That Rules Podcast - Episode #40: Sad Boys Dating Noble Uggos. featuring: LeMaire Lee

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

LeMaire stopped by to hang with the Idiots… and the rest is pure Podcasting gold! Check out LeMaire on the Panties In The Mouth podcast.

🎵 Handsome Idiots episode 40 we know we told you last episode it was the last it was the final episode but we decided to

change that shit cause we got a guest, Matt. Oh, boy, do we ever. We got a guest. We got one-third of the Panties in the Mouth podcast. 100% of the best dude ever. And 23% black. Lamar Lee, thank you for coming on. Thank you guys for having me.

It's nice that the 23% of my blackness is my skin. What's the other? I can't do math. Well, it's at least 50% meatball. 30% gravy. I always think about that. When I die on the autopsy, what is it? The cause of death?

Yeah. I used to make the joke out in Central PA that Fasnacht will be a part of it. Who's Fasnacht? You're from Lancaster. You know what Fasnacht are? No. Well, I'm from Detroit. Oh, Detroit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Fasnacht was a rapper from Detroit. Oh. No, Fasnacht was like- He was in D12. It's right around now. It's like the leftover lard at the end of like lent they use it to make a really good pastry yeah okay that is like the best tasting pastry ever i've never even and it's just

leftover fat yeah it's leftover fat and dough and then everyone comes over that's what i want them to make out of my extra fat that'd the best. You don't get cremated when you die? Yeah. You're just gonna turn it into a delectable pastry? Yeah, dude. Turn me into Wagyu.

Wagyu's the stuff that's like $700 for a steak, right? Yeah, please. Isn't it like and they raise the the cow has like the greatest life.

Yeah, the cow's like pampered, it's massaged. Yeah. And they just fucking slaughtered yeah then they turn it's letter

into Michael Jackson clues guy US clues damn if you could have a Wagyu lifestyle that would be amazing that's the dream just knowing you're gonna die

at like 22 yeah you're gonna be fed those 22 years you're just gonna get your dick sucked like get massaged

and fed delicious meats farmer I'm really horny he's a breeder cow he's not a feeder he's a breeder I don't think I'm familiar with this Wagyu business Wagyu beef?

nah dude I eat very I eat very simple beets like Japanese Wagyu is like the one that is A5 dude yeah it's super expensive wow you eat a lot of our meats

I've never had it a little bit it's super marbly you can't when I say like they used to at Costco they had them and it was a four pack Yeah, it's super expensive. Wow, you used a lot of meat. I've never had it. A little bit. It's super marbly. You can't, when I say like they used to, at Costco they had them, and it was a four pack was $400 at Costco. Yeah. For four steaks. Wow.

I think I had like it at like a Korean barbecue, but it could have been also not. It was like kind of too cheap, I felt like. Because it was like real thin slices. Like this can't be whack. Waygo was spelled with two O's at the end. Yeah. Go. Yeah. Waygo. Waygo. Yeah. because it was like real thin slices like this can't be way good it was spelled with two O's at the end yeah way go it was pretty good

it was pretty nice I'm curious I always get this I've gotten in fights with my friends about this about meats but fights

are very strange this is what white guys argue about you don't have any problems you argue about cuts of meat Italians

and privileged people. I don't have any Italians in my friend group, and I'll never let them in. They're gross. They're savages. They're bad people. All that being said, my buddy's, like, real adamant about when he gets a steak that it's got to be, like, medium rare. Yeah.

Are you, like, real rare? It's gross, right? Yeah. Crazy rare is gross. It's very gross. But, like gross when you were a kid how did when your parents gave you steak or you got a steak and they decided for you what did they it was well done as well yeah that was my parents my dad would just fucking turn the grill on and leave it until you smelled char yeah and i for until i was like 22 i think yeah that's what i

thought you learned it was uncultured yeah to like a your meat cooked all the way yeah well then i worked at a chili's and i remember there was a dude that was just like he was so corny too and he was lame but he was like to the chef he's like let me get a steak and let it just kiss the grill and i was like what and then literally the guy just went like like hit a little bit of sear on each side and cut it and it was like just gushing blood so I was like well I don't want that that's what I like I like my meat like I like my

women dead and bloody the waiter's like sir can you please just order I'm really gonna get back to the rest of my table can you make sure the meat kisses the grill this is a diner please stop I really gotta get back to the rest of my table. Can you make sure the meat kisses the grill? Dude, this is a diner. Please stop.

That does sound like a murderer's catchphrase too. Kiss the grill? Yeah. He does that to everybody. He's like, kiss the grill. Kiss the grill is also a great Paul Wall album. Paul Wall, baby. Dude.

I just pulled a green bedazzle off my back. From a strip club? I don't know. That's a good question. Well, no, you went out Irish boozing. I did. I went Irish boozing yesterday. In the cold?

That was awful. I was with drunk 21-year-old kids, and I was like, hello, fellow kids. Wait, how old are you? I'm 25. Oh, yeah, you're growing out of it. It was my last, probably the last year I can do it where it stops. It starts looking sad. You got 27, dude. You look pretty young. You can get it. It was my last, probably the last year I can do it where it stops. It starts looking sad. You got 27, dude. You look pretty young.

You can get it. I thought 27 too. Yeah, 27 is like the age. Yeah, you just have to choke down the feeling in your head of knowing you're the old guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to be like, ugh. We're all so young and all the same age, right? I feel like that with you.

I feel like you make references to things. Because everything I make a reference to, because I'm 10 years older than you, I'm like, he you I feel like you make references to things because everything I make a reference to because I'm 10 years older than you I'm like he's not going to know this he's talking about

like popular bands like Madbox 20 right they're the best we're coming at MB20 that's oh

you're talking about the fucking blue oyster coat a lot of blue oyster coat but yeah what did you do in Philly we went out there it was freezing fucking blue oyster coat. A lot of blue oyster coat. But yeah, what did you do in Philly? We went out there. It was freezing. It was like sleeting. Ridiculous.

It's like the real phrase of the hoes don't get cold thing. It's true. These young ladies, God bless them and God bless America. It's like barely dressed, which is pretty cool. I didn't drink for two weeks. To prepare for this? Well, no. My kidneys And no, I didn't drink for two weeks. Yeah.

To prepare for this? Well, no. My kidneys are gay. So I had to take two weeks off. My kidneys are gay. I almost died. Oh, fuck. And then I just started drinking at like 12 o'clock in the afternoon. Drank until about 8.

And then the lights went off. Yeah. And then... Wait, you blacked out? Oh, I was dead. It was so bad. So... In Philly?

In Philly. What'd you do? I blacked out. I just... What In Philly. What'd you do? What's the accounts on the accounts? What's the accounts? Definitely drank beer. Yeah. For sure beer.

Yeah. Shots of those shots. Yeah. No, he just went with friends. Beer before liquor, never sicker, dude. I never thought about it. Do you believe in that? Yeah. Until I started mixing the other night.

Like, I'm experienced now. You always try to remember that when you're seven beers in and you can't remember the jingle of it or whatever you want to call it. Liquor is a beer unless you're near a beer. Liquor is a beer unless you're queer. Get queer, drink beer. All right, I'm in. The liquor, the h has never been thicker.

As you're trying to figure it out, you're just sipping. You guys want to see this cartwheel or not? Give me like four shots of J-Mo. I'm jumping. My body's going. I'm cartwheeling. Are you a shot in a beer guy? No.

What's that, Philly Special or Citywide? It depends. I've been going pretty hard lately, but I'm crushing vodka sodas real quick. I put down two Tito's and soda last night before we went out to a couple's dinner.

We were in Philly too, and it was like four or five couples walking down the street. Sounds like you're in a lifestyle, dude. You're at a lifestyle event dude. Oh, yeah. You're at a lifestyle event. I wish. No, I walked cold through the fucking Philly streets to some shitty Italian place.

You guys were near each other and didn't meet up? No. We don't hang out outside of this. That was crazy. It's a comedy, really. It'd be so funny for drunk Matt to show up to your couples thing. Like, woo! There was an empty chair. We could have.

One of the girls' husbands wasn't there. So you could have. Ooh, a hot wife. You could have put that. I would have fit in really great. Dude, you'd be a total hot wife bull. Well, it's very weird for John to be like, I'm going to go hang out with my 13-year-old friend.

Bye, wife and daughter. It's a tough sell. Well, no. And now that I have to, it's a tougher sell to be like and matt's single but like he's responsible she's like now you're hanging out with a 25 year old single guy like 25 year old dude giggling with each other it's like yeah it's that thing where it's ever like this is what everyone thinks like dude's weekend is and then this is what it really is it's like people sitting around playing video games, sipping beer.

You guys just playing Oculus. She's like, he's out there doing something terrible. I'm like, I call Max. Yeah, you guys are just beating people up in the metaverse. You took my vape. Just bullying metaverse people. Fucking dolphin bitch. No, not yet, dude.

I'm trying to get in there. I got to get an Oculus you're ahead of the game on a lot of things you had your clips on Pornhub before yeah that's

I will say listen if you wanna find the best shit ever go right now on Pornhub and type in LaMare Lee

I gotta post some more stuff on there you have a lot on there right no just a couple things I gotta post more it's 22 cause it's like it'll give those

and then it gives anything similar so like anybody named LaMare that did porn and then any Asian girl named Lee also comes up underneath it. I remember one video

that was like, I put one versus 100 temple students. So if there's like temple student porn, you'll find it there. You get real specific in your search.

Yeah. I'm a big Owls fan. Dude, porn can get very specific. You ever like In a time I searched Philly Thoughts Just to see like who's around me

You also just searched like Across streets Diamond and Broad Oh shit I didn't search that cross street specifically Cause that cross street has nothing related to you at all. They're very specific and they're very topical. Like there is Russia-Ukraine porn.

Really right now? I stumbled across it the other day. Which until now, I feel like they were the same porn. But now they're actually getting like diversified. Everything was Russian before. Now it's like you're going to see probably more specifics. Well, now it fits because, I mean, Russia-Ukraine porn is just the fucking, the ones where they pay the people.

You ever seen that? Where they go to a girl and he's like, I'll give you like 20 euros. Like fake agent, dude. Yeah. European bang boss. There's something. But it's all just like very thick Ukrainian dudes. Thick accents.

And they're thick. You know, I haven't checked out Fake Taxi in a while. I've got to get back in there. That's a fun one. That's a very fun one. Fake Taxi, yeah. It's always good when men trick women

I haven't watched a good trick lately dude she doesn't get tricked she gets a ride dude she gets a ride yeah she gets a ride

dude two rides it is crazy women will do a lot for a ride it's like ten dollars it's like taxi

you're in the same city she's like oh man I have to take this lift down the street can I suck your dick I guess I'll suck your weirdly enormous

penis yeah two block ride yeah dude it's the best it's incredible it's incredible it was

yeah we uh but yes I was in Philly yesterday fucking Center City was mobbed and I should have expected it but it's like the Aaron Express

no I don't do that are you a big drinker? I like to drink alone that was said in the exact tone that drinking alone discussion should be there's no optimism in it it was just pure statement

just to get through work just start tearing up do you alright so I think drinking alone and throwing on a solid YouTube compilation is probably one of the

five best things you can do yeah dude a nice nice MG Dean fucking you gotta pick something like super happy though

for me like if I put on anything that's like remotely not depressing but like touches me on a bad emotional level fucking a fel comp. You gotta pick something like super happy though. For me, like if I put on anything that's like remotely not depressing but like touches me on a bad emotional level, it's just gotta be silly. You ever watch those videos where they're like, you cheated on me

and this is why it hurt. You can't watch that while you're drunk. Those are the worst drunk videos. That's a weird compilation to end up on. Like she left me! Punching her TV and shit. Who also thinks to hit record when they're like, oh man, I feel

emotions coming up. Now, granted, I did just hit record to for us to just talk about a bunch of bullshit. Who's like, I'm gonna cry. Hold on. Wow, you guys are missing out on a whole spectrum of emotion. I'll get hammered. You cry into your phone a lot?

Dude. Soldiers Coming Home compilation. That's good feelings. That's like a good cry. That's happy. The soldiers seeing their pets for the first time. Oh, that's the best. The dog does a backflip.

It's also fun judging how good their reaction was. Sometimes I'll watch the soldier come home and the mom's just like, oh my god. And I'm like, bitch, fire it up. Yeah. Cry. You got to drop to your knees. I need something. You're not watching the good ones then.

You're not watching the ones where he comes home and she's pregnant and he's like, that's not my baby. I've been gone for 12 months. Yeah. I was like, who are you fucking? These are live leak videos. Yeah. Rest in peace, dude.

I would see. Yeah, nobody posts those. Yeah. The ones where it's like, soldier comes home to his dog and it's like so happy and joyous. But I also want to see a clip the next morning at 5 a.m. when that dog wakes that guy up. Yeah. It's got to go take a shit. It's just like, I'm about to go back to Iraq. Fuck this.

War was better than this. I got to sleep in over there. The soldier comes home the day after. The day after the soldier comes home. When she's like, oh, you're home. Do the fucking dishes. Get a job. They're not giving you your grant, dude. You can't go to school.

You know, I can go back, Diana. I can go back whenever I want. Good, and I'll keep fucking Bill. I like them to do like a soldier coming home video, but he's just like a reserve guy. He's only there on weekends. Comes back one and she's like, please stop doing this do a soldier coming home video, but he's just a reserve guy. He's only there on weekends. He comes back at 1 and he's just like, please stop doing this. I'm coming home. There's also going to be sad ones where not all soldiers have families to come home to, right?

I feel like there's some that just have to go home to a one-bedroom apartment and just do a pile of mail. Just dust. It ends with him crying watching a compilation. Yeah. Damn, dude. Damn. That's PTSD. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the real PTSD. Yeah. Yeah, dude. That's another good one, too. Like, soldiers coming home, but the PTSD already kicks in. And, like, someone fires off, like, a confetti cannon. And he's just choking out his niece. They were kids niece they were kids

they were kids we didn't want to do it he just maces his dog as soon as he walks in because he starts barking

are you still in the age range if they institute a draft are you going over yeah dude you're still in

there right I'd probably say no if they asked what would be your lie to get out of you can You can't say, you'd have to go to Canada. I'd go to Canada. You can't do jury duty lies? Like...

Nah, I support Russia. That's how you get out of it. I would, dude. You've shown your porn search history and it's all Russian. You want a guy like us defending you? Yeah, like, Check my history. I like Gorbush.

He looked up Ebony Russian. I don't think that exists. Sounds like somebody's name, Ebony Russian. I will say that if the United States ever went to war with a country and we started losing, I'll switch sides in a heartbeat. I don't know if that's it. I will. The second the times are turning

I'm out you already got a suitcase with a flag it's a flag sticker to put on America's cool don't get me wrong the place is pretty sick but you did stock up on whoever we may go to war with I can adjust

Russia, China, Saudi it's like a reversible jersey one's Japan I guess Japan's going to be on our side Japan's fucking ready to go You got Russia, China, Saudi. It's like a reversible jersey. One's Japan. I guess Japan's going to be on our side now. Japan's fucking ready to go, dude. They're cool with us now? Japan's cool as hell, dude. I'm telling you, I'll hop in that pickup truck that's got a fucking machine gun in the back in the quickest fashion.

Japan made a Gundam, like a walking Gundam, like a giant mech. And I hope they have an army of those, like secretly. That would be badass. And now, especially now because we're cool with them. Yeah, like they're about to unleash the mechs on Russia Pacific Rim 2 dude it'd be badass

it's like a transforming robot just coming through you're like we're fucked we're fucked we've spent all this money on technology and they just built yeah stupid stupid just built... Are they using tanks? Yeah. Yeah. Stupid!

Stupid! Our drones need feet. I'd love to see a Russian mech. Yeah, dude. Just like, runs on vodka. That's that dumb hat. It's a big metal one. Yeah.

It's slightly drunk all the time. Yeah. Dosvidanias. They came out today and said Putin's juicing they said that his face is puffy

because he's on steroids yeah it's a real thing he's going crazy dude yeah you're at that level if I was a politician I would be so roided up yeah you have to

you absolutely have to imagine that you run like not jacked but then once you get in you get jacked you just intimidate the shit out of everyone. The Bezos.

Yeah, we said that with Jeffy Bezos. The Bezos. Yeah, you Bezos it. Yeah. You wear weird 70s shirts. He was like a dorky fat nerd. Yeah. And then his wife divorced him.

He's like, I'm about to get hot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He watched Batman Begins once and he was like, this is gonna be me. I need to finish up this thing everyone's been talking about. I need to go to a cave. He calls himself Jeffy B he's like Jeffy B needs to get beefed

he thinks people will judge him if he doesn't what kind of beer does Jeff Bezos drink oh god it's gotta be like a Peroni this just feels like a Peroni guy he has a refined palate he's like I need a Peroni I bet he's not

drinking beer because I bet he's got a personal trainer that monitors his every move. Yeah. And the personal trainer is like, look,

you're hot, rich, and single now. You can't be sipping these nickel obes. Imagine being the personal trainer that's got to tell

a billionaire, you've got to focus. You're embarrassing yourself. I had this fruit beer from Japan called Hokkaido once it was fucking crazy fruit beer?

yeah what kind of fruit was it? it was like a melon oh I like that yeah it was a melon it was good as hell it was like a seltzer or just like a legit beer?

no it was like a beer kind of like that hell or high watermelon beer? I've never had it you ever had that? no hell or high watermelon it's like a hefeweizen

it didn't even taste like it didn't even like have like a hoppy taste or anything it just tasted like melon juice alcoholic melon the japanese know what they're doing when it comes to like candy alcohols like yeah well they like they talk about their cities like their cities are the most developed because they've been around they're like one of the oldest civilizations so they just like perfected shit that you don't even think of yeah they're gonna have like tarmacs for sidewalks, which would be sick.

That'd be cool. Suggestion. If the Japanese government is listening to this podcast. Tarmac sidewalk sounds like an indie band from Japan. I'm going to that tarmac sidewalk show. You want to come? That sounds badass. Who's opening for them?

It's some kind of almost anime sounding thing. It's like Hiroshi Girls. I don't know. Yeah. Walking mechs. The Hiroshi. Or Unle I don't know. Yeah. Walking mechs. Yeah. Or unleash the mechs. Return the mechs.

Yeah. One second. There's this road. I looked this up like a couple years ago. There's this road. It's a technology they made where it can also like

it runs off the rainwater into the side and then it like traps it and also like throw it runs off the rainwater into the side and then it like traps it and it like puts it back into the system so it can like be reusable and then the roads would also be able to like heat them up so like snow and shit wouldn't get on it like it was electronic and i don't know whatever happened to that it's just like that's the future we need those there's so much we just need to like i'm i'm big on trains now I didn't realize how shitty the United States how'd you get single dude when that happened I remember we roasted and you had a lady dude yeah yeah it's sweet sweet gorgeous and now we broke up like

a month ago yeah about a month ago it's fresh it's fresh sorry dude it's fresh I just love how funny this video is gonna look it's pretty much just us cuddling

in the corner we're so close six feet away yeah several unopened doors you guys are just hiding from the black guy you do have your feet

ready to kick at any moment I don't know he's got on he might lunge I don't know ah no I'm lunging in for kisses dude You do have your feet ready to kick at any moment. He might lunge. I don't know. I'm lunging in for kisses, dude. Somebody did a kiss lunge.

If anybody tried to fight me ever, I've never been in a fight, but I think I would try to kiss if somebody tried to fight me. If they get close, I'm smooching. That's 100%. It's like crazy. It's crazy enough well it's great too because like even if that guy kicks your ass

when he tells the story back he's gotta be like yeah so I had this one guy and I'm just like punching him right in the face and I pull back and he kissed me and his friend's gonna be like

wait what let's breeze over that if I'm fighting a guy he's gonna win but I'm playing I'm playing the long game because I want he's gonna also come

I want him to come. He's going to have to come. He's going to see me in the streets and I'm going to be like, you won but at what cost? But I just want him – if I ever get in a fight, this is what I want to do. It's the long game because I want him to – he's going to win. But then I want him to go home and when he tells his girlfriend, I want his girlfriend girlfriend to be like you need to get your anger issues under control and then develop a fight yeah riff starts the relationship then they break up kind of describing my breakup no i'm kidding it's not true my ex fine yeah your guys are both on the yeah dude yeah dude i just made a uh dating app

stuff and i'm already ready to delete it i hate it which one are you on tinder and nuka cupid yeah but i hate it how is that it's lame yeah yeah i'm done i don't like the it makes me feel like yeah it's i i had hinge before yeah it was a fun one yeah because they give dumb prompts hinge has great commercials too Hinge does have good commercials Their marketing is It's the only app You're ever Going to want to delete Whatever it is

Yeah I rather butchered Whatever that is That's just fine dude But it was I remember hearing it And I was like That is good

Yeah dude You're doing a free ad They can do this man This podcast is brought to you By Hinge Yeah I don't know I like it

Because they have the prompts On there It's pretty brutal To watch people Try and be interesting yeah it's so hard what do you mean prompts

so it'll be like wildest night you've ever had and girls will just be like you don't even want to know and like that's their answer they'll give you a question

and you feel it out but they say you don't even want to know yes I do want to know tell me you whore one was literally like if you're going on a burrito picnic Yes, I do want to know. Tell me, you whore.

One was literally like, if you're going on a burrito picnic, what ingredients are you bringing? Dude, avocado. A burrito picnic. Dude, a burrito picnic? You got to get some shredded chicken in there, some rice, some fucking corn, some tortillas. Dude, you need tortillas. It's not burritos. God damn it. You got to go on a burrito date.

I feel like everyone's gonna have the same answer Nobody's gonna be like Tootsie Pops, carrots You can't bring sour cream Because sour cream makes you toot If you're building a burrito You gotta think about what that burrito's gonna be Doing later on

So you gotta go light Light burrito That's gotta be The worst first date food A burrito? Just like when you're like Sopping halfway through And it's starting to like Leak onto your fingers

And you're like So what do you do for a living? And fuck it I can't At a picnic You're in nature I just realized too You're single for the first time

In like three years So like you're going on dates And I've also seen you Try to use chopsticks So you can never take a girl On a sushi date And look cool Yeah dude Sushi's pretty popular Isn't it? That's also kind of embarrassing Though right? The year I was 26 You to use chopsticks so you can never take a girl on a sushi date and look cool.

Sushi's pretty popular isn't it? That's also kind of embarrassing though right? The year I was 26 you only use chopsticks. I'm 25. What kind of what kind of dates have you been going on? I've been going on any dates. I don't think I can do dates. Dude not yet not yet not yet you're right dude no no no no that's just fine it just is fresh it's fresh. I just started because I just felt like I finally felt okay like to start trying to date and stuff. Yeah I think yeah I just started because I just felt like I finally felt okay to start trying to date and stuff. Yeah. I think just the idea of going on a date. Like my ex-girlfriend, I don't think we didn't meet on a date. Yeah.

But I just like talk it. I can't pretend to be interested. And it's not even like a chauvinist thing. Yeah. Like, oh, girl, I just can't. I just don't care. No, it's not like pretending to be interested. It's like you're just like, I don't care no it's not like it's not pretending to be interesting it's like

it's like you're just like I don't know it's about the company sometimes yeah I would be cool to like yeah I guess the newness of it would be kind of

or you could just play a prostitute I would also do that yeah just a hundred dollars you come you can talk if you want it seems like you don't have the urge to learn

something new about a person I've had the same four friends since I was like twelve years old. That's weird. We're all equally autistic. You should start fucking them. I get so jealous of gay guys.

You guys can just like plow and then just hang 10. I told you I hung out last night with a well-to-do gay couple that are friends of ours. And you're just looking. I'm looking at their beautiful row home in Philly. And I'm like, you guys kind of have it really made. Just try it. They got a cool dog. Maybe I'll just swing over to the other side.

Make a grinder, try it. A hole's a hole, dude, as my brother would say. Actually, make that your tagline. Mad people's a hole's a hole. A hole's a hole, ladies. And gents. Maybe. I don't know.

I don't think I could do it. Dude whores. You guys should go on double dates together. Let's do it. Yeah, please dude. You'd have to pay though. You know, because of reparations.

And I'm broke. And who's false to head? No dude, yeah. We should totally go on a double date. It'd be awesome. Let's go. Where would we go?

We would go to... We'd probably be kind of shoot. In Jersey? I bet you guys buckle in and get in burritos and you're both just tooting on your dates. At some point, one of us would tickle the other person. Dude, we gotta go to a movie.

A movie is easy. See, I feel like that's a hard one. A movie? Because you don't know when to pepper in the conversation, I feel like. You don't. Dude, we gotta go to a movie. A movie is easy. A movie, see, I feel like that's a hard one. A movie? Because you don't know when to pepper in the conversation, I feel like. You shouldn't. We shouldn't, yeah. And then if it's a bad movie, you can just leave. Okay.

Her, there. And then you guys can just talk about how bad that movie was. Which is, okay, good conversation. Have you ever left a movie? Yeah, I went to see this movie at the Ritz. It was about the friendship between Tennessee Williams and Truman Capote. That's a wait until it comes out on streaming. It was a date.

It was a date, yeah. And I thought it was going to be a movie about them as people. Like them two as people. Yeah, I would love to go see see to hear them talk to each other yeah like the Capote voice yeah and

yeah that's what it was but it was like what they were writing to each other and it was basically about how they were basically like

secret lovers or some pen pals yeah they were just boys just hanging out they said that? That's what, yeah, dude. The whole movie was like.

You heard Truman Capote? Uh-uh. Oh, he's got the worst voice in the whole time. I don't know who these people are. It's literally. They're like, not literaturists.

They're like authors. But like whatever. Bookmakers. Yeah. Whatever the high class version of author is. Yeah. Like the fucking,

they're like the one that like, they're like, we do new books about life and existentialism. Yeah, probably. He's a bridge. They're like Walt Whitman level guys. Okay. Walt Whitman was a poet, though, right? He did not, I don't think, Capote might have been a poet. I don't think they're poets.

They might be poets. They're like articleists. Yeah, three straight guys talk about Truman Capote. No one saw this coming. articleists. Yeah, three straight guys talk about Truman Capote. No, but it's all just comedy. Really, I realize the only reference I know to Truman Capote's voice is Philip Seymour Hoffman's version of it. And he really

leaned in. There's videos of him on YouTube. In the movie, they had an interview of him and he was like, I almost want to pause it and play you his voice so we can just discuss. It's literally the whiniest, weirdest. It's like if you were a whiny baby voice. Yeah.

Do you know Modok? An adult. Who is it? Modok from Marvel. Like the bad guy. He's just a big head in a seat. Okay. That's what Truman Capote looks like.

He looks like a big head in a chair. Why do these guys get a film about them though? Are they like they were interesting otherwise? Because they wrote cute letters to each other. Yeah, they wrote, yeah, they're like, this is like artist people who like these guys. This is like a very like, they're like high class dudes. Oh, so when you took the girl, it was kind of like a cool like, hey, I'm going to look for her.

Yeah, she was telling me about stuff she likes, and I was like, oh, okay, let's go to a movie about. If you were you and I knew you were me. Right, I mean, like, are she films that you read? I was like, what do you think about Tennessee Williams? She's like, I love Tennessee Williams. I was like, what do you think about Truman Capote? She's like, did you know they were friends?

I was like, that's what this movie's about. And then 12 minutes in, you're like, yo, we should get the fuck out of here. It was like 20 minutes, and we were like, this movie's bad. What'd you do after? I think we went to get ice cream. Nice. Damn, that's a nice date. Yeah.

You're good at dates. That's my thing, I think. I think you've got to go super wholesome now as like a first date. Now, it depends. If you're trying to find, you know, the one. I think if you go in, you just lean in now especially and be like, we should get ice cream and just talk. Yeah.

And then keep it like a one-hour date. It's like a taste test. A one-hour date. Dude, all my dates. I think the one-hour date might be the perfect thing for a first date. All my first dates are like, I don't know. I'm not like, if it's a first date, that means they're already kind of interested in me. Yeah.

So they always end up being longer than they... The last couple, they always end up being longer than they're supposed to be. And I'm like, how long do you want me to interest you for? I'm going to run out of stuff very quickly. See, that's what I'm saying. So I think you guys need to make the push now as single men in the scene for the one-hour first date. One hour? It's almost like speed dating

extended. And you put the cap on. You said it beforehand too. You're like, look, I would love to hang out with you longer. I think we should just go out for an hour. And then that way, if you're crushing it, she gets like, this is salesman in me. She starts building up that like, oh, I want to see you, man. This is really getting somewhere. And then you're like, time!

I like that. I like that. I walk out mid-sentence. I think it's a good wholesome approach then second date it's three hours and you fuck real life next

next they're gonna bring back next post-covid next dude that time period of MTV that was when I was

a young sweet lad fucking next Room Raiders and what was the other big one Silent Library Silent Library Silent Library yeah that was at the big one? Silent Library. Silent Library. Silent Library, yeah, that was at the tail end of it.

That always, Silent Library, that was kind of annoying. Eliminate was another one. That wasn't MTV. It wasn't MTV, it was that era. Eliminate. What was, Blind Date? Blind Date. Yeah.

There was another show. The original MTV one was the one that. It was the one with the parents. Oh. Next, Room Raiders, and the one with the parents. Isn next roommate is in the one with the parents just like date my parents date my mom yeah my mom i i grew up with a guy they filmed an episode of that a block over from where i grew up oh shit yeah and they had to throw god was it is it date my what was it called i don't think it might be date my parents but it was a show where like the parents were like I don't like him yeah

like ah I completely forgot about that show that was a huge one so my buddy that was on it yeah that I grew up with

he they the whole thing is so staged yeah because I mean because production wise to the point where you could tell

they threw a party everyone was like 20 that was in it and they MTV threw a house party at his house and it was kegs of non-alcoholic beer and he didn't tell anyone so people came it was kegs of non-alcoholic beer.

And he didn't tell anyone. So people came, and they were all drinking non-alcoholic beer. And they were pissed? No, and I don't think they knew. Oh, and they started getting drunk? I think it was a placebo thing. And then when he came back from the date, I think it like, whatever the story was, it was like they found out later. The cameras, the beer.

I always want to pull that trick on somebody. It's not even a trick, though, because if I went, I am incredibly dumb, but if I went to a party and they had a keg of fake beer, I know I would feel drunk. Yeah. My brain would be like, we're drunk now. And I'm like, okay, sounds good. Actually, this is the part where we tell you, those Michelob Ultras you're sipping? No, no.

Yeah, dude, we fooled you. Dude, Michelob, you ever had the Michelob. Parental control. Parental control. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. You have the Michelob, you ever had the Michelob... Parental Control. Parental Control, that's it, yeah. You have the Michelob Seltzers? I didn't like them. They get too crazy with the flavors. There was one that was like 9%.

Oh, no, that's Michelob Platinum, I think, right? Platinum's, yeah, dude. It's 9%, dude. Oh, my God. Those will put you in your ass. He had the fucking White Claw. The 8% one. The 8% one, the Surge.

Yeah. You can first sip. You're like, that's not going to be any different. You're like, oh, yeah, that's 8%. And then you can first sip. You're like, that's not going to be any different. You're like, oh yeah, that's 8%. And then you start seeing spots. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. It does taste like battery acid. But you get halfway through and you're like, damn, grapefruit battery acid is not good. My bus opened this battery.

I'm not mad at it whatsoever. We did it, I had a couple before. We did this like, around the corner from here there was like a porch show. They did this thing called Porch Fest in Collingswood.

Yeah, yeah. And it's literally, you just went on this guy's front porch and then, it's mostly bands. We were the only comedy show. Yeah.

We were the only comedy people. Yeah. Yeah. And people kind of like, it was a decent turnout. Yeah. They were just going on this guy's lawn. And it's always funny,

like in stand-up, when they're like PG-13. Yeah. Which means totally different things. Yeah. It's during the day too. You get one fuck in PG-13. One fuck. Yeah. But this guy was like, he was watching the things. Yeah, it's during the day, too. You get one fuck in PG-13. One fuck.

But this guy was like, he was watching the shit. Also, you should say, we were using the porch of someone who's not a comic or a musician. He just let... Just some dude. It's Rob Cody who's been on here before. His neighbor had a perfect porch for him. He said, you guys can do it here. Yeah.

And then, like, I don't think he... He thought it was gonna be like if you invited two acoustic bands to come play yeah as soon as we got there we're like pounding beers we're like yeah just making fun of everybody around there just being vulgar as hell yeah i walked in and i saw that his wife had short bangs and i was like this is not gonna go how we wanted to go as like immediately somebody said shit and he was like, what are you doing? Sorry, man, we're horsing around, dude.

At the end of your set, didn't she yell from inside the house? No, one of the guys Oh, was there in Midway for my set? She yelled from the house. Yeah, he said something like da-da-da shit

and she goes, watch your mouth and walked by him and said it. I was like, alright, kind of hot. I'm not going to lie to you. A little sexy of you.

But the guy yelled at me during mine. He's like, enough. I was like alright kinda hot a little sexy of you but the guy yelled at me during mine he's like enough I was like okay and it wasn't even like everyone that was on it isn't like

super vulgar super dark like at all so it was interesting it was fun though but it was weird we were saying

we need to do it again and do it as at the end of the day and make it a backyard thing yeah so I might I might actually next year host it at my house. When is it? It's in September every year.

I want to do it. Yeah, dude. I want to do it. That'd be fun. I think if we do it in the backyard and we limit it, even if it was just like friends from my street, I think it'd be a good show. Actually, shit, you're still supposed to sumo wrestle in my backyard against Pat George. Wait, did you do a mic at your house once before? No, I thought about doing one. Oh, you're still supposed to sumo wrestle in my backyard against Pat George. Wait, did you do a mic at your house once before?

No, I wasn't. No, I thought about doing one. Oh, you're talking about the guy Mike something? Yeah. Yeah, he used to do it. Let's all forget his name together. Mike. Yeah, it was Mike.

Yeah, but you're supposed to sumo wrestle in my backyard. I forgot about this. It's against Pat George against Baby Mermaid himself what is this about this is all off of Pat's podcast

yeah uh gross domesticated podcast yeah they were talking about like sumo wrestling each other and I called in

I was like I think I just moved into my house and I was like we can have it in my backyard and then everyone else ran with it

and I was like oh fuck I might actually have to backyard. And then everyone else ran with it. And I was like, oh, fuck. I might actually have to host a section. Wasn't it the COVID year, too? Butterly was set to ref it, right? He had to go on a vacation now. He went on vacation. Yeah. It was going to be epic.

It was going to be awesome. Mae was going to be pregnant throwing rice. It was also before I got my fence fixed. Remember I told you my fence was going to fall over? And I was like, guys, you can't. And the only picture was him and Pat going through my fence into my racist neighbor's yard. And she's out there rooting for Pat. She's like, get him!

Dude, she wouldn't even know what to do. A black? What? Japanese? Why are they in diapers? There's no way that lady's not flicking her bean watching that. Hatefully flicking bean, dude. We can get it back on now.

I got new fence posts. We're good to go. I reinforced the fence. Me and Pat were talking about it a little bit ago. I was on GDP a bit ago, and I was like, dude, we got to sumo wrestle for real. Because I was supposed to box Naeem, and I was like, I don't want to jiu-jitsu Pat. That's what it was. It was during your run of you wrestled Naeem, right?

I was jiu-jitsuing. Yeah. Other comedians. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Naeem, I feel like, is probably pretty good at boxing. Yeah.

And I'm supposed to box him. I don't know what it is about. I was supposed to box him. He's a 14-2 boxer. Yeah, that's a good one to let fizzle out. Yeah. You're going to get CT. No, it's going to happen.

It has to happen now. I feel like people, it's been brought up too much. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to happen. It has to happen now. I feel like people, it's been brought up too much. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to happen before the end of the year, I bet. Is there going to be a whole undercard of comics? Maybe. Maybe. That'd be awesome.

Dude, we've got to get it at Skanks Fest. Is it Skanks Fest? That would be sick. That'd be incredible. Yeah, but we promised it. Now I have to go get my ass beat. I think anybody would watch that. That'd be incredible.

I love your level of commitment to content. That you're like, I'll fight a 14-2 boxer. Yeah, I'd get him with at least one or two good hits, I think. Yeah, what would your strategy be? Naeem's not going to listen to this. What's your strategy? My strategy? I wouldn't really have a strategy.

Because I don't think he would know what... I don't know if he knows what I can take you know what I mean? Do you know what you can take punch wise? A little bit. Have you been punching the face a lot in your life? A little bit.

I only asked because we discussed it before. I'm only three in fights and Matt's never been in a fight but he's had multiple women punch him in the face. I have had multiple women punch me in the face. I don't know my fight. I used to fight a lot in grade school. But then, yeah.

I lost a fight to a girl. Let's go. Were you guys fighting in the same class? Yeah. It was after class. She was fighting me. I don't even remember why I meant weight class oh no

no no she was hitting me and it was like a circle where her brothers were like behind the circle circle fights were the best

yeah well not this one because it sucked clearly like you can't hit a girl and then if I hit her I'm gonna get jumped yes and then like

it's a lose lose so she's beating my ass but it doesn't like I'm like ah stop I don't wanna I'm going to get jumped. Yes. And then, like, it's a lose-lose. So she's beating my ass. But it doesn't, like, I'm like, ah, stop. I don't want to do this anymore. And then my mom saved me, too. See, you should have tried to kiss her. What does your mom do? She jumped out the car and was like, y'all want to fight?

Come back here on Monday. We'll fight. She's cutting promos. My mom cut a meme promo. That's the Dana White of fucking high school fights. Mean G-Nerderson pops out of nowhere. This was elementary school. I'm in fifth grade.

This is in fifth grade. My mom's like, come back on Monday. I have everybody y'all fucking fight. And then we left. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. My God, that's Lamar and Mom's music. Wanda Lee. Wanda Lee. Wanda Lee.

Wanda Lee is a great wrestler. Holy shit. The wonderful Wanda Lee. You kidding me? She crushed it. Damn. And then I never went back. I transferred schools that weekend, I think.

Oh, yeah. The schools are totally cool. They're like, and Reason lost a fight. Oh, yeah. The schools are totally cool. And Reason lost the fight. Oh, yeah, man. We'll see. How did he lose the fight? To a girl? We just got a couple follow-up questions. She wasn't shorter than you and also tiny, was she?

We were the same height. She was a little bit... She grabbed my head. She grabbed my shirt and then was like, you know how girls... She was girl punches on them. They're not closed fists but they're not open. Yeah, they're just like the loose fists.

I was just like, ah. But in fifth grade, is any part of you horny while that's happening? Yeah, is that your thing? Personally, I'd be like, oh, this is not bad. In fifth grade, I was like, why? How did this get here? Can you imagine?

That's the start of a show. My mom busting out of the car and me like this, getting beat up by a girl. How did I get here? What happened? This is your fresh place. She's twirling you around on a basketball court. Malcolm in the middle. Just a commentary.

Yeah, I don't know. Record scratch. Yeah. Let's see how I ended up. That does suck, though. Because like you said, it's dandive you do, dandive you don't. If you beat her up, you're a piece of shit. If you get beat up, you're a pussy.

And then I get jumped by her brothers if I beat her up, too. True. Yeah. Damn. You've got to pick a fight with somebody in the crowd. Otherwise. Yeah. You've got to be like, you're looking at a funny towel.

You! Yeah, that's a tag team match. It's a mixed tag. You just go and kick your ass. You accidentally point at another girl. Oh, fuck! You just become Andy Kaufman. Wrestling women.

Dude, I don't know if this girl is alive to remember this. If she is, we'll get her on the next episode. I don't even know. She's some Detroit, Michigan lady. Well, God rest her soul. Alright, I'll start there on the search. Detroit, Michigan, beat up. Put a point up first. Detroit

thoughts. Oh my God. So when did you move from Detroit to here? 2003. Oh wow. So you lived there for how long? Most of my life.

13 when I moved. Your formidable years of there. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then you moved to Lancaster. Yeah. Like outside of Lancaster.

Like even more fucking Amish. Oh really? Yeah. Some deep, deep country. Yeah. Damn. I would love to just drive by a farm and you fucking Amish oh really yeah so deep deep damn I would love to just drive by a farm

and you're Amish my grandpa he was a he was a they call him Pennsylvania Dutch yeah he was one of them

really yeah do you hate the Amish I feel like everyone that lived in Lancaster for a little bit that wasn't Amish hate them

no cause I don't really I didn't really drive or anything and I didn't really interact with Amish people. My brother hates them. I'm going off of Charles Bain

on just every day post fuck the Amish. If you have to work around them, for sure. Okay. Yeah, my brother was a beer distributor in Amish country

and they would fucking get drunk and shit. Excuse me. Oh, they're mean? Are they mean? Some of them. Yeah, they're terrible. Some of them are assholes, dude.

I didn't realize that's what Charles Mayer was saying. You never saw the Breaking Amish show on TLC? Is that where they all left? They went on Rumspringa? Yeah. Rumspringa's nuts. Amish Mafia. Wait, did you know the Smoking Doinks and Amish guy?

No, I don't know. What was his name? Big Doinks and Amish? I don't know. Yeah, it was like King something. Big Doinks. I would have, dude. Smoking Big Doinks and Amish. I would have smoked with him before he died, dude.. Yeah, it was like King something. Oh. Big Doink. I would have, dude. Smoking Big Doink's in Amish.

I would have smoked with him before he died, dude. He died. That was like, yeah, it was like an early vine clip, right? Yeah. And it was a guy standing next to a cornfield and he's just smoking. He's a big fat dude smoking a blunt and he's like ripping, smoking Big Doink's in Amish. And that was it. It's because he defried a blunt. I think that's

why he died. He defried a blunt? Yeah, thinking he tried to smoke it or something. This might be a myth. It might be one defried a blunt. I think that's why he died. He defried a blunt? Yeah, I think he tried to smoke it or something. This might be a myth. It might be one of those YouTube myths. Is that on the Wildwood Boardwalk? You get a defried blunt? It's actually at the town fair. It's at the farm festival.

A defried blunt would be a good snack. Not like a name for a good snack. Yeah. Like you put a churro with some green shit. Oh, make it fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make it nice. Make it an edible. You could put an edible in good snack. Yeah. Like you put a churro with some green shit. Oh, make it fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make it nice. Make it an edible.

You could put an edible in deep fried. Yeah. Young King Dave was his name. Young King Dave. R.I.P. Yeah, God rest his soul.

He's a very hefty fellow. You just gotta see him. Let's see him. Out here in Amish smoking big doinks in Amish. Whoa. This guy died early? What?

Wow He looks like the Hawaiian guy that used to play the ukulele And sing to us all He fatted his face Into a Hawaiian face Remember that Shallow Howl Where everybody Was just fat?

That's a crazy movie premise. It was weird because nobody was ugly. They were just fat. They were just pretty fat women. And the audience had to watch and discuss as if Jack Black doesn't deserve a fat woman. People looked at Jack Black and they're like, him with her?

Ugh. The hilarious part too is, were, who's the woman that's in it? It's not Elizabeth Banks. No, it's one of them. But whoever it is, it's like, at some point in casting they were like, Is it Gwyneth Paltrow? Yes, it's Gwyneth Paltrow. They were like, should we also just like hire

a fat actress to play the fat version? They were like, no, we'd rather spend thousands in makeup and CGI to just make her fat. That's so awful. Let's make this beautiful woman a monster. Yeah. And then in the end, like, goddammit, she's still beautiful. They couldn't make her ugly.

They tried so hard. Yeah, that would never get passed today. You have to try to be an ugly woman. Like, to be an ugly woman, you have to try. That's a very good point. If you're an ugly woman, it's almost noble. Look at her. She's trying.

She must not have TikTok tutorials and not even makeup. Ugly women are noble. Wow. I've never respected someone so much. It is true. ugly women are noble dude wow I've never respected someone so much it is true

because it's like you see now like the videos where it's like the it's not the before and after they hit you

with the after and then they hit you with the before of like makeup tutorial or whatever where they're like

you're like oh beautiful woman and then it's like well guess what she really looks like that's not even a human yeah dude instagram fucking instagram is the greatest thing a man has ever invented

it's the greatest thing a man has ever invented to trick women in a beauty yeah you know every filter that is that like uh this is not my face yeah it was invented by just some dude that was like yeah i want uggies to just look good on the web. Yeah. That is insane. Dude, what we're really saying is something honestly really beautiful. It's honestly really beautiful, dude. It's coming from a place of literal concern. You guys are blowing this up on first dates.

Yeah. You're like, the man who created Instagram, he's a genius. I just get to look at my phone and see girls work on their butts. I love the progress. I'm a feminist.

What do I say? It's just the most incel thing of all time. To be like, ugly bitches picked it. They wanted this. They sought this out. It's not incel-y, dude. It's very fucking pro-woman. We're right.

No. This is a pro-y, dude. It's very fucking pro-woman. We're right. No. This is exactly right, dude. This is a pro-Hillary podcast. Hillary, wherever you are, thanks for everything. God rest your soul. R.I.P., dude. They're banning Instagram in Russia tomorrow.

Did you see that? Yeah, no. They put it out there and it's like, everyone's like, going insane. Your boom's gonna be pissed, dude. Yeah. He's like, where am going insane. Your boom's going to be pissed, dude. Yeah.

He's like, where am I going to look at butts now? Yeah. When I was in college, I met a girl that was from one of those like Eastern European countries. I don't know that it was exactly Russia. Yeah. We were like talking about stuff while growing up. Like we hung out a lot of weekends. Yeah.

So we actually got to know her a little bit. And we were like talking about growing up. And it must have been russia she was talking about like all the shit that they weren't allowed to do and it was like there's no internet was very like specific about what you can and can't see all these different things but uh i don't know she was now she's like posting about russia ukraine and she's not a fan of russia anymore so wherever you are lot i think her name was like lot of it yeah i don't think there's a lot of Russia anymore. So wherever you are, I think her name was like Lotbit. Shout out Lotbit, dude. There's a lot of Russians who aren't fans of Russia right now.

This is about to be a Russian insurrection. They're like, we're losing everything. It's gotta be hard to root for your country when you're not allowed to have Twitter. I mean, if they take Twitter away from me, dude, I don't know what else I'll do. Twitter's next, dude. Twitter's, I mean, what? Twitter kind of sucks.

It's also kind of scary that, like, these companies can just do that and people are like, we're done. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of scary that, like, the people who make money move can be like, you can't move your money anymore. Yeah. That's fucking insane. And that's a couple of things I've seen before. And it's, granted, one, I listen to War Mode too much. Yeah. So, like yeah so like i'm i always have like i'm like no i'm getting both sides of the argument

but like where they're like well if they're if they could shut off russia's money that means they could shut off yours whenever they want and then i was like oh yeah fuck they can do that like i have i think i have 23 in cash in my life right now yeah So if anyone decided to be like, yo, TD, we're going to turn that off for a little bit. I'm like, oh, I just have $23. Yes. So I'm just burying gold in my backyard. It's because we're in a fucking debt-based economy. So all the money we have isn't like our money.

It's Swift. It's their money. It always blows my mind. The amount of work I put in to just get more numbers on an app, essentially, now. Not even to get someone else's numbers. I'm also the person that's like, Bitcoin's fucking stupid. And then my one friend was like, hey, how much cash do you have?

Again, I was like, $23 in cash. And he's like, yeah, all your money is just digits on an app right now. I was like, oh, shit, you're right. He's like, you've been operating in Bitcoin. The whole thing did freak me out whenever the gold standard came up I remember I was talking to my buddy and we were like 18 years old and we were just freaking ourselves out

talking about the fact that you were a dork you were talking about gold standard at 18 you didn't drink until you were like 20 right yeah so that's what you do when you don't drink we were just sitting there having an existential crisis we were like the dollar is worth a dollar now it's just the dollar the dollar is what it is there's no more backing it yeah we're like we don't even have jobs yet anyway i'm gonna ask my dad for some of those

dollars so i can go to this movie tell him to send it to me in bitcoin you old man when you were saying earlier with uh you knew a Russian guy. I went on an interview once, and it was a Russian guy interviewing me, and on his desk, he had a single bullet. And at some point in the interview, he was like, I keep this here because I want to remind myself of what I escaped. And I was like,

oh my god. And he's like, so tell me, do you look good in a team unit? And I'm like, Jesus Christ! You just went from showing me a live round on your desk to being like, also, are you good at other cooler talk? If you're not good at this, I put bullets in your head. I like the idea that he starts doing the fucking thing. I've replaced bullets many times.

He just starts doing that one scene from Tommy Boy where he does the, you ever see that, where he does the roll and he talks about, yeah, this is my pet it's my sale and I love it and I kill it and I kill it

I probably should have remembered the scene before I said it that's where people like you and I gotta forge on don't we Helen Helen you look like a Helen

there we go he doesn't see it this is the part of the episode we just started doing our favorite Tommy Boy yeah dude isn't that's fucking

down by the van down by the river? It is. It's a Matt Foley day. Yeah, that's him. He covered up the Richard Pryor one. It's like three months over. It's Christmas time, you know?

Yeah, I get it. I got it. A lot of shit about that Christmas tree still being up. I don't really see the issue with it, very honestly. Whatever, it's a fake Christmas tree. Thank you. My mom has a Christmas tree. She just leaves up and decorates for whatever holidays come.

That's awesome. And it's currently a St. Paddy's Day tree that's cool at first I was like damn you're just lazy I was like no there's so much more

commitment you have to find 4th of July tree ornaments those don't exist yeah she's making them by the way

if you have any popsicle sticks I really I gotta make a bunch of cloverleafs by tomorrow I don't know isn't it like a pagan thing wasn't the Christmas tree supposed to be I gotta make a bunch of cloverleafs by tomorrow. I don't know.

Isn't it like a pagan thing? Wasn't the Christmas tree supposed to be like a big pagan? We're tackling all the issues here. It's important. Gold standard. Religious existences and beginnings. Peggy's, dude. Peggy O'Leary. Dude.

I might think about turning that ugly people. Being an ugly woman is noble. I'm thinking about turning that into a bit I think that might be a bit what's gonna be fun is to watch you work it out you have to just start by saying that line in public and just see how it goes yeah cause no cause then everyone's gonna be like

ah fuck you're right fuck we set it up so he's right. Shit. Every woman's beautiful. Fuck. He's got no loophole. He's fucking looped, told us. He's figuring it out.

Change the rules. Change the rules. Then you make him feel better by calling them noble. And they're like, we are pretty noble. He's got a good point, actually. Now that I think about it, too. Hi, Commissioner of Comedy, shut him down. He found the cheat code.

Who's the boss of comedy right now? Who's the comedy boss? Right now? Globally? Kevin Hart. Mr. Hart. Mr. Hart, he needs to be shut down. Mr. Hart, you like cheating on your wife? He's like, what is that?

Why are you saying that? He hasn't ever come at Anthony Anderson, has he? Oh, no. Mr. Hart. President Hart. President Kevin Hart. Dude, probably. One day.

Who are you nominating for president of comedy we'll go regionally northeast who do you throw out there northeast regional Baltimore to Boston

I don't know that's a tough one that's like the most Matt Brown dude Matt Brown Matt Brown baby boy

he's a sleeper pick he's a Baltimore comic so he's like Timonium's finest. Yeah, dude, he's the best. He's the OG of Magoobies. He's fucking Baltimore royalty. I was going to say, because you and I know a lot of the same weird scene of Baltimore to Harrisburg to Lancaster.

Dude, that's where I started. And you started coming to Lancaster, right? Yeah, I did the same shit. The same loop. Did you go to Reading ever? The comedy? Yeah, definitely. Easter Slings?

The roast battles there. Yeah. A little bit. But then you know all the same weirdos. You've experienced or have heard of half of them. Like Heath the Queef. Yeah, I love those guys. I don't know.

Because he blows it out of the box. I think he should be the VP of comedy he's the VP you gotta have a wild card in there you can pay him in meth probably Tony Viagra I've never met him but I remember one night have you ever go to Angie's

the diner we went to Angie's one night and I don't know what was happening but I don't know why somebody was just starting to throw a creamer at Heath and he just like he didn't react dude he just kept doing his set which was

like oh he's convinced he's I'm convinced he's a robot he's a freight train he's a robot that runs on meth I remember one night it was me my brother Nate Marshall and another guy he doesn't do comics his name's Logan

but he was like we're sitting at a table and Heath came up to us and he was like you guys are young you still got all your teeth that's all he equates with you

his teeth I still I still will put he's five minutes set up against 90% of the comics I've seen oh he's a Barack baby

who the fuck was talking about him you can fully just fully steal that pic I told you about it he's so for the listener he is I mentioned him like

early on in this podcast he has he wears a bread suit yeah he's a bread suit. Yeah, he's a bread suit. He also has the saltine. Oh, that's new, dude. I'm an in-saltine comic.

So it's basically the inbred. So first he had a bread costume, and the whole thing was I'm inbred. And he was the inbred comic. Oh, wasn't it? Gillis talked about it on Broken. Yes, he did. He's the queen. It was mentioned on Broken. Really? Yes. That's awesome, Yes. He was mentioned on Rogan. Really?

Yes. That's awesome. He said the Barack baby bit. Oh, he a Barack a baby. He told his funny points I can tell Joe Rogan and Joe Rogan was like I don't think that's very funny.

It was a weird like aside and then it just like instantly a new topic. But it's so funny to think that like everyone that's gone through the Central PA comedy scene the first person ever mentioned on the highest podcast platform But it's so funny to think that everyone that has gone through the Central PA comedy scene,

the first person ever mentioned on the highest podcast platform of all. It's the fucking Queef of Comedy. I knew I heard it. There was at least 5,000. Exactly. That means there was upwards of 5,000 to 10,000 people that Googled Heath the Queef that day. And I will say this. I guarantee you he has zero internet presence. Well, there's a,

there's a video on YouTube of him. Is there? There is a video of his set on YouTube. I'll post a link on this listener. I'll put it on Instagram and on this. It is. Did he used to have the turd brake light joke? He had,

he would just, he had the inbred costume and then he would turn around and drop a red light out of the back. And he was like, that's my turd brake light. And that was it. That was the whole bit. That's hilarious, dude. That's fucking crazy. No other.

And he was shaking. That's awesome, dude. And then he would just. He always ended the set the same way, too. He'd just have him heat the queef because I blow it out of the box. And he would do a queef noise with his mouth. A super accurate queef noise. How old is the guy? He could be 29

or he could be 79 years old. No one knows. He's almost 50 I bet. He's probably 50. I remember one time he told us about how he got stuck under his trailer. He got frozen under his trailer. He got frozen under his trailer.

Because I was there for like a day and a half. I'm picturing him in the bread costume, too. Under his... Oh, my God. Yeah, because you couldn't necessarily call him a prop comic. Because the best thing is he'll do a half a set and not a dress that he's in a costume that has two pieces of bread. And then he gets to the inbred stuff. I'm inbred.

To watch everyone's face. You're a fucking genius, dude. And he would just disappear for months at a time. And you'd be like, well, he's dead. And then all of a sudden he would reappear. And he's like, I've been trapped under my trailer. I've been frozen under my double one. Damn.

When I was in middle school, we had our oldest teacher. She had to have been like 87 years old. Fell getting out of her car on an icy morning. And we would have drop-offs. And there was just like tons of minivans driving past her. She was like yelling for help people just kept going and it was like a going conversation like people came in like you saw miss basis was in the parking lot i remember just like did anybody help her we're like

nah my mom wasn't getting out of the car it's early they just did i understand that, dude. As a parent that has to do morning drop-off to daycare, you could die in front of my car and I'm like, I gotta get home and get coffee. You can't be the kid who got out and helped her. Your friends are like, you're fagged.

Really? You helped her out? I was gonna fire her. No, no, I was holding her up so she could get her balance. I could punch her in the face. You were driving by. You're like, remember when you gave me that D last week? Yeah. She was up there for like half an hour.

Oh, God. I can't believe nobody helped her. She was just on the ground for half an hour. She fell once and was like, help. You said it was icy. She just kept falling. At some point, it's like you've got to try and get up. Nobody helped her.

Oh, God. Roll into school and get up. Nobody helped her. Roll into school at that point. She just crawls in. Help. The fucking student president drove by her. I was like, if he's not helping her, nobody's helping her. He's getting re-elected next year. The president let her die. He's like, if she dies.

He did the Caesar thumb. He sat there and he was like, nah. You freeze out there, you bitch. Yeah, she gave me a D. Yeah. Oh, it really was incredible. Holy shit. Well, I hope she's still alive.

She's probably not. If she was 80 and that was 12 years ago. There's no way, dude. 102-year-old teacher. Her husband taught Spanish, and he was just like a 70-year-old white dude. And he called my friend a retard one time during Spanish class. Hell yeah. Did he say it in Spanish, though?

No, he was just like, are you a retard? Oh, a retardo? Yeah, that's awesome. He was like, I don't think so. If you went to a Catholic school, you could say shit like that and probably not get fired, right? No, you cannot. You don't need to have a teaching degree to teach at a Catholic school, right? No, you just have to graduate from that school.

You have to have the spirit of the Lord. Yeah as long as you got the fire of God in you. Do you have a resume? No but also psalms. That's a good one. You put out a gold chain with a cross on it. Isn't this enough? Isn't this enough Jesus like this? The dude thought resume was a Spanish word. Resume. She's a fucking idiot. It means to resume. Fuck. Holy shit. All right, well, we're at an hour.

Holy shit. Oh, wow. Let's go. I don't know. We can keep going. I'm having fun. Whatever we got. I might have to go

another beer, though. I'm getting a little hard. Here. What do you got going on, LaMare? March 27th at City Winery. I have a show. People should come to that.

You and Tyler Rothrock, right? Yeah. Nice. I'm going to help Brooke run the 12 Steps Down shows now. I'm on the one in like two weeks. Yeah, I know. I saw. That would be awesome.

She put your name with a lot of hearts on it in a text message. Yes. And I was like, no, no more of that. We're professionals. That's not professional. Now I have to, as a disclaimer, say if my wife listens this far, Brooke is a lesbian. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why we work well together. Yeah. We both love pussy. Fucking crushing pussy with Brooke, dude. That's a great podcast. Yeah. Crushing pussy with Brooke. fucking crushing puss with brook dude yeah crushing brook damn dude everything's a podcast i'm trying to i want to do a podcast i don't know how

i don't know what but it's going to be a musical like episodic musical podcast like a like a rock opera i don't know i don't know how would you i was just i don't know like i would like i would think about like every episode leads to a song okay and then like you put it out you know and you just have it's actually just put it's basically putting out a song you know you're just talking about releasing music yeah not it's not me though i'm not like i'm not singing or nothing like but i kind of want to write something. I don't know. Because I feel like that's not a thing people really do, and it's a good idea.

That could be kind of fun if you did it vice versa. If you got a musician, and you wrote them a song, and they wrote you jokes. And they had to go up and sing your song, and you had to go up and try to make their stupid shit funny. Yeah. That sounds fun. He did a stand-up with drums. He was doing sets where he would have

people playing drums in the background who Norm it's Norm it was off of there's one dude on Instagram that he just drums

like the rhythm of stand up and it was that guy he brought him when he was whatever say he's in Cleveland where that guy lives

and he did it like experimental and it did add like a cool punch to it especially because he's so the timing of his material is so important.

Meanwhile, we're just like, aren't women ugly? No, we're the opposite, dude. We like women and we think they're good. We think women are beautiful. We think women are beautiful and if you're an ugly woman, it's honorable. It's honorable to be an ugly woman.

She should get involved in politics politics she's better she's better suited no and the fact that aoc is like a beautiful politician lady come on dude they're fucking it up there's also that she's working so hard there's that gun loving uh republican that's also hot but you can't say it if you aren't republican the one that just freaked out on biden she was like a dumb i don't know oh i think she's like the one who just freaked out on Biden she was like a dumb bar girl I think she's like the one who openly tweeted about QAnon yeah she's like a Q like politician but she's also like she's hot

she's a babe yeah they can't take over politics politics for old dumb white men you can't give politics to babes dude they got too much on their minds they gotta go to the fucking beach and Baywatch around. Babes don't do law. That's a good argument I had with a history mom.

You got to go to the beach. I was in fact in your interview, I'm going to be a politician. I'm like, how much do you go to the beach? A lot. I'm very sexy. Yeah. What are your tan lines like? You can't, bro.

Mrs. Palin, what are your tan lines like? Alan Palin was a great spinoff. We need more political spinoff porn. Yeah. Let's go, Brandon. It's a gay porn. I'm your president. Let's go on, Brandon.

I'm Joe Biden. You can't fuck me in my ass like that. Joe Ryden. Yeah. I'm Joe Ryden. You can't fuck me in my ass like that. Here, you're touching my dick. That's what makes my penis hard.

That's a porn spot in my blue shell. I have four. Come on, man. Come on, my back, man. You can't be doing that. Come on, man. Who was it, the woman that was in Nail and Pallon? Lisa Ann, right?

Wait, did you guys do an episode of In His Mouth with her? We did one with Aaliyah Janine and Jessica St. Clair. There you go. We're trying to get the ideal. I'm trying to get Rachel Dolezal for the end of the year, dude. That'd be fucking badass. She's doing like OnlyFans shit now, isn't she? Yeah, but it's not like, she's just like, here's stuff. She's has triceps now.

Yeah, she's fucking jacked. She's pretty jacked, dude. Yeah. But we're going to get her. We're going to get her. I don't know how. just like, here's stuff. She has triceps now. Yeah, she's fucking jacked. She's pretty jacked, dude. Yeah. But we're going to get her. We're going to get her. I don't know how. I have a brother's Snapchat. That's a good in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to talk to her brother now. How white is her brother? I haven't looked. I'm afraid to look. Because when I look, I'm going to have to learn. I'm going to be like, all right, I got to be. We're friends now.

And I got to be like, I can't. You're just friends with an Eric Dolezal? Yeah. You're pretty close. You're pretty close. You're pretty close to his name. Derek Dolezal? I don't want to say.

I don't want to say. I want to give away my connect, but you're pretty close, dude. All right. I want to give away. You're adding different Dolezals. Yeah. With an E? Yeah.

It's pretty. You're pretty close, dude. I must have said it in my head. Great a guess at brother's names? Yeah. You were pretty close, dude. I must have said it in my head. I have great aggressive brother's names. So, Panties in the Mouth podcast with Annie Malfrena and Nate Marshall. Can you explain where Panties in the Mouth came from? Because we're also a podcast with a stupid name. Yeah.

It came from when we were starting comedy out in the Lizard Lounge. Nate and Andy had an argument that almost ended the friendship. They had an argument about Nate's side was women always love panties in their mouth. Always. Yeah, always. The hard political sides. And Andy's side was, hey, man, sometimes they don't. The controversial take.

I love how light of a take it yeah it's so light it's like nah I mean not always I mean sometimes yeah dude yeah

it was over some beers it was like it would like last for a couple weeks the argument dude we'd go to the lizard lounge it would be wild

yeah lizard lounge is a good spot too man RIP dude yeah did you get a piece of the stage when they were

shutting it down no did they? No, I should have took one. The Chameleon Club, to make a little bit of money, like, took an axe to their stage and just started selling chunks of it. I would have bought a piece

if I knew that, dude. But it was the upstairs stage, which still is cool. Yeah, upstairs stage is cool, but I would have took a piece of that wood panel wall. Yeah. Give me this.

Took an arcade machine from when they had that short stint as a barcade yeah that one little room on the side I never saw the games on I think I just went over there

to like try to write a joke and I'm like this is a quiet room I'm just standing here yeah the pool table got more use than the arcade machines

yeah that place Phantom Power is cool too the new place I haven't been out there yeah it's pretty cool because that's like in Millersville right

yeah it's Aubrey I think that's, like, in Millersville, right? Yeah. It's Aubrey, I think, runs it, kind of? Yeah. Audrey. Yeah, Audrey. I said Audrey. Yeah. I was like, yeah, Aubrey.

No, it's Audrey. Yeah. I miss Central PA comedy sometimes. Yeah. That's where you did your first show in Central PA. And I remember, like, every time you've been out there, you're like, oh, you can kind of just say whatever you want out here. Yeah, it was nice.

It was very refreshing. Where'd you do that? Where was it? We just put the Comedy Zone. Yeah, it was nice. It was very refreshing. Where'd you do that? Where was it? We just put the Comedy Zone. No, well, your first one was Champs. It was Gary Lamoza. Champs. Oh, okay.

Yeah, so he came out. I think it was my third. That was my first show out there. With the fucking Christmas light American flag in the garage. And then as soon as the show's over, they clear it out because it's a dance floor. As soon as the show ends. Yep, you gotta get out. They're dancing. All the divorced's over they clear it out because it's a dance floor as soon as the show ends. Yep. You gotta get out.

They're dancing. All the divorced moms get out there and fucking Cupid shuffle. Get that groove back. It's funny bro that I just got that as a Facebook memory that was three years ago

yesterday. Only three? I thought it was more than that. First show I did I was like three months in. It was a good time. It was a fun show. It's an awesome room.

Gary Lamoge runs it out there if you're in the central PA area, I think he still does that room. Yeah. But. I don't know. I don't know. You've done a few out there, though. But it is always like, Central PA is nice because you kind of can just, you can say

things. Yeah. And people don't base what you say, like they don't base their entire understanding of who you are off of like, oh, I tried this as a tag. Yeah. The first time. Yeah. It's like other mics I've been to where you say one thing and then they're like, oh, I tried this as a tag the first time. Where it's like other mics I've been to where you say one thing and then they're like,

you're a piece of shit. I'm like, well, I am, but like. That's not why. Yeah, dude, when I go up tonight and say, ugly women are noble, they're going to be so mad. Central PA, you would have shut it down. They would have been like, damn, you want a headline tomorrow?

This guy's fucking. You don't even finish the joke. It's going to be so... I'm going to get banned from Fergus for saying that. I was going to say, I wonder how Fergus is going to receive that bad boy. Can you film it and then we'll add it onto this? Because I'll probably put this out like Tuesday, Monday or Tuesday. If you do, add it and that'll be our promo for this.

We'll put in a disclaimer at the beginning. If it goes bad, he'll be like, look, LaMare that'll be our promo for this. We'll put in a disclaimer at the beginning. If it goes bad, we'll be like, look, LaMare, try to joke on our podcast that we couldn't be more against. We think ugly women are not normal. And then there's audio of you guys just audibly like, yo, dude, that's fucking good. Wait, let's do another take here and I can cut it later. LaMare, you shouldn't have said that. What the fucking hell was that? You're a terrible person.

Dude, we love snizz. that? You're a terrible person. Dude, we love snizz. Or we don't. Or we don't. You know what? I'm sorry. During Women's History Month. It's almost over.

Yeah, it's coming to an end. We're like halfway through, right? Nah, not yet. We got a couple days. It's the one week period of peace between the Women's Month. Ha-cha-ha-cha-cha-cha-cha. I did it. I tried it as a joke at 700 where I was like, first off, I shouldn't have started it with, has anyone else been getting women's history jammed down their throat? That lost everybody.

But then I love the idea that at some point. Not at the 700, dude. Right? Yeah. At some point in history, some woman was like, wait, blacks get their own month? That's funny. See, that it's pretty good and then the rest of the joke was just well when do you want your month to be right after whenever there's it yeah that's funny because it is true it's just like in politics yeah obama became president and now

hot girls think they can get into politics i was i tried to do a joke about it was like susan b anthony was like yo a black person gets to vote before me never never I'll take these stars off this thing fuck these stars no that was yeah Susan B. Anthony no that was

Betsy Ross Betsy Ross yeah all those conversations definitely started do you think Betsy Ross is just like a huge dick rider of all

like the founding fathers like she was the hang around girl she had to be they were just like listen we're not gonna fuck you. I don't know,

go make a flag or something. Her and Francis Scott Key was the whores. They were the sluts. They were the old bags. That was the whole story of his was he rode it from the hull of a ship. He was in prison, wasn't he?

Oh, beautiful. He was on the battlefield. He was in a boat and he was watching the battle. It was in Baltimore. It was Baltimore Harbor. He was like prison, wasn't he? Oh, beautiful. He was on the battlefield. Was that what he was? He was in a boat. And he was watching the battle. It was in Baltimore. It was Baltimore Harbor. Yeah. And he was like, oh, shit.

Wait, wait, wait. Fort McHenry? He was like, I got some bars real quick. Wait right there. I need some bars. Yo, this is the real shit I ever wrote. They're like, load your own cannons. And we're like, bro, battle.

And he's like, hold on. Hold on, dude. Hold on, hold on. I'm writing with a feather. Dude, give me a moment. Yeah, he had to dip it while cannon fodders went off around him. Oh, dude. I'm writing with a feather. Dude, give me a moment. Yeah, he had to dip it while... Cannon fodder's going off around him. Oh, beautiful.

Yo, what rhymes with spacious? The guy in the back's like, Francis is popping off right now. He's eating. Now, I can't say the grains are yellow. What do you think? Amber, also grab a gun. Yeah.

You need your own. Diane, I gun. Yeah. I'm almost there. I'm almost there. Oh. Can I get a beat? He held out the and the and the like seriously, you gotta rock this. No, no, wait. It's coming. It's coming.

Brain. He did the He pointed at the boat. It's coming, it's coming. Break. He predicted the future. He's like, yo, one day Whitney Houston is going to kill this. Who the fuck is Whitney Houston? I'll say it. What is the Super Bowl?

Dude, hell yeah. That'd be so awesome. Francis Scott Key in the middle of battle. Like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait, guys. Wait, dude. Pressure builds diamonds and I'm making a hit. I'm making a classic right now.

Francis Scott Key just speaking in Instagram captions. Is there any rappers that go by Francis Scott Key? Dude, not yet. Francis Scott Keys? Come on, dude. Yeah, he's got to be. Pian go by Francis Scott Keys? Dude, not yet. Francis Scott Keys? Come on, dude. Yeah, yeah. Pianist. Francis Scott Keys? That's important.

Francis Scott Keys. That's a lady. He's a fuckboy. Yeah. I don't know. All right. So you got City Winery coming up. Yeah.

What else you got? You want to promote anything? April 15th I mean kinetic April 16th we're doing we're doing off wrestling

at the Phil Mocha and it's legit now we got we're a legit promotion dude so on April 16th I have my official first

professional wrestling match let's go can you reveal do you have a persona I'm Don Johnson the businessman

with fingers made of bones but yeah I'll eventually fuse into Lamar Lee somehow I don't know yeah I think that'll be

a part of it like that'd be a good like me and Goran Goran's my partner and his character's name Pussy Licker St. Arby's

St. Arby's is his character's name it used to be Pussy Licker but it's St. Arby's St. Arby's is the character's name it used to be Pussy Licker but it's St. Arby's now we'd be a we're a tag team and there could be like

we could do something that goes too far and I'd be like hey dude I don't wanna this wasn't part of the script I'm just La Mer yeah I just

back out of it turn into myself I think that'd be funny fuck off that's just La Mer now. Yeah, I just back out of it, turn into myself. I think that'd be funny. Fuck off, that's just La Mer. And it's like, hey. What up? Also, hopefully he pulls through.

Razor Ramones on death's door right now. Right now? When? He had three heart attacks last night. Damn! Also, Tom Brady came back. Do you guys see that? He's playing football again?

Tom Brady said, yo. Next year? He's like, Razor Ramon's dying. I gotta come back. I gotta do one more skeezer for old Scott. One more for the bad guy. Razor Ramon apparently had three heart attacks Saturday night. Damn.

So he's on life support. By the time this comes out, Razor Ramon might be dead. So we could be the ones to break it. Rest in peace, Razor Ramon. And in the tradition of Hawk Hosen tweets, kick out one last time brother. I thought you were going to say the N word.

I was going to say, I don't care if she's dating him. I read a transcript of that just to be like, no, he's not racist. Come on, man. I read a transcript of that Like just to be like No he's not racist Come on man

I read a transcript I was like ah He even goes He's like maybe I'm a little bit racist He's like alright Maybe he has some He has some self awareness Booker T was in the background

Going like you can say I'm a racist I'm a monster Yeah I believe it's just Path for white men To say the n-word in front of me Vince McMahon says it in front of Booker T yeah

he says it to Cena in front of Booker T with his wife there his real wife is there and Booker T just had to be like I mean this paycheck is great look Sharmell King Booker's paying all of our money that is true if you can if you own

everything you can really say whatever you want yeah dude and nobody like i don't know it's still under the radar even with this whole go back and like look at shit culture yeah i think that's got a deal with nbc yeah and that's probably why he doesn't do like any like interviews where it's not like he's something he can control yeah because if he's out there, they'll be like, what about this? And he'll be like, hey, we're having fun. We're playing around. Guys being guys. Locker room talk. Yeah, guys being guys. Locker room talk. You know what it's like out there, Joe.

That's true, because he just did the episode, or he did Pat McAfee. It was cool. It was fun. He owns Pat McAfee. Yeah. He can say whatever he wants. Exactly. And Pat Mc won't fuck it up. He gave him a match at WrestleMania for hush money. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He can say whatever he wants. Exactly. And Pat Mac won't, like, fuck it up. He gave him a match at WrestleMania for hush money. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. Dude, WrestleMania's going to be hype this year. That's what I'm doing. I'm excited for it. April 3rd through April 4th, WrestleMania. No, April 2nd, April 3rd is WrestleMania. Fuck. Are you promoting WrestleMania right now?

Yeah, dude. It's the spectacle. No, it's going to be stupendous, dude. Are you guys going to tune in to me? Are you going to, like, live stream it right now? Yeah, dude. It's the spectacle. No, it's going to be stupendous, dude. Are you going to live stream it or anything? Yeah. Oh, on the Panties in the Mouth Discord. We have a Discord.

We usually do a stream. I might do one on Saturday. Or Sunday. Okay. Yeah. Sunday night WrestleMania stream on our Discord. If you're doing anything watching along, let me know. Yeah.

I'd love to do that. Yeah, dude. You can come in, chat with the fucking panty boys. Damn, can we throw a false count anywhere? Yeah. False count everywhere. Yeah. They need a fucking Discord.

True. Yeah. All right. So we can find you. Where can we find you, then? Oh, at Lamar Lee on all social media, Facebook, Instagram, Pornhub. Pornhub. Is that foosketball?

Is that foosball and basketball? Is it ever, dude? I thought it was like samurai swords, like mini samurai swords. I've never even seen that. It was a Christmas gift from my 26-year-old roommate. Yeah. He needed it. He asked for it.

He put it on his list, and Santa delivered. That's awesome. It was huge. Is it good? No. It doesn't look good. Is it not fun at all? Not even fun. How hard is it to no it doesn't look is it not fun at all not even

how hard is it to get a shot I mean I've I've done it the camera's not even on the camera that's not on I've done it twice and both times

were too hard and I got tired and sad so I had to stop yeah alright before we play foosball Matt where can we find you

what do you got going on you can find me at Matt Peoples Comedy on Instagram and Twitter. And March 19th, I'll be at Comedy on the Crick in Levittown. Are you doing that? No. You should do it. It's fun. It's a great one.

Comedy on the Crick at a place in Levittown. That'll be fun. This Wednesday, High Note Humor is having the open mic comeback. Hey, let's go. Dude, I used to be a host there, dude. Did you? Yeah, I was a host there for like a year, but I didn't really show up that much. I was there for

like six months. I was host for like six months. Nice. I didn't know you were a fellow alum. Yeah, dude, I'm an alum. Well, I guess we're still, we're like sophomores. Yeah, I know. So, we'll be're still, we're like sophomores. I don't think we're young school boys yet. We'll be there Wednesday, drinking. And April 1st,

we're doing a nice little bringer show at Stand Up New York. So let's go. They got really good wings there. I haven't missed those smokehouse wings on the Wednesday, dude. Dude, yeah. Are they still half-priced? Yeah. Dude, because half-priced wings is a big deal. Especially right now.

Especially right now, dude. I'm going to show up. Give you some wings. Just for the wings, dude. You're actually like, no, I'm not going to go back to that mic. There's an open mic? Yeah. Just hear all these smoked wings.

You can pay a toll to get half-priced wings. Yeah, she just got full-priced wings. All right, where you got social media shit? Yeah, I said it. You did? All right. At Mad People's Comedy. Cool.

That's me. You can find me, 12 Steps Down, a show that Lemaire was doing with Brooke on the 24th. Or the next night. If you look further outside of Pennsylvania, Tyler Rothrock in- Ooh, Emmaus? No, it's the smaller Tamaqua. Oh, Tamaus. It's the smaller Tamaqua. Tamaqua. Tamaqua.

Tamaqua theater show on the 25th. Or the next night at Comedy on the Crick. Which actually you can't find me there because it's sold out. Damn dude. Hell yeah. That Tamaqua show is probably sold out too. You can find me at my neighbor's

kids party that morning getting drunk with two year olds let's go dude just looking at my calendar it's weird to be it's weird to like kids as an adult

because everyone's like everyone's like you're a pedo you're like no kids are just better than you yeah kids are awesome really sick

they don't see the darkness yet yeah Chris Hansen kind of ruined kid hangs all the time this guy's show I'm like Yeah, kids are awesome. Pretty sick. Yeah, they don't see the darkness yet. Yeah, true. Chris Hansen kind of ruined Kid Hanks. Yeah. All the time, this guy's show, I'm like, she seems cool, man. She seems cool online.

I'm like, I bet she did. She's not nagging at me. Yeah, the wife hasn't drug her down yet. Yeah, she just wants to play Nintendo Switch, dude. You know what the Tamagotchi pet she has, you idiot? Holy shit. All right. Montag,ech Comedy on Instagram Hacks Comedy Golf

check out LaMare's episode with Andy Malferina it was the second to last episode we're bringing it back eventually hey

uh Handsome Idiots Pod that's us what else what do you want to say dude next time you do it you gotta have all the panty boy

me Nate and Andy well yeah we're gonna we're gonna ball out we're gonna ball out with our Patreon money. Like, here's $200. Let's go.

Let's do it. You know how many Oysters Rockefeller you could get at Topgolf with $200? Dude, at least four or five, dude. What do you want to say? I'll throw this in there. This was the very last episode and Donald Trump is still the president. No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bitter No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bitter No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bitter