That Rules Podcast - Episode #104: Rob Crews!

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Bobby Crews is back and better than ever. You may know him from the Durag and the Deertag podcast, or you may your “Back to the Wall” as you listen to this cutie pie belt out some tunes. Just shut up and listen to the boy spit!

We found out how to deal with this our first test run live and it may go bad we may say some really bad words guys No bad words This is the spot to say This does look like A ransom video This is the worst Nicest video ever dude Nobody's getting beheaded

It's weird watching Ourselves on the delay too I'm seeing weird Hand things that I do Makes you feel better I immediately feel like Garth in Wayne's World When they're like

Alright we're live And he's just like Dude you never saw Wayne's World? Nah I always heard It right, we're live. He's just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I'm having a, dude, you never saw Wayne's World? Nah, I always heard it was a lot of fun, but I just, I couldn't get into like

silly, goofy humor until I was like in my teens. You don't go back now though? Mm-mm. Getting goofy now is so fun. You gotta do too much business, Gary Vaynerchuk. I'm busy as hell.

Yeah, you got fucking shit to do. I got a lot of business. I gotta do business. So what, were you into dramas? Yeah, I was a big Titanic kid growing up. I truly was.

You heard of it? That was. I watched Titanic probably two or three times a week growing up. And my mom would just watch me cry, and she was like my little emotional boy. Would she be in the room when there was a scene where you saw Rose's sweet, sweet boobs? No, we had to edit it in VHS. It didn't have the tit in it. It was like the E for everyone.

That's the reason you watched Titanic in the 90s. I would agree, yeah. I found that out at a latter date. Yeah. I was pissed. That's devastating. It truly was, dude. Not knowing.

So did they like censor it or did they just take it out? Just the entire scene. Which if you, in retrospect. So there's not even the iconic hand on the steamy window. Yes, there was that. There was that. They just leave. Oh, yeah, because that's a different scene.

That's when they smash in the car. That was back when I used to, I used to, you'd watch, you'd jerk it to the fucking VHS tapes of, like, whatever you had available. So it was, like, Tommy Boy, that scene in Titanic, because you really had to, like, put your imagination at the forefront. Oh, the Tommy Boy pool dive? Yeah, dude. Yeah, and then a few rewind, fast-forward, slow motions on that.

Of course. What up? And that was back when you didn't have a slow motion, but you were nice with the remote. Yeah, true. And you're working the play and pause button back and forth, toggling them. And you're like, oh, yeah, real slow. No, unfortunately, even worse. I had one of those TVs.

I don't know if you guys had the ones that it didn't have a remote. So you had to just touch the bottom of the television. Was the VHS built into the TV? Yeah. I was like on my knees in front of the TV. And you mastered like a thumb roll? Yeah, literally. Absolutely.

That's exactly right. You still do that now. Yeah like, a thumb roll? Yeah, literally. Absolutely, that's exactly right. You still do that now. Yeah, it really is like driving stick, dude. I got hands on one, hands on the other, and I'm fucking making both things work, dude. It's kind of beautiful in retrospect. Dude, I'm going back and watching so many fucking movies, because I just didn't see, like, movies.

I'm going back through all the classics. I fucking watched Titanic for the first time. Yeah? What gives? Come on, dude. What gives? I knew the ship went down, but I didn't know it was like a straight hour of it going down. Yeah, it's a little overkill.

Really fucking bumped me out. Just let it go down. That's true. Boy, NC's a bitch like that, isn't it, dude? Yeah, it really is. Didn't know doors had it in them like that. Yeah, they should have built the ship out of all doors. True.

Yeah, they should have. Dude, yeah, that's funny. You didn't like it? No good? No, it's objectively a great movie. Sure. It just really fucked me up. It really is.

It's weird to watch it now, too, like 30 years after the hype of it, too. Because going into it in the 90s, it was like everyone was talking about it. You're just going into it now. You're just like like this is a historical picture for me at this point yeah also the entire theme of it is just about an old lady being a little trickster bitch like she's like they're looking for my amulet where is it at the very end she's like i'm fucking out of the whole time it's like all right people are really spending a lot of money on this it's just about a jew falling in love eight dudes died in a tiny little sub this past year because that bitch was holding on to an amulet.

Yeah. Also, I mean, the violin thing, if I'm dying, I know it's supposed to be like this kind of like melodramatic,

like pretty, not melodramatic, I guess the exact opposite. Cello dramatic? Hello, folks. You wanted Bobby Cruz, you got him. Speaking of,

we're live with Bobby Cruz. What's that? We just broke the stream? Yeah, dude. Crossing streams. Oh, here we are, baby. Finally got the boy down at the domicile. Thanks for coming on, dude.

Dude, of course. Yeah, man. It's nice that the headquarters are in Philae. Yeah, dude. We had to move it over, tax purposes. Yeah, of course. You know, had to save. I have no clue.

Are you guys good at money? No. No, dude. All I know is what's in my checking and that's it. Right. I don't have, nothing's liquid. Is it all liquid? I don't know.

See, that's stuff. I don't know these terms. I don't know. And my dad was like, he was a financial planner, but I think like, well, he also was like a crooked one. And I think because he was, he just never taught me anything about finance. Like he would just do like my taxes for me and, like, do all the stuff. So I don't know, like, yeah, I don't know liquid. I don't know.

I keep my money mostly in paper. Yeah, that's the best way, I think. I mean, I want to get back into coins. I'm just carrying it. I want my fortune in nickels. I do like that. Yeah, I never got a credit card. What?

Yeah. Do you want mine? people yeah please people uh keep making the case for it but i'm not buying it if you don't need it what's what's what's the hesitation to the cc uh i understand that you got to build credit so you can like get a loan for like a house and shit like that or a car but the the thing is like if I don't have the money, why am I getting it? True. I don't even use it for the credit thing. See, that's what's good. Yeah, because that I always, I did at least have.

You don't spend outside of what you have. Yes. But that's like, you're not like the majority of the people in the country that are like, I want that thing. I'm going to get that thing even if it puts me in debt. Right. I look at it as like, I like have my credit card because I can spend about $300 outside of what I want. I keep that balance about $300.

That's a fun amount of money that you can kind of go a little bit over. Yeah. I got $300 staring me in the face every month that I just will not pay off. It takes discipline to stay at $300. Well, it goes up there every so often, dude. You give me an Atlantic City weekend. I got Atlantic City coming up on Thursday. Who knows what the balance is there every so often, dude. You give me an Atlantic City weekend. I got Atlantic City coming up on Thursday. Who knows what the balance is going to look like, dude.

It's going to be a bouncing beam if you ask me. Oh, you're doing one of my favorite things, going to AC in the winter. Yeah, it's the best. It's like running around a museum that closed. Yeah, and all the animals come to life. Yeah, you can do whatever you want. And if you go to Caesars and you're just nice to them, they'll give you a nuts room for like 20 bucks. What do you have to say to them?

Just please and thank you stuff. The rich rolls it up. Holy hooten hour. Just sweet. Also, if you lose a bunch of money, they'll give you a room. That's a fun little loophole too. I could do that. You want me to stay and lose more money tomorrow morning on the way out? I guess I'll do it.

Gambling is not good. I was just the one in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, and it's an indoor smoking one, and the vibe's pretty sad. Yeah. And I was there at like 2 in the morning, and I just got embarrassed because I tried to get a beer, and the lady was like, the bar's closed. So then I went and panic gambled,

so I looked like I had a purpose to be there. So I just let it eat $20 and pretended like I was invested the entire time. It was a really sad sight. Yeah. It's a tough life. Yeah, dude. It was a tough one. Are you a gambler at all?

Once in a while, dude. I like electronic roulette. Really? Yeah. Holy hell. Yeah, and a little bit of slots. I gamble like a divorce lady. I like that roulette is already the most probably rigged game, and then you're like, let me add a computer into it. Yeah, I like spreading 50 cents

across the board and just like... Oh, the electric one like the minimum bet's like three dollars yeah so you just hang get wasted and then just lose everything i always love sitting down and there's always like someone that has that like theory on how to win and like when it comes to roulette they're like i mean it's been 11 uh blacks in a row there's no way it's not we got to get out of here next one's an. What's this, an NBA game? Yeah. There's a red now. Dude, yeah.

I don't know. I don't like that they have people that dress up and watch you do it. Like, black jacket. Like, all the table games, that makes me too scared. You want them in street clothes? Honestly, yeah. Just like a hoodie. I don't like that they have, like, vests.

Why do they have vests? You know what I mean? Like, the black vest, the white button-up. It's too much. It makes me scared. In Vegas now, a lot of them rock. They had them all in Raiders jerseys and then the

WNBA team that just won the championship last year. Whatever their name is. I think it's like the Aces. That's what it is. So they must have just gone around a huge marketing campaign. Every blackjack dealer, roulette dealer was just wearing a jersey over a vest. So it just looked like they were late to their kids.

Oh, damn, that's worse. That is worse. I'm trying to take it back. I was sick. Yeah, I don't know. It was weird. I don't fucking... Dude, I did a good deed the other day.

What'd you do? This is probably evidence of being a bad person, but I did one good thing, and it kind of carried me for the rest of the weekend. Oh, yeah. I was getting into my car, and there was just a cell phone on the ground in the snow and somebody was calling it as I saw it. So I pick it up, I answer, I say, hello, I found whoever's phone this is. I have it. I'm right outside of my building in my apartment if you

want to come. And the girl goes, what? And I was like, I had the phone. She goes, oh my God. And then just hung up. Bad mean lady sounded italian and then called again she was like and i saw the name it was like thomas whatever the z and zazzarelli yeah zazzarelli's pizza yeah and then they were like hello i was like all right what up and they were like who is this and i was like i found your phone outside i'm i have it now i'll hold it for you if you want to come get it and they were were like, hold on, hung up again. This is getting weird. So then I text them because there's a number on there that I could tell was like the boyfriend. And I was like, hello, I have your cell phone. I'm at my apartment. I don't know what else to say to you to make this, you stop being mean to me.

And then they called again and they were like, thank you so much. I'm going to send my boyfriend over now. The boyfriend comes over with his mom and then they're you get the appreciation of like a 50, 60 year old woman good lord above oh yeah the boyfriend came out

grabbed it thanks man and the mom goes thank you so much she was wine drunk it was a Saturday night I can tell nice

she had purple teeth yeah she looked hideous it was really unbelievable but the rest of the day I was like man I guess I'm just kind of like, just your friendly neighborhood Matt Peebles.

So did you even it out? Did you do some bad shit after? No, I didn't do any bad stuff. I mean, I drank some beers. That's a little naughty. That's a little naughty. I kind of kept it kosher for the rest of the night. He's a bad little boy.

But yeah, dude, I thought about it the rest of the night, and I was like, I guess this is just like a new chapter for me. That's got to feel good. This must be what sainthood's like. It really felt pretty nice, dude. And then ever since, it's just been all bad stuff, dude. Been all bad. You're not like a daily good deeds guy?

You don't do like little micro good? I micro dose good deeds, like holding doors and stuff. Oh, yeah. The standards. I get so heated on the unappreciation of a held door. Yeah. It's unreal. Yeah.

But it's all in my head afterwards. I'm in the car just like, oh, no, after you. I'm too much of a coward in the moment. Yeah, true. Nah. Those arguments in your head in your car are pretty embarrassing. Yeah. Nice.

Real nice. That kind of shit. Because you imagine what they'd say, and they're always just like retards in your mind where you'd say something to them and they'd be like, I never even thought about it from that perspective. You're just so much higher advanced than mine. And I'm like, yeah, I guess I am kind of the smartest guy of all time. It's so embarrassing. I just love yelling at people for shit that I fully know that I do, too.

You're like, you're drifting in and out of the lane. And then three seconds later, I'm just looking down at my phone as I'm driving like going three lanes on a bridge. But I mean, if I'm not the one getting in trouble for it, I don't know. It's not me now. Yeah, I feel that. It's not my problem. Yeah. I never really got too pissed on the

brood. I think I just expect it to be bad. Oh, that's good. And then I drive around with Claudia. She's Puerto Rican. She loses her mind. Oh, that's scary. I mean I drive around with Claudia. She's Puerto Rican. She loses her mind. Oh, that's scary. I mean, that's their national pastime. That really is. They love fucking spaz. They put on the... I don't even know. What would it be?

Is it reggaeton that comes out of Puerto Rico? What would it be? Enrique Iglesias? Yeah. Enrique Iglesias? No, just like Puerto Rican porch music. That sounds worse than it is. He describes it perfectly. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You put that on in traffic. Yeah, it's all the gasoline. PRPM, a little PRPM. PRPM? Yeah, dude. Puerto Rican porch music, dude. You never hear that before. Daddy Yankee, I assume, is Puerto Rican porch music.

Yeah, that's got to be. What was his thing? Why does alliteration make it sound so much more racist? Yeah, I know. It really is. Yeah. I like it, though. I like...

Was Daddy Yankee popular? I feel like I can't think of a single song by him. I think in their world. Yeah. I've a Puerto Rican mechanic I just started coming to in Kensington. Nice. He's the fucking man. Really?

Yeah. He speaks like 10 decibels above anyone else. Yeah. And he really doesn't give a fuck. People come in and they annoy him a little bit. He's like, uh-uh, no, go. And they get out of there. Is he also a mechanic that any problem you could bring to him,

he confidently will say yes, and then you leave there fully knowing he doesn't know how to do it. No, this guy knows. That's my Puerto Rican mechanic. Yeah, you have one? I have one in Camden. It's Pensauken, border of Camden.

And every time I go over there, the dude's awesome. He always gets me in last minute. If it's like, hey, I gotta get this thing care of. And I'll just be like, hey, it's something with the... I looked into it, and it's like, one of the cylinders is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, man, I got it. And then I leave, and I can just picture him going, fuck, with I looked into it And it's like One of the cylinders Like yeah yeah yeah I know man

I got it And then I leave And I can just picture him going Fuck I don't have a clue What he said He'll take any work Like he just wants to work I respect that

Like he figures it out The car runs every time It's pretty cheap Like he does shit on the sly Which I love Yeah it's just hard To trust someone I love dudes that do stuff

On the sly That's sick though Like his part's not supposed To go in your car legally. Yeah. Eh, it works. Put a bike in your car. In my ride style.

I want them to cut out the bottom of my car so I can go full Flintstones, dude. You want them to pin your ride? The Puerto Rican mechanic is like, so he's just a fucking loud, cool dude? Yeah. And today I was just sitting there for a few hours because he was changing my rotors and stuff. And there was a black dad and a black kid that came in. And that guy or his assistant took their car and drove it off. And the kid starts crying.

And he said, yo, we just saw his first carjacking. He said, yo, they took daddy's car. And his kid's just, his whole face is wet. First to many, dude took daddy's car. And his kid's just, his whole face is wet. First to many, dude. That's crazy. Getting to hang out at a mechanic is fun. It sucks when you're like, I lost a whole afternoon. But getting to sit around and just spectate the shit that goes on in a mechanic shop is incredible.

It's fun listening to when they're like, what sound is it making? Because that is a big diagnostic part of car stuff. The black dude's probably like, what sound is it making? Because that is like pretty, like a big diagnostic part of car stuff. But like, it's probably like, the black dude's probably like, what sound is it making? He's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I mean, I watch my dad. That's a pretty emasculating thing. It's like to have another grown man ask you to make noises. Because I would go with my dad to like a Pep Boys and I had to listen to him be like, eee.

This is tough. It's more like a Pep Boys and I had to listen to him be like oh it's a Chevrolet okay oh come on he inspired it dude that's good Bobby Pons dude oh man yeah I don't know I can't I'm car stuff fucking drives me nuts I'm anytime I have any car problem like I'm just gonna Uber for the rest of my life. Public transit rules. And then you do any of Uber or public transit, and you're like, oh, maybe not. I told you it's fun to get into being a YouTube-trained mechanic. I've gotten so good. I plugged your tire.

That sounds funny. Funnier than it is, but plugged your tire, and I felt like I'm your dad now. Yeah. I'm his honorary father. You patched it? Father, I can patch tires. I can, what else have I done? Change windshield wipers.

Yeah, it's pretty sexy to watch, unfortunately. That's pretty good. I did a couple things. Can you change oil? I can change oil, but I don't have a good enough jack. I don't trust my car jack. I don't want to get murdered by my car. So big fear there.

So I've just been taking the jiffy lube until I get the jack of my dreams. Brother. It's going to take forever. I did a couple things. I don't know. I ripped out my stereo and put a new one in. Also a Puerto Rican mechanic move. That's just a Puerto Rican move.

Yeah. But it's like an aftermarket Chinese one that just doesn't work a lot. But it works enough. I guess I never really realized how jarring that is. We get in his car, our whole drive is here, and it's like a 2001 Jeep Cherokee with a new-looking middle dash thing that I know I'm like,

that thing, you touch it too hard, that explodes. Oh, yeah. If I hit a bump, it just changes languages. It'll just suddenly go into Chinese and Japanese. Speaks old tongues. Yeah. Did you take account like dad stuff when you got your car or did you have it before the kid uh no so this was a this is a cool situation i inherited this car from beyond the grave from my father uh who passed away and he left it at a mechanic shop and when my dad died

he had like nothing to his name like no money so he just left at this mechanic and i had a car a year ago where the lease was up and uh so i had to like get a new car i was like fuck i can't figure this out and i was like oh that car's still there so i went over the guy fixed it up but like he fixed it up 70 so there was like enough for me to do yeah so it was kind of nice it was kind of like this weird like a papa passed this car onto me but ironically enough my dad could never do a single thing with a car like he would take if his tire was low on air he'd go to the mechanic and like pay the mechanic to like fill his tire with air that's a beautiful girl move yeah that's crazy oh my dad beautiful girl all over town and uh yeah so it weird. So it was like my way of being like, I'm not my father.

I'm going to learn how to fix this car. I'm going to learn how to put an aftermarket Chinese radio in the dash. And it's been really good. It's been running. I don't know. It doesn't have to do a lot of driving, which is nice. I'm jealous of that powerful force of I'm not my dad. Oh, dude.

It seems strong. I'm in a weird mode now where I'm not my dad. Oh, dude. It seems strong. I'm in a weird mode now where I've tried to write jokes about it, but it's more just like writing a novel about trying to conquer the fears that my father had. And I'm in this weird mode now with that. Like I told you about that before. Like he was deathly afraid of bridges, I found out, after he died. And when I found out, I didn't realize it.

That's when I went and started just running on the Ben Franklin Bridge. Just like something in my brain was like, you should go run at the bridge. And like I found out, I didn't realize it. That's when I went and started just running on the Ben Franklin Bridge. Just like something in my brain was like, you should run at the bridge. And like I'm halfway over. I'm like, fuck it. Did this. Dad, what's up? But I had like a good relationship with him. So it's weird.

That's what I did. That makes you care. You're carrying on. I actually hate it more that you do that. You're going to conquer your dad's fears. I don't know. My dad didn't fear anything. He's just like waiting for this fucking thing to end this entire time, dude.

Kev just wanted to head out. That's the thing is you'll find out after when he passes, you're going to learn all of his fears. Your dad didn't fear anything. He's just, like, waiting for this fucking thing to end this entire time, dude. Kev just wanted to head out. That's the thing is you'll find out after when he passes, you're going to learn all of his fears. Your mom's going to unload. She'll be like, you know he was scared of ducks? You're like, seriously? Do you guys have DDs? No, mine's still around. He's just kind of checking the clock.

His dad knocked on Evan's door a few times. He's at the fourth quarter. Yeah, he ripped a heart attack, and then he was like, whatever. Like a champ. Yeah, that's cool. My dad's a good dad. He's a great dad. Yeah, he had a heart times. He's at the fourth quarter. Yeah, he ripped a heart attack and then he was like, whatever. Like a champ. Yeah, that's cool. My dad's a good dad. He's a great dad. Yeah, he had a...

Can he adopt me now that I don't have a living father? He already has a daughter. Come on, guys. I don't mean any of that shit, dude. I'm being a prick. You have a fully living father?

Yeah, man. Old fat dad. Yeah, fat dad? Yeah. Has he always been fat? Since I've? Yeah, man. Old fat dad. Yeah, fat dad? Yeah. Has he always been fat? Since I've known him, dude. What, did you guys meet in the 90s? Yeah, around the 90s.

Actually, you probably did meet him in the 90s, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah, he is. Yeah. That's how math works. So he was, because I was going to say, that's going to be fun to watch your dad get fat. But like, he was just actively a fat guy. He was fit in the 80s and then full of fat.

Oh, former fit. Yeah. I feel like every dad was formerly fit. Like really fit. Of course. Yeah. And then if they get fit again, they're leaving your mom. Yeah, true.

That's usually what happens. Oh, my God. If my dad got jacked and left my mom, that would be a tough one. Especially now. Especially now. If you're stuck with him after a heart attack. Because he would be like, he would leave my mom and then try to date and hate women and become an incel. I'm certain my dad would be a Ben Shapiro guy.

You think so? Immediately. Yeah? Yeah, for sure. Well, you got to walk dads through YouTube. Yes. Because they can go dark pretty fast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. But my dad's real into UFO shit, which is fun. Yeah. That's awesome. But that can lead into some dark holes. That's where mine is. He's a big alien guy. But he's not on YouTube.

He just stays on history channel alien videos. That's good. That's the perfect speed. It's pretty surface level. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Once I get in there and I see the search history dominate, the debate stuff of prove me wrong, I'm like, oh, boy.

We may be too far gone at this point. Yeah. Yeah, my dad's also too lib, so that helps. Oh, really? Yeah. Lib and UFO, that's crazy. Yeah, I propelled for a little bit. I got red-pilled.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, that I would just argue everywhere. I didn't even necessarily believe it but it was like the the first like fucking louder with crowder video i saw i was like whoa dude they were there they were nice when you first saw them back in that like 17 18 videos like that that like you would watch a few and you're like ah damn it they got me like you're like i didn't realize this was me getting red pilled yeah i thought this was just a cool concept it's got everybody's got a video and then it's like video four it's like here's some ideas i think you should also share and like god damn it yeah you

had to get red pilled at some point i think it's like a rite of passage you dip your toe in the water i had about a year yeah try both you get like for freshman year college like senior year high school you get to be like man maybe I am the smartest and women are dumb. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah, that is nice. Yeah. Yeah. They'll like, you know, give you like freedom of speech stuff.

Yeah. Gun stuff. You're like, all right, that's kind of cool. And they're like, what if we cut Dyke's clits off? And you're like, whoa. You had me, man. You had me. Yeah, that one you got to like turn the video off for a little bit and just sit and ponder where things have led to this point.

And you're like, hmm. Well. Yeah, it's that moment where like the Gravitron is going full speed and they just stop it immediately and you fly. You're like, damn. That was fun, though. You got to detox a little Jordan Peterson. You got to listen to him talk about things that have nothing to do with you when you're

17. He's talking about like pronouns. At that point, I had never met anybody that talked about their pronouns. I was like, I'm so sick of this bullshit I did not affect me at all. Was that so, was like pronoun stuff happening when you were in college? That was like this earlier part of it. Yeah, like because I'm 27 so you're probably, wait you're 28? I'm 30. Yeah, so it's around like the same thing like yeah, that's when it kind of started to like enter the conversation

But I just didn't know anybody that even associated with it at all, but I've still got angry enough about it for about a year yeah me too yeah it was just ridiculous you had nobody to talk to about it too i'd bring it to my parents they're like what the fuck are you saying it was nuts there there's some people too were uh like i would defend them i'm like that that guy's not racist and then like they totally are like anthony cumia fucking hates black people that guy hates black people so much he really does didn't he like go up to a lady and like record her and call her like a fucking animal in the middle of new york or something that's like multiple times i think it's like uh that's one of his bits like that's a recurring segment wow what a retirement plan he's on twitter all the time like calling him animals that that's why Like I didn't

I got into I got into Kumi How nuts is that The Kumi is off the chain I was never into Opie and Anthony Like cause it was It wasn't really a thing

In Philly as much I feel like Like Opie and Anthony Wasn't As prevalent But I got into him Later on when Like comics that I like

Were on On his network So like When Gillis and Tommy Pope Had that affair one I got into him later on when comics that I like were on his network. So when Gillis and Tommy Pope had that affair one, I got into that network, and I didn't know the network was ran by... But then it was also Gavin McInnes was on every show. Yeah. And you're like, oh, okay. I should have seen the writing on the fucking wall there.

I don't know. Yeah. Is that guy still hating the world and pissing everyone off? He's just a full-on troll, right? Yeah. I think these guys are all fragile. Because the Proud Boys was started as a joke, pretty much, right? Yeah.

Like, the initiation was, like, you get punched by a group and you have to name five cereals. Yeah. Yeah. While you're getting knocked out. Yeah. Wait, for real? Yeah. For real?

It might still be that. You have to name five cereals. I thought that was, like, when people would twist your nipple. Actually, this looks like we're about to have an initiation in this basement now. Yeah, it really is. Not the best look. I'm glad that you stuck with just a gray curtain again, because if we got a red one behind us, we're fucked. Just get an American flag behind us.

It is funny, though. If you toss an American flag up on something now, it sends a message you don't want. I have a great tank top that I love. It's just a United States tank top, and it's red. And I wore it once running, and just everyone in my town scoffed at me. And I was like, it's just a great tank top that I love. It's just a United States tank top, and it's red. And I wore it once running, and just everyone in my town scoffed at me. And I was like, it's just a good tank top. I don't know what you want me to do. Just a Blue Lives Matter tank top.

Yeah. On the back, it did have a skull and crossbones and a Punisher logo. I mean. Yeah, but that's always going to happen. It's Target, dude. It's what they sell. I didn't make the clothes. It is funny going to Target now, and you'll see, like, a Rage Against the Machine t-shirt.

Yeah, you're like, okay, they've raged more than enough, dude. I thought these guys were fucking nuts. Yeah, all those bands. Those bands in the 90s that were all anti-establishment are now, I don't know. It feels like they've kind of shifted at least. I mean, I guess that was more year speed. There are some. I mean, there are still like the punk rock dudes that didn't give a fuck about making money that are still flying that flag.

Like, Bad Religion type guys. Like, what's the dude from the singer from Bad Religion? He owns, I think he owns a record company, too. But, like, he's still, like, an anti-establishment guy. But he also, like, just lives in a bungalow in, like, the suburbs of L.A. Yeah. He's not in, like, a mansion. So, like, he still is just, just like that punk rock guy yeah greg

geffen yes graff and grow is it greg gethard graffin greg graffin that's our name to say but like he just looks like a college professor now too that's what's hilarious too the dudes that weren't like like face tattoo punk rock guys yeah yeah all those guys now just look like college professors yeah it looks like see all the all look like James Taylor a little bit. Yeah, I don't like that. They're all like brewery dudes. Right. He does like that.

He put a flannel and like a flat brim hat on him. He's like, dude, this one's actually pretty hoppy. But like you can tell in that picture right there where he's holding up two fingers. It looks like he's either the proudest proud boy or he's giving a talk about like social injustice. Yeah, absolutely. Doctor Strange and some spells you don't really know that you can never tell what these guys do you still see that like you i mean you were in the the music scene for a while and like touring and everything yeah is it funny now

seeing like dudes that are aging and not changing at all yeah like still leaning into the emo kid thing at like 39 yeah it's really weird stuff Because When I was getting into it I saw those dudes That were like 35 And like still like Slumming it in vans

I was like These are the coolest guys ever Yeah And then Like around when I was 25 I saw it I was like Ugh dude

And they're They're all singing about Like 15 year old stuff Yeah That's the problem Especially when they're now Still singing the songs From when Like I saw They're all singing about 15-year-old stuff. Yeah, that's the problem. Especially when they're now still singing the songs from when... I saw... I think the starting line is doing it.

They're doing a starting line night at the Wings game. And I was just like, are you still singing the songs that you sang when you wrote them when you were 14? Yeah. You've got to write all new ones, but then those are going to be dog shit. So, I don't know. That is weird. My mom can't tell me what to do is like we actually died of congestive heart failure You're living in her house, so I can imagine she might have some say dude

That is nuts that shit is fucking goofy I was saying about that whole concept of just like having a will like I mean you I guess you're familiar with it But like just I need your parents die and you get stuff is just a weird sequence of events, which I understand you have to distribute their stuff. But it's like they die and it's like kind of like your birthday. Well, I told you when my dad died, he didn't have a will. I just got like a couple of cool hats. Did he have a way? That was it.

Yeah. No will, no way. But yeah, so I got like a couple of cool hats. But like it's so sad. Yeah. Wow. That's, I didn't know that. There's like nothing.

And the car. And the car. Well, that I had to buy the car basically from the mechanic. Like I had to pay him to fix it. So, but no, it was like, but if he passed away when I was a teenager and he was doing well, there's probably a lot that I probably would have stand to gain in a will. Yeah. So like he lost all of it.

So that's what it is. It's weird too. Like you got to like pick, like, he lost all of it. So that's what it is. It's weird, too. Like, you got to, like, pick, I guess, who gets your kid. My wife and I talk about it all the time. We need to start a will. And we also have to elect who gets our daughter if anything were to happen to both of us. That's probably me. So I think I'm just going to have, like, a bracket-style tournament of just local friends

and see who wins. That'll be fun. Just put them through, like, you know, we were talking about having, like, a little Olympics. Put my friends through, like, child-raising tests. We're, uh, the do-rag is doing the gay-off again. So whoever wins that might be good. What's the gay-off? The gay-off is a series of competitions

to see who is the most gay. And if you win, you are gay you get eliminated and that means you're good what's the can you give us some examples the the last challenge was um it was like a relay race where i forget like exactly but like you had to like either like roll a blunt then like hammer a nail into wood and then shoot a shot oh so you're doing cool shit to prove you're not gay yes okay you guys like all right we got three popsicles on the table we need sticks within 20 seconds yeah this is for honor okay and uh and uh ben stopped he uh it was the last thing and he made the basket

and he he like celebrated he thought he won but he threw it underhand, so he was gay. So he won the whole thing. Damn. Okay, I like that then. You guys are competing. It's essentially competing for who's the straightest at the same time. Of course. Because if you win all the events, you're the straightest.

Yeah, that's great. Okay. I hate to say it. I might be able to give Ben a run for his money, dude. The three things you named there, I couldn't do two of them, and it would be bad to watch. It's hilarious, too, that the last one shooting a run for his money, dude. The three things you named there, I couldn't do two of them. And it would be bad to watch. It's hilarious, too, that the last one, shooting a basket, you can do well. That's about it.

Rolling a blunt, I would just dump it all over myself for about 20 minutes. It's you looking up on your phone how to roll a blunt. YouTube video, you got it propped up. I would put the nail through the blunt because I couldn't get it to stick. Well, I can't do any of it either, but I love judging. You're a double agent the entire time. Of course. Yeah, and it's all Drew's brainchild.

It's just great seeing him sit there like a boy prince calling people gay. You are gay. I love it when he has dry erase boards all over his room. And he's like, all right, if I just, all right, here. Is it hammering a nail? Is that manly enough? Let me workshop something else here. That's just so funny.

Calling somebody a boy prince is maybe the funniest way you can describe it. Just like sitting with both legs off the same side of a dog that you're riding. It's dropsy. Yeah, he's on his job for shit. Yeah, dude. Yes. What's that? What's the movie about, like, the Crusades?

Kingdom of Heaven? I don't think I've ever seen that one. Yeah. So wait, what other movie you said you would of? I don't think I've ever seen that one. Yeah. I'm just saying. So wait, what other movie you said you would get into movies? What other ones? Oh, brother. Did you miss out on?

I saw Casino for the first time. Oh, have you seen Casino? Mm-mm. You've never seen it? Not allowed. Got to go to bed too early. It is a long one. It's a classic.

Casino's long. It's classic. Casino was a, when you had to rent it on Vhs it was a two vhs as well as titanic you're picking some long flicks yeah you got it yeah what were your thoughts on casino it was pretty sick the uh i like pretty much any movie that i watched for more than 20 minutes yeah i'm in the same boat i've uh i've bailed on a lot of movies recently like 15 minutes in i never used to do that yeah and i think it's more prevalent in movies now. Like, what was that?

I finished the movie, but that Leave Nothing Behind movie, or Leave the World Behind or whatever it's called. Yeah, I didn't like that. Did you end up watching it? No, I just didn't like that it was like Obama produced it and it's about the world ending. It's like, dude, you don't get the fuck around about this stuff. You are the guy.

It's a weird one. But that was one where I was ready to turn it off 15 minutes in. I stuck it out, and then the ending fucking pissed me off. That's funny if he's giving notes. Maybe the wife's a man the whole time? Maybe something like that? Why do you keep bringing that up? I don't know. Maybe she's a 6'4 man. I don't know, guys. Maybe he's got a really hot chef,

but the chef can't swim too good. I don't know. Is that good for the storyline, guys? I would watch a fucking documentary just about Michelle Obama versus Brittany Griner and who can get out of Russia first That'd be a sick one dude Monster date for Russia Monster date for Russia Alien vs. Predator

Get out too. Yeah, I like that dude That'd be so sick. The Michelle Obama stuff is the most ridiculous but fun conspiracy theory like it really is All that shit is nuts What's the what's the proof that she's a guy i think it's just like there's three clips and it's just like one she's running and it looks like there might be a penis in her skirt oh i didn't see that she's hitting like a like a quick step to get into a car yeah and the the fold of the dress is not doing her any favors when you watch it you're like it looks like a sweatpants flopper kind of. Oh, wow.

Like in that moment. But it's like dudes are breaking it down like Zapruder film footage. Wow. That is sick. Back and to the left. I think it's just like, it's like a little hard to find pictures of her as a kid. Okay. But also just that time in the world too. I think I have seven pictures of my parents.

That's it. Like, yeah. Meanwhile, there's like a thousand of me and now I have a pictures of my parents. That's it. Like, yeah. Meanwhile, there's like a thousand of me and now I have a million of my kid on my phone. Yeah.

Yeah, that's some of the ones you like. I get sucked into like late night TikTok conspiracies. Like the one that my most recent one is that Donald Trump

is a time traveler. That's a great one. That's good. I like that one. There's a book in the 1880s and it's about a boy named Barron who meets a mentor named Don and Don like teaches him all thiss and it's about a boy named baron trump who meets a mentor named don and don

like teaches him all this stuff and don's boss is his name is like pence and then they go into the future i swear to god i was listening to some guy talking about today i forget what the book's called but it is like that's the fun part you don't remember the details i never do oh i'm just laying in bed like exactly yeah i mean damn just picturing like a fucking Wild West picture. That shit's so funny. Well, well, well. I hope that's what it is. I hope he's an alien.

I hope aliens are just, we find out, are just like all the weird people. True. That we've had in society the whole time. Yeah, everybody thinks time travel is going to be geniuses. What if it's just the Tards traveling throughout time? Maybe it's like if you get to a certain level of intellect, whether high or low, that's when you can usurp dimensions. It gets to the point in the timeline where they're like, yo, I'm getting sick of these people. We could send them back.

We could Marty McFly them real quick. True. Yeah, I like that. I hope Donald Trump can travel through time. That's a good rabbit hole, though. Yeah. I get stuck in those fucking bullshit videos of those dudes on the street asking drunk ladies questions. Oh, my God.

I just saw one in Austin. I can't stop. Yeah. Oh, did you see it live? You got the witness one? I saw it happening on 6th Street. Was it the little Hispanic dude doing it? Because I know he does it there, and he drives me out of my damn head.

I just saw the back of this dude. So I don't know. But yeah, that shit is so crazy. I have like a fantasy with those where they just throw a drunk lady a fucking curveball. Yeah. Where like, you know, it's like, what's your body count? Yeah. And like, the size battery.

They just be like, it's free will and illusion. They just fucking blow their minds. Their head just explodes like those awesome power booby robots. They're actually prepared for it. The fembots. She's like, I don't care about my body. It's free will and illusion. She's like, well, is repetition even something we choose or something that we do

innately? It's kind of an interesting question. She's pulling her skirt down all the time. I love that. That's so funny. It could be great for ladies if they nail it. True. And I think they could. I think they could too. Yeah. And I think they could. I think they could, too. Yeah. We got Ruth Peter Ginsburg. What's she up to these days?

What the hell happened to her big ass, dude? She's down in Austin. She died hard as hell, huh? Yeah. She died hard. Yeah. I mean, those, yeah, the fucking interview ones and then the, like, the edgelord debate ones where it's, like, three dudes and, like, nine Instagram models.

Yes. And it's just them, the guys calling them whores the whole time. Yeah, that's nuts thing now Yeah, I like the one where what's that one lady or the the trans lady that went fire? Well, it's just like a fucking whale the big I think it's actually a woman really the big body wide body Calabasas chick Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, that's unfortunate. Yeah. She looks Samoan, kind of. I think she's kind of a bro, though, from my understanding.

Some of the clips I've seen, she's like, whatever, I just kind of do my own thing. It's like, yeah, I mean, you're the Kool-Aid man. You're the biggest lady. Yeah. You are the biggest lady. I mean, she's probably getting mad dick. She's gotta be. When the exposure's that high, I don't care who you are.

Exactly. You're getting... You're catching it. Yeah. You're a glory hound. Yeah. I donound yeah how wide your face is you're getting it truly is her face looks like sky zone she there is those people that just fat themselves into looking kind of asian yeah it's true it's unfortunate but it's like you do hit a point where you're like oh man my face skin is about to stretch in a different direction. I got to figure some things out. It's pretty nuts stuff.

Yeah, dude, I like that. I'm at the point now where I'm deciding if I should go there weight-wise. Oh, you're on your which way should you go point? Yeah. Fork in the road? Yeah, because this is probably the fattest I've been. Yeah? Yeah.

So I have a real choice to make. Dude, it stinks. I hate it. Okay. Yeah. Because there are some people that are like, it's fucking going great. But that's good. You recognize you hate it. What do you want to do to get rid of it?

I started jujitsu. That's fun. See, that's the thing. You've got to find a fun way to get rid of it. Otherwise, it's just going to be depressing. Yeah, I just can't go to the gym again. That shit sucks. It's like counting reps, being on the elliptical or whatever, just looking at the time go down.

You've got, like, an Adderall addiction. True. That's sick, dude. Oh, I did that, and I was a real nightmare. Really? No good? You weren't good on the Adderall? No, I thought I was great on it.

Oh, yeah, that does trick you a little bit, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That is one of the... But I was calling people every morning, because you you got to be careful how you catch the wave. Yeah. Oh, you take it to the first thing in the morning, huh? Yeah. Oh my God.

And yeah, it was either like I did exactly what I should be doing or like I'm switching between two tabs for six hours. Yep. And then I'm reaching out to friends being like, dude, we can do so many amazing things. I would get like high off making plans. Yeah. That was my favorite shit. Oh, dude. Making plans to make plans was the best yeah you got to

do responsible you got to only use it when you drink using it to do productive things I think bad but if you use it just to go see if you could drink for 14 hours to do is abuse it yeah that's exactly right it's only time you make great choices yeah get hammered and just watch fucking scenes from Manchester by the sea on an Adderall dude you're watching sad movies on adderall hello folks come on by myself in my own apartment whimper crying how have you not killed yourself i'm working on it i try i was i we're always goofy movies in my house and i tried to like recently i was like let's watch a serious movie like let's watch something you know with some depth or like something sad or something scary so we tried to

watch uh a24 movies like we tried to watch smile and my wife was just not on board and then she fell asleep and I was like I can't just watch smile alone now like kind of half out of it half asleep I'm like this is gonna end up bad for me I didn't like that you see I always gotta watch silly goofy happy movies smile you see that no I didn't write that one. I always got to watch silly, goofy, happy movies. Smile, you see that? No, I haven't seen it. I've seen the trailer. Yeah, the trailer fucked me up. We're big trailer watchers, and we watch them until my wife passes out, and then daddy gets

to watch The Righteous Gemstones for the seventh time. Oh, nice. Great show, though. I don't know if you guys have partaken in The Righteous Gemstones. I haven't seen it. I heard great things. Quality program. It's funny. That show's good yeah highly recommended dude it's it's got some zingers it's so good it's a bride with an incredible cast around them too so you can't lose that dude's so fucking funny and he's not even like the funniest one in the show like there there's weird

you should watch it just to find out the character bj because i think if they were to recast it i think you could be bj i'm BJ. Yeah. That's sick. He's just a cuck boyfriend. Oh, okay. Well... I mean it in the nicest way. I think you could crush the role of BJ. Folks have feelings, but I hear what you're coming from, dude. A girl hit me with that last night outside of a show. We were talking about

something. I was like... She was saying how she was Jewish and I was talking about how I was like, oh, my grandfather converted to Catholicism to marry... Or my great-grandfather to marry my great-grandmother. And I was like oh my grandfather converted to Catholicism to marry or my great grandfather to marry my great grandmother and I was like just so he converted for that pussy and she was like oh yeah I should have known you were Jewish you can always see it in a big nose

and I was like well I never knew I had a big nose till tonight sweetheart like what the fuck I don't think it's that big it's a pointer right see that's not a Jew nose you have a fair nose yeah you have a trustworthy nose you have a total Nordic nose I don't know trustworthy nose. You have a tunnel-digging nose. I don't have a Nordic nose. I don't know.

But she hit me with it, and I was just like, well, good evening to you as well. That's crazy. Some lady calling you Bixchnas. Yeah. Tell her you're going back to the tunnels, dude, with your brothers, with your homies, the Hasidic fellows. She was Ukrainian. Yeah, she was.

Her parents were Ukrainian. I found this out amidst crowd work, and then just bombed with trying to do Ukrainian. Sorry for your parents' crowd work. That was real fun. I bet a lot of people you know died. That's pretty much it. I was like, she said she drank, because I was asking about people's first drink they had under age

and she said she drank horseradish vodka and I was like, where? I was like, that's either you were at the best brunch ever or in the third world country and she's like, oh, my parents are from the Ukraine. I was like, oh's either you were at the best brunch ever or in the third world country. And she's like, oh, my parents are from the Ukraine. I was like, all right, here we go. Let's dive in. I hate that shit, dude.

I don't know enough about the wars, though. That's the thing. I don't know enough to make it funny. Yeah, I tapped out from everything, dude. It's so fun. Not knowing the news is the best. Yeah, dude, life rules. It's incredible.

If you focus on just the The shit that happens In your like Immediate area Day to day You're like Oh life isn't too terrible The world's not too terrible One day it's gonna end But fuck it

That's just gonna happen Like that then Yeah Probably not for me I'll be alright I'll just duck If the sun explodes I'll be A-OK

True I'll be AOC Do you gotta get into AOC What the hell happened get into some AOC? What the hell happened to her? I don't know. I think she's just being fucking sexy as hell somewhere. Yeah, she's slender.

I can't help how fucking hot she is. And she's so mean, and I know she'd be so goddamn mean to me. And I think I'm kind of like that. That's kind of nice, though. I know. I think I'd kind of be into it, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I like a lady who's just a fucking bitch.

I really do, dude. My girlfriend's too nice to me. I'm like, why don't you call me fat or something? And she's like, you're just doing your best. And I'm like, you don't even care about me. Yeah. I'll say this. She definitely cares about what she's doing because she could probably make 10 times more

right now if she just had an OnlyFans. They're loaded, dude. If she just gave up politics and had an OnlyFans. I feel like she's not one of those politicians that does well financially, though. Or secretly she does. She owns Brooklyn. We're probably not far away from that. Like a politician who moonlights is like a millionaire OnlyFans girl.

Well, wait. Think about this. We were talking about this today with one of my friends. It's like everyone keeps getting mad about everyone wants non-career politicians now to run. Like Donald Trump. He's a non-career politician. And everyone's like, I want a non-career politicians now to run like donald trump like he's a non-career politician and everyone's like i want a non-career politician but it's like that's the only job where you want someone that's never done the fucking job yeah true you're just like i want a mechanic that's

never seen a car to fix my fucking car right now i'm gonna drain the swamp in the fucking mechanic community he's been corrupt for too long all the mechanics are fucking kids like we gotta fix the problem Yeah, just kids get like it's automized with wrenches Yeah, we were alive Do this oh yeah YouTube is fucking brutal now you guys get pinged anything Yeah, the what we were doing that's in, and they're just pulling it for anything. You can't curse within the first 10 minutes. Yeah, we've heard a bunch of that.

10 minutes, Dan, we're doing first minute. Yeah. Unless you're running ads, you should be fine. Yeah, true. Yeah, like we're A-OK. You're not making any money off of this. Nobody's paying us to do this. We'd leave other obligations to do this.

Yeah. But that's crazy. I don't understand why. I guess they could do what they want. What's the competitor to YouTube? Vimeo. I think Vimeo is the number one thing. LiveLeak?

Rumble? Oh, true. I've heard about Rumble. Is Rumble still around? I think Rumble is also you've got to get red-pilled enough. That's like a big right-wing thing, right? True. Yeah, a lot of those dudes are going there.

But, yeah, I mean, YouTube's probably the best we got. It is crazy. But what are you going to do? Yeah, it's like the entire point of the country is to not let these big companies just be the only option. It's like, nah, we actually are. And we also tell you what to say. How about that, folks? Yeah, you can only get YouTube on your just Apple iPhone.

I'm going to fight Mrs. YouTube, dude. I'm done with her bullshit. Where is she at, dude? I think she's a powerful black woman. Where are they hiding Mrs. YouTube? dude. I'm done with her bullshit. Where is she at, dude? I think she's a powerful black woman. Where are they hiding Mrs. YouTube? Yeah, it's fucking on-site. She's getting body bagged. Dear Mrs. YouTube, it's your boy.

I'm gonna do the Eminem's Stand song about Mrs. YouTube. I'm a big fan and I slowly turn on her throughout the song. And then I drive in the rain. Dear Tube. Just got demonetized again. I upload and you still ain't commenting. What the hell? I thought I was your friend.

Speaking of, I went through an Eminem wormhole the other day. Man, he just gets you when he gets you, dude. Yeah. He does. He's on a good run right now, too, with the Lions on a playoff run. Did you see him at the last game? They showed him on the screen and then they all started, everyone started singing,

lose yourself in unison. So then the stadium started playing it and everyone's going fucking nuts. And I was like, Oh, I've been in the link when like they play that Rocky bell and you feel like that chill inside of you. I was like Eminem in the fucking lion stadium when they've been dog shit for like 30 years.

Yeah. That's gotta be a great feeling. So I'm hoping they take advantage of it. And they were talking about like, we got to have him like lead the team out onto the fucking field. Do like a Ray Lewis dance in the tunnel. That is sick to have like your own like theme song,

like the Rocky theme song, the fucking Eminem thing. Yeah. Yeah. Associate it with your city. Yeah. Yeah. I want to start a team

where it's just like the theme song is just like rain that i can fall asleep to you ever do that on youtube at late night just throwing a rain thing brother oh dude pop a melatonin and go to sleep i've been taking nap rain naps oh it's so good too nice baby so good we i started getting into it because uh we have my daughter has a sound machine in her room all night and then like we can hear it on the monitor. So now if I don't hear it, I can't sleep. So I have secondhand ASMR. Is it just like...

Yeah, I think hers is ocean, I believe. It's a crashing wave icon, so it's an ocean sound. It's a constant breaking wave. Yeah, but then it's broken up with an ad where it's like, what's up, you gay pussy? You don't want a Nissan, dude? Dude, it did that the one day I was doing... I it's like what's up you gay pussy? You don't want a Nissan dude. Dude, it did that the one day I was doing a, I finally was like I'm gonna start getting

to meditating like this is probably like two years ago and I sat out back on my porch and I was like I'm gonna listen to this video my headphones on and it was like right at the moment where I was about to like oh shit I get meditating and it was like Ridge Wallet. Is your wallet fucking gay? I was like damn it, it is but I'm trying to find Nirvana. Yeah. Is your wallet fucking gay? I was like, damn it, it is, but I'm trying to find Nirvana. Yeah. Nirvana. Do you want their greatest hits?

I'm like, god damn it. Meditating has like a 90% conversion rate to jacking off, at least in my experience. Oh, yeah. If I think long enough, I'm like. Do you want tits? Oh, shit. Tits are big as hell. Oh, fuck.

I forgot tits are so big. Meditating so hard that you kids are thinking about latinas oh yeah dude it's every time dude your hand is sexy dude because it's quiet guided like meditation or like a guided nap thing it's they just use the sexiest voice yeah because then you're like all right well now i'm gonna search man voice guided meditation then i'm losing the gay off, I need a lady at least talking me into nirvana. True. And then she's getting me all torqued. Yeah, I know. It's a problem. Yeah, I'm taking the deep breaths. I'm thinking about titties on the inhale, ass on the exhale. Getting harder. You're starting to levitate on your own boner.

That's what the monks are doing over there, those fucking freaks. I knew it the whole time. They just sit there thinking about poops. Yeah, I don't like those guys because they act like they're above it. Oh, yeah, get over yourself. Yeah, dude. I could do that, too. I had a friend from high school who was a huge stoner.

He went vegan, and then his next move was he became a monk. He became a Greek Orthodox monk, just moved to Florida, studied under the U.S. version of the He became a Greek Orthodox monk, just moved to Florida, studied under the US version of the Pope in the Greek Orthodox religion, and then just came back home and wasn't a monk anymore. He was a dropout monk.

He was just a stoner monk, and now he's just a happy dad in Princeton. Weird saga. So interesting. It's nuts, dude. He could probably still get his GED, though, if he wanted to. Dude, we, like, threw him a going-away party where we just all got shit-faced at high, and he just hung out.

He was like, yeah, I kind of can't do this anymore. We're like, well, we still can. Like, we want to send you off right. Yeah, what do they even do? Just eat berries? What are you doing? They would drink, because he came back the one time, and he brought one of his monk buddies and uh they were like hanging out in the backyard they were like fully robed up and all and they were hanging out with us like we

were out back smoking like drinking and the guy was like brother gregory do we have anything we could fortify this uh blah blah with and he's like i believe we do so they were allowed to like add booze to drinks and stuff like i mean mean, monks are the ones that made beer. So it's like... True. Monks made beer? Yeah, monks invented beer. They might be the most righteous dudes.

Yeah, they are making a bit of a comeback. They're just out there trying. They're just the bros. He said, and he was like, it really was just me and the dudes hanging out, and we would just talk religion. I was like, sounds pretty fucking tight. Is there anything we could fortify yeah brother gregory i remember that vividly brother gregory is anything we could

fortify this with he's like i believe there is like go fortify it up dude we're fortifying some blunts over here damn i didn't know monks are fucking brewery guys yeah i had a dropout monk first gotta be people in kens now being like, is there anything we could fortify this heroin with? Fentanyl perhaps? I just watched that Channel 5

Kensington doc. Did you see that? He did one. Andrew Callahan, formerly disgraced sex pervert, Andrew Callahan. And he did one

just focusing on Kensington. And it's really good. It's an hour long. In the middle of it, it gets kind of annoying. He gets into like, he's like, what can be done about this? You're like, I don't know. You're not fucking doing anything about it. There's so many videos of that now.

People just going into Kensington and be like, oh my God, you're probably so upset about what's happening to you. He talks about that. He's like, this is not helping the thing. And I was like, you're doing that thing. You're talking about doing that thing on the thing you're doing. Yeah. There's that sick live stream. Have you ever watched it?

Yeah. Of K&A. It's top-notch. It's Kensington and Aramingo. Yeah. It's just a 24-7 live stream. It's a 24-7 camera. Yeah, just point it right at it.

And people are in the chat, and they'll see someone nodding out. They're like, zoom in. And they just go in on that one person. Chat clip that. We're going to get this guy stuck in the dick for that one person. Chat clip that. There's a guy sucking a dick for heroin right there. W's in the chat for this guy. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah. You

Narcan't believe it. That is a huge opportunity to just hop on, be a streamer, and have the background be Kensington. Like, all these dudes are making millions of dollars. Just let that be the backdrop. Yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful, dude. That's an untapped well.

Sometimes I do like seeing the heroin honeys. Yeah, they look... They're some beautiful heroin ladies. Yeah, your blisters are shining in the night. Catch them early. Yeah, right when they hit the street. Yeah. It is sad. Yeah, you do get caught with a couple.

It's so sad. Just like shows or stuff right around there, like Fishtown. And you're like, I probably would. I may. couple just like shows or stuff like right around there like fishtail and you're like i probably would i may i may i just saw a whole thing about some fucking uh girl broke up with the dude and then put out this thing saying that the dude knowingly gave her aids so you know the couple breaks up and she makes up a rumor and screenshots of texts she puts them all together she's texting herself about the guy being like i gave it to you because i didn't want you to leave me like i wanted to make this last and then put it out so everybody who knows him sees it and it also goes viral on twitter and instagram and shit yeah and then a week later it comes out where the guy's like yeah i just do not

have aids jesus christ which is a bit of a like let's go like a practical jokers they're in there yeah she just had an earpiece they're like all right first off see if he'll hold that melon next to you at the supermarket Also tell everyone he gave you a There are season away from domestic terrorism yeah, those cute balls no no bounds It's just them three now right I think so they just have like guests on just a cruise The awful wrestling people from Philly are going on the cruise too. Oh, yeah. Yeah It's just them three now, right? I think so. They just have guests on. They're doing a cruise. The awful wrestling people from Philly are going on the cruise, too. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is nuts. They're going to wrestle on the cruise. I've been seeing a bunch of that. Sink it, Titanic. Let's do it. All comics always talk about those cruises. They're like, man, it is fun, but it's like you get to really see who the true Impractical

Jokers fans are. Yeah. And they're like, it's a fucking crew when you're on that boat. And you're stuck on that boat. Sure. I love it. Yeah, that's Americana. Impractical Jokers is still my number one thing in a hotel.

As soon as I get in the hotel, throw it on TV, it's on the whole time you're in there. Yeah, it's nice. I think true TV doesn't have any other shows. The Impractical Jokers getting hijacked by Somali pirates. That is maybe the greatest outcome. What if they Titaniced? any other shows. The Impractical Joker is getting hijacked by Somali pirates. This may be the greatest outcome. What if they Titanic'd? What if they just

fucking murder and sell doing the I'll never let go rows in the front of the boat? Yeah, dude. Four friends compete to save each other.

One glacier. Four friends are extorted for money on the high seas. I need it dude I need them to just start getting into it Just fucking put a pipe bomb under a park bench Just get into the domestic territory

I want to see the impracticals go down in that That underwater thing that got smushed True yeah That the really rich guys are in I want to see the four of them go down in that thing Yeah Oh yeah that would be fucking beautiful You know that

So even if they did make it down there in that vessel There was no windows in it. So everything they were seeing was through a computer screen, like through a monitor. So they got down there, and even if they did see the Titanic, they're still just looking at it the same way you did watching Titanic the movie. Just on a fucking Sony monitor in a shitty little tin can. They're all just freaking out. They're like, God. That shit.

Apparently it was real tight. And I keep thinking about like, right as they're about to die, if like two of the dudes' foots touched and they had that weird moment where they both feel gay and then right there they get like sucked into oblivion.

What a tough way to go out where you're embarrassed. Yeah, because they said that they just turned to like mist, right? There's like no remnant of them. Yeah, so you go from doing like the gayest thing you've ever done to just not existing anymore. Oh, shit, my bad, my bad. No, it's cool, it's fine, it's whatever, dude.

Like, gated dust. That's Thanos, baby. That's a different snap. If one of them ripped a fart right before it went. I like that. That's the ultimate fart. That would be epic. That's the best fart of all time.

Yeah. That whole thing was so fucking nuts, dude. And then also how fixated people were. It was like, yeah, whatever. I didn't really understand the hype around it. I think we reported live on the podcast. We're like, they're still not found. True.

Whatever, dude. Fuck them. Yeah. Just be normal. Just go do normal stuff. I'm trying to go up. I'm trying to go high up into the sky. Where are you trying to get to?

Just up in a big tree. Where the hell are you trying to go, Rob? Brother. Forwards, backwards for me, dude. So how was Austin? Was Austin fun? Austin was cool, man. Dude, it's fucking nuts that Joe Rogan just started Hollywood in Austin. Yeah, just started his

own thing. That's incredible. Yeah, the mothership really does seem like it's like the store now. Yeah. We didn't even get in. Really? Yeah. But we didn't even get in. Really? Yeah. But we just hung out outside with like Kim Compton. And that's just enough probably. There's probably enough happening out. It was like the Philly Comedy Fest.

Like just being outside of that was better than being inside of it. Yeah. It was cool. But that had like a bigger magnitude. Yeah. We performed at Cap City, but then we hung out at, what was it, Creek in the Cave. Oh, nice. Yeah.

Saw Gardini there. That dude fucking rips. Yeah. And yeah, it is funny, man. When you're in a place that's more show busy, it always spooks me. Yeah. Like the weird salesman energy from people. Yes, dude.

It's so uncomfortable. Hey, pretty dark. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's so uncomfortable. Hey, pretty dark. Yeah. It's hard being in a hang with a bunch of people trying to make it. Yeah. Because there's a whole outdoor patio thing at the creek and the cave. Yeah.

And you could just see people trying to network. Just moving and shaking. It's so uncomfortable. Yeah. And you could feel it as soon as it starts happening to you. Because it always starts out kind of nice i feel like i can get tricked by it pretty easily oh yeah like damn this guy loves me man within a couple minutes they're like what could you possibly do for me yeah damn it that's awful dude how do you combat it like what's your go-to move brother i i i really don't thrive in those environments. I kind of will talk to like a few people I know and then I'll just get out of there.

I can't, I can't network with someone just because they're just doing something. Yeah. I have to like really be fucking into it. Like it's gang fest. The only person I talked to, there were so many cool people there. There was like Ron White, Roseanne. Yeah. Like all these people.

And like Drew and Naeem are way better at that. Like I think they spoke to Bl blunt with Ron White or something like that Yeah, they're like who did you meet? I'm like I talked to the puppeteer of Team America Yeah, that was the coolest guy Was he like he was old as fuck yeah, and He was just telling me about like old show business and he like lives in vegas and he was showing me all these sick old puppet videos yeah and uh yeah oh that's you think after he did team america he was like yeah this puppet thing's gonna really take off

like people are gonna really want puppets in their movies now yeah there hasn't been one since or he gets a call for that movie. He's like no fucking way The last marionette we want you that's awesome. That's so cool. How was gang fest fun? It was fun. Yeah, it's a fucking lot. You have to do like Molly or something That's what I say going. Yeah. Yeah, I felt like a fool. I just drank like an idiot Sorry fellas, I have nowhere to go it feels like that's starting to phase out like the weed kick is starting to replace a drinking kick and i'm a big drinking guy so it's kind of sad to watch yeah i feel like you and i every time we drink it's going other people got in smoke out front i'm like i'm okay here dude's doing it. Yeah, I can't be social while I'm drinking.

No. Or, sorry, smoking. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. Yeah, I'll just be so self-conscious. I'll be in a circle and sneeze and be like, who the fuck sneezes like that? Everyone knows you sneeze.

Gay. Dude, a sneeze while you're high would shut anybody down. Walk off. Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's scary. I never thought about that. You'll never be able to kill Tony. It is the worst, too, though, because then the opposite of it is you're like, you know what?

You can just sign off. You'll never fucking make it on that. The worst, too, though, is you do the opposite, and you're like, you know what? I'm just going to stay quiet. That's the answer. I'm not going to say anything. Can't say anything wrong if I don't say anything at all. Yeah.

And then you're just silently in a circle of dudes being hilarious. And you're like, God damn it. Yeah. There's been a few times where, like, because I'm going out to these shows with Tim. And, like, he'll know someone cool. And I'll be around. That's my biggest contribution. Just listening to them be like, yep.

Do you have any thoughts about this? No, I'm scared. Oh, I'm scared. I'm scared. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, God. I hate that you talked to me, but I want you to like me. So you figure that one out.

I'm shaking inside right now. Is that guy Robbie so agreeable? I'll take that. That's incredible. If somebody came away with that takeaway, I could live with that. Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, that's nice. Better than the alternative.

If I found out somebody thought I was just being a dickhead, I'd be like, oh, no. Yeah, I've been nervous a lot lately that I've been really trying hard to not be a dickhead. I don't think I am one, but I've been walking away from a lot of things going like, that person thinks I'm a dickhead. I don't know. I'm really in my head about it. I don't know. I've been there plenty of times. Yeah. I don't know. I can't get my head about it. I don't know. I've been there plenty of times.

I don't know. I can't get there. I mean, I can, I guess. Maybe. Oh, shit. Yeah, I don't know. That's our new resolution. We start being mean to people who have good intentions towards us. Maybe that's the new leaf that we turn. Dude, that works for a lot of people. It seems to work incredibly well.

Just shitting on people? Yeah. I can't do it people yeah, I can't do it No, I can only do it in private when it's just you and I driving home from a show Yeah, church is getting home from work somewhere by yourself going anybody I only hate one comic with a passion really yeah, I've taken all my comedy hate and just channel it into one That's good. Yeah, just get one person. Can you say can you he has no idea really is awesome is there any reason that in this room i'm sinking montag's career right now yeah we gotta be careful asking rob about comics the last time we had one that fucking uh the fun little 20 minute break. Oh yeah. That's the reason we don't have a Patreon.

That was supposed to be episode one. I was fucking, that was one of the funnier things. So you're like, wait, this person has no idea. That's incredible. That's even better. Makes it way better. I don't do anything to stop them, but if anyone brings them up, I'm like, did you know that guy fucking sucks? Yeah. What's better

than that, dude? What's better than that? I like to think that it's somebody that's just, like, the nicest comic in the world, too. That's what I'm wondering. Have they given you reason? Just, is it just, you can't stand who they are? Yeah, it's not enough to really hate them. Yeah. But it was a, I can describe the situation with no names.

But I was doing a show, and I went on after this guy, and he was doing a bit about working at Verizon. And I went on after him and made such a benign joke. I said, oh, it makes sense. So-and-so worked at Verizon because whenever he fucks a lady, he has to go, can you feel me now? Can you feel me now? Can you feel me now? So dumb.

Right. Yeah. Some would say, not good. Not me. That's dumb. Right. Yeah. Some would say, not good. Not me. That's gold. Your best work. And then he came up to me after my set. He was like, dude, are you fucking serious?

Oh, come on. Yeah. What the fuck was that up there? Can I talk to you in public? And I needed a ride home, so I apologized to him. Did he drive you home? It's a huge regret of mine. So I think that's my way of just...

That's so hilarious. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. I think we need to wrap just because now I kind of want to know the exact number of the person. Do you got anything you want to promote on the way out? Yeah, man.

Check out fucking Do Rag and the Deer Tag. Patreon.com slash Do Rag and the Deer Tag. Just had some fun episodes. Just had Dan Soder on and Ian Fadance. So check that out. Both incredible episodes. the deer tag patreon.com slash do ragging the deer tag um just had some fun episodes just had dan suter on and uh ian for dance so check that out incredible and uh this is out right now so i'll be in uh uh at raleigh this weekend with uh tim butterly so check that out i'm through if you're in the area and that's it for me oh yeah our plugs are gonna actually be so we can plug stuff that is current this feels weird now because we're live.

Yeah. Alright, so you can see this Thursday, Emmaus PA. I'll be at the Emmaus Theater with Tyler Rothrock and the boys up there. After that, there's other stuff. There's some Crossing Broad stuff potentially

coming out that we might be doing. I think we're going to do something else with them to make up for the one we're missing. You can catch, actually, if you're watching this live tomorrow morning, our episode with Kyle Pegg and Crossing Broad will come out. So that will be available tomorrow. Other than that, Montague comedy, Hacks Comedy Golf, we're going to eventually bring it back somehow. You're on my list on my wall of season two people.

Both of you guys are on there, actually. Yeah. I wrote it before I started a podcast with you. I think you guys are. And just above you guys, Gillis was on there. I thought he was attainable for the season two back in 2017. But yeah, other than that, that rules pod. What do you got coming up?

Well, yeah, tomorrow, come to Helium Comedy Club. I'll be hosting for Jay Jordan. Come hang out and let's have a bunch of fun on a Wednesday night. Thursday, Anchor Rock Club in Atlantic City. Carly Gwinn is running a show out there. That'll be a good time. And then March 2nd, I put together a new fun show at

Score's Sneaker Boutique in Collingswood. We're going to have a fun lineup. It's a cool room. Come hang out. And yes, Mad People's Comedy, Bobby Cruz, you're the fucking man. Thanks for coming on, dude. Thanks, man. Always a pleasure. No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bit of that.

No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bit of that. No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bit of that.