That Rules Podcast - Episode #65: South Jersey Unsolved Mysteries. w/ The South Jersey Bad Boys Podcast

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

Look we are contractually obligated to include other South Jersey comedy podcasts while on our meteoric rise. That being said Brendan Donegan and Dan Callahan are bad people, and they really should be deplatformed. But I guess in the meantime enjoy them doing whatever it is they are trying to do. 🎥 🎙: @jstirone

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 They didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. We saw him conquer, dude. Get the hell out of here. Get the hell out of here.

We already got him rattled. Smash my table, break the mic. I don't like this, guys. I invite you into. I put on my best track suit. Your best track suit. His best cross-country suit. And I put on Matt's pants.

And I invite you. We were like, maybe we'll do this at Matt's apartment. And I was like, it's not just another episode. It's the dogs. It's the boys that come through. And then you come into my domicile, drink my White Claws. Take your kid's cheese. Yeah, eat my kid's cheese.

And then have the gall to just. It's what the people want. To just lay it on my wicker furniture table like that. To just flop them out like that? Listen, if you thought we weren't coming in here with all due disrespect, you got another thing coming. Well, this is – and I don't think this is – I feel like we can talk about this on here.

Like you guys admittedly have a bad podcast. And how did you get the inspiration to like sing in the beginning of it? Because me and John, we like care about hours. We like put time into it. So we had somebody put together a theme song. How did it like you're because me and john we like i don't really care about hours we like put time into it so we had somebody put together a theme song like how did it like strike all the guys were like the thing is what you do to have a really settle down is to get a really bad podcast you got to invest in all the things before you even get like a good report going like you guys did you know like a theme song yeah okay and if i invest you mean beg our friends to do things for free,

then yeah, we invest in heavy. And then they're like, yeah, but wait until they get some material. It will come. If you build it, it will come. Rob Cruz told us that he only gives away free stuff like that to the needy, and he said, I'm not going to do that for free for you guys. I think you should take the cops theme song and then sing it yourself. Do whatever you got to do first.

True. And then once the ad revenue starts coming in in a couple months, come back. So we're waiting on Rob to react to us. We had a weird way too

where we were like, let's go with the content first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the laughs and like, you know. Oh, I meant to ask you guys about that. Stuff that people can enjoy.

We're having a hard time filling like 37 minutes. We were thinking about taking calls to like spread a little more time in there. Do you guys have any thoughts about that? I would say just ramble with no laughs for two hours. Who gives a shit?

Just talk about like you're in confession and no one's listening and no one will ever pay for it. You guys sound like a couple guys who need confession. And we're here. We're Father John and Father Matt. And that's why we allow confessions to come in live to the podcast. The phone number is 856-617-4626. We actually got a call today.

I don't know who did this. I'm genuinely curious. I didn't even have you listen to it. Somebody called and they played a voice message saying that a certain Tony Parlante is ready for his rectal exam at a thing. So I just think it's... I don't even have this phone number saved and they're just calling us. I don't know who it is. Call him back.

Should we call him on air? That went great for us last time. We had somebody call somebody on air. Do you think it's Tony himself? He finally figured out how to dial his phone and he's just calling in the podcast? I think as he approaches his twilight years, anything is on the table for that young man. I love how interested you guys immediately are of saying, you know, what would be good if we called somebody live on air?

No, dude. We don't actually think it's that good of an idea, dude. It's a fine idea. No, I love that idea. We nailed it with Cody. We only had to cut most of the audio from Cody berating the other Mugga Bug owner. That's a true bad boy. Man, editing

that was fun. I don't know what I'm doing, especially when I edit. Usually it's just like I copy and paste, but it was just like I had to cut out the lady's name. I had to cut out the lady's name. I had to cut out where Cody threatened her life multiple times. He tends to do that. It was a light threat. It was a cute threat.

It was a cute threat. It wasn't anything outlandish. It took me two seconds for you to realize you weren't talking about Rob Cody and calling Rob Cody by his last name. Oh, yeah, that's their fault. Rob Cody, though, is somebody that I would threaten multiple lives on a daily basis. How about it, y'all? Yeah.

How about it? He's trying to relax. How about it, y'all? There's a bomb attached to your air conditioner in the back. Yeah. I wouldn't make a false move. Did he plant those bombs at the 96 Olympics in Atlanta? Probably.

A lot of people are starting to speculate. Yeah. He's got that look to him. Heard that rumor going around. Yeah. I wasn't there, dude. I was just born. But I remember when you guys applied born in the early 80s, late 70s.

I was too busy. Was the 96 team? That was the dream team. John was working. I was just born. But I remember when you guys were probably born in the early 80s, late 70s. I was too busy. Was the 96 team? That was the dream team. John was working. That was when they were good. We were three. Yeah, sure. I was on my second marriage.

Matt was semen. And that was when America was America, if you ask me. Especially in Georgia. I was going to say, if we talk loud enough, Rob Cody could probably hear us. So this one's for you, Rob. Not just the cameras. Is Rob closer to Camden? No, he's further you'll probably hear us. So this one's for you, Rob. Not just the cameras. Is Rob closer to Camden? No, he's further away.

I would love for a gunshot to be in the background audio of this because you do hear him every once in a while. And I have to lie to my daughter and go, fireworks. But in all sincerity, we did, and I'm not even doing a bit right now, we kind of like inspired you guys to kind of get together a little bit. A little bit Keep it a brick with us

You do some comps I got a good example after this We were looking at some comps You know as you do with John and Brendan you would know Looking at comps in a real estate market That's what we were doing Going down and we found a niche

Was it a home ownership thing? That was a home ownership thing We're all taxpayers here i don't know dan's got cocaine energy i'll tell you what the crud was all that about he's got cocaine we're just going we have a whole segment talking about this old house and everything and we can get into it we can go wall by wall panel by panel through here what an elitist what a nasty thing to say dude you know how much you know how hard i rent dude you know how much money I'm making, Mr. Haddon Town Center? You guys are a millionaire because of me. It's Dr. Haddon Town Center.

Dr. Haddon Town Center. As you were, sorry. We just looked at the marketplace and we saw a hole that needed to be filled. We've been a couple of guys that see holes that need to be filled. We'll fill any hole. Any hole. We've been known to do that. In bathrooms that open mics, it doesn't really matter where. Any hole that needs to be filled, We'll fill any hole. Any hole. We've been known to do that. Yeah. In bathrooms at open mics.

It doesn't really matter where. Any hole that needs to be filled where there was caulk. Caulk, caulk, whatever you want. You guys remind me a lot of if instead of Tom Cruise in Rain Man, they just had another Dustin Hoffman and the two of them

just went to the casino together. You're like 100 miles an hour, Dustin Hoffman, and you're like a little knocked in the head Hoff. That's actually in our bio. It's just the worst version of the Migos. Just Brendan's all ad-libs. Blast off. We already talked about it. Rest in peace.

What I was going to say about in all sincerity, as this guy likes to say, of how you guys inspired us. It reminds me of when you start stand-up? Oh, boy. You haven't done it yet,

so you don't have anything to base it off of, but then you see that one guy at an open mic that's so bad, you go, I could do better than that guy. Oh, wow. Inspiration. Yeah, and then five years later, that guy's booking you on shows.

Dan and I sold that. Damn it. We said, you know what? We can do better than that. I don't think we should get involved. When do you start then, fellas? What do we got going on here? I don't know.

My wife even gave you guys cupcakes as a gift. She only gave four because she's like, that's what you guys were worth. And we won't even touch them. It's because your wife is. Can we dress the part tonight? Yeah. Have some goddamn respect. Who's this?

Yeah. I got some fucking. Got the dogs on the socks. Hiked these puppies up. Got my best grass cutters on my feets. This is crap, dude. This is all crap. You know what?

You're faking like you don't want to roll your jeans. Deep down when you walked out of the house, I know you looked down and you were like. I did it. Actually, these jeans came in the mail to one of my friends' house. These jeans came pre-rolled. They're Express or a 3430. Barbie summer capris. No, dude.

Brendan, you can't wear the same exact outfit as me right now and try to color me. You look like my left nut, dude. Those shorts, your testicles are an inch from hanging out the bottom of those. Oh, you don't like cream? Is that what you're trying to say? It's also funny to think that three-quarter length pants would just be pants on you. Oh!

Not if they were sized up appropriately. Like a normal tall male's crop. No, if Matt was wearing a three-quarter legging, if you will. Let's leave him out of this. Sorry, I didn't know this was the Handsome Dumbass Podcast. This is the Handsome Regular Guys Podcast. This is exactly what the liberal women want us to do, is argue against each other when we could be making fun of the broads.

Let's hate on all the female. Let's hate on all the broads out there trying to make their podcasts in the South Jersey market. Are there any lady South Jersey podcasts? I don't think there's no lady South Jersey comedians. No, I just feel like podcasts in general, like gardening, violin. Oh, God. I don't know.

You would know better than me. There's got to be a true crime, right? There's got to be a girl, especially like this town. There's got to be a girl that lives here that has a true crime podcast. Oh, wait. Did you? Yeah, I think there's a couple. She probably has 4,000 times the listeners of us combined.

Actually, an episode of Unsolved Mysteries that just came out on Netflix of a girl down near AC. Did you watch that? Yeah, I did. Yeah, there was a girl that got hit on the train, and it's on Unsolved Mysteries, and we should probably cover that in one of our episodes. Because that's something that we would do. Yeah, because you guys-

I wasn't buying it either. It was some girl that got hit by a train and they were just like, she wasn't suicidal. And then they're just like, what happened? Oh, a South Jersey unsolved mystery. Like she lives in Atlantic City. It was just a bunch of people. She left home and she just wandered around the train tracks.

What was the guy's name from Unsolved Mysteries? The old, the original ones. Chris Harrison. With the trench coat? Chris Harrison? Chris Hansen. Chris Hansen, yeah. Those are solved mysteries, you know?

Chris Hansen is the host of the Bachelor. No, but the old one would come out and be like, this is Unsolved Mysteries. It's in the trench coat. I just want that trench coat guy to just be a dude coming out of a wall. I'm just like, yo, listen, girl named Diane I used to work with, she's not around anymore. So we started a show to look for her.

We're going to start in Atlantic City. Have you been here? My 21st birthday. Let's grab a shorty and see what's going on. Three days later, he's like, all right, now that we're done partying in Atlantic City, let's fight this dumb dead bitch. Dude, every scene cuts it. He's just like just finishing eating.

Just finishing a hoagie. Yeah, but we went, so we call her last week. She's freaking out, dude. That's the greatest transition you could have. We should film a South Jersey Unsolved Mysteries. Yeah, I think that is a great sketch. The problem is we would solve it because nobody else is doing that work. It's like no cops are doing the work to look for people in the United States.

The answer every time is Camden. That's where the body is every time. It just cuts short right at the end. The body was found in Camden. It's been decomposing for three weeks. Yes, okay. That's how we're going to build out this South Jersey podcast scene. I think so as well. Just cut short right at the end. The body was found in Camden. It's been decomposing for three weeks. Yes, okay. Yep, yep. That's how we're going to build out this South Jersey podcast scene.

Yeah. I think so as well. I think we don't build it out anymore. Yeah, I think we just make this one. I think the four of us just, we make it a dynasty, if you will. That's what Dan and I have been working on. Yeah. That's what we've been trying to build up. That's why, I mean, it's funny how we have had you guys on here, but.

Yeah. Well, you got to earn it. You got to earn it. Have we been on there? I don't know. We went to Dan's house to be like, I put food in a funny thing, whatever that podcast is called. And that guy we delivered that to keeps on texting me about like, when are you guys going

to do some more stuff? I was like, this really aspects. I mean, in a way. You want to tell us about our conspiracy guy that we got on? Oh, Jesus. Who is this? When you start telling people you're taking callers,

you get an influx of lunatics. We have a legitimate conspiracy guy. We got a guy that... And he knows, like, he knows we're... Legit. He knows what happened

to Tower 7. Yeah. Well, we're not even joking. He's got everything, dude. Everything. Now, is he a... allowed to be named guy? He goes by... Is he a blurry face he goes by jc oh

you have a goes by guy he goes by jc and he has a lot of paranormal stuff jesus christ he's mostly into the paranormal yeah he's very into the paranormal he's very religious what about the power normal i like to look into that yeah that was worth it brend was like, Brendan asked this guy, he's like, you ever tell people JC stands for Jesus Christ? He's like, you know what?

I have. To be fair, you guys are like, hey, we got a retard on our podcast. Oh, nice, dude. We got like nine of those. Yeah, that's how we roll.

There's not enough in this area to get on there. He fits in perfectly. We got to talk to a guy in Arizona who used to be in med school before he went and be in a quack.

And this is not slander because I don't know when this is going to come out. JC, we're excited for the next episode that's going to come out. He knows the report. We haven't revealed anything. Don't bring us into this when the FBI comes knocking on your door. We just have a disclaimer that

the Handsome Idiots do not support anything that Mr. C says. We'll put John's address up here. He can edit that in, right, John? No. Or on Yale Avenue or something. C says. We'll put John's address up here. Yeah, he can edit that in, right, John? Yeah, no. Or on Yale Avenue or something. There's just men in black walking down the driveway. JC, I'll get back to you.

He sent me about 37 unread texts at this point. But he was telling me about how there's a portal to hell in his basement and that there's demons that come out of it and he has pictures of them. Not joking. He's sending us proof that that's our next episode. What? Can you pull him out one? Oh, I'll pull him out one.

I'll pull you out one. They keep talking about how aliens may be a real thing and now it's become more and more of a threat. What if the person to break the whole story about aliens coming to Earth was the South Jersey Bad Boys? It was a good one. News sources had to be like, and recently on the South Jersey bad boys. Dan doesn't like the part. But like news sources had to be like

and recently on the South Jersey bad boys. This is what you get. That's simply too many words to say. Dan looks like the guy that has information. Yeah. Dan does have too much information about almost anything. A little bit too much. He looks like he just crawled out a cave somewhere with

some stories. I mean, local stuff. We could do a show in a town that was just formed eight minutes ago and Dan knows every inch of history. The mayor, his mistress, everything. So the football team's four and four. Yeah. That's terrifying. Oh, is that your guy?

JC, we did not mean to besmirch you. Quit talking shit, fellas. JC told me to delete these photos as soon as we look at them because the demons use phones as portals. So because I kept them on my phone. But here we go. You need to get a burner. You need a burner for your –

I use Google Voice. It's as big of a burner as I can go since I'm not allowed in Walmart anymore. Wait, did you – can we just rewind? Did you just get really shook by leaves in a breeze? Yes. I didn't get shook at all, dude. I fucking flexed and because I lift a lot of weight. He's got breezy shorts on, dude.

That went right up their sleeves. Are those Nike Pro Combats you got on there? Dude, they're just a pair of socks for a guy like me. No, I was talking about the compression shorts. Compression shorts? Could be, guys. With some Hobbit slippers is an interesting choice. Yeah, get your yucks out, dude, guys.

I'm still just amazed at the disrespect. One day you guys are going to walk into an office and you're going to be applying for a job. Finish this. And don't do it. Oh, look at old bitch shitter Donagans here, guys. There we go. That was worth it.

Yeah, whatever, dude. Your calves are really big. Dude, don't you dare besmirch these calves. Holy shit. Where the fuck did those suckers come from? Again, just the disrespect. They don't even know each other's calves. You bring that into my home?

Yeah, we're calving a good time. This is where I eat my meals. Oh, okay. I fall asleep out here sometimes. Yeah, bro. Out here. It's a problem. I didn't sleep out here when Ryan Foster was putting in that fan.

Yeah, he did a great job. Shout out to podcast guest alumni, Ryan Foster. He was shirtless for some reason. Yeah, he was like, he just did push-ups. With Trish alone? No, I made sure she wasn't here. But it was me and my daughter watching him put it up there, and then he looked at my daughter and was like,

ah, it's funny your dad's got to call people to do manly stuff. I was like, dude, she's not even two yet. Calm down. He's like, she'll know. Four years from now, Foster would have been hitting on her probably. Came over here with all that stolen copper wire. Didn't even tell you to turn the breaker off. Yeah.

He's like, let me tell you about trade school. I was like, come on, man. Thank God I'm having a son just for the sake of Foster being around. It's like I don't even have to worry about it. Yeah, you won't even have to worry about it. Yeah, son. You're having a son. A child.

You're having a son. Holy hell. Yeah. Damn. I was telling Brendan about that because I was like, dude, now instead of when your son goes to prom, you don't have to worry about beating some dude's ass if it was a girl. I mean, there's still a chance your son could have his boy at prom. But at least when he comes home from these dances, you could just smell his finger and not have to worry about beating somebody up.

That's what I'm looking forward to. That's why. What are you most excited about? Sniffing his fingers. Sniffing fingers. Sniffing fingers after the eighth grade dance. I could see you being a hardened dad. I thought you might be kind of a lax guy, but now that I've spent a little time with you

for the first time, you seem like you're going to be a hard-ass dad, dude. Hard-o? Yeah. Really, though? Well, I mean, you guys saw the energy I just brought into this room right now. I still don't appreciate it or like it.

I don't think we like you laying it down, dude. I think your son's going to feel the exact same. I'll lay this chug wherever I want. Dude, please don't. It's going to smell like cottage cheese. But the son's coming. Do we have a due date? Can we discuss this publicly?

March 31st. Did you call it a dude date? Yeah, it was pretty fun. Do a dude date? Is that what it's called? It's actually pretty good. March 31st. No fooling.

Wow, that kind of... Not the best birthday, but it's fine. It's going to sneak up on you. What happened on March 31st? Towers went down. The Ides of March, right? That's when they filmed the towers going down. During an Irish festival, the towers went down.

Yeah. Yeah, March 31st, baby boy. Holy shit, what if it's a day late and it's on April Fool's Day? What if it's not yours? Wow, you'll never know if you had a kid. Yeah, what if it's black? That's true. That could be true.

That's also possible. You'll fulfill my bid. Yeah. My parents' anniversary was on April Fool's. Is that right? Shit. Was it really? Am I right?

I had jokes that it was just a horrible joke This is how much I disastroke you guys when I eat candy. Let him eat the candy on the podcast, dude. Watch, I'm going to eat the Kit Kats weird.

I'm not going to break them apart. I'm going to do this. Holy shit, dude. That's weird. This guy doesn't give a fuck about you guys, dude. Talk about Twin Towers. You know what I'm saying?

This is the heart and soul of your podcast? Brendan's like, I'm having a kid. John's like, been there, done that. I mean the Kit Kat, brother. Oh, I'm having... Yeah, have fun. You love being a dad. So much.

Such a dad. So much. Oh, have fun. It's actually the most beautiful thing you'll ever experience. I'm just a stay-at-home dad. I got to stop lying to myself. I have a job, but I'm a stay-at-home dad. Don't act like we haven't had many of heart-to-hearts about how much you love being a father.

Dude, I cried when you told me you were having a kid. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Holy shit. No, I was just like, oh, they're going to let another one of them into the world? Yeah. Like that kind of cry.

Yeah, yeah. It's a tough dialogue when you're like, I had a dream that my dad and my daughter were playing baseball with each other and teared up, and I'm like, so I drank this weekend again and puked and laid in my own vomit. Listen, some of us wear track suits, and we're better humans than others. That's horse manure, dude. I'm a guy having fun, but I'm glad you're a good dad.

I think Brenda will be a nice dad. Dan, who knows what you're doing? It's fun. I don't know. Dan has taken on the dad culture. I'm an enthusiast. True. Dan is the most dad.

You are a piece of shit. Look at this shirt and the hat and the socks and the shoes. I'm wearing a bird nerd shirt with a duck on my hat. I fucking wear my best grass cutters over here. Look at these suckers. I can hide weed in there. It's just. You can hide pot in there.

I can hide. Yeah. You remember Rob Schneider and Adam Sandler? You can hide your weed in there, man. Yeah. Now it's not even. You were going to thrive with dad jokes well into your 60s. Yeah.

They're locked up. They're locked and loaded. Yeah. I also do love how coming into Collingswood here, you're driving by. I don't know if people know where you are. We list our location. We get multiple bomb threats a week. Cool.

Yeah, we also let people's portals to hell onto your podcast. They have my phone number and probably my address. He actually played on a major league soccer team phone number and probably my address. He actually played on a major league soccer team in Seattle for a few years. He's a former pro soccer player. Guys like him usually never lie

about things like that. No, they don't. He goes to med school and now he sees Portals to Hell. So I believe him. Also, his girlfriend goes to a different school in Canada.

You never met her. Yeah, she's a model though. Yeah. There we go. I do like how in Collinsville coming down here you see all the dads and I guess the moms too.

It's mostly dads and dads walking down the street that have bottles of wine because it's a BYO type of thing. It's the cutest town in America. Everyone just looks like it's fucking New Orleans or something only it's people that didn't have very fun lives because they got, I don't know, I don't know what they got going on. I mean, you can come at this podcast.

You can come at me. Don't come at me. That's gay come at me. Don't come at me. That's gay, dude. That's gay, though. You can't come on another guy, dude. Don't come at my damn town. I'll come all over this town. Fuck this gay town, dude.

I'll come all over this town. Brennan, if there's anything I know is you don't pull out, so no, you won't. Whoa. I come all up in town. I believe this man's dink out of this, dude. No, but in all sincerity, the first unsolved Mystery will be you guys being murdered by this fucking guy. This is going to backfire enormously. We're going to charge you guys with investigating it, and you're going to purposely leave it unsolved, which I can respect.

The second Unsolved Mystery is going to be who's the actual father of Brendan's kid. Whose kid is it anyway? Sorry, Drew Carey. He's six foot seven. You're like, I mean, listen. It skips a generation. It skips a generation. Your dad was five six you know

they say it skips up to six generations yeah there's never been a donagan in the line of your ancestors we are hobbits from generations afar so you guys are low to the ground it's like it's a biological advantage in some regards dude yeah yeah if you're like trying to get in a bunker if there's like a nuclear situation you eat. You do little things like that, dude. That's why you guys have strong calves. It's going to bear down, dude. You're close to the ground. Are you born with those?

Yes. Yeah? My dad had huge calves. My brother has huge calves. I have huge calves. It's genetic. My sister has huge calves. I know exactly what you mean.

I got tiny ankles and tiny wrists, and so does my dad. So do my uncles. We're all frail people. We have a lot of ankle braces Passed down from generation to generation My family That's the French in you though That's the Montague That's the Montague

That's why you have the tracksuit I like to keep a European household Is how I look at it You get the tracksuit, a little provolone You look a little thicker Instead I went with the Again, I'll mark it on here until Wawa sponsors us. This is the finest Wawa cheese.

The greatest compliment you can get. Compliment get out. I told you earlier what I had to go through to get this cheese to present it to you boys. I went to Wawa with my daughter. She got so excited. It was like, daddy, cheese. And I was like, no, no no That's daddy's cheese For his friends I love that your daughter

Is Colombian too Daddy cheese What do we get to find cheese Dude I can't wait Until your kid Has some stupid Speech impediment And I'm gonna have to

Go to your house And I'm gonna pretend I don't notice it Do you guys ever Have speech impediments And have to go to that class In elementary school I couldn't say swirl

How did you say it I would say swirl Swirl Like a swirl I couldn't pronounce it Swirl Yeah I was like Wait a second say swirl, swirl, like a swirl. I couldn't pronounce it. Squirrel. Yeah. I was like, wait a second.

I was like you. I know it was like I was in like kindergarten. I was like nine years old and I was like, this is fucking horse shit. And they just kept sending me to speech classes. I had a kid. Same thing in the speech class. Did you go to a private school? No, I went to public gen pop.

Sick. I went to listen. I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to have to rethink the structure of this. First off. Ew. I was not aware.. We're going to have to rethink the structure. First off, ew.

I was not aware. I went private four years, but then left that and then went back into Gem Pop. Fair. So they didn't send you out to a trailer? That's where we went for speech. I had to go to a trailer. We had a kid there. I think, same thing? Dude, they used to send you to the trailer. How disrespectful.

You guys went to Catholic school. You had nuns teaching you. No, we didn't. We just had mean older ladies with saggy but delicious boobs. You didn't have nuns? No nuns. We had a couple of nuns. No nuns, none? I had a couple. We had a couple of nuns.

Sister Janice. Wait, you had nuns in public school? No, I went to Catholic school for four years. Oh, okay. Yeah, it was a weird school. Yeah, there's just nuns there. They still called it trailer. It's like, I know it's in a trailer, but could you guys just call it something?

You know, it's called like the fun bus. Yeah, it sounds so much more trash. Tard Haven is what they would call it. Where are you going? Trailer. It's like, I might as well fucking learn. You get your schedule in summer and it's like room 103, 202 and then trailer. Yeah.

They send you the trailer first lesson. Here's how you hit a woman. Yeah, exactly. But so were you guys all trailer kids? I went to classes in trailers. I got trailed. You got trailers? I got trailed hard.

I had so many friends. They were so stupid. Trailed mix. Well, it was disrespectful on their part with the public school system. I should have been in all this stuff. They said temporary trailers, and they were there my entire fucking time of high school. There was never temporary. They're still there.

This was high school? High school, middle school? Nah, you're pushing them. I was in like first grade. I was cheating off the nerds and pre-calc in high school in that trailer no fooling yeah yep no you can't be in a trailer and in pre-calc we were in pre-calc and they're like hey we couldn't afford enough computers for the class so some of you have them some of you don't yeah they had computers out there i was like how the fuck is this operation working yeah just barely get the wi-fi in my house to work but in the

trailer it was no problem i I got in the trailer, I got out on early probation. I had good behavior. Yeah. Oh, this was a bad kid trailer. No, it was just like I

worked so hard that they let me out a little bit early. No. It's just a jail analogy. Okay. Fair. Got let out early.

Very fair. Good behavior. They let me out on bail. Good behavior. I count a couple of good test grades. You come back, you'd speak to them once a

year, they'd be like, you don't want to be like me, kids. You'd be stuck in this trailer. You come back, you'd speak to him once a year. He'd be like, you don't want to be like me, kids. You'd be stuck in this trailer. You're dressed like this. I did three semesters in trailer. You're like smoking, got a chain out here. It's a candy cigarette, though.

I pissed through a catheter now. They're like, how does that? What did that do? That's not a thing we did in here. I've seen some shit. Sister Mary Catherine? What a bitch. That woman does not trust my knowledge.

I'll tell you that much. It's like, again, why is that? The lunches. Guys, also, I think she lives in the trailer. Yeah, by all means. Which they should have. I mean, they were making $4.50 an hour. Are there still people going into nunnery and nunning or whatever?

Nunning. Yeah, the convent is, I believe, is not doing too hot these days. I watched an IG reel of a priest doing the gritty with two nuns. So apparently there's some out there. It's current. I feel like there's always nuns. They have to dress like it to go to a sports game. Are they actually nuns, or are they just dressing the part to get on the big screen?

Yeah, nuns love baseball games, like middle-of-the-summer day games. A nun loves that. Especially that whore from Loy loyola the chicago every march madness this lady just won't die mother theresa whoopi goldberg no no whoopi yeah mother theresa died a horrible painful death but who is the nun of the loyola chicago the march madness team yeah yeah they always show her they're like a 13 seat and they upset a few people and then this lady's like 98 years old it's like just fucking go down with your ship already lady yeah but that lady i didn't like her whatsoever that was a woman who swore celibacy her whole life and then watched a bunch of six four black dudes it was a squirt fest there

was no god involved there was no they had to put a popcorn bucket beneath her it was disgusting it was hard to watch the wheelchair they were like get a new wheelchair it's soaked i'm just glad we can talk about this on this program because we have more of a Christian truck driver podcast. We can't really talk about it. We have a Christian truck driving demographic. Okay, yeah, you guys are very like... And they don't want to hear that on that, so it's nice to let loose here. Yeah, please. It was like, you know, the nuns doing that,

man. It's like a priest if he was, I don't know, at a kid's thing. The kid's... How are we doing on time? We're almost done. We're on your podcast. We're 15 minutes in. One of my priests when I was in Catholic school

actually killed himself on Christmas Eve. We're all sitting there waiting for Christmas Eve mass and they come out. We'll put this out on the holidays. This is a holiday episode.

You were a holiday special last year, Brendan, where we got shit-faced for two and a half hours. I literally could not speak. I listened back that nobody was talking by the last 15 minutes.

One of the worst audio episodes of anything that's been put out. And mostly from just the way that I talk. But well needed. And it will happen again, by the way. We're bringing you guys back for another holiday episode. Whose idea was it that we should just get a place somewhere and just get a bunch of people? I think we should get an off-season

Airbnb down the shore. And just have a podcast weekend. Have us, maybe you guys, if you can learn some respect. Some other people. We need nobody else. This is going to be us four.

A couple others. Step one, make a couple friends. We got a lot of work to do, fellas. I'm trying to think. There are a few others. Got the gears going, though.

It doesn't matter if we did that thing alone. It's going to be a yucky adventure. Never. Ew. Yeah. Straight Edge podcast also. Of course.

I'm straight edge now, by the way. I've given up everything. Dude. Just kidding. Drink your coconut water and kiss me on the lips. It's not coconut water. It's regular water, and it's got more alkaline in it, so it's battery water. John, get me a drink, bitch. Yeah, somebody get us a white cloth.

I mean, you guys can go inside and get them yourself. What's up, John, the host here, everybody. Why would I actually do that? It's actually not a bad idea. Well, Brendan, you're closest to the door. I'm in there. Would you like me to maybe clean your kitchen for you a little bit? How many do we all need? I actually don't know if there's that many left.

All right, well... One. I will get one. I think there is one, maybe two left. This is great podcasting, by the way, guys. See if you guys can survive without me. If there's other alcohols in there. If there's anything else in there, grab me something, too. There's more Bud Lights outside.

So I've been trying to get rid of these Bud Lights. Two at one time? Yeah, it's natural. I've been trying to get rid of these Bud Lights. We have leftover Bud Light from my daughter's birthday party because I'm sober because I've given up to a higher power. And I gave Matt, like, a generosity of my heart, probably like eight, nine Bud Lights.

It was like gold to him. It meant a lot. It meant a lot. It's so fun giving beer to people because they're just like, oh, you didn't have to and you did. But, all right, so out of the greatest, my karma has been reset for a decade now. And I do all good things to get something out of it for myself.

That's why charity exists. We had a box of potato chips, like random little bags, left over from the party too. And I was like, we're never going to eat these. And if we do, I'm going to gain 20 pounds. So I grabbed the box of chips, threw four more Bud Lights in there, and gave them to a homeless dude over in Philly. It was great, too, because my wife was like, what if that guy had just hit rock bottom and he was sober

and you gave him beer? And I was like, hey, listen, not many people are sober that live under a bridge. I think he could get something for him. And if you are, why? You brought some cones? Mini cones, baby. I work for it. Come on, my brother bear.

Is that all we had left was two White Claws? Yes. All right. There's probably something else. You guys need more beverages? I brought some cones, though. What if I told you guys those were non-alcoholic white claws? Courtesies of Trish.

She gave me the whole sleeve of mini cones. She likes you guys. I've never seen these before. They're great when you have a kid and you pretend like your kid's going to eat them all, and then you eat seven. Toss me one of those. I ran today, dude. I'm having a good time.

Come on, son. Immediately before running, I did have a Wawa turkey and stuffing bowl, and I almost p, dude. I'm having a good time. Come on, son. Immediately before running, I did have a Wawa turkey and stuffing bowl, and I almost puked in my hotel gym. They always say you want to get a good half Thanksgiving meal in your stomach before running for the first time in 10 years. And I'll tell you what. I felt like I had to shit. Most blogs say that.

I came in with probably one of the 11 or 12 wateriest shits of all time right after that, and it was a tough. It's a real thing. You want to talk about squirting, dude? I'm like a nun at a Loyola basketball game. That's for darn tootin'. You know that old saying. You've heard that a ton.

Is she still alive? That bitch? That old bitch? Oh, my God, dude. She better not be by March Madness. I want her dead in one of those seats in the arena. Can I say that on here? You have...

I mean, she's one of those ladies who, like, publicly... Allegedly. I theoretically, hypothetically, if she is still alive, I had a dream about it. That's all I was referencing. Exactly. There's no real harm or threat. You're the only one that has hands for it at the pearly gate. She is still alive?

Fuck. Sister Jean, that's it. Now, who was the... Sister Jean is not my lover. I don't know who you're talking. 103? For the love of God give it up lady God bless and die that's simply too old that is too long

to go without fucking somebody she is 5 feet tall 5 foot even nice that sounds sounds about average genuinely

she has to be like literally she has to be one of the most bigoted people alive or she was the most progressive person in the 1930s and 40s which i doubt is true

i love that we found a 103 year old nurse to fucking talk some shit yeah we really have some some we go after people that need to be some people want to talk about jeffrey yeah what was what was her view on politics i need know. Was she an anti-vaxxer? She's got an Oz sign on her front yard in Chicago. John Fetterman touches kids. Dude, they gotta chill with these commercials. John Fetterman wears a hoodie. Dr. Oz is not a real wizard.

If your daughter was raped, the Dr. Oz one, if she was fucking raped, he wants her to carry her. John Fetterman single-handedly choked out 11 children last year. Dr. Oz looks like a sal salamander that's why i'm voting for him i was hoping at the end it's like this message is brought to you by and then it's something that just alludes to who they vote for it's like the sean schmetterman is really cool fun the one that has been running a lot of oz stuff is uh the unity against crime something or another it's like

oh who could that possibly be yeah they just basically tried to make a new way to say make america great again they're like return the way we were fun like the one was funds for doctors with the last name oz you know the worst part about the wizards of oz yeah how many they do that because 90 of the people just buy it. And they're like, oh, okay. It's a campaign organization that's just nonprofit doing these things to get people. And it's like there's only a handful of smart South Jersey people like us that are like, hey, you know what? These people are fucking pulling one over on us. True, and then I'm going to go, I forget what voting is, and I just don't do it.

Which is tomorrow as well. Nah. Never done it. Don't you dare promote voting on our podcast. We're not doing that. We're not going to walk out of here with that Public message Don't vote

I did see something funny the other day Wait I didn't bring this up last time I started a petition to end voting No more voting No one will sign it I just need a lot of participation We're taking a vote

Two great things I saw While running by the art museum the other day. First is for voting. I was running along and there was a lady that had very enormous breasts and just had a shirt on that said vote. You know how to lock a guy into a store. Right across the front of them. I'm interested. And I was just like, wow, that's marketing 101. It was just like, oh, voting.

Oh, the elections are coming up. I was like, how are we going to get this male demographic yeah then right after that i so i usually never go like in front of the art museum because it's always like clustered and everything but every once in a while when i do there's the rocky statue and i always want to like yell at the people i want to run by and just be like apollo died in the third one like it's a spoiler but this time i was like all right let me go run by him see what kind of idiots yeah that's the i'm spoiling it for somebody in that line i bet you there's some 11 year old that has never seen any of them somebody's watching rocky one right now he's gotta live forever dude

so let's a rockumentary people think that is a real guy so listen i'm i decided as a guy you know it's a nice day i'm gonna run in front of the art museum, see what's up. I see the line of people waiting at the Rocky statue. I get to the steps, and I'm like just messing with my playlist. I'm getting stuff ready, putting on the Rocky theme probably to run up the steps. I look over, and there's somebody getting out of a limo and walking up. And I see a bunch of people start to crowd around them. There was a group of people in Brazilian soccer jerseys. So I was like, oh, maybe it's brazilian dictator or something i don't know

and then i was like oh let me start going up the steps i look over and it's none other sly guy frank stallone's brother sylvester stallone wow at the rocky steps i won philadelphia bingo yesterday like that's damn that's like the number one thing what was he doing there it was just him and his plastic face looking wife and two pretty daughters his daughters are beautiful young women yes i don't know how they're right that's why i said they're pretty i have no clue there but then a crowd formed around them and he was just kind of like isn't this crazy i'm here like he didn't throw any fake by any like shadow boxing punches or anything i was like come on man that would suck so bad if he was shadow what hilarious is the thing it's like after he walked up to the top there's some people that showed up at the rocky statue afterwards and they didn't even know that the guy

they're waiting in line to get a picture in front of a statue meanwhile the actual dude oh my god is a hundred steps away yeah like you just like experience and if I went over to that line and I was like, guys, Rocky's actually up there. They'd be like, fuck you. Don't do that. And I'm like, alright. Those are Rocky movies for how successful they are. Because he wrote, directed, and starred

in them, right? Yeah. The first one, when you realize that he did everything in it. It makes sense because I guarantee... Who was it? I thought you said you went to Deptford. Oh, I thought you said you went to Deptford. Yeah, it was Deptford. It's like where you're from. Shout out to Detail.

They record a part of it at Deptford. I thought you were saying Deptford, New Jersey. I was like, that's sick. Oh, it was at the mall, dude? See, South Jersey. Us four South Jersey bad boys were like, we know that town. But like how much they, and I've always thought, they must have gotten like 30 minutes, like, you know, film done.

And they're like, why the fuck does he keep talking like that? Yeah. Nobody asked him to talk like that. I think Swire did porn before he... He absolutely did. You think he did? He was on the bank bus? You just said that the same way that every guy reacts whenever porn is brought up

around anyone's wife. You're like, oh yeah, I've heard of that. Is that the sex on camera type stuff? My friend told me about it. Anyway, back to gambling guys am i right what are the links where do you get your hands on that porn crap so i can throw it in the damn trash i want to know where not to go it's like the same way you find drugs right they should make a rocky statue of him fucking important sorry where would they put that though

where are they uh Art museum is perfect I think right next to the statue and let the people decide Which one do you want to keep? Do you think that rock or sly is a top or a bottom? Because that would dictate where he is on the steps I think the statue would be rock Right now he's at the bottom of the steps Rock, bang, and sly

Oh, kind of like a I've posed that question to people before If you were to time travel Let's say even just back like a month Give yourself a hand job Is that gay? Or is it just masturbation? Yeah that's definitely gay

Anytime there's two dudes involved Argue your case I think if a guy came from the future And we have all this technology We've worked all this time We've found a way to split the flight travel. And I just, I'm here to jerk you, dude. I'm here to just absolutely jerk you.

You know the first thing people are doing with time travel is all the worst shit. No one's, everyone's like, I'm going to go back and stop World War II. It's like, nah. Yeah. These people are going to go back and kill Hitler. No, you're like, well, first I'm going back to sixth grade and I'm telling Donna she was a bitch. I would be like Marty McFly. I'm going to place a couple of bets first and then I'll get to the other

shit. I want time travel when it first comes out to be put in the hands of just your average South Jersey guy outside of a Heritage's somewhere in Gloucester County. He has three different union numbers tattooed on his arm somewhere. Give that guy time travel.

That is an interesting question. He's just typing into the time travel. He's like, I don't know. No. Black. You're like, don't finish it. Don't finish it. I'm really thinking about this, my future self putting his hands on me.

I don't like it. Now think about this. You and your past self have to fight for who is the one that actually jerks the other one off i'll be like you got it i don't think that was how time travel where if you go back you don't clone yourself listen we're not following the rules well actually i'm just posing a question marty mcfly version you do you go you go back and see yourself yeah but so here's what i'm wondering wondering In that moment you are the guy That's doing the jerking

Because in the present moment So you're not feeling the effects You're thinking of it as like Oh well you're just jerking yourself off But no you're the one cranking a dude off You're just two guys Yeah but you're doing it the best Possible scenario ever

It's going to be the best handjob ever, right? I don't get joy out of being on not the receiving end of that. I don't like giving out handjobs. Listen, I don't have answers. I just pose questions. If it's not gay, why is it?

I think you'd like it. I just put it out there and you guys are the ones who are like, I'm not gay! There was a zeal in your eyes when you posed that question. I haven't given up any handjob. I would never jerk me off. But if it's not gay, why stop at the handjob? Why not just suck yourself off?

Yeah. And then it's like, wait a second, why aren't we banging? Why can't I just sit on my own dick and I'll dress as a big titty goth girl? And it's like, these aren't what I'm picturing that I would do to myself. But if I could. Big titty goth girl. Goth girl like these aren't what i'm picturing that i would do to myself but if i could goth girl goth like it was that phrase that i wish i've been looking out and like trying to think like can any of my neighbors hear that and i'm praying that's the phrase they heard big titty golf do you think they're gonna did he say goth or golf it's gotta be golf because if it's south jersey i would say golf like it golf like somebody who's very sad but also

do you guys want a fucking Bud Lay it's like a real nice 7-iron could you imagine the golf sweating so much she's wearing a trench coat she's an emo car girl yeah she's like

what can I get you guys you just want a hot dog but she still has that odd flirtiness that all car girls have to have now I'm just picturing Michelle Wee in a black skirt with black lipstick going with a 9-iron

stop we're all gonna come damn or else John's future self is gonna have to come trick him off for this too Now I'm just picturing Michelle Wee in a black skirt with black lipstick on with a nine iron. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. future use hair i didn't say you had to get romantic this could be i'm just not gonna sit there like purely researched there's an episode of that show the superhero show what is it called uh where they're all evil you know what i'm talking about on amazon the the boys oh yeah the one guy who's like evil superman he runs into that because the one uh guy's powers is he can clone

himself into being whoever yeah he blows himself right? I don't think he does. He doesn't do it, but he's posed with that situation. And as I'm watching, I'm like, that is disgusting. Oh, my God. And I think he kills the guy. I mean, spoiler, but. First Apollo. They tee it up, and it looks like he's into it.

He's going to do it. And as you're watching, you're going, something gross about that. Yeah, but what's gross about it is you're like, you're going, that's something gross about that. Yeah, but what's gross about it is you were like, maybe I'm that guy. Certainly not, dude. You think about the question as you pose.

You're like, hmm, is that me? I didn't take a stance either way. I just want to know. You took a stance. You were like, give yourself a handjob. Is it gay?

I'm like, how about just suck yourself off? Now would you make eye contact with yourself? That's what I'm saying. You have to show a little respect to your... Just imagine being a dick to your future self when he's like, hey man, it's good to see you.

And then he goes down there and... You're just trying to talk me out of it. I haven't said if I would or not. But I'm just saying. You're sitting like you know you would. You're the guy that poses the question of... It's a fun question to pose. I don't like this pose.

You know what I love? Very loosely. You know, where you're like, the guy that brings up how young is too young? We're like, I wonder why you're asking that. I do love though that like, centuries ago, it was like philosophers sitting around having important conversations.

Yeah, that's us, dude. And now we get to do this. We're like Aristotle. And this rules. Modern day Socrates. Yeah. Because we make millions of dollars to do both of our podcasts.

That's the thing that's embarrassing about starting comedy is like, you're so faking it until you make it where you're like not making any, like we we watch what all the successful people in this industry do and we're doing that but we're just not we're playing any we're emulating the backyard playing basketball right now so like i'm alan iverson yeah yeah you're on stage you're like i'm bill burr now yeah it's very embarrassing when you think of it yeah that's exactly it's actually a good analogy right now with podcasting.

Collectively, our podcasts don't have as much listeners as a fraction of the good podcasts. And then your girlfriend's like, how can you keep playing basketball in the driveway? And you're like, it takes a while to get involved in the clubs for the basketball. One day, I'm going to buy you a house with this basketball in the driveway, you dumb bitch. So you want to try to get to host at some of these basketball in the driveway shows and then eventually the late feature and everybody's like you know how fucking difficult it is to go pro and you're like yeah but then sometimes your friends see like an instagram story of you playing in the driveway they're like shit dude seems like it's going well and you're like well holy shit man you can get rim yeah yeah it's actually that you hit in crowd work

once a year you're like no you can do it and then they're like he's white i've touched it's a slow burn i like it this no, you can do it. And then they're like, he's white. I've touched rim. It's a slow burn. I like it. This is a tough one. You guys ever talk to people? I thought that was like you get butt sex once a year. Oh.

You made it sound like on your birthday you get rim. Must be a handsome idiots thing. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, dude, it is a handsome idiots thing, you two bastards. We do bits, baby. Why don't you guys talk about, oh, look at the news, guys. Hey, what the hell's going on? Actually, yeah, we gave Jay some articles.

Could you bring up the third one? No. The whole thing is no topic. Oh, we're South Jersey bad boys. We have a regimented schedule with segments. We have scripts. We got time slots. We only can spend 10 to 12 minutes on each one.

I'm going to do their podcast real quick. Hey, check out this video of a fat lady falling in a Walmart. Oh, no. That's honestly on here. I'm going to do their podcast real quick. Hey, check out this video of a fat lady falling in a Walmart. That looks really interesting and hilarious. It's the same Walmart that I delivered frozen spaghettios to someone in a hollowed out Bible. That was a humidor.

It was hot dogs and that kid enjoyed it and sent me a video eating them after. You're doing exactly what Chris Hansen is doing. You're luring in people with special needs and taking advantage of them. Yeah, but that's comedy in 2022. I love that your one credit is a fan of yours once sent you a video of him eating hot dogs. We're all hot dogs after two underage girls in the back of his truck. I got a new segment.

No, I don't remember that, Dan. You drove us there. Your plates are on the video. Old Brenda Roney's got a segment. What is it? It's a new segment. Ready? Just hear me No, I don't remember that, Dan. I don't want to be You drove us there. Your plates are on the video. Old Brenda Roney's got a segment. What is it? It's a new segment. Ready? Just hear me out

because I don't know. I think it's called Being Tall. Listen, I say that we get a bunch of comedians. We got to start somewhere, right? We get a bunch of comedians. We golf.

We're really bad at it. We film it. Nice. And that's it. You know what? Well, somebody just got themselves scratched off the list for season three. We film it. That's it. Somebody just got themselves scratched off for season three. You just got hack scratched? That sucks.

Tune in if you want to see shitty golfers that don't golf, golf. Yeah, dude. That's actually the whole premise of the show, Brandon. You nailed it. That's crap, dude. I'm really so fucking good at stand-up. Genuinely. When's the last time you've done a couple years or are you out of your fucking complete mind dude is this a whole one big hot sexy joke to you guys yeah as if all four of us aren't going to be at the lindenwald moose this saturday

that's true i'll be cutting it close i gotta come to a quick spot we're gonna put this podcast out before saturday that's what I was just about to ask. Maybe we're going to sandbag it. Maybe we don't want that moose lawsuit. We should get the word out about the moose because it's going to be wild. I've been spreading the word to cousins, aunts, uncles. Yeah. It's going to be wild in there.

It's right on the White Horse Pike. I noticed it said donation. Can you just elect to not donate and just show up at the show for free? Oh, yeah, true. This is very specific wording Where we had to go back and forth With the wording on there And it's like, no, no, no

We can't say tickets or purchase We can't say comedy Because what you guys do Really isn't that great So they had to be very specific about the words I had to go to a meeting for this place To actually pitch the show It's through a family member

That is there on Rachel's side Not my side Dan's wife is a moose. Yeah. So we go there and they literally... Careful. Careful, John. I would describe her more in the elk family. She is huge. Your wife is...

It's a problem. She's a big old broad. Dan's going to shoot her and hang her on the wall. Yeah. It's a little better when we're making fun of each other's podcast. Now, if I were to to taxi during my wife or consider it i wouldn't waste it by putting her on the wall with her bust she's not busty as it is all right we just got a little off track when when she goes back because she actually funds this podcast i don't know if any viewers out here the original producer yeah very true yeah yep she is the producer. She was a little upset that she wasn't on here.

Well, she lacked cameras and microphones. That was it. Other than that, she had a great resume. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Just we needed those things. So I had to go to the meeting at the Moose, right?

So we're going into the meeting, and they actually took their version of a Pledge of Allegiance, but instead of putting your hand here, you had to put both of your hands on your head. You got a fucking bowling club. You had to look at the Moose that's on the wall serious if you don't think i'm not doing half of my set like this you're fucking crazy they they had a legitimate thing like that where you had to like actually like instead of saying a pledge of allegiance you had to like say their thing but what is the moose on the wall i don't know it's like their own like i'm sure they have

a card there like no juice we're lucky we're getting a couple blacks in here it's gonna be wild it's gonna be look dude i'm half yeah they're gonna be looking around going did you know about this it seems awful is this what the hawaiians are up to this i was gonna got a culture have you i've gotta look up the moose national anthem yeah pledge of legion look up there there uh i don't know it's not a prayer it's a statement afraid i don't know, it's not a prayer. It's a statement of, I don't know what it is, but you have to say it getting initiated into the thing.

And then I'm sure you guys have friends like this where you invite like casual comedy fans who are like, yeah, I like comedy. I like Dave Chappell and Burt Krishner.

Do you guys like those? So like I go in there and they're like, oh, so like. They're two of my favorites. For real. You know who I like? Fluffy.

Fluffy. You see this guy Fluffy? I like his old stuff better here's your sign he's got this bit about being fat like a big fat guy he's got this long bit about being a big fat guy he's being fat but what a weird no but this one he's in a hawaiian shirt and his stepson's a fucking idiot he's also he's he's the kind of fat where like the sides of his feet touch the floor while his entire sole of his foot is still on the floor. It's like a fat-tongue sneaker guy fat.

They're going to find him dead in a hotel room. Everyone's going to be like, how did it happen? It's like, yeah. The writing was on his skin. A lot of empanadas. By all means, Fluffy, please let us open. Isn't that crazy that the stuff that you see, Fluffy selling out Dodger Stadium. You got fucking Jeff Dunham with his puppets selling out arenas every single year.

He's got 13 Netflix specials. And we can't sell out the goddamn Moose. Not yet. Don't speak to him. Not yet. The donations are going to be rolling in, folks. Once John gets the word out to his cousins. Hold Moose Heart and Moosehaven

in the hollow of your hand and let your blessing rest upon the children and seniors entrusted to our care. Be with us in our homes and watch over us as our loved ones give us wisdom

and understanding and to you all the power and glory Forever and ever Amen It says do this Alright perfect I think actually when you read this I can't wait to get beat up by a bunch of mooses

No most of those guys are just vets with one leg Most of those guys No but I think you just read something from a cult Some more insulin One of those cult? No, but I think you just read something from a cult. Brendan's going to need some more insulin. One of those cults, like an Eyes Wide Shut thing where you wear the goat head and you have a blood sacrifice. I'm getting this printed on a shirt and I'm wearing it on Friday night. Do you know the plural for moose is meese?

I didn't care. I'm not doing the show. I just love Hold, Moose Heart, and Moose Haven. Do you think Moose Heart are the men and the Moosehaven are the ladies? I would go clubbing at Moosehaven. Moosehaven, yeah. Yeah, that's probably a nice place to get a compliment from an older woman. Mooseheart sounds like a ski lodge where a bunch of executives definitely banged underage women.

That's what I'm saying. There's a lot of meetings between Obama and Jeffrey Epstein that's happened at the Moose Lodge. The vibe that I've... Yeah, it's the moose. The vibe that I've gotten from this place's the moose. A moose is, yeah, six foot one. The vibe that I've gotten from this place, it's going to be interesting

for the show because it's a place where guys go to get away from their wives, but now the wives, see, there's a comedy show that they can go to. Oh, we're in a gay bar?

So they're going to be coming... No, no, we would be loving it if it was a fucking gay bar. Yeah. Now the wives are going to be coming in and the disgruntled guys at the bar paying $2

for a yingling are going to be like, what the fuck? All the broads are around. Oh, yeah, because this is the same as like the Elks, right? You get your membership, and then you go pay dollar beers, and you get shit-faced with the boys.

Yeah, so it's cheap beer. They're going to be hammered. Yeah. Yeah, it's like $2 Yingers. It amazes me these things still exist. I don't know who's joining it, because the only way you get into it. No, I can tell you the exact bros that I grew up with. R.H. Suther.

Yeah, it's all the guys I'm still friends with, but didn't move out of the town that we all grew up in. They still go back to the football games. Wait, guys your age are in this? No, but I'm saying I can picture the kind of guy that's probably in this. It's got to be. I don't know anyone, but I bet you if I ask 10 specific people I'm thinking about, I bet you at least two are in some kind of thing like that.

It's not hard. I mean, you ask any guy who's like 60 or above what he thinks about his wife, and it'll kind of add up on why he's not around her very often. This is just the same people that are also... He's like, I'd hit her, but jail's expensive. It's the same people that are also mummers. That's coming up, mummer season.

Oh, I fucking love the mummer. I've been a mummer six years. Actually, I did work... You mummed? I did. I've mummed years. Oh, I fucking love the mummer. I've been in the mummer six years. Actually, I did. You mummed? I did. Six. I've mummed years. You mummed years.

I've done probably four years. Really? Of mummers, yeah. Really? Like in the winches where I was at? Down in the trenches with the winches?

Yeah, I think in the winches. That was in the froggy car. Spears, Spears Strutters. Cool, we'll do our podcast over here. Fuck. Aren't the mummers

fucking stupid? Me and Dan just started making it. We got closer and closer. It's like, wait wait you're in the mummer still you realize you already did you're like yeah one time i even kissed a guy in blue face paint and he's like whoa one time i wore blue face paint no we wore black your future selves come back and it's a force you two in mummer suits pop through a portal in my

porch right now could you imagine the guy' heads that would explode down there? If we put black face paint on but then started making out, they would be so thrown the fuck off. So many decisions need to be made in such a quick second. There were guys that always showed up to do it, and they wore the black face paint. They would put little orange here. They're like, what?

It's the Flyers colors. And then people lose their mind. It's like they were like the instigators back in the 60s in middle school when they wanted to cause a ruckus. You know how my grandparents owned flyers, allegedly. I only did it because they're so easy to get into. You just show up. I always tell you I hate Hextaws.

You just show up at the Mummer's Club on Thanksgiving Eve. You pay $200. You get the suit. The suits are handmade by a woman in Wildwood. We can all go over there and get it. And then it was in Froggy Car, 800 people. I want to go meet the lady in Wildwood. That lady has forever had an un-ashed cigarette hanging out of her mouth.

The suits that you get, they're suits, not costumes. They're suits. They literally smell like cigarettes, like smoke. They have to. I couldn't do it anymore. It was so much it is you got to wake up at 6 a.m on new year's day you just like it's such a task yeah you got it for phl 17 oh wow i actually got on i actually got on the home page of philly voice the one year

i got the shit thrown at me i had people commenting on my facebook it was a whole thing i it was the year 2017 new year's day it was after the election happened and every every year i made i printed out at staples that was matt's favorite one of the best days that i've ever had i was probably mumbling it was five by five five foot by five foot like massive thing that i put on a broomstick so i could go down the parade route and every camera would get me i did every single year did something different it would always get on the news this year but you always had a swastika on it the back of it had a swastika with uh mayor kenny or mayor nutter's face right in the middle and it has like a hole yes yeah yeah so but on the front this year i put the old rocky apollo do you remember the crying jordan meme yeah michael jordan crying i photoshopped

that and hillary clinton We all have the internet. I didn't know. When was the last time you dialed up in there? Let's go, dude. You're so old and stupid. We can return one of the podcast members. That's on our side now. Slowly but surely.

He's a South Jersey bad boy. Your age is the same as their minute mark for the podcast. 37. If you need me, I'll just be out here taking a nap on my bed. It all went according to plan. I got to make a public apology. That was wrong of me, dude.

That was wrong. That was wrong of me. They got me with an age joke. We got to invest in our morals and values. No, no, continue. Keep talking about the cute mummer story. We're going to talk about the mummer. So I had Crying Jordan

on Hillary Clinton's face, right? We're going up to the judging area. Yeah, we all have Reddit, Dan. So this lady comes up to me who was an official at the parade, and she told me I needed to take down my sign, and they wouldn't let me through the judging area because of that. And they said it's racist that you have Hillary Clinton portrayed as a black man. I was like, that's Michael Jordan. That's the opposite. And then the guy standing there with her and a police officer was laughing.

These two were like, that's not Michael Jordan. I was like like that's a crying Jordan mean they're like we've never heard of it I pulled up Wikipedia and we're standing in the middle of the mummers parade route and I'm showing them my phone and they just they told me that I couldn't do it the police officer's laughing I started arguing I posted about it Philly voice put it on the front page of your thing people said I had a drug problem it was a whole thing which half of it was true. You just went 400 miles an hour. I know. It's just a coke. I'm coming off the end of it here.

It's the only time where alcoholics get treated like absolute celebrities. It is, actually. They put them all on the TV. So many aunts and mamams are so excited to kiss you guys on the cheeks. Can I get a picture with you? And I'm like, all I did was get fucked up and put on a dress today. That's what happened all the time. People are like, yeah, can I?

It's like, I just put on this dress and got hammered. Just like any other day. But can you go out the night before? Is it like, do you actually go out for New Year's Eve? You don't because you've got to get up at like 5 a.m. Yeah, because then also the after party. You go all day. The after party is on 2 Street.

You go all day. If you're going to 2 Street, so that I've gone to. My buddy lives right off 2 Street. That's wild down there. That's insane. So he lives close enough. His house is right next to a real famous pea spot for the 2 Street party. It's like a back alley.

So he's multiple times walked downstairs during a party, and there's just a mummer passed out on his couch. And he's like, does anyone know this mummer? He's like, perfect. Can anyone claim this mummer? I was there a couple of days. His name's Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah.

Well, I mean, we do have a distant relation in my family bloodline. Oh, that's right. All right, cool. We'll keep cooking. You guys good to keep going? Wait, what's your Dahmer situation? My wife's maiden name is Dahmer. Wait, is it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. So can I show you guys A couple videos A couple VHS's inside We could Yeah actually

We could sit down I had no idea where you were going Don't look to the side of the bed Did you guys all watch the Dahmer thing? Yeah We're the last podcast to talk about it He was the gay guy right? That's a funny way to identify him

Is that he's the gay guy Well that was the whole thing They put it out They listed it on Netflix In the LGBTQ category and then they got pissed off and then

they got taken off and then I think people were mad understandably so that they tried to be like this is a gay thing you're like

no it's a murderer thing no but here's my thing they made 12 years a slave under sports if you want to take if you want to take right right there if you want to take the rainbow and the word you want to take uh the rainbow and the word pride

you have to also take the good with the bad when it comes you can't just celebrate the great gay dude true you gotta celebrate the bad boys too see south jersey bad boys right here there's some milwaukee bad boys little jeff up there i'm trying to think of like a better example though it's like you're marketing just a component like the the main thing is dommer is a serial killer yeah you know what i mean so that should be under it's like true crime horror anything but it is hilarious it'd be like yeah it's also funny that anyone cares like if you turned on something let's say this is where it's gonna get weird let's say there's a section that i won't even say there's a white there there's an irish film section yeah and then you go in there and you're like whoa braveheart scottish yeah i gotta write a letter to netflix like well that's the thing with those is that like i'm sure it was

a handful of people on twitter but they get like you know crazy amounts of that's yeah that's it i mean it's always the you said the last episode quietest person is the loud. I mean, it's always the, you said it last episode, quietest person. Is the loudest in the room. Is the loudest in the room. It's the one everybody's listening to. Sometimes the loudest person in the room is the loudest person in the room. Yeah. And you can't help but hear all the bullshit. Well, that's what happened.

Take that, Twitter. Most of the time, it's the loudest person in the room is the loudest person in the room. You know what I mean? Yeah. They always get what they want. Yeah, but sometimes they're pretty silly. Trump being the loudest guy in the room. Let's just do it so it'll shut the hell up. And he's been wildly successful. Big Trump has kind of done A silly like Trump being the loudest guy in the room let's just do it so it'll shut the hell up

and he's been wildly successful big Trump has kind of done A-OK by being the loudest guy in the room he's probably gonna do it again he probably might he's gonna run

with fucking Dahmer's estranged sister and they're gonna do it 2024 is he gonna run again? genuine question yeah for sure he's already attacking

Ron DeSantis did you see that? oh really? he called I don't even know what the word means but he calls him Ron DeSanctimonious

what's sanctimonious mean? I don't even know what that word means, but he calls him Ron DeSanctimonious. What's sanctimonious mean? I don't even know what that means. Oh, that's a tough one for being a sancton. Sanctimony is like have some sanctimony. Use it in a sentence. Did you hear him during that? Look at all this sanctimony. We're having tons of sanctimony. Billions and billions.

Did you hear him during that speech, though? His way of saying that they weren't going to elect DeSantis was that, yeah, he's actually going to run for governor in florida again you guys will vote for him so he's trying to get him to be governor and not run for president and that's just his like sly way of just giving another thing the governor debate the guy was like are you gonna do four years in florida just like no dude that's if you if people start doing like that response in debates i'll tune into every single one he should, I mean, they should really kind of ham it up a little bit.

I wish they could just maybe include him in the debates just to like, you know, because then I will watch because he makes it exciting. That'd be funny

if he runs for like a shitty state governor. Like he just like goes from president to like very low levels. He's like a mayor of like a who cares town. Well,

let him be that boxer that's like really good but never really made it but he's always the guy that everyone goes to for a tune-up fight. Like, let him be that boxer that's really good but never really made it, but he's always the guy that everyone goes to for a tune-up fight. Let all those Republican guys debate him as a tune-up, and then

they'll just go cooking, but you don't let him win. There's a rule. No, you don't get to win, but you get all the air time you want. That's all he wants is more TV time. Yeah. God, we got to stop with these old guys like we do enough dude dude you're done you did it biden you're done you did it neither of you should i've said

before if there's a minimum age you have to be to be president then that should be a match should be a maximum and it should be just 39 yeah like our just like cool dudes our grandparents you know at a certain point can't drive yeah certain a certain point, you can't run the country. Somebody's got a good joke where they're like, you shouldn't be allowed to be a president if I'm nervous that you're my Uber driver. Yeah, that's a great point. I guess that might be actually a racist thing too now that I think about that. I didn't realize the angle the guy was going.

That's a great point. Some old people can't even ride bikes and they still lead the country. Look at it this way though. I hate both sides. Let me reiterate that. People can't even ride bikes, and they still lead the country. Look at it this way, though. We're only a few years. I hate both sides. Let me reiterate that. We're only a few years away before one of the first presidential candidates. That would be a good idea, too.

Robocop president. True. That could be his job. Callback. Well, a few years away from somebody that is going to have all of the history from their entire social media scrubbed for presidential stuff. Because what's the age? 35?

Yeah. So like you're 40. So right now there's no one from 35 to 17 that could run for president. So there's going to be a gap. Because everybody deleted their MySpace profiles, right? Have you guys logged in and done that? No. Mine's still out there.

I think you can probably still see my top eight. So if you ran for office, somebody would find your top eight. They would see porn stars in it. It's MySpace.com slash Jimmy Jimerson. I don't know why I made that my name, but look it up. Fuck. We're going to go find that. We're going to see what his song on his profile was.

It was probably some My Chemical Romance. And that's more embarrassing. No, no. I'm older than that. You were. Good Charlotte. It was post Good Charlotte, pre. It was probably the Get Up Kids.

You were 45 when you made that MySpace. Yeah. So that's your old name. Yeah. I was just on myspace the other day actually uh it's homecoming weekends uh surfing the web yeah just surfing the web you know kids well i read wait what i read that this is gonna sound really fucked but i i read that kids are starting to go back to myspace because all their parents are on instagram facebook it trickles down

so now they're going back to myspace i was like let me see what myspace is like these days dude that is the shittiest advertisement for myspace so lying nobody's going back to MySpace. I was like, let me see what MySpace is like these days. Dude, that is the shittiest advertisement for MySpace. So lying. Nobody's going back to MySpace or a startup. I've noticed people are going back to Zynga LiveJournal. You guys better hop on MySpace before they flood. I literally saw that too. I just bought a Zune.

Yeah, what the? Apple's flooding. Guys, check it out. Moon Shoes. Remember these? I had a knockoff Zune. Remember Zunes? I had a knockoff version.

What'd you have? It was like a Zune, but it was like, remember? I had a chocolate. Zune. Remember Zunes? I had a knockoff version. What'd you have? It was like a Zune, but it was like... I had a chocolate, and it was LG chocolate. I can tell by the tracks that you got a chocolate. Adele, MP3 player. Adele, before she started singing, she was making MP3 players. Before she was body shaming people.

All I wanted was an iPod, and I always got a knockoff MP3 that sucked. You couldn't spin the fucking wheel on the iPod and hear the clicks. You got one that had a manual. And that was so gratifying. It felt great. It did. I constantly had a BlackBerry instead of an iPhone all the way through college, so everybody

could hear me texting. They were like, divorced man. You quit fucking clickety-clacking? Yeah, I was just sending emails and documents. He was getting the BlackBerry as a child, too. I had the Razor through most of college. Dude, I had the Slide Razor, too. Those were the shit.

No, I had the... I had a knockoff of slide razor too those were the shit no i had the i'd had like a knockoff of everything too like the crazer i had which is a small thick version of it that's a tough one like tmi and word or whatever remember that was like type it for you yeah t9 i don't know t9 texting oh yeah i would always say the wrong i would always say like nudes i would be like oh don't say that crap what the hell remember how good you got at t9 text you were just rapping yeah i used to be able to text Matt Damon in the Departed in my pocket, not even looking.

When you were in school? I didn't even need to proofread. I was like, that's so accurate. I got that message out clean. You're just texting your boy Blurpnik 79999. You read it back. It's just a Joe Biden sentence. Every day I'm going around school.

That's a great reference to a bad day when they reported his pocket. Dude, it's Fetterman saying, hello, good night. Did you see that? Oh, yeah, that was amazing. That's the coolest thing you could do. I'm going to start saying that to people in show plays. Be like, I'd see you, man. Good afternoon, good evening.

Yeah. My thumb was so strong from T9 Texan, I would finger girls with my thumb. Really? Yeah, I would just like go like this. You would lift them? you would like simba them but you've been from the bottom up right thumbs up seven up yeah did you just text my mom sos on my vagina fun story i actually when i was back from college one time uh there was a girl thumbing girl yeah just a girl that i did it to she um wasn't sure about her sexuality 100 of the way so she asked me like she never like did anything with a dude. So like she's

known me for a while. So she's like, how about you come over? We fuck and then I'll figure out if I'm gay or not. And I was like full one. She's a lesbian. She's married now. So yeah, he took his pants off and she was like gay. Yeah, wow. Yeah, you know what? Let's not even do this. I know never been drier.

I I odor one though because I cheated off of when we had computers in algebra class. The password to log into your portal where you did all your homework, your initials, and the last four of your home phone number. I knew everyone's fucking phone number. I logged in there. Yeah, you did. I logged in there. I heard shit.

Took all the answers down. I went into my side. You look like a guy that knows the phone number. Yeah. I still know everybody's fucking phone numbers. I knew our fucking hotline phone number it was like so nine dude just you was like an 11 year old sitting indian style going through a yellow book i want 100 hit the same beer every just yeah like you get out where it's just like

a thing of cereal and a thing of milk and you're just and you're doing you're doing like excited fat kid fingers yeah oh donna's listed yeah i do do that with my fingers when a fresh box of donuts comes home. Oh, you're calling girls donuts now? Yeah, yeah. Ooh, Krispy Kremes. Learning weird facts. The mayor of Hamilton had a DUI 10 years ago. I'll talk about that tonight.

I never put this together. I think I have autism. You have gossip autism. You got goss-tism, dude. Actually, that's what Ryan Gosling has. That's why his one eye looks that way. By the way, not that good looking of a guy. No, he's not.

Did you ever see the breakdown of Gosling's face? His one eye is like three inches higher than the other one. It's crazy. People say I look like Harry Styles' retarded younger brother, Gary Styles. That's just a long way to get to them wanting to say Gary Styles because you look nothing nothing like that dude people say no i see you look more like gary style not even remotely what's the female mma fighter that you look exactly like oh the chick that i can't even say her name but it's it's rose rose mcgowan that's who you look like rose mcgowan isn't that oh no no i

was thinking of the girl from titanic that was rose the female mma fighter exactly like it's amazing i'm gonna look her up i've posted brendan mma fighter i've posted this woman you do side by sides of me and her and people are like dude this is oh i remember mike cannon one time messaged me he was like this is unreal dude quick name drop yeah oh oh did he message you one time messaged me. He was like, this is unreal. Dude, quick name drop. Oh, did he message you one time? Just because we're not even that close. He messaged me one time and he was like, delete my number. We're not even friends.

He felt the need to message me and be like, this is 100%. Or did he think you were that girl and he was sliding in towards the end and he's like, fuck. He's like, let me thumb you, baby. Rose Namajunas. This is her. She's world champ, I think.

That's what Kanye was saying. Namajus, man. That's her on the left. Yeah, I could totally see that. You pulled me up in high school with a shaved head. You got pointy sideburns in it, too. Don't you remember seeing that? I'll find it on your Instagram while we keep chatting.

What a terrifying dame. Jesus. Do you think you could kick any MMA girl's ass? There's a question. How weird would it be to... Now, it's a girl, but she looks exactly like you. To do what? How weird would that be? To choke you

out or to get a handjob? To do sex in. To do sex in? Yeah. Wait, you don't get choked out? I'd pay for women to choke me out right now. Yeah, I'm actually going to the Motel 6 Up on 73 after this That would be Having sex with yourself would be

Because just Both of us being like Did you come Did you actually Did you hate it Dave I don't want to look in my eyes He makes himself blow himself

True He makes himself blow himself on Dave True It's pretty awesome Yeah He's like in a dream world And he's like That is pretty awesome John Alright's like in a dream world and he's like well that is pretty awesome john all right sorry to get a program that is a good show should we tell them

about the 4k fucking virtual reality goggles because this shit's gonna blow your fucking minds what is this i mean i need to maybe you know keep that is this in is this have to do with the the toilet portal your friend has in Arizona? What is it? Oh, no, no, no. That was a demon portal to hell in his closet. I still have those photos, by the way, that we should imagine. All I'm going to say is that I got myself a hold of it. I'll keep this exclusive to myself. I got a hold of some oculuses.

What a wild thing to ever start a sentence with. I'll keep this exclusive to myself. I don't want to drag Brendan into this or any of the other men that were doing this at my house. I was going to say, we got to keep this exclusive to the group because this is some wild technology. Isn't plural of Oculus, Oculi? I think so. I'm so smart.

Thank God we clarified. You put these suckers on, all you got to do... I don't want you out there looking like a fool. You can get a free trial of the VR porn on Pornhub for like a day. No money down. Got to put in some credit card numbers, but cancel it. So that should be read. We saw some tutorials of it.

So you absolutely pull up big Latina MILFs, and you put on some videos, and all of a sudden, you're going, and it's like real life. Like all of a sudden, you have a big stinking cock, and there's this woman that comes, and you're looking around the house. Do you do a BSC like that? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, would you pull up the Sunday Instagram for it? Oh, yeah. Is that not her? I wish I had the side by side did you did yeah yeah yeah no let's go back to who cut your hair in high school listen dude i uh this is i mean it's gonna be the uh

the episode art i can tell you that much there's an american flag reflected in the background too to show much of patriot at what concert it's Sesquicentennial Bank. XTU. XTU probably, right? No, but close. Aaron Carter. No. Oh, yeah. Thanks for everything. It's the one that's there every... I did too, yeah. It's the main one. The main one? What the fuck?

Dave Matthews. I was going to say Dave Matthews or Jimmy Buffett. All right. Now, you guys both had your ears pierced? Yeah Did you go to a cute place in the mall and get it? I went to Claire's in the Burlington Center When you got home what did your dad say?

My dad totally thought I was gay He was like I can't believe you Did you prove him right and you're like watch this dad I'm going to blow myself from the future Look how gay I am My dad actually did ask me And then I was just like no no I lost a bet in college I was home on fall break

He's like good because if you ever came out of the closet I'd tell you to go right the fuck back in He's more ashamed that you're a bad gambler He's like wow you lost a fucking shitty bet What a weird sentence to say though How do you go back in the closet Like if you were to come out of it Turn around get back in

My dad was going to physically lock him in a closet. Literally in a closet. If he told me to go back in the closet, I would turn around with the most like diva hand snap, turn right around and just walk right back in. You didn't deserve me, Pop. You know what bet I lost? You could not contain this guy. Fuck.

You know what bet I fucking. Not these lawnmowers, brother. The lawnmower. The lawnmower. I have dyslexia. I just noticed. I started. I fucking hate that shirt.

But go ahead. That makes me so upset yeah I feel like we just we just caught a second we're cooking now we're really fucking sorry so the bet that I lost the how I got the ears pierced was a kid in my college uh didn't live in my dorm but he had a betta fish fighting ring and he bought like 12 betta fish and put them in one tank and everybody bet on a fish yeah yeah and the first one to go, so I had to get my ears pierced. My friends and I have also done a betta fish thing. Is this just PA?

No, I went to college in PA and we also did it in a tub. Ours didn't work. The betta fish thing. One of my friends died in a drunk driving accident. That was the betta fish thing, guys. That's actually more fucked up than us killing betta fish From a PetSmart at large

Me and my friends did a worse Thing that I can't I'll have to disclose off the pod Because it was a hate crime? Unsolved hate crime instead of unsolved mystery There's no law saying The betta fish situation Not a Mike Vick situation

There's no law saying Brendan can't put his penis in a snake's mouth. There's just things suggesting you shouldn't. Yes. I mean, that's the perfect...