The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Don't Put Words In Adam's Mouth (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: March 9, 2024

In this episode, Adam doesn't like when people speak for him, news reporting is a lost art and Adam talks about his daughter slanging Amazon Cards.

Welcome to another episode of the Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics. I am your host, Big Brother Jake, a.k.a. Jake Warner, or government name. Let's dive right in. Out first, episode 1045, titled, Well, Now You're Getting Fired, Fatass. It always makes me laugh. Adam talks with Dr. Drew about how upset he gets when people tell him he didn't say something when he knows he said it. It's one of his pet peeves, to the point he's willing to fire people over it.

Take a listen. We were talking about our wives handling financial affairs and things, and you brought something up to Lynette, and she said, a trick, trick question. And behind that is though that you're wrong or something you're bringing up is sort of inaccurate, which is what we're – normal people are used to. But we're not used to taking somebody at whatever they say at their word necessarily without questioning it. You understand? People – I kind of marvel at this a lot, which is people are way too pre-wired or easily triggered to say things to me or anyone else that are kind of fly in the face of what is. And what I'm saying, I don't think they know what they're saying. I give everyone forgiveness because I don't think,

I think they're doing things from a reactionary standpoint or a... Can I... Well, let me just say, let me just finish this thought. Would you like a little vocabulary lesson? Yes. Reactive. Reactionary means like conservative, like you're trying to roll things back to a previous era. Oh, reactionary?

People always use that term wrong. Sorry. Reactive. Gary, look it up just to make sure what exactly... Oh, we've talked about this before, and I think I remember you being right. Sorry. Thank you. Reactionary. What's it say? Reactive. Reactionary.

Political science. Go to the definition. There we go. Opposing political or social reform. It's sort of reactionary means going to dial it back, dialing it back to a previous era. Right. Reactive. Yeah.

I was trying to think of – yes, I used that wrong. What I was trying to think of was reflective, which is like I was standing out front of the studio a few days ago, and I was talking to Kalen about pulling a Bill Maher clip. And they're both clips I played for you a couple of days ago. I said, there's one of Bill Maher. This is sort of in a rush before the show. I said, there's one of Bill Maher.

And Bill Maher's saying, hey, I don't need the Mueller report. I know there's collusion. I have a TV set. I'm sort of paraphrasing. And then after that, one of his guests, the girl says, I know it's all doom and gloom, but there are some good things. And so I go, grab those two clips. They're in the same, I don't know, 30-second time period, 20 minutes into the show. Go find them.

Get them ready. Okay. Okay. Later on, he has the Bill Maher statement. And I said, then what about the one with the guest, the girl? When she gives her, it's not all doom and gloom. And he said, oh, I just got the something something. And I said, what about, I told you to get the girl who does the doom and gloom one and he said you never told me that and I thought I don't know why you're saying that to me because I did say it to you you don't remember it would it be acceptable to you if somebody said I didn't remember you said that that's perfectly acceptable

and then I yell at whoever says that to me don't say that to me don't think that way I stood there and I told you those two things you don't remember one of them you didn't have a notepad you weren't writing it down that's not really your fault because i just told you come here so you're basically like a waiter and i'm going here's my order and you didn't have your pad on you and that's fine you some people many people can only process so much information but don don't tell the guy who ordered, you didn't say coleslaw.

Yeah. By the way, how many times have you guys been to a restaurant where you said to someone, the order comes back and you go, oh, I asked for no mayonnaise on this. You said extra mayonnaise. Of course I didn't say that. How could I say that? If I didn't want mayonnaise, can you guys think of the last time you didn't say that right how could i why would i if i didn't want mayonnaise can you guys think of the last time you didn't want something but you just said give me extra that

thing i don't like it's a weird it's a weird thing to sort of say to the person you never said that like i said it i will accept i forgot or i didn't hear that part or I didn't process it or I was confused. But they go, you didn't say that. I fired. I fired my pool man. Well, Lynette fired my pool man. Well, it took a while. I fired the pool guy because we had a bunch of rain, a a bunch of floods a bunch of leaves and a bunch of

stuff and it literally created this ring of broken leaves and soot around the pool just around the pool and i went out there like when he was there on a wednesday and i said oh do i need to say anything but i just went, hey, man, the pool, the leaves got a ring around it. So make sure and get that off. And then he goes, yeah, okay. And then I went back in the house. And then the following week after he showed up or whatever, or after he left, I came back home that night or whatever. And the ring was just around the pool.

And I was like, you got to be kidding me. I mean, I literally went out and like pointed at it didn't reform no no nothing and no need to be raining and bloody and then the next week he came back and i went out to him and i said hey man last week you were here i told you get this ring off around the pool and he said you didn't say that oh jesus and i was like goodbye so yeah all right well now you're getting fired fat ass like okay first off i did secondly i'd be the worst person in the world if i didn't say anything and then just came out and said hey remember i told you this although i was gone like you also have to think that makes me an insane and bad person like all right you're right i never left the house i makes me an insane and bad person. Like, all right, you're right.

I never left the house. I'm insane. I'm cruel, by the way. Like, I hate pool men. But you know what I said to him? I did tell you, but I shouldn't have had to tell you anything. You're the pool man. You're supposed to clean the pool.

So I did tell you, but even if I didn't, you still can do your job right like clean the scub around the pool so um i did what uh what a man would do i marched back in the house and told my wife to fire his ass well done sure she enjoyed that no then i had an insane no then i had one of the most insane conversations i ever had in my life. Oh, I got to hear this. Oh, it's one of the best. Oh, wait. What do I got here?

Sorry. Let me do it. I got one. You do it. In my many endeavors, I've had the opportunity to help people with aches and pains as well as physical and mental issues. Blue Emu has been trusted by Americans for over 15 years to support healthy muscles and joints. They have now produced an Amazon coupon code made specifically for our audience. Go to Amazon today. Use the code 3DREW for a $3 off coupon. It's simple. Go to Amazon. Search for

Blue Emu. Add to cart. Apply the code, and that code is 3DREW. Blue Emu, B-L-U-E-D-A-S-H-E-M-U, has a large portfolio of products, all American-made and of the highest quality. I recommend the deep penetrating formula of Blue Emu Original for soothing tired muscles and pains, Maximum Arthritis for any arthritic pain, and the lidocaine as a numbing pain reliever. I see you have the numbing pain reliever right here. I'm using it. Yeah. Not only do these formulas work great, but there's no chill, no burn, no odor.

Use this opportunity to support your muscles and joint. The code is 3. That's number 3, Drew, D-R-E-W. So I think Lynette disputes this or maybe did dispute it, but I'm pretty good at capturing conversations. The next week, I'd return from like walking the dog dog and I spotted the pool man in the backyard with his back to me like at the other end I said Lynette was home and I said is that our old pool guy she said this guy's wearing a different hat I said well you know you can I've been known to change a hat in seven days' time.

It could happen. I mean, a master disguise. Yeah, of course. Not regular folk can't do it. We know that about you, yes. But like a master disguise could switch hats. And she said, I don't know. This guy's a little heavier set.

I go, I don't know. Our last guy was pretty heavy set. I don't know. I don't think it's him. I said, I think it's him. And then at a certain point, certain point i just turned her and i go did you fire the old guy and she goes nope well now i'm almost i'm almost sure almost there's i'm leaving a little window of opportunity of negligence here but i'm pretty sure it's that guy now. I think she has a different version of the story, but that's the way I recall it.

Go ahead and fire him right then. That seems like you. No, no. We were both hiding behind a sofa. We're scared. You have to hide from the people who work at your house. I see. Don't you know that?

No, I didn't know that. You know another move where you walk into your house and there's a big sliding door and you see the gardener out there and you're like, ah, you got to hide. He may see you. It's weird, huh? You don't have that? No. Oh, I have that relationship with everyone in my yard.

You don't hide from people in your yard? I don't. I really don't. But then they- They see you then. They see you. Yeah, it's weird. They may want to have eye contact.

I know, or have a conversation. They may want something, Drew. Oh, hey, man, you going to finish that sandwich? Also, they may judge, like, geez, I'm on my third house, and you're in your sweatpants? What's going on? You got the hiv? You know what I'm saying?

You want to avoid that, Drew? You going right to HIV? You hide. You hide like I do. Sweatpants mean HIV? You're going right to HIV? You hide. You hide like I do. Sweatpants mean HIV? You're walking around in plain sight like a coward. Oh, yeah, that's true. You hide with the nobleman.

Okay. See, I don't have the big windows like you do. Oh, those big windows. That's trouble. I don't like that. Not at all. Now, sometimes you think they're looking at their own reflection. You know what I'm saying?

But you don't know, and you can't chance it. Welcome back, and thanks for tuning in to the Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics. Up next, we go to episode 1026, titled, You're Talking to the wrong ombre which aired on march 7th 2019 adam and dr drew discuss how the art of news reporting has changed drastically and how the views of real life issues can be skewed in today's media check it out when i we were talking about the press and what's going on and the old jesse smollett thing from you know see i don't blame jesse i think jesse's was shocked that the press ran with it the way they did. That they took it and went insane with it.

I think he had a record dropping in two days where the content of his record was exactly what happened to him. He did? Yeah. He did a publicity stunt and the press went insane. Then he doubled down. That was insane. Well, I disagree to some degree, but but which is this there's a couple things

i i don't think people really understand life yeah which is to say like if you're the press if you're the press your job is to be part stenographer part part detective. Yeah, but big part stenographer, please. And big part detective. I would argue the detective piece is some of the press. The majority of them should be. No, but I need you to realize, like, here's the thing. This guy was jumped by two guys and beaten in the street. Yeah.

There's a small, fine scratch under one of his eyes that looks as if he was playing with his kitten. His kitten pawed at him. It's also the kind of thing that a professional wrestler would bring a razor blade in and make a little mark and just bleed out a lot. Yeah. That is not beaten in the streets. Kind of. Kind of. Hung by a rope.

Well, not hung by a rope well not hung by rope but had the rope runs but when when you are beaten in the streets like when there's stuff that go you know when two guys jump you and two beat you not not to get your cell phone away from you but to beat you yeah there's things there's black eyes there's broken noses there's there's scraped up elbows and scraped up knees you You know what I mean? Like there's a thing that happens when somebody physically attacks you on the street. They're trying to harm you. Times two.

Yes, trying to harm you. Right. Intent to harm. So first things first, you taking a picture where you're pouting does not mean that's not that's not an orbital socket i want i want to see an x-ray of a cracked orbital socket or whatever that thing where your eye has a big blood mark in the middle of the white of the eye or the black eye or whatever whatever it is orbital fracture yeah a guy who was smacked on uh the campus of uc berkeley guy threw a straight punch, hit him right in the face. That guy's got a shiner because somebody hit him.

That's the way the human body works. So first things first, you, you were beaten in the streets, but you don't really have any marks of a beating. And then you were literally popping and locking on stage. Boy, did I jinx Lynette. Not only the whole marriage thing, but the funniest thing ever.

Like I said to, so I went into the bedroom and I was watching him at his, four days after the incident, he was at is rallying he was explaining to people that you can't hold them down and he fought back and he he did he did he did everything and yeah we just watched a guy get punched in the face what was that what was he punched for he was a are you sitting down we found the one violent violent person who hates Donald Trump who attacked a guy who was a Trump supporter on the campus of UC Berkeley. I know all the violence is coming from the Trump people, but this is the one instance, the only instance where the person who was the Trump supporter was actually beaten by the non-Trump supporter. So the one. So this guy Smollett's up on stage and he's popping and locking and in between his inspirational speeches about himself and how he fought back and how he's the gay Tupac and everything else. And I just looked at it and I said, when you get your rib cracked, fractured rib, you're

not popping and locking. You're having trouble going to the bathroom. Like you're holding your side while you're lurching to the bathroom. And I said, hey, Sonny Lynette, this stuff happened. You know, I played enough football. You get your ribs bruised. You have a lot of trouble sitting up in bed without a lot of pain um this is not that and then it's like oh well it was he didn't get his

rib look when somebody attacks you and punches you in the ribs you have a lot of trouble breathing yes uh of course sunny and italian never had bruised ribs well i said it's exquisitely painful and last on your list is dancing and but four or five days later, Lynette was going down the driveway, was going on a ride with Sonny. Grabbed the front brake of the bike or something too hard or whatever. Went over the handlebars. Oh, no. Bruised a rib and has been walking around like,

Oh, it's so hard to sit up and it's hard to breathe and it's don't make me laugh. It hurts my rib. And it's like, oh, it's so hard to sit up and it's hard to breathe and it's don't make me laugh. It hurts my rib. And it's like, oh, it's funny. I was literally illustrating to the person that's never had a bruised rib how global this is. You bruise your rib. It's not like your ankle sore. It's like your whole being is sore.

So first off, in terms of journalism, you were jumped by two dudes in the street and beaten you fought back where's the black guy where is the cracked rib like where's the x-rays where's the scuffs and ding you know where where those abrasions you have on your elbows your knees your forehead when like two dudes jump on top of you. I mean, where is that stuff? They would have just gone, oh, these were cowards who were just trying to make a point. They threw bleach on him and put a rope around his neck. Putting a rope around someone's neck who's evidently fighting back to having a rope put around your neck? Well.

Unless you really hold them down. There's going to be a mark. Yeah. Something on your neck. Something. I'm just saying, first things first i i i'm sorry but a very slight sort of razor thin mark with a little dried blood on it that could have been done with your pinky nail is not really the aftermath of a beating if you want to see what guys look like

who've been beaten, there are plenty of guys who've been beaten. That ain't it. Just from that standpoint, Drew, then the other thing that's a little weird about it, as I'm thinking about it, it's like

when... Alright, so that's the press, but then when when the twitter sphere gets hold of it and you know people are talking about you know maxine waters like he was my friend we were good friends and i was like really we're friends was everyone that's not everyone was friends with him and now no one's friends with him right you guys were friends hey there was another i didn't hear his name come up very often when he spoke another interesting point um my friend tyrus black guy he said he goes to me he goes throwing bleach on a black guy there's no white supremacist on earth that's ever done that they want to hate you for your dark skin they

don't want the light in your skin but there's a thing, he said, in the community, that happens sometimes as an insult. Isn't that interesting? That is interesting. I would not have known that. They were going to, I think they were going to start with gasoline, and then they downgraded to bleach. So the story goes, but again, I don't know. Don't you look, doesn't that look like something?

Bleach gets in your eyes. Smells like something. Teen spirits, but it smells like – all right. Let me tell you about LifeLock. Recently, 127 million stolen records containing email addresses, usernames, passwords went up for sale on the dark web. I bet Gary could get to the dark web. I don't know how to get to the – I don't know how to get to the, I don't know how to do that.

I'm too pure. Use something called Tor. Tor. Well, let's not do that. Let's protect ourselves. Let's use something called LifeLock, people. The dark web provides anonymous access to illegal items and services like drugs,

weapons, and stolen user data. So many ways cyber criminals can take what's yours. Good thing LifeLock Identity Theft Protection adds the power of Northern Security to help protect against threats to your devices you can't easily see or fix on your own. If there's a problem, they'll work to fix it. Right, Drew? That's right. No one can stop every identity theft or all cyber crime or monitor transactions at all

businesses, but LifeLock with Northern Security can see threats you might miss on your own. That's right. No one can stop every identity theft or all cyber crime or monitor transactions at all businesses. But LifeLock with Northern Security can see threats you might miss on your own. Go to LifeLock.com or call 100 LifeLock. Use promo code Adam for an extra 10% off your first year. That's promo code Adam at LifeLock.com for an extra 10% off. I just found a new story. Here is the headline. Michigan gay rights activist sets fire to his own home to fabricate a hate crime authorities are accusing Jolie who was named citizen of the year by the Jackson citizen patriot last year of having set fire to his own home killing his pets two dogs and three cats

yeah listen here's what I know um I know what I know through sort of traveling through life. You know what I'm saying, Drew? Yeah. It's the imbalance. There's a supply and demand problem in victims. Yeah. It's like just because Jaws comes out doesn't mean there's more shark attacks. Right.

Right. because Jaws comes out doesn't mean there's more shark attacks. Now, you'd like there to be more shark attacks because Jaws came out, but it doesn't mean there is. You know what I mean? And I think basically since Trump became president, we would like this to be the nation we're living in because we keep saying that's the nation we're living in. And when it doesn't become the nation we're living in, we then make it the nation we're living in, which is what you're living in, which I don't live in that nation because I just walk around and look, observe, and I don't see it.

I'm not everywhere at once. I don't see that. I don't see that's our society. We'll be right back with more of the Adam and Dr. Drew show classics. We are back with the final clip of this episode. We go back to episode 976 titled there would have been streaming. This aired on December 4th, 2018. Adam talks about how his daughter was selling Amazon cards back to him for cash and that some of the staff was involved.

Oh, wow. We have to hear this. What Natalia did with her cyber scam is, so it was our own Chris Maxipata's birthday last week or the week before, whatever. And it was sometime. Yeah. So I'm the boss and I got to get him a gift. So I noticed I got a lot of gift cards floating around the house.

I mean, I got food gift cards. I got, I think you can get a free shake at Steak and Shake with another gift card. Oh, I saw you handing out gift cards last week, so you re-gift carded. I got an Amazon gift card. I got a pile of cards. Yeah. So I came in there, and I said, hey, Max Petta, happy birthday, my brother. I handed him a bunch of gift cards.

I saw that. I saw it. And then I started thinking about, you know, the sloppy seconds aspect of it. Now, the one and the best gift card was the Amazon gift card

worth $100. Earlier that week, Natalia had cashed out that gift card to me. She wanted to go to the mall and go shopping. She said, can I have $100? Sheesh. I said, $100?

She said, I got a gift card. I'll give you this Amazon gift card that Uncle Jimmy got me for $100. $20 gift card. No. $100 gift card. And I gave her $100. Okay. Exchange. It's an exchange. Fair enough. We had a tough emotional exchange as well. And? I went and got cash. I laid the cash out. I'll tell you, you're going to go to the poor house when you give up the cash. I've given up talking to my family about things or anything to do with life. Nobody in my house is into any of my here's what benefits you in life discussions.

I can imagine. Yeah, it's pretty well, pretty roundly rejected. But I got out the cash. I said to Natalia, you know where I got this cash? And the reason I said it is because last time I was on the road, I got the cash from selling merchandise, T-shirts and books and stuff, you know, after the show. I was going to try to send a little message to her that in between shows, Daddy sells merchandise out in the lobby of the hotel or the comedy club. I said, you know where I got this cash? And she said, Uncle Jimmy.

It was funny because she was cashing in her Amazon. I guess in her world, all the money just comes from Jimmy. In a weird way, it's sort of true. It is sort of true. So she gave me her Amazon gift card. I cashed her out for $100. She went and spent it at the mall. I then gave everything to Max Apata.

I then started thinking. I did some soul searching. And I thought, you know, he's a semi-valued employee. And I just gave him all these sloppy seconds, the steak and shake and the Amazon and another gift card. And I said, you know what? Let's do them upright. Let's give him a $500 gift card from Amazon. And I did that. And while i was urinating earlier

today he said thank you and i said thank you he peeked his head in yep and i said uh fan on or not but i am going to need back all those other gift cards i gave you i hope you're kidding well i gave him a 500 amazon gift card he doesn't need the fucking steak and shake anymore. So I said, give me back the other gift cards. And he said, well, I tried the Amazon gift card. There's nothing on it. And I said, it's expired? And he said, no, it's been used. So Natalia used it up.

Smart. And then sold it to me. I'll teach you. Smart. And then sold it to me. They'll teach you. Yes. Now, the thing that's crazy is if there was some version of that that transpired when I was young, people would be screaming.

Yes. Right? Yeah. I don't know what happened as a parent where I don't really care, but there would be screaming going on, right? Just the idea of a kid having a $100 card would have been astonishing. And then to have the kid misuse it and misrepresent it would be, huh, scandal.

You have to talk to the principal. I'm going to talk to Mr. Smith about this. Now, it was Jimmy's card, so it couldn't have been $20. It had to be $100, and it was just used up, right, Maxipata? And you did not give him back the rest of those cards, Chris, did you? I will. What were the other ones? It was a steak and shake coupon for a free shake.

A $30 coupon for HelloFresh on your first order. Yes, I need those. Very generous. I kind of need them tonight. You need them back because you should be fucking embarrassed if you ever handed them in the first place. And they're crumpled. They're all bent and shaped. It's the worst. I was happy.

What was the other one? Amazon, Starbucks. Oh, wow. Don't give that one back. I need that back. No, no, no. So we were discussing the kids. So you were developing a theory over the weekend that maybe a little impoverishment goes a long way to helping kids develop character and a sense of purpose and maybe a little something to prove.

Well, I had two theories i had that and what are we so stuck on zero to 18 for my real trauma started from 18 to 31 well you said that last week that you made clear in our in our what we were talking about on the show and the economic trauma that happened after it because before that you're just in school yeah when you're 25 and poor you know you're poor you're driving a piece of shit you're eating top ramen you're not getting laid like the guy's pulling up in convertible porsches and you're poor you know and when you're when i was in high school everyone was just in high school we didn't know i mean i i understood that there are people lived up in the hills that had more money than I did, but it doesn't mean they're having a better experience than I was. You know, I was playing sports.

I was sort of class clown. I was kind of laughing at something that was played on a podcast from years ago, but it's a thought that I hadn't visited. So I'll revisit it with you, which is the mixed message, the pretty kind of insane mixed message, which was having class clown as a designation in the yearbook for junior high and high school. I got it in high school, not in junior high, but also constantly being told to shut up and to stop being disruptive and to basically stop

speaking. Well, that's a pattern you stayed with way into your 30s, probably into your 40s. I remember on Loveline, that was the constant refrain to you, Adam, shut up. Right. But it was funny that there was a designation for best talker, essentially, in high school. But every single teacher, every report card I ever got was disruptive and talks and he's distracting and a F-U-U or a C-U-U or whatever I got, a D-U-U, like unsatisfactory, disruptive. But we'll have a class clown designation, and everyone should kind of strive to get it in the yearbook. You know, like it was kind of, you know, when you talk to my son, when I talk to Sonny or Natalia, I go, who's funny? And they'll go, oh, well, this guy.

Give me the power rankings. I'll go, okay, here's the power rankings of who the funniest is in the class. And then at some point, Sonny will slot himself in like at number nine. And Natalia will explain he hasn't cracked the top 50. And then an argument ensues. It's awesome. But there is a currency to class clowns so much. It's officially recognized by the makers of the yearbook at the school, which is –

Are you allowed to do that now? That's an interesting point. They certainly couldn't have best body and best physique and best looking and class flirt and like all the crazy stuff they would have when I was in junior high. But it's an interesting mixed message to get class clown and simultaneously be told to shut up every waking hour of your school existence. And I would argue a very tough mountain to climb to get the mantle of class clown while being told to shut up constantly. Nice. But it's true. Yes, when I did Love Line, I just carried on my high school days by being told to show.

By your boss. We did a talk show. It's one thing if you do a show and the show's on HVAC repair or something, and you're constantly telling personal stories about high school football or something. But we did a talk show, basically, and I was told to quiet down. It's like being shushed at a rave. That's all for this week. Thanks for listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics.

I've been your host, Big Brother Jake, host of the Big Brother Jake podcast on the Podcast One Network. Remember to check back each week for new episodes. And while you're at it, don't forget to like, subscribe, and rate us five stars wherever you get your podcasts. Deuces!