The Adam and Dr. Drew Show - Jim Jeffries (The Adam and Dr. Drew Show Classics)

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Adam and Drew sit down with comic Jim Jefferies, star of FX's Legit, to discuss why its harder to sell tickets in Los Angeles as well as the infuriating differences between today and the Elvis/Sinatra era. Later they discuss how tuned out people have become and examine some comments made about Adam by another radio host.

This is Corolla Digital. Recorded live at Corolla One Studios with Adam Corolla and board certified physician and addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky. You're listening to the Adam and Dr. Drew show. Yeah get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get on. Mandy get on. Thank you for joining us. I'm Adam Carolla. That is a good doctor, Dr. Drew. Jim Jefferies. Hey. Good to see you, Jim. Thanks for having me. Everyone loves Jim Jefferies. Not everyone. Everyone does because Jim's funny the show legit by the way it airs Thursdays 1030 on Fox and

FX oh shit. I mean FX. It's weird. You know my promise is just a new can't read you There's a great no no letter missing. Yeah. Yeah, that's part of the problem. No the abbreviations We have abbreviations for everything. So if you see Colorado at the end of the city, it just says CO. But you would say Colorado. So now I'm – I know it sounds like a lame excuse. It's owned by Fox. It's all the same company. That's good enough. On FX. That's what I mean. I don't even know what Fox is. Is that just Channel 11 out here anyway Drew's favorite show

yeah I get I get sort of on to something this is the one I'm on right now I love legit Drew is on a legit I saw you being very funny on Jimmy Kimmel live talking about legit and talking about casting DJ Qualls is is the special needs partner and and how that process went and I thought it'd be interesting to talk about. Well, I also just quickly on a note on that, I also talked about my mother being fat and getting deep vein thrombosis on a boat. And which is true, but there's a cruise ship. On a cruise ship. Yeah, on a boat.

She wasn't out crabbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was lying in bed too long. That's right. She was relaxing too hard and she didn't move and her legs clotted up. But which is the weird thing about being foreign is I think about, I go, okay, well they get Letterman in Australia and letter but they don't get Kimmel, right? So I can say what I want. I always forget about the internet. My mother rings up crying going, you just told the whole world that I was

Mom I didn't make the story up Well, not only you see what you're saying is like what you didn't count on is the internet But what you really didn't count on is all the assholes out there They'd love to share the bad news with everybody. Exactly. And those people need to be rounded up, put on an island, and then we do a nuclear test, or a Bikini Island style on them. Well, the asshole who did that was my brother,

who forwarded to my mom and said- Which brother, the cop or the businessman? The businessman, yeah, he forwarded. But the thing is, did he review it first? He watched it, he had a great time, and he said to me in a sneaky way, he goes, I thought mum would love it. And I said, why would she like that?

I'm talking about her being too fat to move on a boat. But you said that on the TV show too though. Yeah. She doesn't watch the TV show? No, the TV show doesn't air in Australia. She doesn't watch that. She doesn't watch your TV episodes. Oh, no, the episodes. No, I never mentioned that in the episode. Did I?

I mentioned that she's fat in the episode. You were poking at her. She couldn't get out of a chair. That's a make believe character on the TV show. Her mind. I can make an argument for that, but it's from reality. But she said she was very upset. And she goes, you told the whole world.

And I said, I didn't tell the whole world. I told, I don't know how many viewers. Maybe with people watching online, maybe 6 million people saw it. Maybe, I don't know many viewers maybe with like people watching online maybe six million people saw it maybe I don't know half the population of Australia right I think it's better is it better being Australia big place smallish population is it better being a bigger fish in a smaller pond? Well actually a huge pond with almost no fish in it. Yeah, like Australia like it's cool

Like like you mean like like work wise well, no, I'm like I'm from here, right and there's never been I've never done an interview with a local newspaper that says local boy makes good Oh, yes, you know what I mean? Cause I'm from here, nobody gives a shit. Yes. If you're from, it's a weird thing. And I'll tell you. They gave me, I did a cross to a morning show in Australia and they did the one with the TV screen behind us

with the Hollywood sign, a few palm trees waving. Like, and they asked me what I thought of the Oscars cause it was Oscar week because I was now their LA correspondent for Australia. And my mother watched it and she rang up and she said, oh, it looks like the weather's nice in LA today. And it really was just the TV screen behind me and I was in a closet.

Yeah. Right, with just an earpiece in and one camera, it was the most basic system ever. But yeah, it is that weird thing that, I was never big in Australia. I, my career took off in the UK, and then I came over here. And then it's only now that I'm getting sort of, I'm selling tickets in Australia or anything like that.

But it is. But it's a nice homecoming now. You do get articles. Yeah, homeboy, like, done good. Yeah, local boy done good. You know what was a weird one where I noticed it? It was very interesting. Probably about five, six American idols ago,

they had the beautiful woman who won it, who's now on that ABC show. I don't know. You'd have to be gay to know. Kelly Clarkson? Carrie Clarkson. No, it's not the Clarkson or the Underwood. It's the one who stars in that diva show that's on

Oh, yeah, the Alpers there the dark-haired one girl. Yeah, she different color. Yeah. Well figure tall one We'll figure her name. I smash smash smash. Yeah, okay. It's beautiful and I know she's from where I'm from which is to the valley. She's from Sherman Oaks I think she went to know McPhee Catherine McPhee She went to like Notre Dame High School or something. By the way, I know she's from where I'm from because when I interviewed her I went, hey, you're from the Valley. I'm from the Valley.

And she went, okay. Well no, it's the hot chicks do that. They don't go, hey, do you know Bob Johnson? Or what high school? She didn't ask me what high school I went to or anything. She's like, yeah. But that's what good looking people do. Fat people be like, who were you in high school?

Who would you play peewee football? You know this guy? Did you ever eat at the Outback Steakhouse over there on Sherman Way? She was out of the music programs, didn't attach herself to anything or any high school thing. It just means she's a hot chick and so what. It means she never attached herself to Adam. That's what she said meant by that.

No music programs. So she went to Notre Dame High School, right? Now I'm getting back long form to my local whatever. Well one of the kids, so they get down to, they do that thing where they get down to Final Three and they're going back to their hometown. And one of them's from you know Louisiana and some you know Shreveport or something you know some other parts in you know Alabama, little city in Alabama and and the whole town turns out like the whole fucking mall

and they show them they're coming to the mall and the whole mall is filled. It's you know six stories and they're hanging over the railing and they're all going nuts and the mayor's giving them the key to the city and the whole nine yards. And I remember thinking, what are they gonna do with Catherine McPhee? Cause she's from here and no one here gives a fuck. They're all illegals or they're all Armenian

and they don't give a fuck and nobody from around here, again, she's not gonna get any local love. I can go to Seattle and sell out the Moore theater that's 2,000 seats I can't sell out the El Portal which is 375 seats down the street from where I grew up that's how little we give a shit about stuff it's so funny so everyone else's so at the mall or at the courthouse standing in front of at the throngs it's like they won the Super Bowl like the next day you know like they're having the parade. She went back to Notre Dame and stood in the gymnasium.

And I know what they did. They did a mandatory, everybody file into the gymnasium, like they would do during the school election. And there was like 600 bored kids sitting in the, sitting in the things. No signs, no. No, nothing. She was like, oh, if they were they were signs or one that Simon Cowell

painted right and handed to everybody there but there's zero enthusiasm and that's kind of what this town is it is it is hard to sell tickets see I sold doubly amount of tickets in any other city easily right yeah easy and what is that drew it's just that we're too cool for school you're also so many options, too much going on.

I think you can see a lot of quality, especially when it comes to stand-up. You can see a lot of big names stand-up comedians for free just popping in. Because I go do the clubs when I want to work out new material. And I think you get desensitized to celebrity or someone coming to your town. Also, my theory too is half of Los Angeles doesn't speak English. Like, I mean, I'm talking about half. I'm not about 25%. I mean, if they don't speak English, they're not interested. I mean, you go out, I'll put it to you this way. Okay. You go out and in Pittsburgh when the Steelers are playing and they're playing in the Super Bowl or the playoffs,

the streets are empty. There's nobody fucking, there's no business going on. Everyone's either at a sports bar or at home watching their Steelers. There's no such identity here for anything. No, no, it wouldn't matter if it was the Dodgers or the Lakers, they have fans. But you'd go out in the street,

you'd walk down Hollywood Boulevard, there'd be the same people standing out there. You'd have no'd have no idea this you you did that in Boston. The streets would be empty I remember when the Lakers won their last championship was walking down the road I saw like one guy in a Kobe Bryant jersey just going whoo What's happened he goes we're just one the whole lot. I went good good. Nice to be part of this yeah, yeah, so we're two there were a million different cultures. Nobody gives a shit and Same with comedy and it's like that whole Like the world's changing away like when the Beatles sang on Ed Sutherland

That was the lowest rate of crime that America ever had that night. Yeah Yeah, that because everyone stayed home to watch it even the criminals, right? And we just don't have shit like that anymore No people's tastes are so it used to be back in the day You could actually say what this is what we all like right now, right? Yeah, you can't you can't do that anymore and then some Gangnam style thing pops up and then it realized oh my god if we if we all do agree on something. It's shit So I'd say it's worse than not agreeing on something. It's twice a year. We do agree on a piece of shit

I got that way with my niece the other day. My niece has gone one direction crazy the boy band Oh, yeah, right. That's all she cares about all 12 11. Yeah. Yeah, she's 12 Yeah, and she whole rooms covered in one direction She had a huge one direction onesie that she wears and and she thinks is like I think it's weird for a kid. But anyway. But it's turned on for a lot of faculty at the school. Sure. Sure. And she's got One Direction nail polish where it says 1D across the thing. Wow. Anyway, I had that moment where I felt like maybe I shouldn't do it because I was saying, you'll be so embarrassed by this in a few years.

But how many people said that to kids when they were really into The Beatles? How many parents went, oh, this passing fad? So I felt really old going, is this what you're listening to now? Is it? Well, it is interesting.

It is shit, though, One Direction. Well, that's the whole thing. Like, The Beatles aren't shit. Well, and I think people were confused. Parents probably were confused by the Beatlemania. They didn't have a frame of reference. It's also weird. What the hell is this?

Also weird when you've been to the three generations of One Direction-like phenomena. Exactly. It's weird when things have been afloat to them. You take Elvis. So Elvis comes out, and then everyone is into Elvis and then some Jim Jefferies relative that's 40, 50, you know, 80 years hence comes in and says,

yeah, you're gonna seem like an ass, but now you're not an ass for being into Elvis. But then Elvis turns into Elvis, Fat Elvis, who's playing Vegas Elvis. And now you are an ass if you're worshiping at the altar of that Elvis although I think you're super cool when you come back around right Elvis well let me say early stuff let me say this how many people and this is why I forced everyone to see Siegfried and Roy when I was in Vegas many years ago how many people in 1976 when somebody was in Vegas many years ago. How many people in 1976, when somebody was in Vegas,

said, let's go see Elvis, and the group went, that fat old dude, man, no way, because there's a band called the Strawberry Alarm Clock, and they're what's happening now. Do you know, I was at the Hilton International Hotel. But listen, let me just. Had to yell no, no, no in the middle of someone's joke. Not only that.

Not only that. Yeah. Do you want to finish it? Yeah. All right. Yeah, no, no, no. I was actually staying at the Hilton International when Elvis was performing there. And so I was like a 13-year-old kid, maybe I was 14.

And he looked like this bizarre relic that you couldn't understand by any, there was excitement, and excitement seemed to be around the 30, 40-year-old set, which was already in 1960, whatever that was, 67, maybe 70, 70, were sort of way out, man. We'd been through 1968, 1969, there was a generation gap. A generation gap, man.

Yeah, and these people were into Elvis, man, and that was weird because I was into the Doors and the Rolling Stones, man. That was cool in 1970. Right. It was past the strawberry alarm clock and all that. I didn't get the exact fucking bands. I'm just saying.

It's a shit on my joke. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've got one Elvis story. It's pretty, it's not a great story, but it's my most fun. Cue Drew when you want him to yell no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, The Enemy is a magazine in the UK, which is actually where Elton John met Bernie Tulp in The Beatles. It's one of the oldest music magazines in the world. They normally have a music awards in the UK, but none of the American people were showing up, so they decided to have one in America.

I'd just gotten here, and I had no career in America whatsoever, but they, from Britain, I was the only comic they saw on the list that they knew. So I got the hostess award. So before we go out there, I never hosted nothing. I'm staying there and I think it's... No, no, no, no. No, it is. Mick Jones from The Clash is chatting to Alice Cooper. And Alice Cooper had mentioned he was telling a story about meeting Elvis. So I was like trying to listen in, just standing a little bit away. And then they said, okay, you got to go get ready. So I was like trying to listen in, just standing a little bit away, and then they said, okay, you've got to go get ready. So I never heard the end of the story.

So I'm on stage, Alice Cooper has to come up and present an award. And they go, artist of the year is, and then he doesn't have to read the nominations because it's music awards, the screen has to go, oasis, the white stripes, you know, that type of thing, right? So we're standing up there and it goes, oasis,'s just the white and the whole screen just freezes. Right. And it starts like glitching a little bit like that. And all I hear in my earpiece is I'm just filling some time, Jim. And I just stand there with Alice Cooper. He's looking at me. I'm looking at him. And I said, so you met Elvis. So, you met Elvis. And he popped into, yeah I can tell that story.

So he goes, well it was 1969, I was at the Hilton in Las Vegas and he was walking down the hall and then it went the wide stripes. And then he went, anyway, he pulled a gun on me. So I don't know what happened in between that bit of the story from the beginning to the end but I know that Elvis pulled a gun on Alice Cooper when he was very young. Hey, it's Adam Kroll from the Adam Kroll Show. BetOnline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for online betting from the earliest odds to in-game live betting. BetOnline provides you with all the action and

the ability to watch and bet on games as they happen with the largest selection of odds on everything from football, NBA, college basketball as well. BetOnline has NHL, MMA, and championship boxing all your betting needs in one place. Head to BetOnline today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. So have some fun, make these games and these events and these combat sports a little more interesting with BetOnline. BetOnline, the game starts here How many people would Elvis and or Frank Sinatra shoot in today's society

meaning like when I'm going to an event and this is a true story and I have credentials for the event, it was like an X Games thing and I had full credentials, and I'm running late and I'm coming up to the security guy and there's the barriers and there's a gap in the barriers about two feet and I say, yeah, I need to go through your gate and go get to this rally cross thing and he goes, your gate and go get to this rally cross thing and he goes you got to go down around and come back and there's nobody in line I'm just looking at a hundred yards down where the barriers then enter go on the other side of barrier and then

walk all the way back or you could step aside and I could just walk straight through where we are right now you see my credentials and go to the shack go through the security thing and he's like you you got to go around, you got to go down, around, enter and come back. Essentially, walk 100 yards that way, then walk three feet in and then walk 100 yards back and then see the same guy who then lets you go in. I said, or you could step out of the way and he's like, sir, you need to enter through that and I just thought Frank Sinatra would have shot this guy at some point right like Elvis would have shot this guy

I mean all the asshole parking guys you have to deal with all the ass wipe security guys all the guys who are working the gates like just imagine Frank Sinatra Shooting you know oceans 11 or something or whatever he's shooting and he's trying to get on the gate at Paramount And he's got that retard in the windbreaker going How do you spell that last name? No, not on that like you can tell he's not even reading the last time like he just should be shooting people right yeah Of course you would I reckon that's why I always didn't tour outside of America

He couldn't get he gun on international flights. Yeah. He'd be shooting people at airports like all the, uh, Mr. Schnatchere, I need you to do for me right now is go ahead and take your belt off, take your shoes off, take pants down, let me patch down. He'd be like, it'd be like, that's my flask. I travel with it. We're going to have to ask you to empty that flask. You'd be like empty, I'll empty it in your fucking eyeball and then I'll empty my revolver up your ass. The rhinestones on your jumpsuit are setting off the alarm. Sure, I'm gonna need you to remove the jumpsuit and go ahead and step to the side of me while we wind you down like Elvis just be shooting, they'd be shooting people, right?

I think their first move, I think the first move with like the golden flask that he carried his Jack Daniels in, you know, like Sinatra, like Dean Martin Sinatra, like first move with like the golden flask that he carried his Jack Daniels in, you know, like Sinatra, like Dean Martin Sinatra, like first move would be like, hey kid, I like the cut of your jib and he'd pull out a wad of bills. And he'd do that move with the clip that Rich Guy's doing, he'd peel off like 60 bucks, here you go, stuff that into his pocket. Thanks, buddy, I like the cut of your jib. And then he'd start walking again and the guy'd go, sir, sir, what do you need you to do for me right now? And then he'd go, we just settled this, didn't we? I don't get what I'm going to need to dump the contents of that out. By the way, you give me the sixty dollars violates federal regulations.

And he'd be like, what the do I have to shoot everybody? Go get your manager so I can shoot them. Have you flown domestically in another country recently? No, I have not. It's a world of difference. I've lived here for four years and I got so used to it that I just forgot how it was. I went and gigged in Australia and you go up, this is how you go on a domestic flight in Australia, so Sydney to Melbourne.

You go up, you put your name in the machine, they give you the ticket, it also prints your bag thing, you put the bag thing on yourself and there's a conveyor belt underneath the machine and off it goes. And then I walk up to the gate bit and the lady's asking for tickets and I'm showing my ID like a fucking simpleton. Right?

I'm just, here's my ID. And the lady literally went to me, she goes, what are you doing? And I said, I'm going, I'm showing, I'm going on, there's my ID. And she goes, why are you showing me your ID? I just need to know what date you're going to. And I said, what do you mean why am I showing you ID? This is a plane. Like I was, I was bemused by it. And she goes, she said to me, she goes, would showing me your ID

stop you from being a terrorist? And I said, I guess it wouldn't. I'd be dead if I smashed, no, I guess it wouldn't. She goes, let's I smashed. No, I guess it wouldn't. I start taking off my shoes in this line and everyone's looking at me like I'm a madman. And they go, what are you taking your shoes off for, mate? And I said, I don't know. Right. And then you get on the flights, domestic European flights, they like serve you with silverware and these nice meals and in economy and they're nice as hell I was sculling my water at the gate like an idiot Oh, listen pulling my computer out. He goes look mate. How many bombs do you think you have just put him away?

Come on, you keep this line move. And by the way, they're calling you Jim. They probably knew you Jeffries because they know him they let him move on through it's true Jeffries. Yeah, there is going to be some sort of syndrome that we have In the future like you know, it's a repetitive motion thing or whatever They some of these things take a few years to show up People that do data entry and have to sit in front of a computer screen for but it shows up ten years later There's gonna be something called travelers screen for but it shows up ten years later there's gonna be something called travelers travelers liver where you chug because I do that thing where it's like

I have a bottle of water that I brought from the hotel room but it cost four dollars yeah because I because it was on display like it's like they you know it's backlit there's arrows pointing to it you know it's comes in a hand thrown hand blown bottle you know it's called Vox it's It comes in a hand-blown bottle. It's called Vox. It's got a... And I bought... And I'm like, I'll be goddamn, I'm going to take two sips off of this thing and throw

it away because I'm throwing away four bucks worth of water. So I do the move. It doesn't matter how full I am. I will chug whatever I'm chugging before I toss it. And sometimes I'll have a couple of waters with me and it's just two-fisted water chugging. There's gonna be something called travelers. Brain edema. Yeah, where actually your brain starts floating

because you've over-hydrated yourself because you've chugged too much liquid in the security line. And you're hopping on one leg taking a shoe off whilst moving sideways. Yeah, there's gonna be a lot of torn ACLs too going on. I don't know why for me, the belt, I hate the belt. Me too. The belt pisses me off the worst because of the threading and the re-threading

part of the- And when you add that to the shoe, it's the combo, the belt and the shoe. That's just intolerable. It's also, I pride myself on how good I can do it though. I look at other people who can't take their belt and shoes off really quickly like they're idiots. What's the getting on part that's the pain in the ass? Well, first off, it's going to turn us like if I'm ever, you know, thugs encounter me

in the street, the belt is coming off, you know, and turn into a weapon like Zorro. I'll be able to whip that thing out. Then I'll take the shoes and use them like throwing stars. I'll chug a bottle of water in between. Do you ever watch that locked up a broad show where they just, yeah, I love that show where it's just like they're carrying heroin and then they're spending like seven years in a Thailand prison or something like that. Now I play a game with myself thinking

every time I get through I think, yeah, I could have got the drugs through that time. You know what I mean? That's what I go through in my head. I go, yeah, I made it through that time. And now I don't carry drugs through the airport, but now that I've got the baby, that's my great drug smuggling thing. Oh yeah. No one ever checks his baby. You can. You can. You can feed. Your kids can do it too. You can- Keys to the drugs and the baby. Wow.

That's your kids would do it too. They don't put the baby through the x-ray. Right? Right? And you can start, cause you carry it through, they let you carry the baby through the metal detector. You stuff a nappy full of coke, you could transport anything.

Also, oof. Plus- You never think about the bomb potential. Babies are, you know, first off, I feel like my days of taking things rectally are Well in my rectal rearview mirror really yeah like I rectal rearview Rectal rearview is is I put a crown royal sack over my rectal rearview. I don't even look at it Am I young guys younger days you're pliable. You know there's

Suppositories and hell they used to take temperatures that way. You're wide open for business back there No, the man hasn't made you up tight You know what I'm saying? So a few balloons of heroin or what have you easily worked up the rectum of a not so much For an old guy like you know now no plus. I would have a look on my face That would be so specific that they could actually know the number of balloons of heroin that were up my ass just on my face. You could look at my face and go that's a seven balloon face that's not a five balloon face. Come with us, Mattrol. I actually have a story about this. I had a hemorrhoid once, well many

times, that was just I was shitting and then blud and then I was just have to wedge a sheet of toilet paper up there until it clotted. That was all it was. They bring in those machines, those extra machines, which are really more to catch drugs because no one's going through with guns. They're trying to find a wrap in your pocket or whatever. That's why they empty your pockets. I empty my pockets, I stand up, I do the thing, goes to the machine and then they go, are

you sure you don't have anything in your back pocket? And then it dawns on me, a bloody tissue is wedged in my ass. Man-pied. Right now. Did you tell them? I went, yeah, and they go, we'll have to see that. Did they take you in the back room?

Oh, I pulled it out in front of the queue of people. Like as soon as you bring out a blood covered tissue like this, they don't ask any more questions. I could have had as much cocaine shoved up my ass afterwards. They were just like, no, you're fine. You're fine. Maybe it was bleeding because you'd irritated it because you tried to fit one more

bindle of cocaine up there. They missed the six bag face because they were so focused on this man pond. But the shame that goes through your body when they go, you have something in your back there because that's where they're looking, the x-rays looking for ass things. Yeah. That's a big ass thing. I had a guy do a sort of a body search because I have a, our little hernia repair things sometimes will show up, the titanium tacks.

Oh really? And I had a guy do the whole, like, I gotta check here. It's like, ah. One of my brothers had a- Call me by my first name. Drew, I have to check over here. Oh yeah. One of my brothers had a heart default

when he was very, very young, and he had a pacemaker from the age of 14 to 20 or something. Now he no longer has it, he's had surgery, but he had a pacemaker. So can you imagine being like a 16-year-old kid, every time you got to a metal detector, it had surgery, but he had a pacemaker. So can you imagine being like a 16 year old kid, every time you got to a metal detector, it was like, I've got a pacemaker. Yeah, sure you do.

He had to shirt off every time he was a kid and show the scar across his chest. I had a situation where I was doing crank yankers, I think in Vegas, and we were kind of partying after that night whatever. Well I made everyone go see Siegfried and Roy because I told them you know people did that with Elvis and they made fun of him and now he's dead and they wish they did. And look at what happened to Siegfried and Roy.

It was months later. Not years, it was months later and I forced everyone to go but some guy and some point in the evening hands me a big doobie is a big joint and I said Well, I'm leaving McCarran tomorrow morning, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this But then there's a part of me that kicked in that I hate waste. I hate flushing shit down the toilet. I hate Anything that has to do with wasted movement, burnt calories. To me, I take it to the sun. The sun hits the earth. The nutrients are in the soil. The water hits the earth. And that marijuana is grown. It's fertilized. It probably has a grow light. It's probably not the sun. It's worse.

It's burning kilowatts. Then somebody trucks it somewhere and burns a bunch of diesel fuel and then some guy rolls it up and makes it into a thing And if I throw it down the toilet, it's not only is it all for not I'm actually burning the energy of the toilet and it going to the sewage Facility. Yeah, but put it in conjunction with the shit. Oh, there you go Well, yeah work it in with the shit. Oh there you go. Well yeah work it in with the shit. You're right. But you still lost all that coal burn. Oh no no. Yeah no I got you now. Shove it up your ass. Oh no no no no. I got it now. Now I got to throw it in after it. Okay I had to get there. Took me three steps to get there. There's always that depressing if you've ever

like smoked a cigarette and you've been drunk and you've done that where you smoke it and then you put it down between your legs while you're having a bad shit. When you're hung over and the shit's just alcohol fueled and there's a cigarette in it. Often I think of taking a photo of that just to keep on my phone to remind me of how painful life can be. You're thinking of Jim and his condition there. I know a little bit about Jim because I've...

I need to finish my story and then you can tell me about you. I put it in my toiletry bag, I put it in my little like vitamin thing and I went to the airport the next day and I sort of wasn't thinking about that much but I'm like fuck it, this America. I got a joint, someone gives me a joint, I'm taking my joint home with me. What kind of fucked up thinking is that? You're gonna get arrested. You're in Nevada. What the hell? You know the laws in Nevada. You know I take an ecstasy in the line going through security where I've gone And I like pop that and that's the worst drug for planes Oh, you're not in love the fucking air and everything's creepy and you know, it's not good Not good for an airplane. Person next to you doesn't want to hug you.

I had that hat they went through my toiletry bag Just because and a certain point they were like taking stuff out of it And I was like oh shit if you open that container There's a big fat doobie and they never did but I just thought look I want this country to run this way Which is I'm not a criminal somebody gave me a joint. I'm a responsible adult. I pay my taxes I want to bring it home and give it to one of my pot-smoking friends Why can't I engage in this behavior? But all right, tell me the Jim Jeffries story now Oh, I just think it I what I what do you imagine Jim studied in college just based on his history his humor and his

Just I just think of the description of him taking a shit. How do you like how to shame his morbidly obese mother? His just I just think of the description him taking a shit hung like how to shame is morbidly obese mother Good at that. I took a course in that but that wasn't my major. Mm-hmm. What was your major? I musical theater and opera Drew loves musical theater and opera West Side Story's coming to town. I know that if you want to get tickets, I like Farla man, we're gonna go see some They never did better than West Side Story three. I don't think so either You know, that was the best musical I I completely concur and I listen I probably have it the overture at least for it on my iPod and I love it And I you know, maybe we hit a zenith with that stuff and it's never gonna get any better I Don't know is there was a great American

You know craft at the time. Yeah, it's not that in demand anymore Yeah, that was it the lame is thing might bring it back into cinema a bit What's the British bring it at all around though? You know, that's Is that don't you guys still what I thought Moulin Rouge was the first step getting it back onto movies what what is going on what's going on with the Electronic music that is just taking over This society just that sort of pumping Electronic now it goes through cycles though because that was right up until about especially in Britain right up until like

though, because that was right up until about, especially in Britain, right up until like 1994 or five, all it was was dance music and everyone taking pills. Yes. And then the Stone Roses came in and then Oasis and everyone got back into guitar bands and then Blur and then it went through Britpop, was the era and now it's come back to this year. But I'm not talking about what's being played on the radio. That's always going to be a cyclical thing. I'm talking about every entertainment show,

every radio show comes back from break with this syntho pump up the jam kind of bullshit. It's shitty music and you don't notice it anymore because it's ubiquitous, but watch entertainment tonight and you'll just hear nothing but this drive. I mean they'll be talking about oh the the passing the tragic passing of Larry Hagman will be Like pumping in the background like this is appropriate music music for the passing of Jerry It was a techno version of I Dream of Jeannie.

Yeah, it was a touching memorial to the great man. America's the home of the graphic, right? And I've lived here long enough that I've become immune to it, but every time I have a family member come and visit me, they start laughing. And I remember when I first got here, it's really with sport when they go, even on Monday night football,

they had that big transformer robot that goes, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. And then it goes, quarterback, whoosh, statistic, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. Like that. And that doesn't happen in the rest of the world. You just get used to it, like,

oh, that's how you display someone. Well, no, that's how you learn to tune everything out, because there's too much coming in, so you have to start repelling. So start you start tuning you start pushing away and then that's fine and then you get behind the wheel of a car and the light changes and you're sitting there motionless because you've learned to tune out all all that comes in through your your eyes in your windshield the the foot drives me nuts with all the fucking information,

which I don't get, and like there's scrolls on top of scrolls, there's like three, four high. I tune in, you know, I like football, but I don't watch every game on Sunday, and I tune in on Sunday night to catch the highlights to see who won, and they'll do that thing where they go, we now go to New England, Jets playing at New England, Tom Brady not playing, so we got a barn burner here. But underneath the scroll, it says Patriots win 37-21. And I'm like, what? I just saw, so I literally am holding my hand. It's like when, it's sort

of, it's what happens when I have to walk through the gay porn section at the rental place I Physically have to hold my hand in through this temptation front of me He's so ready for But I have to hold my hand in front of the scroll because the the guy who's doing the announcement Saying and the game everyone is anticipated The guy who's doing the announcement saying, and the game everyone has anticipated, Dallas at the Giants, that's coming up after the break,

except for the fucking scroll of the final is going underneath. Now, why do you fucking scroll? You're doing a program that basically is teasing things, saying you wanna know, you wanna know who won the big one, you come back after this Budweiser commercial, except for to know who won the big one you come back after this Budweiser commercial Except for I know who won the big one because I just saw on your network not another network I saw the scroll right so that's that's like if you're making a movie

Would you have a scroll that the janitor did it? Yeah, you know what I mean like what and by the way, how far away are we from scrolls in movies? We're not far. I don't feel like we're that far. We could hit a movie scroll soon. I, with legit, I don't think FX do it, but I hope one day I get to do one of those coming up next legit and just me

and another character rotating around, you know, like down the bottom of the screen, or me just shaking my head, looking a billy in the wheelchair I want to do one of those yeah I want to experience how mundane that must be you know you've arrived when it says an all new legit not cobbled together from outtakes from other episodes partially new I have an idea for season two which is every sometimes you write like a whole storyline and you go I'm happy with that and then sometimes you write like I've

got this gag in this situation it's about two minutes long and maybe we can throw it in somewhere or maybe we can expand it and so I've got about 10 or 15 of those I've never figured out where to put them or whatever I'm thinking of having a clip show when none of the clips are from the series just Just like, hey, remember when we all went to the water park? And then we'll just show a new clip so I can fit in all these things. So that when someone watches that episode, they're going, I've missed like 10 fucking episodes. That's good.

I like that. Yeah. I had a, speaking of just like popping up and fucking things up, Gary, remember I was complaining that if- Oh, slow down. Adam complaining? I had commented on the fact that I'd seen Modern Family and they were telling a joke about OCD

or something like that at the top. We have to kind of figure this one out. But there was a joke and it was during this, now what they do is they start the show. And then the network does their little blings like in between, like they just they just pop stuff in and the joke was a joke about the pretty girl who was the horrible student and it was an ADD joke. During the show, right at the top of the show, as the mom was making an ADD joke, a little thing popped on the screen that just said AD.

And it just went, ping. And I thought it was some sort of weird stylized thing, like in- AD. In Pulp Fiction, when Uma Thurman went, don't be a square, man. It actually drew the square. It didn't bump you.

It was like weird animation in the middle of your super serious interesting movie. She went, don't be a square. And it just went on there and then it just kind of went bling. And so she said, I hadn't seen it in like an episode. So I tuned back in and she made an ADD joke when AD popped on the screen and I was like What are they doing? Well, the AD thing was some sort of advanced hearing thing like it like now in Spanish or in whatever

It just happened to coincidentally was supposed to run 20 seconds into the show like now with HD or now in Spanish or whatever but this was some sort of for hearing impaired or something but it literally stepped on an ADD joke by saying AD you can watch it you can go to what's our website Drew want to see? Are we talking about that really hot girl from Modern Family? Yes. Watch it. What is all this? Hey! Hey mom I'm trying to write this stupid college essay question and I really don't even know what to start. Okay, what's the question? Tell me. What's the biggest obstacle you've ever had to overcome?

Didn't my third grade teacher say I had like ADD or something? Oh, she said you couldn't say ADD. You should put it that way because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L. Wait, slow down! Oh! They had a great joke there, a funny joke, but this AD thing popped on two seconds after she said ADD, and I just was like going, what it... What was that about?

And not only that, but if you were the guy who wrote the joke, which was a funny joke, wouldn't you be kind of pissed off that the network kind of stepped on your shit, your good joke at the top of the show? I liked the way the A-D, the D had multiple sort of, it could be A-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. I like how many little bleep like pay attention. I was just sitting there staring at it going... Missed the joke.

Pluto TV is the place for movie fans like me. And TV fans like me. staring at it going, miss the joke. Or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump. Run, Forrest! Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never. Well, now we need to hear again, because it's a funny joke. I know the joke. She said, I can't, I guess, didn't my third grade teacher help? Honey, what is all this? Hey! Hey, Mom, I'm trying to write this stupid college essay question, and I really don't even know what I'm a question Tell me what's the biggest obstacle you've ever had to overcome

Didn't my third grade teacher say I had like a D or something. Oh Wait slow down and it's strangely, the joke went through. It just stepped on. One of the volume went down during the joke. Yeah. She said you had ADD. Saying you couldn't add. Basically knew you couldn't spell.

That was the joke. But completely stepped on by the weird AD and all the whatever. And here's another part that's going to be shocking to you, Drew. Most everyone I know watches this show, and I brought up to everyone and they're like, I have no idea what you're talking about. And I thought, well, we've successfully tuned everyone out

of everything all the time. Nobody- It's your hypervigilance and stuff. Nobody knows anything about what they do. No one has any idea about anything. And I don't know what we do to wake people up, but we don't talk about waking people up. We talk about society, we talk about guns,

we talk about how many clips, how many rounds can be put in a clip, we talk about education, we talk about the ozone and climate change and stuff like that. What we never talk about is wake up people and we don't have that and we're- Focus, hey man, focus.

Well there was a time where- Don't you think that it works better for people who, I'm not saying I'm super focused, but I call myself a hard working person. Isn't it easier to get ahead in life when everyone else is sleeping? Oh, not only sleeping, but just fucking stupid and making horrible like it's great when you're working at a place And the guy whose job you want is saying to the boss. You're not the boss of me. Okay, you don't understand

And you're gonna good keep talking. I'll take your place in a second yeah, it is nice that everyone is super lazy and and not only bad at what they do But has an attitude about it and lethargic and I've seen it I that's what I've seen Jimmy Kimmel just rise right up through the ranks because he was like I'll stay after and edit this thing and produce this thing and put this thing together while everyone else was going hey I'm not getting paid to do this shit, or that's not part of my whatever. Yeah, it does make it easier for the people with just a little bit of focus.

I think Kimmel does the best show out of a lot of them, out of all the tonight shows, I think he does the best one. He does. But what made him get there, because when I met him, he was doing sports locally on the radio station, was that he would go, yeah, I'll show up early and get this together and I'll stay late and work on it.

And he never asked for any extra money. And since everyone else, especially a lot of comedians, a lot of writers, a lot of people like that, a lot of them are some of the laziest people you've ever met in your life. And there's a lot of them that are like, I'm not working for free. Like I'm not, like, you know,

Kevin and Bean did the Christmas album every year Jimmy produced it Jimmy wrote all the bits Jimmy did all of the stuff he wasn't really part of his job description but he did it and he never got paid for it but now he amassed the skills to produce to write to create so in a way he was training for like the man show and then he's Before that a lot of people whatever they're doing. They did it for a long time for free I did radio for ten years for free essentially for free. Yeah, we don't have any of that for frees anymore and It's a bad thing for society, but it's a good thing for all of us Everyone in America America's middle management. Right. Or thinks they're middle management.

No one's a grunt. No one's a... Speaking of radio, I wanted to bring up a topic. I was trying to explain to Jim what was going on with... Jim's very hooked in with Opie and Anthony. Mm-hmm. And you had a little thing with one of those guys. Can you explain that to him again?

Because I don't remember exactly what happened or why it went so bad. He says he's never... Jim says the guy doesn't ever mention it. He's never mentioned it to me. Was it Anthony was the one that was so weirdly... No. He says he's never, Jim says the guy doesn't ever mention it. He's never mentioned it. Was it Anthony was the one that was so weirdly? I don't know. I don't remember. All I remember is, and we can probably, Gary, he could probably dig up the clip.

Nice job. Nice job with the modern family thing, by the way. I was on the internet looking for something else and I was looking for something and I ran into this thing that says Opie goes on tirade about Adam Carolla. And I was like, I don't know why, I don't know what that was. So I listened to it

because I never had any interaction with them. And Anthony, I think Anthony, I ran into after a party at, we did the Hugh Hefner roast for Comedy Central in like 02 or something. And at the after party, he just came up and introduced himself. And we talked for like 20 minutes at the bar and I told him I like radio and we talked about radio. And I said that Jimmy likes your show a lot because Jimmy did his show a lot but I wasn't in New York enough and I'd never done I never heard the show and I never done the show because I was never in

New York so some years later I think Opie came over to the our radio show and with our my former manager former agent radio agent brought one of his clients which was Opie brought with him to introduce him to me and Drew because I think he liked Loveline and he came in I guess probably during a commercial break or something I remember we went out to murder he was sitting sort of on the side there yeah we said hi to him how you doing and I remember saying I was right when he was sitting sort of on the side there. And we said hi to him. How you doing? And I remember saying, I was right when he was suspended, but he was still getting paid. Yeah, they were out for like a year or something. Two years or something.

I told him that was my dream was to get suspended at full pay. So good job, you know. So that was our interaction, right? Then we went back in and we just did the radio show like we do. It would happen a lot people This is our radio agent bringing another one of his clients So it's like he's not some guy off the street This is bob eatman our radio agent brought one of his other clients who I knew I mean, I didn't know the guy but I knew the show and oh, this is opi of opi name. Hey, how you doing?

Nice interaction. How was that? Working certain point I said I gotta go back to do the show. Thanks for coming Thanks for coming Hang out whatever and such once sat down and I never thought about it again. And then Here we might be able to find it his description of what happened Was it was very different than what actually happened at least in my mind i i i don't know i don't remember it so that's i i just know i just it sounded somewhat familiar to you drew i don't know i remember going

out and meeting up i remember it was very kind you and we've had a very nice exchange and i wanted to have a live from radio guys more live one of the night i think it was because i've read it on the line is a complete groups to make and the reason he was a good because he is friends with howard so i felt like well i know howard hates opiate at the side out of not acknowledge this guy parking wires is stupid business and his audience will believe whatever the fuck he says.

I had no opinion on Adam Carolla until I was out in LA and I went by his lovelines with our agent who just happens to be the agent of Adam Carolla. He goes, you want to stop by lovelines? I'm like, yeah, you know what? I think that lovelines is a pretty good show. I would love to check it out live. I have nothing better to do. I go there, I sit in another room.

He's doing a show through a glass fucking booth. I'm sitting on a fucking couch He's eyeing me the whole time like what the fuck drew could care less They go to break through comes out as a very nice to meet you Adam. Kroll looks at me in the eyes and goes What are you doing here and walks out has a smoke? That's where this comes from you fucking What are you doing here? There is two ways to say that sentence hey, what are you doing? But I was eyeballing them through the glass we had a thing like this set up It was dark in there. We couldn't see who was in the side of the glass. We would be eyeballing anybody

He's gonna see shit over there. Well, I I can't pass judgment on this. I'd like to stay friends with all of you. I'm not a feud or anything. The way people interpret actual interactions is interesting to me. No, I find them and the Howard and them thing to be a bit odd. I didn't I wasn't even by the way I wasn't I never get in the middle of, you know, I'm friends with Jay Leno, I'm friends with Jimmy Kimmel, I know Jimmy is one of my best friends, he gets into it with Jay, I go look at cars over at Jay's shop, like no one, no one gives a shit. I don't have a Howard allegiance open hand thing, like, first off, I'm too old to fucking

take sides, like, who cares? It's not one direction. Yeah. You understand? I'm not going to do the fingernail. I'm a Harry Styles guy. One thing. He's my future husband. So but there is there's an interesting point, which is this. Drew and I, it's it's it's how people make you feel rather than what actually transpired. Sure. And I was, Drew, my wife,

Drew's wife, our kids, we went out to a nice dinner the other night and I brought my gift certificate. I had a like a gift certificate that was made out to one of my employees here to this restaurant and Drew had one too. Now I had come upon my gift certificate not because it was a gift for me, it was a gift that I got one of my employees. But somebody had doubled down and got two like $100 gift certificates for them or $150, whatever it was. So I had on on my wife's side of the desk in my office was an envelope and had the name of Mike Choffee, the guy who works for me. And there it sat, just an envelope, said Mike Choffee on it, nothing else, no stamps or anything, for months. And I thought to myself, this is probably something

that needs to go to Mike Choffee that is not going to Mike Choffee. So I opened it. It wasn't hidden anywhere. It was just sitting out on top of the desk. And out comes the Mozza gift card. And I realized, oh, this is Mike Choffee's. This was supposed to be given to Mike Choffee for Christmas, but it wasn't given to Mike Choffee for Christmas. And now I have this gift card that I paid a hundred or hundred fifty dollars for, and now I have this gift card that I paid a hundred or hundred fifty dollars for and now I want to use it. I either want to give it to Mike Joffy and tell him sorry for the delayed Christmas, you know, it's Easter but thanks for all the work you did in 2011 or I want to use it myself.

What I don't want it to do is just sit in this envelope, you know. So I set it out on the table and I set it out on the entry table basically to say to my wife, what are we doing with this card? Is it going to Mike Chaffee? Are we going to use it? Whose card is this? And she freaked on me because in her mind I had shamed her. What are you doing? This is none of your business. Get out of this. This is between me and Mike Choffee, blah blah blah. I tell people all the time, well, it is my business because I paid for the fucking card. So it makes it my business. But I had shamed her. Basically, I made her feel a way about herself that she didn't want to feel about herself. She's not a bad person. She was busy. She said she would get to it probably in her mind a hundred times and never got to it. Mike Choffee did get himself a gift card and it turns out this

was just sitting around now. So I said, good, look, I'm putting it out. Let's just go, let's go to Mozza tonight. Let's go use it next weekend. But I sort of shamed her and a year and a half later, we were eating at Mozza and this was a few weeks ago with Drew and I took out the gift card And I put it there and I said this is a card that was supposed to go to Choffee But he already got a card so we'll throw it in on your gift card and she said Yeah, Adam pulled the card out and started yelling at me Yeah, that's her interpretation no. At the restaurant? Yeah, that was her interpretation, no not at the restaurant, her interpretation at the restaurant of what transpired a year ago was Adam pulled the

card out and started yelling. Well, Adam pulled the card out, Adam set the card on the entry table and Adam left. Adam said nothing. The yelling that was coming, that was internal. That was called shaming, and thus the yelling. So it sounded, historically it goes down like this. Adam comes storming downstairs, waving arms above head, and screaming about a hundred dollar gift card. Reality is, Adam sets gift card by keys and says nothing. But it felt, and I understand this, this is how people are wired, it felt to Opie like I was yelling at him or dissing him or whatever, which is fine. I understand it takes place all the time, but we do as a society need to have certain guidelines when somebody is yelling at you versus you internally yelling at yourself

or is saying something rude to you versus being friends yelling at yourself or is saying something rude to you versus being friends with Howard Stern but not saying something rude to you? Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah, it's also, it's in your head sometimes. I think in my head that I speak very politely and I get pulled up by my girlfriend often that I'm, she says I'm extraordinarily rude to people in shops and things and in my brain I don't think I but I will go I will go like hold up a thing and go What what does this cost right? Which is very rude just to like point a person to that Go in in my head. I'm going excuse me. I'd like to inquire on the price of this thing

That's how I think I'm talking and she pulls me up and sometimes I look back at it and go oh yeah That was rude. I have to work at it because it's just a phrasing thing Yeah, no and there is how we sound and and like I said there is a what are you doing here? And there's a what are you doing here? Hi, should we take a couple of phone calls here, dr. Drew just so we Say we did it. I know but let's power through a few things. So I feel bad sister-in-law 31, Texas chain smoker Just diagnosed with breast cancer. Okay, Michael Michael Hi, you want to you you want us to build a time machine and

What's We've all kind of like like the family, mutually agreed that, you know, it might be a good idea to say something like stop fucking smoking, you have cancer, but nobody really knows how to approach it. Have her doctor do it. He or she will automatically, and there's literature that shows that the physician saying it has a significant impact. Also, cigarettes and smoking and breast cancer,? I thought it was only the lung in the

bathroom. No, breast too. Well, it's everything. But if you get breast cancer 31, you're predetermined to get breast cancer 31. But... The cigarettes may have pushed it along. Well, here's the thing. All the more reason to stop this. You're sort of have a pre-existing propensity to get cancer. Maybe you should just stop smoking altogether. And the physician can get the nicotine replacement and the help and whatnot. Right, the physician. Get the oncologist to bang her over the head.

Matt Watson is wondering if he's mentally ill because he's very self-destructive and keeps ruining good things. Matt? Matt? Hey guys, how's it going? You have the Jim Jeffries syndrome. I love your comedy, man. Thank you. In a nutshell, that's it.

I'm 40. I've got three kids. Separated my wife for the second time. But, you know, if there's something good in my life, I'm going to find a way to go out and actively fuck it up. Just relationships? Something that I've done since I was a teenager and somehow from where i'm still alive in relatively healthy so just relationships are everything yes all relationships their jobs uh...

friendship uh... i've managed to hold on to one good friend my car lot but you know i don't have any other close friends uh... what do you do for an occupation now? Say it again, I'm sorry. What do you do for an occupation now? I am just out of working in the media and public affairs. Fantastic, better, sorry better whatever I could have come up with. Who's that mean? Arkansas. the media are facing Arkansas All right, so Matt now that you're 40

Yeah, why don't you stop doing all the things you did before you're 40 or 41? You know what I mean? I mean catch yourself in the in the middle of being a douche, you know or or destroying something or sabotaging something See what I'm saying? I see what you're saying, but I see myself doing it and I go the right thing to do is one thing, the wrong thing to do is another thing. I think I'll have more fun and be more satisfied if I do the wrong thing. All right, well then stay the course.

Doing the wrong thing is fun. Yeah, that'll work out. It is more fun. But the regret afterwards is substantially worse than the fun was fun. Eating fudge is more fun than running on a treadmill. Right? But, alright, that's it. So going the route of fun is not a good thing.

But going the route of satisfaction, you see, it's weird because people, people say to me all the time, uh, hey, doing that, doing that, that event or that thing that whatever it is you did, it sounds like fun, sounds like fun, sounds like fun. It's, it's weird how we've replaced fun with satisfied. We've done way too much of it. You having fun out there? It sounds like a good time. You having fun? You enjoying it and fun? And I tell people, you know, doing something, you know, entering an amateur boxing tournament or doing a celebrity car race or doing a vintage race or something,

it's not really fun, it's satisfying. It feels good that you accomplished it when you're done. Well, because the whole idea of nourishing yourself has been replaced with this idea of happiness. Yeah, it can be fun. Is it fun out there? So euphoria replaces satisfying and nourishing.

Yeah, like you know- And euphoria, hermenex euphoria. Right, like people, you're gonna do a one hour comedy special, Jim Jeffries, that's fun, sounds like fun out there. It's not fun. No, it's not, nothing's fun. It's a whole shitload of hard work. It's like, it's like you've done this as well, throwing out the first pitch at a baseball

game. Yeah. And at the end of it, you have have an accomplishment but it's a fucking nightmare. Not fun. It's as scary as it gets. No, especially, I've done it, I've bounced the ball like three times in a row. Before you go to the next guy, Matt, the deal is you have conscious awareness of the behavior at the moment where you have an opportunity to make choices.

That's an unusual insight and you are actively choosing to make the wrong choice. I'm not sure that's treatable. If you can, now you can go work with somebody so they can sort of point it out to you as you move into it and support you in making a better choice. But if you insist on continuing to make the wrong choice, well, as Adam says, you're going to stay the course. All right. Let's talk to, go to line one. Andy. Hi. Hey, what's going on?

Hey, yeah, I was, I called for something else. I got a text message while I was waiting for you. My brother, he's in this relationship with a girl for about six months now. And it's his first real girlfriend. And he's really changed the kind of person he is, kind of a douche. And the text I got, he was planning on going to get a ring for the girl, and she actually also happened to be my roommate, so I'm caught in this love triangle about...

How do I go about bringing it up that maybe it's not the best idea? How old is he? She's with your roommate? No, he's dating my roommate, yeah. And he actually just moved away to Boston. He was my roommate as well. It's kind of a confusing situation, but he's 24. But are you having sex with her too?

No, I am not. What about your brother? I'd assume so. Well, why is this a love triangle? Maybe that's the wrong thing uh... there's three people this is a lot of that's a lot of roller listen to there's three of us in this room that is a lot of trying to get a little bit of a different times i have a visit

yeah all right but i thought that i love rule of the role they all know what's happening and they're all thinking It's a straight line. So Andy I would not get involved. Yeah, that's what I would say. It's not your business you can Everyone this impulse this look look at it I'm telling you people if it doesn't make you money and it doesn't make you happy just shut the fuck up People tell me stuff all the time. I don't say fucking word even my wife gets mad at me Like how come you didn't tell me that so-and-so was getting divorced and I was like I you know why no upside

Potential downside because I tell you you tell somebody it gets back to somebody then somebody's yelling at me You said I told you not to tell anybody it's like there's no and by the way There's no good for you either you finding out that so-and-so's getting divorced not gonna make your day any better it's not gonna make you any taller your tits any firmer it's not gonna do anything for you so you shouldn't even want to know I don't want to know I wish I didn't know but this notion of and in your 20s like you're gonna you want to get in between relationships and drama and mix

it up and all that stuff it translates into countless hours lost not a penny earned and if you do enjoy it there's something wrong with you all right a happy note to go out on dr. Drew and I doing our reunion tour yeah we'll have to work there to do the math on this one, I think, fellas. If you want to, and I'll tell you about that in a second, you want to support the pirate ship, you can support it by clicking through the PayPal. Drew, would you look up and see what that word is? App?

Drew, something? On our site, PayPal button on our site. Ah, there you go, couldn't read it. Yeah. The site is adamanddoctordrewshow.com and a little donation would go a long way over here and also you can click through the Amazon link at www.adamanddrdrewshow.com. Drew and I, Friday, ah we're doing a, not Drew, screw Drew, we're doing some live podcasts in Phoenix, right?

Uh, oh there it is. Got it all worked out. There we go. Phoenix, two live podcast shows, Friday and Saturday, that's April 5th and 6th. And then Dr. Drew and I performing at the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center, that is Saturday, April 13th. All right, Jim Jeffries, forget about us. I'm performing somewhere.

Silver Legacy Casino in Reno, April 6th. Foxwoods Casino, Connecticut, April 13th. And of course, the show, Legit, airs Thursday, 1030 on FX. I command everybody. On FX. Command everybody to watch Legit. It is one of the best shows on television, the best comedies, and one of the, really the most interesting exploration of people with disabilities.

And honestly, the cast has cognitive and physical disabilities, and they're allowed to be people with those, particularly males, with the young males with those disabilities. A fascinating exploration. All right. It's also funny. It's funny as hell. It's a fascinating exploration. All right. It's also funny. It's funny as hell. It's funny as hell. I've got my family into it.

And you're always asking me to talk. When I try to talk, God damn it, you won't let me do it. Who the fuck said, I got to get out of here? I'm on a schedule this morning. One more thing. When our next podcast, this will be the best little time in this show, right? All right. You're talking to me?

You sit around and text on your phone all fucking day. I want to do... I've got a piece of paper from an old Love Line date I found in a box in my garage, and it's about phenomenon we've lost from the 70s. There's been a lot of Twitter action about us doing more shit about the 70s. This is all stuff that used to be on television. It was a great comedy on television from the 70s that's been lost to the ages. All right, we'll bring it up.

We'll bring up this piece. We'll go through it next. All right. So until next time, Sam Crawford, Jim Jefferies, Dr. Drew and myself. You see, Jim is waiting to get some phones. I was good night. Good evening. Saying Mahalo.

This is Corolla Digital. one and it's totally free. You can binge laugh out loud sitcoms like Frasier and re-watch cult classics like Higher Learning. Whether you're in the mood to solve a little crime before bedtime with NCIS or Tracker or curl up with a surefire hit like Forrest Gump, Pluto TV has thousands of movies and shows all for free. Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.