence.
Next, to help settle, bring your attention to the places in your body where you feel some weight or steadiness. Notice your feet on the floor.
The contact with the seat.
Take a few moments to let the steady, solid contact their register.
When we're feeling lonely, one place to start is by making some space to just be with
that emotion.
So see if you can set aside the thoughts, ideas, and memories associated with the loneliness.
And instead bring your attention into your body. Keep feeling the sensations of your body sitting, breathing, Where do you feel this loneliness? Whatever you notice, see if you can soften your attention a little and just breathe with You know, feeling seen, feeling loved and connected, these are some of our most fundamental needs as
social creatures.
And even when others around us can't offer that quality of presence that we want, we can
still offer it to ourselves. What would it be like to be fully present and deeply connected to yourself right now?
To see yourself as you wish to be seen. With each breath, just being here fully for yourself. All right.
And when you're ready, you can let your eyes open.
Look around the room.
Thanks so much.
Be well.
Thank you, Warren. We'll see you right back here on Monday,
on Valentine's Day for a brand new episode
with the aforementioned doctors, John and Julie Gottman
experts in the science of love and relationships,
chock full of practical tips that will prevent,
at least ideally, some sort of rupture
in your relationships.
So that's coming up on Monday.
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Life is short and it's full of a lot of interesting questions. What does happiness
really mean? How do I get the most out of my time here on Earth? And what really is the
best cereal? These are the questions I seek to resolve on my weekly podcast, Life is
short with Justin Long. If you're looking for the answer to deep philosophical questions,
like what is the meaning of life?
I can't really help you,
but I do believe that we really enrich our experience here
by learning from others.
And that's why in each episode,
I like to talk with actors, musicians, artists,
scientists, and many more types of people
about how they get the most out of life.
We explore how they felt during the highs
and sometimes more importantly, the lows of their careers. We discuss how they felt during the highs and sometimes more importantly,
the lows of their careers. We discuss how they've been able to stay happy during some of
the harder times. But if I'm being honest, it's mostly just fun chats between friends about
the important stuff. Like, if you had a sandwich named after you, what would be on it? Follow
life is short wherever you get your podcasts. You can also listen ad free on the Amazon Music
or Wondering App.
short wherever you get your podcasts.
You can also listen to ad free on the Amazon Music
or Wondering app.