The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - #1739 Is This News?
Episode Date: June 30, 2023Adam and Drew get into the transactional nature of relationships and how you need to have an equal balance. Next, they look into some gun death statistics which leads to a broader discussion on how pe...ople seek emotion from their news instead of just plain news. Please Support Our Sponsors: ZipRectruiter.com/ADS
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Hi there, I am Johnny Lieberman, and I'm Ed Lowe, and we are coming to you from Motor
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Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky.
You're listening to The Adam and Dr. Drew Show.
Yeah, get it on.
Got to get on.
The Drew's swing.
What's going on there, Drewski?
Let's see.
Where do I want to start with you?
Oh, I heard Scott Adams say something a couple days ago,
and I thought it would be interesting to sort of hear your thoughts on this.
How's he celebrating Juneteenth?
It must be a big day for him.
He's taking the day off.
Oh, okay.
All right.
What did he say?
So he was talking about crime and he was talking about family and education.
What?
Yeah, shocking, right?
So people are beginning to have that conversation.
Wait, what about the pipeline?
School-prison pipeline must have something to do with family and education is what he's saying.
But what about the pipeline that I've learned from watching HuffPo?
There's a pipeline.
They get caught in the pipeline.
It's like a big sewer.
It just sucks them in.
It's got an undertow.
Yeah.
It just pulls them in.
So he was sort of looking at probability of families being together and incidents of violent crime and stuff.
And guess what?
And it followed a certain ethnic pattern. And he said, you know, I'm really kind of skeptical about blaming single parents for this so much as what is maybe underlying this single parent thing.
And he went on to say, this was sort of what I want to get your thoughts of.
He goes, we don't really know why these men leave.
He goes, maybe we've done something where women mistreat men or aren't able to navigate a relationship with men and we should work on – you know what I mean?
He was sort of alluding to that kind of thing.
I thought, oh, that's something I never really thought.
I mean for sure relationships are fucked up right now.
And I've always blamed childhood experiences on the reason people can't maintain real relationships.
But maybe there's something in society going on where we're not encouraging men and women to get along.
For the same – I mean I don't know if gay couples have a better track record or not.
But it would just be an interesting – it would be an interesting – it's just an interesting idea.
Okay.
Let me address this.
address this. Each relationship, every relationship of any kind has two components. One is a sort of emotional and the other is transactional. And it could be boss with the employee, you know,
it could be friends, you know, there's a kind of emotional part. There's like sort of a transactional part where it's like I'm friends with Mark Garagas, but his legal expertise is something I rely on.
There's a transactional sort of part of it, you know, where I kind of ask him for stuff, you know, like I want your advice or what do you think about this?
You know, so let's let's refine that a little further. Like I want your advice or what do you think about this?
So let's refine that a little further.
So in addition to there being mutuality and friendship where you admire each other as people, you support each other, you be available for each other, there are other secondary gains that you like also.
And it's okay to have those things.
Yeah.
And people have them.
You may like cars, fixing cars together together you may like watching football together you tend to like doing yeah but it usually it usually goes a little further than
i like watching football together it's like there might be some business for us to do
some something to collaborate on or something there on or something that brings us some profit or some value.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
And people are very transactional that way.
And they pretend they're not because that's just what true love is.
I unconditionally love my child.
It doesn't matter what they do kind of thing. No,
it's kind of transactional.
I get something back for
having supported that child all those years.
Yeah, so like a little
you do this and I'll take care of that
kind of thing. Aristotle pointed this out
thousands of years ago that there's
different kinds of friendships and one of them he pointed out
was transactional. He felt that there was a higher
kind of friendship, which is just sort of – you just admire each other and like being around each other.
But you're right.
I think a transactional element typically enters in.
Yes.
It always – it always enters in even if it's not –
The foundation.
The foundation or even mechanical or whatever you
know i have plenty of friends i don't need them to do things you know for me but it's it's always a
factor and we're just showing up for your friends as a transaction yeah and then you start making
sort of decisions like you know there's people around here have come and gone.
And there's people where you go, oh, man, I couldn't get by without that guy, which is not many.
And then there's, oh, yeah, that guy could leave.
He'll be fine.
But in fact, you need that person.
You know what I mean?
It changes the relationship.
You know what I mean?
It changes the relationship.
And so we worked really hard in our society to tell the moms that they weren't anyone's maid or cook or nanny and they didn't have to do anything.
So my mom didn't do things.
You know what I mean?
So it was easy for my dad to leave because what was he leaving you know what i'm saying in that but the thing is though he was on all fronts right
no emotional support no well yeah but what i'm saying is is like people can have lopsided relationships,
but they can't have grossly lopsided relationships.
They can all do 70% of the work,
but once it starts getting into the low 90s,
then at some point you got to go somewhere else.
And that's sort of how relationships work you know the sort
of employees work that way like this every relationship is sort of like I can do this I
can do do that so so women for practical reasons would do all these things and then the guy learned to rely on them. Pardon me.
And but we started telling women to do less of that and that they didn't need, when that kind of went the way the dodo,
then the transactional part started to come undone in the relationship. A transactional, a relationship that has like a strong transactional component
will be held together through pragmatism.
It will stay, even if people personally don't care that much for this person or that they stay together.
You will hire a tile setter that you don't much care for if that guy's a really good tile setter.
And you'll sort of look the other way while he's putting the tile in, you know, or a transmission repair guy.
Like traditionally, people will work with, hire, and deal with people that may not be fantastic if they're really skilled or they bring something to this endeavor. Haven't we gone well beyond that though? I mean just look at all the television characters of how men are portrayed, particularly white men, as just useless, doofus, incompetent.
And then also women are told that men are toxic and abusive.
It's like – it's one steady meal.
He's toxic and you don't need to cook for him or clean or whatever.
And then the guy goes, all right, well, then what am I doing?
But you keep poking at the transaction part.
I do.
I'm saying hostility comes his way just straight away.
Well, that factors in.
But the part where you are taking care of business trumps almost everything.
And if you're not taking care of the business, then.
Whatever that means.
Yeah, whatever that means, then guys aren't hanging out.
So, yes, Scott Adams brings up a good point, which is why are guys not feeling like they have to hang out?
Well, you're hanging out with someone who has announced, I am not anybody's fill in the
blank, nurse, maid, cook, chauffeur. You know, I'm not anybody. Okay, then what are we doing here?
I mean, how many times are you going to go to dinner with a friend? How many times are you
going to pay in a row before you stop going to dinner with that person?
Now, I would say for you, it's a relatively short number of times.
It's probably somewhere around the third time you bought that person dinner.
I don't think there'd be a fourth.
Yeah.
I don't know that you would say it to the person.
Yeah.
I just, you wouldn't be available for the fourth dinner.
Yeah, that's right.
Because it's transactional to an extent.
Do you like the conversation? Yes. Do you enjoy the person's company? Yes. All that,
but not four times in a row. Well, it sort of starts to border on abusive,
which is really what we're talking about here. People do not hang out for any kind of abuse. They don't.
Now, we've done a lot of blaming of men for leaving.
I've never heard anybody raise the issue of what women might be doing to contribute to
the men leaving.
Right?
I've never heard that.
Well, men are pragmatic.
If not anything, they are pragmatic.
Well, some of it is sort of, hey, we're just having a kid together.
Who cares?
No, I get it.
But what I'm saying is there are guys who leave, right?
Yeah.
They're not leaving Megyn Kelly.
Right.
They'll leave somebody who's not making money and not taking care of business.
You know what I mean? Like you'd have to, you know, how many men, let's put it to you this way.
How many men who don't have much of an income are leaving somebody who's a primary breadwinner in the family?
What does that statistic look like?
That'd be interesting, right?
Because that goes way down.
Yeah.
Right? I wonder how many women leave the men in that family. What does that statistic look like? That'd be interesting, right? Because that goes way down. Yeah. Right?
I wonder how many women leave the men.
Well, in California, you just get divorced and then you take all their money.
So that's keeping them...
I see. That's easy.
Right. And the other direction too.
But it's another transaction that might keep you in.
Right.
Do we have any of those gun
statistic things I was last show yeah looking
for oh death united states all right let's see uh legal whatever illegal where's the homicide
suicides 54 whoa look at that so when they talk gun deaths total, about 50,000 a year, I guess, right?
2021 maybe was the last statistic we have.
When you say 50,000 gun-related deaths, you can just go ahead and lop more than 50% off of that number not attributed to suicide.
Right?
Yeah. Did they ever bring that up. Right? Yeah.
Did they ever bring that up on CNN?
Never.
It comes up now and again, but it's only by the gun guys.
Yeah.
Because they're saying this is lopsided.
Look at legal interventions.
Is that what, 2%, 4%?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
This is homicide, essentially.
1% legal. 1% legal intervention. Yeah. And everybody else is homicide, essentially. Yeah. One percent legal.
One percent legal intervention.
Right.
So a couple things.
They don't keep statistics, but the statistics are substantial in places where you can have a carry permit.
How many crimes are stopped by people with guns?
Mm-hmm.
Which they never bring up, of course, because that's no good for the narrative either but really think about it think about a concealed carry permit state stands to reason
there's a lot of crimes stop because somebody a law-abiding person has a registered gun or trained
training with the gun right yeah so they never talk about guns
uh they never talk about stories where somebody goes in to like shoot up a mall and somebody
who's registered shoots a guy with his gun they don't talk about those stories that's another
narrative buster by the way does that just go under homicide right I don't know what they file it under, but CNN is not interested in the law-abiding citizen with a sidearm shooting the potential mass murderer at the food court in the mall, which is a real story.
Yeah.
And they don't make much about that guy.
And by the way, that guy doesn't get to be a hero because CNN doesn't recognize him.
It's interesting.
So most of the stuff you
hear is kind of skewed what about the fists and hammers and all that do we have that data we can
look ben was trying to find that one let's see how many of those are this is us uh 2019 oh 2019
all right so we got knives, 1,500.
Hammers and, I don't know, explosives.
I'm just looking at the picture.
Other weapons.
Miscellaneous, I think.
1,600.
Long guns.
Hands, fists.
Oh, all right.
So quarter, roughly.
But the whole point is, is like the AR-15 or whatever they're talking about, like assault-style rifles. Yeah.
364 versus hammers and pool cues at 1,600.
Right.
No, no.
Well, look, if you could put...
Right, right.
2,000, really.
Fists and hammers, yeah.
Yeah.
Crazy.
Yeah, so fists, feet, and you know uh pool cues axe
handles dwarf the amount of deaths of assault rifles right but assault rifle even though it's
the lowest you know handguns kill a lot more people and shotguns, stuff like that. They're still fixated on assault rifles,
which I'm no fan of assault rifles.
But again,
it's sort of like how are we going to get the homeless off the street?
Wow.
We need more low income housings.
Like,
uh,
it's not a problem solver.
So we're looking at this is a different breakdown.
This is 2021.
Like cause of a murder.
So murder. So murder.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
So 447 rifles.
Huh.
Knives 1,000.
Hands, feet, personal weapons.
So, again, it's up towards 2,000 non-gun related.
Jesus.
Yeah. non-gun related. Jesus. Yeah, I'm just saying
the amount...
Shotguns compared, you know, half of rifles.
The amount of
killing done
with assault rifles
is statistically very low
compared to others.
And used effectively
for home protection.
But we don't like that.
Remember that couple outside of Georgia
like the Black Lives Matter
like protesting up the block or coming down
the street or under their lawn or something just came
out with the AR-15 and
tried to destroy them and arrest
them and stuff. That's where
we're at. Let's get that guy.
Let's get him locked up.
Let's not worry about the guys that are
rioting.
It's interesting.
It's a very
difficult point.
It's a crazy
needle to
try to
thread.
You can only do it if you have media.
Because otherwise, if you don't have media, then you're fucked by the statistics.
It's the same as COVID.
You can only do this if you have CNN and the New York Times, the LA Times, USA Today and Reuters and NPR.
You can only do it with their help.
Otherwise, you seem like an insane person.
I hope people get that
because, again, look at COVID and then look
at this.
Media is the problem.
Yes. Not guns. Media.
Well, look,
do we wish there were
no guns?
Sort of. On the other
hand, considering we got 330 million people,
there's 400 million guns out there,
it's going to be tough to unring that bell.
So I don't know what the plan is.
They're always talking.
First off, criminals do not buy guns legally.
Of course.
That's the other thing. It's weird. We're going to put not buy guns legally. Of course. That's the other thing there.
It's weird.
We're going to put these rules in place, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
That's, that's, that's not what drug cartels do.
That's not what gangbangers do.
That's not, that's not how it works.
Weird.
It's weird.
Yeah.
Politically expedient, much like COVID.
It is, but for some reason it's satisfying to people, but I don't know why it's satisfying to people because it doesn't do anything because it can't.
That's the same with homeless.
It's like it can't do anything because you're focusing on a mother of three who doesn't exist and you're focusing on assault style rifles or whatever and white supremacy and stuff.
That doesn't exist statistically.
That's the deal, though statistically to what this is.
Which is that it's politically expedient precisely because it feels good and nobody looks at the actual data.
Including myself.
I didn't know there was gun data until just now.
Didn't know it.
More people use guns for suicide than for homicide.
Yeah.
And then you go, well, but isn't suicide a tragedy?
It is, but it's not the
killing of one of my family members they're using rifles they're killing themselves and they're
they're using handguns and they're doing it to themselves and i would imagine they would find
a bridge to jump off of at some point if they were as serious about it as this yeah 54 of deaths related firearms 143 were homes yep well there
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What percentage of CNN watchers know that gun deaths or suicide is included in gun deaths and it's more than 50%?
Less than 1% of the people know that.
Who watch CNN?
Yeah.
Why?
Because of the way they present it.
Why are they doing that? Because it feels good.
It captures eyes.
But just, well, suicide could be arguably a pretty big problem.
Yep.
It's news.
They could present it in a way where you would understand it.
But they don't.
You know what?
And that's the question.
And the real question is then why do you keep going back to CNN and expecting some different outcome?
Well, let me tell you my sense.
Now, what COVID has taught me is that in the current major – what do they call them?
Major media markets or major traditional media?
Legacy.
Legacy media.
It's all hysteria.
Everything is hysteria.
Everything.
If it doesn't have a hysterical component to it, it isn't
reported on. Right.
Think about that. It has to be hysterical.
That's fucked up. It is. It's what drove me
crazy about COVID. I saw the hysteria. It was so out of control. But that hysteria
was nothing unusual for them. It's just business as usual.
Yeah. The question is, why does everyone keep going back?
Well, you get whipped into it. You get frenzied. Going back is really a tougher question, I think.
But it's gratifying because it is so emotional. But you shouldn't be going there for emotion.
You should be going there for news.
Right.
And I think they have been sort of persuaded, hypnotized, lost in the current – really it's become sort of entertainment in a way.
I mean Fox News is sort of explicitly entertainment.
I don't think they hide that.
I mean what's Greg Gutfeld's show?
It's an entertainment show, right?
Well, yeah, but they have news as well.
They'll discuss the news, yeah.
But it's entertainment.
By the way, I have no problem with news being entertaining, but it also needs to be the news.
I don't think you capture eyes without it being entertaining.
Something's got to happen or people don't watch.
happen are people don't watch.
And so I,
but I do think they have an obligation to not get lost in the hysteria and to just present stuff.
Well,
my problem,
like when I was showing you those ladies on MSNBC who needed their hair
relaxed,
they ended up doing a four minute dissertation on why you should get your
toddler vaccinated with Dr. Hair Relax.
And it was like, what is this news?
What what what what is this segment?
Now, it seemed like a paid spot for Pfizer or Upjohn or some big pharma.
That's what it what it looked like to me.
it looked like to me but what about all the moms that are just sitting around watching this thing thinking they're going to get a discussion on chemicals and hair relaxer and
go into this dissertation on why everyone needed to be vaccinated about how it had long-term
organ function problems and 20 of people who get COVID are going to have long-term organ problems.
This is the delusion of pediatricians.
And it's like, okay, I get the entertainment part of news, but that's not how this is being
presented.
This is being presented as a physician who's telling you why you must have your child vaccinated.
Yep.
That's the scary part.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, you were, we were talking last, last show about Hotez and his involvement in the
hysteria.
Yeah.
And, uh, thank God.
And by the, you know, every time I get one of those, one of those mashups of, uh, these
idiots being wrong, always forward them along.
Always share them.
Like Twitter?
Yeah. Always share them. Cause twitter yeah yeah always share because i'm
like good everyone pay attention this is what we're dealing with and these people even though
they were filmed throughout their campaign of bullshit and inaccuracies and mistruths
they still have the fucking balls to come back on last week and go, I never said do blah, blah, blah.
Which is, now we're getting into some sort of different next level thing.
Well, if they were hysterical, they don't know what they're saying.
You're in hysterics.
But would you call Fauci hysterical?
No, no.
Well, he probably was, but no, not publicly anyway.
I mean, you can find, there's a, I retweeted it, I think, too,
but there's a short Fauci one where he's like not telling anyone to lock down.
I don't know.
There's a new thing.
I was actually talking to my dad about it, which is I wish this thing didn't happen.
I've told you before,
I paid a down payment for my sister's house many million years ago.
And then 20 years later,
she'd announced that she thought she paid me back,
but she didn't.
But she wished she paid me back.
But now, which, by the way, that's how everything works.
I mean, the last 10 times I've gone out to dinner with Jimmy Kimmel, I wish I'd bought him dinner.
But I didn't.
But I know it.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yes, at least you know it.
But the wishing, unfortunately, the wishing gets, it's close to having done it.
You ever hear Biden talk about his civil rights history?
He's like, we marched arm in arm across the bridge and tell my alabama like no you do you wish you did yeah but you didn't
i went to south africa to free nelson mandela and was arrested at the you wish you did that but you
didn't do it so i wish i did it yeah but i didn't do it i i wish but the wish i was a world-class
downhill skier who'd meddled in the alpine events in lake placid except for i except i didn't
so i don't tell people i did yeah wishing there's this new wishing yes is now the new is you know it's so close to having this i having done it i guess i
did it you know what it is i wish i hadn't done something it didn't happen it's what it's when
you and i always talk about that thing where you would say to your wife back in the day you know
call the cable company and they'd go all right and then oh yeah they wouldn't do it then you'd go
call the cable company they go okay all right and then a week later they'd go i called the cable company. They'd go, okay, all right. And then a week later, they'd go, I called the cable company.
And then you'd go, what happened?
It was busy.
They didn't pick up.
Right.
It was like the I wish I did in a weird ways like calling the cable company.
In my mind, we're at zero.
Yeah.
In your mind, we got about 46% toward paying you back or doing.
I think it's higher.
Oh, maybe it's in the mid-60s? Yes, mid-60s for sure.
Otherwise, how could you say it out loud?
And then memory gets laid down that way.
Memory reinforces it.
Right.
Yeah.
If you had doubts.
Fauci – somebody shot it to me like a few days back,
but it's just a quickie with Fauci sort of saying he never told anyone to lock down.
Yeah, just tell them to lock down i mean this is i i have been sounding the alarm about this phenomenon for years now about how people feel yeah and when you feel something you can't be
wrong yeah big problems tell the story about that day when you came in
and said this is it we are in trouble you're talking about with my daughter in the garage
yeah her and i were arguing about something in the kitchen i don't know she probably
could have been eight or nine or something and she was getting ferried off to go to school in
the morning and i got in the car
and I think we sort of the garage that that argument sort of trickled into the garage and I
was she was offended about something or upset about something I didn't do or whatever and she was
sort of sticking to it and I was saying look I didn't do this or you shouldn't be offended and
at some point my wife just like said, look, she feels this way,
then that's the way it is.
So get used to it, you know, or apologize or whatever it is.
And I was like, oh, she feels this way and thus it is.
Which is pretty standard era stuff.
You know, it started to bubble up about 10 years ago.
Like this is how I feel.
Well, now you can just,
now I can just feel like a woman and walk into the ladies' locker room at the YWCA.
I can go into the Wii Spot locker room because I feel it's a very dangerous place to be in as a society is what I'm saying.
Can you think of – this may not occur to you easily,
but other periods of history where this has prevailed?
I can't think of any time when people just thought,
I thought we won this war that we lost.
So thus we have.
It's weird.
I literally can't think of another time
that this is the prevailing trend.
Because you can't do this in a mechanical world.
You can only do it in a sort of zero gravity kind of ether world.
Because other things were bridges were blown up and wars were lost and livestock was slaughtered.
You know what I mean?
Or you're freezing because you didn't.
I feel like I collected firewood.
Like, no, you just died.
And all the delusional
people died. There's frozen death, yeah.
Yeah. That's true.
Amy, any Fauci?
No, we're looking. We can't find it on your...
On your Twitter? On your Twitter.
I forwarded it. I mean, I retweeted
it. Ben's asking Chris right now,
but I'll keep running through your Twitter.
I don't know how that works.
Are you looking at the retweet thing?
Yeah.
It's weird.
We'll see it.
You'll have a laugh.
I mean, it's only like 25 seconds, I think.
When was it from?
Is it from?
Did I retweet this?
The timestamp on that says June 4th.
June 4th? No, Iamp on that says June 4th. June 4th?
No, I didn't do it June 4th, but someone may have created it on June 4th.
Anyway, we'll take a look at it.
First of all, I didn't recommend locking anything down.
And the record will show, Neil, that we didn't recommend shutting everything down.
I recommended to the president that we shut the country down.
And that was very difficult.
So July 2022, he says his first statement that he didn't recommend it.
And then in August of 2022, he announces it again.
And the last statement is from October 2020.
We'll just play it again.
I recommended to the president that we shut the country down.
And that was very difficult decision because I knew it would have serious economic consequences, which it did.
First of all, I didn't recommend locking anything down.
And the record will show, Neil, that we didn't recommend shutting anything down and the record will show neil that we didn't recommend shutting
everything down i recommended to the president that we shut the country down all right to be
fair to him though he's talking about that first 14 day thing remember two weeks to bend the curve
the problem is he went back and and kept extending it yeah and then the governors took over and extended it for years well okay let's
just say you weren't a fan of closing schools and shutting down businesses let's just say that
uh i don't remember hearing anything about it i don't remember you announcing hey what are we
doing here people it's not a good idea i, what I'm saying is omission, commission.
You sat there silently while the schools were shut.
Right.
So if, in fact, it was a bad idea and you're in a position of power
and consider an expert, then why didn't we hear from you?
You heard from me.
I said something.
Why didn't we hear from you if it was a bad idea? The real
player was Burks that went around
and convinced all the governors to do this.
I wonder if he has some problem
undermining Burks or who knows what.
He should throw that bitch right under
the bus. She still thinks she's a
hero for having done that.
Go to mcrollin.com.
Live shows everywhere. I'll be at Jimmy Kimmel's
Comedy Theater in Vegas tonight,
in San Antonio, Pasadena, Boise, Portland, Honolulu, Nashville.
Go to AdamKrola.com for all the live shows.
What do you got, Drew?
DrDrew.com for the pods.
After dark, you'll find it there,
and also the streaming show, DrDrew.tv,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
It's 3 o'clock.
Look at the library.
There's a lot going on there.
So, until next time, Adam Krola for Dr. Drew saying,
Mahalo. A lot going on there. So, until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Dr. Drew saying, mahalo.
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