The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #1730 I Want a Snow Cone, You Want Your Quarter

Episode Date: June 9, 2023

Adam and Drew are in New York as they get into how they prefer it when people don't make a big deal about their birthdays. Drew explains how shocked he was to discover after decades of working together that Adam's middle name is Lakers before Adam talks about the reviewer who once drilled into his looks. Next, they dissect Adam's unique childhood and relationship with his parents, Please Support Our Sponsors: Angi.com Babbel.com/ADS NetSuite.com/ADS

Globally, humans are facing massive problems that are widely ignored by governments and the media. Like personal space invaders. I've had it with these couples that sit on the same side of the booth. Yak mouths. Stupid stick figure bumper stickers. Almond milk. You cannot milk an almond. Hi, I'm Jennifer.

And I'm Angie. We call her Pumps, and we're the hosts of I've Had It. Pumps, tell the listener where they can find us. Apple, Spotify, Amazon, or wherever you get your podcasts. Nailedinsky. You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. A choice to get it on.

Mandate. Get it on. Dr. Drew over there. Sport for the 5th. Hanging out in Drew's Island. On the island of Manhattan. Kitchen Island on the island, yes. I'm looking over the Statue of Liberty out there.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's beautiful. Crazy. That Hudson River, just nothing like it. I don't know. I almost feel better about that than looking at the ocean, strangely. Yeah, it's beautiful up here. It's so funny.

I got a, I don't know. Tell me if you have any thoughts about this. And I think this is probably my biggest problem in life. This should be good. Yeah. Which is, I got, I was just looking at a text from my stepmom explaining that my dad was sorry that he didn't call me for my birthday the other day. And I'm looking at the text, and I'm like, oh, I never thought about that.

I didn't think, why isn't my dad calling me on my birthday, or it's my birthday. It also means that he's not sorry, she's sorry. Oh, well. He didn't think of it. Maybe he's called me on my birthday okay sometimes or before but and and maybe it's the worst thing you could say which is i didn't think about it like i it never ran through my mind i would never even dream about like who called me and who didn't call me you know what i mean i never thought about it it's like my dad didn't call me on my birthday and i only thought about it because my stepmom

reminded me that he didn't you know it's not even a great tactical if you know how i'm wired you just made me realize he didn't call me on my birthday because i didn't think about it before then i would have never thought about it And then where the liability part that comes in is I constantly having people going, well, you have to understand how someone would feel if, and I'm like, they would, why would they? I wouldn't feel that way. I would never feel that way. I would never, you know, be insulted or hurt or anything. I think there, we, you and I have, first of all, dude wiring. Dude wiring is sort of dude wiring. We don't really care.

Yes. And secondly, you and I both have sort of an aversion to people making a deal over us. It's like, eh. Yes. I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like it. It's like, thank you, but when I say you don't need to, I really, really mean you don't need to. Yeah, I don't like it. It's like, thank you, but I say you don't need to. I really, really mean you don't need to.

No, I know. We were reading. I was laughing because on my birthday, Natalia and I were at the Starbucks, and we're like ordering, and she was like, it's his birthday. And I go, don't, no, don't say anything. You don't say that. And then she goes, I was trying to get you something free. And I was like, oh, no, don't say anything. You don't say that. And then she goes, I was trying to get you something free. And I was like, oh, okay, all right.

Done and done. I like where your head's at now. Pragmatic, yeah. But yes, uncomfortable would never say it to anybody. The fact that my dad, now, obviously, it shows what I think of him, that I didn't think of him, like why, you know, call or didn't call or whatever it was. But, yes. And then I realize the world is not inhabited with people who think like we think.

They think they get offended. This was a thing. You know, I find i constantly kind of tell people you know like oh that you know what did this mean that that person did that i go and did nothing they're not they don't think about you it doesn't mean anything it's like oh it meant something you know what i mean which they don't understand is narcissistic and and again a little more towards the female brain oh Oh, God damn. Why did they say this in this email?

I don't know. They're fucking short on time. So they answer emails in a short way. Oh, that meant something. You know what I mean? It's a snub. Yeah, or whatever the thing is. My thing is like I don't even care if it's a snub or disrespectful it's i'm not interested

right in it you know what the person meant by whatever that thing was yeah it's a weird social chess game that some people play i i don't play chess i don't play checkers even it's not even tic-tac-toe yeah this is what it is yeah agreed yeah so so um you very kindly asked me to help out on one of your comedy gigs this last weekend here in New York. And first of all, we were in this room that was just spectacular. Did you take a look around that room? Yeah. Oh, my God. It looks like what you would imagine a jazz club from the 20s would look like you know with just over the top sort of uh

architectural appointments and big cushiony sony hall yeah sony hall it's under a hotel and i and i just thought first first thought was oh my god uh new york just has tons of places like this it's just hidden away yeah it's so amazing new york just has stuff and you just you can find stuff same thing of uh about just going out at night when you go out i i you know we were a couple nights ago we went out to a few places and each place we stopped and i thought to myself well we have nothing like this in pasadena and i thought yeah and there's a thousand other places just like this in new york and maybe better. It just never ends what is in a city like this. That's what I love.

But I bring it up for not that reason. I bring it up because you asked me to sort of think of some stories to tell while I was up there introducing the comedians and things, and a couple things came out of that. One, you and I have so many goddamn stories. We ought to catalog them somehow sometime. I know neither of us have the stomach for it, but we've scanned,

we've done things together across a period of history where there's just like, when you sit and think about it, and stuff occurs to me, it's like, goddammit, there's a lot of stuff. Do you think this, should we start trying to do that, or is that just a fool's errand just to try to catalog stuff i don't know i don't know either but i don't know it felt historically bad interested in it i'm not either but it felt

sort of relevant to i don't know chronicling the the historical sort of sweep we've been across and then the other thing i think I mentioned to you, so I'm just thinking about stories. I've never Wikipedia'd Adam. Then I found out your middle name is Lakers. How could I never have heard that story? Is that a story you tell? Oh, is that something you never knew?

Never knew. I mean, I said it at the comedy club that night. It's true. I just never, never knew. I never Wikipedia'd you before i never wikipedia myself yeah um i don't know i wrote it in i think most people know the story i must have said it a time or two on loveline i just no way well look it it is true in that whenever i have conversations so i'll have conversations with people right i'll circle back to lakers and make you correct okay you know during football

season one of my greatest loves is sitting around with the boys watching the games and drinking some beers, right? Okay. And then on occasion, someone will go, you know, on a Saturday, you know, they'll go, well, you know, I tell you there's volleyball tournaments in Orange County tomorrow, so you're going to be there all day. And I'll go, Sunday? The whole day? Oh, God, no. I want to watch football.

You know, they go, I told you on Monday. And it's like, no, no. I'm going to watch football. You know, they go, I told you on Monday. And it's like, no, no, you didn't tell me because this feeling, I would have had this feeling. This feeling is you're saying this, and I'm going, I can't do that because I got to be. And if you told me on Tuesday, I would have done the exact same thing. Same feeling. Same feeling.

And the reason I'm feeling now about it is i would have felt that way then but you didn't say anything to me and you're saying you said it's an interesting thing to me when when you tell somebody something and they have a significant reaction to it and they go i told you it's like first things fucking first i have never in my motherfucking life told somebody something. You know what I mean? Oh, I made this omelet with cashews. I'm allergic to cashews. I told you it was a cashew omelet.

You know what I mean? If someone has a strong reaction to something, I don't go, oh, I definitely told them, 100% told them it was a cashew omelet. I'll go into an anaphylactic shock if I have a cashew. Well, I told you. I said I'm going to give you a cashew. I'll go into an anaphylactic shock if I have a cashew. Well, I told you. I said, I'm going to give you a cashew omelet. You said, good. You know, I was like, I would never have the temerity to tell somebody.

I told them something when they were having a reaction. No, fuck. I can't be there. I got to be at a wedding. You know, and I told you. By the way, there's another layer to I told you, which is I guess you didn't hear me. It's possible I said it and you didn't hear me, and that's okay. That'll make that your problem.

The furthest I ever get with this is I thought I told you. Did I not tell you? That's as close to it, which is unlike every woman I've known who swears they told you when you're having this crazy reaction to it. And then my favorite answer is I always go, so what did I say? So you said, I'm going to make you a cashew omelet. I'm allergic to cashews. So what I say, good or extra cashews?

Like what would, you know what, by the way? They never will tell you what they said. Right. Or what you said. Right. What was my reaction? All they say is, I told you about this thing on this date,

and you... I told you. You know what I mean? Now, if you had heard that my middle name was Lakers, then I suppose you'd have a reaction to it you would you would remember the reaction but it was like a but it seems incomprehensible that you didn't know my middle name was lakers simply because it comes up but it's never really brought up by me

i gotta tell you and wouldn't have been brought up by a guest of Loveline or anything. It's the exact same reaction I had, which was, how could I not? Either something's wrong with me, or how could I have missed this? How is that possible? And by the way, when I first read it,

here's another tell. When I first read it, I thought, oh my god, his parents gave him Lakers as a middle name? I didn't know the story which is kind of another tell well obviously Lakers first off it would have suggested some effort some oh that was so incomprehensible to me I was like what well yeah when you see people, the fact that I don't have a middle name is perfect if you know my family. But it's exactly why if you see a middle name sitting there, somebody like me has a reaction to it. Right, right. It is the opposite of when they do that thing where they go, Little Dakota, Harold, Michael, Stephen, Johnson.

You know, whatever that is where people give each other three fucking middle names, my family is the exact opposite. Because it would have, giving someone a middle name, A, oftentimes involves, like, I'm naming him after my father who died in World War II. You know, like there's some reverence for something, some familial family thing, you know. Something. With something.

There's something. Right. There's something. And also, it's like, all right, it's also setting this person apart as an individual. Oh, that's interesting. I've thought about that. Yes. So I don't think people, you and I know what that means.

Right. I don't think everybody that comes from normal families knows what that means. It's a weird thing in families, like differently yours than mine, but same phenomenon, which is having somebody, I don't want to say stand out, but be acknowledged. Yeah, autonomous. Yeah, autonomous acknowledge. It's a separate thing.

Or for my family, it would be a special or unique or even different thing. Same with me. My family, nobody ever said, hey, I've noticed you've got some talent. You're really good at that. Maybe, no, no, no, no, no. Ever. Or, by the way,

if I did succeed at something, it was always about what's next. No, my grandmother's looked at her job was to not let me get full of myself. It was her job.

Hey. Was literally... You see, he's funny. He's entertaining. I don't see it. He doesn't have... You know, she basically said I was, like, not charming enough

to be on TV. You know what I mean? You reminded me of that asshole that called you not a showman or something, like a showman. That was the greatest. You know what was great you reminded me of that asshole that called you not a showman or something that was the greatest you know what was great about Tom Shales as I thought about him as a big reviewer

syndicated reviewer Chicago Times big syndicated reviewer he was drilling down on me not being good-looking enough to do comedy on basic cable. You're a Neanderthal, right? And he said didn't have the telegenics, you know, not enough.

You know, did not meet the requirements. You know what I mean? Now, but here's the comedy. And I'm not going to, the good news about where I come from and my family is I can completely, objectively discuss whatever. He's interviewing the man show. I see old clips of the man show. I'm 6'2".

I'm 192 pounds. I got all my teeth. I got all my hair. I'm actually good looking by comedic standards. Yeah, what Don Rickles is better looking. Patton Oswalt. You know, like I'm not a leading man. Yes.

I'm just subjectively or objectively good looking for a comedian. Yes. I'm not good looking for an underwear model yeah i'm good looking but i taught boxing you know what i mean like i'm not i don't i'm not the fat nebbishy balding i mean a world of chubby short balding guys i'm tall and not fat so why is that even a road? And plus, it has nothing to do with comedy. Yeah. But yet, Tom Shales started focusing on my aesthetic, which is a bizarre even angle to approach.

Shocking, he's gay. So something there, obviously. But what is even a good, why is it, like what I'm saying is, say not funny, you you know potty humor bathroom humor frat house humor whatever why write multiple paragraphs on me not being good enough to do comedy well interesting when he zeroed in on me too it was more visual right smugly preening i actually admired that because i not

not that i felt good about that analysis it's such a kind of brilliant use of language yes preening smugly yeah but uh yeah my my grandmother's job was she looked at her jobs to actively knock me down a couple of notches. And like I said. You did it on the man show with that. What's that? You did an interview with her on the man show where she did that. No, it wasn't the man show. That was me rebuilding my dad's house. And we went and visited her.

And she was like admitting that I was a celebrity, but she didn't get it. She never thought of me that way. That's the way some people say he's entertaining. I don't get it. No, she then said, she went on to say that maybe some people thought I was smart or funny, and then I must have got that from her, which I found interesting. She who worked at the VA for 40 years. Oh, it's so perfect.

Oh, it's so perfect, isn't it? Yes. But basically, her statement in a nutshell was, he's not anything, but if you do think he may be something, that's me. That's her. And then my mom and my dad were just conscientious objectors but they weren't

you know my grandmother if this was vietnam war my grandmother would have been on the hill of the property of kent state you know are you know fighting mps my my my mom and my dad were just silently protesting at home if you wanted to know about my talent, my ability, or my self-esteem. I was like, we're not going to acknowledge anything. Helen can go out there and fight the battle verbally. We'll just sit around and ignore everything he says. But what's interesting is, so my family was sort of over-involved. Yours was under-involved.

And yet we both had this same problem of boundaries where you weren't allowed to exist as a separate being. It's so interesting. You could exist outside of the house. You just couldn't exist. You couldn't ask them for anything. You could be acknowledged as being having some ability being in any way unless they got to co-op it right well i guess he's a performer but i guess that must be

i don't know my my you know i was thinking about it when i was walking over here with my daughter and i was just thinking about like how enthusiastic i am about making things fun and interesting and rewarding and just a kind of a general like you know saying they're all the time like it's pretty cool right it's pretty cool like New York City huh not too shabby huh coming out to the show going out with the Drews and Garagos for dinner you know hey do you like that dinner it's good food yeah I like the family style yeah yeah me too yeah it's good hey tonight you know maybe we'll get some chinese food or something it's like so kind of a general like do you have what you need are you enjoying this pretty cool right tomorrow maybe we'll do something better you know and and it just

it's sort of not selflessness, but a kind of a concern of like, is she enjoying herself? Is she having a good time? Is she cold? Is she hot? Is she hungry? Does she want something? You know what I mean? And if she does, maybe I can provide that.

You know what I mean? Versus this crazy kind of leave us alone, you know? I don't want to go away. You know, like my family was like preoccupied with like, oh, what do you want? No, do it. Go out. Go to Chris's house and eat.

Go to Ray's house and eat. You know, get them to drive you somewhere. Like, I don't, what do you want? You know what I mean? Like I could remember like opening the door to my mom's bedroom and her just like sitting on her mattress giving me the what what do you want what do you want you know what i mean like i was like i i want to buy a snow cone like i need a i need a quarter you know what i Or like I want to ride. I just want to get dropped off somewhere. It's like, oh, God, what?

Hang on. What? It's like, I don't know. I want a snow cone. I want my heartbeat. I want to breathe. But take a break. I want to follow up with something on that.

All right. We'll be right back after this. Perhaps you've got a trip abroad this summer. Communication is the key to getting fully engaged with that culture. And I would argue it shows a little bit of respect. I think you have an obligation to do that. And with Babbel, you can do so. It's a language learning app that sold over 10 million subscriptions. It is addictively fun.

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Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. Again, that is Angie, A-N-G-I.com. We're back. I found it interesting that when I stood out in the audience, was introducing people and talking to the audience a little bit, I was like, hey, what kind of stories do you guys like? Adam and I can tell. And they did it twice.

When you and I went out there together, it happened again, which I want to hear about your mom. Your mom or my mom? Your mom. I want to hear about Adam's mom. That's when I told the story about you drowning in the pool in that dream. So Adam, years ago, like right when we're getting started on love line adam goes and he comes he goes i had this dream it's bothering me it's like i was drowning in the deep end of a pool i was trying to pull myself up on the coping of the pool and these two haunchy women with

with gray hair were hitting me over the head with my own testicles yeah perfectly normal perfectly healthy yeah not have to be dr freud to figure that one out and uh but it was it was vivid and uh and i think i think it's that quality that has people kind of intrigued by it because it's so it's so it's such a like a for a male you want to survive that that castrating onslaught i think i think the thing that's interesting about my or you know interesting we start off by just saying no middle name but certainly would have been lakers you know but um that the thing that's interesting about my family is I think there's an interest in them. Like there's a fascination with serial killers where there's not a fascination with guys

who kill people when they're driving drunk. You know what I mean? Like he went to a Christmas party and he started drinking and then it started raining and then he tried to drive home and he hit a guy. It was a bus boy. He was riding a 10 speed cause his wipers were broken like we don't have an interest in that we like the good-looking guy who's killing for no reason you know what i mean they're like why why what's going on he's a nice looking guy he could by the way he didn't have to kill this woman he's good looking

he could have dated her you know what i mean like so with with my family because they weren't like alcoholics or you know overtly abusive but just sort of insanely disinterested which is a bizarre thing because you think it's like it's baked into family and you know there's a lot of like stories of like, my dad was the coach of the team and he was harder on me than anybody else on that team. But after the last game, he told me, son, I knew what I was doing. And I knew that, you know,

whatever that thing is versus, huh? Who are you? Like, you don't exist. Like, why? Or why are you even telling me about this? Or whatever the countless stories of my mom wanting to know why she should get basic cable when i had two shows on cable and stuff like that like it's really fascinating because they've never really seen it in the wild they've seen like the sort of version of it you know the sort of hollywood version of it i mean the one that the abusive alcoholic

you know million dollar baby with the white trash family and they've never seen this which is because it doesn't exist well it must exist it just it just seems like a rarer version that's kind of completely checked out but but yeah what does oh geez what does mike august say about this is he intrigued by it he had the exact opposite does he even hear it what you're talking about what do you mean he had the exact opposite he he his dad was very involved and he was very present and very uh you know sort of, sort of, it was a coach for Christ's sake. And, and so I,

I wonder, I, something happened at dinner that we were with Mike at dinner and he, I forget what the topic was, but something came up and I said, doesn't that, uh, strike you?

And he's like, all right. It was the first night I was on Friday. I remember cause he sat back when I don't even, I can't even like process. So it was something about how your parents worked. And I thought, wow, does he ever talk to you about that? Does it ever even impinge on him in any way?

We have a laugh about it. It's also funny that his, you know, we'll go to one of the Carolinas to do a show and both his parents will come like pick us up at the airport and want to eat barbecue with us. And he'll tell these funny stories about, like, you know, again, everything through the lens of my family is insane because everything that's something is insane.

You know what I mean? Like, the mom will be like, wow, we've had this Mercedes SUV. It's going, what is it there, 200,000 miles. But I changed the oil dutifully. And, you know, we had it reupholstered the other day because, you know, the interior was starting to show some wear. But, again, we think we'll get three. Honey, don't you think we'll get the three?

Well, we might have to adjust the valves. And it's like, it sounds insane that my dad would say, reupholster the Mercedes, or like how many miles are on it, or like whatever it was. You know what I mean? Mike's family, they're like the normalest, nicest couple.

I don't think he fully gets what you're talking about. I don't think he fully gets it, because I get it, because I had my own fucked up stuff in my family. But I don't think he's was too normal i don't think he really gets it he don't think he i don't think he can process it you have to really think about it you know what i mean to really understand what that is he'd have to kind of sit and you'd have to you'd have to like it's hard it's hard to describe nothing to people. You know what I mean? Which is a really, it's really hard to convey nothingness,

which is what you'd have to do with my family. You'd have to convey a nothingness. Now, he's aware of it because he's been with me for 15 years. He's never met my dad dad who lives three miles away right he's never seen my dad at the shop or at a show or you know whatever that story about your mom sitting on the bed what because that's so vivid you could just you could just imagine the coldness and the rejection and it's just you know what i mean yeah i mean it wouldn't she wouldn't throw a shoe at me or anything she'd just be sitting on the bed going you want something right

yeah i do me again well by the way i bought it hook line and sinker let's just was like, look, I want a snow cone. You want to keep your quarter. So we're at an impasse here, and I don't have a quarter, and I don't have a way to get a quarter except from you. And I get that you don't want to give me your quarter. She doesn't want to give you her attention. No, it's true, but what i never factored in what and this is this is now my problem which is all i did was i want a snow cone she wants to keep her quarter and those are only two factors here i didn't do what i do now with my daughter, which is, oh, I want her to have a snow cone.

And then the quarter's a small price to pay for her getting a snow cone. I didn't factor that in. I was just like, I treated them like strangers. It was like she wants, you know, whatever your relationship with the IRS. You know, they want money. You don't want to give them money.

That's how I looked at them. I didn't factor in the part where they would go, well, why wouldn't I want my son to enjoy himself a snow cone? You know what I mean? And, and it worked flawlessly because I'd come in and go, uh, and I'd see the look, you know, okay, now what you want a quarter, but you're very focused on the money part which i know is a big part of it but i'm no no it wasn't the money was i have a thing yes um no no i exist and i'm moving in on you no it i might have needs it could be it could be money yeah it could be effort attention yeah or attention you could want me to drive you somewhere you're going to make you an omelet or something you know what i mean now here's the thing um if you if you thought

about it this way this is how you have to really think about it if your kid comes up my kid comes up to me and goes you know and which happens all the time you know they go so and so is going to be a guest on jimmy kimmel's show tomorrow you know could we go you know and it's like okay i gotta go to hollywood and it's traffic and fucking parking i gotta hit jimmy up for pass and we're living in lakiniana and i'm fucking what time she taped 5 30 i won't be home till four turn it around and but all i think i can think of is like i'll figure out a way to make this work i'll figure out a way to make it work don't you used to go oh my god i can't imagine it could you imagine having a parrot they could do no but my mode is

i'm gonna figure out a way to try and make this work okay if a homeless stranger came to me and went, can you drive me over to Jimmy's and get me a thing? And I'd be like, no, I know I'm not incentivized. I don't know you. I don't know who you are. I would still be even if it was a random kid, I would have some leaning story. Let me see if I can make a phone call. I'm not going to bend over backwards, but whatever. But so my family didn't treat anyone in the family it was neither

here nor there so you asking for a quarter for a snow cone would have been a homeless guy saying can you give me a quarter so i can buy a little heroin they would have just been like no and no like it's the same quarter we're not factoring in who you are in this equation, which is all you got when it comes to family shit. But when it ain't there, you're on your own. Because you live with these people who are supposed to do these things, factoring in who you are to them. But if they don't factor that in, then you're just a homeless guy who shit from them and they don't want to

do it. Wow. Yeah. So on that positive note. Yeah. Yeah. Have a good weekend. Yeah.

Go to amcroll.com live shows everywhere. What do you got true? Uh, Dr. TV for a streaming shows. You can see it live three o'clock Tuesday, Thursday, and also.

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