That Rules Podcast - Episode #16: The Saga of White Noise & Sensei ‘Quan

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

The idiots are back in full force, discussing everything from Karate to Body Surfing Paternity Test. This episode is brought to you by the new TUMS chewier, and Shamrock Sun. Use code “IDIOT” for 10% off at www.shamrocksun.com

🎵 Well, look who it is, folks. They're back. They're smoking crack. They're breaking social norms. Breaking social norms. And, well, I guess that's too early we're here this is

brutal we're here this is the 16th guys we are sad to say the 16th in our last episode

of this podcast the final one it's official the network called and they were like yep nope we're not renewing you for another 16 they said they said well i should i'd be remiss that's a good word i'd be remiss if i didn't say that i am matt peoples and i'm joined by a just a real a real piece of shit just up and down left and right a total Johnny matzo ball John how you

feeling a lot better now that we sat here and waited upwards of there 45 minutes to let this laptop load right 35 I got here at 10 after we did we're here for a real intimate night cast we're here for a night cast I think we need to do night cast voice like you're in the night why did it make it sexy no i hate when people do great fake gravelly voice people do that on purpose the way they tell me like yo what's up girl like how are you and it's like you don't ever like that vocal fry yeah that's something they act like damn i always just woke up that does always have to be followed by the most gentle laugh. Yeah. Like, just sleep out of your eyes? I play too much.

I have HPV. Anyway, can I get a ride home? Can I get a... My 96 Dodge Neon broke down. You know the vibes, girl. But that's right. We're night casting. I loved coming over here at this time.

I don't leave my house at this hour usually. I'm usually always home and on the couch. Like 1 o'clock in the morning right now? Yeah. For contests. So 7-ish, 7.30. Yeah. I guess the karate studio at the end of my block was letting out.

So I was just driving here and there was just like the most lamest guild of ninjas walking me up the street. God. So I have an ad to this. Yeah, it was just like, it was probably, the kids looked, they were either 16 or 35. And they were in full karate, adult karate outfit. One was a purple belt. We got to look up the ranks. I don't know if that's good or not.

Yeah. So one was Donatello. Yeah. There might have been a Leonardo in there in there no leonardo was purple yeah and uh yeah i was just cracking up because i was like man this is just the biggest dork ninja army well i'll i'll i'll do you one better so i went to i got done at the gym by the way we're officially like i was saying i'm sorry we had uh i actually i flexed and all the lights went off in the apartment welcome to uh our segment called black i was saying yeah blake griffin on the

new jersey nothing too sidetracked there is always like i was uh i was i'll always say stuff too fast yeah and uh i like i was at costco and this family was walking by a little girl asked like oh what's her name to my daughter i was like it's nora and she's like hi it's nora and i was like oh it's like you fucking idiot that's not a name and then i was like oh no because i mumbled my words and was like there's nora oh what does you think your daughter's an elven princess who Who's named It's Nora? It's maybe... Who's this fucking Lord of the Rings? I don't know.

I think within the first year, I get to redo the name, right? Yeah, you get a take back. But yeah, I thought that was hilarious. So sorry. What were you talking about? Yeah, I mentioned that people were kind of coming up to me, and they were kind of inquisitive about the fact that he's not an egg. I don't really get why he's so yoked.

And I was trying to allude to the fact that, like, you know when there's a kid. I love that you don't know where we lost, where it cut out. So you're like, I need to get that egg joke in there. I've been running that egg one all day in my head, and I had to get it out twice. It's the fourth time I've said it today. I'm going to skip over this part. But all that to be said, so when you saw those kids at the karate studio, so while I was alluding to the egg yolk, I'm back in, we're back in gym, you know, five, six times a week,

which it's been, but now we're really dialing in the food. So I stopped at Wawa to order six grilled chicken strips. That's all I got. Six grilled chicken strips. Yeah, I had to like pretend. They're probably wet too. No, they're not. Are they great?

They are not good. Oh, yeah. pretend they're probably wet too no they're not are they great they are not good oh yeah they i'm trying to some the consistency of like whatever the level of firmness is above yogurt that's what yeah so they're great but all that to be said while i was ordering it's like gelatinous yeah gelatinous who i think is a new villain in a marvel movie yeah it's actually uh he's a philosopher that i post all of my all of my inspirational quotes on instagram are all gelatinous yeah there is early work like one is like oh yeah don't be too early when you're always gonna be too late i know you're never there when you're always here i live laugh laugh some more live gelat

gelatinous live gelatinous if we can if you this podcast can give you anything gelatinous is actually a chapter of the bible people forgot about so i have a tattoo on her shirt on my rib cage and it says uh gelatinous 69 uh 12 the only thing gelatinous under your rib cage is that belly oh whoa actually i'm really insecure about that right now i've uh i've been that was really i thought you could do better um all right so this is the whole shit story i fucking saw some pussy ass kid in full karate gear with flip-flops on, and you're going to listen, and you're going to go, oh, he had a man bun, and he had a man bun.

Oh, how old was he? Maybe 12. I feel like the only thing you can buy in Wawa if you're in full karate gear is Slim Jims and Mountain Dew. And prepackaged pickles. Some PPPs. They got trippies? They got triple P's.

They got PPP. Oh, man. And he's just, and I feel like he's like, I'm picturing this guy, this kid, this gentleman, this boy.

Yeah. This tween. Don't picture the boy that much. It's illegal. No, I'm picturing like, he's doing a sick cartwheel, but it's a no-handed cartwheel. And it's only no-handed,

not because of skill. Yeah. Because his hands are so full of Slim Jims, but it's the Slim Jim and cheese combo. Yeah. They can be extra greasy. of Slim Jims, but it's the Slim Jim and cheese combo. Yeah. They can be extra greasy.

So that's why he's got to go handless. The thing about kids who do karate is no kid ever plays football, and he's like, you know, I'm really good at football, but I think I want to check out this karate scene. Did you ever do the martial arts? Are you a trained martial artist? When I was like five, I did it. Well, you can't hear this

either was uh i bowed very uh generously far below the waist which that's japanese culture that's further down you bow half bow is a fuck you bow you ever see that curb your enthusiasm yeah yeah we're just here to talk about good episodes of shows there's a lot of so yeah so were you ever uh of the uh martial art i did it i was of the uh a lot of people used to call me the joe rogan of five-year-olds i used to do karate at the ymca in woodbury oh yeah me too did you really master jimmy lamb was it a black guy no i was a white guy who went on to be the dj at chalene bar and grow no fucking way so i went it was i was early 90s that would be for me because i was 86 so it's probably when you were born i was at i'm i'm og were you upstairs downstairs downstairs in

oh actually in the hallway we started at the ymca but then we ended up at a middle school like right down the road um and that we were in there for a while oh okay anyway we're not here to talk you know geography could be local geography right in with your favorite local geography where was your karate studio but we we always drove past the tiger showmans to get to my karate and tiger showmans always seemed like the fucking cooler all the commercials they had the commercials and that one reminded me more of three ninjas yeah mine was just like if bad news bears was about karate mine was just like kids with behavioral issues so you're you're a kempo you're the kempo uh karate that's i believe

the ymca is strictly kempo karate if i believe i remember the thing is this you do a fist and then hand over it to bow i remember uh i cried a lot i did it three times we signed up for eight i did it three times everyone and the auditing the class i was really just kind of there to wait well my mom worked at the y so we did it for free oh yeah yeah just like i will let him get away for a little bit and i what it was just me standing with a large black gentleman who would just have to hold me the whole time what was it you know his name was sensei ler Leroy. So? You said it. You said it. He was a very awesome name. I would love to have the name Leroy.

Anyway. His name was Sensei Kim Jong. Sensei D Aposhebe Jaquan

D Jaquan Chi Potley. So Sensei Kwan has you That's actually a rapper I think.

Sensei Kwan He's with the A$AP Rocky group. Sensei Kwan has you by That's actually a rapper, I think. Sensei Kwan. He's with the ASAP Rocky group. Sensei Kwan has you by the collar, and he says... He says, you... Matthew-san! He says... In a typical black guy accent, Matthew-san!

Well, they say son in a different way. He's like, Matthew-san! Come here, nephew! All right. Well, that's a good... that's kind of a nice relationship an older black guy hanging out with a young pale red-headed white kid teaching them how to kick each other every movie like that's like a shitty disney channel movie it is oh what would the title be you just you're explaining first kid the simbad movie where he's the bodyguard for like the president's son

i've never seen it oh yeah you're you're you're basically describing like three ninjas meets the first kid i was kind of thinking of man on fire while i was doing this analogy which is a very different course of action i did not picture this guy looking i pictured him more like an aegis elba in my head not a denzel he looks more like al farouk amino i have no clue who that is he's the 12th man on the portland trailblazers oh yeah oh you don't know that i only know eastern conference 12th man okay yeah i can see that which i do i could i could make up names too hagaligabutu was well that's racist it's probably not because i probably just said a name. Yeah, but what if you just said in like Cameroonian, like, fuck you, pussy.

Yeah, true. That'd be kind of cool. But if you, I looked at our analytics today. We are not trending in non-white countries. I think Great Britain just added on and like Denmark on our. So shout out to, if this, it's got to be at least we're in a bunch of countries now a bunch of countries that's one of my favorite candy bars a bunch of countries uh we're in a lot of countries now it's like great britain i i in the we did an accent basically the accent pod oh you

think they found us and they were like what are these blokes going on about are you talking all that trash oh so i i did practice since we talked about that i'm not practicing watching a lot of stuff no a lot of like the the cockney the rhyming yeah like bees and honey oh which means like money it's got to rhyme with the words i swear to god like we'll go in there we we knock them quick for the bees and honey all right and then we jolt because jolt rhymes with Bolt. Actually, Jolt works too. Jolt's good, yeah. And then we Alec Baldwin.

What the fuck is that? I was thinking of Bolton. Michael Bolton. And then we Michael Bolton. What song does he sing? No, we're not getting too much off the tangent. Yeah, you're right.

He sings Every breath you take I'll make you an episode There he is, dude. And it's my name is Michael Bolton Also off topic. We talked about possibly talking about have we ever sang good? making an episode. There he is, dude. And it's my normal local bullshit. Also off topic, we talked about

possibly talking about have we ever sang good? This is us brainstorming I want to get back to karate sensei Kwan

at some point. But yeah, do you ever, I asked you earlier, now I'm home by myself a lot now which is great because I work from home

and my wife's working and the kids are at daycare and I sing to myself as I walk around and stuff. It's usually like dumb stuff you're like you're going downstairs you want to get a snack but like every once in a while i'll sing like a real song i'm like maybe i don't maybe i got it maybe i'm good and then my wife will like catch me singing and just look at me and she'll give me a look like no you're just messing around right like but she has a surprisingly

good voice and won't admit it yeah i catch her now it's cute because i catch like singing to the baby and i'm like oh it's kind of special but yeah i'll hit like every once in a while i'm like i think i got it i might be a singer and then whoo you start pushing the limit when you're in the shower you're like maybe i can hit a note. You know, I'm going to go to scales. I think if I ever sang in a real way, I think I'd surprise some folks, man. I think I'd catch some people off guard. I think, you know the type of singing I'd do? You'd be in the other room, and you'd be like, that guy in the next room over, he has a little something. But I will say, I don't know if this is something wrong with with me because i do this in a lot of stuff in my life hearing anybody sing good makes me uncomfortable do you get that

at all yeah but i'm just laughing that like you feel i feel like you're laying out there because you want to get discovered every time i'm singing you're like it gets amazing like it's not like i don't know there are some videos on youtube where you can find me. And if, like, a manager happens to hear it. Just whoever. Anyway, you can get my new album on iTunes. It's called Sensei Quan. Check me out. Sensei Quan, just you and him doing My Chemical Romance covers.

My Karate Romance. But do you ever get that? Like, if I hear people sing good or if I hear people, like I'm in the car with them and like they're like actually singing along. Oh, yeah. That makes me really uncomfortable. Do you get that? Like and it's not like uncomfortable that it's douchey. Like it's uncomfortable that they're so good and you're in the moment.

No, I get it like I don't even know. I get it with so much stuff. Like I get it when people are singing. I'm trying to explain it. Like I will be sitting there. You just have autism. I think I have. Well, that's 100%. Don so you hate it when like a lot of people drop spoons and then you can hear them and you count them you're like oh my god but where did the spoons go after

they were dropped and then before the where were they don't you hate it when like your shoelaces are not evenly tied on both sets of shoes i actually if that if that is a symptom i was gonna say i actually have a lot of if that's a symptom for... I was going to say, I actually have a lot of... If that's a symptom for OCD and autism, you also pointed out flops that have... Well, I was going to say, I have this fold. The fold that you get on the front of your sock, I don't know why they would ever put it there. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. How they just have a line where your toesies are, your little tiny toes.

If that touches the side of my foot in my shoe, I will shoot up an orphanage. I can't have it happen i used to bring it up to my parents all the time when i was a kid and they were like this kid's 100 fucking oh my god i'm dead serious you're my kid and you told me that i'd be like now i have to look up like specialists i literally might be like this is gonna be a problem dude here's another one you're gonna look at me This will change our friendship, I think. Hey, remember you were just talking about how uncomfortable you feel about people when they're really good singers? I'm feeling so uncomfortable around you right now.

I'm just knowing that. On the realizations you're making of the OCD and the probably diagnosable mental issues you have. It has to be. Dude, I'm like the untalented Rain Man. I don't even know if I want to tell you this now, but we're going to say it. 412 toothpicks. Like, sir, no one dropped toothpicks. Dude, nobody's going to get this.

You're not going to get this. Okay. This is the best way I can describe it. You know, like, if you have a toothache and you constantly, like, bite it to be like, all right, yeah, it still hurts. Yeah. But then you wait a little bit. You're like, all right, let me see if it still hurts. And you bite it and you're like, it to be like all right yeah it still hurts yeah but then you wait a little bit you're like all right let me see if it still hurts and you bite it like yeah it still hurts i would do that but i used to do that i got i'm like sweating doing this when i was like seven years old i used to go like this i used to go like that because it felt uncomfortable

the way what he's doing is he's taking it i'll i'll paint the picture yeah take his thumb if you were gonna like like suck on your thumb he would get a little bit into his mouth and behind his front teeth and then a light flick forward yep so do that in the mirror and look at how fucking insane you look doing it now picture a nine-year-old fucking fiery red hot. By the way, at this point, I'm like 6'2". He's too big. Nine years old, 92 pounds, 6'4",

at this time. Dude, so I would do it all the time like this because it felt uncomfortable and my body was like, do it again.

It was like, it's like an OCD shit, dude. And mind you, I was like, it's like sadomasochism. I remember I looked over to my dad and I was like,

Dad, I don't know what to do. And he's like, fucking stop. I'm at my sister's cheerleading thing. I thought Big Kev was going to slap it out of you. No, he was just like, bro, you're a fucking weird dude, bro. But we're at my sister's cheerleading thing. So it's like all these different cheerleading squads.

So I'm there. I'm nine years old. I'm trying to get pussy. I can't be around flicking my teeth. At nine? Yeah, man. And they're looking at me and I'm 6'5". And you know, I'm like years old. I'm trying to get pussy. Like, I can't be around flicking my teeth. At nine? Yeah, man. They're looking at me, and I'm 6'5". And you know, I'm like 225 pounds, and I'm shredded.

I love that that happened, and you went off, and you're all weird. But at some point, your dad laid down that night, and his head hit the pillow, and he was like, my son might be retarded. And he's also not good at karate. It's like, yeah, I've got to cancel him out of karate. I don't think he's... Yeah, dude. I don't know if I signed a waiver.

I'm thinking through the dad brain of it now. You're like, man, I guess in the morning I've got to get a specialist or something. And then I've got to call my insurance to make sure it covers him being knocked in the head. Dude, thinking back, I think I might have been fucked. I used to go to speech class. You ever go to speech class? No. Dude, I might be retarded.

Were you also the kid when you were learning how to hold a pencil, they had to give you the special grips that had like one, two, three, four, like place here here here here it was like the everyone had the the franklin baseball that had the put your fingers here on the seams throw a fastball here for curveball it was like that no i never had that shit no i never was that dude i was dumb in unique ways i was in like all the advanced i was in all like the advanced classes and shit i was just a weird odd little sweet boy so you were the dumbest kid in the higher classes like i was like a middle tier kid in a smart class i never dude can i tell you i uh

i think the highest i got no in high school i had remedial math at one point really so it was me like i can't dude i'll take my fucking thumb on my teeth and do a remedial math. I'm so bad. I remember Mr. Fistori was the name of the teacher and he just, he would nod and shake his whole body. Oh, that is still burned in my head. But I remember sitting down in the class and looking around and I was like, oh no, like this is all the dumb people.

This is all the people that like, there's some have to be dead at this point. Like they were dumb enough to die young, dumb. was like oh i fucked up but then i also looked around i was like but maybe i'm the smartest out of this group okay yeah i'm always just like riding that line of like way too dumb for this class yeah maybe too smart for this one and we don't have another class in between the african oh can i tell you man i was so embarrassed and i think i got to where'd it go it was like remedial math which no one even that was like freshman math yeah like a senior and then it was like i never got to like calculus or anything like that oh wow i didn't take calculus in high school either did you well

yeah i guess college i'll depend on the major yeah i was finance i had to take okay because they were like you're such a cool guy yeah i was weird like i was i was in like the most remedial math but then i was also like in all the fun classes like film video tech and stuff like that like paint and spray we had i was like really good at that stuff because it was like i genuinely liked it and had fun and i think about that now like in life like shit that i'm getting better at i like genuinely i like it yeah like stand-up is like something i genuinely love yeah so it's like fun getting better i don't know that's what's crazy is i think like i probably should have done like performing arts shit i just hate almost everything about yeah like theater stuff oh yeah i could

never be in a play no i'm very glad that i wasn't i remember i did in like the low enough grades where everyone has to be in the play yeah i did a uh a weird german like leg slapping dance thing that are for actually an earlier story earlier episode i talked about getting stuck in a linen closet and pissing myself yo yeah that kid's dad was like from germany his name was herman the german which is fucking amazing unbelievable so they like taught us some dumb dance and i remember like us practicing it and practicing and practicing i watched the video like a year or two ago it's just us slapping our shoes and our legs no one in the same timing that was like my contribution to a play i i only thing I did, well, when I was in middle school,

we had to do this thing where around Christmas time, we would be, what do we all do on the left? There you go. Around Christmas time, everybody had, like every grade had to do like a song, and then you'd have like the Christmas talent show, and everybody would, you know, whatever. Yeah. For whatever reason, you know whatever yeah for whatever reason

you know um the guy who plays wolverine fucking what's that big idiot's name what the fuck is oh you guys les mis is what you're gonna reference no so but he used to be just like a singer or he was a singer or had like a song oh yeah what why can't i show tunes yeah what the fuck's his name liam gleam neeson yeah liam Neeson. Yeah, Liam Neesons. Either way. So he used to do that. And then... Why are you toggling this picture out behind the scenes? I was trying to find the time.

We, uh... So yeah, we did that. And then when I was in high school, the closest that I ever got to, like, doing stand-up was when I was a senior. I had already won Prom King. Oh, God, I hate that. Why did that have to be thrown in there?

Just to show a lot of dominance. And to say I'm not special needs. That was fucking terrible. Man, did I win a special needs Prom King? Did I win a Make-A-Wish Prom King? Yeah, they did. I just realized that. That was definitely like they all went around.

They were like, guys, you know what would be really good? You know what would be great? Like, guys, this is going to mean so much to him. Yo, we don't even know what these are yet but there's gonna be like a thing called a podcast one day he's gonna he's like he's gonna bring it up on that yeah that's how proud of this he's gonna be let's all let's all vote him in and like the hot girl was like i think that is the thing we should do and then everyone vote me in too that's an elaborate prank that could have really i will say that it turns out your schools

just your students are just so nice and humbled oh that's not that's not the case they elected a fool when i was a senior when i was a senior this adds to it now i'm starting to get their signal for like to vote was like they all flicked their teeth yeah they're like uh-huh i like that movie hereditary yeah but uh so uh uh this when i was a senior my friends were funny my entire life yeah even when we were like kids we were doing funny shit so we're like 17 and i remember when i was a senior i did i played lacrosse because my two friends played and i was like i'll just play and hang out but i was like awful yeah so and our coach was like a 27 year old like bro oh 27 years there's nothing worse than a 27 year old lacros Well, he just let me on the team.

He's like, yeah, you're funny. We can just come hang. So we used to do this thing. I look back now. It's so weird that, like, people I know went back to coach things. I can't imagine. Yeah, it's such a weird concept. I can't even fit my brain around it.

But they used to do this thing. My friends started doing it where they would say, get mad on SportsCenter. Like, as a make-a-wish thing thing and then my coach would say it during games sometimes and he'd like get mad on sport like he would put me in and like get mad on sports center i'm like shut the fuck up i love that like you're just now seeing this or a whole nother lens and you were the special needs kid of your high school that's not true because to be fair i came up with the whole like i probably look like a make-a-wish kid out here i know like that's funny yeah you know john look at this diploma they gave me and you just pull it out and it's crayon and they're like good way to go man

for no reason they're just like yeah it's pretty good you're a heartfelt like uh not a rom-com but like a sincere movie from the late 90s like early 2000s you're like blindside level it's like it's like radio blindside those heartfelt stories of like through trying really hard this really dude listen okay blindside and radio are two wildly different films. You're White Radio. No, I'm not, dude. By the way, if I was, I'd be called White Noise.

There's White Noise and there's Radio. White Noise is also my rapper name. White Noise and Sensei Kwan. That's our new album. That's why we got the name of the episode. Dude, people were worried about Drake and Kanye. Look out for Sensei Kwan and White Noise. White Noise.

You just come in, like, literally every song, you start coming in through static. I'm kind of like, Steeping your bitch in a one- Oh, shit. I'm picturing your stage show and it's just like a big jumbo screen it's like starts to play something and then it's like oh yeah and it's like public and everyone's like oh man i guess the screen's broken it's like like behind the static and you're like oh wait no that's that's that's the title track off of the static and you're like oh wait no that's that's that's the title track off of sensei kwan and white noises album oh god and then like it it goes clear and it's just you on on this on

the jumbo screen like standing cool and my gang symbol is me flicking my teeth and sensei kwan is just next to you like he's doing a cool karate move but like not in the he's trying to make it look like he's in the air but still one foot but he's still doing it like a dad who goes along with their kids like weird things he's like all right he's a rapper now i guess you know i just pictured sensei kwan taking you out trick-or-treating he's like you knock on the door and they're like what are you and you look back at him he's like go ahead you can tell him you're like oh my karate well this is 25 and he're like, what are you? And you look back at him, he's like, go ahead, you can tell him. You're like, I'm a karate. Well, so it's 25 minutes. And he's like, show him the chop, show him the chop, too.

And you're like, hi-yah, can I have some candy? I also have a peanut allergy. Dude, my buddy's kid, he just found out today that his kid has a peanut allergy. Oh, really? Oh, dude, so bitch. Yeah. No, I'm thinking of that in like the parent sense. Dude,

it's, we went through like an allergy scare thing and it turns out it wasn't an allergy to anything. It was just a virus. But like for a while we thought that she was going to be allergic to eggs, which they're in everything. And like, it's like,

you can't, I think people that are allergic to eggs can't get a certain vaccine even like, Oh, there is like that. Like, yeah, because mostly I think it's because allergic to eggs can't get a certain vaccine even. Oh, there is like egg shit. Yeah, because mostly I think it's because the CIA put a mind device tracker. They're putting women's eggs in the vaccines. It beams eggs into your bloodstream. And then next thing you know, COVID's not real.

No, what they're doing is they're putting women's eggs in the vaccines because they're trying to take the manhood away. Because if they take the manhood away from America, that's why I see all these pussies wearing dresses at the VMAs. You open your eyes, sheep. Go ahead, you were saying? I don't know what I was saying. We went on a weird tangent there. Yeah, I don't know how we got. We started at Sensei Kwan taking you trick or treating.

To me being, I mean, we went from karate to me being, me realizing in real time that I have special needs. That was a really big loop. Man, we were uncovering some things and we're running halfway into the ordeal. 28 minutes. Come on, dude. We're living it up. And I think, whew. What do we got?

But yeah, so, I don't know, dude. If I ever wanted to be, and that's the thing about me. If I wanted to fucking sing. You just did the white guy sounding like, and that's the thing about me. That's the kind of thing you got to know about me. I'm a straight shooter. I shoot you straight from the hip. So here's what I'm asking, Johnson.

Are we going to do the deal, or are you going to put your pussy between your legs and walk away from this? I don't know what's going on. What are you? This is just, we have lost control this evening. We never had it. It's the night moves. We should have known when we couldn't get the podcast to start for 45 fucking minutes. And we just sat with Shane Gillis on mute in the background.

And the fun thing is, we kept having a fun conversation. And then we were like, no, no, no. Save it, save it. We got this killer material. And then we come in with you're doing karate but it was that fucking man bun bitch and wawa oh i haven't seen that kid i i teased my karate story so it's so fun it's like a movie it's like we went down two different paths that led us still to here so it's like we entered the martial arts, and now we're in the martial arts of words and humor.

Yeah, that's right. No, so I did Kenpo Karate once again. I actually still have the shirt. It was a good one. But yeah, my sensei, Billy Lamb, a very buzz-cutted, spiked-up, fucking intense guy that now, thinking back, it might be coke energy.

Oh, yeah. There was a good chance this guy was just banging out rails, and he was like, anyway, guys, what we're going to do today is we're going to learn how to chop through... Fucking front flips! I don't need front flips today, just front flips! Front flips with a chop! Front flips and chops! Front flips and chops!

And he can't do it, but it keeps landing on his back. Anyway, I've got to get back to the bathroom. You know when you knock the wind out of yourself? If all of you guys pitch in, like, $10, we can open our own studio. We don't have to be here under the oppressive wing of the YMCA. Guys will be in the locker room. He's flicking his hand. Jesus Christ.

This is such a good visual podcast bit also. It looks so much better on video. Yeah, so Billy Lamb. And whence I aged upon my life furious okay uh well it's like british people we got to talk everyone's oh to our audience yeah shout out to whom we are speaking um and that was a great snap we'll get the snaps after this dude we got it but yeah so i grew up i hit drinking age of, and I went to the local bar. Thanks for establishing that. And the DJ there, it was at Chalene's Pub.

Shout out to the greatest roast beef sandwich in the world. Yeah. It, we walk in, I'm like, I know that DJ. And like, he's setting up and everything. We're all getting a beer, and it's like, all right, welcome to, we're going to get it going here with DJ Billy Lamb. And I was like, Sensei? From like, he might have been Master Billy Lamb. No, Sensei, I guess.

I can't book karate. I'm not sure which one it is. But I got so excited. I was like, I went over and just like did the karate hand thing. And it was like, he knew who I was. This was like 12 years later, maybe. And I was just like, holy shit. Did you talk to him?

I was like, as much as you can talk to a DJ while he's DJing so he's like headphone on like yeah so you still in the karate yeah it was

fucking amazing by the way great beatboxing Sensei Billy that was incredible beatboxing Sensei Billy Lamb oh man I hope he

I don't know if he's still alive. I'm going to look you up, buddy. Look you up. I mean, that's a good... I got to my yellow belt, which is not good. I think it's the second belt. I think I got a yellow belt, too. In eight days?

Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah. I think I went for like two to three years. Step it up. There's no way you got a yellow belt in eight days. No. Oh, I did it.

This is more of you just being special. They were like, listen, we don't want that. He hasn't signed up for the whole year plan. We're just going to bring him in for eight classes, quote unquote. No, what they did is they gave me eight. What do you do is like day four. Yeah, I know, right? Four days in, you start a yellow belt.

Just give him the yellow belt. Just give him the yellow belt. It's going to really help us out so much when he becomes prom. Well, that's actually what they did. They'll feature you at prom. In the fucking outfit, this karate outfit. You're at homecoming court, and all the dudes are in their shitty tuxes from the same rental place. And you're just standing there, perfect karate alert stance.

You're at your one position. I'm doing Legos. but it's the child's you're now you're in this this point you're 18 but you're still wearing the karate album when you're old so it goes halfway down your shin halfway up your forearm and you fucking yell about just the best part is to think that i wasn't even on court i just scared the people there like jesus fucking all right yeah you won dude jesus lord matt's been wearing that The best part is to think that I wasn't even on court. I just scared the people there. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, you won.

Dude, Jesus. Lord. Matt's been wearing that fucking karate outfit every day to school for the past month. I think we got to. Dude, it's breezy. It's comfy. It's a good fit. I don't know if you guys saw.

He's a yellow belt. So you got to watch out. I think that's when you get to learn punches above the shoulder. Well, it was originally a white belt, and then I pissed out of my penis and made it yellow. belt so you gotta watch out i think that's when you get to learn punches above the shoulder well i it was it was originally a white belt and then i pissed out of my penis and made it yellow but talking about seeing somebody later in life that you had a relationship with we uh used to go to the brooklawn diner oh yeah brooklawn new jersey right on the circle and uh a waiter we always had uh very nice like like middle-aged black guy. He was like the nicest dude.

He was the coolest waiter. We always had him. Like knew him on a first-name basis. And my dad was on jury duty years later. Can you talk about what happened on jury duty? I get so excited when you see my jaw drop. I thought you were going to tell me the waiter was Sensei Kwan. No.

Oh, sorry. And you're just sitting there. You're like, i'll take an egg he's over oh my god yeah all right fuck this makes it not as good though i don't are you allowed to talk about somebody else's trial yeah it's not yours oh it's public record oh so so years later my dad is serving on uh jury duty the biggest murder trial ever well come to find out this waiter beat the shit out of a cop oh and his wife and my dad was on his trial wow and my dad like said hello to him and i was like dad that seems like an enormous conflict of interest and you shouldn't have been on your dad was the one guy when the whole jury's

back there they go back and like i mean guys we're gonna be out of here within 20 minutes for this verdict right guilty everyone yeah and your dad's at the table and he's like, actually, my cup was never empty when I sat at his table. The salad bar at the Brooklyn Diner says he's innocent. He always knew how much cheese I wanted on those eggies. And it was always a little bit more. So why don't we sit back down and really talk about this? Damn, are we writing the greatest play ever? Now we're on Cocaine Energy.

We're going to put it together. We're going to have a cast by Tuesday. We're going to make fucking money. We're going to start a small business and we're going to sell yellow belts. That's what we're going to sell, yellow belts. We're going to find really weird kids flicking their teeth. And we'll be like, son, are you in the market for a belt? I also have to go back. I stole

the make fucking money from Evanan williams watch that on instagram it's okay it sounded weird in there because it did sound like you said we're gonna find kids flicking their bean but you did say flicking their teeth their teeth you just there there's a bunch of kids sitting around flicking their teeth doing tiktok dances you pull up with a fucking uh fucking white van no windows you're like kid you kids in the market for yellow belts you guys getting bullied you know we're sure far away to stop one wear a yellow belt you don't need to know karate also why is the karate outfit made out of paper towels why is the why does the karate outfit exist at all it's 2021 yeah we have like we're living in the greatest era

of athletic yeah attire but we're still in the greatest era of athletic attire, but we're still holding on to the thing that is made out of like, I mean, what I assume flags are made out of. Yes. It's the same material. Yeah. And we're still kicking and punching in that.

We're restricting our warriors. I imagine there's not a lot of movement. It's not. I know like in some things, like in some MMAs, or i guess it's some jiu-jitsu maybe you're they do gi where you roll with it yeah and it becomes like a tool almost like people have holds that are just on the collar so you're controlling someone because you have such a good grip on his collar well that seems like a like why would you have something so they

do ones they do it because it adds another element to it, I think. But then they do no-gi ones, too, where it's just fucking fat karate dads wearing rash guards, basically. They're wearing surf tees, the ones that everyone bought when you got a boogie board like you needed it. Oh, dude, I had so many boogie boards, bro. We can talk boogies all day. I keep wiping my nose. That's cocaine energy. Sorry. Ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing.

But where was I going with that? I don't know. We're going to sell yellow belts. Yellow belts. That's cocaine energy. Sorry. Ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing. But where was I going with that? I don't know. We're going to sell yellow belts. Yellow belts. To aspiring karate athletes. Yellow belts and boogie boards. We're going to pull up on

out of season boogie boards. We don't, we sell them from September to April at a drastic discount. We're talking three seasons ago. This one has a shark on there that doesn't have enough

detail in the face. So it's like the old model i mean we are operating from a negative profit margin damn i remember i saved up because we used to go down the shore for like almost like a month every year my it was amazing i love my childhood was fucking great yeah i have a great life everything's amazing sure it's not true but i hear you it got shitty later but childhood was childhood. We would go down to the shore, and it was awesome. We would spend almost a whole month down there. And I remember I saved up the one year for my first hard bottom boogie board.

Oh, yeah. From Pete Smith Surf Shop. I wasn't going to go to Hoy's and just get a shitty Maury's boogie board. Stone Harbor. And this was before Stone Harbor. Now it is illustrious. Yeah. We were in

like it's still there to the house it's like a puke green two level house like no air conditioning that's what it used to be like now it's just mega mansions everywhere but i saved up for this fucking pete smith and then i also like was like collecting stickers that i was going to put on the bottom yeah to let people know that i fucking I boog with the best of them. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're talking O'Neal stickers, Earl stickers, maybe an eight ball, some kind of like cool eight ball thing.

Sure, sure. But the bottom of my boogie board looked like a pog, and not a pog, a pog. Oh, okay, you confused me there. Yeah, but I saved up for that thing, and I remember like, I wouldn't let anyone touch it. Of course.

Because on the beach, everything becomes like communal when it's a big group of people. So it would be, like, my cousins and everything. Would you have the hand strap where you could strap it to your wrist? Yeah. Did I try to put it on my ankle to look like a surfer and then have the boogie board just fling back at my face after I fell off a wave once? Maybe. There it is. Did I have a really good, like, it was like a neoprene, like, a wetsuit material or a strap so you know i boogied hard

i was really the fins too and looking because in my mind you'd watch like on like surf movies and boogie board stuff like a dude go out with fins so you can get out deeper on your feet like flippers oh okay fins fins yeah those are oh yeah it's like fins on your feet yeah flippers and uh i remember i was like oh man if i just got those yeah i would i'd probably get sponsored yeah cut to literally if i could look back it was me just on a wave eyes closed riding in a straight line not going with the brake or anything just go and then eventually the wave pittering out because it's South Jersey waves. They're not like thrashing, shredding waves out there.

But I was like, man, all I need to do is save my money. That hard bottom is probably going to be my future. Oh, yeah, dude. They have a lot of skimboard too. Skimboards are standing. Yeah, the ones you skim on just the edge of the water. Yeah, those are hard. People that are the edge of the water. The people that are really good can go into the waves

and do 360s and shit. I always could just hop on and just glide until it hits sand and it stops you abruptly. It's like hitting a fucking peddle. I remember getting that and I was like, wow, I probably gotta go grab some wax for it. I was so into it.

And then, yeah, I did it. It would just be me at the beach doing it for 10 minutes and I'm like so into it and then yeah i did it it would just be like me at the beach doing it for 10 minutes and i'm like all right probably now i'm out of pressure get back to that hole i dug i fucking you remind me the painful boogie board stories me and my dad were a couple boogie bros back in the day the one time i went to go out damn your dad hit a boogie oh my dad used to bugog hard. Hell yeah. My dad was a big body surfing guy. Yeah, he body surfed, boogie board, whatever it took. In my eyes, I was like, I think the only reason he's not pro at it is because they don't have like a pro circuit.

Yeah. My dad's probably the best body surfer ever. And then when I grew up, I was just like, oh, no, every guy from that era, like that was their, that was the way they impressed people. I was going to say that. My dad, I will say my dad had some real dexterity to the surfing yeah nice yeah dad's fucking dads are great body surfers dude dads can just do random shit yeah oh man dads are the best dude i am one and i don't i don't wonder i haven't tested it since my daughter was born i haven't body surfed it might just be like an ingrained thing in my brain where like as soon as I get out there, I'm just – I'm hitting like – Yeah.

They're like, does he have fins? That's the new – How did he even get out to that one? With all the – I'm hitting like a sweet hip move in it. Bear with me here, okay? Because I might lose you in the beginning, but you'll get me. With everything going on with abortion laws in Texas, they have a hard time pinpointing the

moment of conception I say you find out the moment of conception can this guy body surf they take him down to the Gulf they're like get out in the water and it's just a guy like floundering out there you're like no no that's how you found out the girls pregnant you also he might not be the father slap a nut yeah another guy yeah but her ex can body surf real good now. Yeah, and then there's that one guy where they're like, get out there. And he's like, I've never even. Oh, my God, I'm a pro.

And he's like, do I have fins? He blasts her and goes, 97 in that hotel room. But, dude, one time. He like clicks in his head. He's like, that's a new paternity test. Body surfing paternity test. And then they also just lay out like two pair of shoes and like one or like a cool like newer shoe and then nike monarchs and then they i imagine they're holding like a blindfold over your eyes they pull it up and they're like all right shoes you're like

yeah well i mean those are cool but you gotta go with everyday comfort and you're like that he's the dad you start going out you start going outside to observe like rainstorms and you're like oh shit dude i i do the now i i like walking with like both hands behind my back like we're like yeah you know what i mean oh yeah and i caught myself like on my front porch doing the two hands behind the back like lower back korean dictator looking around yes perfect i'm i'm. I'm owning on my front porch. And I'm just like, thinking about an hour, we're going to get a drizzle. And I'm just like,

oh yeah, I'm a dad. That's also the paternity test. What did we say? Body surf paternity test. That's the title. I think the title's got to be Sensei kwan well this is you if you don't actually have that you know what we might have two titles

this one because i can't wait to make the artwork for sensei kwan and white noise you're gonna be walking a very fine i'm gonna make myself sensei kwan in this scenario okay that's gonna be selfish sure just because i don't have a sticker a sticker of a random black guy to put on a karate belt. It's weird that your Google history is black karate teacher. But then it's like black belt karate. It's like, no, black guy karate teacher. Black guy, yellow belt karate teacher. It's like black guys with yellow belts.

And it's just like, it's like fashionable. It's like Gucci belts. Oh, that's tough to say. Yellow leather belt. That that isn't that one more vocal warm-up like red leather yellow leather red yellow this is what you guys tuned in for can you do it it's red leather yellow leather red leather yellow rather red red leather red leather yellow leather red leather yellow leather red leather shallow bedding I'm asking fucking toothpicks over here I'm asking toothpicks there's Netflix and there's toothpicks

both of us are entertaining but I will alright so this is a quick aside I feel like this is a funny and we're back I had to rip a quick tinkle and the entire time old rain mat over here was down here just going red leather I'll rather add rather Lello rather never see the movie aviator with Leonardo DiCaprio yes show me the plan show me

the plan show me the plan show me the plan show me the plan you know the plan but missing in mason jars and yours have you seen rain man now oh you might need to watch Rain Man. I know. I'm overweight. You might watch it and just be like, oh, damn it. I'd be like, oh, there's something wrong with that guy. You're like, oh, you mean that story of that normal triumphant guy?

Yeah, well, not really. That had nothing wrong with him at all? Yeah, well, Rain Man's not doing remedial math, but. Yeah, I certainly isn't, but he is able to. Oh, remedial math over here. I was about to say, oh, remedial math. I was going to get words together, and I just stammered through it. Old remedial to the old remedial math over here i'm i was about to say old remedial math so we could get words together and i just stammered through remedial math over me to the math old remy math over here boy remedial math remedial remedial math sounds like a italian uh soccer player remedial math yeah um

damn maybe remedial math will be i think remedial math is actually the new head of the taliban oh true but uh all right so this is a quick tale i got for you speaking oh what i was trying to say is i can talk good i can talk way gooder than you yeah i can red yellow yet leather damn it i'll show you some red i don't know so uh so i'm like probably like nine or ten years old i'm at summer camp and every week we go on a um like a field trip at summer camp and this one happened to be clementine park oh yeah the worst of the parks so we go to the water park which they are there's like a sign it doesn't say this but this is to give you the effect basically a sign that was like, we don't use chlorine. So figure it out. And then we're like, we highly recommend

attending a shot before attending any of our water attractions. All of your belts are going to be yellow. All of my belts are going to be fucking, have radiation poisoning.

So I'm on, they have this slide and the way that the slide is, is it's a big, decent, small drop and it's a water slide. So you're laying on your stomach.

They have you like a mat and you're laying on the mat and you're laying on your stomach on the water slide. So there's a big, decent, small drop. And it's a water slide. So you're laying on your stomach. They have you like a mat. And you're laying on the mat. And you're laying on your stomach on the water slide. So there's a small drop. Then a little bit of a bigger drop. And the third one is like a solid-sized drop. So I'm there with my two friends and then these two girls. One of whom I was passionately in love with.

So this is my first time. This is a big day. Did you hit a line where you're like, hey hey do you want to lay on this mat i was like this mat is red leather and yours seems to be yellow so i can go down with you if you want she's like are you are you pissing right now but i'm not sure you're wearing your prompting hat and my karate yeah i still have my karate outfit on just yeah i'm talking and i'm still flicking my teeth. Your karate pants are cut into bathing suit shorts. Yeah, I have.

Ooh, karate shorts. That's our first merch. Yeah, karate shorts. Karate shorts. I'm like a cartoon character where they slightly alter my outfit. That's always the same. It's just like shorts now. So I'm like on this thing.

It's a big day for me. It's my first time shirtless in front of her, so I want to show her what could be hers. Secondarily, I already put my sunscreen on in the morning, so i don't have to apply my sunscreen while i'm there so i don't have to look like a bitch third i'm like well i'm on a big slide i'll show her how we get down so i say i say hey friends both boys and girls wouldn't it be cool if at every drop we like pull up and then we catch at the bottom and loop right into it, kind of just like catch the bottom, go right into it. So they all decide, hey, Matt, you're a cool local guy. That sounds like fun. We'll do that.

So we go down the first. Mind you, it's five slides across, so we're all going at the same time. I made sure I was right next to her. So we go to the first drop. We pull up right into it, scoop right into it. Go to the second drop, pull up again, it scoop right into it go to the second drop pull up again all right into we're all doing it we look like we're a synchronized team oh yeah and i kind of i remember after the second drop i looked over at her and we both like laughed at

each other like kind of like like it was a beautiful moment so we get to the third drop and i'm like oh let me really get some air on this this bad boy i pull up way too hard way too hard way too hard everybody else pulls up same normal amount i completely miss any part of the slide and just go flat onto my stomach onto the drop and i remember she wanted to look at me to laugh again, you know when you get the wind knocked out of you? I looked at her and I was like, uh, uh, uh. You get it? And you just slam down and you get up and you're like, anyway Megan, I think you and I should probably eat an Applebee's together sometime. I'm totally fine.

I'm good. You never, everyone always tries to talk through getting the wind knocked out of them. Literally the only thing you have to do is don't do anything don't speak you're like no it's fine I hit my lungs all the time on stuff you walk around damn I haven't had the wind knocked out of me in a while

yeah it happened a couple years ago I had it happen and it's very scary I'm getting like flashbacks of like friends like tackling you from behind for no reason and just oh no i'm good no because i would i like i would be the moaning kid i'd be the one who's like and then you always start a couple i can't breathe i can't breathe and it always you instantly like your body all it wants to do is on the ground and roll back and forth for some reason that's like i feel like your body instantly does that really the body the shit the body does is makes no sense like when it's like oh dude he just fell hard

don't let him breathe it's like what it's kind of like now's the time where oxygen's gonna really hurt us it's like when you're scared your body's like shit piss make a shit and piss make a shit and piss now now release the house we. Now. Now. Release the house. We've got to make sure. Not only is this going to be the worst moment of his life, he's scared to death, also he's doing it with poop in his pants. Well, it's like, he just fell. He can't breathe. Don't let him breathe.

And he's like, he's scared. He's embarrassed. Make him shit and piss. It makes no sense why it happens. He's in a cold room going on to a stage. Now. Sweat. Sweat.

Sweat. Keep sweating. Damn, your body is constantly against you yeah it makes no sense your body's not there for it when you need it

no it makes no sense I mean it does a great job the body does an amazing job of like I was thinking about that where you're like my heart's just beating on its own

that's like the high thought of like oh yeah it's just doing that am I making it do that is it doing it it's like the body's great at doing everyday shit but when you really do that? Is it doing it? It's like, the body's great at doing everyday shit,

but when you really need the body, like, it doesn't show up a lot in general. It doesn't... I just don't, you know... Like, right there, I needed my body to get those words out better, and it was nowhere to be found. It was all fucking breaking bricks with Sensei Kwan.

Breaking bricks? What the fuck kind of sensei Kwan. Breaking bricks? What the fuck kind of Sensei are you with, bro? Your Sensei didn't do cool demonstration shit? Would, not bricks. Oh, man. Oh, you had a pussy? I didn't have Sensei Kwan's. Dude, you had a guy on cocaine.

I know Sensei Kwan's. The bricks he was breaking were bricks of cocaine. With his nose, he's like, I have to bleep his name out because this guy is probably still alive and will fucking kick my ass. He finds out that there's a podcast out there where I'm talking about him being a cocaine karate teacher turned DJ. He's been dead for at least a day. I don't think he is and I've got to bleep it out. Anyway, going on to how your sensei broke the wood like a pussy i'm

gonna have to do an early rap on this pup i gotta drive the old all right well fuck i'm ass no that's all right we uh i think we covered some amazing ground the one thing we can talk about real quick and i brought them uh our new sponsor unofficially is uh tom's antacid chewy bites orange and cream flavor yeah I found a loophole. That's going to come across great audio-wise. You know what? While we're talking about it, I'm going to go ahead and pop one right now. I'm going to give Matty a Tum to Tum Tum Tums as well.

Guys, welcome to Tum Talk. This is Tum's Talk. Tum Talk. I want to show you the most delicious thing ever, and I found a loophole into eating candy now. Yeah. I found a loophole into eating candy now. Yeah. And it's Tums, Chewy Bite, Orange and Cream.

$60 per bottle. So go get an unofficial sponsor of the podcast now. Check them out. The real sponsor is Shamrock. Here, check this out. I'm telling you, this is Tums Talk. This is where it's ASMR. This is good podcasting. It's ASMR. Everybody wants us to have watery mouth. this is thumb stock. This is good. This is where it's ASMR. This is good podcasting. It's ASMR.

Everybody wants us to have watery mouth. That is so good. Everybody wants us to have juicy mouth when we talk. So we can make sounds like that. It tastes like if you're eating a toasty roll. Juicy mouth. Yeah, get the job done. So yeah, but the other real sponsors, Shamrock Sun, go there.

Yeah, check it out. 10% discount code. Use the code. Idiot. Rockin' Idiot. I think it's good rendings. I think we just ran out of gas from laughing too hard. That was a fucking fun boy.

Matt. John, what do you got coming up? Oh. I got things coming up. You got what? This Saturday, you'll be on as well. PorchFest in Collingswood. That's right.

Pretty cool. Rob Cody and myself are running that. We got some other great comics on there. Paul Carson, Cody Wright, you, Matthew Franklin, Peoples. That's right. And Brendan Donegan. So that's going to be really fun. Yeah, big step.

On a front porch. A couple kids. Come out. Drink some beverages with that. Just do it. I also have, damn, I'm already forgetting my dates. I do. I finally get dates and I'm like, I don't even know, man.

Dude, this kid's too big. I'll just stop floundering and you should go to Montague Comedy. I'm going to be at Axe and Arrow on October 14th. Bang. Oh, you and I, October 2nd. We're heading back up to Harrisburg. Let's go, baby. For the Backyard Barbecue Show.

Featuring Headliner. Yeah. Oh, man. We'll talk about that as it gets closer. That was weird. I mean, it's pretty close now. But that, yeah. Smonte Comedy, Hacks Comedy Golf.

Trying to get a couple of things working with that. Hopefully soon. Hell yeah. I know. Maybe I'll be on at some point. We'll see. What do you got coming up? What do I got coming up?

John dodging that question there. September. Damn, I just made one of some point. We'll see. What do you got coming up? What do I got coming up? John dodging that question there. September. Damn, I just made one of those flyer things too, and I should have just pulled it up and read it. Go on. I'll get back to mine because I know that people are wondering. I think I remember my porch fest. We got the Saturday, John said. That's going to be a good time.

Come by. Come hang out. Bring us some beer. The 25th, I will be at the V&B Adventure Farm, which is, you know. You know. The V that stands the V&B Adventure Farm, which is, you know, you know. The V that stands for Very, Very Adventure Farm. Very, very. No, it's a cool thing.

It's a Soul Joles production show, so that's always a good time. Mark DiMaio, I'm hosting for. He's very funny. That'll be cool. New York guy. October 2nd, I'll be with big old Johnny Matzzo ball over here. And then October 5th, I will be, um, in upper Darby,

Pennsylvania at something barbecue place. I have a thing on my thing. And then I think I'm, I think, I think on my Instagram and then the thing, I think I'm, I think it's, I got to get to the doctor and get it looked at the 23rd, a big,

big show. That'll be a fun one. I'm hosting for Lamar Lee, Rob Cody, and the headliners, Cassandra D all very funny people. That'll be a fun one. I'm hosting for LaMare Lee, Rob Cody, and the Headliners, Cassandra D, all very funny people. That is at – I actually have no fucking idea. Just go to Mad People's Comedy.

Just check it out. Yeah, we'll figure it out. I found mine. The only things I missed were all of them. The 25th Kung Fu Necktie for Ned's show. Oh, yeah. Loaded Laughs up in Easton at Purely Bakers on the 29th And then

Later in October I'll talk about that later I think that's it Rest in peace Norm Macdonald Norm Macdonald, seriously That's another big thing Norm Macdonald, one of the funniest of all time Very sad

Love Big Norm, gonna miss him John I mean you didn't know him, but you feel like you did. No, he... I felt like I did. We might... We're getting too much into it. Yeah, we should just let it ride.

All right. All right, Big Norm. Love your mom. All right. I don't know what that means. I'm a little bitter No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bitter