THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.124 - SARA BARRON AT LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL 2019

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Adam enjoys a rambly conversation with American comedian and writer Sara Barron in front of a live audience at the London Podcast Festival, September 2019.RELATED LINKSADAM BUXTON'S RAMBLE BOOK (AUDIO BOOK AT AUDIBLE) (2020)SARA BARRON LIVE AT THE APOLLO (2019, FACEBOOK)BOOKS BY SARA BARRON (SARA'S WEBSITE)EDDIE REDMAYNE IN JUPITER RISING (2015, YOUTUBE)MARK RONSON IN LADY GAGA DOCUMENTARY (2017, YOUTUBE) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening I took my microphone and found some human folk Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this. That's the plan. What are you looking at, Rose?

Rosie's gazing intently at something up the track, but I can't see what. Sniffing away. It's getting very overgrown isn't it just in the last two weeks this path that we always walk along is now almost unrecognizably jungly rosie she's looking up at the track looking up at the track and then looking back at the house as if to say, I don't really want to go with you. Oh, she's walking back to the house. She's just standing in the middle of the track, looking at me over her shoulder, and then looking back at the house. And now she's walking slowly back to the house, and now she's starting to jog.

Still looking back at me every now and again. She obviously feels a bit bad. Oh well, I'm going to go. Rosie's seven now, in human years. Not sure what that is in dog years, but maybe she's going through a kind of teenage phase or she's just past the point where hanging out with me the whole time

is the best thing that she can think of. The other thing is I think she saw my wife hanging out in the garden and probably if it's a choice between me and my wife my wife will win anyway how are you doing podcats it is a very beautiful hot bank holiday monday in late may 2020 welcome to podcast number 124 this one is the first of two i'm putting out today that were recorded in front of a live audience at the london podcast festival last year back in september 2019 a couple of weeks after boris johnson controversially suspended or prorogued parliament.

Do you remember that? Back in the old days when news was a bit more fun? I don't know. My guest on the second night and in the other podcast that I'm putting out today was poet and podcaster George Mpanga, a.k.a. George the Poet. But my guest for the first night at King's Place, a lovely venue in King's Cross where the podcast festival was taking place, was American comedian and writer Sarah Barron, described by The Guardian as brassy and sassy. Maybe it's supposed to be brassy and sassy. Or maybe brassy

and sassy. Anyway, I provide a bit more information about Sarah in my on stage introduction but it might help you later in the podcast if I tell you that before we went on stage I made the tactless error of asking Sarah if she was in her 40s we were talking about children and I said are you in your 40s and she had in fact just become 40. Bit of a faux pas. And she picked me up on it a couple of times in our conversation, as you will hear. A couple more notes that might be useful. This episode contains quite a lot of bad language.

Once or twice in the past I've had messages from people saying, why does there need to be so much bad language in your podcast? I'm sorry, I'll do my best to wash out my mouth in future, but it's too late to do anything about this one. Also, other note, right at the end of our conversation, you'll hear Sarah making a weird sound that provokes a great deal of laughter from me and the audience. And in case you struggle to work it out, it was her suddenly

shoving most of the microphone into her mouth, which in context was very funny. Okay, I played the ramble chat jingle and sang along and danced to it live on stage, as you will hear. So right now I'm just going to hand over to myself, live on stage at King's Place in September 2019. Here we go. Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here. Nice to be with you you this is very London-ish isn't it to have a sold out show and there's just seats aplenty

because the idea everyone wants to get with the exciting thing that's happening but when it comes to actually turning up for the exciting thing I don't know if I can be bothered there's too much else to do I'm exhausted from all the other turning up for the exciting thing. I don't know if I can be bothered. There's too much else to do.

I'm exhausted from all the other exciting things. I don't care. They've paid. Doesn't matter. I just feel bad for all the people who couldn't get tickets. For all the people whose lives have been ruined. I'm going to keep this short because I don't want to take the piss with my guest waiting in the wings. I'm going to introduce you very shortly.

But before I do, I have a joke that I wrote. I was pretty pleased with this when I wrote it. What is Boris Johnson's favorite podcast? The Pro- Rogan Experience. Does anyone think that is not funny and clever? No. The Pro Rogan Experience.

I mean, that's the best joke ever, isn't it? Works on every single level. All right. I'm going to bring out my guest shortly. She is a UK-based American comic. She's called Sarah Barron. Yay. And she went, let me tell you, from author to stand-up

via hosting New York's hugely popular storytelling night, The Moth. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with The Moth, and they also have a very popular podcast. Her stand-up debut, for worse, was a frank, honest account of married life and becoming a mother for the first time. She claims that living in Britain for six years has stripped away her innate American positivity. Let's get her out. But before we do so, though, let's sing Ramble Chat together. Ramble Chat, let's have a Ramble Chat. We'll focus first on this, then concentrate on that. Sorry, no. As you can hear, I still haven't figured out how to sing the Ramble Chat jingle live

and do a weird little dance at the same time and make it good. But I keep forgetting that I don't know how to do that. So to save your ears a little bit, let's have the end of the real jingle and get on with meeting Sarah. Here we go. Please welcome Sarah Barron to the stage. There she is. Hey, how are you doing, Sarah? That was such a great dance.

Thanks so much. It wasn't really, was it? No, it was. As an American, I don't understand sarcasm. Do you have a large American listenership? I don't know. I don't think so. No, I have no idea.

We were discussing beforehand, myself and Sarah, that we're not necessarily fans of listening back to live podcasts, you know? And it's just more, you know, inevitably, more of a performative encounter

than it would be if I was just... If we were just chatting. Meeting you in my nutty room. One-on-one. They gave you more than you deserved on that, but you take it. You just take that. Well, I don't know if they were happy with it or if they were going, you can't say one on one anymore

Dr. Buckles. Oh, has that phrase been cancelled? I don't know. Maybe. We were saying beforehand that we both learned about six months ago what the phrase cancelled meant. Yes. By a whoop, does anyone in here not know what getting canceled means oh you go no you go no i don't want to do it come on you're the guest they're your fans though you're the guest all right i mean i think it means that someone does something offensive yes and they're not okay anymore.

That's the key phrase. Rita Ora got cancelled. Did she? Yeah, I didn't know. Rita Ora got cancelled, but she didn't do anything. She's just not cool anymore. Whereas, like, Louis C.K. got cancelled.

But it's both getting cancelled, but one did a thing and the other's just, like, not cool. But Louis C.K. is still cancelled and Rita Ora is not not though right i thought rita i don't know i was told by a 29 year old in may that rita aura was cancelled but you can't just be cancelled for not being cool anymore you've got to do something worse than that to get cancelled i heard you've got to expose yourself okay i heard that cancelled could also I'm not saying that's right. I'm just saying what my experience was. Right. Okay. But we've never met before. And so essentially this evening, you and I are going to be sort of getting to know each other as if we're on a date. Cool. And I thought that would be a sort of fun

thing as it was a live podcast. We'd do it like that as if you and I are going out and did you ever go on blind dates? We're both married. Yeah. I was, you know, people always say that thing where they'll be like, I was just never good at dating.

Like I just like the next thing I know, I'm just like in a relationship, serial monogamists who like always have someone. And those people don't know how to be alone. And the relationships when they're in them suffer. And that's true. But anyway, I went on a lot of dates. There was a week when I was like 28 which you apparently thought was like 30 years ago which

it wasn't I love dating much more than I enjoy being married frankly like it was more I liked it like I loved being like who's this yeah person and maybe what's this what's this but I do think I'm like a good dater I think that's one of my skills in my 20s so I've got a number of sort of well they are literally questions that I'm going to ask normally I would not necessarily

compose questions for people in that way and Richard Herring believes that he's the person that invented questions on podcasts so if you have what would you do in a date scenario if you were asked a question that you had zero interest in whatsoever would you just sort of try and tackle it and then just glide over to the next topic I mean that's what a normal person would do. I regret even asking that question. So if someone asked me a boring question, what would I do?

Yeah, I don't know why I asked you that question. It's the most boring. It was bad. It was bad. Yeah, it was a bad question. But I would try and kick it back as quickly. I remember one time I was set up on a date with a guy. It was like one of the only like old fashioned blind dates I ever went on.

And he was so boring, which and this could get me canceled. But it is just how people are. It's like if I had been more attracted to him, I would have dealt with it because I would have been like, this could be sex later. So I'll get through this part for the intercourse later. But when you're just like, I don't even want to bang, then what are we doing? And I was so lost in it. And at one point I knew he was a lawyer and I was like, I just don't want to have to talk anymore. So I was like, tell me about the law. And he just told me about, I mean, for an hour, just did it. So to answer your question,

it would be bat it back as quickly as possible. Yeah, which you did. Which I did. Yeah, very good. Thanks. Now, if any of these questions are too personal or strange, then, well, you'll deal with it. Are you in therapy? Great. So I started therapy.

I have a really good mind for dates. I'm clearly American, and also I lived in New York for 15 years. So it'd be strange if I wasn't in therapy. So I started therapy on May 1st of 2002, which I remember because my second is my birthday. And I remember, you know, and a therapist will say often the first question is like, what brought you here? And I remember like starting to cry and be like, because I would have been 22 or 23. And I was like, I feel so alone. So that's how it started in 2002. And I was in therapy off and on, but mostly on for like up until a couple years ago.

Same therapist, Lisa Pollenberg. And she's very good, one Ellen Pollenberg. I'm really being set up to confirm all American stereotypes, but I'll just lean into that. I think that good therapy is like going to the gym. It's like you don't stop therapy because you can't solve your problems. It's like you show up every week to make sure that you're acknowledging that your life is awful. And then I started doing phone sessions when I moved here,

and then our money situation changed and I stopped seeing her. Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought that you were just cured. No, no changed and I stopped seeing her. Oh, okay. I thought that you were just cured. No, no, no, no, no. No, if anything, like then I, it was around the time my son was one, so I could really use some assistance right now. And actually, I'm going back to New York in a week and I'm thinking I should see her for a

live sesh and use that as an impetus to see if she will reincorporate the sliding scale fee that she used to offer me in my 20s. Right. And when I said the thing about being cured, that was a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I knew. Sorry, did you want a bigger laugh or what did you? No. Okay. I just want to make it clear that I do appreciate the fact that as you say, you know, it's like going to the gym. I think the idea of going to therapy is very appealing, even though it's never been part of my life so far, but I've been thinking about it. Have you never been? No. But now increasingly,

I feel as if it's like saying you've never done any exercise. You know what I mean? Because I think it is sort of irresponsible in a way not to have some, you know, commitment to maintaining your mental health in that way and investing in the idea that someone outside of your friendship circle might have something valuable to contribute yeah the thing that gets my back up is also it's like i think therapy can be as masturbatory and stupid as you think from like a shitty therapist yeah but also like when people do that thing when they're like you know what like exercise is my therapy yeah i'm like exercise is your antidepressant if you're lucky do you know what i mean like it's not like helping you understand why you're a douchebag or why you're impossible in an argument or why you think you're capable of an apology or

self-examination when you're not actually also my relationship with physical exercise is that i do it so that i can eat more cakes. And I think that's probably what would happen with therapy. I'd go in there and I'd think, I've got a load of asshole points now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Feed your face. Yeah, I'd be able just to explain to people why I'm being a dick,

rather than just being a dick. Do you know what I mean? Like, when you go to therapy as well as a comedian do you ever feel as if you should ask their permission because you're going to incorporate so there's some comedians we won't mention any names but you think fucking hell i hope the therapist is getting a cut because they incorporate pretty much all the stuff from their sessions into their act you know it's a load of self-examination very funny if it's done well but you know what i mean like are you thinking while you're at therapy

all the time oh yeah this would be good uh well so i haven't been in therapy now for like three years right but i i think that that my problem is i really want which is why i find these sorts of conversations in this situation so difficult is that that you're just like, I want to be the favorite. Let me be the favorite. Let me be the smartest one that you've seen today. I mean, you are the best guest. No, I'm not. Tonight.

I want to be. I'm the only one tonight. So the need to be liked. God, you need some therapy i know what do you hate about yourself see we're doing therapy i'm gonna be your therapist yeah what do i hate about myself i think yes i have a real narcissism to me that's probably not so great like a dark narcissism narciss me that's probably not so great. Like a dark narcissism. Dark narcissism.

Yeah. That's my favorite fragrance. A dark narcissism. But don't most people? Yeah. But I'm more aware of mine because of my therapy. And where does that come from, Sarah? Where does my dark narcissism come from?

Yes, where does it come from? I'm your therapist. That's why I have this voice. That's what all therapists sound like. I am doing a silly voice to ask you a serious question. I know. You're really putting me in a tough position. In front of an audience.

Right. You're making it hard for me. Yes. That's what therapy is about. It is sometimes hard. Where does it come from how am I supposed to answer that now we can come back to it can you do any impressions

I genuinely love impressions can you do some of yours I do an impression of David Bowie. So I do a bit of David. Yeah. Even though it's a very specific part of David's career. He didn't always sound like that.

Sometimes he sounded quite different. It's also sort of like the Flight of the Conchords guys doing David Bowie. Yeah. I was doing it before them. Okay, okay. That was interesting. I think that came across as me digging at you, which it before then. Okay, okay. That was interesting. I think that came across as me digging at you, which it wasn't.

Always in space, they do. They do that. And I don't do that. No. No. You're hitting it with a straighter bat. Yes. Yeah.

I was trying to learn how to do Mark Ronson from watching a Lady Gaga documentary. Should we learn how to do Mark Ronson from watching a Lady Gaga documentary. Shall we learn how to do Mark Ronson? Yes. I think what you do is you do posh, tired, pissed, and American. Tired. So first of all, you start off with posh English, right? So you start off like that.

Yeah. All right. I'm Mark Ronson. Yeah, great. And then you're tired. I know. I'm so tired. Yeah.

It's been, gosh, it's been such a long day in the studio. Yeah. And then you're a bit pissed. Oh, God. I was in the studio. In the studio, we had so much to drink. And then you're American. Yeah, I was in the studio.

It was really hot in the studio, so we just drank loads of beers and stuff. It's really good. That's Mark Ronson. Yeah, that was great. And that's quite similar to Eddie Redmayne. Do you seek these out or they come to you and you just notice they have a gift?

No, it's like when you're watching... Have you ever seen... Is it called Jupiter Ascending? No, I haven't. It's quite the thing. You should see that. Okay. He does this sort of voice.

He plays a bad... He's the baddie in it. And he's like the baddest guy in the whole universe. And he's made a decision to do this posh, raspy British whisper. Good. He says, I just talk like this the whole time.

He's going to destroy the whole universe. He's going to do it by just talking in a really weird way. And then every now and again, get very angry. That could get you cancelled. That could. Have you got any impressions? I do.

It's too narrow to be funny. I think I do a really good impression of my mother. Go on. I'd be up for hearing that. All right. It's like, so my mother is annoying

and she's always getting choked up and always surprised that it's happening and wanting attention for it happening. So whenever the whole family gets together, it's like my brother's there with his wife and their children and my husband and I are back in the States with our kid and everyone's gathered, you know, and this is all the parents want is just to have the whole family together. And my, you know, we're not religious, but my mother will say, we don't pray in our family, but we will take a moment to be so I didn't know I'd get emotional. I, um, and we look like a bunch of assholes because we're like, okay, mom, when she thinks she's emoting. So if someone were to be visiting us, and we look like a bunch of assholes because we're like okay mom

when she thinks she's emoting so if someone were to be visiting us we would all look like a pack of cunts but actually the woman's bid for attentions are ceaseless and therefore grating I don't know but my impression of her is

excellent apparently if there's anyone famous I can do that was good though I feel as if I know your mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She visited us when I just did that.

Did she cry at adverts and things like that? No, because that's actually authentic. It's not an authentic thing she's doing. Okay? I do a great impression

of my best friend who's very hostile but she's fucking better than you and like if you're into that you're just dumb. Like that's a good that's my friend Maggie.

Like I can sometimes get Paloma Faith but she's not in me right now so I don't think I can do it yes oh don't let me get oh don't wait I've got I've got a get it I like it when Americans do yeah I know yeah but you know what fuck you because also English people doing American is just as good but no one is here to laugh at that. But we would if we were here. And I'm pretty good at some lines from Pretty Woman. Oh, what? Which lines? Oh, shit. Put you on the spot. First of all, I'm going to really perform this.

So it's going to be subtle, but I think it's actually kind of nice. I'm doing a nice smile for the listeners. I'm doing like a nice warm smile right now. If I forget to tell you later, I had a really nice time tonight. It's more squeaky than she is, though. You know what, Adam?

Sorry, that's not... Sorry. That's a cancelled film, isn't it? I mean, it must be, surely. Yeah, that film has aged not great. Even at the time, though, I remember thinking, I don't think that that's what it really would be like to be...

I mean, you know... But that's so intelligent of you. Sex positivity, yes. Respect for sex workers, absolutely. Of course. But I just thought, I don't know how realistic this is. You were ahead of your time. I was. I was just like like the shopping looks fun

but it is one of those films when it comes on tv you generally watch it oh yeah but i always forget that jason alexander is such a bright pre george bad guy yeah showing his range george what are you doing? You're so bad Unpleasant Also I think it's a bit offensive for a person like me that is a short man Because to me it very much seems to be saying this is what short men are like

I used to teach writing classes and I had this guy who was like he was a smaller man and he wanted to like write stuff about the fact, like how much people projected a Napoleon complex onto him that wasn't there. I think most Napoleon complexes probably are there. Do you think you have one? Yes.

Can you think of like when it has manifested in the most obvious way? Well, I mean, in a sort of benign way, it's very obvious when you see me with my wife and my friends who all tower above me. So it's a sort of inverted complex, I suppose. I'm attracted to people generally who are taller than myself. Both romantically and just platonically? Yes.

Okay. Although it's always a bit romantic, isn't it? who are taller than myself. Both romantically and just platonically? Yes. Oh, okay. Although it's always a bit romantic, isn't it? When you said your wife and your... Oh, are we back in a date? I don't know. I was thinking recently about how I am romantic about my male friends as well as my...

Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. Is it? I don't know if they feel that way sometimes i mean like i was always my friendships when i was at school i always thought about them in a sort of romantic way and felt sad and upset when they weren't sufficiently friendly with me i mean i don't mean like i was sad that they weren't reaching into my trousers or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's always,

but I'm over sensitive. Right, right, right, right. Your feelings get hurt very easily. Yeah. Do you think that makes you exhausting to be around? Yes. Yeah.

The reason that I ask is my husband is so sensitive and he's fucking exhausting. Yeah. Because he gets, but that's part of, you know, what makes him wonderful.

But it is also why he's a fucking project and a half, you know? exactly. Have you, have you, Sarah,

ever picked up a twitch or a tick or a vocal mannerism from someone else? Well, Jonathan Van Ness, ness genuinely that's been happening explain who jonathan van oh so jonathan van ness is one of the queer eye team he's the

one who does hair yeah i find him so i love him and tan and the other three can do one i want him and tan all day every day have you guys seen the one has anyone ever seen the one where they go back to jonathan's hometown and he cuts off the mullet, right? And when he does that thing where he's like, you can do this moment, you can do this moment, you're doing this moment, you're giving this moment. I rewound that five times. I loved it so much. So I watched a lot of Queer Eye. I binged it and I was talking like him. And I didn't know that except that I was up at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and a few of my friends were like, you are starting to talk like him when you do stand-up. So I'd watch that.

So that was a thing where I realized it was affecting my pace when I was talking, if I was nervous, to just get a little momentum going. If I could feel that the audience was lackadaisical, I would just serve Jonathan all day, all night. So that's an impression that I can do! Hey, that's a good impression. Thank you.

It's an impression that I can do. Hey, that's a good impression. How about facial tics? Oh, here's my tic. My tic is, it's not a facial tic, a thing that I do, which I didn't know until my judgmental friend Maggie pointed it out to me. Fucking Maggie. Fucking Maggie. So mean to me, but I like dominating women or however you like people who clearly kind

of push you away because that is somehow safe for you. That's what your therapist will eventually tell you. Jesus. That you need that something in you needs someone to do this because that makes you somehow feel safe even though consciously it makes you feel vulnerable. Okay, so basically

that's real. Write it down. Okay, so I can't hold the mic and do my tick. Do you want me to hold it? Oh, great. Okay. I stroke the crick of my right arm. And Maggie, whenever, because now we don't live in the same city, so when I see her now once a year, she's like,

all right, that arm thing is still going strong. The crick stroker. Yeah. So that's some kind of. Always with the same hand stroking. Always left arm stroking right arm. Right crick. Wow, that's a new one.

I've never encountered that. Do you hear a lot of... When you ask that question of people, do a lot of people say the same thing? This is especially for you. This is the first time I've asked about the tics. As far as I'm aware, podcats, do I normally ask that?

No. Do you feel very powerful when you do these things live? Like with all those people being like, tell me about me. And they're like, you don't, Adam. Are you like, I'm a king. That must feel like if you're a musician and you play some arena and people sing your lyrics back to you.

I've always been like, that must be wild. That must have made you feel powerful. Yes. But I didn't do the thing that Robbie Williams does of just not singing because they're singing. You know what I mean? No, no, no. I don't like that when they go out there

and the audience starts singing and then the fucking people stop singing. Like, no, you sing the song. It's better when you sing the song. It's. Like, no, you sing the song. It's better when you sing the song. It's fun to sing along with you singing the song. Don't you just go and have a fag while everyone's through it.

Anyway, but no, it's very nice, but it's an unusual situation as a live thing because it's like, unless there's anyone who's really feeding their hatred of me by coming along to a live i mean there might be i don't know but generally i feel as if this is a friendly crowd so it's nice and relaxing yeah and yes it does make me feel very powerful okay um i pick up vocal you know sort of conversational mannerisms

from people i'm especially attracted i think to northerners i like the way that they speak northern english people like i did a documentary with the league of gentlemen do you know them so when they were doing their third series i spent a lot of time hanging around with them and i definitely enjoyed the cadence and the patterns of their the way that they talk and thenceforth used the phrase have you not rather than saying haven't you i'd say have you not have you not i wouldn't say it with the accent but that's how they would say right right right oh have you not yeah so i say have you not and i also like mark riley the the DJ who used to be in The Fall,

and him and Rob Hughes do this podcast about David Bowie called The 80s Ed of David Bowie. And they both use the conversational mannerism, right, okay. That was really, that was quite good. Was that quite good? Yeah. So, you know, they'll be talking and you say something, Sarah.

Oh, so then the other day, I did wind up going to that store. Right, okay. That's very good. Yeah. And it just feels so nice to say. I guess because I like them and I like listening to them. It's the better accent, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Right, okay, yeah. Yes. Yes, please. Yep. Yes. Did you ever have, in the States, did you have, well, here we had this show called Grumpy Old Men, and then there was a version called Grumpy Old Women,

back when the sexes had to be strictly separated. Yeah. And did you have that kind of thing? Just people of a certain age, i.e. middle age and above, just complaining about things? We didn't have that. Did you not? No.

I like to yes and you in these moments as much as possible, but no, We didn't have that. Did you not? No, I like to yes and you in these moments as much as possible, but no, we didn't have those. Do you like that kind of show, though? Are you that sort of person? Now that you've entered your 40s, you're at the very early stages of them, right at the beginning of them, in fact, and you don't look it.

Is this good? I said to my husband today, as I was getting ready to come out I said to my husband I saw my some photo of myself yesterday and I was like I feel sad why do I feel sad I feel sad today and I was like I think it's because I saw these photos and I just look my age in my head I look younger but I look my age and he's like listen I think no you're not making anyone think you're in your 20s but I think definitely a woman in her 30s and then I meet this guy tonight is like so you're in your 40s yes and it just you're like making anyone think you're in your 20s. But I think definitely a woman in her 30s. And then I meet this guy tonight, and he's like, so you're in your 40s, yes?

And it just, you're like, oh, that shit's real. And thank you, and I needed to know. So the thing is, do I like shows about grumpy people? Are you a grumpy old woman? I think that with everyone other than my parents and my husband, I seem not grumpy. Are you on social media? Yes, but not as much as other comedians.

Do you tweet angry things and complain? Oh, I would never. Right. Never. So you've never tweeted something like ugh these people walking slowly in the street I hate them

no people don't need to hear what you're thinking that's my approach with Twitter some funny version thereof no I would never

I would never do a grumpy tweet I unfollowed I mean this is the thing it's a bit I ask if you're grumpy because you know everyone gets wound up

by certain things right I am grumpy but not publicly right okay I think we're using the word grumpy because, you know, everyone gets wound up by certain things, right? I am grumpy, but not publicly. Right. Okay. I think we're using the word grumpy to mean different things. I just realized that. Because, yes, I am grumpy. I hate everything.

I like talking about why everything is terrible. Right. Okay. But, like, so when I showed up, it was like, I want Adam to like me. Be nice. I would never be like, what's up? Which is actually what I think of as grumpy but is not what you mean and actually not what grumpy means.

Got you. Right. So how would you feel then about people watching videos on their phones without headphones? Right. There's no one normal who thinks... Careful. Yeah.

Careful. Yeah. I caught myself. Did you see me catch myself? Yes. Good catch. Thanks. Now, carry on carefully. I don't think it's okay in any circumstance.

I think it's one of the things that indicates that you don't understand that you share the world. Yeah, what is it? Is it that you don't understand that you share the world

or is it that you do understand but you don't give a fuck? The other day, I unfollowed someone on Twitter, someone who I like. I don't unfollow people very often. I usually just mute them because I'm so cowardly. But this guy is like, man, I'm unfollowing you for that.

What pushed you over the edge? Well, it was a tweet that most of you will probably think is terrific and will agree with. And some part of me agrees with it as well. But it was something like, hey, you people standing right next to the baggage carousel, please kill yourselves. See, the audience is a little nervous there because most of them are thinking,

I agree and I think that's funny. Is that fair? Yeah. How do you feel about those people standing next to the baggage carousel? Well, this is what I think. I agree with the point, but I think expressing it on Twitter is deranged.

Right, okay. That's what I think. I think that thing of, I'm feeling a thing, okay, cool, feel the thing, I agree with you, I actually feel the same thing. I am now going to go online to express it publicly in a way that will do nothing. Yes.

It's weird. Well, presumably some part of them thinks this will do something because it will shame people into behaving better somehow. I don't think that it will. I don't think so either. I think it's just people feel like, I have a thing, it has to come out.

Now there's a place it can go. Yeah. Exactly. Also, the thing that made me unfollow them was not the sentiment about the people next to the carousel. I can see that is irritating and selfish behavior in some way, even though I do it. We'll talk about that in a second. But it was the please kill yourself thing. Well, it's also, it's not nice writing.

it was the please kill yourself thing. Well, it's also, it's not nice writing. It's like, if there's some nicely written thing that is a nice joke or just people who do this, kill yourselves. I agree that it's annoying behavior, but it's not a good expression of the idea. No, it's just sort of a boring hangover from. Yeah, it's like when people do like,

that moment when, dot, dot, dot, gross. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like this lazy as shit way of expressing yourself that makes me go, don't express yourself, keep it inside. Exactly. Yeah. See, I'm grumpy. Yes.

Okay. Talking about the standing close to the baggage carousel thing, I looked at some comments from a thread on Flyer Talk Forum. Flyer Talk. Yes, where people who fly go to talk. Talk. I do find it a bit weird how people have to stand so close to the baggage conveyor belt when you're waiting for a suitcase. Once your suitcase comes along, you basically have to fight your way through the wall of people that are lined up.

What is wrong with waiting a couple of meters further back? To which another person replies, I was always a proponent of standing back. Unfortunately, if you stand back so much as 18 inches, someone will squeeze in directly in front of you and negate whatever benefit you are trying to achieve. Now I stand 24 inches back, but I have to place my laptop bag on the ground right in front of me to keep people from just standing there. I dream.

I dream that someday. This is like an early draft of Martin Luther King's. I have a dream speech. I dream that someday there will be lines drawn 24 inches out from the carousel indicating that

people should stand back so people could ignore them. That was so much better than that tweet. I think, you know, because I like it. Well, it's just a bit, you're getting a bit more of a nuanced perspective. Let's just, you know, talk to each other.

Here's another point of view though, Sarah. And this is someone arguing from the other side, because I confess. Yeah, I think I'm guilty of what these, but they're right. But I go close to the carousel. Yep. Anyway, so here's someone like me.

This is someone called Till. I don't know what the other people's names were, but this is Till from Berlin. So I'm going to do a very accurate impression. I admit, I position myself as close as possible to where the luggage comes out. I don't want it to go for another round.

Because I usually cannot see what happens to it on the other side. I don't want anybody to even accidentally take off with it I never hustle I never push anybody and when I see my bag coming I will warn those around me that I need a little room to lug the monster off the belt.

I am usually quite good at making it a minimal intervention. In some cases, really, people have not heeded my warning. The bag did bump into them. But I never hurt anybody seriously.

That's from Till. That's a very nice, balanced perspective. It's not just like kill yourself. No, and I like that everyone on those message boards seem to have really thought through. I respect how thoughtful their answers were. A plea for tenderness and understanding.

Yeah. Now we are coming towards the end of our conversation. Great. Can I ask you a couple more questions? Please. All right. Do you smell nice? I mean, do you care about fragrances and things like that?

Yes. What's your go-to fragrance? After I gave birth, I stopped wearing perfume, and then I never went back. I think that I smell nice. Yeah. Basically, here's what I'm trying to not say, and I don't think anyone's going to like this. Basically, I, like, naturally smell very nice throughout my whole body. Yes.

Except for... Oops. I have lethal farts. Oh. But an incredible pussy. Yes. So that's what I think, like, you know, I would never say a sentence like, God gave me,

but I feel that's been, like, my karmic balance, is these heinous farts but like what a puss are you the farts loud when i want them to be um let's end this encounter on an uplifting note of positivity okay what always lifts your spirits sarah that's kind of my Oprah question. Think about the... Bad things happening to people I hate. Genuinely, if something not great happens to someone who's annoying to me, somehow I'm like... Schadenfreude. Yeah, schadenfreude.

Or, you know, my kid doing like a cute thing, like his new thing right now. He's three and a half and his new thing is like... This is not funny. Kids are so stupid, I know. But, like, his new thing is everything happens on Saturday. Yeah. So it'll be like, oh, have an ice cream today. And I'll be like, I don't know if we're going to have an ice cream today.

But, you know, that can be something, you know, I'll be like, maybe on Saturday. Or I'll be like, Paw Patrol today. And I'll be like, you know what? We watched one already. He's like, maybe on Saturday. So that's just like every time now it goes maybe on Saturday. Really? Maybe on Saturday. It's party day.

Party day. Maybe on Saturday. Saturday, well, Friday night, Saturday night, that's party night at our house. Oh, yes, yes, yes. For me and my wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have party night? No, because I mostly work nights, so our party night will just be the nights that I'm in

and we'll try and make something and you know. That's party night. Party night. Ladies and gentlemen, Sarah Barron. Wait. This is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success.

Yes, success. The way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes. It looks very professional. I love browsing your videos and pics, and I don't want to stop. And I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop. These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, use the offer

code Buxton to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So put the smile of success on your face with Squarespace. Yes. Continue. Right, okay. Hey, welcome back, podcats. Sarah Barron there, live at the London Podcast Festival back in September 2019 at the King's Place venue in King's Cross.

And I'm very grateful to Sarah for coming along and putting up with my stupid bullshit and rambling with me on stage. And I'm also grateful to everyone who made us feel so welcome at the podcast festival, especially Zoe Jays and Sally Hollingworth. Not really going to waffle much at the end of this episode because I'm going to go and sort out the other live episode from the podcast festival last year with George the poet we had a great conversation he's a fascinating guy and a brilliant talker so do check that one out thank you very much indeed to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for his production support and Matt Lamont for his additional editing on this episode. I hope you're doing okay out there and keeping it together in body and mind.

Until next time, we share the same outer space. Take care. I love you. Bye! Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Please like and subscribe. Please like and subscribe. Give me like a smile and a thumbs up. Nice like a pat with a thumbs up. Give me like a smile and a thumbs up.

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