Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris - The Harvard Scientist Who Says You Can Use Your Thoughts To Improve Your Health | Ellen Langer

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

The connection between your psychology and your health, and how to work with it.Ellen J. Langer is the author of eleven books, including the international bestsellerMindfulness, which has bee...n translated into fifteen languages, and Counterclockwise:Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility. Most recently, she is the author of TheMindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health.Langer is the recipient of, among other numerous awards and honors, a GuggenheimFellowship, the Award for Distinguished Contributions to Psychology in the PublicInterest from the American Psychological Association, the Award for DistinguishedContributions of Basic Science to the Application of Psychology from the AmericanAssociation of Applied and Preventive Psychology, and the Adult Development andAging Distinguished Research Achievement Award from the American PsychologicalAssociation.She is the author of more than 200 research articles and her trailblazing experiments insocial psychology have earned her inclusion in The New York Times Magazine’s “Yearin Ideas” issue. A member of the psychology department at Harvard University and apainter, she lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.In this episode we talk about:The power of placebosWhy she isn’t a fan of positive thinking as it is talked about in new age circlesHer version of mindfulness, which is quite different from the version we usually talk about here on the show, which comes out of BuddhismPsychological treatments for chronic illness Smart strategies for reframing aging. Why the world would be boring if you knew it allWhat she means by her concept of a “mindful utopia”And her favorite one liners Related Episodes:The Science Of Manifestation: Can This Stanford Neuroscientist Convince A Skeptical Dan To Give It A Shot? | Dr. James R. DotyHow to Get the Wisdom of Old Age Now | Dilip Jeste Tripping Out with a Legend: Jon Kabat-Zinn on Pain vs. Suffering, Rethinking Your Anxiety, and the Buddha's Teaching in a Single SentenceSign up for Dan’s weekly newsletter hereFollow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTokTen Percent Happier online bookstoreSubscribe to our YouTube ChannelOur favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular EpisodesFull Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/ellen-langer-832See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to 10% happier early and ad free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hello, everybody. How we doing? Hello, everybody. How we doing? You might have looked at the title of this episode and thought has Dan lost his mind?
Starting point is 00:00:35 He built his career, at least in part, on rebutting the power of positive thinking, that magical notion that you can use the so-called law of attraction to control your health or make yourself rich, making matters worse perhaps, is the fact that today's episode comes on top of an interview a few weeks ago where I talked to a Stanford neuroscientist who got me to open my mind to the possibility of manifestation. I'll drop a link to that episode in the show notes if you missed it. Anyway, the short answer here is no, I have not lost my mind that Stanford scientist who talked about manifestation readily admitted that his version involves no magic whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:01:12 And the same holds true for the Harvard scientist you're gonna hear from today who has spent several decades over her illustrious career, demonstrating that there is a very powerful connection between the way you think and your physical health. In fact, she makes a compelling case that that famous phrase, the mind-body connection, actually understates the truth of the matter.
Starting point is 00:01:33 She calls it mind-body unity. Ellen J. Langer is a member of the psychology department at Harvard. She's the author of more than 200 research articles. She's also written 11 books. Her latest is called The Mindful Body, Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health. We talked about the power of placebos,
Starting point is 00:01:51 why she's not a fan of positive thinking, as it's talked about in new age circles. Her version of mindfulness, which is quite different from the version we usually talk about here on the show, which emerges out of Buddhism. Psychological treatments for chronic illness, smart strategies for reframing aging,
Starting point is 00:02:08 why the world becomes boring if you know it all, what she means by her concept of a mindful utopia, and her favorite one-liners for doing life better. Ellen Langer, coming right up. You know, I'm never sure how long to keep up an announcement here on the show because on the one hand, I don't wanna bang you over the head with something you've already heard me say
Starting point is 00:02:33 a million times. On the other hand, there's some evidence that you need to hear something about seven times before you take action. I leave with that caveat because I'm aware that some of you might be annoyed that I'm reminding you yet again about this big new venture I just launched called danharris.com. But I'm doing so because I really aware that some of you might be annoyed that I'm reminding you yet again about this big new venture
Starting point is 00:02:45 I just launched called danharris.com. But I'm doing so because I really do want you to come check it out. As you know, I went through a big professional transition recently after a multi-year negotiation with my now former partners over at the 10% Happier app. I am no longer part of that company. This is a big change for me, and so I'd love your support in this new thing I'm now doing.
Starting point is 00:03:06 My initial focus and my post app life is really on this show. It's a huge part of my life. Hope it will be for a long time. And we've heard from you, the listeners, that the practicality and the virtual community of this show are super important. So that's what we're focusing on over at danharris.com.
Starting point is 00:03:26 If you sign up, you'll get a gentle IV drip of aha moments via email. You'll also be able to chat directly with me. You'll get cheat sheets that help you remember all the practical wisdom we drop on the show. And you'll get monthly AMAs where you can join me live and ask me anything. It's eight bucks a month or $80 a year,
Starting point is 00:03:46 and it's free for anybody who can't afford it. If that's you, just send me an email. I'll hook you up, no questions asked. Also, just to say, while I'm super excited about doing my own thing right now, for the next few months, I'm gonna keep you posted on what the folks over at the app are up to. They have changed their name.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Now, instead of 10% happier, it's just plain happier. They've also re-imagined the app are up to. They have changed their name. Now instead of 10% happier, it's just plain happier. They've also reimagined the app, reflecting the belief that no two journeys are the same and your meditation app should meet you where you are to help you achieve more than you thought possible. Happier introduces new ways to meditate and updated features that bring mindfulness to you on and off the cushion.
Starting point is 00:04:22 The app checks in with you monthly and adapts to your needs and goals, whether you've been practicing mindfulness for three minutes or 30 years. Download the new Happier app today to discover meditation that evolves with you. Listening to Audible helps your imagination soar. Whether you listen to stories, motivation, expert advice, any genre you love, you can be inspired to imagine new worlds, new possibilities, new ways of thinking. Listening can lead to positive change in your mood,
Starting point is 00:04:48 your habits, and ultimately your overall wellbeing. Audible has the best selection of audiobooks without exception, along with popular podcasts and exclusive Audible originals, all in one easy app. Enjoy Audible anytime while doing other things, household chores, exercising on the road, commuting, you name it. My wife Bianca and I have been listening to many audiobooks
Starting point is 00:05:10 as we drive around for summer vacations. We listen to Life by Keith Richards. Keith, if you're listening, I'd love to have you on the show. We also listen to Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari. And Yuval, if you're listening to this, we would also love to have you on this show. So audio books, yes, audible, yes, love it.
Starting point is 00:05:28 There's more to imagine when you listen. Sign up for a free 30 day audible trial and your first audio book is free. Visit audible.ca, audible.ca. Hello, I'm Dak Shepard. And I'm Monica Padman. Monica and I do three weekly shows with celebrities on Monday, experts on Wednesdays, and crazy stories from listeners on Fridays.
Starting point is 00:05:52 We're so excited to officially be a part of the Wondry Network. So follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe to Armchair Expert on YouTube. Alan Langer, welcome to the show. Hi, nice to see you, Dan. Likewise. I have so many questions for you. The book is called The Mindful Body,
Starting point is 00:06:13 Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health. What does that mean, thinking our way to chronic health? That means that the control we have over our health is far greater than most people realize and essentially a function of our thoughts. People think of a mind and a body as if they're two distinct things which creates the problem of how do you get from this fuzzy thing called a thought to something material called the body. When you put the two together and realize it's one thing,
Starting point is 00:06:47 then wherever you're putting the mind, you're necessarily putting the body. So when you put the mind in a healthy place, so too will the body be there. The mindful body is full of fun research that I've done over the past 45 years to support the idea of unity. Right, so there's a term of art that most people have heard, the mind-body connection.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You tweak that to mind-body unity. Yeah, well, because it's not connected. If it's connected, it means it's two things. And if it's two things, then you have the problem, how do you get from one of these to the other? To speak of a mind-body connection is a one step or five steps better than the way things used to be because it suggests that the mind has something to do with the body. Way back when, the medical model believed that the only way you were going to get sick
Starting point is 00:07:41 was the introduction of an antigen. And I'm sure doctors at that point thought it was nice for people to be happy, also not experience stress, but essentially that was irrelevant to their health. So when you talk about mind-body connection, they're saying, okay, yeah, there's a relationship. I'm saying the relationship is far greater than most people believe. And I have support throughout this book to convince people of that work of my own, but also work of other people. I think that placebos are actually our strongest medicine and placebos support the idea of mind, body unity.
Starting point is 00:08:19 You take this pill, that's nothing. It's a sugar pill. You think it's something, then magically you get better. Perhaps the research that people are most aware of. Interestingly, most people are not aware of research on the nocebo effect. So a placebo, you take something that's nothing, thinking it's something and it does its magic. A nocebo, you take something that's something, you think it's nothing and it doesn't have an effect no, Cibo, you take something that's something, but you think it's nothing, and it doesn't have an effect. So, for example, an early study on this was with people who were vomiting, and they were given Ipecac.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Now, Ipecac is what you give people to make them vomit. So, if somebody has just ingested a poison, unintentionally, presumably. You give them Ipacac, they vomit and they're fine. People are vomiting and they're told that Ipacac will make you stop vomiting and they stop vomiting. It's very important because people, medicine in general, may not work if we don't support it with our mindsets. So an early study we did on the Nocebo effect was we took chambermaids and the first question we asked them is how much exercise do you get? Now these people are exercising all day long but they think exercise is what you do after work and after work they're just too tired. So we divide them into two
Starting point is 00:09:40 groups and we simply teach one of the groups that their work is exercise. They're told making a bed is like working at this machine at the gym, doing this exercise, whatever, is like washing windows and so on. So now we have two groups. One group that's oblivious to the fact that their work is exercise, the other that now has changed their mind. We make sure there are no differences between the groups on as many measures as we could think of. The group that perceives their work now as exercise isn't working harder than not eating differently. Yet,
Starting point is 00:10:14 we find the simple change of mind resulted in weight loss, a change in waist to hip ratio, body mass index, and their blood pressure came down. Okay, so the exercise that they were doing wasn't effective without them believing that it was effective. Very powerful. You go to a doctor and you're given medication. It doesn't work. What the doctor is likely to do is up the dosage. This work suggests what they should do is teach people to collude in their own health, so to speak. But that was the second study we did on this mind-body unity.
Starting point is 00:10:51 The first one is a famous study, Dan. How dare I call one of my own studies famous? That's because if you watch The Simpsons Go to Havana, they talk about the study. And what we did was retrofit a retreat to 20 years earlier and had elderly men live there as if they were their younger selves. As close as I could on a very low budget make it like a Hollywood scene from 20 years earlier. They would discuss topics from the past as if they were just unfolding and all of this took place in a week. As a result, their vision improved, vision,
Starting point is 00:11:27 hearing, memory, strength, and they looked noticeably younger. Now I don't know about you, but to this day, and that study was run quite some time ago, I've never heard of old people's hearing improved without medical intervention, nor even with medical intervention. So the results were very exciting. Mind and body together, you make the mind young and it shows itself on the body. I have a host of these studies. People will read the book if they're interested. I'll just give you one more. The most recent I did this with my graduate student Peter Ungle. So we inflict a wound. Now, we're not
Starting point is 00:12:11 sadists or something like that. So the wound is a small wound, but a wound nonetheless. We have people in front of a clock. Unbeknownst to them, for a third of the people, the clock is going twice as fast as real time. For a third of the people, the clock is going half as fast as real time. For a third of the people, it's going real time. The question is, is that healing influenced by that clock? Now most people think things are going to heal when they heal, but it turns out that that's not the case. The healing time was the clock time, your perception of the time that passes. So we have lots of very exciting studies suggesting our
Starting point is 00:12:51 ability to cure ourselves and prevent illness in the first place is so much greater than people think. And I do this thing with my Harvard students. I'll ask them, how far is it humanly possible to run? They know a marathon is 26 miles, so they start 28, 30. Somebody else yells out 35. Anyway, somebody eventually says 45 or 50. Everybody groans. That's impossible.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Then I turn on a YouTube of the Tarayamora, which is a tribe in Copper Canyon, Mexico. They, as a rule, run over 200 miles without stopping. I would get exhausted running a mile and a half at this point, but I could get myself to the marathon. And to imagine the difference between 26 miles and 200 miles represents, in some sense in my mind the difference from where we are to where we can be if we just change our minds. Let me ask in a friendly way a kind of skeptical question just to give you a little bit of background. I spent a lot of time when I was a network news
Starting point is 00:14:00 correspondent covering all sorts of shysters. Some of the shysters and con men that I covered were involved in the power of positive thinking or manifestation, basically telling people, you don't need to go to a doctor, you can think your way to curing your breast cancer, which I believe is a very dangerous thing to be telling people. So what is the difference between what you're saying? Okay, what's the difference between you and them? A big difference is, it's funny you should ask me this. I've never been approached with this kind of disbelief,
Starting point is 00:14:36 but it's all right. First of all, let me say that snake oil salesmen, part of the reason that they're effective when they're effective is because the pains you experience follow a normal distribution. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're small, so you get a regression to the mean, which means that now all of a sudden the pain is killing me, so I have to do something about it. I go to this con man and he gives me snake oil and I'm going to actually be better because the natural course of pain is that it will revert to the main. So I go ask for help when
Starting point is 00:15:13 it's enormous and if nothing happens the next time around it's not going to be as bad. And I attribute the improvement to the snake oil salesman. Another thing to be aware of, Dan, is that sometimes the wrong people may actually give some of the right advice without knowing why. But I would say the major difference is that all of my work is based on 45 years of research with lots of additional work that's out there
Starting point is 00:15:42 by other people that supports all of it. Let me give you a fun study that Frank Beach did many years ago. So he took a little boy rat and a little girl rat. They're going to copulate. And then, as I'm sure you're aware, a little boy rat at some point is going to be exhausted. He needs a refractory period. If immediately you introduce a new little girl rat, he doesn't need that
Starting point is 00:16:06 refractory period. He's ready to go. So we have a sense of things like fatigue is wired in, there's nothing we can do about it, and as I've already shown you with the tariamora, there's a great deal we can do. So we had a study where we had people in a sleep lab, they wake up and the clock tells them they got two hours more sleep than they got, two hours fewer, or the amount of sleep they actually got. And biological and cognitive functions follow the perceived amount of sleep. You'd have to show me the particular person that is annoying you, and I can tell you what it is he's saying that makes no sense, or where he's picked up some of the research
Starting point is 00:16:46 and I've been doing this, as I said, for 45 years. It's out there in the general world. All one needs to do to be persuasive is sprinkle whatever nonsense they're saying with some actual facts. I don't know what to tell you except that I stand by all of this work. The medical world seems to agree because it has gone from the psychology has nothing to do with our health to acknowledging that yes, it has a great deal to do with our health. But you know, this comes from lots of labs, not just my own.
Starting point is 00:17:18 To be clear, I'm not skeptical of you, but I am very skeptical of people who talk about the power of positive thinking and manifestation. And so I'm just trying to figure out how do I draw the line? Like, what's the difference in the actionable advice? So for example, the snake oil salesman to whom I'm referring will just say, look, it's all about making sure you think positively at every step of the way, which is a very hard thing to do.
Starting point is 00:17:43 And what's the difference between that advice and what you would say we should do when we're trying to use the power of our mind to impact our health? Yeah. Well, the first thing is, I'm considered the mother of positive psychology, not because I'm telling everybody to be positive. My message to everybody first is to be mindful. Now, what I mean by mindful has nothing to do with meditation. It's the very simple process of actively noticing new things
Starting point is 00:18:10 and when you actively notice new things that puts you in the present, right? And that gives you choices and all sorts of things that our mindlessness robs us of. When you're mindful and you have many explanations for any event and explanation A and B get you crazy, explanation C makes you feel good. Chances are you would lean towards the one that's positive. If you see the world as positive and negative or even just positive, that makes real the negative. The concept of toll suggests short, that there are these dimensions that matter.
Starting point is 00:18:48 And I don't think we should try to be positive. I think that what we should do as much as we can is to get rid of the mindlessness that controls our lives. My research suggests that virtually all of us are mindless almost all the time. So Dan, I'm gonna ask you something. How much is one plus one? This is the thing everybody thinks they know.
Starting point is 00:19:10 How much is one plus one? I've never been good at math, but I think it's two. Okay, and so much so that you probably are gonna disparage me silently, right, for asking such a silly question. But it turns out this thing that we think we know better than anything else is not always true. If you add one watt of chewing gum plus one watt of chewing gum, one plus one is one. You add one cloud plus one cloud, one plus one is
Starting point is 00:19:35 one. You add one pile of laundry plus one pile of laundry, one plus one is one. And somebody who heard me on some podcast speaking sent me something that said, if you add one pizza and put on top of it one pizza, you have two pizzas. However, if you have one lasagna and you add on top of it another lasagna, one plus one is one. It's just a bigger lasagna. All right, so in the real world,
Starting point is 00:19:59 one plus one probably doesn't equal two as a morph and as it does. Not only that, but mathematicians probably know that 1 plus 1 equals 2 if you're using a base 10 number system. If you're using a base 2 number system, 1 plus 1 is written as 10. Alright, so what does all this mean? This means that the things we think we know, maybe we don't know them. Now when you know you don't know, you tune in, right? If you knew what I was going to say next,
Starting point is 00:20:28 why would you listen to me? And what I'm telling people is that uncertainty is the rule, it's not the exception. Everything is changing, everything looks different from different perspectives. And so when you think you know, it's because you're confusing the stability of your mindset with the stability of the underlying phenomena. Things are changing. You want to hold them still in your head, do so, but they're
Starting point is 00:20:51 changing. So I met a horse event and that will go to new stories, which I've told these before. I met a horse event. This man asked me, can I watch his horse for him because he wants to get his horse a hot dog? Well, I'm Harvard Yale all the way through. I'm the A plus student you hated in school. I know, nobody knows better. Horses don't eat meat. He comes back with a hot dog, he gives it to the horse, and the horse ate it. That moment, I realized everything I thought I knew could be wrong.
Starting point is 00:21:23 Now, what people don't realize is that science only gives us probabilities. It says if you were to do this exact same study again, which you can never do exactly the same study, but if you were to do exactly the same thing again, you're likely to get these findings. But the world, parents, teachers, periodicals report these probabilities as absolutes. If you know something absolutely,
Starting point is 00:21:52 you don't pay any attention to it. So there are two ways to become mindful as I study it. One is bottom up, as I just said, take things you think you know and notice new things about them. And then you'll see you didn't know it as well as you thought, then your attention will naturally go to them. Or top-down, which is to accept that everything is changing. So uncertainty is a myth and that means everything then is new. Now the reason
Starting point is 00:22:23 people have so much difficulty accepting uncertainty is because they think other people do know. I know I don't know, but you seem to know, so I'm going to pretend I know or I'm going to avoid the situation. I'm here to free everybody. Nobody knows. And so the posture I think that is most successful in life is to be confident but uncertain. You know, if you were going to come visit me, you've never been to my house, you wouldn't have to practice anything. You'd walk in and you'd notice things. You'd say, oh, did she do those paintings?
Starting point is 00:22:58 What is that? All that noticing would enable you or be the essence of you being engaged. So as you're actively noticing new things, the neurons are firing. And the 45 years of research has shown me that that's literally and figuratively enlivening. In very early studies, we took elderly people, we gave them instructions in this mindfulness act of noticing, and they did, they live longer. We have that in a few studies. Not only that, but when you're actively noticing in the present and people out
Starting point is 00:23:32 there, it's very sweet. They say be in the moment, but that's an empty instruction. Why? Because when you're not there, you're not there to know you're not there. And most of the time we're just not there and we're oblivious to it. And being there is fun. It's what you're doing when you're having fun, rather than being more or less like a robot where the past is dictating the present. You know, when you're actively noticing, you understand things can be understood in many ways. You have all sorts of choices. Your behavior tends to be rule and routine guided, rather than those rules and routines determining everything you do. Now, and what happens is that when you're actively noticing, you seem alive to people. It's the essence of charisma. So,
Starting point is 00:24:20 it's fun for you, people are going to like you more, you have more control, more ways of understanding any event, and we have other research where that mindfulness leaves its imprint on what you're doing. The products tend to be better. People think it's hard because they confuse it with thinking, and even thinking has gotten a bad rap. Thinking isn't hard. What's hard is when we are worried that we're not going to get the right answer. People in their spare time away from schools and work do all sorts of puzzles and games that require them to use their minds for pleasure. I want to get back to the impact on
Starting point is 00:25:02 health. So let me give you a concrete example. Right before I came to this interview, I was talking to my wife who's having a tough day. She has a complex headache syndrome, so she gets awful headaches, and it's really terrible. So I walk from that conversation into this interview and I'm thinking, okay, well, what could I advise my wife who's in terrible pain based on what I'm hearing from you? Sure. Well, there are many things. Towards the end of the mindful body, I talk about
Starting point is 00:25:36 a psychological treatment that we've used successfully for many chronic illnesses. I call it attention to symptom variability. That's just a fancy way of saying being mindful. So when you're mindful, you're noticing change. So when people have whatever illnesses, the headaches for example, they tend to think that your wife would think she's in pain all the time and big pain all the time. Well, no one is experiencing any symptom all the time and big pain all the time. Well no one is experiencing any symptom all the time but the moments you're not experiencing you're just living so
Starting point is 00:26:10 you're oblivious to the fact that you have that relief. Anyway what we do is we call people periodically and we simply ask them how is the symptom now? Is it better or worse than before? And then the important question is why? Alright, so several things happen with this. The first is that when you're diagnosed with a chronic illness, people tend to think that there's nothing they can do about it. And that's wrong. It's just that the medical world hasn't found a solution for them. So now you notice, gee, right now it's a little better than before, so you feel good. Second, you notice sometimes you are better. Now when you're looking for why now am I better than before, that starts a mindful search and that mindfulness itself is good for your health.
Starting point is 00:27:00 And finally, I think that you're more likely to find a solution if you're looking for one than if you're not. Now, we've done this with people who have Parkinson's, multiple sclerosis, chronic pain, arthritis, stroke, real things. And in each case, we get success. Once I realized that how powerful placebos were, which was to me such strong evidence that we're doing it ourselves, I wanted to see is there a way for us to do it ourselves without involving the medical world? And this is the closest I've come to it.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Now, you might say, well, I'm calling your wife or whomever. Everybody has a smartphone these days. Set the smartphone to ring in an hour. Ask yourself, how is the symptom? Is it better or worse than before and why? Then set it to ring in two hours and ten minutes. Just keep bearing it over the course of a week, maybe two weeks. The good thing about this is that there's no downside. There are no effects that you might get with medication or what have you. And I'm not suggesting that people
Starting point is 00:28:03 shouldn't see their physicians, but there's often a long wait period then. The physicians, remember now we've just determined, don't know because none of us know. They have some good answers, but they can't be sure. And so no matter what, you have to participate actively in your own health care. People don't understand that. This is a little confusing, easy I think when it's being read, but prediction is an illusion. You can predict to the group, but you can't predict the individual case. And when you're suffering, it's good to know that whatever it is helps lots of people,
Starting point is 00:28:42 but you want to know is it going to help you. So let me give you an example that I've used before. I will give you a million dollars. We're going to go to a Mercedes shop, lots of fancy cars. Pick one at random. You can pick the one. If you turn the key and the engine starts, I'll give you a million dollars. If the engine doesn't start, you give me, let's say $500,000. People won't take the bet. Even the best of us make mistakes, products are not uniformly excellent.
Starting point is 00:29:16 We just know that if we did this at a used parking lot, that more of the Mercedes will start than the used cars, but not every single one. Michael Jordan occasionally misses a foul shot. Ellen Langer occasionally makes a foul shot. If we're only gonna each shoot one basket, we wanna be careful, right? And so the doctor's information is all about probabilities,
Starting point is 00:29:43 not what is necessarily going to be good for you. The advice that you gave that I would give to my wife about paying attention to the symptom variability, it's interesting because you said earlier that your version of mindfulness is different, doesn't require meditation. Oh no, it has nothing to do with meditation. Oh, no, it has nothing to do with meditation. Yes. And the way a meditation teacher would tell someone to work with pain is to pay close attention to it and notice its changing nature. The meditation teacher would tell your wife to meditate.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Right? And meditation is not mindfulness. Meditation is a practice you engage in to result hopefully in post meditative mindfulness. I did some early research on meditation. I'm not anti meditation, but what I'm talking about is just different. It's not a practice. It's a way of being that naturally flows from recognizing you don't know. So when your wife says, I'm always in pain, she thinks she knows she's always in pain. If she were mindful, she'd know nothing is always, and she would naturally tune in. But when the meditation teacher, and I don't think they would do this, but say, follow
Starting point is 00:31:01 that pain, it's not the same thing because I'm talking about the changes in the pain and when those changes occur. I think it's quite different but it's the same wonderful two ways to get better and probably many more out there or just take an aspirin. Coming up, Elin Langer talks about how to increase your mindfulness quotient. Again, mindfulness as she defines it. We'll also talk about the differences between her definition of mindfulness and the one that emerges out of Buddhism. And we'll talk about some of her favorite one-liners for doing life better.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything, like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head. Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world
Starting point is 00:32:02 to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. Like the true stories behind the six wives of Henry VIII, whose lives were so much more than just divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived. Or Esther of Burundi, a princess who fled her home country to become France's first black supermodel. There's also Queen Christina of Sweden, an icon who traded in dresses for pants,
Starting point is 00:32:24 had an affair with her lady-in-waiting, and eventually gave up her crown because she refused to get married. Throw in her involvement in a murder and an attempt to become Queen of Poland, and you have one of the most unforgettable legacies in royal history. Follow Even The Royals on the Wondery app,
Starting point is 00:32:39 or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge Even The Royals ad-free right now on Wondery+. Hey, it's Guy Raz here, and you might know me as the host of How I Built This. Well, did you know about my other show, The Great Creators? It's where I interview some of the most celebrated actors and musicians of our time about their life, their craft, and where they find their ideas. You'll hear giants like Tom Hanks. Very rarely do I have a conversation quite frankly, like this one guy.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Jason Sudeikis talked about how he became Ted Lasso. People will say to us, you know, this is the show saved me, I will say back me too. Plus musicians like Ellie Golding, Bjork and Lainey Wilson. I remember having that crazy feeling of I am going to do this. I'm going gonna be on that stage. You can check out our newest season
Starting point is 00:33:28 and browse our whole catalog, 80 plus episodes by following the great creators on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the great creators early and ad free right now on Wondery Plus. A quick reminder to come check out what I'm doing over at danharris.com. This is a huge new venture for me.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I'd love to get your support and your feedback. And a reminder that the 10% Happier app is now called Just Happier, and they've got personalized meditation plans and fresh ways to meditate on and off the cushion. Download the new Happier Meditation app today to discover meditation that evolves with you. Say a little bit more about how if,
Starting point is 00:34:14 and I agree with you on this, meditation is a way to improve your mindfulness, but you don't believe we absolutely need to meditate in order to be mindful. So what would you recommend that we could do in order to increase our mindfulness quotient? Well, you know, I've already said two ways. One is top down, which is hard for most people because the world, everything you learned in school, your parents tells you that, you know,
Starting point is 00:34:41 you know, one in one is two horses don't't eat meat, whatever are the facts you have. But if you were able to accept uncertainty, then you'd approach everything as brand new. The other is to take the things you know, so go home, you think you know your wife, I don't think you know her as well as you think you do, and notice five new things about her. And you'll see
Starting point is 00:35:05 those new things and that'll be good for you. And she, by the way, will feel seen and more cared for. So it actually improves relationships. So it's bottom up or top down. It's not a practice. It's an understanding that the world is in flux and that it's a false thing to try to control things by holding everything still because everything is actually there. Anyway, so, you know, again, I hope nothing I'm saying suggests that I'm anti-meditation. It's just something different from what I'm talking about. For many people that meditation is, you know, is a little woo-woo.
Starting point is 00:35:47 And for those people, they can immediately make changes based on what I'm saying. Now, on the other hand, what I'm saying in some ways is so simple that there are some people that are like, no, this big problem I have can't be solved by what Ellen Langer says. And, you know, so maybe they should meditate. There are many ways to get to where we wanna go.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Yes, based on my experience as a meditator, much of what you're describing is trained through meditation. And I don't think everybody needs to do it in order to get what you're describing. But there are some real differences, Dan. You know, so magically, meditators are supposed to become less judgmental.
Starting point is 00:36:32 And I don't see how that happens. But in my scheme of things, it's very clear how it happens. Because once you recognize that behavior makes sense from the actor's perspective, or else the actor wouldn't do it, you change immediately your understanding. So you don't like me because I'm so gullible, but nobody from their perspective is gullible. You don't wake up in the morning and say,
Starting point is 00:36:54 today I'm going to be gullible, obnoxious, and clumsy. So when we see people doing these things, what's actually going on? Well, it's because I'm trusting. Now that you know I I'm trusting you're probably not going to want to change me. But if you do want to change me, the way to change me is not to get me to meditate. The way to change me is to get me to stop valuing being trusting. So it turns out each and every negative description has an equally strong but oppositely valence alternative. Somebody boring is stable. I did this study quite a while ago, you might like has an equally strong but oppositely valence alternative. Somebody boring is stable. I did this study quite a while ago, you might like this.
Starting point is 00:37:30 I give people like two or three hundred behavior descriptions. And I said, check off those things you keep trying to change about yourself and you fail. So for me I check off impulsive, gullible, I won't tell you the others. Then you turn the sheet of paper over and in a mixed up order are the positive versions of these. And now the task is check those things you really value about yourself. My spontaneity, am I being trusting?
Starting point is 00:37:57 And as long as I value being spontaneous, I'm going to seem impulsive at times. As long as I value being trusting, I'm going to end impulsive at times as long as I value being trusting I'm going to end up gullible and so much of the time when we're trying to change people it's because we have a fixed notion and Also think that they do these things all the time and nobody does anything all the time So if you're inconsiderate your wife says to you, I should ask you to make it more fun, what does she accuse you of, Dan? What does she accuse me of? Oh, don't tell me.
Starting point is 00:38:29 It doesn't matter. So let's say your wife says you're inconsistent. She's going to pay attention every time you're inconsistent. Yeah, he's done it again. But what she needs to do is notice all the times you're not inconsistent and then realize that no, it's not a good thing to have given you that label that holds things still because your behavior is also varying. In general, you have all these people trying to change people and the only way you're going
Starting point is 00:38:59 to successfully change people is if you change what they're doing from the perspective from which they're engaging in. An example I use is like drinking. You have people who are heavy drinkers and say, oh my God, you know what you're doing your liver? Nobody's going to stop drinking because their drinking has nothing to do with their liver. But if you said to people, a person gets anxious and does X, and that relieves the anxiety. Is it a good thing to do X? And you'd probably say yes. And then we say, well, X is
Starting point is 00:39:34 consuming alcohol. So if instead of diminishing people for what they do, we understood the advantages to what they do, then we can provide alternative ways of reaching that same goal. We have a study, a wine tasting study that I report in the book. People think it's a wine tasting. We just had heavy drinkers who were participants. And they're told to give us the answers about the particular wines they can drink as much as they want.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Now the experimenter is either mindful or mindless. So when the experimenter is mindless, they're just repeating numbers themselves or whatever. They're not noticing anything new. Always in these studies, the mindful is new, the mindless is same old, same old. And so the mindful people are noticing things about the participant and what have you. When you're in the presence of the mindful experimenter, you drink less. So I think that some of this heavy drinking is because people are ultra sensitive to other people's behavior and they don't know what to call it.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Being with people who are mindless is very uncomfortable. For the heavy drinker, I think it might be even more uncomfortable. Well, this is a great asset that they have, that many have not been made aware of. This picking up all sorts of social cues to which other people are blind. And once you call it what it is, then you can find alternative ways of making use of that skill, rather than trying to get rid of that. It's a very profound idea, I think. As you know, having done all this research for so many years, some of the findings are big.
Starting point is 00:41:22 But this one idea turned out to be more important to me than anything else I've ever written. The idea that behavior makes sense from the actor's perspective or else they wouldn't do it. And that's what makes you non-judgmental. Now meditators are supposed to become non-judgmental by meditating and I just, I don't see how that happens. I think that somebody says, you know, I'm really a nasty SOB. Maybe I'll learn how to meditate so I can be a nicer person. And so when they meditate with the goal of being less judgmental, but I don't see how the meditation itself leads to that. I could venture a theory. Sure, go on. It's your show.
Starting point is 00:42:03 to that. I could venture a share. Go on. It's your show. I don't know if I could say this is true for everybody, but in my own experience, doing some meditation, the more you get familiar with how wild your mind is, the more you understand that everybody's got a wild mind. And that can inexorably lead to empathy. Yeah, I don't buy it, but I'm happy to do a study where we teach people that everybody has a wild mind and then we'll have them step on your toes and we see how much empathy you have. But be that as it may, my desire is not in any way to diminish. Meditation is very good. I would think that you would have answered and said, it's calming. And when you're calm, there's less need to be evaluative and judgmental in the first place.
Starting point is 00:42:56 But calm. Yeah, maybe that too. No, that one, not two. But I think that mindfulness as we study it also has a very powerful effect on stress, which by the way I believe is the major killer. And I think the world eventually will come to that view. But if you open up medical journals, somebody will show its effect on this disease and somebody else on that disease without generalizing across all.
Starting point is 00:43:23 But at the least everybody now knows stress is bad for you and stress is psychological. Events don't cause stress. What causes stress are the views you take of events. The more mindful you are, the more potential views you have. If you have three views, you know, you no longer believe that this thing is going to happen. It's interesting because stress requires two things. Firstly, it requires a belief that something's going to happen. Second, that when it happens it's going to be awful. So to believe that something's going to happen, the more mindful you are, the easier it is. But
Starting point is 00:43:57 anyone can say to themselves, what are three, five reasons that it won't happen? So you went from thinking this thing is going to happen to now maybe it'll happen maybe it won't. You immediately feel a little better. But now is the harder part. Let's assume it does happen. How is that actually a good thing? Because people don't realize that outcomes are they're not good, they're not bad, they're nothing until we frame them. So let's say for example right now my internet goes out. I'm not gonna panic, I'm gonna go have lunch. It's gonna be very nice,
Starting point is 00:44:29 rather than sitting here being hungry. The point is that Shakespeare said, how did Shakespeare say it? Things are neither good nor bad. Life is what we make it, or something like that. Epictetus has said that. It goes all the way back, all the way forward to Ellen Langer, that. It goes all the way back, all the way forward to Ellen Langer.
Starting point is 00:44:45 That the way we understand the world determines how we respond to it. The more mindful we are, the more choices we have as to how to understand it. I'll give your listeners something. I have these one-liners and some of my friends find them very useful, put them on their refrigerator. So next time you're stressed, ask yourself, is it a tragedy or an inconvenience? It's almost never a tragedy. Oh my god, the dog ate my homer, I banged the car, I burned the dinner, I missed the... you know, so what? And then you immediately become calmer. But the larger point is that stress hurts us physically and stress is psychological. Now, here's where I differ from many people out there,
Starting point is 00:45:31 but if we're around in 50 years, we can see if I'm right. I wanted to do this research right before COVID, but I didn't get around to it. That if we took 500 people who were just told they have cancer, vary the cancer, it doesn't matter either, nobody is going to be happy with a diagnosis like that. So let's give people three weeks to deal with it, to come to some terms with it. Now if we measure their level of stress every
Starting point is 00:45:59 three weeks or every month, I believe, I don't have data yet, I believe that that level of stress will predict the course of the disease over and above genetics, over and above nutrition, and dare I say over and above treatment. That's how important stress is. Well, if stress is really this killer that I'm suggesting and we can control our stress by being more mindful, that's a tool we don't want to pass up. Let me tell you something else. The way the book starts, because this book, The Mindful Body, was at first going to be a memoir. So there are lots of personal stories, some sexy stories like my interactions with Hell's Angels, but you'll have to read it to find out about that one.
Starting point is 00:46:43 I have two pancreas stories, which I'm very proud of, because I don't know anybody who has two stories about the pancreas. All right. So I was married, secretly married, when I was very young. So I was 19 going on 30. We went to Paris on our honeymoon, and we go into this restaurant, and I ordered the mixed grill, and on the mixed grill is pancreas. Well, I don't know if I can get myself to eat it, but I think now I'm a married woman I have to eat it. It doesn't follow logically, but in the mind
Starting point is 00:47:14 of a young girl it made sense. Alright, so I asked my then husband, which of these is the pancreas? He points to something. I eat everything else with gusto. Now the moment of decision. Can I get myself to eat that pancreas? And I start eating it and I literally get sick. He starts laughing. I say, why are you laughing? So inappropriate, right? And he said, because that's chicken. You ate the pancreas a long time ago. So I made myself sick. The other pancreas story is my mother had breast cancer. The cancer had metastasized to her pancreas. Well, as you know, that's the end game, right? And then magically it was totally gone. The medical world couldn't explain it. And I was going to spend the next several decades to see if I could. And the mind-body unity goes a long way in that regard.
Starting point is 00:48:08 Now, spontaneous remissions, the medical world doesn't tell you, you know, you think you're in some ways giving people false hope, but you can't know. The example that I'm fond of using, I'm in the hospital and I'm dying, and I decide I want to die in my own bed. I'm not attached to my own bed, but a lot of people seem to be. So you go home and let's say you're spontaneously okay, and you go through a spontaneous remission, the cancer is gone. I don't think people would say,
Starting point is 00:48:36 gee, I have to call my doctor to say he was wrong or she was wrong. So there are all of these spontaneous remissions that are not recorded. There are people who don't go to the hospital in the first place, who don't know they have tumors. The tumor is there, the tumor is gone. We don't know how frequent or infrequent this is. But I think that, you know, the medical world, and I have great respect, you know, I teach these students before they end up going to medical school. They're very smart and caring, but there's information that they're taught, that they
Starting point is 00:49:10 give to people, that in some sense they have no right to give anybody. You cannot, no matter who you're with, no matter what their condition is, you cannot say to them things like, you have three months to live. Or the more mindful doctor might say you have three months to live or you know the more mindful doctor might say you have three to six months they have no way of knowing but often these diagnoses become self-fulfilling prophecies now to go back to chronic illnesses so people believe a chronic illness is nothing they can do about it there's so much you can do about it. I've already said now several times that actively noticing the neurons are firing and that seems to be very good
Starting point is 00:49:51 for our health. Most people, I think when given this terrible diagnosis turn inward, close out everything, start to shut down. Instead, what they need to do is increase their mindfulness. Now you have people who believe exercise is good for you. This is why, Dan. Exercise is good for you, but they're stuck in bed. Well, out of other people's labs, there's evidence that imagined exercise is virtually as good as real exercise. And it comes from many labs around the country, around the world. Our minds are just so powerful and we don't recognize it because we're taught very differently.
Starting point is 00:50:34 We're taught, oh, normal distributions, you know, whatever the dimension, some people don't have any, most of us have a middle and some have a lot. It doesn't matter what that is, talent, beauty, money, no matter what. There are so many questions we could ask that argue against that normal distribution. Ways that I can find myself to be a winner even though all those measures that other people derive led me to fail. I'm throwing a lot at you and I also don't know where to go because I'm very excited as you can see. It's like I want to tell everybody everything and I guess I should say if
Starting point is 00:51:11 if they care about any of this and they read the book they'll find many of the things that I would have liked to tell them now. Coming up Ellen talks about how to operationalize the wisdom from her famous counterclockwise study, why the world would be boring if you knew it all, and what she means by a mindful utopia. One thing that's coming up in my mind as I listen to you talk is how we frame getting older in our minds. I'm 53 and sometimes I can find myself looking in the mirror at the wrong moment and telling myself some whole story about how I'm getting old,
Starting point is 00:51:53 I'm going gray, everything's over. I have this suspicion that that is a very unhealthy line of thought to follow. It is because it becomes self-fulfilling. If when you're younger, you're told when you get older, you're going to fall apart, then you get older and you start to fall apart. You say, well, what do you expect? And you don't do anything about it. It's interesting because so many people worry about getting dementia. So as soon as they forget something, not at your age, but at my age, I'm 77. So you're a baby, right? Now all of my friends, somebody forgets something, everybody starts looking, are they losing it? And I do this thing with my classes.
Starting point is 00:52:30 I teach this health class on Tuesday and Thursday, and on Thursday before I give a lecture on aging, I'll ask them, what was the last thing I said on Tuesday? Nobody remembers. So they're 20 years old, they don't remember, but the not remembering doesn't mean they're falling apart. It just means they didn't remember. There are lots of reasons why you think that you're not remembering that have nothing to do with anything important.
Starting point is 00:52:59 To me, the most salient is if you were to introduce me to three important people when I was 40 years old, I would have learned their names, known something about them. If you introduce me to three important people today, Dan, frankly, I don't care. So I'm not going to learn their names. Now, ten minutes later, when I don't know their names, I didn't forget them, right? You have to have learned something in the first place to forget it in the second place. So as you get older, your values change, you take in different information.
Starting point is 00:53:36 So there are many possible reasons for not remembering. Also, you know, when you're younger, let's say you're working or you're in school, you're that young, everybody is talking about the party next week and their flyers up and whatever. Or now you're 75 and you're invited to the department party because they want you to feel cared for. So you get one invitation and that's it, no reminders. So that person is going to forget the party is next week. If you forgot, Jane is going to say to you, Danny, you're going to the party, and then you'll remember. So lives are very different,
Starting point is 00:54:12 and I think the best thing is to see yourself as changing rather than deteriorating. To me, there are so many ways where we just get better and better. And that doesn't mean that when I'm playing tennis, I'm slower than I was before, but I'm also wiser. I don't have to run around as much because I have a better sense of where that ball is going to arrive based on your position when you're hitting that. I talked about when I was 19, at that point in my life, if I spilled something on this white shirt, like a fool,
Starting point is 00:54:43 I'd walk around like this all day so no one would see it. Which is really bizarre to me because it's like I didn't realize people could think I'm strange. Strange but clean versus that I have this spaghetti sauce on me. Then you get older and who cares? People who know me know that I'm usually wearing clean clothes. People who don't know me, why do I care? The older you get, the more times you experience the same sort of thing,
Starting point is 00:55:11 and you see it goes different ways each time. You become less certain about consequences. You get to choose more. You know, when you're two years old and you fall, you scream bloody murder that you have a raspberry as it's called. And you're seven years old and Johnny or Janey didn't send you a valentine. Oh my God, nobody's going to love me. You're 15 years old and you have a couple of pimples. You get to a certain point in your 40s where all of this starts to feel silly.
Starting point is 00:55:41 So for me, there's a very real way where it gets better and better. And it does for other people, although I don't think they either realize it or are willing to admit it. When I did the counterclockwise study, so here I'm going to make people younger. I don't think they would let themselves fully go back in time. I don't want to be 40 or 50 again, or even 60. The more mindful you are, the more you're getting out of every day you're living. I wouldn't want to give that up, although surely I would like to have maybe the strength,
Starting point is 00:56:17 what have you, that I had before. But we need to see growth in late adulthood rather than focus on the ways we are missing things. And for things not to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You brought back up the counter-clockwise study. Yeah. Given that we're talking about aging, and I know I brought it up again as somebody who's 53 and thinking about it involuntarily sometimes, how could I operationalize some of the wisdom from counterclockwise into my life now?
Starting point is 00:56:49 Sure, sure. I'm not suggesting, although it might be a fun thing. If people go to their reunions and listen to songs from the past, all of that could have a positive effect. But I didn't do the study to suggest that people should rearrange their houses to seem like the past or whatever. It was done basically to show the amount of control we have over these things. That you think you can't, well, I have study after study
Starting point is 00:57:19 that shows people like you can. And there's something else with that that people don't realize. People think they want to always be successful and they need to rethink that. So let's say I'm playing golf. I get so good, Dan, every time I swing the club I get a hole in one. There's no game anymore. So you can either do things imperfectly mindfully or perfectly mindlessly.
Starting point is 00:57:46 And when it's mindless, it's essentially a non-event. So the challenge is the little setbacks, those are actually good things. If you want to win all the time, go play tic-tac-toe against a four-year-old, six-year-old. We don't really want that. We like the challenge. What we need to do though is not make the attribution that the momentary failure means somehow we're less than in some ultimate sense. Right now, the world is set up vertically.
Starting point is 00:58:15 People, bad, can't do anything. And then you have those at the top who pretend and lead everybody to believe that they belong there and nobody else should be there. And I want to take this vertical and make it horizontal. So I wrote this little song from my grandkids. It was actually effective. It goes to the tune of the old Sarah Lee commercial, which you may be too young for. Sarah Lee is everybody doesn't like something but nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. So this is everybody doesn't know something but everybody knows something else. Everybody can't do something but everyone can do something else. I was so pleased. I'm driving in
Starting point is 00:58:52 the car with them, twins. They were I think six at the time. They're nine now. One of them starts to whistle. I say Theo you're such a good whistler. And the other one, Emmett, then says, Grandma L, when Theo was learning to whistle, I was learning something else. It's wonderful because rather than feel bad about what he can't do, rather than try to diminish the person who can do it, and this is the way most of us live, right?
Starting point is 00:59:20 We're worried you're better than I am. I either feel bad about myself or I try to take you down and so on and the whole world has been Constructed in a way. I think that spreads on happiness and it needn't be It seems like what your grandson was demonstrating was what you said earlier, which is the posture of being Confident but uncertain. Yeah, yeah, which is fine not to know because again, if you knew it all, it'd be boring. Remember you're a little kid and you're in the elevator and you try to reach for that
Starting point is 00:59:54 button and you're not tall enough, a parent picks you up and then you press it, okay. Now you're a little tall, you still can't reach it. So it's fun, you can't wait to get in the next elevator to see if you've grown. Then you're tall enough, you press the button, it's over. When was the last time you were excited about being able to press the button in an elevator? So it's the going from not knowing to knowing that's fun. And the problem is that too often we go from not knowing to thinking that we know and then freeze that.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Horses don't eat meat, one in one is two. You have three months to live and what have you. Back to counterclockwise, one thing that came up in my mind is, while I'm not going to reconstruct my 1989, the year of my senior year in high school in my house and try to live that way, but to be friends with younger people, to make sure my life is filled with novelty. Yeah, or you can fill your life with older people and see yourself as the baby, you know? Yes, yes.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Right? If you spend time with me and my friends, you're gonna feel, since you're so much younger, you're gonna feel good. But I think that the better way is to recognize that our age is just a number. It doesn't dictate how we have to be or should be in this world.
Starting point is 01:01:18 We have too many things where we make an age appropriate. And one of the titles I almost used for the book was Who Says So? Because there are so many rules that to me make no sense. When I'm giving talks on this, sometimes then, I'll look in the audience to see if there's a tall man, tall person, it's usually a man. I invite him to the stage.
Starting point is 01:01:39 He's 6'5", I'm 5'3". He looks silly, right? I'll ask him to put his hand up. His hand is three inches larger than mine. And then I just raised the question, should we do anything physical the same way? Now, if he wrote the rules to how you do it, and I play by those rules, I'm never gonna do it
Starting point is 01:02:01 as well as I might otherwise be able to. The whole world, everything that is, was at one point a decision. And a decision means there was some uncertainty. And that means it could have been other. And most of us just take everything as it is. Let me give you an example. There's a silly example, but it comes to mind. A friend of mine had created the first gay pride parade in Boston. So on the blackboard I'll put, here's the route the parade took. Still takes.
Starting point is 01:02:32 And I'll ask them why. Harvard kids, smartest can be, they say, maximum viewing, maximum safety, maximum this, minimum that. And the answer was she was down here and she had to go to her friend's house up here and deliver a package. All right so every time we take what is and we find good reasons for it we sort of more or less lock ourselves in there may be better ways. You know I'm a tennis player the rules of tennis were not handed down from the heavens so the fact that there are two serves, somebody decided two serves. Well, if you're going to play with me, Dan, we're going to have three serves.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Because the first serve, I kill it, it doesn't go in. Now, in the regular game, the next serve is a wuss serve, because I'm playing doubles and I don't want to upset everybody by double folding, right? But if I rule the world, you have three serves. I kill it, it doesn't go in. I kill it again, now I'm getting better. And I still have the backup third serve. So this doesn't mean we have to change the rules
Starting point is 01:03:34 to everything, but people need to know that some of the things they see as their incompetence is not because they're incompetent, it's because they differ in some way from whoever created the activity. Somebody who is too big for a chair is not big, it's just they're bigger than the person who created the size of that chair thought they should be. If you're an American and you go to Vietnam, you're going to see yourself as very big because
Starting point is 01:04:02 those chairs are very small, and so on. The bottom line to all of this is that everything is mutable. Everything can be changed. Now, as long as it's working for you, do it. But when it stops working for you, rather than make the personal attributions to your own incompetence, or an attribution to there's no way you can help yourself physically
Starting point is 01:04:26 with your health and so on, you need to rethink those things. And I have a massive amount of data from our lab, from other people's lab that make me feel comfortable in making this statement. Yeah. You talk in the book about a mindful utopia. What do you mean by that? Okay. So I have a slide when I give some of these talks, used to at least, where it says that
Starting point is 01:04:55 virtually all of our problems, personal, professional, interpersonal, global, are the direct or indirect result of our mindlessness? I say virtual and it's on the slide because I don't feel comfortable writing all in an academic, but then I tell everybody just among us and the other millions of people, I believe all of our problems and that means that if we could teach people which I think we can easily actually, to be more mindful right from the start, we'll end up in a very different world. We'll end up in the world where you can whistle and I can't and I can do this other thing that you can't and isn't
Starting point is 01:05:36 that glorious? I'm not better than you are, I'm not worse than you are, resources that we're fighting over are not really limited, the things that we care about. It's interesting to me, we have a world where people struggle to get status, to get money, and towards what end? It's just really so that they'll respect themselves and like themselves, and there's a whole other way of getting there. And so the things that really matter in life are available to all of us,
Starting point is 01:06:07 but not the way we've all been educated. And it's interesting to me when we give grades in school, so the kids who fail or get Ds, these kids never end up feeling good about themselves. The kids who get the Bs and the Cs, so they're told they're average. Who wants to be average? But the fun thing is for me to think about is those of us who got the A's don so they're told they're average. Who wants to be average? But the fun thing is, for me to think about, is those of us who got the A's don't like it anymore either because everybody expects that you're going to get A's and you're not sure why you got it or whether you'll get it again.
Starting point is 01:06:35 And all of it denies the knowledge, the personal knowledge, the skills that all of these people have. I won this Genius Award then, and it was great, but I can't tell you, every time I do something stupid, somebody around me says, and you're supposed to be a genius? No.
Starting point is 01:06:53 I think it should all be different. There should be a way for all of us to value who we are. And I think some of the differences are exaggerated. I think we're more alike, each of us to each other, than most people think. If you felt what I felt, you'd do what I did. If you thought what I thought, you'd respond the way I did. So you and I both have our hand on a radiator, and it's hot.
Starting point is 01:07:20 I take my hand off right away, you keep yours on. The world now says, Dan, you can endure pain. You're just, you know, you're best. You're really high on this dimension, Ellen. You're a weakling. But what I'm saying now is if you felt what I felt when I took my hand away, you would have taken your hand away also.
Starting point is 01:07:40 I think that the world needs to be reorganized from the ground up. So we have ways of changing schools, simply things like teach conditionally, not one-in-one is two. Because if you teach kids one-in-one is two and then you say to a next class, how much is one-in-one, and Danny says one, the teacher disparages you, then all the kids look at you as if you're stupid and it's very hard to ever shake that off.
Starting point is 01:08:07 In this mindful school, the teacher would say, Danny, how did you come to that? And you'd say one wad of chewing gum plus one wad of chewing gum and so on. Things need to be taught conditionally. When you ask somebody a question, we should be looking for multiple answers to the question, not just a single answer. So many ways, and I outline this and would like to put up mindful schools, mindful hospitals. If you think about it, I don't know about you, but I don't know anybody when they're ill who goes to a hospital that doesn't feel stressed as soon as they walk through the
Starting point is 01:08:39 door. Now, this is supposed to be a place that's going to heal you. And then everybody is wearing uniforms that says, I'm not you. It needs to be changed in ways that are not that hard. And I'm actually beginning some of this in Canada, the people I've spoken to, not yet wanted to start with a whole mindful hospital. I said, let's make a mindful cancer ward and in a mindful emergency room. But in Mexico, we are talking about
Starting point is 01:09:09 starting from the ground up, rebuilding the whole thing. You know, so I think that the world as I see it can be a very different place. And the more people who are mindful, the quicker we'll get to that better place. And there's also this part of the book, you know, I had a whole chapter that I called the woo-woo chapter. This is worse than your snake oil salesman. This is stuff that's so hard to
Starting point is 01:09:34 believe, but it was real. And I let the publishers talk me out of putting all of it in print, but I did save some of it. And what we find is that mindfulness is contagious. Now there's a way the contagion is easy to accept because if you, by virtue of your meditation, Dan, or because you become a Langerian, a not judgmental, I can feel that. And so interacting with you is going to be fun and I'm going to be more mindful myself. But the mindful contagion that we've found, it needs to be replicated. It's just bizarre. Okay, so if you give somebody a common phrase, let's say, Mary had a little lamb. And let's say, it's on an index card. It says, Mary had a little lamb.
Starting point is 01:10:25 People don't see the double A. They just don't see it. Now, if you're next to somebody who is mindful, you will see it. Their mindfulness somehow affects you. It's interesting. I just realized the importance of all of this in many ways relies on people understanding just how mindless they are. And I say again, almost all of us are mindless, but when you're not there, you don't know
Starting point is 01:10:54 it. So there's this wonderful study that Simon and Chabris did where people are watching a basketball game with different instructions. In the middle of the game, a person dressed in a gorilla suit walks on the court. People do not see it. And when if you were in a study like that and you saw that you didn't see it, then all of a sudden you realize you're not seeing, you're not tasting, you're not hearing lots of what the world provides for you. But when we had people be mindful and we
Starting point is 01:11:25 said to them, you know, all basketball games are like all basketball games or else we wouldn't call them basketball games. But just as certainly, each basketball game is different from each basketball game. What I want you to do when you watch this video is notice the ways it's the same as most basketball games and also notice the ways it's different. as most basketball games, and also notice the ways it's different. And that's going to keep you mindful. And when we do that, people tend to see the gorilla. With studies like this, it becomes clear to me
Starting point is 01:11:53 that it's not really that hard, big a change to go from where most people are now to where they could be for their own health and wellbeing. That's so fascinating. You called it woo woo. But actually the contagion makes complete sense to me. Just in my own life of being around people who are awake and engaged and curious and open. You mirror that in your own mind naturally. But before I let you go, Ellen, for those of us who are interested in becoming Langerians ourselves
Starting point is 01:12:26 Can you remind us of the name of your new book and also anything else you've put out that you'd like us to know about? The name of the new book is the mindful body thinking our way to chronic health It's funny Dan for all of my books and translated in many languages There seems to always be an American version and an English version. Yes. Not very many differences, but the English version is the mindful body thinking our way to lasting health,
Starting point is 01:12:54 because they didn't think people could wrap their minds about chronic health, because chronic always means bad. And that's why I chose it to, at any rate. That's the name of the new book. And I've written many books that people can check out on my website, ellenlanger.me, or just Google my name. Such a pleasure to talk to you, Ellen.
Starting point is 01:13:17 Thank you so much. It was fun. Thanks for having me, Dan. Thanks again to Ellen Langer. Great to talk to her. I'm gonna drop in the show notes some links to episodes that hit on similar themes. We've got one from Dr. Dilip Jeste
Starting point is 01:13:33 about how to get the wisdom of old age right now. Plus, I'm going to drop an episode with the legendary meditation teacher John Kabat-Zinn, where we talk about pain versus suffering. Before I go, I want to thank everybody who worked so incredibly hard to make this show happen. Our producers are Tara Anderson, Caroline Keenan, and Eleanor Vasili. Our recording and engineering is handled by the great folks over at Pod People. Lauren Smith is our production manager. Marissa Schneiderman is our senior producer.
Starting point is 01:14:00 DJ Cashmere is our managing producer. and Nick Thorburn of the band Islands, ROTAR theme. If you like 10% happier, and I hope you do, you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.