The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Adam's Apoplectic Apology (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)
Episode Date: May 27, 2023Adam and Dr. Drew open the show discussing the old photo of Adam dressed up for halloween as Mr. T and the subsequent twitter exchange that he got into regarding the topic. They also revisit the topic... of David Alan Grier as Drew makes a last ditch effort to convince Adam to attempt to salvage the relationship. Adam talks to Drew about the sending his wife and her friend to racing school. They then turn to the phones and speak to a caller who has a question about a section in Adam's book 'I'm Your Emotional Support Animal' having to do with apologies.
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Welcome back to the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics.
First up for today, episode 1012, released February 13th, 2019, titled I'm Bothered by You Not Being Bothered.
Adam and Dr. Drew discuss an old photo of Adam dressed as Mr. T for Halloween.
And Adam explains why he doesn't feel it was racist.
What do you think, Drew?
Did you get any crap for being Mr. T?
Oh, no.
I answer most questions.
Someone was tweeting me about the governor's term.
I've got too many positions in my head.
And, you know, I think there's a – I don't mind – here's what I don't mind.
I don't mind people sort of looking for patterns,
and I don't mind people trying to connect dots and stuff.
I don't like when people are burning calories trying to make you into something bad needlessly.
One guy does something, and there is something historically called blackface.
And there is something historically called black face.
But black face is not the same as dressing up as Diana Ross or O.J. Simpson.
Black face is black face.
It's its own thing with its own past.
There is no historical Mr. T past that we need to go back and sort out this country's history.
I was dressing as Mr. T.
I wasn't dressing in blackface.
I was dressing as a guy I'm a fan of as a 19-year-old.
So this notion of like my – I sent a tweet out that said,
I'm not dressing as a black guy.
I'm dressing as Mr. T who is black, which is different.
And as far as the black face goes, all...
Was Robert Downey Jr. being racist when he played a black guy in Thunder, whatever it was?
Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder, yeah.
Yes.
No, I mean, he is now, I guess, now that everyone's woke.
I just wrote, you know, if you find that problematic, then fuck off.
And I said, I answered this guy's tweet.
It was just a fan.
It wasn't his fault.
I mean, I said, everyone thinks I'm a racist anyway.
So what do I care?
I mean, what reputation am I defending?
I tell you about my –
People just think I'm a racist.
My political party move yet?
Did I tell you this?
You're becoming a Democrat, so you don't have to –
Because I'm not racist.
So you don't have to be racist.
I am not racist, so therefore I'm a Democrat.
It's a weird world.
Like somebody tweeted me the other day.
They're like, oh, David Allen Greer, you're wondering why he's not coming on?
If you're black, you know the reason why.
It's like, what are we talking about exactly here?
I wish David would come on and tell us.
Well, I don't think he's going to.
But my point is.
You thought more about that yes
no it doesn't bother you i'm never bothered i'm bothered by you not being bothered i'm not
bothered by things i don't i'm bothered by that bothering you not being bothered about not being
bothered bothered i don't know look there's something wrong with me i'm not yes i'm not
bothered by people who are bothered at me if they know if bothered at me if it's based on sort of a false premise.
But you lose a friend and it should bother you, especially if it's a false premise and it's all about nothing.
So somebody you care about is lost to you over nothing.
Huh. Matt, why am I not bothered in these situations?
I'm a guy who's bothered by a lot of things, but I'm not bothered.
I'm never bothered by this.
Why am I not bothered?
I'm thinking you just have so much on your plate that your head is just kind of in other places.
So you don't really have time to stop and really think about something for you.
Nice try.
That's part of it.
You do a great job at all your work, by the way.
Let me just throw that out there.
Thank you, Hera.
Wow.
I'm not – I think that –
It is a friendship.
It was a fun friendship.
I personally miss him.
I imagine you miss him.
And now you have to like lose it.
That relationship is terminated and lost over nothing.
That's my definition of almost a tragedy.
But if you said, I'm trying to sort this out.
If you said, I'm not talking to Adam anymore because he borrowed $1,000 and never paid it back.
If I said that.
Yeah, and I never borrowed $1,000 from you.
Yeah.
I'd go, well, that's incorrect.
And then you'd keep going down that road and I'd go, all right, well, they're wrong.
Like that's –
You're wrong and it hurts that I have to lose a relationship over some weird delusion.
Well, I – but here's how I'm wired.
If that's who you are, if that's – if you have –
You and I know Dag is sensitive.
Yes.
Yeah, and he got something bothered him.
We don't know what.
And rather than him explaining it or sort of having an opportunity or something got in his head that is wrong or wrongheaded or can be hashed out, in my humble opinion, or even if not, it would be nice to hear what it was, number one.
But number two, that it doesn't bother you bothered me all week.
Well, there's a – look's here's what's going on.
Here's here's the way.
If you have such anger and resentment at him leaving over nothing, I get that.
But if it's I feel nothing now, that bothers me.
There's something going on, which is if you are not.
which is if you are not actively resisting Trump,
if you're not vocally actively resisting,
if you're a member of the Hollywood community and your take is, I don't care.
I'm focusing on my kids and my family, my life, my business,
and there's nothing I'm going to do about it.
I can send tweets out all day long saying Trump's a dick
and Nancy Pelosi's a dick, but it still doesn't –
I'm very like – I'm moving.
I'm working on a house.
I got a thousand projects.
I'm moving.
I'm working on a house.
I got a thousand.
I got a thousand projects.
So I'm a member of the Hollywood community that has not taken, joined the folks with pitchforks that want Trump thrown out of office or tarred and feathered or whatever.
I don't have the reaction to him that other people have. Maybe it's because I have
some pre-existing knowledge of him or had some interactions with him or kind of got the way,
which way his wind was blowing. But I just don't have the reaction that other people have to him,
which is he needs to be impeached. But I don't have that reaction to any precedent.
I'm just moving on.
Someone's in.
I'm all for lower regulations, lower taxes.
Let me live my life.
And that's about it.
So I don't have that reaction to him.
And I think the deal is if you don't have that reaction to him,
then you've made it into the enemy's corral and that's where we're at.
Does it interfere with your relationship with Kimmel?
No.
I saw him the other day.
Might it?
I don't – you know, I don't – it's weird because people go like, whoa, you ever talk politics?
And it's like, you know, there's not that much to talk about.
It's weird.
I'm more into almost everything else.
So, Jimmy –
I'm assuming that that means Jimmy knows you're sort of mostly sort of agnostic, if anything, and or pragmatic.
And so couldn't he broker a liaison?
He's pretty busy.
I'm pretty busy.
I just saw him the other day.
We hung out.
We had a good time.
Like I hang out and have a good time.
Most people in my world, you take a guy like Kevin Hench.
Kevin Hench hates Trump with a white hot passion.
Kevin Hench, one of my best friends.
And we go out to dinner and we just sit there and we talk about show business and family and whatever else.
And we enjoy ourselves.
And, you know, once in a while Trump will come up and I'll go, God, that guy's a pompous ass or something.
I'll go, God, that guy's a pompous ass or something. I'll go, yeah, he is.
And then we just, I don't know, it doesn't seem to have or have to have an effect.
Yes?
Yeah.
And that's why I'm wondering why we're tolerating this rupture.
Well, I'll flip this script on you.
Okay. There's a few guys, a few dads in my neighborhood that are pretty pro-Trump.
They like Trump.
We don't spend any more time together.
Right.
Now, oh, he liked Trump.
You like Trump.
Now, you guys should be hanging around talking about Trump. Like, I don't
spend more time with people
that are pro-Trump and less time with
people that are anti-Trump. I don't base
it on that. You're sort of agnostic.
Well, I'm also...
Leave me alone is sort of your note.
Well, whoever's the president
is the president for
the time being that they're the president.
And then there'll be another president and then there'll be another
president and then we'll move on i mean i've i've seen the hair on fire when richard nixon was in
there and then the sire relief when jimmy carter got in there and then more hair on fire when ford
got in there or ford got in before and then the thing and then hair on fire again when reagan got
in there and then sigh relief.
It's funny.
People forget the first two years of Reagan administration.
It was tough.
They hated him. Every pool man, gardener, and handful of neighbors have a much bigger impact on your life than who the president is.
Now, you can say, well, you're not black.
Black is racist, and he's declared war on black people.
But I don't believe that narrative.
I believe it's a false narrative.
So then you can call me naive for thinking that.
But I need some hard proof other than, well, you know he's a racist.
I got to see some action.
As far as I'm concerned, if he's helping great jobs and the black community is at a high level of employment,
then even if he hates black people, that's still a good thing.
As a matter of fact, I'm not really interested.
You know, my whole thing is like Lindbergh, anti-Semitic.
Ford, Henry Ford, anti-Semitic.
They still built Willow Run.
They still built bombers.
And they still bombed the Nazis.
Lyndon Johnson, horrible racist.
Brought us the civil rights legislation.
Yeah, so.
He was a serious racist.
Yeah, so I don't know what's in Lyndon Johnson's heart.
I don't know what's in Henry Ford's heart.
I mean, they don't like Jews.
Lindbergh didn't like Jews, but he worked as a test pilot for Ford.
They built a bunch of airplanes.
They bombed a bunch of Nazis.
Okay.
So you ask me, what would I rather, how would I like it to work out?
Well, I'd like the Nazis dead.
Okay.
Then what?
Well, I'd like Ford to not be racist against Jews and Nazis dead.
Okay.
Now you have a choice.
You're going to have him love Jews and no Nazis dead, or he hates Jews and lots of Nazis dead,
and I'll take the hates to Jews with all the dead Nazis.
So that's me.
Okay.
That's how I'm wired.
You're pragmatist.
It's a crazy wiring.
And up next, we have episode 204, released January 15, 2015, titled No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.
Adam tells Drew about sending his wife and her friend to driving school in Arizona as a gift
and the unintended consequences he faced for his generosity.
Oh, No Good Deed deed goes unpunished.
Tell me, what are we talking about here?
Lynette is in Arizona at the Bob Bondurant School for High Performance Driving.
Wow, that's something you bought her for Christmas or something?
Yes.
Is that a message to her?
You trying to tell her something?
No. Well, yes and no. She always says, she doesn't come to too many of my racing events,
but when I come home, I always have the in-car footage. And I always bring the kids in.
I go, let's watch a race.
Daddy was in.
And she'll watch that.
And she comes to some of the stuff.
And then she does that thing like chicks and kids do.
I want to do that.
And I go, well, she'll watch the Celebrity Grand Prix in Long Beach and go, I want to do that. And I'll go, well, you have to be a celebrity.
That's number one.
Not called wives of C-listers.
It's called Celebrity Grand Prix.
But all right.
What else should we do?
Go to the Aerospace Museum and stare at rocket ships and go, I want to drive that.
So she just makes proclamations about wanting to do stuff.
Yeah.
And I mean, I'm busting her chops a little bit.
I mean, she knows she's not going to be invited.
She doesn't sit there and have a...
Like, why wasn't I invited?
She's not indignant, and she doesn't have an intellectual discussion with me about why
she was passed over once again at 43 years running on the
toyota grand prix of long beach she doesn't but she just says like it flies out of her mouth like
i said like i don't know sunny does the same thing sunny does the same thing when she's watching
at the nba she's lebron james dunk and he goes i want to do that you know it's like
just comes flying out of his mouth so she'd done that enough you know I want to do that. It just comes flying out of his mouth. So she'd done that enough.
I want to do that.
And I said, well, look, you have to train.
You have to go through driving school.
You have to get licensed.
You have to sort of work your way up to it, blah, blah, blah.
And I don't know whose idea it was.
It's a good idea. So I don't think it could have been mine. And it certainly was like a good and very considerate idea as well.
Maybe somebody tweeted it to me. I don't take credit for any, for thoughtful ideas. You know,
I have, I, I, I, I will take credit for good and efficient ideas, but not thoughtful ideas.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
That have to do with a relationship.
Yeah.
So somebody put the idea in my head, send her to driving school.
And I thought, oh, yeah, why not?
We know the Bondurant guys are good guys.
I always thought it was up in the hills here locally, no?
No.
Where there used to be one or something?
That's Willow Springs. Yeah, that's Willow Springs.
Yeah, that's Willow Springs.
There is one that's in, I don't know, Palmdale, Lancaster, whatever.
It's 100 miles away or something like that.
That's the driving school you go to if you do the Celebrity Grand Prix.
The other closest one, or I shouldn't say the closest one, they're sort of spread out
all over the place.
But we have a relationship with the Bondurant guys.
Bondurant is a legend.
He's all over this Newman Doc film.
Bondurant, all right.
The Bondurant School is the school that Robert Wagner and Paul Newman went to
to learn how to be race car drivers for the movie Winning,
which then launched Newman's racing career.
Right.
So Bondurant was his first stop.
Yeah.
Bondurant...
You think of it, most people think of it,
this is something California thing, you'd know his name,
or Southwest at least, you'd know his name, or Southwest at least you'd know his name.
And you think of him as a safety instructor, like learning how to drive safely.
Chris can look it up.
He won Le Mans.
Oh, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
He's got a pedigree on it.
He won in Le Mans.
Is that her today?
No, I don't.
Oh, maybe it is.
He won in Le Mans in like 67 or something like that.
And then...
Why is his wife 30?
Then when you win at Le Mans...
64.
You don't have to ask.
At 64, he won in Le Mans.
And then he got in a horrible wreck after that.
And he's got his legs screwed up and he couldn't race anymore.
But anyway.
All right.
Point is this.
His legs screwed up and he couldn't race anymore.
But anyway.
All right.
Point is this.
He has a school.
And I said, you know, this is the kind of thing that everyone would have fun doing.
But Lynette would have more fun if she had a friend with her.
Yeah.
Because who wants to fly out to Arizona alone, stay in a hotel alone, and do all this alone?
And it's going to be a bunch of fat 50-year-old dudes that are in your classroom with you.
You want your friend.
If there's ever, I want my friend with me, fun activity, this would be it.
So I took a friend, Jody, and I got her set up, too.
So here is your present.
You go to driving school for a couple of days in Phoenix.
She's posting all over the place.
I will stay home and mind the kids.
Did she post any videos or just pictures?
All right.
Here's the point.
Okay, go ahead.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Okay. Her friend Jody pulls outside with her Prius
and parks the right side of it up on the curb.
What?
I think what she did, to be fair to her,
I start a lot of sentences with to be fair to her.
To be fair to her, my street has a kind of an arc to it at the top for drainage.
You know what I mean?
It's got a little bit of a crown to it.
I've hit the curve there a number of times.
The curve's a little...
No, it's low?
Well, when I'm using one hand to describe...
Well, first off, when I start with, to be fair to her.
Okay.
If I use one hand, it can only be so high.
I can only illustrate so much height unless I move very quickly.
Fair enough.
Okay.
No.
The street has a bit of a crown on it. Yes.
It curves down.
And the curve is medium to low.
It's not a high curve.
So it's easy enough to pull up on. I started with, to be fair to her. It's not a high curve. So it's easy enough to pull up on.
I started with, to be fair to her, it's not a high curve in front of my house.
Oh, right in front of your house.
Yeah.
Not up at the crown part.
Okay, got it.
Not talking about another house.
Got it, got it, got it, got it.
Okay.
Because I've hit the curve at the crown area.
The crown area.
Up the street a little bit.
No, no.
I'm saying my street.
Right in front of your house.
Oh, I beg your pardon.
My street has a bit.
I beg your pardon.
I misinterpreted what you were saying.
Got it.
My street has a crown on it, and it's got a curve on it for drainage.
Got it.
It's a little high in the middle.
Got it.
Okay.
Good.
Shall we continue?
Yes.
The curve in front of the house is about average, but I'd be on the lower side.
I wouldn't call it high.
Yeah.
She, when she was parallel parking, used my driveway, I think, like a ramp.
Right.
And drove her car up onto the curb.
Yeah.
The right side.
Because of the curve of the street, the car remained fairly level.
You didn't feel it.
If the street is flat, you feel the car listing to one side.
Got it.
Now you with me?
With you.
Either way, the car's in daylight, and you leaving for out of town is parked on the curb.
Oh, no.
Now, normally, I do a little bit of a sort of a pilot's walk around if I leave my car somewhere for a couple of days, like in front of someone's house.
You know what I mean?
Like a little bit of all the windows shut, everything latched, no briefcase sitting in the back window or something.
I'm guessing she didn't leave the keys at your house.
The topic came up. no no no she brought it up and she
said what i said i'll absolutely leave those right here put them right where i put my keys
and it's a good thing because as i was backing out with sunny natalia to take him to work
sunday night there was an officer in a patrol car there. And I, completely
friendly, said, what's going on? He said, do you know whose car this is? I said, yeah, it's my
wife's friend. Well, it's up on the curb. I said, okay, I'm driving, I'm going to work right now
with the kids in the car and I'm running late. I will, I promise I'll take it off when I come home tonight.
Is that okay?
And the guy, because I'm in a cool neighborhood, said, yeah, just when you get home, take it
off.
By the way.
That is it.
That's amazing.
Cops can do that.
Cops are allowed to serve the community, understand.
Use their judgment.
I live in this house that's on his route
that helps pay his bills
with my taxes and it's
perfectly cool for him to be
perfectly cool to me and for me to be
perfectly cool to him. He can, by the way,
see the two kids in the back of the car,
see me pulling
out of the house that pays his bills
and go, yeah. By the way,
as soon as I got home, that's what I did.
I didn't go down the street going, kids, change of plans.
We're going to Mexico.
No, I came back and I fucking pulled off.
But I came back home, got the kids in the house, and then had to go out and move the
car.
And it's a Prius.
I've never driven a Prius.
So it's like you're sitting in it.
You're not sure if it's started or not.
You press the start button.
Nothing happens.
Fussing around the seats,
pushed up against the fucking windshield,
you know, and I'm like, okay.
We'll be right back with more of the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics.
Last up for today,
we have episode 1292,
released June 29th, 2020, titled, If You're Normal, I Can Express Myself.
The guys take a call from a listener who had a question about a section of Adam's book, I'm Your Emotional Support Animal, regarding the current culture of over-apologizing.
Hey, there's an interesting call up there in line three.
I actually wrote this topic down.
So let's get to Cara.
Cara.
Cara.
Don't call me Cara.
Oh.
You're out of line with your instincts.
Cara, don't call me Cara, goddammit.
Must be Siri.
Goodbye.
Cara's a better root word.
So my question is, love you both by the way thank you i am reading
your book um your emotional support animal and i love it and i particularly love the preface
not a preface because i think that people apologize way too much, and it's annoying.
But I wondered if Dr. Drew agreed with you,
and I also wondered how you feel about exceptions to that rule, Adam.
It's a great topic.
I think it's a great topic.
Yeah, it's a good subject.
So the rule isn't never apologize.
I apologized to my daughter probably a month ago because she was –
You didn't acknowledge her feelings?
It was like I was – it was basically – it was a perfect storm.
We did like a Friday show uh everyone was at the house it was you know
quarantine time and the show was with uh dan dunn and so we were like taste we're like tasting you
know vodkas and tequilas and stuff like that and of course i was in my basement so i wasn't like
driving home from the studio so it was on i caught a little buzz. And then I came upstairs, and it was time to eat dinner.
And I was like, eating dinner.
It was a Friday.
And I was trying to eat dinner, and she was just kind of coming at me the whole time,
sort of, where's your mask?
And how come?
And I was like, what kind of man has a steak in his own home?
And she's like, and I...
It's a sitcom.
Yeah.
I don't know what I did. I just a hey stifle yourself i'm focusing here leave me alone like i just i just kind of
raised my voice and told her to shut up this is your classic scram beat it beat it yeah it's i i
i you know i startled her whatever and look it's still all her fault. She started cranking me while I was trying to fucking eat.
But I realized it upset her.
Everybody told you you had a blind spot around aggression?
Yeah, blind spot.
I'm going to punch you next time you tell me I have a blind spot around aggression.
Look, if you're a chick or you, yes.
If you're normal, I can express myself.
So anyway, I apologized to her. All right. I felt like I owed her an apology. I don't normal, I can express myself. So anyway, I apologized to her.
All right.
I felt like I owed her an apology.
I don't like when I raise my voice and that kind of thing.
Did she accept it or did it leave anything?
Yeah, she did.
I don't know what it led to.
But the eating disorder.
The point is this.
There are times to apologize.
It's happened.
And then there are times not to apologize.
Well, the problem now is that there is this weird apology culture.
And it sort of feels like religious sanctification around sinning.
Like, you have sinned.
Recant.
Recant.
And you go, yeah, I guess I'm an evil.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a sinner.
Not enough. You're not good enough're clean enough that's the problem it's one thing to go yeah yeah there is
an area i could adjust and uh yeah okay i got that wrong i'm gonna adjust i apologize as opposed to
what's going on now which is it's soft you have to flagellate right you have to destroy yourself
yeah it's a little.
It's gotten out of control recently, by the way.
Well, I would say in the last couple of months.
Also, the people.
I mean, let's really explore the apology.
When somebody says I've always said it.
Someone calls you fat and you go apologize to me.
They still think you're fat and they didn't
change their mind right that that came from looking at you and calling you fat now that's
why i don't understand the apology culture except for this you're a sinner and i stand on high or
judge you if you're only yeah if you're literally having a publicist craft a response and then you're reading it into a microphone so you can save your job,
then you're not apologizing.
That's not an apology.
That's basically, you know, it's like saying, you know, it's like Mother's Day.
It's like if your mom or your wife, you know, said, where are my flowers?
And you're like, you don't deserve flowers.
I want flowers. Like, you don't deserve them. I want flowers like you don't deserve them.
You're a witch.
I'll never give you another blowjob.
OK, fuck it.
Let's walk down to the florist and you pay.
Like, fine, I'll do it.
It's like, OK, so she ends up getting flowers.
Does that feel like anything to her?
Well, why?
Why is that satisfying to her?
You know what I mean?
That's what I wonder. No, it's not. What do you think?
One would like that. What are your thoughts? Do you have any ideas?
Well, I just think if it's like you said, if it's something that you genuinely regret doing, that's one thing.
But especially celebrities and business owners anymore, just say they say something and you know when they're
saying it it isn't true and i wonder who is even impressed by it it seems like they alienate more
people with that they're not impressed by it it's a basically drop and give me 20 that's all
that's all it is no it's not your center well it is your center but what i'm saying
is is drop and give me 20 now what would it be like if a a civilian could just walk up to
johnny carson 40 years ago and go hey man get down on your knees and do some push-ups right
and he went what get down on your fucking knees and do some pushups. Right. And he went, what?
Get down on your fucking knees and do some pushups.
Yeah.
Like that's what it is. Yes.
For me.
That's exactly what it is.
And you go,
that feels pretty good.
I mean,
I'll tell you what I do.
If he says,
no,
I'm going to gather a thousand of my friends.
We're all going to come in and make you do pushups.
Now,
do you want him to do pushups?
Do you need the apologies or anything there?
No,
no.
You just got to take a powerful person, a rich and powerful person,
and force them to drop down and give you 20.
And that feels pretty cool.
I mean, how cool would it feel if you just walked up to George Clooney and went,
hey, man, get down and do some push-ups for me.
Well, guess who's in charge?
Yes, like a control thing.
Guess who's a bigger celebrity than George Clooney?
The person who says, drop and give me 20,
and he drops and gives them 20.
That's control.
It's breathtaking.
It's breathtaking, but that's what's in it for them.
It's not the apology.
Don't get caught up in the apology.
The apology is like, what's the difference?
Where does it go?
Is it, hey, that felt pretty good.
How about 20 more?
Well, it goes, no, it doesn't go that way, although it goes that way sort of.
It goes, hey, that felt pretty good.
Let's go find Howard Stern, see if we can get 20 push-ups out of him.
Let's just go, let's go find Howard Stern, see if we can get 20 push-ups out of him. Let's just go find another person.
Clooney gave us 20 push-ups.
I can't really ask him to do 20 more.
I mean, we can try, tell him that's not good enough, but he's out of breath.
Let's go over here.
But they also tend to go, 20 push-ups, I wonder what else we'd get.
Well, maybe cut us a check.
I think that's where it goes.
And there's two kinds of apologizing, right?
There is, hey, you're right.
I'm a sinner.
I'm a bad person.
And there's also I made an error.
It was incompetent.
I will adjust and I learned something.
Right.
Those are two different kinds of apologies.
Would you agree?
Oh, yeah. There there there is a mechanical apology that takes place on.
When you're dealing with building construction and things of that nature, that takes place often.
You know what I mean? Where you have to you're constantly it's sort of like you're running into other trades and the electricians coming in and going, hey, the drywaller went over all my boxes.
I can't, I don't know where the boxes are, but I can't rough it in because the drywaller, and then the drywaller's got to go, oh, sorry, I didn't know, I didn't see the boxes on there.
I made a mistake.
I made a mistake.
That's kind of mechanical, literally and figuratively sort of apology.
And then there's the take that back kind of apologies, which never made any sense to me.
I've never.
Take that back.
It's, what is that?
I don't know where to put that one.
Well, it's more in the I'm in control emotionally department.
Yeah, it's dominant.
But it doesn't, I've always i've always studied um i've studied that closely
because i i've always seen it in my parents and others who create thanks cara thanks cara good
job thank you hey thanks for getting my book by the the way. Oh, I love it. I love all of your books.
What else stood out in the book for you?
Well, I actually just barely started it last night,
and I was just so thrilled because especially the timing of right now,
I've seen some apologies in the last week that just blew my mind
because I just wonder who they're trying to impress.
Like you say, they're just letting certain people control them,
under who they're trying to impress.
Like you say, they're just letting certain people control them,
but it just seemed like the ones they were making happy are not even happy,
and then everyone else just thinks they're spineless.
So I was just really refreshed by that.
Yeah.
Well, here's the thing. Once you make the proclamation that you don't apologize,
they also kind of leave you alone.
If you don't apologize? Yes. You have to just go, I don't apologize. Or also kind of leave you alone. If you don't apologize?
Yes.
You have to just go, I don't apologize.
Or I'll tell you what.
Well, he made that point about Trump, and it's so true.
Nobody ever even considers that he might apologize about something.
No.
It's just not even on the table for debate.
That's right.
That's why they say a million things about him, but they never ask him for an apology.
Hey, thanks, Kara.
Thank you. It's been talking to you.
I concur.
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