That Rules Podcast - Episode #23: Bank Throbbers

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Words into mics

🎵 Woo! This is definitely my first try. Put your kids to bed. Don't give your brother any head. You've reached episode michael jordan 23 but unfortunately this episode is going to change its number after the game to 45 and switch sports and then come back and then switch again because it's the final episode of handsome ladies podcast what's going on here with the one the only the bronly matthew francis people's brett elevens hoodie joggers he sits he stands he stands up comedy how does he do it oh so fluid dude this is gonna be the worst podcast we've ever done you ever thought about that i uh i didn't listen to a goddamn word you just said you're trying to turn this light on

lights bro dude we're here we're doing the podcast i think it's like honestly i feel the exact opposite of what i just said i think this is going to be an all-timer i think we're going to light it up like a christmas tree like john said it's a 23rd episode it's actually the lebron episode because we like to attribute it to the greatest basketball player of all time, not the second best player of all time. And that being said, John started it initially by saying, put the kids to bed and give your mom some lead. And then was like, nah, that's no good. Then he cut it out. Then he goes, put the kids to bed and give your brother.

I said don't give your brother head. Oh, that's like a PSA? Yeah. Okay. It's like the more you know. Do you remember that Star White thing? Was that before your time? I know what it is.

I didn't see it live. It's become a meme. I didn't see it live. I would be lying if I didn't say I spent like 20 minutes today trying to take that the more you know meme and put handsome idiots on there. I like that. I failed at it miserably yeah so that'll never happen you're a solid photo editor guy it's it's so easy to make it look okay

at editing stuff yeah when i have like i ended up finally springing for is my investment in the podcast the uh non-free version on my phone you spent a little coin it was like 55 for the year get the balls out of which is insane is insane. Which I probably could have just bought actual Photoshop on my computer. What's that thing called? PixArt. Is that a racial slur? It's PixArt. But no, it's, I don't know.

PixArt, this is a read ad. God damn it. This fucking guy, dude. Is this a read ad or an ad read? Bro, we're professionals. Dude, we get paid $300,000 a year to do this podcast. I feel like there's somebody out there that would pay us $300 a year to not do this podcast. That would be everybody who loves and cares for us.

Listeners, if you don't want us to keep doing this podcast, Venmo Matt and I each $150 and we will stop right now. I mean, I will fucking quit comedy. Do you leave any balance in your Venmo? Huh? Do you ever leave a balance in your Venmo Matt and I each $150, and we will stop right now. I mean, I will fucking quit comedy. Do you leave any balance in your Venmo? Huh? Do you ever leave a balance in your Venmo? John, let me put it this way. I'm 25 with a decent job and an apartment that's too nice. What do you think the answer to that question is?

You always somehow keep it at $69 just so that when you take your phone out, you can go. Dude, I love a bit, but you know what I love more? Shoes for urban gentlemen that I buy for myself. That's meaning you see yourself as an urban gentleman. Deep down, I think I'm a black guy. I really actually have always felt like that. And I think I've told this before. I am not white.

I am white. You transcend white. I transcend white because I'm orange. You're another level of it. I'm orange. How transcend white. I transcend white because I'm orange. You're another level of it. I'm orange. How many white people do you know that are orange? How many white people do you know that are white? That's my question.

Let's get real with it. Well, in this day and age, you're not a good looker. Other than albino people, like, no, like, it's weird. The race, the colors of the race don't, they're not accurate. Okay. Like, they were very quick when they were like, oh, that's a black person. Then someone's like, dude, have you ever seen the color black like that guy's not black that's really just like like if somebody looked and they're like oh white i get it if you're gonna boil it down to

its like most basic yeah yeah i mean if you're going and it's easy to be the easiest thing to be racist about is just use colors colors like the first thing you use so yeah shitty people are just gonna be like all right well it's yeah it's only referred to as like a taupe i like taupe it's not actually not bad that's actually a beautiful skin color taupe is a shade of brown though is your hat's probably taupe right my hat's more tan honestly my hat doesn't subscribe to a color range or a race because it is transcends race dude a lot that's kind of why you brought this up i was i don't like all the races no i love races i actually don't like uh white people no can you imagine if i went a different direction with that oh boy that would have been fun but uh i was gonna do a bit about the hat but

i forgot it probably didn't have any heat packed behind it but you know what i got heat packed behind the rest of this fucking podcast i feel great right now you seem great do i seem great i've never seen someone i'm not faking this what fired up and chill at the same time i'm fired up and chill baby you can't the intensity you're bringing with a full leg cross full dude leg cross where the top of my leg doesn't touch my bottom leg yeah but you you go like very like the borderline of the effeminate leg cross which is fine if you can oh dude is that comfy though is that comfy for you yeah bro yeah i always nice i think i go just leg uh foot on the knee that's fake because every guy who does that wants to do what i'm doing what i cross my legs like i got a gorgeous flowery that's how i sit dude i

don't cross my leg like i do that, like I put my leg like this. You know how early I have to talk just so I can sit like this? My balls are touching my belly button at all times when I sit like this. I am in agonizing pain to sit like this, but I'm bending the gender norms, baby. I got two words for you. Infertile. Because I sit like this and I cut off the blood supply to my unit. I got a couple more words for you. Can you help me up off the couch i got one name for you ken it was a kid i went to middle school with and he was odd kenny was that as a reference to something or you just went to school with a weird guy named kenny he's a young man you don't know many kennys that are ceos yeah that's a weird

unless he like i think if your name is kenny you have to be the ceo of like a popeyes i'm kenny richardson the ceo of popeyes yeah i like that that's nice that you went southern for the ceo of popeyes i thought it was the lady who's in the commercial that like she borderline does a southern racist accent where she's like i'm putting all my spouses in here i know the chickens are going to be and i'm like she's about to do something wildly racist, but I can't call her on it. Dude, imagine she's British in real life. She's like, okay, I'll do the part. Yeah. All right, you got to be a Southern grand.

I'm going to slap a little fat basculant. Was that good enough for you? All the producers are like, she's laying it on a little thick. This is a little much. I'm like, I don't know what it is. She is from Yorkshire, as the kids would call it. Southern Yorkshire. I guess we'll mention this. So here's an

idea we had for the podcast. Anybody listening, weigh in on this. Ending it in ourselves. Yeah, putting it to bed, just like people who don't give their brother's head. True. We were thinking about doing the podcast on an Instagram live for the first like 10 minutes.

Let you guys really tap inside of us, see what our organs look like. You also get a chance to really see the elaborate setup we've gone through to make this a visual podcast. Yeah. Extremely elaborate. You're going to think like, oh my God, did they put that many hours into making that wall behind Matt just look like a 25-year-old's apartment? Yeah. It's not even a wall. Yeah.

A studio. We're in a studio. It is a trifold. Remember when you were in middle school and you used to make a science project? Oh, yeah. It's a trifold. Yeah, do a trifold. It's a nine trifold.

Did you ever have to enter the science fair? Yeah. We all had to do it. Yeah. We didn't get an option. What was yours? Did you- We did it every year. No, what was your- I had to do it. Yeah. We didn't get an option. What was yours? Did you? We did it every year.

No, what was yours? We did like an invention fair, which I'm realizing was just bullshit. Yeah. And they acted like, I remember them like selling it like, whatever invention wins gets made by the world. One of the kids in my class invented the cure for cancer and Big Pharma shut them down. Nice. They came to our science fair.

And they shut it down. They came to our science fair and they were just and they like shut it down they just smashed this trifle we were all sitting and talking and we're like dude you have a red dot on your forehead and then bang dead silencer put in a bed cure for cancer turns out it was just pez pez was a hispanic kid in our class he was like i can fix it i know how to fix that lane did you ever do you remember what your science or your invention uh best one i ever did was i mean my dad did it my dad basically did all of them he made a fucking calculator what a nerd i know i was like you just made how do you make a calculator dude he took this huge thing of fucking, like, science. He took all this science.

He's like, come outside to the garage. And then he just kicked a bunch of math into it. Yeah, he's like, come out to the garage. I got a bunch of science out there. He's like, I've been hoarding science because I'm older. And I can't reason with my life is behind me. But he was like, he took a big thing of plywood. And then he put, like, wiring. And what you would do, I don't know how the fuck he, I got to talk to him about this.

This is actually unbelievable. So he put like numbers one through nine. Your dad built this? I swear to God. For you? For me. And I got an 84, dude. I got an 84 on it.

Dude, my cunt fucking teacher was like. Kev wasn't that great at science. No, dude. Kev fucked hard, dude. Kev. No matter what equation you put in there, the answer is just boobs. Yeah, he was a big fan of tits. I gotta give it to him.

But, you know, nobody yelled at fucking Einstein. So he made a calculator. So he would take, he took a big, we took wood. And then he fucking. You know, the number one material used in calculators. Well, you know, wood is just tree mass. So we started with wood. We put a bunch of water on it.

Yeah. And then some dirt. We got wood, water ice, and my cousin Tim. And then my dad just ended up hot gluing a calculator to my pants. And hot glue is actually what my dad affectionately calls my mother. Boom. Pantulator was born. Yeah, hot glue.

I'm making the kid a fucking calculator in the garage where the science is you comment or not she's like we've been divorced for eight years you need to move out you live in the fucking bathroom anyway so we fucking mixed his fucking calculator dude i'm talking plywood he puts the numbers one through nine one two three four five six seven eight nine you know how it always goes yeah didn't put a zero no zero he's like zeros are for fucking bitches you know it's like they're trying to get rid of pennies like zero to hero just like he just get rid of zeros think about it dude but he gets real philosophical it's like zero is the actually non-existence of numbers so it's not even a number it's

representative of the non-existence so like you're 99 years old guess what boom you're back to one that's your benjamin potten then so bro i don't know i i don't even remember how i made it so so it's like one through nine and what he would do i genuinely don't understand there was just two wires so you would put um and it was only multiple it was like uh like addition so you'd put like you put a one i swear to god dude you'd put a wire on one and then you'd put like a wire on four and then five would light up oh okay i don't know how he did it it's just your dad on the other side of the flashlight he's like yeah matt as he touches the numbers i need you to whisper them to me dad i think it was a nine or a six i'm also on the other side i can't tell which side it was

my dad had to sleep overnight in my school's gymnasium at the science fair because he had to hide a flashlight underneath the plywood dad everyone's asking why they have to stop adding stuff after number nine is it because there's no zero on this thing so i fucking i get i got an 84 apparently it wasn't that great oh my teacher who watched me fucking like pull my balls out in classes like this guy didn't make it what grade was this like six your sixth grade teacher thought you were just aware of how to work with wiring and electronics yeah no she was like oh yeah he's gonna be an hvac specialist she well she's like she's not looking at an electrician she

i had you also at the catholic school she was probably just like can i hit you and we can get the fuck out of here i was like can i hit it yeah you'll be hot nuns no no that's only in porn that exists my first grade teacher was hot when when i was in first grade and then she had none no regular old broad okay yeah so yeah you had nuns as teachers though no no that was like the fucking 1950s people that went to public school was like what do nuns slap you in the dick with a ruler and we're like no we wish we kiss when we get angry dave's mom's our teacher no it literally was like my girlfriend's mom was her teacher that's called homeschool oh yeah that's why she never went to a school she dressed up as a nun it was weird

hold on well that's your mic now so you got an 84 on the science experiment did i ever did it got an 84 so ours was weird it wasn't even like a it wasn't a science fair as in like you have to demonstrate how science works yeah it was like a invention fair you should have come up with an invention so like i know one i vividly remember this it's weird one person had like a mailbox that was basically like the tube at the bank that would shoot the tube down yeah so you would put the mail in and i'm like oh so you just invented a thing that already exists yeah you just you just invented so they call that somebody did that somebody else did like it was like a snow plow that could go on like a regular car i was like like, that's not a bad idea. And then I invented what I'm coining as lightweight scuba gear.

And by that, what I mean is I duct taped two liter soda bottles and a hose. I'm going to just created my first like gravity bong basically. And then I made shoulder pads and then i like shoulder straps and then i called my uncle who my mom told me was certified in scuba he lives in upstate new york like where do you nowhere near where you gotta be locked up there so he definitely just went scuba diving once and my mom was like yeah he's he's really you may want to check in with uncle steve he also played pro hockey it's like, he just went to a Flyers. He just likes the Flyers.

So yeah, I called my uncle and he was giving me the ins and outs of scuba and I'm writing it on the trifold. Yeah. And I remember it was a trifold that looked like water too. So I'm pretty sure I bought an A because I like, I went to CVS and cleared them out. Yeah. The invention was incredibly stupid. Yeah.

I just, it was me with two liters and then the top of a two liter and a rubber band around my mouth. Like as the mouthpiece. Like a ball bag. It was just me in the library. I was like, that's a ball of built in. Yeah. Hello, sharks. Oh, shit.

I didn't realize I was on Shark Tank basically. I was in shark tank i mean hello sharks there's another pain when you're doing all your ski diving and your pants are too heavy they're just looking at a kid with a foggy face going what mark cubitt just gives you the double fingers he's like fuck you pussy boy the qVC bitch is like, I can get you $100 million. I'll go with the dumb bitch over here. She says, I don't want to go to QVC. Can I see your boobs or no?

Be honest. Did you say be honest about it? Dude, wow. Science fairs really were something else. And I think the name of my product was just SCUBA. Do you know what SCUBA stands for? for scuba is actually an acronym uh let me try swimming because you might be in australia scumba yeah i can see how you think that okay well it's not uh it's actually swimming because you

uh it's actually swimming because you better asshole no uh there is no m where did i get yes that's another racial self-contained underwater breathing apparatus so i learned that from doing the science from your uncle who was a professional yeah my professional uncle professional hockey playing he's a he's a golfing professional scuba diver apparently professional hockey player yes because he had to learn how to scuba dive because he would be on like the the lake like a frozen over lake and if it would crack through through while whilst he'd have to scoop and luckily he was already wearing my lightweight uncle in the middle of a frozen lake slowly losing his life because he has two rc cola two two carcinogenic empty seven up bottles he's like holy shit i think i could

feel the hypothermia i have bubbles in my bloodstream is that good or bad oh wow how do we never talk about science fairs before? We're too busy talking about karate. Yeah, we got to fucking chill with all the karate talk. No, we don't. We're the karate cast. What did you do in the last week karate related? Dude, mind your fucking business, dude.

You know what I did? Whatever I felt like doing. How about that? Does that answer your tune? You just took the leg cross to an even more evident level. Ladies and gentlemen, the only way I can describe this is, all right, right leg. This is why we got July. Straight out.

Yeah. Sticking tootsie-wootsies up toward the ceiling. I got tootsies in the sky. And the left leg just dangled ever so strategically over it. Dude, I got tootsies in the sky with diamonds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has no testicles. I have. Meanwhile, I'm over here just manspreading.

Dude, don't you wish your balls were inside? I wish I could detach my balls. I wish, yeah. That was actually my next invention. That would actually be so good. I was like, are your balls all long, Smear-Bone? All right, if you've got a little bit of a – What about detachable testicles?

Go to the principal's office? You're right. That's a good call. Mark Cuban is like $3.4 million and you can have my balls. detachable balls like in the in the summer when you're laying and like down the shore and they're stuck to your legs yeah humid humid yeah i wish that we just had more cartoonish features like when i get scared i wish i could like and then they're like in my stomach yeah you know do you ever see the guys that can like take repeated kicks to the nuts and they claim what they can do is they can

retract like your balls try to retract into you like when it's cold lady listeners the yeah check this out this is how nuts work this was also john's next year the science fair yeah balls retract yeah why is he still wearing the school gear from last year? Yeah, he's really committed to... But yeah, so your balls retract. When they're getting smaller, when it's cold, they're trying to go inside of you to get away from the cold, which that's just science right there. That's all that is.

Nothing gross about that. You think God invented balls? That's science. No, that was Lady God. But there are guys that claim that they can like retract them on their own yeah and they can just take like thwacks to the groin yeah there was a sign of a guy i saw recently somebody's posted in vegas and it was like kick me in the balls uh if i fall double your money if i flinch triple your money or something like that. Oh, wow. I would have lost. I would,

people talk about losing it all when they go to Vegas. Yeah. I would have lost my entire savings. Just run kicking this guy in his fucking nutless crotch. I don't know. Did you have to kick? I think it's a kick. I wouldn't,

I wouldn't want to get my hands near anyone's crotch. I'll just say, I'll give him maybe a little fellatio, and then I'll be like, I win. I'll do it for the coin. True. Yeah, it just has to be something that involves his balls. Yeah. I just, like, seduce him.

He's like, I don't know. They usually don't do this foot. What are you doing after this? I don't know. Yeah, but detachable nuts would be nice. Yeah. What other inventions can we come up with? No more women.

For some reason, you saying that with a mustache, I'm just noticing. Bro, do I ever have a mustache? Just adds to the elements of it. Yeah, dude. Bro, I have a mustache these days. No shade in November. How about no girls ever again in November? Yeah, no more broads because we just want to play Madden 2007.

Who's game? I'm so bad at Madden, but if life was just playing Madden and not having to live. Yeah. Yeah. I'd probably kill myself. Well, this is called the John Dyes cast. I don't know. I've never been good at sports video games

and that's an emasculating thing i've i've been terrible at them my entire i stopped playing i remember the last time i played madden was in college uh my roommate's brother came to town and like he was older than us and looking back i thought he was like 50 he was probably like 25 yeah we're like yo this guy's so old now looking back i was like a fucking dork he was just going back and hanging out at college yeah he definitely tried to fuck all of like our girlfriends that came to the party sure but before the party our tradition was like just get hammered and play mad and like everybody else pretty good yeah go upstairs wash your detach your nuts clean them put them back on party starts but we're playing madden and the party's starting he's

like all right we're gonna play one more like, yeah, let's do it. I was losing like 82 to nothing at halftime. Yeah. And I just remember being like, hey, man, I just want to go. I want to go party. This is pointless to me. And him being like, you have to finish this. You started it.

Oh, I hate that guy. And he beat me and gloated. I was like, dude, you won like 88 to nothing in the end. I'm not good at sports numbers this is a football number maybe it divides down to whatever score it could be but and like he like gloated about and i was like yep this is this where i retire from that was probably my retirement from video games yeah i haven't owned a system since like living on my own out of college i didn't own any systems i i almost never play i tried to play

video games the other day i actually in my room i hooked up my xbox game for the first time in like months i played red dead redemption i heard that see i'm that what that's what worries me because everything about that game i feel like i could just lose six hours a night on that i played pretty easily for like two and a half hours a day i remember one of the longest things i ever video game i ever played video game wise was uh my friend had the game driver for playstation like the original playstation where you literally just drive around the town but there were like cheat codes to make it so that like time could never run out you could never die so literally is before we were old enough to drive yeah yeah we just drove around a map of

miami for an entire saturday night yeah dude and we kept ramping cars off of uh it was before grand theft auto i think before off of a bridge and they would pile up and i we literally put five and a half hours into this yeah dude and then the end of it was like hey you want to watch some hbo boobs and then we all just get some shut eye and act like we're not all touching ourselves and the lights go out but yeah the driver thing was that was like the peak so red dead redemption i would just be riding a horse around dude the first hour of the game you had to like accomplish some mode and then they're like all right go out and do do anything you want at all and i'm like and that's i don't want to all. And I'm like, I don't want to do tasks.

I don't want to fucking have to, like, help the sheriff find the bandit. Like, I want to go and I want to shoot a guy in the head that works supporting his family. Yeah. I want to go and I want to fucking ride a horse. You know this is just a plot to Westworld, right? Oh, is that that shit? I never watched. Westworld is Red Dead Red redemption from what i hear it sounds like it's just if west

world was a video game well west world is stupid huh or was it no it was really good i watched the first season and i like i'll probably start it back up now that i'm thinking about it but uh it was one where you could watch like three in a row and you're like i'm really invested in this all right i always say i'm gonna try out a show but i almost never do um but i also remember when red dead redemption was really big there was somewhere online where a guy like live streamed on twitch of him just like riding in a straight line yeah and i think it went on for like days before the map map is – It's infinite, right? It's scaled to like the Midwest over to the West Coast. So it's legit like –

So it's as if you were like traveling to – Okay, so that makes sense. So then – All right, this wasn't my dumb brain making this thing up. No, it's just crazy. I mean – I remember he just like rode in a straight line and like people were just checking in. But it's hilarious to think too that there's probably –

If let's say 900,000 people tuned into that yeah that means that there's probably a hundred thousand that watch that endlessly that's and that's what scares me about video games is like not is it just like a big time consumer for people like that's fine like i have really close friends and every night like i sit on my phone and play tetris while i'm watching reruns of new girl yeah so they're like yeah i take that time and i go play nhl with our friends and we talk shit yeah and i've told them too i was like oh i feel like i kind of have it like podcasting gets that out for me i guess like bullshitting and uh but like the fact that beyond that there's people that just watch people play video games after they just played video crazy and it's an industry that is bigger than like some professional sports yeah it's

unreal it's it's absolutely insane and i i dude i i want to be the guy who's like i don't get it this and that but like the main reason i don't play video games is because i'm too lazy to play video games yeah i mean i don't have enough i don't really have enough time and that's where like i think the watching video games and just binge watching in general like that's what i i could try to shit on video games too but it's like yeah i've binge watched the same season like i've watched the same season of the glass blowing competition on netflix yeah that's three times like so i can't talk that might be inexcusable no watch that no i won't dude i simply will not oh all right well i'll get i can't even let that happen it's a good one like if you want mindless but like you're like oh maybe i do need

to get some glassware or the ratatouille design dude any show i watch that makes me buy glassware is a bad show i said so this when i watched it uh it made me really want to get into glassware and then i looked at how expensive glassware is and i was like maybe i'll just find something good and like you know how like uh tj maxx also sells glassware dude you feel like a guy who'll watch a series of something and then like get into it oh yeah it's bad if you watch like a if you watch a docuseries on the nazi regime you'd be like what's up with the third right these days maybe you should start busting off that old regalia maybe start riking it up no i do i get into i get into that bed too like now having a kid

like if she gets something cool i really want the adult cool version of it like she got a pair of uh vans from her aunt and oh that's cute i was like i haven't had vans in forever yeah if you guys match vans that's cute i buy a lot of stuff that like kind of matches my daughter my wife gets mad because i don't buy her the girl version of it yeah which i would if she like she's not picky but it's like if i bought her something like a big i mean it's not the right size or something but like there's a lot of things that my daughter and i have are like matchy matchy i think it's incredible and it was like it's something that my skin would probably crawl if i was if i didn't have a kid someone's talking about this i'm enjoying it i don't know good all right i think it's dude i'm a big matching ass bitch so it's also my excuse to buy shit for me now i was

gonna say that's the real thing yeah like oh i gotta match with the baby i wanted a one of my favorite bands growing up was this band the get up kids okay and they're all like dads like one started a spin-off band that it's called terrible twos and it's like kids music but like parents can listen to it too like i've listened to it before i had a kid like it's still just good tunes okay but then it's also great for a kid like some of its educational stuff but anyway the get up kids had like new merch come out and i was like oh i want to get a get up kid shirt i haven't had one in forever i was like my favorite band and i looked i was like let me see if they also have like a onesie so i can justify it yeah and they do so i was like oh

this all right so the next time i'm fucked up at 11 o'clock at night i'm probably gonna order this i'll just start when i make regrettable purchases i'll just say that i'm buying it for your daughter too there it is no why'd you buy a gun my girlfriend's like why did you buy youth jordan freeze i'm like i don't really know actually oh the kids jordan game is dangerous and also like kids jordans i was about to say because it really weirds me out that the size is called grade school. Okay. Like why do you have – it just can't be boys or girls.

Like grade school just – Yeah, grade school, preschool. Grade school and a size. But it seems like it's really in sneakers. It's like grade school size seven. I'm like, oh, just say kids. Yeah, that's weird. It definitely like sounds like they're trying to be a little sexy kind of grade school like it's like we're gonna watch them wear they're not kids

grade schoolers and it's like but it also pissed me off when i'll see a price on like a like a cool sneaker i was just gonna say they're only 80 dollars yeah i have it like in the cart and then checking out it's like did you want this scent for your next basketball season i was like oh these are for children i think i stole my mom's credit card is that why there's elmo on this this pair of insurance dude i saw the funniest thing speaking of stealing your mom's credit card i went to go uh i online ordered coffee because i'm 25 and a piece of shit dude i got there to taste i every time i online order coffee i get there too late and the fucking i get sweetener and milk in it

and always just like falls to the bottom yeah if you're gonna do a ahead of time order just get a black coffee nah i can't because here's my thing i love coffee i just hate the way coffee tastes so i got well i meant like i was gonna say bring it back to your house and but then i also remember i do a seance what do you mean in your fridge and there's nothing you could doctor that's bullshit you know there's beer in there no you know you're gonna pour beer into your coffee doesn't depends what time it is no it's funny uh think about this there's tons of like coffee stouts and like beer coffee now that was a joke on the drew carey show back in the 90s he made a beer slash coffee called buzz beer and everyone was like i will never take off so like

the whole show was like that was it and it's funny now drew carrey looks like all the dudes that brew their own beer yeah that's a good so i would like to think that drew carrey birthed that like thick beard stocky guy with tattoos but not in a biker yeah yeah that beer that made enough beer in his backyard or in his garage and now somehow got a loan to start his own dude whose brew is it anyway yeah there it is the brew carry show am i right there it is there now let's keep going dude by the way fuck drew carry i watched one of his late night sets well he's one of those guys you're like oh he was a comedian i forgot i watched one of his late night sets hey man make other jokes than making fun of your stupid fucking glasses yeah bro i mean the most

well you know i look like this and then the crowd was like we hate you we hate the way you look and then like but also i look like an idiot and they're like we don we hate you we hate the way you look and then like but also i look like an idiot and they're like we don't respect you we never will and like just hard laughter and it's almost like you want to run a game show and then johnny carson's back there being like i've definitely had sex with kids like he's just you know he just like looks annoying am i wrong i mean like 16 17 carson puts off the kid toucher uh you don't look at him i think he liked the animals that he always had on they would always have like jack hannah on or hannon or hannah one of the two yeah and he would bring animals on like that's always a trope on late night tv like

the animal guy comes on oh he's got a snake and david letterman scared of snakes oh and david letterman plays it up but johnny carson would get like really into it i think he would probably bang one of those animals before he touched a kid. I was about to do a Johnny Carson. Let me hear Johnny Carson. We've got a really good show. All right, guys. We've got a really good show.

That was me doing Stewie Griffin doing Johnny Carson. We have a really good show, Stewie. Really good show. We're really excited to see you, Brian. God damn it. No, we're not turning into a – Dude, that's a killer Stewie. Man, why don't we get another soda? Another soda pop soda pop uh yeah so drew carrie i don't know he pisses me off he's somebody who

like i i love the drew carrie show as a as a ute and i was like oh this is like the future of comedy and then that bled into like king of queens i love that one king quince killer but kevin james is a legitimate killer i still i need to go back and watch it because it was probably one of my favorites his comedy central half hour i could from when i was a kid in early 90s late 90s early 2000s probably i could recite it as a kid i watched it so much really and i wonder if it still holds up he had a whole bit about uh the guy leaving a so this it wouldn't stand today because it's talking about on a voice machine like on a voicemail

leaving a number he's like anyway call me back and he would fire the numbers off too quick yeah and that oh i've seen that that went for nine minutes yeah i don't know if there's even a joke in there no i know it's amazing so i don't know you always i even a joke in there. No, I know exactly what you're talking about. But it's amazing, so I don't know. I thought that. I've always thought... I won't say why I thought it. But you can change a bit to fit... Remember back in the day when you had a voice machine and then you could just do the bit?

And then you could do a Michael Winslow thing. He was like... Dude, Kevin James, bro. How about Kevin James and Adam Sandler are funny? I always wondered if this was the bit or if they had these thoughts of themselves. It's more Adam Sandler.

And I think... It might sound better on another podcast that I saw, but I wasn't thinking about it. The fact that they write themselves in as like the cool guy yeah like adam sanders like yeah man what oh i have a like big daddy's like oh i got a kid now well i live in my loft apartment i wonder if i could take care they never piss you off watching big daddy and you see that really cool loft like those apartments in like that movie specifically yeah made me think that

like oh that's the kind of place i'm gonna live in those exist and then you realize that he was a toll booth worker yeah and he lived now granted he lived with an attorney but like if they're going halfsies on rent that's a four thousand dollar apartment yeah and it's like a thirty five thousand dollar a year job as a toll booth worker and then i mean even if fucking john stewart's making like a little 150 action that yeah they couldn't afford that i still think about that i'll do rent you do utilities type deal maybe and but even still adam sandler you gotta write yourself a little less cool and he knows he's not cool but it's like you know what it might be he knows he's not cool in real life so he writes himself as sick and no he does it's like every three movies he writes himself as it's like cool retarded and then a third character it'll be like

little nicky retarded guy yeah and then he's like oh happy good one was before it but and then like smart guy cool guy and then hubie halloween yeah where he literally this i haven't watched that was that good it's not bad i know i've heard people. Was that good? It's not bad. I know. People loved it. It's entertaining. It's not even bad. It's entertaining. It's pretty good. Yeah.

You got to go in with zero expectations. That's what I hate too. People are like, yeah. Normally it was a terrible Halloween movie. It's like, all right, so you get really excited about a child's holiday. Yeah. And the movies associated with it. And then get really mad that it didn't meet your standards.

Don't fuck yourself. That's the same guy that's brewing his own beer being the guy who hates everything is worse than the guy who likes it yeah just play just dumb yourself down and enjoy i think i could dumb myself down to the point where i enjoy most movies i can get something enjoyable out of it uh that's not necessarily because movies that are like bad acting and like dumb stories you just watch it and you're like i honestly those movies i watch i'm like i can't believe how much money these people like have will you turn a movie off halfway through if it's bad very rarely so the only thing i think of when we talked about

and watched part of it on here was and i didn't watch the whole movie was that uh fucking the hero or the uh malignant city malignant baby so like that's probably the worst movie i've seen in a while So I can't say I turned that one off Because I just I watched that one basically on fast forward To get to scenes that I heard people mention But I don't think I've ever

Turned a movie off halfway through I've fallen asleep during almost every movie Oh yeah I've definitely But like I've never been like Honestly the only movies I turn off halfway through Are movies that i like and i know i'm gonna fall asleep yeah i mean i'm saying turn it off for a reason i'm like not for me like i've already invested 45 minutes i'm gonna see it you know what i'll maybe i'll take it back i've never turned something off halfway through but i've turned something off in the past in the first like 10 15 minutes that i'm like this is

not halfway through though that one feels like it doesn't count because if you go halfway through you've effectively watched the movie and we're like i'm done but if you watch first 10 you're like it's such dog i can't be yeah i can't even think like modern i do that a lot with uh documentaries i'll say if documentary that's what it is if it doesn't grab me in the first five minutes and i kind of can see where this story we're we gotta run out of like things that can be like how there's how many serial killers like they're gonna run out of documentaries at some point then it's like the documentary about how that documentary was bullshit like yeah it's kind of like a real incestuous part of the film industry where it's damn nice term bro like that what are you writing for? Rotten Tomatoes?

Dude. Maybe. Dude, is this guy writing for- I found it. Yeah, I found that that one was like incest. Yo, is this Johnny Tomatoes? Yeah, that documentary was a lot like a brother and a sister fucking. That might be a new segment of the show is you have Johnny Tomatoes and you're talking

about a shitty movie. Oh, Jotten Tomatoes? Johnny Tomatoes. Jotten Tomatoes. Yo, Johnny, you got to talk him like a Delco actor. Jotting Tomatoes. Yo, Johnny, you gotta talk in like a Delco accent. Jotting Tomatoes. Yeah, you seen

his fucking Grown Ups 2? That's bullshit. There's no way Adam Sandler's that good at hoop. He ain't that good. That's another thing, dude. Rotten Tomatoes,

or fucking Grown Ups 2, the big climax of the movie is they have like a basketball game. Yeah, it's because he was supposed to be like the, like, star basketball player back in the day. And that is my point. Yeah. Nobody would look at he was supposed to be like the like star basketball player back in the

deck and that is my point yeah nobody would look at adam sandler and be like he actually is a pretty good basketball player nah he's he's good for a 5'9 jew like he's i mean you think he's 5'9 yeah i thought i'd say he's six foot i would say adam sandler is the most 5'9 person of all time dude when you look at him first of all no shoulders no shoulders. He wears the baguette. He makes Anwen mixtape look... I think he's keeping Anwen in business. Oh, he's got to be. With the shorts.

He's got to be. It's weird, too, because you're like, do I respect that he's super wealthy and he just rocks Kmart basketball gear? I like that, and at the same time, the person that's like fuck you like i almost i i like i mean i love adam sandler yeah adam sandler guy but that is one of the things that i can't help in the back of my brain when i see all the like the adulation he

gets but they're like 510 yeah okay i yeah all right i can see that but it feels like he made somebody write that doesn't a little bit yeah little bit? Yeah. I'll put it on my top ten. He has a writer's credit for that article. Yeah. It's on his IMDb. I don't know, though, because as I will say, I guess because I said I see both sides of that. But now as I'm getting older and I'm appreciating the level of clothes purchased from Target, that makes me look at Adam Sandler and be like, okay, man. All right.

That's what I say to him. That's what I just say to him. I want to put this out there now. That was a math one to indicate that I disagree. I know you own jeans from Target. Bro, look. Yeah, dude. Most of my wardrobe is from Target.

Also, you're wearing a non-branded LA hat. Dude, it's every... You ever been to LA? I just support anything LA. Dude, it's actually an LA's you ever been i just support anything la dude it's actually an la fitness hat okay lower abington it's an la fitness hat and it's for when i would go there and to the la fitness in woodbury heights and i got my fucking wallet stolen when i was 19 years old and i was like oh no what am i gonna do and then i remembered i only had 110 in my checking account and it didn't really matter.

I had a debit card in there and I had a picture of my high school girlfriend. Remember that? Trading school pictures? It wasn't a big thing. I think she might not have liked me much because I was like, can I get a picture? And she was like, ugh. That was a big thing back in the day when you got your class pictures and you would trade them and like i remember like still finding them like every time i move there's like some weird bin that's got like old high school shit and it's like the girl that was the valedictorian in my

class but back when we were in like eighth grade and like a paragraph in the back of it's like basically it was like a mini yearbook thing it'd be like never change is sorry this picture looks so bad anyway you got to make sure you give me yours maybe we'll talk throughout the summer bye like it was a mini yearbook thing on there and then sometimes you would get a girl chuck a number on there and you're like dude hags and then a number do i only have to keep this because one i'm gonna look at her when i when i call her on my corded phone in my basement this is pre-cell phone for me. So I'm like, yeah, I'm going to call up Ange on the old clickety click.

Dude, it's the summer of 2004. I'm trying to go knuckles deep on Ange. Was that still? Oh. Hey, now. Was still talking on the phone, was that still like a thing? No. Because you had aim, right?

No. Dude, talking on the phone was like, what are you, my grandfather? So I think I might be the last generation that no dude talking on the phone was like what are you my grandfather so i think i might be the last generation that had the talking on the phone you would talk to girls on the phone yeah like seventh and eighth grades instant messenger didn't come around until i was like a freshman in high school eighth grade freshman high schoolish yeah and uh yeah so you would like sit down in your basement you'd have her number you'd have to call you'd have to call and have a severe panic attack hoping that her dad or her mom didn't answer the phone yeah so like you knew like you'd be like i'll call you know around like 7 30 so you're like oh god please please sit by the phone please

be sitting by the phone and then you would have like a dude pick up like oh you're like oh wow you're unlocking some memories here dude oh so many memories yeah then you just sit there and you're like what are you doing she's like i don't know i'm just like hanging out oh no hanging out hanging out to the best it's like we should hang out but god no maybe not whatever anyway i got i got a baseball game tomorrow night that's i like that actually it was so simple it resonates a little bit with you like when so for those who don't know when john comes over to the podcast he'll call me when he's at my door like a fucking grandpa how else am i supposed to get in send a text message yeah but you might not you might not be looking at your phone. Here's how my generation works.

That's probably the only... They would rather not call me and wait at the door for three days and send a text than to not call. It's funny, too, because the only phone calls I make outside of work are my wife and I will call each other and pretty much the call to get into your apartment. Other than that, I'm never on my phone. That's fair. That's fair. I respect the call to get into your apartment other than that i'm never on my phone that's fair that's fair i respect the call though i want to say i respect the calls you're actually i never called girls i'd actually call guys and my friends these are not just like and i'd be so nervous that their dad's gonna answer these weren't like sexy young gentlemen that i was interested in well that was the worst is when i would call i would always call my buddy dylan

dylan jesus christ you're this is unlocking something i'm getting real sad here well yeah Well, that was the worst is when I would call. I would always call my buddy Dylan. Dylan. Jesus Christ. This is unlocking something for you. I'm just getting real sad here. Well, he had this big stupid stepdad. And when I was a kid, I didn't understand the concept of a stepdad. So I was like, he can't tell you what to do. Like he's not, you know, he wasn't. Little did you know, they can hit you just as much as a real dad.

Well, this guy, dude, he would walk. This has got to be weird he would walk around in the morning in boxers and a wife beater like he was like a cartoon boxers wife beater and like holding the carton of orange juice but what sucks is i'm hitting that point now like when you're home like do you just walk around boxers t-shirt right all the time like is that well you have a room i actually this is not gonna make any sense but it annoys me when people are like just shirtless around the house. So in my house in the summer, and this is purely out of like, I'm a dad now and I'm

like, I'm not turning the air conditioner on shirtless summer for most of the summer. Especially I work at home. I'll work at home shirtless and then I get on a call. I'm going to stop you real quick. What is the temperature you turn the AC on at? Like if it's outside. If, uh, it's weird my house 100 years old so like it'll hold heat uh-huh and it'll hold the cold so like it's we all have the heat on inside

now and you go outside it's not that cold yeah but you come inside and you're like shivering okay it's it's badly poorly insulated but fair uh it depends on the humidity too i'm gonna say right now it's 45 degrees outside and i have the ac pumping right now that's the life i lead baby keep it chilly i was the same way and i'll say it's this shitty like a little cliche thing but it's like when i became like a homeowner i i watched that thermometer with like damn that's so dad dude that's so dad oh don't touch this kid's a dad and guess what guess who doesn't understand how thermostat works yet me but i'm over there and i work from home

it's like i got the time yeah every like 10 minutes an excuse for me to go away from my desk i'm like oh what are we rocking the 66 right now just going to your blinds and picking up what the fuck's cars out front who is that that? Just all crazy dad shit. You know the rear window story? These kids are going to be out front riding their bikes the whole damn day. Yeah, I turned into an old black guy. You're right. No, I am that guy in my neighborhood.

But I also do really good deeds that go unnoticed because I'm the only one home during the day. St. John's. I chase trash cans on windy fridays all the time and i put them back and i just pray that like someday i'm gonna get a letter in the mail and it's like hey uh evil from two doors up passed and her will was released and she actually had a ring cam and she saw you all those days that you got her trash can and shoveled her walkway she actually left you two million dollars her will is gonna be like will this autistic guy stop chasing fucking trash cans around the street he's scaring the kids on the fucking block i do look autistic because i'm trying to do the math

like of which which can belongs to which house i'm looking in there and i'm looking at like oh there's a bottle cap. And all right. Well, Dave Three Doors Up doesn't drink anymore. So this can't be his. Oh, dude. You're a neighborhood guy, bro. I'm such a neighborhood guy and I'm hated by my direct next door neighbor, Rainy Day Tiff.

Yeah, but she's no good. Throwback to an early episode. But yeah, I do. I can't talk to that bro. I shoveled so many walkways that just go unnoticed. But in my head,'m like one day i'll get my due one day i'm gonna be in a back brace and look out the window and somebody's great and so it's gonna show one day this old woman's gonna come out front she's go hey john it never

went unnoticed my property and then the credits will roll then it'll say this this is done in memory of john montag you're gonna one day people are gonna tune into the podcast i'm asking like i'm sorry to let you know john caught a shotgun slug right to the chest john got lit up and and unfortunately legally he was trespassing yeah on that lady's property now he was returning her trash cans to the side of her house but she was within her god-given american right god-given american right to blow his head off his goddamn traps this actually is our final episode this is gonna before john gets murdered you're gonna hear yeah you're gonna hear one day john got mowed down by a fucking the ninth amazon prime truck that goes down the street because he was chasing a neighbor's windy trash

can everybody in the comedy he was like he's kind of fucking gay that he got killed for trashing can oh man see that's what worries me in my mind i'm like i'm like odds are i'm gonna go out pretty peacefully i don't think so i think there's a really good chance i go out just picking my nose on a street corner in the middle of a run and a car hops the curb that's what worries me is like i don't want to die but i also don't want to die doing the dumbest shit that's what it is i know i'm gonna die in a car accident i just need a good song to be playing oh what would your exit song love by keisha cole

i want it to be something weird so that when the EMT gets there, they're just like, dude, was he real? Did he die to Britney Spears' Toxic? Dude, he's got Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer on loop. It's July. In one of his nine Jeep Cherokees. Oh, wait. What's this? We looked at the playlist.

It's just that song and the Monster Mash back and forth. It's just – I don't know what it is it just says september 15th set at helium philly in your own set that's so bad so statistically that has to have happened because think of how many open micers there are across the country yeah and most people i i record a lot of my sets just audio record and a lot of times the drive home is i listen back to the set and i hate yourself and i hate myself or i'm like oh that was something new and funny and i'll try to work on that there has to be so many drunk because yeah open micers yeah that drew that died in a car

accident listening to their own set has Has to be. Has to be. I mean, I don't even know what the number would be. It's got to be a good number. I don't know if it's going to make me stop drinking or stop recording my sets. I say you drink harder and you record even harder. I record so hard. You're the hardest. I'm just holding the phone up to the mic the whole set.

Pink, blue, pink, blue. That's so amazing that someone definitely has passed on to the next world listening to the and you have to atone for that when you if there's a heaven and you get up there they're like they're like hey man you were doing all right but what was that at the end there god's like a comedy listen like vanity's a sin but like you i mean brutal that also do you think there's a porn star that ever went out whacking it to their own porn that's two porn stars like comedians like you watch your back i should not have done that that's a bad pump did you hear that third i'm gonna shoot uh yeah that was too much it's unbelievable it's not belie done that pump. That's a bad pump. Did you hear that third, I'm going to shoot?

Yeah, that was too much. It's not believable. Work on it. Work on it. You're better than that, Rex. I've got to get into my crowd work. I've been doing gang bangs lately. That's a bit, baby, but it's one of those bits you can only do at Open Mics for Comics.

Yeah, what is it? Because there are porn stars with podcasts. They've come on other comedians' podcasts and promoted their podcasts i've heard before yeah do they just talk about bonin on porn podcasts they sure do or you think they just get into recipes they're like listen i would love to tell you about that dvda but this bun cake i made last week dude that i love when people like that try to supersede their careers like it doesn't define me and it's like hey it defy like if a nazi started a podcast and he was like dude i love serious xm serious heil hitler no it's a compound media oh that's even better yeah that's even better oh that's fucking good wow there we

go we found a bit in there then there's something there oh boy i'm gonna start doing porn i would actually nah ladies and gentlemen you just heard it there matt first thought he was gonna have a career change of doing porn and then he just said nah i see people doing porn i'm like that was a good time not like not even like i don't think i don't think that story ever ends good yeah that life story i went to high school with a girl who did porn she came back and just life was not good yeah it can't be any good she had a kid yeah because you don't make unless you get huge i imagine you don't make much money so like you're not you just quit and then you're a bank teller and you're at like commerce bank and you're like

do you want a lollipop and i used to suck on weewees for a living there yeah and there's some guy there like just depositing his check on like a long friday he's like man this is a tough hey hey is it veronica sky's like, do me a favor. Can you go like this real quick? Aww. Yeah. That is you, huh? Or it's like she's just talking at one point, sneezes, and he's like, that's Sniffy Megan.

She used to do sneeze porn. He hears it and he's like, I know that anywhere. He's like, can you do me a favor? Can you call me a fucking pussy? I used to subscribe to your OnlyFans. I was on your only fans how you been big fan oh my god you look awful anyway i'm gonna need all that money and in individual bills and put in the bag before i have to shoot you i almost didn't recognize you without

your makeup running you look great how do you think oh there's had to a bit of bank robbery robbery where like the person in the middle of it just got like, wait, hold on. And for the listener, I'm pointing a fake gun at Matt right now. Wait, hold on. Rebecca? Fourth period math. Yeah, I sat behind you. Ah, damn it.

Yeah, it's me. It's Eric. It's Eric. Yeah, I'm just a porn star. What have you been up to? Yeah, I've been robbing banks. Robbing, yeah. Looks like we've both been shooting a lot of loads, huh?

How you doing? Things got really bad for a while. Then I was like, well, where's the money at? Yeah, well, you know, hey, look, what are you doing this weekend? She was like, I have eight STDs that you never even heard of. And he was like, me too. Cool, cool. And that's actually a beautiful, that is a rom-com that John and I are writing right now.

We're trying to get it developed. It's called The Bankthrobbers. that John and I are writing right now. We're trying to get it developed. It's called The Bankthrobbers. Oh, it's always called The Bankthrobbers. And ladies and gentlemen, that has been the episode.

Holy shit. We did a long time. Oh, we just landed the plane, man. The plane's landed. I'll tell you what, that plane took off and we were like, oh no, we have some geese in the engine. This is not going to fly.

Yeah. And then we did the flight move where Denzel flipped the plane upside down. It got a little weird. What fucking movie is that? Flight. I just said it. Oh. He brought it back.

He was an alcoholic in the movie. Okay. And then we landed that damn thing like Sully Landon on the Hudson. On the Hudsonuds ladies and gentlemen matt peoples where can we find you well you know you can find me at your local bank robbing a porn star i uh wow this is i can't believe we did that's fucking dude i had like stories we don't even need them guess what listener tune in next week maybe we'll forget to do we'll forget to do those stories again and they'll be in the wayside but right now i was

like yeah just cut out that first 12 minutes and put a story was it 12 minutes bad i don't know i don't know think as can be all right let me pull this bad bitch up i actually anytime i see other comedians like my friends post like their dates in like a nice little like you did it and then like gary sharp did it i do it almost it's like i almost try to do it comedically because everyone else has like 43 dates and i only ever have four yeah so in my head i think it's funny and then like oh no also i look super douchey i've never i've just thought it looks like you're posting that's why i just try to make it nice and silly well i mean i did think i honestly i think it is a like i saw you do it and then gary sharp did it and then i was like all right i should probably do it it's to appease all the people that i see like outside

of comedy that follow me that are like dude you gotta tell me when you're doing stand-up and i'm like hey i literally have a thing that you look at every day yeah it's called instagram you probably scroll right past it all the time yeah deep down we all just do it to be like, look how much I get booked. That's really why I do it if we're being... I don't think anybody's fucking coming to these things. But November 6th, I'll be at St. Mark's Comedy Club in New York City. That's a big bringer show. I'm bringing my family.

November 10th, we'll be at the Harrisburg. Your dad's bringing the calculator. He's gonna be like, yeah, Matt, I counted up the laughs. Do you want to see the total? You are bombing, bombing pal he just writes eight zero zero and holds it up boo i thought you were going boobs it boos way it makes more sense uh november 10th me and this fat sack of shit will be at the harrisburg comedy zone in harrisburg pennsylvania i'll be fucking doing some time right the prod fucking right. The prodigal

son is returning to the Capitol. He's back to give them what they deserve. For 15 minutes of forgetting my material. Is it fair to say that we are storming the Capitol that day? Yes. We are storming the Pennsylvania Capitol that day. That's actually...

All rights are reserved, but we are not actually storming it. Is it a joke? Is it a pun? I'll tell you right now, all right is reserved, and we are not actually storming it as a joke as in a pun anyway i'll tell you right now alt-right is reserved and we are knocking those fuckers on their ass biden did not win november 12th i was doing a roast at the old city tavern of christian manuel that's at 9 p.m in philly november 17th pub jokes is actually very fun pub jokes uh with keir williams and chance mcdonald they're running their first show there and they asked me to do it and I'm very excited. Good guys. Great guys. Hilarious guys. Hot guys. November

20th, I'll be at the Castle Rig Wine Shop again with old Johnny Matzabal over here. November 20th, I'll be right down the street and getting hammered on a Sunday at Devil's Creek Brewing in Collingswood. December 9th, I will be at Belfont Brewing Company in Wilmington, Delaware

with the homies Rob Stant and Jim Kelly and TBA. Not good guys. Bad guys. Terrible guys. Hot guys, but bad guys. And then TBA is the Handsome Idiots Showcase in the works, folks. Tell bitches a lot. That's what TBA stands for.

Oh, is that what it is? I don't know. I don't like it. I got this Thursday, the 4th of November, Loveable Monsters at Stickman Brews coming out. That'll be fun. I got, like Matt said, on the 10th, Comedy Zone in Harrisburg. On the 18th, I got The Laughing Fish with Jesse Dram at Flying Fish Brewery. Oh, I'll be there there that's a fun one that's a Thursday night one I think he usually has one Saturdays

this one's gonna be a Thursday that's a real fun show and then like you said Castlerig Wine Shop out in Carlisle Plentz, Slovenia should be a fun drive baby yeah bye peace Peace No fun, nobody, your f***er's kinda little bitter Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance

Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance No fun, nobody, your f***er's kinda little bitter Dance Dance

Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance Dance

Dance No fun, nobody, your f***er's kinda little bitter Dance