THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.100 - JOE CORNISH & LOUIS THEROUX

Episode Date: July 13, 2019

Adam enjoys a suitably rambly conversation with his school friends, Joe Cornish and Louis Theroux that takes in Louis' appearance on Desert Island Discs, school reports, the most recent remake of A Star Is Born (SPOILER ALERT: key plot details are revealed) and a tape of Adam, Joe and Louis aged 18 doing David Bowie impressions, before we hear a new Song Wars style Bowie song from Joe, created specially for the 100th episode.CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!Thanks to Seamus Murphy-Mitchel for production support and Matt Lamont for additional editing. Music and jingles by Adam Buxton, featuring bass from Dan HawkinsUse Dan's bass skills yourself:https://www.facebook.com/onlinebassplayer/OTHER RELATED LINKSADAM & JOE - THE 1980s HOUSEhttps://vimeo.com/347912488JOE ON INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/mrjoecornish/PODCAST MERCHhttps://adam-buxton.backstreetmerch.com/en-gb Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rosie, should we go for a walk? Rosie, should we go for a walk? I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin. Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening. I took my microphone and found some human folk. Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke. Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here.

Welcome to episode number 100. And well, it's more or less business as usual. Myself and Rosie are taking a walk on a sunny Friday evening out here in the countryside of Norfolk in the east of England. And it's turned into a very nice evening. It was a little muggy earlier on. I'm not going to lie to you. I know, it's worrying and shocking. But there it is. On the upside, though, it seems to be festival time for the insect community

who are thriving in this weather and I would say pretty much rule the house at the moment. Everywhere I go, I'm walking through spider's webs, just trying to pick them out from my hair and my beard the whole time. And as for the flies, whoa. If anyone needs flies, give us a shout. They're all in our kitchen. I think it's because we live near a stream and also there's a lot of cows in the fields around us and I feel as if we get more fly action in Castle Buckles when the cows are out. but maybe some of you will be saying, no, it's nothing to do with the cows. Don't try and bring the cows down, Buckles. It's you and your filthy kitchen that the flies love. Well, that's a bit harsh on me, my wife, and the rest

of the kitchen cleaning team, but it might be true. But look, let's get to it, shall we? Episode number 100, as you well know, features a stupid and rambly conversation with writer and director Joe Cornish and journalist and documentarian Louis Theroux, both of whom I have known since we met at school, aged 13. we met at school, aged 13. We got together at Joe's house in South London earlier this year, 2019, and as this is a special anniversary episode, we talked about this podcast as well as Louis' appearance on Desert Island Discs, school days, the most recent remake of A Star Is Born,

spoiler alert, key plot details are revealed in this conversation. So if that's going to upset you, leave it for another time. And towards the end, we listened back to a tape of the three of us, aged 18, doing David Bowie impressions. And that recording will give you an idea of how not very far we've come since then. Speaking of David, there is even a new Song Wars-style Bowie song from Joe created specially for the 100th episode.

I didn't expect it. It was a lovely surprise that Joe unveiled at the end of our rambly convo. Back at the end for more bits and pieces, but right now, without further ado, here we go. Then concentrate on that Come on, let's chew the fat And have a ramble chat Put on your conversation coat And find your talking hat Yes, yes, yes La, la, la, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, When are you going to harmonise? Do you want to tune up? Yeah, I do. Start again. Okay, this is the note I'm going to hit. Just give me a note. Happy Wait, I've got some orange pith in my mouth. Happy

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. That's nice. Happy birthday dear Adam Buxton's podcast. Happy birthday to you. That's like a barbershop trio. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

What an amazing occasion. What an amazing achievement. I've made it to 100. I've never done 100 of anything. In how many years would that be? About four years? Four years. Started in late 2015.

What's the best episode? The best one Joe wants to know. Besties and worsties. Besties and worsties. Besties and worsties. Obviously, I'm not going to say worsties. But besties, depends who you ask. Are they like your children and you can't choose one over another? Exactly right.

But you have a favourite child. That's true. No, well, as it is with children, definitely there could be an easiest child. So if someone asked you on a bad day, which is your favorite, then you would say, well, that one, because they're always so easy. But of course, they all mean something very, very unique and you would be completely lost without any of them. And that's how I feel about every episode of the podcast, except some of them are boring. And some are better than others. Some of them are better than others.

Some don't work. Some just don't work. Sometimes you met someone who you worship, and it was a bit disappointing. That's actually true, isn't it? And you were a bit uptight and nervous. Okay, here's an example of one that I totally misread at the time and felt weird about.

Johnny Marr. So I interviewed Johnny Marr, went to Manchester. That's a good one. People like that one. Exactly. But I came out of it feeling like I'd dropped the ball and I hadn't done a good job with him. I'm not a Smiths expert. You know, there are sort of mega Smiths fans there.

And I felt anxious that I was letting them down and that I hadn't done a good job with Johnny. And I'd asked the wrong questions and it was just going to be annoying wrong so I couldn't even listen back to it immediately because it just there was other ones that were good to go and I could put those out and then weeks turned to months then a year and it was just sitting there and then I went back to it and I was like oh no this is good he was great he answered all my questions and it was just sitting there and then I went back to it and I was like oh no this is good he was great he answered all my questions and he was a brilliant interview so it went out but then I had to um as I have done a few times write an email and sort of apologize a little bit and say look I hope you didn't take this personally but isn't that funny though that

you can't always judge how well something's gone right after you've done it why why do you think well general i think general i think if i've done you know something on tv and uh i have a sense of it whether it's worked or not i think uh-huh i mean you know when great bits happen and you know when terrible bits happen but sometimes it's middling sometimes a conversation that can feel quite boring actually is fun to listen to that's the nice thing about podcasts as well come on then cornballs which ones have you listened to of yours yeah that you thought no i'm not having that that i didn't i can't tell you the ones i didn't know that would be rude to the person to the person exactly but you know i always know i'm going to get some good buccalese actionlees action. What about, have you listened to... I listen to the beginning and the end.

And then a little bit of the person. But then sometimes I tune out. Right, okay. But the ones I've really liked, I really like the Bob Mortimer one. We were talking about this the other day. Any ones... But I like the tree. I like the wise old tree.

And I like the dog. Rosie the dog. You know, the dog is real. Well well that's what you say but we've got history with fictional dogs that's true and i've never heard her talk like i've been in her company in real life but she's never talked she's shy and you make assumptions about her voice about what she sounds like do you know what i mean she's all over the place personality not very feminine voice, is it? No.

For a woman dog. No, no, that's true. Rosie. Was that so Jodie Morris? Do you regard him as an inspiration? That's a good question. Well, we both liked Animal Magic, didn't we? Because that went out of vogue for a while, didn't it? Anthropomorphizing animals.

Why? Because it's patronizing? Yeah, I think it was patronizing, and I think some people thought it wasn't scientific, but those weren't the actual... How would you know that the animal was really thinking that? Did anyone think that? Somebody in the Observer.

What, did they think that it was actual animal mind reading? No, but was there really a controversy about animal magic being unrealistic? I think it was viewed as... No! I think it was viewed as a little bit who viewed it that way you're saying it went out of vogue because people were worried about the science people felt that johnny morris was giving children the wrong idea about well there's enough there is i know what you're getting at here i think people thought that it was getting in the way of actually seeing animals as what they are. Because then they'd be shocked by footage of a lion murdering an antelope.

Or an elephant fucking another elephant. That was the thing. Suddenly from behind. He didn't really do lions, did he? He only did animals that you could get quite close to in the zoo. Well, he was a zookeeper. Yeah, and it would be. So it was a lot of, wasn't it a lot of penguins and things like that?

Maybe that's why it fell out of vogue, because zoos themselves are now sort of problematic in some ways for people. Some people, I don't know. Maybe that's what it was. Because you do, you know, attitudes to all sorts of things have changed and animals are included in there. What? Wasn't. If the thing is, if you, what? Hang on a second.

What's changed? It's offensive to rob any living creature of its agency by providing it with a voice. How's that? That's offensive. That's offensive. What you just said is offensive. Yeah.

Why is what he said offensive? I don't know. I'm just being provocative. But it seems to be the thing to say these days. You know, i do worry about it though seriously i worry because i worry about everything how dare you i am very disappointed do you think you can get out of any sticky social situation by saying how dare you only when someone has said i dare you and then you're saying it back to me. How dare you? Or just how dare you? Like this. How dare you?

I dare like this. Listen, this is very behind the scenes. But sometimes I, when Rosie's not feeling well, I do the voice of Rosie. Fuck off. How dare you? Sometimes. But she's still there. She's still there.

You do it very well because it's seamless. Yeah. I couldn't tell which is the real Rosie and which is you. You are a good impressionist. You've heard my Bowie. That's true. What was the other impression I used to be able to do? I used to sometimes do Roger Morgan.

I can't do it anymore. Anyway, but I can do Rosie. I like it when you sum up the people you're interviewing. At the beginning? Yeah, where you take a deep breath. And then you have a very pithy little surmisation of the person. Do you? I write it.

I like it when your voice switches from... You just become information buxton. That's right. Yeah, I like that. It's authoritative. I like it too. I'm glad you like it. You're like the captain of a ship.

You're gripping the wheel in two manly hands. That's right. Little hairy knuckles. I like this is a bonus bit i've written a little overview buckles knuckles buckles knuckles down but you know some people don't like it well they're idiots there's always people that don't like it for the bob mortimer episode i wrote a little encapsulation of bob's work with jim moyer Vic Reeves, and I thought it was a good little overview. But I got a tweet from a guy saying, I enjoyed the podcast, but you totally wasted seven minutes of my life with that intro. I'm more concerned that you take the tweet from the guy to heart. Right.

Is that all it takes? Yep. A tweet from a guy? A tweet from a guy. Because you don't know. Don't you find this when you get anonymous criticism online you invest that person with all your own best qualities you assume that they are intelligent you assume that they are successful handsome beautiful and

interesting and you think ouch it's like getting a bit of harsh criticism from someone you admire. Joe's thinking that. No, I say that's a flat no. Yeah, I'm not going to go with that one. No. I think it's more that you go through life imagining that most people like what you do. And, of course, a lot of people don't. And it's just reality coming home is quite painful.

I don't imagine they're particularly clever or... But more to the point, you don't know how old they are. You don't know whether they're particularly uh clever point you don't know how old they are you don't know whether they're educationally subnormal what kind of day they're having don't know whether they're in some sort of institution you don't know whether they're mad do you not look at any of the feedback for your films well then you get critics if you release a film you get like more than 200 professional critics writing long assessments of your work probably more than any other um art form right i guess in terms of like an industry built around the critical analysis of more than books for sure probably more than tv more than

radio but it's part of the ecology of life that there's people out there who hate what you do i'm doing a couple of programs at the moment for various reasons. I'm pretty sure they will get along with some good reviews, some bad reviews. And no one gets good reviews all the time for everything they do. It would be weird, wouldn't it? Sure. So you just got to just realize that's part of life. Come on.

You can't set yourself up for sunny days every day. It's not going to happen. It's like being at a party and you're the DJ and 90% of the people in the room are loving the music. Yeah. But then there's one guy in the corner with his arms folded just making faces at you. Is it Dizzy Rascal? It is Dizzy Rascal.

Is it Johnny Morris? In the corner. It's Dizzy Rascal and Johnny Morris. Dizzy Rascal is a big fan of Johnny Morris. Dizzy Rascal loves anthropomorphicizing animals. Johnny loves Dizzy. He loves grime. Yeah.

Does Dizzy Rascal do grime? He did. He was a grime pioneer. I suppose he was, yeah. So, yeah, that's who it is. But the thing is, the point is, don't concentrate on them. Concentrate on everyone else who's having a good time. Don't change the record to suit them.

You'll just alienate everyone else at the disco party. Well, what I think is the best thing to do is just plow your own furrow as much as possible. And the problem is the problem that we always had me and Joe with a lot of stuff is that it feels wrong to always do the same kind of thing. Like the way to be successful generally is to find what the most amount of people like and then you just do that all the time so the the ones you know i'm well aware that a lot of people really like the sort of funny lighter podcasts and they're not that fussed about the ones that are a bit more serious or with some writer they've never heard of or whatever but i really like those ones writers Because I like listening to those types of episodes

of other people's podcasts, you know what I mean? Definitely. So I feel as if it's nice to include all those different things. Johnny and Dizzy. What a weird, just weird that they turned up together at the disco. Johnny died, didn't he? Johnny Morris. It was the ghost of Johnny Morris.

Yeah. Turning up with Dizzy Roscoe. Dizzy Roscoe was doing the voice for the ghost of johnny morris that what it is that makes sense now this is the kind of sickening chit chat i'm offended that happens when three white privileged cis male cis male fuck boys get together oh what's a fuck boy i want to be a fuck boy i mean different about the other terminology but i'm excited about the fuck boy thing that's the thing isn't it is it what is a fuck this het fuck boys that sounds quite good doesn't it that could be a band is it too late to form a band who is i tell you your cousin got labelled a cishet fuckboy. Whoa, my cousin Justin.

Justin Theroux, yeah. For what? Because wasn't he in the Zoolander sequel? He wrote it. He wrote it. Right. Yeah. And because there was some problematic trans...

There was a character played by Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, yeah. I haven't seen the film, but it got it came in for some criticism yeah insensitive portrayal of a trans person and the i read a review that referred to many of the people involved with the production as cishet fuckboys doesn't really tell us what a fuckboy is what do you think it is i think it's just a general derogatory term. For a heterosexual man who reproduces. Just a tit.

He likes to... Oh, breeder. Oh, right. The definition I have here is, fuckboy, a weak or contemptible man. Oh, well, that's fair enough. Is that real melody? Have you seen my phone charger? I left it right there. Did you see it?

Have you got it? Where's my charger gone? Where's my charger gone? Where's my phone charger? The battery's about to die It was on the table Round and round in their heads Go the chord progressions The empty lyrics

And the impoverished fragments of tune And boom goes the brain box at the start of every bar, at the start of every bar. Boom goes the brain box. I was trying to think of some introductions for you both. I mean, I know that we're already into the podcast now, but I was going to say, as if it was a boxing match, I was going to say, on my left, journalist, documentarian, author,

Desert Island Disc Castaway the santa of banter louis theroux on my right director it's not a christmas themed show though is it no and i didn't i couldn't come up with one but you know you're good the santa battery is good the decanter you say something funny but it's in a big getting into the pugilistic i'm getting into the pugilistic roasting roast battle what you mean is i have a pile of bon mo produced all through the year and i carry them in a huge sack to deliver around the world in millions come back from that what's joe'sónica going to be I tried to think of I thought of the

Stephen Hawking of talking But then I thought That's not right No For a lot of reasons It means like Talk to a machine Yeah

If you don't talk to a machine Which isn't an accurate representative Yeah So what's your intro for me Well I didn't have one I got stuck I had the centre of banter for Louis and then I got stuck

I was hoping you might help you're creative the Easter bunny of funny hey that's a good one that's a very good one whoa what about my professional achievements though

writer and director and I was going to say something to describe our work together and 90s TV comedian award winning radio broadcaster yeah writer and film director yeah that covers it that's everything easter bunny of funny easter bunny of funny the easter but all right here we go ornish on my left journalist documentarian author desert island author Desert Island Disc cast away the centre of banter Louis Theroux I'm an author as well

on my right author, writer, director presenter 90s comedian satirical behemoth, genius handsome man cishet fuckboy

the Easter bunny for funny joe cornballs cornish yes thank you wow that's amazing thank you alright man now deserved a little gentle pony noise

the contemptuous pony I've put the contemptuous pony in my book have you? Yeah. It's a very useful noise. It's going to work with the audio book, but people who... How do you write it? Well, I just, I wrote, Joe then deployed his contemptuous pony noise.

Yeah. And hoped that people would imagine it. But that's what it is, if you buy the book and you're wondering. Imagine it. But that's what it is, if you buy the book and you're wondering. So, Lou, one thing I've been trying to build is a Louis Theroux on Desert Island Discs sampler. Let's see if it works. My friend Joe Cornish.

Well, I've rapped among friends. My friend Joe Cornish. That was the best bit. That was the best bit. That was the best bit. That's a good noise. That's one of your sighs. What was that in response to? Don't know.

A very probing question. That was Laverne really touching a deep psychological chord. That was me digging deep. You did a lot of sighs. There was a lot of breath on the Desert Island Discs interview. So here's the thing about doing Desert Island Discs. The first thing is they asked me a year before, so I had a year to think about going on it. The other thing is, like probably everyone,

I had in my mind kind of fantasized about what if you were asked and what would you choose as your records? And then when it happened, I kind of built it up. And I suppose I'd also always thought, oh, if I ever am asked, I'll only do it if I'm ready to do it in a spirit of bringing, kind of delivering the goods, opening up and talking about personal things.

So I may even have gone overboard, because I think you could also go on it and not talk about personal stuff. But I think I thought that's the price of admission is a little bit of spilling your guts so when i went on it i just had this feeling of i felt very almost divided i had this feeling about i'm really excited to do this it's great it's a very flattering thing to be asked to do and i'm going to talk about personal stuff which i'm not that excited about doing but i have to do it so it was almost like seeing these questions come in quite difficult questions one of the questions i think was what in your life making documentaries has changed you and it's that feeling of like oh i'm gonna have to actually dig and be introspective and go to a dark place

so i was trying not to be glib and it was expressed as a sigh why a a dark place? I don't know. I think it was because... Couldn't it have changed you in a fun way? A nice way? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. That's a great question. For some reason, I think I wanted to talk about... Because I think happy things maybe don't change you as much

or certainly don't leave as much of an imprint. Right, OK. They sort of glide off you. That's a shame the brain is like teflon for positivity and velcro for negativity i disagree i disagree why i think because i think happy things are fantastic obviously they're fantastic but do they uh you remember them you're yeah and you want to get back there don't you you want to keep having that hit of happiness don't the nexus yeah that's what you aspire to, isn't it?

Feelings of great happiness, I do. I remember those moments very, very clearly, yes. And I tend to bury the pain. Do you? I think I'm slightly the opposite. I'm not proud of it. Make a noise. It's time for a noise.

Let's see if I've got a noise on the sampler. Just to brighten the mood. Here we go noise see if i've got a noise on the sampler just to brighten the mood here we go look i've got this one i got two you did two you should sexy frog noises you should deploy those uh noises more frequently in your television work i think i will now that i know that i can do i never heard you make those noises me neither i was very over tweaked like i had this feeling of, I think I was quite nervous. And I think I thought that I was just aware of that. I had a sense of occasion.

I began talking in a way that I don't normally talk quite enunciated. But can I let you off the hook? Because do you do a lot of radio? Not that much. So you're talking to two seasoned radio pros. And it's a very revealing medium for the voice isn't it stomach noises oh yeah very very difficult also when you start listening to yourself it can be very very difficult you can get panicky in terms of forgetting how to breathe and stuff like that

it's quite a little psychological minefield especially the atmosphere of a studio one of those weird at least you don't have clicky mouth i don't think any of us ever had clicky mouth you're supposed to not eat chocolate aren't you before you go on the radio or get stoned oh dry mouth yeah sometimes people well that's another thing i think people if they've had a bit of a jazz cigarette they can get quite clicky mouths what do you think your best like radio voices like your best mic technique do you mean to sort of go quite close i don't really know if i know what you mean you did the sighing listen listen here's all the size that you did oh geez do you remember joe when we were on xfm some guy sent in a mini disc and i think he did it in a spirit of

enthusiastic affection but he had cut together over a few weeks every time either one of us said um r or you know any kind of little bit of hesitation or fluff i did a song of all our ums and rs you did it you did an um and r song that was after the guy yeah that was fun but this guy and the thing went on for about 10 minutes and we'd only been on xfm about four or five weeks or something. We get this mini disc of us just going, well, yeah, every nervous bit of vocalization. That's good. That's just adoration.

I think he... Or not. I don't think he was trying to be mean, but it completely destroyed my confidence. Did it? Yeah. For how long? Not difficult. Quite a while.

I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I got very self-conscious hey what did you say joe i said not difficult to destroy your to destroy your confidence just a random person with a tweet we've established can do it hey i didn't know you were so robust the thing i'm getting at is that you know i think i've told this story before but have if you work for the bbc you get voice training i had a little voice training session before i was a presenter on back row the radio for film review program and it lasted about half an hour with this lovely lady and she said do you have a pet i said yes i have a cat she took a piece of a4 paper and tore the corners off and stuck them to the microphone like little cat's

ears and said talk to this mic like you talk to your cat. That's sick. I was offended. I was really offended. I mean, I'm offended. And then she said, okay, the other thing to do is imagine you're in bed and you're talking. Go on. A nap, having a nap. You're in bed and you're talking to your partner

whose head is on the pillow next to you. And that's why everything on radio 4 is extremely sexy yeah slightly sexy right and that's why it's sort of weirdly compelling and addictive because no other radio station does it lauren laverne was doing sort of caresses you you have to lean into asmr yes but you did it automatically then i always asked you what your best you you which shows you're a natural you went straight close to the mic, straight quiet. It's quite creepy, Joël Gilberto. Hello, coming up.

What did you say? Joël Gilberto. He sings a bit like that. I find it a bit intimate, and I was trying to match Lauren Laverne's tone, and then you find you're sort of in a slightly unnatural, you're not completely playing your natural game. All right. Which may be the idea.

But I wonder, I've never been aware of people on that show sighing so expressively. So I sighed the most of anyone who's ever been. Have you ever listened to it ever before? On Desire and Disc. Yeah, man, I listen to it a lot. Do you? Yeah, yeah.

Do you? Okay. So maybe I overshot. Anyway, sorry, go on. All right, here we go. Montage of Sighs. That would be a good name for a band, yeah. Do you? Okay. So maybe I overshot. Anyway, sorry, go on. All right, here we go. Montage of Sighs. That would be a good name for a band, don't you think? I think it's more a romantic novel.

Right. Here we go. well are those all different ones? Yeah, man. That's extraordinary. All from one programme. I sound like I'm having an attack. Or smoking a massive dube.

Or having a relaxing wank. Do people say that word anymore? We covered similar territory on our radio show with the archers. Right, yes, you did a whole... I cut out all the sighs and non-verbal guttural noises from an episode of The Archers. Because when you're a radio actor, it's very important, that's one of the arrows in your quiver,

is to be able to express movement and dissatisfaction with grunting. With grunting. They're always coming into rooms and grunting and sighing. Exactly, you're very, very good at it. Emotional grunting. With grunting. They're always coming into rooms and grunting and sighing. Exactly. You're very, very good at it. Emotional grunting. Another famous film star who, of course, relies on grunting is...

Money Pit. Is Pierce Brosnan. Right. Who's a classic grunter. I think when anybody goes on radio it's a close mic environment it's a bit like if you've seen a Shakespeare production

where they're trying to make it more naturalistic but they have to use the actual words of Shakespeare but they'd quite like to add some other words but they can't

so they try and do it with noises so they go like oh methinks that does protest too much oh

mmm I haven't chosen a very good example. Modern noises. I haven't chosen a very good example. I'm obsessed. But they interject modern noises. That's a modern noise. Well, I keep on going on about this,

but the most modern noise I can think of, which is a very podcast noise, particularly from NPR style presenters, is when someone is saying something and the presenter wants to express surprise and interest. And the noise they use is, huh, huh, huh. In conversation with someone, it wouldn't be in a monologue that's a useful noise it's an affirmation but it also has a yeah that's quite natural to me saying i hear what you're saying but i want to hear more but i haven't heard that i only started hearing that noise a few years ago i see and i know that i only started doing because i do it myself now and i never used to do it huh it sounds to me a little bit dismissive. It's sort of hoodathunkit.

Yeah, exactly. It's the hoodathunkit noise, but with an intellectual sheen. Huh. Huh. It's usually about, you know, someone gives you a legal immigrant stat. Huh.

Really? To me, it's like, I'm interested, but not that interested. I'll give you a noise and then we'll talk about something else. I can't be bothered to actually respond to that with words. Is that the noise? Yeah. Huh.

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I liked it. I enjoyed it. I liked the beginning of it. I liked the first half. Yeah, first half. Bongo, I'm pointing at Joe and I'm saying bongo. Especially the beginning. That night of madness was very good. Yeah, man, that first 25 minutes or whatever it is. I don't get why he killed himself. It's at a spoiler alert. Are you supposed to do the spoiler alert before or after? I'll do the spoiler in the intro. He done a whoopsie at the Grammys.

What? He turns up her new manager's desk. He didn't do a whoopsie. No, he didn't. He did. You can't come back. He just stumbled around on stage. Yeah, I mean whoopsie at the grammys what he turns up her new manager's there he did you can't come back he just stumbled around on stage whoops he turns up he did not just stumble around on stage he did a week he did a whoops he did a public wee wee but he didn't public and there's no coming back from that her evil english manager is there when he arrives and the evil english manager says you're you're her back. She's not interested in you. He goes very hard on him. He's too big for you.

And then he's like, oh, maybe he's right. I think I'll kill myself. Well, there's more to it than that. There's daddy issues, you know, with Who Do You Want to Flip? Oh, Rourke. Who Do You Want to Flip has got a lot to answer. Who plays the dad? Krusty O'Donnell?

Who's the elderly actor that plays the dad chris christopherson no the dad he's his brother the brother oh there's the old sam elliott well i wanted to do some sam elliott but they argue about the dad don't they they argue about their childhood and who was the favorite and stuff yeah yeah there's daddy issues going on there's alcoholism there's clearly that pills yes there's an addiction to some sort of pills. He's struggling with a lot of stuff. But the English manager tips him over the edge. He tips him over. Did you not think he was good in that role?

I thought he was excellent. I thought he was very good. But that's the story of A Star Is Born. That's the third remake, I believe. So they can't just completely reinvent the narrative to that degree. Fourth. In one of them, maybe the first one. There's a black and white one.

The incident of embarrassment at the award show changes. In one of them, it's the older star slapping the younger star in public, isn't it? In this one, he disgraces himself by being drunk at the Grammys. And doing a wee-wee. Does he do a wee-wee? Yes, he does a wee-wee. And struggles to play the guitar. The film reaches its peak in the wee-wee scene and struggles to get it back, I think.

Oh, it's peaked way before then, I think. Do you think? So if that's the embarrassing thing in the 2018 version, what will the embarrassing thing be in the 2040 version? Oh, good question, good question. It'll be shit by then, surely. The thing is, the embarrassing thing... It's diminishing in seriousness, isn't it?

So it'll be something quite minor, like he wears the wrong colour shoes. But it's a peculiar thing in the modern version, isn't it? It's a peculiar thing to write, like to choose, like, pissing yourself in public. Isn't it? It's an odd thing to go for. Yeah.

Has anyone ever pissed themselves? I would have said that's not enough. That's not quite what it's kind of good because it's so sort of random and weird and gross who pissed themselves in real life didn't someone do piss themselves at glastonbury marky smith maybe no did he i think he might have done it's undignified that's for sure do you think anyone's done a shit you know shat themselves on stage well g, Gary Lineker shat himself in the World Cup, didn't he? And that's why he had in 20... What was the big one?

That happens a lot though. Professional footballers shitting themselves left, right and centre. I think athletes do it. They do it. It's a way of getting more speed. That's why they all have to have a big bath at the end.

Just to wash the tods off. Actually, they can run faster, can't they? It's like throwing... Yeah, when they slide into the goal. Stop out of a balloon. That's because often one of the other teammates has readied the ground with some bum slots. In football, it happens a lot.

One of the fuckboys has gone in ahead of time with some lubricant, some trouser lubricant. There's a dedicated position. In the modern game, it's become increasingly a feature in the modern game. Feces. You're so naive. But listen, do you fancy having a go at talking like Sam Elliott? Because that was a good character.

He listens to it beforehand. Do you know how he does this? He's prepared this. I haven't prepared this. And then we arrive like stooges. No, all I've done is do the clips. Plus you're like a really good impressionist. For those of you who haven't seen it, I'm going to play a few clips.

This is the brother of the Bradley Cooper character. The much older brother, yeah. Older brother. Who's speaking through a moustache. Speaking through a moustache. And also just has this kind of accent where you can't really understand what he's saying. I mean, he's got a brilliant voice.

He's all deep and kind of grab like a sacks. But he doesn't really mark it when he gets it. He's kind of carrying on pulling it, I think. You should have teared for that piece of shit you idolized for no goddamn fucking reason. He can speak more clearly when he's angry. When he's angry, he's like, you gottaize for no goddamn fucking reason he could speak more clearly when he's angry when he's angry or you gotta come on well fucking just say fucking goddamn fucking can you understand the kind of acting i like though because he actually is better people talk

isn't it you can't understand what they say half the time. Sometimes they talk, but it's also an actor thing, isn't it? This is what actors do to compete. They out-quiet each other. And make it, yeah. They go quieter and quieter. Less intelligible. Yeah. Well, so that they're trying less hard than the other actor.

Didn't Marlon Brando kind of invent that? The mumble. Mumble. Yeah, he's the first of the mumble. Well, he had cotton wool in his cheeky cheeks, didn't he? Yeah, not all the time. He was the first out of Mumble. Well, he had cotton wool in his cheeky cheeks, didn't he? Yeah, not all of them. He was the first out of Mumble. And now you've got Mumble rapping.

Do you like the Mumble rap? Mumblecore. Mumble rap like who? Mumblecore is movies, though, right? Yeah, Mumblecore is movies. Well, 50 Cent was always quite good because he didn't really open his mouth that wide. Greta Gerwig was part of the Mumblecore film movement.

50 Cent was the first of the mumblers, was he? I don't know if you'd call him mumbly, but not opening his mouth very wide seemed to be his thing. How about A$AP Rocky? Is he a mumbler? I don't know. Some of them are quite sort of gibberish-y. Oh, I know who's a mumbler.

Playboy Carty. Oh, Playboy Carty. He's always mumbling. Never heard of him. Have you not? No. He's big. Is he related to Todd Carty? Yes. Playboy Carty. He's always mumbling. Never heard of him. Have you not? No. He's big. Is he related to Todd Carty?

Yes. Playboy Carty's Todd Carty's son. That would make more sense. Todd Carty, famous for playing Tucker Jenkins. Tucker Jenkins. In Grange Hill. Thanks, Lou. Okay, one more bit of Sam Elliott.

Tell you one thing though you never bought a girl on stage before that was more comprehensible he was talking to someone he didn't know that well so he had to enunciate maybe this is the key to because you know I think you're a very good actor no I don't know that

because so far you've not exploited the fullest of my acting skills because I don't think you've found your voice. But you've got an actor. It started with a compliment and then it went, it boomeranged on you and it wasn't a compliment. But this is what I'm building up to. Right. Is that Sam Elliott's found his voice.

Yes. Right. That's a voice. That's a voice. That's a voice. I don't fucking do that. I mean, what else are you going to do with that voice apart from act? You can't work in retail.

No. You can't work at a drive-thru McDonald's. What do you think is the closest you've got to finding your voice? In acting? Yeah. Like, what is your voice? It's a lot of pressure, isn't it, to think about that? It is a lot of pressure.

Well, you've got to give him some lines. That's what happens to an actor if you ask them to speak without a script. They just freeze. What's my best... Who am I? Say in your voice, I'll tell you one thing, he's never brought a girl out on stage before.

Tell you one thing, he's never brought a girl out on stage before. No, I don't think that is it. Do you think that's how Sam Elliott... I'm humiliated all over again. Do you think that's how Sam Elliott speaks just in his day-to-day life? Yes, exactly. It was too clear, wasn't it? Do you think so? Or Sam Elliott... I'm going to humiliate it all over again. Do you think that's how Sam Elliott speaks... Normally.

...just in his day-to-day life? Yes, exactly. It was too clear, wasn't it, what he said? Do you think so? Phone him up. Mumble in your own way. How about I speak to Sam Elliott, please? Hello, yes, Sam Elliott here.

What are you thinking for this one? Well, I was thinking the kind of mumbly Sam Elliott. Oh, yes, well, I mean, I can definitely do that for you. Okay, listen. Is there anything else you'd like? Lou and I can work as directors. Okay. And let's get you to Sam Elliott. So what's your

first reading of the line? I'll tell you one thing. He's never brought a girl in. Say it again. Just say the words. Just say the words. No inflection. It's been a long time since I've done an audition. And action. I'll tell you one thing. He's never brought a girl out on stage before. He did

a little head nod and a little eye. A little eye glance. After I'll tell you one thing he's never brought a girl out on stage before he did a little head nod and a little eye a little eye glance after I'll tell you one thing ok so this next one we're going to tag team where do you want me to go drop the look just relax the face and just don't move your teeth at all

in fact keep your teeth clenched together and close your eyes ok ready don't think about it action I'll tell you one thing there's no And close your eyes Okay, ready? Don't think about it Action I'll tell you one thing There's no... I was helping It is better already

Is it? Yeah Do it again I'll tell you one thing He's never brought a girl out on stage before. I liked that. Did you? Throw something in.

Say it as though you're in a lot of pain. I'll tell you one thing. He's never brought a girl out on stage before. I think the teeth thing is a misdirection. Relax the teeth. It's getting Bronhorn. Relax the teeth. Close your eyes, but don't open yet. Do everything you just did. Relax the teeth. Do's getting Bronhorn. Relax the teeth. Close your eyes, but don't open.

Yeah. Do everything you just did. Relax the teeth. Do I have to keep my eyes closed still? No, try it with that. Okay. So you've got pain, eyes closed. Oh, eyes closed.

Yeah, American accent. Pain, eyes closed, relax the teeth, American accent. I'll tell you one thing. He's never brought a girl out on stage before. See, that's good already, isn't it? That was actually good. That could be out of a Robert Altman film. one thing he's never brought a girl out on stage before see that's good already isn't it that was actually good that could be out of a robert altman that would could be so your natural voice might be american because it's far away like the further away you get from me is the better isn't it amen

amen what's been my best role what have i been best in i tell you the thing i always think of whenever i think of acting like i don't do acting anymore really it's a shame but maybe i will when i grow into my looks a bit more maybe i'll be back it'll be like farnsworth doing the straight story getting nominated for an oscar do you but you were saying your best role best role you look at that of your if you're the thing i always think of the compliment that meant most of me at the time was when we were doing the Adam and Joe show and we did the 1980s house. And I played the matriarch of the Fatboy Slim family. That's right. Who were all web designers.

We watched that recently. And I remember Jane Goldman saying. Why? Yeah, why did you watch that? It's a long story. I was doing some research into the 80s. Yeah, that's a good thing to look at. Yeah, that's a good thing to look at.

It was funny, though. I'm trying to remember some of the jokes. It's very funny. You're good. You play a very gregarious woman. Yeah. Who owes a little bit to your mother. Right, right.

Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, but it's very, very funny. You're freaking out with the soda stream. I think there's a kitchen nightmare moment. Well, you're looking through the Face magazine and you're looking at Boy George and you say something funny I can't remember. I remember the thing about...

This isn't a good look, though, to be fawning over one's own work. Well, it's okay. It's the 100th podcast. This is all about me. Okay, but you think that's your number one performance, your best performance? Which was the bit that Jane Goldman liked?

She said... The whole bit. She just said your acting was really good and i know no one had ever paid me a compliment on my acting before i thought wow i'm acting i'm an actor but it's big you see you've got to find the right vehicle for that sort of performance well i'm hoping bigness comes back again carrie you need to possess the whole movie or atkinson rowan atkinson you need a whole he needs a whole film built around him and louis that's your job i'll see what i can do you had a series more or less built around you though didn't you other persuasionists was that built around you and last chances oh yeah maybe well i sort of wrote that with Tony McMurray.

It wasn't big enough, though. It wasn't big and silly enough. No, I'll tell you why not. Because the pilot for that show, which was about a band in Brighton, a guy who's part of a band and they're slightly loserish. And the pilot for that was directed by Stephen Merchant, who was a friend of the co-writer, Tony McMurray. And they were, I remember when we did the pilot, they were filming the second series of The Office.

So they were right at the vanguard. They were enjoying the success of the first series that was just taking off. And that was the beginning of a return to a very naturalistic style of comedy after everything had been quite big for a while I think and grotesque

you know what I mean so I'm waiting for it to spring back so you were directed to play I was directed to turn it down turn it down

that's always the direction I get down down a bit down a bit down no further I turn it up you're going to find

something where you could turn Buc-ee-lees up to the max wigs high heels flowery dresses No further. I'd turn it up. You've got to find something where you could turn Buckeleys up to the max. Yeah. Wigs, high heels, flowery dresses, screeching. That's the other thing is that I used to like dressing as a woman whenever I got the opportunity. And now I don't know where you're at with that kind of thing.

Probably it's not okay. I don't know. There's got to be a good reason for it and there was seldom a good reason with me there was a good gag in the 80s house with the kid eating some ready break and saying mom what's happened to me i'm glowing he played it very well didn't he that kid yeah he went on to be in a lot of stuff that kid oh yeah yeah and what was your line was it's okay look it's central heating for kids yeah wow you really did see it recently i don't remember anything he's like a beautiful bird is that boy george

that's what you say about boy george look he's like a beautiful bird. So ebullient. That was fun. It's sort of very moving because she's so ebullient, but you know she's so fragile. She did. Like mums so often are. She used to ricochet from extreme enthusiasm and joy to tears. It's all ruined. It's all ruined. I can't remember what you were...

Oh, it's so beautiful. It's all ruined. She's so excited by the house. What were you freaking out about that was ruined? I can't remember. I think it was you trying to do something with the soda stream. But then when the daughter gets hooked on smack, because she's seen the anti-smack advert in the face.

That's right. Hero and sheep. Isn't she? She says, where did you find that? It's in the playground. She said, yes, I've got you the dirty needles. That's right. Oh, this is terrible.

We're laughing at our own stuff. It's terrible. I just bumped into you at the supermarket. I was backing out of a parking space and I hit your car. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But you're angry now. Very angry now.

And that's making me very angry too. No, fuck you. And your mother too. so how do you feel about uh looking at some report cards he's got i'm worried about this he's actually got some order cards that's what we used to call them wasn't it westminster report cards yeah smell the report cards i found a stack of them you kept a lot of them didn't you my dad did i found them in his belongings that's nice that you kept those i've got them all i bought down the wrong thing yours as well yeah well yeah well let's split them up we'll divvy them between me

and louis all right because i don't think you should be reading your own you shouldn't be self-editing what would you say your oh 83 can i say before any reading of the report cards how did you feel about reports i remember clearly feeling sick to my stomach when they arrived and when i saw the envelope flop through the letter box and i knew that it was that term's report it used to sort of ruin the beginning of a holiday because I was so terrified so mortified by the idea of the judgments that were coming my way and my parents being disappointed by them I didn't mind getting reports because I think I usually did all right right okay the thing is they came at the beginning of the holes.

Yeah. So there was a general feeling of, ah, fuck it. Wasn't there? It was like, oh, you know, so you might get a little bit ticked off, but then it was, way! In this one, you came last in the class. Is that true? In French and physics with mathematics.

22nd place out of 22 shut up 34 percent you got on the physics exam whoa what year was that 83 not that i improved in physics that was my first year i would have thought you'd be all right at the french let's see what the french teacher had to say about it although his position has gone down he has had a reasonable term and he's worked quite well however there are many weaknesses and he can't afford to relax his efforts mad oh mate i don't know when i read these as an adult i can see the housemaster and the teachers knowing the parents will read it yeah so there's a little bit of performance in there probably isn't there yeah like making it

seem as if they are absolutely on top of your every foible and strength and weakness really demonstrating value for money well there must be a lot of techniques to write reports because imagine how many they've got to do exactly and they've got to make them each one ding dong we've got a big old stack the parents need to feel that their children are getting proper care and attention, individual care. Plus, this is an expensive school. And apart from you, the child, this is all the parents getting, really. This is the only evidence of what they've spent their money on. Apart from the keys to the banking world.

So in physics, he has his ups and downs, but his heart is in the right place and he wants to understand what is going on. But I do wish he would get some shirts that fit it, as otherwise he is quite smart. Yeah, but you had a funny fashion thing going on. I know exactly who that's from. Is that Hepburn Scott? Yeah.

Your shirts were too tight. Were they? Yeah, because you did your top button up. You were all like Mr. Boa Constrictor. No, I had big shirts. I've never been a tight shirt guy. But you did your top button up you were all like mr canboa constrictor no i had big shirts i would i've never been a tight but you were a button up guy oh you were not a hairy chest exposed man no you had a hair but i had baggy i had shirts untucked don't you remember they they were almost like i think he used to have stylishly caftan you had a look didn't you it was like an afghan sort of northern alliance tribesman thing with his his

sort of shirt tails right out like a little skirt and it would hang about and you do a little dance you had a little dancer you used to do and you had bells on your fingers do you remember joe what like a dancing boy yeah like a dancing boy a bunch of barzy and they say look at buckles he's sticking around and we used to skip and he used to dance with his belt and his skirts

dressed as a little lady would twirl around do you remember that? what was the worst report you ever got? was there a phrase that sticks in your head from those days Joe?

I got some bad ones go on Joe so I went through a really stupid phase at school where I just didn't give a shit I think I remember that what was the other phase? bad ones go on joe so i went through a really stupid phase at school where i just didn't give a shit i think i remember that i don't what was the other phase it was particularly we started

studying charlemagne oh yeah and my god it was the most boring thing i'd ever i mean it just felt like dying you know when you're young with the were fine with the other French kings. Well no any French king. But when you're young and you're full of sap and energy and excitement and spunk. You're absolutely brimming over with spunk. And you're told to study some medieval French king. It was terrible. But I swan through on my art and in creative language like story writing. So that kept me afloat.

Anything involving the learning of facts, I was not good at at all. Or any abstract concept. I really couldn't grasp. Making stuff up and telling stories and stuff. Very, very good. Very strong. They made, not special allowances but i remember in a level because you started out doing history and then at a certain point they

said you know what fine yeah it's a waste of time you don't need to do history so i did history of art art and they let you do art as your third a level that's right you got slightly jammy it was well jammy what would they what hadmy. What had you done to... Just because I was flatlining. There was nothing else that wouldn't have been just a complete waste of time. Yeah. Were you getting reports that said your son is a... Moron. A cheeky, disruptive...

There was a short period when I was a cheeky, disruptive one. Yeah. It was only a term, though, I think. I had a shot when my mum brought some round, and I'd thought that I just sort of always did pretty well in my report cards. And my mum brought one round and said, oh, I think you'll like this, it's quite funny. And there was one or two of the maths A-level ones just said, he's wasting my time, he's wasting his own time,

he's disrespectful, he's cheeky it was actually quite upsetting to read it wow we all did quite like there was a class where there was a teacher who said right if you don't stop it's julian thorles now look now look if you don't stop miss i'm gonna go out of this classroom i'm gonna stand outside the door and i'm gonna wait till someone comes out and apologizes and the lesson will not continue until that happens did he say that the lesson did not continue obviously what's he thinking he just waited outside for 35 minutes 101 that's not a useful strategy for maybe i'm exaggerating at 35 minutes now look he was the one that told me if you don't buck up your ideas you're gonna end up like mike

adler he left school last year and in the holidays do you know where i saw him he was working at a petrol station that something similar happened to me when i was working in tower records in piccadilly yeah and one of our old school teachers came and bought some video cassettes, it probably would have been, or some records. And he was in the queue and then he came to be served by me and he looked at me and gasped and said, Joe Cornish, how the mighty have fallen. He used that phrase?

Yeah. The weird part is the mighty. Well, because I made films, films i directed plays i was a bit of a sort of what's the character in rushmore called max thingy twat face max face i was a bit of a max twat face yeah is he not called rushmore no why is it called rushmore because that's the name of the school all right and what did you say in return i I was going to give you a discount on that fucking wham record, but now I'm not, so shit off, sir. I just felt very depressed.

Did it upset you? Yeah, I just felt, fuck, maybe he's right. Oh, that's just bullshit. Isn't it strange how little phrases that people say, maybe he didn't even think about it and never gave it another thought. He must have been joking. And then afterwards, for the rest of your life, you might remember that. But I don't know.

Maybe he was being ironic. Like, how the mighty have fallen on their feet, working in one of Britain's top video stores. Give me a discount. Now you're in this position of power. The holiday horn, it goes do-do-do. Holiday time. so it was my birthday recently and one of the presents i got from our friend Danny was Spying Through a Keyhole, a box set of David Bowie demos that he made in 1969 that were released earlier this year in April. So these have never been heard before, some of these songs.

And they include titles like Mother Grey, Love All Round, Goodbye 3D Joe, and Angel Angel Grubby Face. Good titles. Angel Angel Grubby Face. And so I haven't heard these. I haven't listened to them yet. Really? Yeah. So I thought we could have a go at imagining.

Which one shall we imagine? It's got to be Angel Angel Grubby Face, hasn't it? It's got to be Angel Angel Grubby Face. Well, I've written one. Have you? It's called Goodbye 3D Joe. But you were wanting to do Angel Angel Grubby Face. Well, we've written one. Have you? It's called Goodbye 3D Joe. But you were wanting to do Angel, Angel, Grubbyface. Well, we can do both.

Angel, Angel, Grubbyface! That's very strident. He was much more fae. Oh, was he? This is 1969. He hasn't been... You see, I might have got that wrong as well. But this was him trying out mid-70s.

That's why he didn't release it, because the world wasn't ready yet. Angel, angel grubby face the way you eat is such a disgrace. You've got chocolate all over the place. Angel, angel

grubby face you are such a big disgrace It's something like that, isn't it? All over the human race It's not as easy as you might think it would be. Angel, angel, grubby face Fluttering there in God's good grace Oh, nice.

Mucky, mucky, marks upon Your baby face is totally wrong. Clean your face, you silly angel. You can't come into God's presence looking like that. Wash your hands, old grubby face, sitting on the steps of my guitar like a Japanese lady. This reminds me of, do you remember doing the David Bowie convention? Was it? Yes. In 1988. I found

a recording of that. Oh God, no. Do you want to hear a little bit? You don't have to. Go on then. Are you ready? Are you ready to go? Are you standing on the edge of your seat? I'm ready as I left the bed. Hello and welcome to the International David Bowie Convention. I'm your host, David Bowie.

On my right is David Bowie. Hello, David. Hello. David's got a bit of a cold. And on my left, may I introduce a few of my albums, such as Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars and Pin-Ups.

Is he with us? David, wait a minute. Ziggy's daughter's in the spot is from Mars and pinups. You see where that's... David, wait a minute. The eldest one had glass legs. Bowie. Hello, David. Well, David. No, I'm not talking to you. David, I'm talking to you.

David, hello. This is David Bowie tuning a radio. This is David. That's it. This is David Bowie clipping his toenails. This is David Bowie putting his shoes on. This is David Bowie going through a door. This is David Bowie going through a door this is David Bowie doing his homework 1988 that was

we were on holiday in New York we were staying at a friend's house Chad we were 19 well I was 19 how old were you Lou? 88 I would have been just turned 18

I was 14 and we were staying at our friend Chad's house. That's the only way to justify that. You were 19. Recording. Chad was away, I think, and we were sat around, a bit steamed. And we got into doing David Bowie voices. I do think over the years our impressions have improved.

Well, there are a little more nuance. They seem a little bit forced. No, yes. A little bit forced. Now, yes. A little bit forced. Where did the was a come from? I suppose it was... It's because when he says the word was. It was, yes.

Was there a specific interview that it was based on? I was feeling very, very blue. There's that one where he says theatricality that we liked a lot. Is that on the special extras of the film Labyrinth? I think it might be behind the scenes. Theatricality is a word. Yes, but not the way David says it. And he also said superlative.

He also said superlative, which is not a word. And he says, you're no spring chicken. You're no chicken, son. Isn't that in the Labyrinth extras, or a making of Labyrinth? Yeah, maybe. Definitely there's a lot of theatricality flying around in the Labyrinth extras. I do think our impressions have got a little bit better. Thank you. They were a little bit overexcited and flying around in the labyrinth extras. I do think our impressions have got a little bit better. Thank you.

They were a little bit overexcited and forced back in the 80s. They were heavily reliant on just the word was and was a. I think we were very, very stoned. Yeah. It was very powerful marijuana. I wasn't, though. You were very drunk on beer. On beer.

Me and Louis were very, very high on marijuana that we'd acquired in Zentral Park. Zentral Park. Zentral Park. Yes. It was very exciting for us because America was a very exciting time, wasn't it? Yes. But this is all throat clearing before. This is all throat clearing before.

So we've had a go at Angel, Angel Grubby Face. What does it actually sound like? This is the first time I've heard it. Let's see if we're anywhere close. Gazing down upon her face, suddenly all of us. Your briefcase princess by your side took us away, the dew. It's good, isn't it? I mean, that's why we're not... Very different from the Bowie that I was doing.

Yeah, and me. It was nothing to do with chocolate. Yours is quite close. Now we should play Joe's one. Here we go. Hello. Yes, I'm ready now. I'm ready to sing.

I'll just have a quick line of cocaine. A cheeky bump up the south. I didn't have cocaine in those days. Is that true? Good chorus. Very good. Quite straight. Oh, nice. Assemble the frames from a box of cream crackers. Then all the dimensions would spring into life.

Dennis Quaid fighting sharks. Jason's big bloody knife. Your eyes might feel funny. You might start to feel ill. New dimensions of terror in Amityville. So goodbye 3D Joe. Wow. The world is much flatter since you had to go.

They said you were just a gimmick But don't listen to them, they're curmudgeonly cynics And goodbye 3D Joe The world lacks dimension since you had to go But you left the door ajar And now they're releasing 20 more avatars Then imagine my thrill I almost wet my knickers, When they announced a new movie from Robert Zemeckis,

That used a technique they called Active Shutter, That could lift 3D films out of the shitty old gutter. The men put on bow ties, the girls their best dress, To attend the premiere of the Polar Express And they gasped and they marveled And offered their thanks For the gift to the world Of a 3D Tom Hanks

The glasses were plastic The lenses liquid crystal The IMAXs sold out from Berlin to Bristol But it soon became clear It was just a device For cinema owners To charge double the price goodbye 3d joe the world is much flatter since you had to go they said you were just a gimmick

but don't listen to them they're curmudgeonly cynics and goodbye 3d jo Joe The world lacks dimension since you had to go But you left the door ajar And now they're releasing 20 more avatars I don't know about that one. I think that's actually that's actually bonus. Wow, you pulled it out of the bag

for the 100th episode. Thanks, man. That was impressive, man. That was impressive, Gerry. Because it's like a peon. Is that the word? Peon. Peon, yeah. To 3D film technology.

Well, Bowie absolutely adored films. He was a cineast. And he loved anything that would absorb him into the theatricality of the experience. And if he was still alive today, God bless him, he'd be very excited about the forthcoming avatar films he likes he absolutely adores little perp blue bums i loved avatar i just love watching little perp blue bums hopping about from tree to tree what do they do with the tails when they plug it into the ears

what do they do why do they do? Why do they do it? Because they're bonding with them. They're bonding. They plug them into the tails of the horses. No, they're not having sex. The horses, yeah. They're just having a...

They're docking. They've got a link. They dock with them, yeah. A mental link. Okay. It's not all about sex. Wow, that was amazing, man. Okay, do you want to hear what Goodbye 3D Joe actually sounds like?

Yes. Not really much away. So that's the sort of thing you're dealing with. Not that far off, was it? I think you got it. The voice, you just were an octave too low. He hasn't found his sort of chord progression yet, has he? He's working in kind of major chords. He's working in quite sort of tuneful, melodic chords.

Yeah, well, he was still coming out of his... Minor and trotted, yes. Coming out of his Anthony Uli things. He's coming out quite sort of tuneful, melodic chords. Yeah, well, he was still coming out of his minor and haunted, yes. Coming out of his Anthony Newley phase. He's coming out of his Anthony... I'm just coming out of... David, are you ready? I'm just coming out of my Anthony Newley phase. I'll be two minutes.

I'm ready now. I'll write a Bowie song for the 200 Wait This is an advert for Squarespace Every time I visit your website I see success Yes, success The way that you look at the world Makes the world want to say yes. It looks very professional. I love browsing your videos and pics and I don't want to stop.

your members area and spend in your shop these are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with squarespace just visit squarespace.com buxton for a free trial and when you're ready to launch because you will want to launch use the offer code code BUCKSTONE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So put the smile of success on your face with Squarespace! Yes. Continue. Hey, welcome back, podcats. That was a little bit of Rosie you heard growling. That was fun growling, happy growling.

Sometimes she'll come into the room and get on the sofa while me and my wife are watching TV and she'll have a tea towel or something in her jaws and she will waggle it at us, hopefully. And then we have to grab onto the other end of the tea towel and wrench it around, and that makes her happy. So that's what you heard then. Rosie! I don't know where she's gone. I heard her racing off and yipping. Well, it is Friday night. So that was Joe Cornish and Louis Theroux chatting with me there beforehand. Very grateful to them both for making the time, not just for this episode, but for so many other episodes before,

and for continuing to be so loyal and supportive whenever I ask for their help. loyal and supportive whenever I ask for their help. By the way, Joe wanted me to tell you that he is now on Instagram. Previously, Cornballs has been shy or reticent or aloof, however you want to read it when it comes to social media. But earlier this year, he decided that he was going to take a plunge and join Instagram. His name on there is Mr. Joe Cornish, all one word. M-R-J-O-E-C-O-R-N-I-S-H. I had a look there earlier today and he's posted quite a few pictures from various parts of his illustrious career. A few bits and pieces from old Adam and Joe days. I pop up there once or twice. And there's on set pictures from his films, Attack the Block and The Kid Who Would Be King.

Bits and pieces of him working with Edgar. A picture of him on the set of one of the Star Wars movies. Saturn and Millennium Falcon, all sorts of things. The next episode of this podcast, 101, will be the Catcher in the Rye book club. Myself, Richard Ayoade, and Sarah Pascoe

talking about J.D. Salinger's classic novel in a pretty informal and unstructured way. But look, as it's episode 100, yeah, I'm just going to pretend that I've won some sort of award and say thank you to everyone who has helped and does help with this podcast, especially everyone who has recorded episodes with me, whether they've gone out yet or not. I really appreciate your time. Thank you very much.

Thanks to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for production support and Matt Lamont for additional editing on this episode. But thanks also to Annika Meissen and Jack Bushell for their work on previous episodes. Thank you so much to Helen Green

and Luke Drozd for the beautiful podcast and merchandise artwork that they've provided over the years. Thanks to Backstreet Merch who do the podcast merchandise. There's a link in the description of this podcast should you wish to go and visit and see what there is there. Thanks to Scroobius Pip, who helped me out very early on, giving me advice about the podcast and being generally supportive. Thanks, Scroobius. Thanks very much to everyone at ACAST.

I really appreciate all their hard work, finding sponsors and dealing with technical queries and all sorts of things. They're always helpful and friendly and I'm very grateful to them. Thanks very much to Kevin and Toby at Really Quite Something Limited for designing and maintaining the Adam Buxton app. Thanks to various other friends, family, and colleagues who helped me with the podcast, Mark and Zivi, Garth, Uncle Dave, James Sterling, Clive Tullow, Dan Hawkins,

Becca, Emily and Chiggy. But I think the three people who I owe the greatest debt of gratitude to as far as the podcast goes are Rosie, of course. She isn't here right at this moment. at this moment. She's off yipping. But boy, I really love Rosie. And in many ways, she's the reason that this podcast came together. When I used to take her out for walks back in the early days and record voice notes and then think to myself, oh, well, maybe I could do a podcast. And record voice notes. And then think to myself. Oh well maybe I could do a podcast. And she's transformed my life Rosie.

In all sorts of ways. So. Thank you Rose. And of course Seamus. He deserves another thank you. I suspect. I can be. A bit of a pain in the arse to work with.

And Seamus. Is always nice about it. As well as being very good at his job. So thanks, Seamus. And speaking of people who have to put up with me being a bit of a pain in the arse, thank you very much to my wife. My wife. She probably won't listen to this.

If she did, she would find it cringy, I think. But I'm very lucky to know her. And she does a great deal to enable me to continue making this podcast. One final thank you to you. Yes, that's right. You listened right to the end of this. Good for you. If you keep listening, there's even a You listened right to the end of this. Good for you.

If you keep listening, there's even a little extra final nugget of stupidity after like and subscribe. That's your reward for battling right the way through a whole episode of this nonsense. No, seriously, I appreciate it. And until next time, we share the same sonic space. Please take care. Did you know that I love you? Bye! Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Please like and subscribe.

Give me a lick of smile and a thumbs up. Nice lick of smile and a thumbs up. Give me a lick of smile and a thumbs up. Nice lick of smile and a thumbs up. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Please like and subscribe.

Give me a lick of smile and a thumbs up. Nice lick of smile and a thumbs up. Thank you. and also sleep with earplugs yeah i did have earplugs did you it was still audible slice through the earplugs actually you know when there's been noises outside the house we when we lived in harleston on occasion there'd be kids who were a bit more roughy tufty and you'd say can you guys can you please stop doing what you're doing or you'd shout out the window and it did it went it didn't go so well were they members of the rufty tufty club i think a couple of them might have been because you know that's a prison gang the rufty tufty club when i know it's what the tufty clubs evolved into to keep itself like uh up to speed with young people there's the's the Nazi lowriders, Aryan Nations,

and the Rufty Tufty Club. Is that really true? In some way, they're above the two. They're sort of the worst of the prison gangs because it's more like an organised crime gang. They merged with the Sooty Club. Thank God you brought it round to something funny. Not just a... Yeah. city club the city club city and

as you said yeah so do you sweep a lot of it it's weird a lot of it comes out of children's tv for some reason is that really so is it and and they're all a subset of the puffing book club is that true yeah like blue you have like Blue Peter badges Yeah Depending on who you've shanked Yeah but it's also A lot of the things That started as nice things

Have devolved So like It used to be You help a lady This is in America They force old ladies Across the road They force them

Across the road When they don't want to Well they don't want to go Really Yeah Come on You're coming out with us I don't care

To pick up your pension you silly bitch it's a shame about the bad language isn't it because otherwise otherwise it would be

it would be really good stuff