That Rules Podcast - Episode #8: S.E.A.L. TEAM SICK

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Little bit of illness may delay the Idiots but it will not stop them! Back at it and doing the damn thing! Use promo code IDIOT at www.shamrocksun.com for 10% off

🎵 We're back again, and we're back again with our beautiful, phenomenal good friends, Johnny Matzabal, our good friends from Shamrock Sun. Shamrock Sun, this episode, this very episode, the what, eighth good friends from Shamrock Sun. Shamrock Sun. This episode, this very episode, the what, eighth? Episode eight now, yeah. The eighth and final episode. Still the final. This one's brought to you by Shamrock Sun.

I could tell you. I could tell just you this, John. Only you, but I'll tell our listeners too. When I go to the shore, personally, as a pale ginger male, pale ginger male, I never remember to stop at the pharmacy to buy sunscreen. And I always end up looking like Larry the Lobster. Red, sunburnt, pain, pale ginger. Delicious if dipped in butter.

Yeah, really, actually. That's one of my biggest traits. Great on a hot dog bun. That's probably one of the truest things you've ever said. But I go to buy sunscreen, and I always end up looking like Larry Lobster. But with Shamrock Sun, I will be getting their big-ass bottles, TM, of sunscreen delivered right to my door via subscription. I mean, does it get any easier than you come home after a long day, and there's just sunscreen right at your doorstep staring at you, smiling at you? People are calling it the Netflix of sunscreen.

I've heard that. I've heard that. And Blockbuster was whatever that sunscreen was with the little girl's butt on it. What was that called? Coppertone. That always weirded me out. No good. Don't do that.

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We're coming to you live from the living room. The smash pad. I don't know what you'd call this place it's apparently you'd call it the smash no like zach's half of it is the smash pad yours is the you know devout boyfriend a lot of people call it the lily flower my side of the room oh the lily pad i like that yeah oh that's better lily pad how did you not come up with that one the lily flower was right there i use tampons not pads so we're coming back i'm uh i'm heavily hydrated uh coming off of a weekend of being hunkered down sick with the family uh all three of us the baby the wife and i all sick i started just trying to do push-ups to get through the weekend. Oh, there he is. And then I started jokingly calling us SEAL Team Sick,

which I want to be perfectly honest with you, might be the best joke I've ever written. It's up there. I probably stole it. It's probably been used a million different times. Yeah. SEAL Team Sick was in full effect. I did push-ups to get through the weekend.

Yeah. It doesn't show. I've never felt weaker in the chest. Yeah. Both cough, cold, and yeah. weekend yeah it doesn't show I've never felt weaker in the chest yeah both cough cold and yeah I walked in here with three containers of liquid we had an energy boy we had a bottle of water and we're going back with the back to this episode one throwback the throat coat teeth now with echinacea bang bang and

folks you might be saying I hope John didn't wink at you when he said that but unfortunately he didn't even say a word like, I hope John didn't wink at you when he said that, but unfortunately he did. I don't think you can say a word like Echinacea and not wink at somebody. That, I actually played in basketball with a kid with that name. Echinacea Johnson. He's really good. You can fill in what he looked like, everyone. Yeah, you can guess. Really big Indian kid.

Yeah, but coming off of being sick, I, not, it's, so not sick enough where you're gonna get it or listeners you're fine should be okay um i don't know if you know how illness works doesn't travel through the airwaves yet yet allegedly yeah thanks covid uh delta four may who knows um that was like the big worry i thought i had covid for now the third time you had it three times i i've had it once confirmed you and i had at the same time from mouth kissing that's right and uh i think i had it right before i'm og covid really um before it really before covid hit the scene i was into covid when it's like on vinyl i was collecting it that's might not even be good but yeah i had covid uh i was in california like right before when there was just like inklings and talking of

oh, there's this thing in China. I landed in California for work and like we got off the plane and there was enough people in masks that weren't Asian that you were like, oh, something's different. And I spent a weekend there and I spent a week, had to spend the weekend

and then ended up going to San Diego which I was supposed to continue for another week of work. I didn't leave the hotel room for three days. I was hallucinating. It was, I don't know. Edibles, yeah. Yeah, I wish it was edibles. If it was edibles, that would be great.

I need to take it back a few milligrams. So I'm going to say I had it then. Then I definitely had it. And now I don't know if I just had it. Who knows? But they say when you get the vax, it can't be that bad. There's a quick call from Chris. Well, yeah, I'm going to. And now I don't know if I just had it. Who knows? But they say when you get the vax, it can't be that bad. There's a quick call for breath. Well, yeah, I'm going to.

I can't stop. The worst part of this one is, and again, I don't think it's COVID, but my ears have been really congested. So I haven't been able to hear anything. Is that waxy? No, it's not. That's like the, I guess, like your nasal cavity when it swells. You know, like ear, nose and throat's all connected. Oh, the doctor.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes. over here is nose and throat I guess we're all connected so like when your sinuses are clogged up your ears it's like you're on a plane I have that fear constantly the past four days yeah so like it's been the best relief like when that clears it's like it's an eargasm you do a nose pinch and then like a push? So I've been doing like jaw click. That's really been. Do that in public. It looks like I have Tourette's now.

But yeah, that's been like the worst part of it. And on top of that, I already have terrible hearing. And I have tinnitus also. Yeah. This is just the, I tell you my ailments. John's ailment podcast. You hit 35 and you get conditions. Is it tinnitus or tinnitus?

So the doctor I went to is across the street from here. Okay. He said it was tinnitus. And I said, can I say tinnitus? So the doctor I went to who's across the street from here, he said it was tinnitus. And I said, can I say tinnitus? He's like, I don't care. You can say whatever you want. Get out of my office. You don't have anything. Also, wire your pants off.

As long as you pay the copay, you can call whatever you want, big dog. So tinnitus, for the layman that doesn't know, is just basically you have a low humming in your ear at all times. You don't notice it until you're in total silence. Well silence well i thought and i'm glad you brought this up i think i just have always had this what i heard about it i was like oh this is not something that people have it's way more common than like people think i mean it affects as a survivor as a battling survivor myself yeah

sure we don't have a ribbon on the back of a car like we don't get not yet any some spots i think like handicapped spots i don't think there's a single 5k that's for tinnitus no i don't think so i'm gonna be running towards tinnitus research yeah and just be a lot of people like just looking for what they think is a bill in the distance yeah nope just a buzzer but it's like a common thing no so and i it was funny they were talking about this in some other podcast i was listening to and they said that no no one knows what tinnitus is until you watch uh the movie the hurt locker i think it is and they talk about like when a bomb goes off and then those people lose so it's basically your ear loses that pitch for all like you can no longer hear it but it i don't know horrible explanation

that was great but basically it started to affect me like i was i would always hear like when i was going to bed if it was totally silent yeah um it started to affect me. I would always hear it when I was going to bed if it was totally silent. It started to affect me when we had the baby because she would scream and it would reverberate in my ear and I would just get these searing headaches right off the bat. I was like, I can't leave this kid yet. Brutal. Legally, I think. Well, I guess you can.

There's ramifications. You left her in the car outside, right? So I took the second option, yeah, and I went to the doctor. It was leave kid or go to doctor. I was like, let me at least check the doctor. But they do the hearing test. Have you ever done a hearing test back in school? Oh, yeah.

Which I'm still convinced that they're... Yeah, that's just ASMR. We're now an ASMR podcast also. We're going to slowly open stuff later. Welcome to the Handsome Idiot Test. Because we don't know how sound levels work, that still probably was so loud. Which we want to apologize for a couple weeks ago in the Zach Kummer episode. We realized how loud our burps into the mic were after we also listened to it.

Oh, I don't know who he is. I have no apologies. You're welcome. You get a clear burp right into your ear canal that sounds like the gates of hell opening. You really lucked out. Especially if you're listening to it with a friend and you go, I love the idea that maybe one of our comic friends is trying to like put us on and they're like hey my admit had my girlfriend listen and they're like why did you

um scream into the microphone minute 22. actually ironically enough if you listen to that episode you also now have tinnitus so bang bang so this episode is brought to you by tinnitus or tinnitus depends on who you voted for this doesn't sound it doesn't have the the grip you by Tinnitus. Or Tinnitus. Depends on who you voted for. Tinnitus doesn't have the grip to it. Tinnitus is like, ugh. Yeah, but this morning is not as good. I think Tinnitus sounds like a character getting a phone call from my girlfriend here. I'm going to let John vamp while I send a text message. Tinnitus and Echinacea were the one and two on your travel basketball team is what i'm gonna assume tinnitus his parents would give echinacea a ride to the games when echinacea's

parents were at work um i'm gonna keep vamping on this tinnitus would never pass the ball to echinacea okay we're back sounds like we saved it i couldn't vamp for eight seconds i mean you just go full racial as soon as you're not it's on you i thought i assumed tinnitus and echinacea were very nice white men tinnitus ignatia and vamp are all that was the one two and three united nations basketball team uh i don't know that makes me realize there too is i don't think i could do a solo podcast yeah i don't know how i mean i think i could like crank out a quick like 17 minutes of just unlistenable garbage but the people like i don't think do we know any like philly people who do a solo boy solo is that the only solo one i can think of that's like philly related is matt

mccusker has a like a side podcast off of matt and shane called psych gnaw yeah where he just reads and explains uh psychology stuff it's actually pretty cool well i guess chris wood is a oh ch, Chris Woods is. Yeah, yeah. And, oh, shit, that's, like, the most intricate. But his is also, like, not outlined. I mean, oral presentations, if you've never listened to it, go listen to it.

Amazing podcast. Amazing guy, Chris Wood. His is, like, outlined, at least, because he does, like, a shit ton of research for every episode. Yeah, he's got, like, an actual theme and... I don't think I could just do, like, a free-flowing thought podcast. One, I'd be worried about what I'd say. Yeah, he's got an actual theme. I don't think I could just do a free-flowing thought podcast. One, I'd be worried about what I'd say. Yeah, dude.

Because if I get lost talking to myself, not that it would be like, it might get too deep. I might find some new stuff out about myself that I don't want to know. Especially if you sit with no producer and you're just alone in your room speaking out loud.

First of all, your neighbor's going to be like, this guy's got to go on a watch list. And at what point do you go, yeah, that's good enough? Well, can you imagine if that point is like an hour and 15 minutes, the level of like psychopathy, narcissism to be like, I talk for an hour and 15, that'll hold these people over. I'm glad that you and I do this podcast together

because at least like to my friends and family, I can be like, I get together with somebody for once a week and talk to them and we play it out. They can never listen. But if I was just like, yeah, I talk into a mic once a week and it's funny to be like, oh, we're very Yeah, you have to like start painting your fingernails and like really what a psychotic person or painting your fingernails Johnny matzo ball. I know you're probably in your late 40s early 50s That's a cool thing with the young kids these days the males the male farm in it farming us

God, there is can't talk male pharmacist. Pharmanist. God damn it. There he is. I can't talk. The male pharmacist. Pharmanist is also the UMT. Pharmanistonly.com. The male pharmacist that just gave me my, we can talk about this too, my steroids. So the doctors thought that they were like, not are you not sick. We just need you to get jacked.

Here's four days of steroids to get you yoked. He had painted nails they were like a nice uh like a deep blue a midnight blue yeah maybe an obsidian blue if you will that's a nice little sparkle to it yeah uh how old did he look would you guess he was in his 20s i'd assume yeah okay and uh yeah he it was it was interesting to see it wasn't anything like it just caught you off guard it's just so weird I guess it's not weird. I don't know. It's so funny that the irony that I notice when a guy has painted nails, but my girlfriend

would give me shit for 15 minutes that I didn't notice that she got her nails painted. If I see a guy with painted nails, I'm like, whoa. And I don't even think I have negative ideas about it. I think it just catches you off guard. That's the thing that sucks, too, is when somebody does something out of the ordinary, it is the thing where it catches you off guard.'s the thing that sucks too is like when somebody does something out of the ordinary yeah it it is the thing where it catches you off guard it's not weird but then people get mad that they're like oh you reacted to that like it was weird it's like no it's just that's not a thing i'm used to seeing you can agree it's abnormal but then you see once you've seen 10 say in this case you've seen 10 people in public with men with their nails painted then

it's become a normal thing you're not as like, like, startled by it anymore. Yeah, and I think... And you see it all the time. I don't think abnormal means bad or weird. I think it just means, like, it is not the norm. Yeah, it just gets you off guard. And, you know, what is the norm nowadays? Nowadays... We're diving into it here. We are sponsored by CNN.

We're sponsored by the norm. Well, you know who's not? You know what's not the norm? Paper white pale skin and red hair. But, baby, do I ever rock it. And nobody ever gives me any simp. You know how many people say, oh, I feel so bad you're a ginger.

I don't understand 40% of the things you just said there. Sorry, I'm on a rocker. I'm going to assume sympathy was the simp part. That's right. But isn't it also like if you're simping for something, it's something different? Yeah, it's another young term. There are a lot of things I always want to ask you

since you're the younger, 10-year younger generation when I hear something and I don't want to sound old. Yeah. I'm like, I'll ask Matt when I see him. Yeah. What is simping? I think simping is just like a – The funny part of it is I know with all the progressive stuff that exists nowadays,

especially in the relationships that younger people have, it's so funny that simping is a negative term, but in reality it just means like being a decent guy to women it's basically like if you like a girl and you're like trying to tell hey i think you're really pretty i'd like to take you out like that's being a simp so it's really just like kind of like forfeiting over so what's it short for what is simp i think it's just s-i-m-p like i think it's just like that is the term okay so it's like the opposite of a pimp like man, man, that guy's pimping. Oh, that could be something. Simping.

What would simp be short for if that's – Simping ain't easy nowadays. Simple plan. Oh. As a guy who grew up in the era of pop punk, I can go for some simple plan. I actually never really liked a simple plan. No? Nah.

I think I stopped listening to anything new and I'm still stuck in that pop punk phase. Yeah. Still love it. But, but all right back to simping so you could say like i simp for my wife just because i like her well i think if you're not i think simping and this is what it really boils down to if you're not having sex with the girl okay but you are doing this and that buying her flowers doing all that that's simping so it's like a friend zone thing kind of but i don't even think like i don't i think the male perspective is it's like oh this guy's a pussy he's a simp but like for a girl i imagine they'd be like he's really nice to me it must be feel good treated nicely i get a home cooked meal once a week he listens to my problems we cuddle good to know that uh what's the term the

machismo toxic masculine is still existing in the young generation. So would you say there's anything you simp outside of like your – can you simp for things other than girls? Like can you – Oh, yeah. So what would you say you simp for? I don't know. I feel like I'm not using the term right. It just feels wrong. I think – I would say every drunken message I've sent to a comedian that's going in Philly and I'm like, can I open for you? Can I host? It is – I'm realizing now as I simp to a lot of comedians oh dude i mean like promoting their podcast when they've never even heard of me before and i'm like listen to tuesdays

of stories and it's like this guy's a fucking pussy boy oh i'm just now thinking back to like dms in my they're all drunk ones no the worst is like so DMing to see if I can get on a show or something now like if you have enough connection like I DMed Ryan Foster

whose show I did two weeks ago and I was like hey could I possibly do the show and get a grape room just to run my set before my next round

of Felix Farias and he was cool about it so I was like I don't look at that as like that wasn't as cringy for me but then

for Hacks I also have I blasted out emails to so many people that have gone unread and it's almost more painful knowing that it's just sitting in their inbox on red than if I had seen it was red or if they'd like I asked we were talking about Matt McCusker before we yeah it's like nah I just reached out to him was like hey I'm doing this golf show it's filled up you

comedian base I just want to see if you'd do it. And he, very nice, he was just like, you know, golf's not my thing. Thank you, though. I was like, okay, cool. That was perfectly fine. But if he just left it unread or seen. Yeah. And I'm thinking now of like all the people I've sent him out to. And it just, I don't delete it because I want to at least have that train of thought.

Yeah, yeah. But then again, there are some where I've reached out and we did the episode with Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey from Dad Meat. Yeah. They immediately answered and couldn't have been nicer. They addressed me as if they knew me and stuff. So I was like, okay, I simped very hard on that one because I'm a fanboy of them. That's like you're trying to give the thing you put together legs.

You're trying to reach out to people that are names that would get other people Right, I don't think that's which it is nice like the responses I do get are from people that produce their own stuff also Yeah, they at least have like the not at least but like they'll be like hey, I know what you're trying to do It's tough. Yeah, I also have to it made me appreciate a lot more like people booking shows writing shows together It's crazy anything. It's like because with that I mean if you're booking a show with eight comics and two drop off, you can still do the show. But if you're booking like a headline or a feature in an opening act and two people drop

off, you scramble. Terrifying. Yeah. Oh my God. I now see that with like just trying to get two people to go out and have fun and golf. It's just like timing things out, making sure it works for both of us. Like I have a lot more respect for that being said if you listen to this and you book stuff book us yeah just book us

dude seriously we're good cute kids we got we do okay enough at comedy for we won't i'll leave it at this we won't do terrible you put five people on the lineup i guarantee we're not the worst at least second to worst at the most i think i think i think our baseline is i think our ceiling is second best and i think our baseline is second to any five people too you could be like bill burr seinfeld that's the thing mark norman bring carlin back from the dead yeah and cosby i'm probably gonna do better than cosby now that's what it is and that's how we wrote that well yeah i mean cosby's got a killer they were asking this on one episode two of lesson recently would you bill cosby somehow has your number and hits you up. And I'm not going to do the impression, but he's like, hey, Matt.

Somehow that's funny. Hey, Matty. Hey, Matthew. Don't know if you're familiar with me. It's me, William Cosby. That'd be funny if he came out of jail and he's now William. I've seen some of your work, yeah. Would you like to do the show?

Okay. It was eating me until I could not do the voice. So he calls you up and he's like, I'm going to try to run a set at, say, Souljoes, where you've worked before. Joel's somehow okay with Bill Cosby being there. Okay. And he's like, I want you to host. Are you doing it? Dude, you know what

that's actually a great question because i think the easy answer is no but because well that's the thing okay so like let's okay so you host a big name first of all what kind of draw will he have there like let's say it is soldiers so we're staying up with soldiers and in this ideal situation somehow it's not people buying tickets to go to protest him let's say it's if they don't even announce it's him and it's just a comedy crowd there oh only you and him know he's going on let's say that like you do the show it's a great show and you're like guys 10 minutes left i want to bring somebody out that wants to run something yeah you don't even say his name let him walk out but then you have to possibly deal with the backlash of it later well so that's

what it is so i think the thing that makes you hesitant to do it is obviously it's that's not a useful credit you could be like hey i opened up for a rapist which probably more comedians could say that they don't know that they have yeah that's besides the point uh so i think you don't get a lot from it but boy is it a good story to be on a lineup with Cosby and be like I had a good set that guy fucking ate it like to say you fucking asked him it's one I don't think I can answer the question but I can tell you if I turned it down

I would forever kick myself for not doing it I think I'd do it yeah I think I would do it just knowing that I could not justify it to people but I could say like hey this is something I'm pursuing. He's a guy that, and they always say, take the art and the art, look at them differently. He crossed the line of what you can look at like the artist and the art.

But I don't even know how to put it into words. It's like, yeah, you'd have to take that chance. Well, if you're hosting that, you get to shit on him if he has a bad set. That's true, yeah. You could be on stage and be like, what a snoozer. Wish he would have put us to sleep beforehand. Oh, that'd be so good. Yeah, you could just rip into him for his cloudy eye for everything.

Yeah, fucking. So that is a good point. But yeah, it's like you can't bury him before he comes up. Because what if he comes up and somehow he has a set that everyone's like, hey, man, despite what he did. Yeah, I know. Louis has kind of redeemed himself. Now, not to put Louis and Bill Cosby in the same bucket. But both canceled comedians.

Louis has done a great job of slowly and quietly coming back. Right. So it's like, could bill cosby somehow do that also i don't i think he's yeah and also he's like 81 and can barely walk i'm pretty sure when he got out they he went in like not able to walk and then they showed him when he was out and he like he posted it was like a selfie he had this stupid sweatshirt on yeah yeah i couldn't and it's one of those people like i can't hit follow on Instagram, just my morals won't let me.

Yeah. But I'm going to look up his Instagram probably once a week and see what he posted, and it was just like, happy birthday to me. Yeah, it's unbelievable.

And it was just a selfie. Just, did you read the comments underneath of it? Like, I got, like, 20 in. And they're all positive. All positive.

They're all good to have you back. They're called Mr. Cosby. That's what I'm curious, too, is, like, how much is it being moderated? Does he have a team of people just sitting there?

Dude, imagine those are Russian bots fucking championing bill cosby to divide the united states that's the crux of our nation is bill cosby's release well here's an even so that's a fucking great question but i think it probably becomes easier because he is such a piece of shit and like a convicted piece of shit really yeah but there are courts that have told you you're a piece of shit it's one thing to be like public opinion hate you but like on record there's documents that like you're a terrible human here's the question so louis we said like louis just was predatorial was creepy but technically didn't do anything i don't i don't want to get too into

the weeds on it but there's no legal conviction right yeah there's no legal end of his here's the here's the great chrystaliaElia I think we talked about it before too and it's weird, not getting into what he did but it's like, yeah, there is no there's nothing like as of right now, when we put this out no court has made a ruling

on his actions he's good, he's cleared they had the fucking horrific he went to court for it no, they dismissed the case the girl dropped the case yeah well that one there was also a lot the most recent one where it came out about like child and yeah all that kind of stuff like that got dropped but there's still that exists like there's still that documentation out there yeah all that it's tough for him though because like that kind of he has enough of a following that i don't think he'll i don't see him really going back to stand up if he

does not anytime soon yeah but he has enough of a following where he can continue to make patreon money and you know what i mean yeah oh of course like brian callan was the same thing now brian callan went back to stand up after everything because he also kind of I don't think he got off on all of it but he leaned into it and said like

now whether he did or didn't do what he was accused of yeah he said I didn't do it I'm sticking by that and he just kind of kept living his life

how he was he lost a lot you know like I was sure he definitely fucked up a lot of stuff but he still he just did helium

a week or two. I mean, if you genuinely believe, and I'm not going to weigh on whether or not I think they're good or whatever, but if you genuinely believe you didn't do anything, I think you come out and you're like, that's fucking not true. Like, that's not true.

I don't believe that. I'm not stopping working. Right. But I actually watched a video that was just kind of like a cool, like, PR video where basically the guy just goes through and says, like, what Chris D'Elia did

in terms of his response by going quiet was wrong. What Callan did was right. The going quiet is like an old method where there wasn't the internet where you could go quiet, the news cycle passes you by and you're good. But there's no more news cycle passes you by. Yeah.

Because you still go on Google, you type in Chris D'Elia, the first thing that comes up is all the awful charges and shit. Right. Yeah, you can't, I mean you can, that always amazes me when people can scrub the internet of stuff yeah like there are some people that have that ability but i think that's like you gotta have money but the the funniest thing about the

delia shit is like i mean not the funniest thing about him if he did come back to stand up like he still has his fan base but like you definitely have to tour different like he can't he can't do a show in seattle he can't do a show in like portland he just has to do like non-woke but dude he's got to go to like huntsville alabama and talk about supreme to fucking dudes with cowboy hats but you're gonna find like as much as like you think your crowd like their crowd isn't going to be somewhere there's going to be a pocket of yeah a hundred people that would come out to see them like i think he could sell at a theater like tomorrow probably you know which is crazy yeah it's i don't know it's interesting it's so you would you would host for him right

would you do it yeah yeah i think so because i also think it's like you can't be attached to the people you're working like yeah you're unless you went up and you were like i'm a huge fan of your headliner like he's my favorite comedian you just you're another comedian working doing your thing i don't think too many people now granted cancel culture is going to go after you probably right somehow but like i don't think unless you also have something to be canceled for like yeah you can get by on like i'm not a supporter and also you go under the guise of like i'm just looking for stage time and i'm not gonna turn down fucking that's a like uh brian eisley a regular at high note always had that thing where he was like burned down i i my goal is to like burn down every stage i'm ever on like

tear it down i'm really whiting this up but like yeah kill it on every stage possible yeah so it goes to that mentality where you're like if i'm also gonna be that person that's like i'll kill in a bar or i want to be able to kill in a theater yeah i also need to be able to work around weird uncomfortable situations so it's like that getting comfortable being uncomfortable mentality that makes you better i think that would really test yeah that would be real because do you just completely do your set and you don't like pander to everyone's thinking about who's coming on. That's the other thing too, is if somebody is going to see somebody that has like big,

like a big negative thing, it's like, it's just a cloud around them. Yeah. Are they even paying attention to your opening set? Or are they just like, I'm just going to eat my wings and sip this drink knowing that I'm really here to just see,

I'm really here to see whoever's headlining. I'm here to see Chris D'Elia. I don't care what this guy's song is. If you're hosting for him and his audience, you're not going to go on stage and be like, you guys ready for this alleged breakfast? It's going to be, you'll do your shit. I wouldn't even talk about it.

I've hosted for some names and I don't do anything referencing them in my hosting act. You've got to do your job regardless. It's really just like going up there getting them warm and then be forgettable and you're good to go yeah not forgetting yeah but either way that's true though but i think that's tough like if you open for anyone with a following that's where you're like all right these people came to see that person are they like when you when we were joking about you flubbing mark

norman's name my point was i was like i don't think anyone even heard it because they just knew who's coming up we heard it because we were there to critique you right yeah but it's like how many comedy goers like i can say before i started comedy i went to see a lot of comedians where i was a big fan of the headliner yeah but i loved all of stand-up so much that I was like, I'm going to pay attention to all these other people. And it's so funny, too, how many times people are like, oh, I went to go see so-and-so, who was one of my favorite comedians, and the feature did way better. Yeah. And Inside Baseball, for anyone listening that's not a comic, that's probably because the headliner was probably working on some new stuff or is tweaking some things.

Also, probably did double the time that the feature did. Yeah, it's hard. So you got to see that feature do their best 25 minutes that is sculpted

and is like really fine tuned as opposed to a headliner who's like trying out some stuff. Right, right. That was like,

you said you just saw Brian Regan and he did some stuff from his special i feel like that's not very common if someone's already released the special yeah that's very and they're still doing it yeah i mean i put like kind of funny you said that like it was cool like i mean i guess i've started to like force myself to like not just doing open mics i think it's important to like go to shows even though you're not on them especially headliners and local clubs so it's kind of funny like putting yourself in the audience and it gives you like it made me feel better watching like

somebody who's like jake matera go up and host and like steve rogers who this is the name drop podcast no this is where we just tell you all the names yeah we know we know these we've googled we don't really i mean i don't think i know any of them personally but either way like but they both go up had great sets but it's so funny like being in the audience i realize like the audience is like okay but when does brian reagan go up no matter how well you're going right they don't really understand how comedy works they don't like they're some of them are kind of like why is this guy here oh now this guy's going up why isn't brian yeah there's a lot of people like if you if they're it's their first time going to a comedy club they just assume you go in you see who you want and then but they don't do the factor in the like oh no we're paying 25

dollars we're not going to just go see 40 minutes of someone talk and dude like you know it's even funnier and that's you're exactly right it gets to a point where like they don't like when you come up they'll bring you up and they'll go like give and this is not like soul jewels doesn't really happen but i've had it happen like other shows they'll bring you up and they'll go like, and this is not, like Soul Jewels doesn't really happen, but I've had it happen at like other shows. They'll bring you up and they'll be like, give it up for your host, Matt Peoples. Sometimes they don't know that the host is a comedian. They think you're like a host. Like you're going to go around and be like, how you doing?

Good to see you. Like just kind of like make conversation, talk about the club or something. But then you start doing material. Oh, you know, it's weird. I took an Uber here. And they're like, why the fuck is this guy talking about his Uber to us? I don't know who he is like so that can even be a thing which is like not fully aside but like i used to host a quizzo night not bragging and uh nobody would bring me up but they the whole

promotion was that i was a comedian doing a quizzo night so i've riffed during the audience and a lot of them went well but some of them you'd go up there and i'd grab the microphone and i'd be like hey how you guys doing i'm matt peoples and i would say i'm a comedian from you know philly south jersey this and that and they would kind of be like all right whatever just do the ask us questions about the office you fucking do i have a really cute team name that i want you to say exactly they don't care that exacts perfect they're only thinking about themselves so then like when i'm starting to like i like start to bust balls i'm like that's a fucking dumb answer and they're like why would you say that like oh sorry i'm like i'm sorry you didn't preface it with saying you're comedian then you're just a dickhead with a mic but i do i always would say i'm a comedian and

then like i talked to the girl who who helped run it who was great she was one of the bartenders and i kind of like asked i was like hey do you think you could just like i know you're super busy or just somebody go up if just the the validation of a person going up to bring you up, even if it's a dumb thing and like a brewery, they're kind of like, okay, I guess I'll listen. Right. You know what I mean? I mean, it is amazing how setting a tone, like it shows you that like hosting, even at an open mic, like setting the tone for the expectations of what you're about to go

through. That's one of my favorite things. Setting the tone for and the expectations of what you're about to go through. That's one of my favorite things. I do kind of like when a host at Helium or at a comedy club will go up and almost give a rundown to the audience. Like, okay, some of you may have been to a comedy club before. Some of you may not have. Here's what's going to happen.

And it's always the same joke. It's like, I'm going to come up. Dick joke, dick joke, dick joke. And then you're going to laugh. And then you're going to order appetizers. And I'm going to bring one of my friends up. They're going to tell, dick joke, dick joke, dick joke. And and then we're gonna bring up your headline are we cool with that like i'd love that because you've then set the precedent that it's like this is what to expect yes and this is also the the sales rep of me is like you set the

precedent of like this is what's gonna happen right here's how we're gonna get there now let's have some fun no that's exactly right and then you hold to it where you're like i'm gonna be up here for eight minutes so then that way people aren't sitting there like four minutes into your set like when is he just gonna bring up brian regan like so going up there just right off the top like i'm only gonna be up here for a few minutes we're gonna be friends by the time i leave here it's also cool that you get to kill a minute just explain yeah you're like and six minutes all right there you go yeah yeah but yeah i think setting the it's like anything but yeah that there's been a lot of times going to an open mic or even like a smaller show like bar shows are always tough because it's just like you need

to get everyone from listening to music and watching the tvs to now paying attention to comedy so going up and i think i saw cody right do this at one time like he went up or somebody went up was like hey in 10 minutes're going to start a comedy show. It was the one where we did at the bowling alley. I was split, yeah. Andrew Fox was right. And I think he went up and said, 10 minutes, we're going to do a comedy show. That's all I need to tell you guys.

So at least that way, it's not just like, we're turning off your music, look away from the sports. Right. Because, I mean. You have to make them aware. not just like we're turning off your music look away from the sports right because i mean you have to make them away you don't want to turn all the tvs off and if it's a bar and that you're the only it's just that room yeah there might be a guy that just wants to go there and watch espn highlights like you're just in his way and that's like we did a show in brigantine a month or so ago and uh it was sorry no he's dying on the podcast. COVID-19.

Hydrate. Go get vaccinated, will you? The numbers are peaking and sneaking back in in NJ, and John's one of them. I can't wait till this comes, when this comes out, and you now have COVID, and it turns out I did have it again. Fuck it. The next one will be the ventilator podcast.

You thought the fucking laundry in the background was bad. You just hear, That's going to be the sound right there that keeps everyone tinnitus again just doing darth vader impressions for an hour but uh brigantine brigantine yeah we were in brigantine and uh it was just so funny being in like a restaurant and nobody knows there's a show happening this the stage is just literally like a small like five you know those like five inch stages that are really just like it's like a trip hazard there's really no like command of the audience from it um he basically james went up and was just like hey guys we're gonna start doing comedy in about

10 minutes and you could just see everybody kind of like what the fuck did this guy just say also the just the phrase of doing comedy to us that makes sense oh yeah but to them they're like what are they gonna come in here and do like improv improv or is it something is this are we all doing comedy now like so like not like setting the tone of like this is going to be a stand-up comedy show right and like even then like you have to i don't know i mean the show all worked out like but there is a lot of like i had to go literally i stepped off the stage i grabbed the amplifier i put it on like the middle of it because people in the back couldn't hear yelling at them

tons of crowd work so like you kind of just gotta like make do with it which I think is kind of good because it teaches you like a new muscle to work with

like a room that doesn't give a fuck which is most rooms yeah but most rooms most rooms but uh yeah I don't know

I mean hosting baby have you are you have you hosted any shows are you I see like you do a lot of like features you feel like a good feature guy i've hosted shows wise i mean like high note one and i hosted out at a church of satire in central pa which is an awesome little club i think it's in hanover pa

yeah um guy jim out there built a club because he basically was just like i live in this random town. I love comedy. I've been doing it for years. I think he started like in Vegas years ago, moved back home with his now wife. And he was just like, I want to introduce this town to comedy. Right. Built a little comedy club.

And he has like, I think they just opened up recently. So if you're in Hanover, PA area. Yeah, that's so sick. Go check out Church Satire. So I hosted there. I was supposed to host for the whole weekend, but I couldn't stay out there. It was like, I don't know what the reasons were. So I hosted one night.

But yeah, I'd love to, I mean, now that I'm able to start to get out more and like doing more mics and everything, I would love to start hosting shows. Like you and I are hosting this week. That's our one plug we can get to. But like, I'm excited to get back into it because it is fun. Like, I genuinely like it because it's like a different experience where you're like oh i don't have to go up and just do my material yeah i get to go up a couple times like it's just very self-centered so it is good you get more face time and it does it's like it's kind of funny

like the real and a lot of comedians talk about it like the real sweet spot and people will get stuck here i think is like a feature like you go up you do you're 20 you don't have to warm them up the host goes up he's the one who eats his dick for the first 10 minutes the headliner is the one who's got to carry it he's got the audience he's got to kill for an hour yeah you go up do 20 hang with the headliner get something to the audience but this guy was really funny so you get like that clout or whatever all comedians you listen to talk about how much they love that portion of their career. Right. More than Headline.

Now, Headline, I'm sure they love it because they're making money. And they're, you know, they're able to really do what they love. But it's like when they were featuring was when they were having like the most fun. Right. And it seems like, not to say that it's not a lot of work because it's all still work. But I don't know. You get that feature spot, dude. Be fucking sick.

Again, that being said, if you have any feature bookings you need. We'll do those too, maybe. We'll do those as well. I'll put chairs out. I'll do anything. I'll build a stage. I'll hook up with your mom. I might.

I might. I'll do your aunt. I'll kiss an aunt. I'll cough in your patrons' faces. I'll cough right in there. Well, I'll tell you, speaking of coughing in patrons' faces, I had a clogged food disposal, garbage disposal, that had to get taken care of today that I think the listeners should deserve to hear about. I want to hear it. We talked about this before, that you're not a very handy man, right? poor Drano down there and cost mine and Zach Kummer anywhere from 10 to 20 grand for an entire new plumbing system for our apartment.

All that being said, the origin, so basically what happened is like one night under the influence, I'm a big Trader Joe's cutie. I used to go to Trader Joe's and for whatever reason, I was like, a lot of fiber, a lot of protein. Where do you go, John? You buy beans. In that cabinet to my left didn't we talk about this last episode did we talk about pouring beans down the garbage i poured beans

down the garbage disposal well it all came to a head today when i was like dude it fucking it's been like two three weeks it smells like moldy beans which was a listener knows exactly what a moldy bean everybody knows it's a common smell moldy beans was also a home run derby guy in the 1920s for baseball yeah it also sounds like a jazz artist yeah old moldy beans so i fucking had to put in a maintenance request threw zach under the bus because he's not here my roommate uh threw him under the bus i said when the guy came in i was like yeah my roommate made you know a lot of beans recently and uh it was funny because i was texting zach i was like yeah i didn't need him he just made him and poured it was funny because i was texting zach i was like yeah i didn't need him he just made him and poured him down the drain i mean that's what zach

doing air quotes did responsible i love that i did air quotes into the microphone like that made a difference oh picking up special needs baby uh but uh so i went and the guy comes in and i threw zach onto the bus my roommate right away and zach goes like dude by the way i'm pretty sure there is like a hunk of glass that i just left in there so i gotta and it's so like it's another emasculating thing where this guy comes in and he's like he's like five four but in my head he's like six seven with a huge piece and like i said back to the thing i got an apron on i got lemonade and i'm like look at you big burly man help me with my beans yeah the only way you can combat that is like when he walked in if you were doing push-ups or like yeah carving something with a knife oh dude it's even

worse because i faked a phone call so i wouldn't have to talk to him dude it's so funny when you fake a phone call my phone call is still boring and also i gave the guy a name i was like hey chris how you doing yeah i'm here now yep uh give me a second chris dude it's brutal i've done the opposite of that where i texted you one time and I was like, hey, in three minutes call me because I need an out at this place that I'm at. We'll say it was supposed to be a comedy show. It didn't end up being one, but I had no out. It was just me, the host, and one of the comedians in zero crowd. And I think I was the crowd hoping that I could just maybe get on.

And I couldn't get out. zero crowd yeah and i think i was the crowd hoping that i could just maybe get on oh boy and i couldn't get out and i was like hey call me because i need my phone to like ring and even oh shit i need to take this yeah and i think i acted like it was like important but they saw mad people's on there and one of the people knows your name right you know he's calling him with something important like say dude you gotta pick my mom up from the airport but yeah so long story short the guy came in stuck his hand in there pulled out a hunk of glass

and was basically like you know these probably shouldn't go in there and I was like that's fair news to me it's called the garbage disposal it's glass not garbage piece of shit complex can't digest this glass

so out loud this guy goes to me pauses looks down and goes is that beans are those all beans down there i know moldy beans and i smell it and i go yeah and my you know my roommate dude my roommate was making fajitas i came up with the dish that he made so much detail you're going to like fajitas but not like your standard He went with this chili lime sauce. Heavy bean guy. So he goes, oh, all right, man. He has to just sit there and just like jerk my garbage disposal off to just get the rest of the shit out.

All that being said, it is clear as a whistle. The fucking thing works like a charm. The saga has ended. The bean garbage disposal has ceased to exist exist so now i'm just picturing when he pulled out the glass he's like you know this doesn't go in here you're like i know right and you go and throw in the toilet that's where broken glass goes yeah it's uh broken glass a weird thing like that was a weird sentence broken glass is weird it's like the broken version of glass you know what's the deal i we bought our house two years ago and and the family, a couple that had it before us, I've talked about it before,

I'm convinced that they would just, like, finish, not even, like, beer bottom, they would, like, finish a jar of ragu and go in the backyard and be like, and just huck it into the grass or something. I literally, every time I mow the grass, more and more broken glass comes out of weird areas. It's either that or the neighbor behind me, when I go to sleep, just breaks bottles and then throws them over the... Just a lot of bar fights. It's hilarious because he probably...

Now I'm thinking about this guy. I only met him once. Yeah. And he's like a stay-at-home son in his 30s. Stay-at-home son? Yeah. Like those parents are saying? Yeah.

Like 32, doesn't have a job. Right. Real loser. Doesn't own a house like me i met him when i was on the roof of my garage clearing off sticks semi-drunk and he basically was like if you ever want to hang out i was like yeah no no thanks so now i'm thinking about it that guy probably is just breaking bottles and throwing them over because i keep finding either that or the guy that lived there before me would every day just take i also find screws and nails everywhere.

Jesus Christ. And he might have just been like, these look kind of rusty and just sprinkled them around the backyard. This is two that's just making Molotov cocktails. Yeah. I don't know what was going on back there, but I just keep pulling out debris. Could just be Italian families. Debris was actually the fifth player on your basketball team. Debris Lacey.

Debris Lacey. Debris Lacey. Debris is actually kind of a nice name. Echimasia Johnson. There's a lot of Lacey. Debris is actually kind of a nice name. Ekanasia Johnson. There's a lot of words that mean shitty stuff that are actually kind of nice. They would make, like, nice names. Like, a girl named Debris. Yeah.

Because there's Brie and then there's Debris. It's like the Ohio State. It would be D apostrophe Brie. I think it's like D-E-B. No, she'd probably make it weirder. It would be like a silent R. Like R-D-E-B-R-E-E. I like it.

like a silent r like r d e b r e e i like it what's your favorite uh sport or favorite like uh professional athlete name of all time i have a few oh there's a there's a lot of great ones they're i mean but the thing is like i feel like most of them are in baseball and i can't think what do you got what do you got uh mickey morandini is one of my favorites just because it's it's alliteration i think right eminem it flows and also i think i said this on here before the announcer for the phillies i grew up in the same neighborhood as him okay so he used to walk around like on his daily walks and he would actually practice names like saying them properly yeah so i would hear him and catch him and then i used to always ask him to say mickey mordia it's. I can do it now because he's nasally.

If you've ever heard Dan Baker, the announcer for the Phillies, he talks like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly the same. And he would go, Mickey Mournini. That's cool, dude. It's so good. And it's such a perfect name. The other name, too, this was never a professional one,

but it was a kid I grew up playing sports with. His name was Sonny Pappalardo. Unbelievable. Which, if that's not just the best italian name in general yeah but like you could you and it's i think he's in california working in film and stuff now but you with that name you need to do something awesome where people say your name a lot you gotta you gotta be famous like that's like uh well then there's something like uh manute bowl manute bowl is a good one son's name is ball ball right unbelievable is it is that his actual name

or is it a nick name b-o-O-L, B-O-L. I think one of my favorite, and I've heard it in a bunch of different things, is DeBrickashaw Ferguson. Oh, that sounds like that Key and Peele thing. Oh, yeah. Devoin Showerhandle. Devoin Showerhandle. So this is what that is from. Key and Peele talked about DeBrickashaw Ferguson as they introduced that.

Yeah. They said that DeBrickashaw, in an interview, they were like, what's that name from? And he said, oh, it's a family name. He was referring to Ferguson. Yeah. He thought that this interviewer was asking about a common last name, not DeBrickashaw. Dude, DeBrickashaw sounds like a Michael Jackson, like the noises he would make. DeBrickashaw!

DeBrickashaw! I'm going to do that all day now. I'm just going to walk around going come on and oh shit.

Oh shit right there. Michael Jackson R.I.P. R.I.P. Bill Cosby. Talking about more fun sports names. Gone too soon. More sports names.

Who else? I mean a lot of them are kind of standard now. No more Garcia Parra was one of my favorite ones and i think that's just it has like that up and down steady flow to it no more garcia spanish i don't know what he was i think he was italian i don't know he married mia ham who was my childhood crush mia ham's a funny name me yeah two m's so he you don't confuse it with the food yeah also that's such like i should

be like you should definitely be chubby like the other guy uh oh having a fat name and not being fat is hilarious what's that other guy john ham john ham sounds like the chubbiest guy at a fucking red roof in like john ham is the guy that was like in your fraternity it was fat and like didn't pull chicks but you're always like we need ham bone at the party he's the guy who could like shotgun eight beers he's the guy who like doesn't black out but by the end of the night he kind of cries and says, I wish I could lose weight, but I can't control myself. Yeah, he's not the gorgeous man with the perfect smile. Yeah, he's the guy who walks the drunk girl home and then he goes back home afterward.

Not to say that the cool thing to do would be to go to the drunk girl. He always shows up with beer. Yeah, yeah. Not like the Brick of Shaw. The Brick of Shaw is going to drink out of your case. Yeah, and he's like old school where he's like, I don't smoke weed. I don't do coke. I don't do any of that.

I'm just down to beers. Me, Jon Hamm. You think they lifted prohibition for me to not celebrate this? By the way, I watched an hour fucking thing of prohibition history too, so. All right, well, here, I'll quiz you then. Why did, what was the whole reason behind prohibition? Why did they start it? Religious reason. Was it really? A lot of't really protestants were upset about well basically they were so

ingrained in normal society that people just go to work blacked out and that was cool because their boss was too like the way they talked about it they were like it was a lawless awful land and i heard and i was like that sounds fucking kind of sick i'm not mad at that dude drink at work and you're allowed to hit your wife that was the thing it was literally by women that were just like i mean my husband just lights me the fuck up i wish they'd stopped it was literally just women saying please i just can't take a punch to the jaw every day at 5 30 anymore i gotta raise this guy's shit ass kids while he fucking logan pauls me when he gets home from the it wasn't because the Quakers were in the government. Yeah, that guy's making oatmeal, Quakers.

Well, Quaker is a thing. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. The Quakers. Yeah. But yeah, the prohibition was really just a lot of women being like, that's enough. Yeah. I mean, listen, we're going to get to wanting to vote in a couple of years. But first, can we just not get knocked out every day?

I think they had gotten to vote. I think they got to vote. Here's us being idiots. I have no clue when. These bossy? I think they had gotten to vote. I think they got to vote. Here's us being idiots. I have no clue when. These bossy broads. Got the right to vote. Next thing I know, they're entering. I feel like with the pandemic and everyone being used to working from home again,

and now having to, because they're saying like September is going to be interesting, because that's when they're going to, they're like deeming it as when people have to go back to work now. And like now people are, they're coming up with like new disorders where they're like i have stay at home itis and all this shit right yeah which i can't complain because before the pandemic i work from home i'm gonna continue after but i feel like there's gonna be a new prohibition because there's we were talking about this earlier my friend who i won't say his

profession but he like he has to go in and out of people's houses all day he said he went into a house this morning and 11 a.m there was a couple already drunk cracking a second bottle of vodka at 11 a.m and he's like there were it wasn't like oh my god i can't believe he's like there are well to do couple and i was like that's the beauty of working from home yeah if you don't have kids they're just like let's get get a load on like we're on vacation all the time it was it's it's tempting to not there are i mean so granted i mean i'm straight edge right now i gave up drinking for five weeks just farted i gave up drinking and

the next day got this illness so i haven't been able to enjoy like that i feel i haven't been able to do the douchey thing of like you know i really think we should all give up drinking i've never felt better about myself i've never felt worse yeah and i told people like you should have kept drinking that's probably what it was it was like my body was like no bourbon we need to like it's like what has happened shut down but i wonder if there is going to be another prohibition just because how much people are like i've heard so many people now that are like i never realized i could do my job this stoned or i start drinking at three because it's like there's so many people now that i talk to are just like i don't got anywhere i have to be i can walk to the bar like

close it up yeah especially with like i mean that was kind of crazy that was one of the wildest parts of where the pandemic started is like for about two two and a half months we all agreed as a nation we're like we're we're gonna get heavy in alcoholism for the next eight and a half to nine weeks i just love the people that acted like now granted the pandemic very bad a lot of people lost their lives thanks for clarifying also john with the hot take also some people it wasn't that bad some people but now it's funny that people are like having to go back to work and stuff they're now being like uh this is uh impingement it's like no you just want to stop you don't want to go back to work and stuff they're now being like oh this is uh impingement it's like no you just want to stop you don't want to go back to putting on pants like don't put it like where

you're like this is a a disservice to the society if we go back to work it's like no you just want to you don't want to have to clock out or you want to you don't want to lose the ability to clock out at three o'clock every day which i don't know no I think it's a real thing. It's fucking... I mean, listen. If you're going from the angle of like, bro, if I could fucking work from home for a year and a half, there's no reason I'm going back to hang out with you folks.

Which, to all my work people that listen to this, I'm sure you do. Love you guys a ton. But if we ever have to go back in the office, I might take my life. In the office.

You go back in day one. With a fucking t-shirt gun like it's just in my mouth who was it nick swartzen he did that talking about killing himself with a t-shirt gun yeah where he just like he gets on one side of the crowd to yell the other side he's like nope that puts into his mouth dude that nick swartzen is one of those guys who was so sneakily famous for like 15 years yeah i well it's funny now too because if you follow him he went from like he had he was at like the peak of like stand he had pretty young and pretty i think early into stand-up had a comedy central special yeah that killed he's like

20 and then he did grandma's boy and was like amazing in that movie which i need i that just came up on my like free movies on peacock app or something yeah or one of the apps it's like grandma's boy was like oh i can't wait this is like one of those it's midnight and i can't sleep i need something to put on as i'm watching a couple years but then it went from that to like he was hosting he basically was the quizzo guy at a bar in minnesota for vikings games like he was on for like the entire v season. That was his gig. Okay. And then we talked to us recently, someone ran into him. Oh, uh, Nick Grinops, were you there? He was saying he ran into him like in South Carolina at like a bar and was just,

I think he said, it was like, Hey, I'm a huge fan. Like, I didn't know that was you. And he said, like, I think Nick's words and like went off the deep end and just was like living in a bar town now. And it's just, again, this is all secondhand, but yeah, it, yeah, it's amazing. You got to see said like i think nick schwartz like went off the deep end and just was like living in a bar town now and it's just again this is all second hand but yeah it yeah it's amazing you got to see it too because like in his first comedy central special was like a thin healthy looking guy yeah and then like grandma's boy started to get like the white guy under the chin fat yeah yeah yeah and then it just got violent help unhealthy he looked he just looked like but it all fits the character i mean that's what

he probably started getting more movies there's a cough spray dude I am gonna have oral herpes by the end of this podcast that'll be our next sponsor is just like oral herpes we're brought to you by tinnitus and herpes the ailments pot what else isn't it we got a couple minutes left anything else new that in the past week i haven't seen you anything new what did we do this weekend i really stared mortality in the face and the dwindling years of my young going out drinking career when my girlfriend and i spent a saturday night leaving a brewery at 8 45 p.m to go home to watch six episodes of the iCarly reboot and i didn't have an issue with it i it's so fun now that i've gone through that swing yeah

watching people adjust to like oh yeah like the the joy of being out at a bar and like going out all night or like drinking all day is fading it's fun now to see that in like people slightly younger than me yeah of like oh yeah i went through that too like now like you're saying it's if i do go out i'm so glad if it's like nine o'clock i'm like i got an okay buzz yep i can go home i can be on my couch safe and sound i don't have to be out till three in the morning like yeah it's so much better it's so funny to watch that swing transition when you go when you realize that going out at 10 p.m and getting home at 3 a.m is not nearly as good as going to like a brunch or brewery at like 12 or 1 oh getting a good buzz and boots seven or eight coming home and eating and going to bed

eating and then that's a dan soda thing where he's like he had heartburn the doctor's like are you eating uh before you go to bed he's like i eat and then immediately go to bed yeah like that oh it is so good it's the best thing and like we sat there dude i mean granted my girlfriend's not a big drinker personally if i'm gonna sit there and watch the i carly reboot six episodes i'd like to have like a miller light in hand so I was sitting there like soberly watching it and actually not even soberly watching it coming off of a buzz coming off of one and realizing what you're doing and you're also getting like that little bit of like a post buzz headache and you're like is Miranda Cosgrove hot is this the end of a buzz can I ask my girlfriend this question so many conflicting

principles but yeah that's the thing we are sponsored by uh the iCarly podcast and Drake Ask my girlfriend this question. So many conflicting principles. But yeah, that's the thing. We are sponsored by the iCarly podcast and Drake Bell, another. We talked about him last time, right? Yeah, we sure did. Who was the other one that was on that show? Josh Peck. He was like an ugly fat kid and now he's like pretty handsome. There you go, handsome idiot.

He turned it around. That's what we talk about. But you know what? He has a movie or show that just came out. He just rebooted Turner and Hooch, which is a, I believe, Tom Hanks. It's a cop dog movie. It was in that stretch where, like, dogs were huge in movies. Yeah.

That was, I think, in the 80s. But then that gave way to, like, Rin Tin Tin, which was a show. Or no, the Canine Cop. Rin Tin Tin, Canine Cop. That was, like, when I was really young. And then Air Bud and all that stuff. Rin Tin Tin which was a show or no the canine cop Rin Tin Tin canine cop that was like when I was really young and then Air Bud and all that stuff

it's coming back around again now where it's like we need a dog to be opposite of somebody and that guy who you just said

Josh Peck Josh Peck is now in the Turner and Hooch reboot which I think is just like a Disney Plus exclusive

yeah he's a thin guy and I think he has a lot of loose skin. That's tough. Yeah, that's tough when you go from being like a really, really good guy. Then you could probably hang glide. Just like those flying squirrels. You just have it built in.

It just flaps in the air. Just wildly disrespectful. I think that officially tells you we're out of stuff to talk about. I was going to say, what are we making it to? 57 minutes. That's a gold boy. Plus the one we cut off off earlier yeah uh i guess we'll get into plugs uh do you have anything so i have the stuff we can plug together yeah uh this will be out beforehand so uh matt and i are co-hosting the south house uh showcase and open mic uh the showcase is going gonna star seamus miller lemare lee tyler wolf uh and that is on the 21st

of july it's a wednesday at south house with an open mic to follow um this the day of dishes we're recording this 7 19. uh you can catch my episode of strong words with ian strong which i just listened to it was a very fun episode. It makes me realize what good sound recording is and how levels work and everything. And I was like, oh, and then I had to come here and be like, what hole do we plug the mics into? I went from his we recorded that episode like two months ago in a nice studio in his house to you and I sitting on the couch here. But yeah, check it out. Strong Words with Ian Strong. He's an essential PA comic.

What do you got? A bunch of stuff. So I'm going to just try and throw it all out. Like John said, we'll be at South House, showcase, an open mic. That'll be a lot of fun. Come hang out. Do some time if you're a comic.

And if not, indulge our egos. Thursday, I'll be in Palmyra. I don't know the location. In Palmyra at a venue with Souljules with Aunt Mary Pat. I'll be hosting for her. Very, very funny. So come check that out. And then Friday, I'll be at Souljules Comedy Club in Royersford hosting again for Aunt Mary Pat.

So let's all pray that I do okay. Can you imagine I go and I bomb Thursday and I got to look at her and be like, I'm so sorry. It's me again. And then I have to like re-release the episode in the addendum and be like, Matt will no longer be hosting. I am not going to be there Friday. But Friday at Soul Jewels, 7 p.m., hosted for Ann-Marie Patigan, so come check that out.

And then July 30th will be in New York City, mother-frumping babies at Broadway. Big Snapple, as they call it. Big Snapple. Big little turtle dick. I don't know. Okay. Well, it'll be at Broadway Comedy don't know. Okay, well. It'll be at Broadway Comedy Club doing a Hot Bringer show.

So come hang if you're, I mean, you know. And that's a good promotion. August 4th, we'll be at the Beer Fact Beer Store in Springfield, Pennsylvania. Create comedy. August 5th, we'll be in the Poconos with Soul Joles again hosting. August 18th, the Roast Battle isoconos With Soul Joles again Hosting August 18th The Roast Battle Is coming to

Helium Comedy Club In Philadelphia Myself against The very funny Very cute Very terrifying LaMare Lee So come hang out

Check out the guy Do-rag and Deer Tag Who I was also on their pod Check that out on YouTube And then August 28th 27th At Asbury Park Me and Big Johnny Matzabal

Will be out there Doing some time at the Ghost. The Ghost Harbor Creative. Ghost Harbor Creative. It's a $12 show. You can get tickets on Eventbrite. We can post a link to it. The only other thing I'd add in there, August 4th will be my second round of Philly's Funniest. It's the early show, 7-15.

So come out, reach out to me if you want comps. I think I have some, I don't know. If not, come out. It'll be a fun time. $10, just do it. And Matt triggered my brain. I, last week, beat Cody, our friend of the podcast, Cody Wright. Hell of a battle.

Beat him in roast battle. You can catch that on YouTube. But I will be back next Monday to battle whoever wins tonight, Hell of a battle Beat him in roast battle Hell of a battle You can catch that on YouTube But I will be back Next Monday To battle Whoever Wins Tonight I believe Whoever wants the fucking smoke

So if you want the smoke If you want me to tell you You're a bad guy Then Get in the I don't know I'm getting that But yeah That'll be

Next week At the roast battle At Raven Lounge Next Monday Yeah Other than that Anything you missed You can find Matt Pee Matt people's comedy on Instagram,

Matt people's on Facebook, Matt people's 69, 23 on Twitter, AOL. My way message is out, but I am still active. So send me an away message or send me a message on AOL and send messenger and I'll get back to you.

And, uh, and you can find him as Pat Meeple's on Megan's Law. Yeah, yeah. That's a good, they got a good headshot

for me though, to be honest. And Monta Comedy hacks comedy if you look on Instagram. Check it out. Peace. Bye.

I said peace. Yeah, I did out. No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bit of that No fun, nobody, no fun, but I'm a little bit of that