The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - BEST OF #50: Essence

Episode Date: December 26, 2024

Adam opens the show recounting a recent conversation he had with Matt 'The Porcelain Punisher' Fondiler about birthdays. Later they discuss commencement ceremonies and take listener calls on epilepsy, hyper vigilance and how vitamin D can improve testosterone levels. Originally Aired: 6/8/2013 Leave us a voicemail: SpeakPipe.com/AdamandDrDrew OR Click the microphone at the top of the homepage, AdamandDrDrew.com

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Got to get it on. No choice but to get on. Mandate, get on. And thank you to our 50th show. Just yesterday we started this. Where did the time go? All right, a lot to talk about. Yes.

Lots of your problems to get to. First off, Drew, something I floated on the podcast last week and I sort of stumbled into it with Matt, the porcelain punisher fondol layer as I was going off on them one of my Long-winded rants about how to be successful what it's gonna take what mm-hmm you talk about that once I try to pass a little knowledge. It's not really talking Mussolini asked I stand up I beat my chest and then I smugly preen as I Am there is no no no no you you got the finger up in the air like this. This is you. There's one finger up in the air.

One of the, all the way over your head. No, no, but then comes down to the. Yes, you're right. It comes down to the cross arm. You're right. With the preening. Yes, you're right. Going on after that.

Very self-satisfied. I think it was stemmed, it was something like this. I said, I gave him an assignment. I said, go to one of these European websites. It's got a Lamborghini for sale, but it won't tell you how much. So go to that website, find out how much that is. Send them an email, find out how much.

Because a lot of these guys go inquire, basically. You always know something's expensive where it either says inquire or market price. Right. Available on request. Yeah. There's that one too. Those are the expensive ones. And so I said, go to the website and find out.

And then he came back and he said, I went to those European car websites, exotic car websites, I contacted them and I found out how much it cost. And I said, how much? And he said, how much? And he said, first car, 537 euros. And I said, did you think I was asking in euros? And he said, no, but that's how much it cost. I said, understood. Now we're going to need to convert those to American dollars. And he said, yeah, that was stupid. I said, yes, that was dumb. I didn't make it clear.

I told them to ask them how much it cost. I did not make the distinction between euros, but I was hoping they'd do the conversion. It's funny, I thought he gave it to you and you won. He gave it to me in euros. Thankfully, I kind of know the conversion, but thankfully he's good on the computer, so it took a matter of seconds.

Now, I then had a nice laugh at his expense and then Chris Max of ads laughing because you could picture Matt. Give me all the prices all the cars asked for in euros Then I went off and I gave a little speech and somehow we got on to birthdays Oh, and I was giving him my well I was talking about my birthday party and the kids birthday party coming up and how you have to buy gifts for the kids who are coming to your birthday. Right. Right. Yes. Kids birthday now. That once or twice. Yes. And how I just don't give a shit about birthdays because there's no achievement in

birthdays. No grip. Everyone's born. Everyone of the worst people you know on the planet are born. Everybody. The aforementioned Mussolini was born and his buddy Hitler were born. They're all born. And then I looked at Matt in my condescending way and I said, even you were born. Do you think I want to be lumped in with you? What do you say? No, boss. So. Because that's the funny part is they all look at you passively like, what do you say Mr. Kroll? All right, so we had a nice laugh again. And then I said, listen, I think it was his idea to be fair to Matt and although I probably laid most of the track for it. I

Said it's about achievement. It's about It's about and oh you're about the yeah. Yeah, and he said, you know How about picking a day of achievement and making that your birthday you you graduated? From the Naval Academy on this day. Well, people do that with recovery. Oh yeah. Okay, that's an achievement. You started so early that day. You won this, you achieved that, you graduated this. You got an MD on that day.

Yes, when you got your MD, and I don't know if you remember what year, what day, what anything. I remember the year and the month. I can almost remember the day, yeah. But wouldn't it in a weird way feel more satisfying? Like, because people go, well, but now you're just inviting people over to celebrate your dad not pulling out. I mean, that's what you're celebrating. Yes.

You know, first off, how many of us were mistakes? Chris, come on. Well, clearly, your mom. You know how first off how many of us were mistakes. Chris come on clearly that your mom you don't plan on Chris. It was like a lot of you. I it's I it's I am profoundly confused by my parents in as far as their kids go because they have no interest in kids have no interest in anyone they have no interest in anything. Certainly, my mom and dad never made the proclamation, hey man, I need to focus some time, energy, and finances on something other than me. That proclamation was never, I mean, if you met the two of them, I mean,

it's a pretty decent point. I never really had the huevos pardon the pun to ask my dad about his huevos oh but yes or ironically my mom about her huevos ironically well she's the one with the eggs yeah guys are the ones with huevos ironically which is eggs you know I'm sorry? So both sexes have huevos. I guess in anyway it's seed. In Mexico everyone has everyone has but guys have huevos you know but the women have huevos. I guess in anyway it's seed. In Mexico everyone has, everyone has, but guys have huevos, you know, but the women have huevos, you know. It's all seed. It's all seed. It's true that my parents were not interested in their son or their daughter. I mean to the extent that, you know, my daughter sort of ran away, my daughter, my sister ran away, their daughter ran away, you know,

13 or something. came back periodically, but basically was gone when she was gone. Once we were gone, sort of living with my dad full time, my mom, you know, we'd go out to dinner once in a while and that kind of stuff. But I mean, there was no hanging out per se, there was no participation in any events or anything like that. And then once we're out, we're out, you know. So one could argue they weren't very much,

they weren't interested in being bad human beings or hurting anybody, but they certainly, you're not talking about someone who wanted a horse. They got a horse. And then it became a point of someone's gotta feed it carrots and someone's gotta brush it down and someone's gotta give it oats and someone's gotta exercise it.

I'm not sure they were even aware of that. And they were like, uh, I didn't ask for the horse. You know, people who want a horse and really work hard, save their money and go get a horse, go get that horse. They ride that horse. They brush that horse. They name that horse. They take care of it.

They give it a fucking middle name. They go take care of that horse. So I could argue that a lot of people didn't even need to be here or weren't planned on as far as being here. So the birthday I think go ahead and keep your birthday but let's not make a big deal out of it. What do we call the accomplishment day? Hmm. They have achievement. No, no, no. Yeah it's there. We could come up with some kind of catchy acronym, you know? Yeah.

Your worth day. Worth day. Ooh, Chris. Sounds like a worth day. But that has a monetary overtone to it, you know what I mean? Donald Trump couldn't celebrate his worth day, even if his Worth Day was the day that he sold his first apartment building with his father, or something like that.

But Self Worth Day, yeah, the Self Worth feels a little touchy-feely for me. Sort of like launch day, also, that kind of, like you're launched into something, and you achieve something. Yes. And you became something. Podium Day, little lofty. Me day. Kinda gay.

Yeah. We'll think about it. It'll it'll occur to us during the show. I'm gonna blurt it out. Yeah. That that'll be the way it works. But either way, I like that day. The day you became a doctor, the day you whatever. Now, before that, your kid, so you get to do your birthday. Yeah, yeah, of course. And then after you hit 18, we're going to have to wait until you graduate the Naval Academy or whatever it is. It should be a shame if you don't have your worth day. You should be ashamed of that. Well, also, it's going to be sad when, you

know, it's like, oh, your worth day is coming up, but yeah, they bumped me up to Assistant manager over at the Gamekeeper. They sell board games over there at the Irvine mall You know what I mean? Like when your gig becomes This is when I got my braces off That's your workday Saying these workdays are gonna vary wildly. They ought to have different. Well, no, no, no, I like this. There's gonna be, what's your worth day?

I won the Nobel Peace Prize. What's your worth day? I finished a pig's trough at Ferrell's. And you can move your worth day up as achievements accumulate. Well, nobody wants their worth day to be finishing the pig's trough at Ferrell's. Right, but the same guy that gets the Nobel Peace Prize may have gotten a PhD, but he may move

that up to the Nobel Peace Prize day. That's what I like. The worth day. You want your worth day to keep rolling around. You want to keep moving. And then someone should go, wait a minute, we just had your worth day six weeks ago. Aren't we supposed to do it once a year? A different worth day.

No, not my new worth day. Yeah, my real worth day. This is a Pulitzer Prize. I just got that in the mail. Now, motivation baby. So, the day you get your GED, that could be your worth day for a while. But let's get made partner at law firm worth day. And let's see how fast we can get that done. Yeah. I think we can get that done. Yeah.

You can share that with people. I like that. Motivation, baby. Right, should we take some phone calls? I got another thing I want to talk about first. Oh, good. Me too. I was thinking as I was, really?

Really? Is this what we're talking about? By the way, do you see that thing on the wall there, Brittany? That caught my eye, too. But we'll get to that in a second. It is how do people spell their names in insane ways, and this is the most insane spelling I've ever seen of Brittany, but anyway. Selling, I was thinking about

selling. My wife's been doing a lot of work for the Hillside Home for Children, and she has to sell stuff to get charitable contributions. And she's into it. She likes selling. And you've always said you suspect people that are salesmen. And I thought, what is that selling thing that people can do and people can't? And I thought, I can't sell. I can't. No, no, you can't.

I cannot. And I thought, well, what the hell is that? I thought, well, because people, they're spending their money on me. And I can't have them do that. I just can't tolerate that. And then I thought, I have grotesquely undercharged for my services my entire medical career. You can still see me for 36 bucks. That's what it costs patients to see me. And I just can't

charge more than that. I just can't do it. I just don't have it in me. And of course, Medicare controls a lot of stuff and whatever, but it's weird how that really bothers me to accept as a direct exchange, like selling something and taking other people's money for service. It's troubling. I'm glad you brought this up. It's interesting, and it's an interesting trajectory and path that I've been on personally. I started off in life by, as I've told you before, I would go to people's houses and I would

work for, you know, do construction, bring my tools, bring my thing, drive my truck, and I'd charge them $10 an hour, you know. And I could remember at a certain point, even further on in my career, it was just $15 flat rate. And the $15 would be, I would design them. I was building high-end custom furniture for gay clients at a certain point on the west side. You did like balustrades and stuff, right?

Yeah, I'd do, you know, stuff that was, some of it was actually photographed and featured in like architectural magazines and stuff, but it was still just $15 an hour. And I wouldn't charge for, you know, I'd go to the guy's house, I would measure, you know, the space it was going in. I would go home and make some drawings.

I would go to the hardwood shop and pick up the hardwood. And then I would get to the shop and start milling it. And that's when they were on the clock. I wouldn't even charge for all the measuring, all the, the whole time I did it, if I was charging someone 15 bucks an hour, I would never charge to go get the materials, driving my truck to Recita,

loading up my truck, waiting in line. I do a couple hours of phone calls a day. Never charge for one. I could never, I would never say to the person, okay, look, I need 500 bucks to get started here because I gotta go pick up a bunch of high end plywood like that. I can't either, except for that's what everyone else does.

And then some. Well, what are we lacking? Is it self-esteem stuff? It is, it is. I literally, I would pull it out of my own pocket and go buy that person. I remember one time... Well, it took my office right now to keep it open. Negative 10... I don't know how much

negative a year. Losing money and I just keep doing it just because it's my duty. I gotta tell you, at one time I was a little later on in my career. Now I was like 28, 29, still doing this stuff. I worked for a woman that was like, uh, you know, uh, one of those women from, uh, Mark's brothers film, like, well, I never, you know, like super white and super rich and she lived in a house up in the Palisades of this big sprawling manner and her, her, uh, you and her husband had passed and it was just her and her lap dog kind of thing and it was a lot of like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, you know?

And I was going to do a bunch of work for her and I did a bunch of work for her, but it was a nonstop just sort of her complaining about this and that and I was going back and fixing things that didn't need to be fixed and people were complaining and I was, you know, like it was literally like I built her an entertainment unit and used spackle to patch all the nail holes, and her painter said, well, when I paint this thing, that spackle may shrink, so he has to dig it out of every nail hole and fix it with rock hard putty. That's the only thing I'll stand off on. I literally just went and picked out all of it and refilled it and resanded it and it didn't charge a penny.

For free. Yeah, right. And at a certain point, I don't know what it was, but she was getting emotional and it was what have you. And she wanted me to do a bunch of crown molding all around her living room. And I fronted all the money and bought all the crown molding and did all this and that and the other and brought it up to the house and then she came out in the driveway and had a little tantrum and she was just, some of these women were just, wow. And I just left basically and I left all the crown molding there. And I called her like a week later and I'm living in an apartment with a roommate, no insurance, no health insurance,

no dental, no medical, no car insurance, nothing. And she's living in this like sprawling manner in the palisades. And I just said, look, I realize we've had our differences. I'm not blaming you, things didn't work out. I tried, I did as best I could for you. But I am out, you know, $276, which sadly is a lot of money for me.

For that crown molding. And you're going to use it. If someone else is going to install it, I ask that you reimburse me for that. Fuck off. Wow. Yeah. That was richy. And you sucked it up. Fuck off. Wow. Yeah, that was Richie. And you sucked it up.

It was my choice. Get my tourneys on her. Anyway, that's my life of privilege, by the way. There's the invisible hand at work. You love that invisible hand. So. You love it. That's what you want for everybody.

Well, I learned. I learned. I became stronger for it. But I had that exact same thing. As a matter of fact- Are you over it? Well, if I worked for someone and it was 10 bucks an hour and I worked eight hours and they gave me $60, I wouldn't say anything. When I was counting, I'd be too embarrassed

to say something. Yes, yes. Listen, by the way, people don't pay my bills routinely. And I just go, well, whatever. That's why I am laborgasted when people who are the exact opposite come at me with, hey, man, you should be paying me twice as much or whatever it is. Part of me is like, oh my God, you have no idea who you're talking to. You're so lucky. And none of you are like, look, where do you get this? Yeah.

And secondly, it's always like, buddy, I know exactly who you are. And you don't need to figure out where you're at before you come to people. I know where everyone's at. The point is this. I didn't have an ounce of that and never did have an ounce of that. It was horrible at that. At a certain point and because I come from the aforementioned family, I was worthless.

Why that wasn't even wanted? Who are you? Who are you to ask for this? Who are you? Who are you? And that's where I came from. And that's what I carried into my professional life. But I ended up in the same place. I didn't get so much who are you. That wasn't the thing. My family's number one thing was when you want, you know, well... But I ended up with the same feeling. Yeah. My family's number one thing was who are you to ask for this? Or who are you to get this or receive that?

I had a certain point, a certain turning point when I just said to Trip Reeb, who managed as general manager at KROC, first radio station, when he told me that he was going to make me the highest paid part-time employee at KROC when I took the Loveline job. I just said, Tripp didn't get into it to make money, did not get into it to be rich, but did not get into it to make people rich. So we will find a happy place and that'll be a place between me being compensated and you not neither one of us will get rich or we'll both get rich but it's not

gonna be either way and that's that a certain point I realized no I'm providing something listen you're talking a guy taught boxing and I taught my personal training was $20. You talk to trainers now that win $150 a session. You deal with me, it was $20 a session, I'd give you an hour and a half, you know? Like, and show up early. And by the way, if you canceled that morning.

So what? Yeah, me trying to charge you. Yeah, never charge you. But there's something different about collecting a paycheck from an organization as opposed to asking somebody face to face for fees for your service. And I think the reason, perhaps the reason I got to the same place is I always got, whenever I had to ask for something from my family, it damaged them.

It was a trauma. I traumatized them by needing something in compensation for clothing or whatever. Right. But now what you have to do is two things. You have to realize you're not, you know, a nine-year-old, number one. Yeah, but it's not that kind of thinking. I know. Well, that's the part. It's like you're body reacts to it. Well, look, there's a couple of things. You have to realize that if you are selling mangria, people want mangria and they enjoy mangria and that's the society we've built.

I don't criticize In-N-Out Burger for charging me for a burger. I wanted an In-N-Out Burger. But it's somehow different though if you were to have to go out and sell those burgers and collect the fee right from the individual. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm horrible. I don't think I could have been worse than you. But I have learned to overcome that. And I still don't do it on a super personal level. That's what I'm saying. That's the part that makes it impossible. Right.

But I will do it on a business level. And I think what you need to do is remove the personal aspect of it. Think of yourself as a business and go, I'm Dr. Drew. I'm not Drew Pinsky. I'm Dr. Drew. This is my brand. I'm Mangria.

That's my brand. I will sell my brand. I won't personally ask people for stuff. I will sell my brand. I won't personally ask people for stuff. I will sell this. And then as a performer, you're buying Adam Carolla, the comedian. You're not buying the little kid from North Hollywood who's got rejected from Taco Bell. Oh, so you're saying, oh, that's interesting. So you put a character between you and the consumer.

Like when I dance, I become the great capesio really the great capesio I step outside my body is that what those dancing shoes those jazz shoes those jazz pants were for mm-hmm mm-hmm No, like what prostitutes do? They give themselves strippers strippers well they give themselves a fake name And they're like this night is like when you saw them back at their apartment building and you said like, hey bitch, how about a lap dance? Here's $20. They'd be like, I'm not that person at noon

on Wednesday at home. I'm the mother. I'm the whatever. I'm the student, junior college, but student. Do you understand? Yeah, I'm still bothered. But at night, I become essence. Understand?

You need to become essence at your practice. You know what I'm saying? You're, this is Dr. Drew, the corporation now, not Drew. I still have trouble when people pay for tickets to see us at events. It still makes me feel weird. That makes, I don't like that. I don't. I mean, I like it, but I don't like it.

So. Yes, I know. I don't like that. I mean, I like it, but I don't like it. No, listen. I have the same. Sometimes when I look at ticket prices on some of the shows I do or some of the things, like $85 to sit in the first row or something, I go, $85? What the fuck? Yeah, because I don't know.

How are you going to be good enough to even? I'd be guilty. I wouldn't be able to. Well, but you have to understand they want it. They want to do that. And again, you can provide a good show and you can stay after and sign books and take pictures and do all the things

that give people a good experience so that they feel like they got their whatever worth. Well, that's why I spend time talking to people's stuff afterwards. Oh yeah. You'll have none of that. What do you mean? I talk to people after everything.

I'm just going to fucking show you. All right. Speaking of junior college, it's something I forgot to get into. Uh-oh. Somebody tweeted me some graduation. Is a commencement and a graduation the same address? Yeah.

Why do I have two names for it? Doesn't commencement start? Commencement. I don't know what it's... Well, it's like starting your life after college. Yeah. But it's also graduation is kind of... I don't know, I feel like it's the end.

Commencement speech should come at the beginning of college? Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's matriculation. It's interesting because it doesn't mean what the word applies. I think you're literally... No, I mean, look up commencement. Anyway... I think commencement is more about the ceremony.

The guy started talking shit about me during the thing. What was this? A junior college? Yeah. Oh, in a good way or a bad way? It was funny. Oh, in a good way or a bad way? It was funny. He was saying that Adam Carolla says that this is high school with ashtrays, blah, blah,

blah. That's someone else's joke, by the way. And junior college, blah, blah, blah. Well, we're here to prove him wrong. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it was pretty funny. I'm still, you don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah. Yeah, it was pretty funny. I'm still, you don't, yeah, yeah, yeah, Gary, if you find it, you find it.

We don't really need it. That's about what it was. But sort of flattered, still, I understand their, look, at community college, like I said, I like junior college, because I like some stigma attached. Some diminishment. Yeah. Diminish it in some way. That's why I like junior college because I like some stigma attached. Some diminishment.

Yeah. Diminish it in some way. That's why I like food stamps over nutrition. Fresh vouchers or whatever they call them now. California Fresh. You know what I mean? Fresh vouchers. By the way, California is bankrupt.

Hold on, Drew. California is bankrupt. Do we need to run or heading toward it? Do we need to run commercials asking people to sign up for the CalFresh program? Do you know what I mean? Like I'm seeing, I see commercials, hey, do you need this? But that means somebody's making money off this. Like there's some sort of privatization piece.

Well, no, no, no, no. It means people are staying in power because the more of my little minions I can sign up. Maybe. What are we running commercials for? Okay. So as you see, commencement is about the ceremony. Well, it says a beginning or start. No, no, but the two is a separate definition.

A ceremony in which degrees of diploma are conferred. Right, right, well I understand. But it has nothing to do with the meaning of the word otherwise. No, no, no, no. Listen, hold on a second. You're lucky I can't read. What I'm saying is this.

Words have a meaning. You go, OK, that's a word. And then we name. I'll just use it. There's a starting line, and there's the finish line. And you go, why is it called the finish line? Well, the word finish means the end, and then we have the finish line. And you go, you have a finish line, we'll put that at the start. And then you go, no, it's connected to the word. Commencement is a word that means the beginning or start, and thus the

commencement speech or address should be connected to me. I know we know it is totally different things, but how did it become commencement? We need to get the Latin roots. Get the Latin roots, Gary, or the Greek roots. I can tell you what it is. It's the beginning of your career. It's the beginning of your life. Outside of this, you've now done your training.

You're going to begin your life in society. I understand what you're saying, and I don't know that it's not that but I associate commencement with the conferring like you confer a degree. I think you're just too steeped in this. But that's my connotation in my head so let's see what the Greek source is. Well why would it be but if the Greek is going to be some sort of beginning. It may not be. It may be something about an offering. An offering of something. All right. All right. We'll find that. Anyway, it's going to be sad when I'm right. Yeah, junior college. Now, I feel this way about junior college because of my experience with junior college and my family and my friends' experience with junior college. A lot of people go in there to waste time. I'm fine with junior college if we set up some rules. Like, first things first, I want to know what went on in your high school career. Other than, look, if you show me, okay, let's see, what do we got here?

Your parents came over here in a coffee can from Cuba. You were a straight A student, but your dad works washing dishes. And you have a high SAT score. And you just missed getting this scholarship over to Stanford. So you want to go here for a couple semesters, and then you're going to transfer to UCLA. Fine.

But when I see a Stoner D minus flat line, never took the the SATs come on in and kill a few years over here Now but maybe not interesting. Let me let me make a different case. Maybe those Those young asian types that you're describing Which I know your beloved family systems that focus on education and whatnot Uh, maybe they'll pull up through competition the stoner Maybe he'll be exposed, he should be exposed to real educational. Here's the thing.

If I see, here's where I don't want crowding up, now you got the lantern over there. To initiate Volgerza. Anything? I'll say. Nothing. Only initiate. Only initiate.

No, no, but that's commencement. Is it, have any different, but that's commencement. Have any different? No different? The origins only exist for commence so far as I've found. All right. Well, so there you go. I'm right. Yeah.

You're right. Thank you. As always. There. That felt super satisfying, the throwaway. I'm so glad. No, no, here's our head. So there you go.

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for blowing the sunshine out my ass. This will be my day. This will be my day. This is your commencement day. Yeah. All right, let's just do VD Day.

Oh, no. Oh, it's close. Yeah, it's close. I think it's something for World War II. Just V Day. V Day? Yeah. I like V Day.

All right. What do we got? Let's take a quick break. We're going to come back. We're going to talk some birth control. We're going gonna talk a little hypervigilance. We got some epilepsy. All after this. Adam Carolla comes clean. Now available at angel.com. I think the problem with Olympic fencing is the outfits. They dress like X-ray technicians

with a spaghetti colander on their head. They should be forced to wear the outfits of their country swordsmen from back in the day, right? Yeah! France would have a musketeer. Japan would have a samurai. United States. A homeless guy with a machete. He's got a load in his sweatpants.

Subscribe to angel.com slash Adam to get exclusive access to the full Dry Bar comedy special, Adam Carolla comes clean. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. BetOnline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting from the earliest odds to in-game live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and the ability to watch and

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hey how you guys doing man? Good. How you doing? Good. Thank you. Um, I had a well, first of all, I'm a huge fan of both you guys. You guys are both geniuses. Love you. What's going on with epilepsy? Um, well, I've had epilepsy since I was about 12. Um, my, uh, my neurologist says it's generalized epilepsy. but recently, I guess, in the last two to three weeks, I've had what I can only describe as a brain lapse or like a really quick blackout. Yeah. Okay. So, PJ, are you on medication right now?

Yes, sir. I'm on Lamictkel and Zempad. What's the second one? Zempad. OK. Does your neurologist know about these episodes? Yes, sir. I'm going back to see him next week.

OK. So here's what that is. So you have generalized seizures, which means he used to fall on the ground and shake and have generalized seizures. The thing about generalized seizures is they often come from some local focus in the brain, in some little piece, that if it were just to be firing off,

you'd have some funny smell or vision or maybe some repetitive movements. And what's happening is whatever is going on here is sort of breaking through your seizure medication and you're getting what are called partial complex seizures. The problem with partial complex seizures is that they can then secondarily generalize. And so this is a sign that you're about to have a generalized seizure. You could have a generalized seizure, but it's probably being held back by the lamyctal. So what's really important is you don't drive in the meantime, right?

Oh, no, sir. I've, yeah, I've been driving about six years and seven. And if you're climbing stairs or if you're at heights or anything, be really careful because you could have one of these. When are you seeing the neurologist? Next Thursday. Okay. And did they give you similar cautions before you see him? Yes,

sir. He just cautioned me about like using knives. Yeah. Like you said, being careful about going down the stairs. I use knives when I drive. That's how unseizure like I am. You're a heavyweight. Wow. Going downstairs, yeah. And imagine all of a sudden you're blacked out. Well, look, you put a helmet on for everything these days. Would you put a helmet on for this? No, you wouldn't usually do that. But let me ask this, when you're blacked out, has anybody observed you?

Do you do anything repetitive? Do you say anything? Well, I had one last Friday. And I fell down and I was kind of zoned out, like very much like just a partial seizure. But the Friday before that, I also had a full tonic-clonic seizure. Yeah. So your seizure is just uncontrolled right now for whatever reason.

They'll probably do another workup on you. They'll check your levels. They'll make sure there's not something, you know, other medical problems can increase your seizure. And so make sure there's not something else. Have you lost weight, gained weight, been drinking, anything else going on that might be adding to this? No, sir. I haven't drank since December.

I had about three, four in a day, but I did have pancreatitis towards the end of March. From what? I'm not sure. How do you get pancreatitis? Pancreatitis is usually alcohol, pancreatitis. That's what they said, yeah. Yeahancreatitis is usually alcohol pancreatitis. Next thing is stone pancreatitis, like stones blocking the weed. Not stone or pancreatitis. You know, like a gallstone blocks the output of the pancreas. You can get hypertrichocytidemia, it can cause pancreatitis. Medication can cause pancreatitis. But yeah, it's weird. Viruses can cause pancreatitis.

I think I might have a name for our day. PJ, anyway, you're getting good care. Stay on it, man. You know what you're dealing with. But whatever other medical things are going on, I would look there and make sure those are nailed down tight. What? Well, you know how you exclaim Excelsior?

Yes. When you've had a fine achievement? Huzzah. Huzzah. If we did Excelsior, and then it would just turn into X day. Excelsior. Okay. People would go where that X come from.

They'd go where that X come from. It would just be Excelsior. Right, right. Mr. Kroll had declared it back in the 2000s. Yeah, how do you spell that? E-X-C-E-L, let's let me look at it. All right. Excelsior, that's what it looks at it. All right. EXCEL, S-I-O-R?

That's what it looks like. Is that where Excel comes from? Look, Excelsior? Looks right. It was written on a placard in my bathroom growing up. Put it up there. Excelsior, yeah. Here it comes.

So, Excel, do you think Excel? That's it, that's how it's about. Yeah. Excel comes from that? Accelerate, Excel, he's excelling. You're assuming that Excelsior was the first. Listen, I'm not. Now, we're gonna find it again. I'm not a linguistics specialist. Alright. But it'll be X day. Instead of your B day. X day.

Alright. I like. Alright. Can we have the X games? No, no. No, no. Alright. Excelsior. Uh let's go. And then everyone screams huzzah. Hzzah! on that day! that's right hip hip huzzah! bill? three huzzahs three huzzahs! 38 what's going on new york city as well first of all big fan love you guys so much love the podcast thank you so much for all the info and all the entertainment

thank you we'll see you over at caroline's in a month or so are you going to caroline? i think so hang on a. Hang on a second. Hang on a second, Bill. How come you and I never do that together? Well, I don't know. We're doing a, I don't know. We'll do it. We're just doing a live podcast.

I think, here's my proposal. You and I do a week in New York. You want to do it? Because it's too long. Bill, I got a life. Yes, and Adam, I just want to tell you, I think that Brian Callan is 100% right. I'm a huge fan of stand-up comedy,

but nobody is doing or can do what you do off the cuff, man, with their prepared material. You're really amazing. Wow. Thank you so much. Yeah. You mean Adam's tuning his own horror? I really shouldn't be teary-eyed.

No, no, Brian Callan. Tune in my own horror. Well, you know who gave you the best compliment? Remember the best? You may, of course, will not remember this, but the best compliment I heard you get was from Bobcat. Remember this? He said he liked coming on the show, Love Line, back then,

because he would sit and watching you work, it was like watching you channel. Like you're a channeler, you're channeling this stuff from somewhere else. It's interesting, I thought that was a high compliment. It was nice. No, what these guys, yeah, yeah, what they were basically saying is why so much praise for stand-up comedians who

prepare, hone, work, write, sometimes buy jokes from other people, and why no love for the guys that are doing it real time, which is a sort of, it's sort of a higher difficulty level, I guess is what it would be. All right, Bill. Thank you. You're very welcome.

I well deserve it. So my deal is that because of listening to a couple of years of the podcast, I used to think I was just kind of a dick, but now I believe that I have hypervigilance like you do and help me identify it. Well, Adam's also a dick in addition to hypervigilance, but you're just like, yeah. Me too. Well, me's also a dick in addition to hypervigilance. I mean, I don't mean no in a defensive and serious way but I just mean it does turn you into a dick because

You see the way people go through life lead their life how they respond you know how they sort of how they how they how they focus on themselves and so on and so forth and it how they focus on themselves and so on and so forth. And it bothers you that, you know, I'm sitting here taking a piss at an airport and the guy hasn't bothered to flush the toilet and so there's a big frothy yellow pot waiting for me. And it's like, I'm smelling what this guy had for lunch and he's a dick.

I'm not a dick. He's a dick. You don't scream stuff out the way the rest of us do. No, not at all. I answer for other people all the time. And we went on a bike ride last weekend with about 20 guys. With that crew? Yes.

And I'd be hearing guys in the back yelling toward the guys in the front, you know? Nate. You know, I just hear this, Nate. I'd be riding next to Nate. You know, Nate. And I'd be riding next to Nate. And then I'd say, Nate.

Yeah? Someone's calling you from behind you. Now, I don't're riding next to Nate and then I say, Nate! Yeah? Someone's calling you from behind you. Now, I don't know why I'm pointing that out to you, but you've not only figured out a way to tune out most things, you're tuning out your own name at this point. It's pretty insane. But anyway. So, yes. So my specific question deals with, I i'd be too bad if you can't help me with the coping strategy for here in new york i you know i've developed coping strategies for uh... you know i think

that used to affect me you know i people in the movie theater bother me so i just want to meet at home now but i cannot avoid taking the subway to and from work and people being loud or food or even just laughing loudly sets me off and there's nothing that I can really do. As loud as I put the music up in the headphones, as loud as I turn up the podcast, I can still hear them through the earbuds and I want to just kind of go over to them and say, hey,

why don't you just shut the f up? Okay, Bill, that's something very different than what Adam has. Thank you. That's irrit very different than what Adam has. Thank you. That's irritability. That's irritability. Well, there's a connection. There's a connection, but you don't get irritable. In fact, you kind of turn inward and get quiet.

Well, but here's the thing. When you're trying to sleep and the water's dripping in the sink, eventually, if you have hypervigilance, you cannot sleep and then you do become irritable. Now, you take a crowbar to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and

you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and you're trying to sleep and water's dripping in the sink, eventually if you have hyper vigilance you cannot sleep and then you do become irritable. Now you taking a crowbar to the sink is

probably not the best way to do it. I would argue that you do not get irritable when somebody laughs loud. In fact, loud things don't bother you. No, I don't move. In fact, what bothers you is somebody whispering in the corner and other people not noticing that the guy whispering in the corner saying I'm having chest Pain. Yeah, but Bill here look here's what you have You know the good news is you're tuned in the bad news is you're tuned in in a world that is tuned out And that's the problem so yet. I go through my life honking at people telling them to turn right on a red It's okay to turn right. There's no cars coming, and they're like, what?

I'm like, go ahead, turn. And I go, uh, yeah, that's what I, now I wanna get somewhere, so yes, I am irritated. In that instance, what you need to do is honestly, turn your lemons into lemonade, which is, I write books, they're all filled with these observations. I have an outlet. I literally carry around a

buck slip and I start jotting things down and then I come on to a podcast and I purge. You don't have a podcast, but you're obviously an intelligent guy because I think this is connected to intelligence or conveniently I think this is connected to intelligence. Conveniently, I think this is connected to intelligence because dull people don't have this. So what do you do for a living, Bill? I'm an editor and producer. All right. Well, good. All right. Hold on.

Take this observation that you have and these constant observations that you cannot stop from entering your brain. And let me tell you, there's tricks, obviously. For sleep, there's earplugs. There's eye shades. There's red wine. There's knock it down. Took me years to figure out, I need an eye shade to sleep.

I need earplugs to sleep. I'm never asleep. So you can't screen out the stimuli. Yeah. Which he's trying to do with your earbuds. Yeah, I understand. I'm never asleep. So you can't screen out the stimuli. Yeah, go out and put your earbuds. Yeah, I understand. But after that, instead of being irritated by it and confronting it, look at yourself as a sociologist that's just walking around studying the human condition.

I find myself in moments where I'm literally just standing around studying human beings and studying their behavior and then you start writing them down and before you know it you have a book or you have something that you're producing or a documentary. I mean you're already in this business, you're already in New York. Take it and steer it down a creative path. Got it. Thanks. Hey I wanted to know if he had bipolar in his family because that's the other thing

that makes people like this. Real quick. Hey, Bill? Yes? Any bipolar disorder in your family? No. Mental health history is pretty good. All right.

Because you've got to watch out for a little high bipolarity that creates some of that irritability. So anyway. I don't have any of that. I mean, my parents. You're not irritable. Oh, that's right. I think I am irritable. Not like that.

You work yourself into irritability. You have indignation. You have outrage. And then that makes you irritable. But you don't hear a sound and go, stop it! The loud sound, you'll screen out, and you'll hear the gnat farting in the corner. Yes, it does screen out.

And that will bother you that other people don't hear the net. No, I have little things that bother me for instance Little things like there's no such thing as a sprinkler system that works. Oh, that's true It's like we is that we we can fucking take a space shuttle and send it up to orbit and have it land and We have it, you know people that rest kind of doing over time it's an irrigation system we have to water everything in this sprinklers but what I'm saying is is 40 years ago sprinklers were around and there was no such thing as a cell phone that's but now quiet there's a cell phone that has a computing power of the first Gemini rocket system tenfold, but the

sprinklers are still the same. They get out of adjustment, the heads bust off, they get fucked up, they're a mess, and the sprinklers, because we're in California, they always set them to go off at night, and they set them to go off at night because the sun's down and it doesn't evaporate and so on and so forth but of course I had the drip system and the sprinkler system whatever it took all of three weeks before one of them was just squirting my dead den window every night at eight o'clock right now every night at eight o'clock just spraying the dead well I know it no one else who lives in the house is aware of it of course so that would never happen

so it's spraying the den window every single night. It's like somebody taking a hose and spraying the den window. And I say, tell the gardener we need to get this taken care of. And a month goes by. And then I say this, listen, here's what you tell the gardener. I don't give a fuck about the water. When are they here? Are they here at noon on Tuesdays?

You know when I want the sprinklers to go off? 12, 25 on Tuesdays. I want them here while the sprinklers are going off. I want them to see how everything's spraying over the thing onto the driveway, missing, you know, there's the one I get my pants wet because when I get out of my car at 9 o'clock it's spraying on all over the driveway and I want them here to experience it. So, tell them to reset the timer, set it for whatever time they're here, and then every week they will know if the shit's spraying all over the driveway or if it's spraying all over the window.

But yes, the fact that there's no such thing as a sprinkler system that works, I built the house and just put cactus and rocks around it because there's no such thing as it, and it cannot be done. It cannot be done. I was in a house that was built in the 40s, 50s growing up, and you'll remember this. They had those metal, those metal sprinklers,

a little thing would pop up and spray a fan. Galvanized, yeah. Galvanized metal, it was pipe. Yeah, threaded. Metal pipe and threaded pipe and plumbing. Right. Those worked like a mother effer. Yeah.

They never had a problem. Yeah. And then everyone got the PVC thing, the plastic, a mess. And everyone started with these drip lines and all this kind of stuff and it's always a fucking disaster. But that kind of stuff where, you know, we could live in this house and it could just spray my window and by the way, ruin and rot the wood a fucking disaster. But that kind of stuff where we could live in this house

and I could just spray my window, by the way, ruin and rot the wood on the window. But what happened to the pipe? What happened to the metal? You can't even find that shit anymore, can you? No, it's too cost prohibitive. Why? Cost prohibitive, you're replacing the plastic every day.

People would rather, first off, when everything's new, there's the promise that it's going to work, number one. Number two, people would rather pay an initial lower price and get in. Anyway, and also, it's that labor thing. It used to just be, I don't know, drunken Irish guys would do everything for free. All right, Tommy? Yeah, hey, I had a question for Dr. Drew mainly. Dr. Drew, I read this book that said a lot of people are vitamin D3 or I guess vitamin D deficient. And the same book said that vitamin D3 also helps boost testosterone in men. It might.

So, and I guess that's measured in IU's like on your blood level. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, here's your 22 years old for Christ's sake. You're as healthy as healthy can be. Why are you worrying about any of these things? You should be worrying about exercising hard and taking lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, eating adequate protein and. How much of the sun stuff, Drew? I have this, I have this, you know.

One foot of twins, you look so weird. I don't know, Tommy, don't stop it. But the bottom line, everyone could stand to take a little more divided media, at least a thousand I use a day would be helpful, but certainly in your 40s you want to start then, for sure. All the sunscreen and all the big brimmed hats and all the, you know, stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun, stay out of the sun. Yeah. I feel there is an orb that comes up into the sky almost every day, and we probably need a certain amount. A certain amount of it.

Yeah, yeah. And I don't know, you know, we always talk about the no free lunch in nature, but there are unintended circumstances or outcomes where there's like too much and then not enough. I know everyone is berserk with the sunscreen. They're berserk. My feeling is a certain amount of sun exposure, not laying out in the sun in Palm Springs all day. I'm talking about walking to the car, walking back. Dermatology, you put that sunscreen on, you put it on every day, you put it on before you leave the house. I'm not a farmer. I'm wearing a hat.

But I'm walking to the car, then I'm going to park the car, get hit by the sprinkler for a minute at my house, then I'm going to walk to my house. I'm not dodging the sun. I think a certain amount of exposure to that is good. Well, that's how you convert the D into the active form of D, is with the sun. Is with the sun. Yeah. And so yeah, we need a certain amount of that.

But you get plenty of that in this part of the country, even with sunscreen on. So it's not that big a deal down here. All right, we have one more birth control. That's right. Charlie. Hey, you guys. Drew, your hero, Adam, a genius. Thank you.

Saw you condoms for years and no issues at all. Happy X Day. Talking to me and Drew. Oh, yeah. That's your new X Day. What would your X Day be, Charlie? What would yours be, Charlie? Oh, what would yours be actually? Hmm. Geez, man. Well, first off, I take multiple days.

You have multiple days. I'll take when I won the Toyota Grand Prix as a celebrity and as a pro. Those would be different days. Let's just do the pro one. That's a better one. OK. If you want it, we'll round down that way. All right. But I might pick multiple days, you it, we'll round down that way. All right. But I might pick multiple days, you know. Eventually I'd get to my twins' birth. Eventually. Guys, love you both.

You've come for years. No issues. What is your X day? Wednesday. What is your highest? Your day of highest? What is the highest achievement you've had in your life? All right, seriously, my highest achievement ever.

Oh my gosh, guys, you've got to put me on the spot like that. Hang on. Did you graduate college? Yeah, I graduated college. But I mean, I always wanted to be an airline pilot my whole life. The first day I ever landed at Chicago O'Hare in a 70 seat airliner, I slammed it down so hard that they had to check the airplane for damage. But still that was still a highlight.

That was a highlight of my life. You set a large multi-engine plane down at O'Hare. That's a big deal. Yeah, for United Express, like a small regional carrier. Yeah, that's a rough landing though. That's a big deal though. Yeah, but it was the coolest thing. It was my first one ever, paying passengers on board.

Nobody had any idea. And after I landed, the captain was like, yeah, it was your first officer, first landing. We didn't want to tell you until we landed. Oh, nice. They don't tell you that when you're flying at them. Adam, and I love your flying stories by the way keep them coming Yeah, that could be the pilots first landing. Oh No, listen. I got this thing that I don't like the other day on South wet or an Alaska or like

Hey from the flight deck I'm first officer Doug. I find a co-pilot Steve's here. It's like Doug Steve I'm fucking captain Johnson. Yeah, I don't want the fucking I don't want a guy named Doug flying I don't want to be that intimate with that guy went captain so-and-so with 32 Honestly We're in this thing now where everything has to be informal and casual and kind of cool and hey, man I'm your best buddy. I don't want you to be my buddy. where everything has to be informal and casual and kind of cool. And hey man, I'm your best buddy.

I don't want you to be my buddy. I want you to be the captain. I don't want Doug. And then literally I wrote the names down. The names were like Doug and Steve were the guys' names. I don't want people to introduce that. I want captain and co-captain and mister and so and so. Do it.

Fine for the flight attendants, not for the guys flying the plane. All right. There you go. What was that date? You remember that date? Yeah, that was June 4th, 2012. It was pretty recently. Nice. Congratulations. So can I read you my question? Yeah. Should I read my question in my first officer voice? Yeah. Go ahead. Should I ask you my question in my pilot voice over a break in my PA voice? I said yes. Please. First of all, what's your last name? Hill Brandon. United 27, fly maintained, $1,500. Now, he's talking to the people in the cab.

$1,500, United 27. Oh, yeah, very good. OK. Drew, go ahead. No, go ahead. You go ahead. I'm sorry. I screwed up something.

Flight deck. Used to use condoms for years. No issues. Wife had always been on the birth control pill. Decided to take her it for increased sex drive, better orgasms, et cetera. Overall, happier, positive outlook on life is what she's got.

Now I've got a weird part of my Johnson with bumps on it. On the end of it, I think I have a latex allergy. Dr. Drew, what's the best option that won't sacrifice those positive effects of taking her off the birth control pill? Okay, one thing, one thing. I'll need the wind and direction. Yeah, I got a pretty good tailwind on our way to.

No, no, landing, landing. Nah, let him finish. Why do they give the wind at landing to the passengers every fucking time they go on the speeder? Because they give the weather in Los Angeles. But they give the wind at landing. Why do you think the passengers care about the wind when you're landing?

Pretty good wind out of the, yes. How we doing? It's not, you gotta give's not. Okay, here's the deal, Charlie. You wouldn't suddenly develop a latex allergy. Have you been using them for a while? You know, since I was 17, I'm not sexually active. No, no, you don't suddenly develop latex allergies, really. I mean, it's possible, but unlikely. It's more that you just wonder if it's some sort of like a mechanical problem. Have you tried the polyurethane condoms or you tried the so-called animal skin? I have not when you write that down. There's two different, there's three different kinds out there. There's latex, there's natural skin,

they'll call them, which actually probably what you ought to get, and then the latex. And good, good on you for understanding the birth control pill does affect your wife's sex drive, lubrication, mood, and orgasmic function. It can affect all that. So... It's monumental. Getting her off of it was a huge change in her life and thereby ours. But here's another thing you said might be mechanical.

I have experimented with like cock pumps or stuff like that that increase vascularity or whatever you'd call it, blood flow, and that might be what's causing those bumps. That would make more sense to me. Okay. So, but again, if you want to learn more about the effects of birth control, I did two, at DrRudyor.com, two podcasts with Andrew Goldstein, episode numbers for Dr. Goldstein, where he goes into great detail about the effects of these birth control pills that are so commonly

prescribed these days. Half the women on earth are having side effects that are unpleasant for sexual functioning, and no one's talking about it. So it's something that you can learn a lot about there. All righty then. Until next time. This is Adam Kroll for Dr. Chris Maxpanic, Gary Half-Tard Sand, ma am Patrick. Patrick is me. Oh, Forrest Gump, come on. Criminal Minds, solving crime after bedtime.

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