THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.138 - MILES JUPP

Episode Date: November 4, 2020

Adam enjoys a rambling conversation with British actor, comedian, and writer Miles Jupp.This conversation was recorded in London back in September 2017 but fell victim to technical problems and bad organisation, hence the THREE YEAR delay.Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support and to Anneka Myson and Jack Bushell for additional editing.Podcast artwork by Helen Green https://helengreenillustration.com/RELATED LINKSMILES JUPP WEBSITE ALL THE TIMES MILES JUPP COMPLETELY LOSES IT AND LAUGHS ON 8 OUT OF 10 CATS DOES COUNTDOWN (YOUTUBE)THE ADAM AND JOE SHOW ON WOW PRESENTS PLUS (SIGN UP TO STREAM ALL 4 SERIES) NEW ADAM BUXTON WEBSITEADAM BUXTON'S RAMBLE BOOK (HARDBACK) (WATERSTONES)ADAM BUXTON'S RAMBLE BOOK (AUDIOBOOK) (2020, AUDIBLE) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rosie, should we go for a walk? Where are you going? Don't go in Mum's room. Let's go for a walk, Dopey. It's nice out there. Let's go and we're going to call Miles Jupp. Rosie? She's just wandering over to the... Oh, she's just climbed onto the comfy chair. What's the deal? Come on, Rosie. Let's go.

Walking. Miles Jupp. Come on. Ah. Well, I'm going. You don't want to go? Right. Nope. Last chance. Lovely day. Walk. Miles Jupp.

Alright. I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin. Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening. I took my microphone and found some human folk. Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke. My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man. I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan. Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here.

Reporting to you, minus Rosie, the dog, who, it turns out, went on a run with my wife this morning and has evidently decided that's enough outdoor time for her. As for me, I'm reporting to you from the usual Norfolk farm track at the beginning of November 2020. at the beginning of November 2020. The American presidential election took place yesterday as I speak and so far no clear winner has emerged. Donald Trump is calling fraud. Here in the UK a second national lockdown begins tomorrow. So in the spirit of trying to provide some distraction from all of that, and whatever else you might enjoy a bit of distraction from, I am going to try and put

out a few more podcast episodes than I normally would. I've said this in the past and then failed to do that because I end up just running out of time, but I'm going to do my best. Anyway, in order to do that, I've been looking back through all my old hard drives and checking on various conversations that I've recorded which have remained unedited and unbroadcast. if you're a regular podcast you'll know that I sometimes put out episodes quite a long time after I record them and it's kind of a random thing it's usually not because it wasn't a good episode it's usually something else or just bad organization that's what it usually comes down to I don't know I'm talking in this voice that's my bad organization voice anyway today we are listening to one such conversation

with British actor, comedian, television presenter, writer, Miles Jupp. And I thought it would be a good idea just to give Miles a courtesy call just to say, well, look, we're putting the episode out and sorry it took a while, but I'm going to go indoors and do this call because it's a bit too David Blowy out here. So let's go and call Miles. Hello. Hello. Is that Miles? Hi. Yes. How's it going? Good, man. I'm recording now, so try and keep all the really offensive stuff to a minimum. I will, gosh, okay, yeah, I'll keep a lid on it. It's very, I'm outside, it's very rainy and windy.

Can you hear that? No, it sounds okay, actually. I had to come indoors because it's very windy out here. It was a bit too blowy. Well, you've got no hills or anything, have you? No, we've got a few hills around here. That's very hillist of you to say. Anglist. Angliest or something.

Yeah, immediately assume everything's flat just because we're in Norfolk. We got some great hills, Miles, but where are you? I mean, I've just climbed a hill called the Kimmin, which is in Monmouthshire, where I live. We've just stopped and put our warm jumpers on. Because it's pretty foul up here. It's good for the soul. You'll get back and you'll feel all virtuous.

You can have a nice cup of tea or whiskey or whatever it is and then get on with the rest of your day. And incrementally, we're improving the quality of our buttock muscles. That's not part of the dream. I don't know what the point is in playing the game, really. You're living your best life. I'm living A-life. Yeah, it's just it's the day after half term.

If you had half term, so suddenly we're alone in the house. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to stick my neck out and I'm going to say, I hate half term. it's a load of shit yeah it goes on for two weeks now well ours yeah ours was 10 days i think there's an insect there but i don't know i didn't mind it i had one day of work i did a day's filming and something and i did it have i got used to you so in the middle of the week i had a little a little sort of break but i i enjoyed it actually yeah i'm just watched a lot of films i'm being cynical i i we had a couple of great days we went to go ape and climbed around in the

trees and it was actually when everyone's when everyone's tall enough to go ape then it's that's an expensive but brilliant day isn't't it? Yeah, exactly. It was wonderful. Anyway, listen, man, I wanted to call you personally because I'm embarrassed that the conversation we recorded has taken so long to surface. I think it might be a record. We spoke in 2017 in September. Yeah, well, I think, I mean, I think that's reasonable, particularly you've put out all the more interesting ones. And this is just slowly, I'm not, I think, I mean, I think that's reasonable. Presumably you've put out all the more interesting ones.

And this is just slowly, I'm not, you know, I don't want to use words like barrel and scraping or whatever, but presumably, I mean, we had that chat because I think genuinely, I think what happened is my agent, Molly, is such an enormous fan of your podcast and she was incensed that I hadn't been on it. So I think your hand was forced. I think she went all hot shot and, you know, used all her leverage and just made it happen.

And you just had to succumb to the kind of fury and the anger. And so that's why it happened. But then once you've done it, you probably thought, what would I do that for? I've got all these interesting ones. Not at all. It was very nice to listen back to it. I think part of the reason all it was very nice to listen back to it i think part of

the reason that it took a while to edit was that there were some technical problems and half of it didn't actually record the rest of it i recorded at way too low a level i either talk extremely quietly or laugh very loudly yeah i'm a level issue it's very hard to set your dials for that sort of binary behaviour. I do remember I'd been watching a cricket match that day and I think Theresa May had come and sat on the bench near where I was sitting. That's right. I think this would have been when she was Prime Minister, is that? Yes.

I don't pay the same level of attention to the news as I used to. But she, and I remember being slightly paranoid because at the time I was hosting the news business, so she would be one of many people about whom one was unthinkingly rude just to sort of get a job done, I suppose. Yes, we talked about Theresa May and being rude to politicians.

We talked about your pop... We definitely talked about Guy Ritchie. Yeah, we talked about Guy Ritchie and guy richie yeah we talked about guy richie and the fact that you had been in sherlock holmes or at least you filmed a scene for his version of try to be in it yeah yeah yeah i've spent more time talking about this experience than living it i suppose that's the same with people that have won world cups and stuff isn't it but um i yeah that's right there was a sort of unsuccessful day although at the time i was very grateful for the day to be perfectly honest sure and you were also in the process of

writing a novel oh well that's well i've now submitted that that's goodness me it's so late it's definitely meant to be handed in over two christmases ago and we're nearly another christmas i suppose they sort of took it off the slate because I wasn't moving very fast but lockdown I ran out of excuses so I have now submitted that novel yeah it's about a kind of um disillusioned teacher yeah in the late 90s speaking of the 90s we also exchanged stories about encounters with our 90s musical heroes it seems that I can't i can't not only can i not remember the recording i can't remember my actual life which is the one one of those should have left some sort of traces shouldn't it yeah anyway we won't set up the conversation

too much more it's very enjoyable easygoing chat all right man listen i'm gonna let you go but thank you very much very nice to speak to you adam i'm a big admirer of your of your podcast wider oopra see you again soon yeah i hope stay in touch bye bye see you bye there we are that was miles jupp talking to me from a hill in monmouthshire and now we're going to listen to our conversation recorded in september 2017 so this has ended up being an unusually long and elaborate setup for, you know, just another rambly conversation. But I enjoyed listening back to it and I hope you do too. Here we go with Miles Jupp. We'll be right back. oh mate what have you got dried mango it's a bit like eating skin though isn't it yeah mangoey skin sweet skin that's what i like about it sweet sweet mango taste i can take a leave the skin of someone who's been

moisturizing with mango yeah and i put out some cashews and raisins for you yeah this is very what do you think have you been sent instructions that i wow and i've got hobnobs as well continually well i actually i avoid certain foods these days but um i'm gonna you'll see me picking the raisins out i'm not touching the cashews what's wrong with cashews are you not intolerant no i had a food intolerance test you may think sounds very wanky and cashews were a kind of hazelnuts where i do not have what's wrong with the hazelnuts well they just make me a bit sluggish what i do is i don't do anything and i carry on but i just worry more

okay because i've been burned so many times by adapting a new lifestyle well by worrying about eggs for me it always comes back to the the time when i thought oh, I love eggs, but now I can't have eggs. Because if you have more than two eggs a week, you're going to just drop dead with a massive coronary. No, no, no. Nothing to do with egg diseases. Because you're about 10 years younger than I am, I think. I'm 38. So you don't remember that period where they just said, eggs will send your cholesterol right through the roof? No, no, no.

Yeah. But I do remember earlier, I do remember lots of Edwina Curry saying... Go to work on an egg. The whole food chain. That was... Who was that? Salman Rushdie. Is that his work?

Yeah. I thought it was Faye... Oh, you're right. Faye Weldon. You're right. Faye Weldon. I think Salman Rushdie might have... Did he work for Maxwell House or something like that?

He coined some famous... One of my brother's best friends, his mum, she had coined the phrase, is your house a Maxwell House? I must have had a Friday picture on my wall. Are you emailing? No, I'm looking up the line that Salman Rushdie did. How are you with Googling things to solve a...

Do you generally resist Googling something? No, no, I do it all the time. Jeremy Hardy came to stay at my house this week. He was doing a gig near me, and we were talking about something, a play he'd been to see, and I thought, you know, I'd asked him a question he couldn't remember, and so I went to Google it.

He's like, sorry, am I interrupting you? Is there something you, and I was like, oh, we're talking about a play, and I want to find out who's in it. And he was like, oh, right. And it happened sort of talking about a play and I want to find out who's in it. And he was like, oh, right. And it happened sort of two or three times. He was like, he's clearly obviously someone that doesn't do that. So, yeah, it does seem really rude or whatever.

But I think if it's a conversation, I think you have to assume that the person is Googling to support the conversation. Yeah. The forward movement of the conversation. Because if they weren't, that would be so crazily rude. just start doing something yeah to just start sending an email but that's probably you're holding a hand in an email arise or whatever and it could be something that you've been waiting for for weeks or whatever it's hard to judge it isn't it excuse me i have to take this

yeah nice phrase i'm so sorry i have to take this i'm this looks like a very exciting email so i'm just going to stop talking to you yeah Yeah, and it could be good news. So when I come back, I may actually be in much better company. So why don't you take that risk? Of course, on the other hand, it could be crushing news. Yeah. Good news. I've got a great new job.

It looks as if the early stages of phasing you out of my life may have finally arrived. We are moving west. It all finally happened. And I've been invited to salman rushdie's party how once he pops up as a recurring character for you doesn't he rushdie in in and out yeah him yentob people i found what salman rushdie wrote fresh cream cakes naughty but nice that's rushdie wow yes naughty but nice you've come up with naughty but nice that's rush d wow yes naughty but nice you can't come up with naughty but nice as a yes he did he came up with the actual wording naughty but nice i think i mean

that's the implication spliced it onto a spliced on to think about cream cake do you think you think it's a sort of pre-existing phrase that he applied to the cakes uh it might have been or maybe at his work is there is there a sort of another layer of google where you another layer where you can say this isn't enough just can you google the words more detail uh after these questions yeah did salman rushdie really come up coin the phrase Naughty but nice. Really coin the phrase, that's right. Come up with. Coin the phrase.

Or what about this? Who coined the phrase Naughty but nice? Oh, that's a good idea. Take Rushdie out of it completely. And just see if it comes back to him. Yeah. A little known advertising copywriter by the name of S. Rushdie.

He might come up with. Does a fatwa have a time limit to it? Does it expire? That's a good question. Or do you just relax after a while? Because there was a time, and I bought his book about it. Is it called Joseph Anton? And I've not read it.

It's still sort of sitting there. He just sort of stopped being in hiding, didn't he? Yeah, that's a good point. Is there a kind of, does the security services say, they've gone now, they're annoyed about other stuff? Well, it's a bit like... They've kind of broken up themselves as a group, really. They're all doing, they're all pursuing solo projects.

They're under new management. Trust me, it's a very exciting time for those guys, but at the same time, they can only focus so much effort. Yeah. Everyone was really up for the fatwa very excited about it everyone's totally behind it but um we've got a new regional manager um ian who's just come in and he's just reassessed our strengths really it's not it's not something you should blame yourself for you're still highly offensive everyone's still absolutely furious don't get

me wrong yeah and personally and i'm not even of that faith it should be pulped but you you know it's you can't blame yourself for the breakdown of these guys there's so much else going on you know we've got the internet to worry about now which we didn't have when the satanic verses came out and it's hotter everywhere all the time that puts a lot of pressure on us all best bite we can't get much done in the afternoons there's such a lot to google okay here we go look don't yeah i think what can we google could be a could that could be a sort of podcast in its own right it probably is already this was the decade of heineken's refreshes the parts that other beers cannot reach martinis anytime any place anywhere and naughty but nice the slogan for cream cakes coined by author salman rushdie okay very good i

think that's according to the bbc were the other ones were they all were they all written by sort of future aspiring novelists I mean Faye Weldon did Donna Tartt write Once You Pop You Just Can't Stop is it that sort of

just keep digging you'll be amazed who's in there Martin Amis you don't get quicker than a quick fit incredible incredible

what these people have been up to Margaret Atwood they're great oh Margaret that's a bit of a sloppy one that's a bit of a sloppy one It's incredible, incredible what these people have been up to. Margaret Atwood. They're great. Oh, Margaret, that's a bit of a sloppy one. That's a bit of a sloppy one. I can't think of any slogans now.

Yeah. More than meets the eye. That was the Transformers slogan. What are some good recent ones? Well, I was talking to someone about this recently, and they were saying it was just you know an advertising company's come up with a slogan but the slogan is then attached to a rhythm that the very first person that's done the voiceover has done yeah so they've said well tesco every little helps that's the slogan but an actor somewhere has gone tesco every little

helps or whatever and that's that's as much much the rhythm is as much as part of the slogan as the wording itself but then if someone else then goes and does a Tesco advert they're sort of copying that person's original but you can't trademark rhythms can you? You can't but you should be able to

I think I've spoken about this before Oh that's one of ours, I mean you can't get deep Sorry that was my that was an alert there from spoken about this before. Three, four. Oh, that's one of ours. I mean, you can't get deep. Sorry, that was my there was an alert there from Google saying I've Googled how long fatwa lasts.

I heard what you were saying. I mean, that's the way it's going to go, isn't it? Give it a couple of years. I was listening to your conversation. You wanted to know how long a fatwa lasts. I have looked it up. What are you planning? How offensive are you planning on being? You seem sad.

You are forgetting a lot of things. How are you doing? What have you been up to today? I've been at the cricket. Oh yeah? Do you love cricket? Hmm. I used to really love it and now, I don't know if it's just age or whatever, I don't get, I don't mind. Do you know what I mean? I used to mind. I used to like hate it's just age or whatever, I don't mind.

Do you know what I mean? I used to mind. I used to hate England losing and stuff, and now I think that's fine. And I would know when they were playing. I don't really know when they're playing. But I just got invited to a thing at the Oval. I didn't realise it would be quite smart.

But it was in the committee room in the pavilion, and it said, wear a tie. So I wore a tie. And then I got there, and everyone else was in proper suits, and there was ex-players. And then Theresa May wear a tie. So I wore a tie. And then I got there. It was all, everyone else was in sort of proper suits. And there was ex-players. And then Theresa May then arrived and sat. I was sitting outside talking to a policeman who's a sort of terrorism prevention guy who was really good fun. And then Theresa May came and sort of sat down in two places.

And I sort of thought, I felt very slightly strange about that, I suppose. Because you think, you don't feel off guard then. Do you know what I mean? She... Do you think she knew... She's also someone that I met. Oh. Who you were.

Do you think she ever listens to the news quiz? I don't know. I wouldn't have thought from a sort of policy point of view they take any interest, take much notice. But, yeah, I have no idea. I met Boris Johnson about three days after the referendum result. Yeah. I was walking down Tottenham Court Road with a friend,

and there was a slight kerfuffle next to us on the traffic island. That's a very Boris word, I suppose. And it was Boris Johnson was there. I just thought, you've got a real chutzpah, because people are not pleased with you now. And if you're not aware of that, then you are. I don't even know what spectrum you'd have to be on. And here you are just going straight through the center town and we just sort

of went up to my friend i went up and said something sort of oleaginous to him uh and he just said oh this is my friend miles and i said yeah you're keeping us all very busy at the moment he went oh god then sort of go back on his bike but i don't know if he was just sort of being sort of vaguely polite or or whatever But, you know, you make remarks about people for no good reason, really. They're in, I suppose, they're in the news or they've done something well or they've done something badly. You don't really know these people and you're just assessing these things from a comedy point of view. You think that's a good joke. It happens to be about that person.

Well, it's strange. It must be odd when you when you bump into people. It must be odd when you bump into people. The stories I keep hearing from comedians especially is that on the occasions that they are in the same room with particularly Tory politicians, they're often beguiled or they're surprised by how sort of charming they are. And they don't expect it. You know, I think I remember Mark Steele talking about getting very upset on question time with one of the Tory panellists on there and then afterwards in the green room being sort of patted on the back by the guy while he was still shaking with rage and indignation.

And the guy was just like, oh, you were very good in there. It was a lot of fun, wasn't it? Yeah. And it was all just a jolly jape. And how disarming that is, I suppose. Yeah. But, you know, people say about Theresa May that she's a nice person.

Yeah. And she's not at all... That doesn't seem implausible. No, she's not at all the robot. On a one-to-one basis. I mean, it's so... She's unfortunately one of those people that it's very easy to characterize as she i mean she looks it's sad but you shouldn't judge people on their looks but with her it's so hard to resist because she looks as if she could have been drawn by

what's his name who does the illustrations for roald dahl books oh um i was gonna say gerald scarf uh quentin blake yeah she looks as if she could have been drawn by quentin blake I was going to say Gerald Scarfe. Quentin Blake. Yeah, she looks as if she could have been drawn by Quentin Blake. Obviously, the way people behave one-to-one is different from how they behave, you know, or think about sort of things ideologically. But I do find that thing where you hear things about people that maybe that you're about to work with. And I think you've got to make your own mind up about people. I mean, you really sometimes you know

i remember someone i was about to work with a friend said oh yeah no he's quite difficult and then i started doing this thing and um i've realized he's not you know he's a perfectionist and also he just sort of speaks bluntly and he's just sort of quite practical and doesn't mind getting on with things and i that's sometimes i always think this about producers if you're mentioning a name with somebody in connection with someone they go oh no well i think no they're no i think they're i don't you know they're very good at acting or so forth but i think they're they're a little bit difficult i i now always assume the worst which is that the person that they're describing is difficult has once pointed out that they are full of fucking shit yeah and uh so that's what they mean by difficult you're like he's very difficult when

he means no that person calls you on your bullshit yeah and we cannot use i don't really want to work with that guy i can't really be yeah it was for he i wasn't really doing my job properly and he and this is what i find so rude uh pointed it out pointed it out and objected At the very moment when I was trying to lump blame on somebody much junior to me. And I think that's really, you know, he won't go anywhere. Are you sanguine about the future? Are you a catastrophist, a worrier? You've got children, right? I do have children.

I can't really worry about things that are sort of totally unknown, I suppose. I do things that are so sort of unimportant. I can't really imagine what it's like to be in a situation where you do things that genuinely make some sort of difference. But I know those people are out there that can take care of stuff. And I kind of have a sort of uh just a trust in these people i don't know where it comes from things just get sorted by these i don't know sort of shady people that we don't know much about i was talking and this cricket thing i was just at this uh terrorism prevention police officer, and he was saying,

oh, man, those guys in MI5, they are unbelievable. They're just stopping everyone all the time. Although I can be a bit of a fretter and a worrier sometimes, a bit of a pacer, sometimes the worrying is just getting to the point where the thing's happening. It's not how it goes. You're going to be relieved when something's over,

however it's gone kind of thing. So I don't... Although at the moment, everything seems so ridiculously uncertain. I don't know when this will all be edited together, but I suppose what this week we've got North Korea saying, look, as far as we're concerned, the guy's declared war on us and stuff.

And he's saying, well, you know, if we do, we can destroy you or whatever. That's crazy. And yet sometimes you just wonder about it and you think, well, you know, there's still a little queue at the butcher's and, you know, the cash machine's still working at the end of the street

and, you know, can put pets in the car or whatever. You know, life sort of has this sort of habit of going on while other stuff's happening. And in a way, if you feel a little bit of disconnect it does enable you to sort of not worry about these things but maybe i'm being terrifically complacent but there's something that makes me think things will be okay do you are you worried i mean i'm a warrior here we are in your bunker yeah um yeah a lot of fear i am a warrior but I worry that I'm, you know, whenever I don't worry, I worry that I should be worrying. Yeah.

And I worry that I'm one of the people that's not doing something about it. Yeah. I should be like, don't you feel that everything does have an effect? You sort of said, well, the people making the decisions are sort of out there they're the experts wandering around in underground bunkers or whatever and that's true to a certain degree but then on a societal level there are all kinds of revolutionary changes afoot well that's what it feels like if i'm in an airport and there's smoke coming out of a bin i'm not just gonna oh yeah sure one of these people that you never see will deal with that or whatever i'm hoping one would hope that one would um but i mean things like um to talk

about what we were speaking about before the whole business of uh what happens when you come up against the real people that you speak about in a comedic way for example and the the fact that these people are real and not just kind of two dimensional cartoonish personifications of evil, which sometimes they have to be for comedic purposes to make a joke pop. You can't really go into the possibility that actually person X might not be just a a total bastard yeah maybe there's more to them and we might not agree with this policy but actually you know because that's what politics is like in real life like most people even if they're a member of the labor party they may not agree with absolutely every aspect of labor party policy at that point well no no they won't I mean I suppose if you're going to mock someone's background that's that's not really fair that's that's something over which people have no control whatever they are if their background is they're sort of eaten educated

or whatever their background is you know they're the children of criminals or you know whatever it is that that's you can't really call people on that but you your people's politics is absolutely fair game of course their background may inform those politics but also people kind of trust people to make their own minds up about things as grown-ups so i kind of think if it's people you know there's a good my local mp i've met a couple of times he seems when you meet him to be a sort of fairly normal man. I've spoke to him on the train once and then he was, you know, a bit sort of flustered because one of his family hadn't been well and he hadn't sort of slept and stuff. And you think, oh, he's a, you know, a real, he's, this guy's a human, actually.

And then, like, you know, you Google his voting record and you think it's completely animal like this man's appalling what this man thinks about things so you know there's that sort of personal thing and it's and it's that side of them that you're if you are going to make jokes or attack them so it's that side of them that attacks them yes but then decisions that they have rationally made that you think are fundamentally wrong is is i is i think sort of fair game the other thing is of course you can have you know like friends that you have you don't have the same politics with people's political opinions seem to be as passionate as like the most passionate stand-up comedians opinions you know yeah it's like theresa may is just a fucking evil harridan

um and that's it she's evil right she's she's malicious she doesn't have people's best interests at heart she's entirely motivated by greed and other things that you could say that the tories are characterized by and it's that simple and so then a lot of other people seem to adopt those kinds of political passions and i feel like there's a link between the the story about laura koonsberg the bbc political correspondent having to have a uh a bodyguard at the labour party conference is that i mean is that a real story is that that's a real thing and that's that's to do with i don't know what's happened to sort of nuance in a way everything's become very binary i don't know if it's because people are reduced to just, you know, using shorter messages and, you know,

George Bush saying you're with us or you're against us or whatever. Just a completely sort of nuance free phrase that has sort of massive cut through, as they say in media world. All of this is more, you know, people, not every question is a leading question. There's, well, there are good things and bad things about such and such, you know, but there isn't sort of space for that now. And the problem that an institution like the BBC gets caught up in, I think, is this, is this what I think or is this what someone thinks in a book I just read? The clash between impartiality and balance.

Now, impartiality and balance are not the same thing at all, but they're sort of used in the same way. So, for instance, you know, we have a sort of someone on, an extremely left-wing person who represents what, you know, millions of people think. Oh, that's not balanced just to have them on. We've to get this sort of you know i don't know the guy from the christian voice who has like membership of 30 or whatever that's not balanced you know at all and they're like well no we've got to be impartial about these things and an umpire or a referee they are impartial they make a decision based on what they've seen in front of them and so

journalists who set out to be objective, well, you know, they've got to make a call some way. Did you enjoy that speech? I didn't. It wasn't a good speech. It didn't really have any sort of say anything that sort of spoke to the people in the hall or whatever. And so Koonsberg gets a lot of grief for a sort of presumed very anti-Corbyn sentiment. On the news quiz sometimes, you know,

you make a joke about Corbyn and then you get lots of complaints and people saying oh you must be a Tory remember the Tory party or whatever and then you get lots of complaints saying this program is just unbelievably left-wing what the hell's going on here I think bias is bias is things that people like an accusation people sling around all the time. And I think that comes from people saying they're from a neutral point who aren't. I know people, I mean, you go online and obviously there's a feeding frenzy when it comes to BBC bias. Yeah. I mean, I don't get in, like I don't do, I have no sort of social media thing. I don't get involved in on conversations

online or whatever and i find that that world to be honest quite sort of frightening that you can you know twitter to me seems to be you know you're just basically you're opening up a window saying you're now allowed to shout at me through this about whatever you like or yeah i think getting huge amounts of criticism or praise are equally damaging yeah it's not how i don't think it's good good for anyone a couple of of comments I came across. Oh, I was watching a video of Frankie Boyle on... It was a Russian sort of news chat show. Oh, yeah.

With some strange presenter called Maximilian or something. Yeah, that's right, yeah. And anyway, beneath that, I just started looking. Was it on Russia Today? Maybe, yeah. Yeah, I watched that, I think. And they were talking about bias. And then I looked at some of the comments underneath.

I mean, admittedly, this is YouTube, but Internet Champ says, the BBC is now just a mouthpiece for the Tory party. Sadly, we fund it, just like our taxes pay for the weapons which are sold to saudi arabia who supply isis and then someone else edward 6000 says boyle russell brand joe brand mark steel jeremy hardy eddie izzard herring toxfig o'brien intz norton linehan lee brigke, Thomas, etc, etc, etc, etc. The Bilderberg Broadcasting Corporation is pro-mass immigration, pro-EU, and it is ultra left wing. Do you think the Bilderberg Group is pro-mass immigration?

Do you think that's one of the conclusions that they've come to? Yes, I've got no idea what the Bilderberg group actually do. It's like a sort of Global Masons, I guess. Yeah, it's networking and they say, you know, how would you like to run this large corporation out in Saudi Arabia? Well, things like the Halliburton group and stuff. I did a pantomime in Aberdeen in 2005, playing the role of Simple Simon. And one of the things was to do

the song sheet bit with the dame my friend Alan McHugh and so you'd get everyone singing a song together and you'd maybe get some people up and ask them some silly questions but you'd also have the shout outs to do but because it was Aberdeen's sort of an oil

city you'd have sort of I don't know corporate bookings in the midst of an oil city, you'd have sort of, I don't know, corporate bookings in the midst of all these things, so you'd be saying you know, the 6th Brigade Peterhead Peterhead Boy Scouts are in, hello to them, hey, whatever and you know Janice is here with her grandchildren

today, she's 84 today ladies and gentlemen she's 84 today, and we also have 12 members of the Halliburton group here today. A big shout out to Total UK, the French oil... Hello to Big Pharma. Yeah, exactly. They've taken the whole of the back row. That's right.

The people at the Constant Gardener were about there in, you know, whatever it might be. It was really, really very strange. Wow. Is that fun, doing that kind of show? I actually really loved it and you've done other theater since then like so-called serious theater yeah i did um i did an alan bennett play at the national called people um and i did no well i've had some things i've really some of them have been just really enjoyable things to do i did the first proper play i did

was at the northampton Royal Theatre. It's Sveena Cadell directed. It was called Where the World, Restoration Comedy. And it was, I just was so excited. I just had an amazing time.

The people were glorious. And people were, you know, coming up to me and saying, you know, I know this is your first play and I, it's terrific that you're

enjoying it this much, but I just thought I ought to tell you that you do need to know that it's not always like this. this is unusually enjoyable and i did a day in the death of joe egg when you're doing a play doesn't it make it impossible to do anything else yeah that's that's your focus if you're i suppose during rehearsal period you can maybe go off and do a gig in the evening but the actual run of it yeah that's that's what you're but aren't they quite

long the runs what are they usually like well the ones at the national you're you're in rep so you might be on three nights a week or four nights a week and you you know these dates months in advance when your rehearsal is full on but you could you know if another play comes in they tech and stuff you could be off stage for two weeks or something like that we had our play was really the more recent one i did was really physical and complicated we had three weeks off at one point and came back and had to sort of run it all on a in the afternoon to check that you know you're picking up 50 props an hour or whatever anything i don't know if i can remember this anymore so that yeah when you're doing it it's sort of all it is ideally sort of all consuming i suppose have you done it no or something like that and would you would you fancy it yeah i would

yeah yeah i think it'd be fun i used to love acting at school and you know i've done bits and pieces on tv and always enjoyed it i guess my range is not huge yeah well i mean look who you're talking to uh you're with you're just with other people and that's the exciting thing i really love i've ended up doing a lot of sort of solo work and yeah stuff where you know i'm hosting and stuff and then you're sort of in charge i really i really like being in a team to me that's just the best well now we're both country guys you're out in yeah i'm in monmouthshire so i've you know if i get now i wanted i'd love to go and do a play in bath or bristol or something yeah yeah how is it out in monmouthshire it's yeah i'm having a nice time i mean i mean things for instance like I wanted to do a

play in London next year and I can't do that because I can't go away for four months solidly I just can't do that you know it's really not fair

on the family you've got like 200 kids yeah five five five kids I have so you know that's a certain degree of responsibility

yeah a massive degree of responsibility that comes with that but at the moment I'm doing a lot of writing and stuff like that beautiful part of the world last time I was in Monmouthshire I was visiting this is a straightforward name drop brag

for indie music fans I was visiting the band The Pixies or Pixies if you're a purist because they were recording at Rockfield, Rockfield, Rockfield Studios. And I'm sort of friendly with Charles Thompson, who's the lead singer, Frank Black, as he's also known. So I cycled out there on my Brompton from what is the nearest station? The nearest big rail station. Newport.

I can't remember what it was abigavenny maybe it was abigavenny that's a journey i mean it was a good i think it was what like 15 miles or something yeah yeah so it took me about an hour and a half to cycle it on the a40 very no hilly it took me back back way and um it was raining it really rained so by the time i got there i was completely soaking and charles thompson frank black came out and met me and said hey come in and it was the pixies when they reformed are you a music fan are you like a pixies fan anyway so they'd reformed and they were recording a new album so it's really exciting and they'd reformed with the original lineup including kim deal who had um previously been sort of on bad terms with the rest of the band charles especially

and we went in there and it was pretty cool and exciting because i'm a real muso and i knew that they'd recorded like bohemian rhapsody yeah there was a really good exhibition recently among the museum and it was just lots of stuff. Lots of the music from the 90s from my period was all recorded. What were the big albums from the 90s? Like Oasis did big recordings of that. That's right. I think I was sleeping in the room because it's

a residential studio and I think I was imagining what Liam Gallagher would have been doing. My brother's a big vinyl guy, a big muso and he... My two sort of musical educators, my brother Ed, and then I used to share a flat with the guy Dougie Anderson, who's very...

You know, Dougie Anderson does fighting talk and these sorts of things to present right. He's a glorious man, and he would sit there and go, right, you need to see New York Doll, or you need to see The Devil and Daniel Johnson stuff. So he watched loads of things, and then, but my brother, we,

you know, he'd come to Monmouth and he'd be like, yeah, well that branch of Costa, can we go in there? And I'd be like, why? I don't really want to go to Costa.

He goes, no, it's just because one of the stranglers was sacked in there once and stuff like that. He just sort of knew all the little kind of, well, that's weird that you mentioned Costa in the high street. Yeah. Because that's where I ended up sitting with charles thompson one afternoon

of the pixies right so so the first night that i get to the studio he uh i don't see any of the band i'm trying to be cool because i'm aware that yeah it's like they're back together they've had some difficulties internally especially with kim deal and charles and i don't want to bring up anything that's going to be awkward so i don't say anything I just go and chat to Charles in his room and he's playing me some of the stuff they've been working on which to my ears sounds great you know they had this song Indie Cindy and uh I really loved that album and and the stuff he was playing I was like this is terrific you know and then the next day we met up for a coffee at Costa Coffee. Yeah.

And we chatted a bit more about how it had all been going. And I asked after Kim cautiously. And he said, oh, yeah, she's left. And I was like, oh, right. Well, she's just you only needed her for a bit of the sessions. He's like, no, she left the band. I was like, oh, no. So he told me about it.

And he said, yeah, it happened here. They were sat in Costa Coffee, the whole of the Pixies about it and he said, yeah, it happened here. They were sat in Costa Coffee, the whole of the Pixies. It seems so unlikely. Maybe it's the Pixies he was talking about, not the Stranglers. Maybe, maybe. It seems unlikely to be too mass firing. I was going to say, yeah. Where are they from anyway, the Stranglers?

Stranglers are, I don't know, like Watford or something. I have no idea. But, yeah, so they broke up or at least Kim announced that she was leaving at Costa in Monmouth High Street yeah that's extraordinary because you know they

I think they'd all been really trying to get on and make it work but group dynamics are kind of you just get a thing sometimes you're working on something you fall out with someone you can't get there's someone i worked with last year that i just couldn't get on with and you just uh it just you i've just never i can't shake it i you know if i bumped into them now i'd feel profoundly i saw them i saw them in a restaurant window i was and

i just went oh and you know it was like seeing a ghost or whatever once you know something's in your head it's it's kind of done and you can't be did your did your um relationship ever kind of peak did you did it explode at any point no no no it just turned to two people that became incredibly well quite high on my part but um you know people that you know just i mean just chemically you know some people don't get on i think of it as a great rock and roll thing. As a person of my age, I was in James Cattle, who I do a lot of writing with, who's head writer on the News Quiz. We were in the Albany pub, which you probably know, near Great Portland Street.

Oh, yeah. Tube station, and we'd done a News Quiz recording. And this guy came up to our table, looked at us, was about to speak and then went, no, no, no, no, no. And walked off and we thought,

oh, cool. And then about 10 minutes later he came back, it was him again. He obviously had a few drinks and he said, yeah, sorry, I just thought

I just want to say I like what you do. I'm called Miles as well. I was like, oh, right, well, it's nice to meet another Miles. So we chatted a bit and then he went uh i'm in the the wonder stuff and james said all right you're miles hunt oh wow you wrote and then that reeled off loads of songs and he was like

yeah yeah yeah i did and we were like oh well good to sit down so we ended up drinking with him there until closing time and then went back it's like oh we're staying around the corner at the radisson or any other excellent local hotel yeah they're in the melia white house uh come and uh so we ended up going back to like the bar they'd been doing a evening like a lemac thing i think and um ended up in their sort of suite in a hotel room and he was like he was very big news quiz fan and he would just describe he's a really nice guy as well and uh he was sort of describing his saturday afternoon ritual of listening to the news quiz in the bath and where he lives and stuff the big windows open lots of sort of steam and a very vivid picture and about um you know it's really late and i was doing radio play the next

day and we really needed to sort of get going and um about a quarter to three james was like look i mean you've been very nicely saying that you like our work and stuff and we really like your work do you think i mean would you mind like you know doing a song for us whoa good one he came out he actually said and uh like someone else was saying i'm not playing it's like no and he went pass that guitar nice what do you want and James was like go for the hit

size of a cow size of a cow bang okay and he just started playing size of a cow wow what a mensch

and then after 20 seconds he stopped and stared at us and I thought I thought no he's going to say no you can fuck off but he didn't

he went join in and so we sang yeah all sang signs for cow in this hotel room at quarter three in the morning 10 minutes later james and i walked down the street going well that was an unexpected evening wasn't it that was i've never that is great it was really fun miles hunt what a hero yeah he was a great and i you know then sometimes i i'm you know you bump into someone and you just find yourself just sort of feasting on them on i don't know if you look a friend and i were emailing once we're talking about like going to youtube concerts where you just find yourself on your own at home

so you sort of pour a bottle of wine you think i think i'm gonna watch pulp at glastonbury uh or whatever and just watching you know british bands on american chat shows and stuff like that youtube so i watched a lot of uh my dougie aniston is good friends with um mark morris and i met him oh yeah yeah and um i just i must have spent evening just watching blue tones stuff on on youtube have you looked have you watched the stuff he's he's now in matt berry's band or he is he sometimes yeah well you know matt berry tours around it does i've never met matt berry he's a regular collaborator with me uh occasional yeah i like him very much he's he's the real deal he's not someone who's putting all that on he's a bit like rich fulcher do you know him at all

from the bush i sat next to him once and i read through for something i read through for the boat that rocks the richard oh right curtis film he read the um i guess what would have been the philip seymour hoffman part or whatever and he was really he was really funny and i remember being flired by him in the street once in edinburgh years before he did a show called my mum still thinks i'm a lawyer or something yeah really sort of full-on screaming kind of i had a thing about that i when i went to that i thought oh god that's exciting a big um richard curtis thing on the read-through maybe i'll get a part in it or whatever that would be amazing this is what would this be 10 years ago maybe more something like that yeah and so turn up at the century club

on shaftsbury avenue and then you get there and people are like ludicrously famous and it's a little bit hot and if i'm nervous and it's a little bit hot that's it i'm sort of gone hello adam buxton here i'm just popping in to explain that at this point in the recording was when it stopped when i was recording i mentioned in the intro that there were some technical problems and this is the point at which they kicked in luckily my trusty backup recorder was working, which enables me to play you this short section in which we exchanged Guy Ritchie-related stories. And then later on, I realized that the recording had stopped and I restarted. And you'll hear that bit towards the end when we talk about, what did we talk about? Parenting, things that annoy us.

It's all good stuff. See you later. How about Sherlock Holmes? Disaster. Absolutely disaster. In which you were the waiter who had all his lines cut. Yeah, absolutely disaster. And didn't find out until the premiere.

Is that real? That is true, yeah. I should have worked it out on the day. Right. Directed by Guy Ritchie. Correct. I went to school with Guy Ritchie. Okay.

When we were little. That must have been some really, sort of, really terrifying school somewhere. It's a really tough school on a council estate. It was run by gangsters. Yeah. The lessons were doing people in. Mischief. Yeah. Mischief.

Dealing with nonces. Yeah. Rhyming. A lot of rhyming. Yeah. No, the reality of it was, of course, that it was a boarding school, and Guy was one of the students there. He came a little bit after everyone else,

but when I was about 11, I was quite friendly with him, and he was like a... He was a bit taller than... Yeah, most people are taller than I am, but he was particularly tall. He cut a fine dash. I remember him as being this sort of country gent, almost. It was...

He had a style that most other 11 year old boys didn't. Yeah. And he was really nice. And he taught me how to play cards and, and he was good looking and all the girls fancied him and stuff. And so I had fond memories of him. And it was, it was funny to me after years of having not kept up with him or seen him

really. Cause we weren't like total best friends or anything. But, you know, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels comes out, directed by Guy Ritchie. I'm like, I wonder if that's my Guy Ritchie. That can't be two Guy Ritchies. Yeah. And sure enough, it is.

I see some EPKs with him or whatever. I was like, yeah, that is Guy Ritchie. He hasn't changed that much, except now he had a scar. Dueling scar. Right. And then I saw him at the comedy awards and me and Joe were doing TV stuff

by that time and we'd we'd wangled our way onto the comedy awards somehow with someone else but I'm wandering around

afterwards I see Guy Ritchie with a couple of big guys with him you know looking fairly stern and I go up and say

hey man how you doing do you remember me and I said hey it's Adam Buxton we went to school together you know because I didn't want to hey man how you doing do you remember me and i i said hey it's adam buxton we we went to school together you know because i i didn't want to be the guy who sort of goes remember me and he needs to be reminded so i thought i'll make it easy for him but he looked at me like completely blank yeah like what the shit are you talking about so i spelled it out for him i was like you remember you were at this school and and he said uh and

he just shook his head and he just said oh oh, I went to a lot of schools. Went to a lot of schools. And then he, I was like, you what? It was a really weird experience. That is extraordinary. I mean, I felt as if it could be that he just didn't remember and he's had an exciting, colourful life since then. And those memories have been replaced by other ones. But you're sort of like you're doing

yeah you're wrecking his sort of backstory and sort of leaning into going not now Baxter not now. Yes exactly we'll talk about Sticky Biscuit later yeah yeah. Don't bring it up in front of the guys for God's sake but how was he when you were

doing the film? Well I mean I barely I barely I mean I just had like one day on it and I just had one line. The line I had was kept... Robert Downey Jr. kept speaking over the end of it. So, I mean, I thought I was going to be fired before I'd even got, you know, done a few takes really. Why was he talking over the end of it?

Because he was so... Well, he was having a... My line was to Jude Law and his line was to Kelly Riley and there were two concurrent he was well he was having my line was to Jude Law and his line was to Kenny Riley and there were two concurrent conversations going and he was sort of

coming in over me and he we did two or three takes where it happened and nobody said anything and then eventually Jude Law went sorry I really do think

there's a bit of overlapping going on here and then suddenly everyone seemed to it was a really full room you know and suddenly everyone just seemed to sort of

shrink from the room I couldn't just everyone sort suddenly everyone just seemed to sort of shrink from the room I couldn't just everyone so compete disappeared and then I sort of sound guy appeared and went Yes Which is that you're talking over Robert I said well Yeah, okay, what are we getting? I mean just don't can you don't talk when he's talking I was going well starting the line and then he's yeah, but you can't talk when he's talking. I was going, well, I'm starting the line and then he's...

Yeah, but you can't talk when he's... I said, do you want me to... He goes, maybe you shouldn't say your line. I was going, what, and then you'll just pick it up on the single or something? He went, you just can't talk when he's talking. And then walked off and then... He's an iron man. And then he sorted it out, actually.

He went, like, hey, what's your name? Come over here. Let's run this a few times, sure the bits fit but then obviously by then it was didn't and I was went back sat in the trailer for a few hours and then they were like we're doing the big master shot now the big wide shot and I was like oh you're not being new for the big wide shot no no we don't need you for that you'll be fine so clearly I've been dumped by there

but I didn't realize you know you're just sort of reading but I you know at the time I was on tour with Simon Munry we were doing this show about Elizabeth and Raleigh that Stuart had written. And I remember being in the dressing room of the Havant Arts Centre, repairing my own costume, stitching my own breeches back together or whatever. And then got a call saying, you know,

next Monday you're going to spend a day doing a movie. And you think, great, you know, and at the time, you know, it's a lovely lovely lift, but yeah it was a kind of traumatic and then a mate of mine came to the, yeah came to the premiere and I was like it should be now, oh no, no, it's gone and I was like, no, no, it would have been

there, and you just, I just leaned in yeah, but at the time also there's so, I think if you do but at the time also there's so i think if you do lots of different things there's so much sort of distance between when you make something and when it's on you don't really feel involved in it anyway really you've never really been that involved in it even if you're sort of in it for a short time it's really the people that are on there all the time so you don't it's hard to be too and i just sort of found it funny that that was happening i suppose this is a warning which should be considered pressing in this next bit there is something you

may find distressing you can hear the sound of someone eating you can hear the sound of someone eating you can hear the sound of someone eating someone eating someone eating it's really not so bad you can hardly hear it but I know it makes some of you sad. And there are those of you who fear it. You don't like the sound of someone eating. You don't like the sound of someone eating. You don't like the sound of someone eating. Someone eating or drinking. Munch. No. Chomp. Yuck. Slurp. Bark. Num, num, num, num. Crunch. Chew. Smack. Yuck. Skip ahead a little bit. If for you these sounds are gory, 60 seconds should be safe. But if not, So you're in countryside, countryside? Yeah, we are.

And is it lovely? It's really nice. I love it. I record the... Would you bus in or cycle into Norwich? Cycle in. And I just started cycling with my son. My oldest son is 15. And I cycled in to town with him the other day for the first time.

My wife's very nervous. She doesn't want the children cycling around there. She just thinks I'll get knocked off down some country lane. Yeah. How old are your children eldest is eight oh man yeah and how old's the youngest two whoa so you're only just emerging from the tunnel well i guess yeah i mean we're gonna have i know i forgot the number i calculated once how many years we would spend having teenagers and it

was quite a long yeah quite a long time so there's all that to look forward to but um you know there's lots of fun to be had isn't there um but yeah it's a good motivator really good motivator yeah what's the bit of parenting wisdom that you like to impart to others I think somebody told me that Robert Barthurst, remember Robert Barthurst? Really very nice man in cold feet. Oh, yeah. He's got quite a lot of children, and he said, in retrospect, I wish I'd been able to treat the eldest

the way I treated the youngest. As in to be able to have that kind of... I mean, that's an impossible piece of advice, I suppose, because you really don't know what you're doing when you have your first one. I suppose you've just got to not take anything personally. I think that's an impossible piece of advice, I suppose, because you really don't know what you're doing when you have your first one. I suppose you've just got to not take anything personally. I think that's very hard. You know, everything that people are doing and saying,

they're behaving that way out of some sort of necessity for it. It's not always sort of on you. I guess maybe the good thing about having a larger family is that you don't... You just can't be quite so precious with each individual. And maybe that makes them less. I worry that I just put too much emotional weight onto the children just because I'm so needy. Right, right.

You know what I mean? And because I convey the sense that I had before I became a father that I had this fantasy of what being a parent would be like which was totally um unhelpful i.e that they would just love me unconditionally and put up with all my shortcomings and ignore all the first of those must be true yeah but then that doesn't last you see I mean I think there's a there's a kind of motif of love, you hope, that continues with your family. But on top of it is just a load of interpersonal indifference. Often, you know, it's like, well, you're just people at the end of the day and you may be the kind of person that they find a bit tedious. I suppose the thing is, like, you know, you've just got to put some effort in sometimes and other times you've got to step back haven't you yeah it's hard i mean now they're entering

the they're entering the phase where they they are stepping back yeah and they're asserting their independence and now it often when you go into their room and say hey how's it going and how is school and stuff they shift around uncomfortably and you know they can't wait for you to leave it's as if they've just committed a murder and you're a policeman they just want to get back on their phones and start selling drugs yeah and it's really annoying but you're like going hey should i get the leg out of the attic again they just want to carry on sexting yeah yeah but do you ever worry about this world that you have you know because you've got no experience of living in a social media bubble no exactly when you were that age well i'm writing a novel at the moment that is set it's like a teacher getting really fed up with his probably his job more like the

sort of school he teaches in and i have set it i'm only like 20 000 words into it but i've set it very deliberately when i was at school so the teacher is the age that I am now in the book but the but he is teaching a school at the age when I was at school because I thought I can't imagine plotting a story set in a school now when everybody has mobile phones and you email your teachers and stuff like that. To me, that seems completely unfathomable. But that is the actual world that they will be going into, the thing that I literally refuse to research in order to get something done. That seems to me like a slightly frightening thing.

But we're a relatively screen-free household, actually. How do you manage to enforce that? My wife got up early one morning and unplugged the television and put it in the loft we hadn't had a television for years and then i bought one and then it turned out people were just watching it too much it's not even they're watching it too much it's the noise they make when you turn it off yeah yeah you're like you can't you've got to be able to deal with this going off eventually yeah so stuck it in the attic and then does it come out when you want to watch it or does it come out at weekends or anything oh no well it eventually will come out it's going to come out when the clocks go forward or back or whatever it is that they do in the autumn now i've heard

you talking about yourself as kind of an angry person in the past do you still get angry about things in that same sort of way yeah i've got a very short tempo so do i i think a lot of a lot of my stuff is all quite near the surface really and i've got really short i get very cross what do you like when you lose it loud very loud very really because i mean you're you're quite spoken well yeah it's exhausting when it happens i'm quite softly spoken and um they're very loud and very I mean mainly it's with inanimate objects or whatever I have um oh you lob things around or just sort of strike them I've um I took uh two broken printers to the tip the other day both of which we moved house with but both of which were broken by me just how did you break break them? I will physically attack them.

So what was the problem? You were getting lines in your printout? Whatever, you know, just one of those things. It's taking out five or six bits of paper when it should be doing one over an inanimate object. And I suppose, you know, I do have quite a short fuse with the children, I suppose, sometimes, you know, which is pathetic of me, but you're like,

can you just do the thing that, you know... Where you're contracted to do. Do the thing that you know where you're contracted to do the thing that you're yeah there's a deal there's a deal here you all sign those forms and it is the daddy knows best sign the waiver eat your fucking broccoli uh that sort of yeah that's that sort of stuff if the children are being difficult i sort of think rather than thinking you're my child and you should do as I ask, what I'm going to do is imagine that you are my boss and that you're being completely unreasonable and I'm going to be very good about it.

And that is a way of putting, pathetically, you think, well, if I was all right working with that guy, I was being a complete arsehole and I was very mellow about it. That's what I know. Why can't I do that at home? So, yeah, trying to channel some of those things. But I do, yeah, I do get really... And what about with members of the public? That's where I come unglued sometimes,

is with officials, particularly. I got very cross with a lady at Paddington Station recently. She was not letting people onto a particular train. There'd been some sort of thing. I was trying to get on a train with Pip Evans and Lloyd Langford, and the information desk said, yeah, those tickets are valid and she just stood at the back and they're not valid. And people were going, yeah, but there's been an accident

and so now it's all moving. It's just policy. Have you spoken to the information desk? No, it's policy or whatever. Policy. Quite so fancy. I once got really given a dressing down by my wife for being sarcastic to some train staff in Italy,

which was probably completely you know i don't know to what extent i was able to convey my sarcasm but she really she was like you just can't talk to people like that but i got i got really really crossed with someone that i thought was just being so deliberately unhelpful and i said i said what is it fucking bring an idiot to work day? In Italian? No, in English. So the only person I could have been annoying would have been my own wife. Right.

And she really, stop it. Stop it. Really. Yeah. On this platform. But you get annoyed with members of the public. Yeah, by exactly what you just described. When people fall back on kind of official jargon. Yeah, yeah. or basically just say, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.

When it's like, well, that's just not true. There's loads of things you can do. You just don't want to. Can I talk to somebody more senior? Yeah. Perhaps a supervisor or whatever like that. about being in a bank and trying to describe her situation to something like this young guy who's going, yeah, well, I can't understand why you'd need that sort of money right now,

you know, and she went, can I talk to somebody older? It doesn't have to be more senior than you. I just actually, what I'm saying will be understood by somebody who is older than you. And we've got someone older and it was all sorted. On Rye Lane, during the passport crisis, do you remember the massive backlog a few years ago? And I put like four passport applications through

during a lunchtime. Uh-huh. And it took like an hour or whatever and there's only three windows open. And as I left, an old lady went, good riddance. And you think, yeah, fair enough. So you just took that one on the chin,

you didn't go back and say, sorry, what did you say? Sorry, is it my hearing, or did you just have a pop? Hey, old woman, what the fuck did you just say? I heard. I ain't afraid of you motherfuckers. Yeah, I do, yeah. All right, here's a list of things. you just say i heard i ain't afraid of you motherfuckers um yeah i do yeah all right here's a list of things tell me how you feel about some of these okay being stuck in traffic i'm all right about that sometimes i'm all right about it as well you know because sometimes

there's nothing you can do sometimes it's like a little holiday and you just think oh fuck it just me in the car got the radio on yeah as long as you don't need to go for a pee. Bag of Revels. Love it. Everyone's happy. When people chuck their rubbish out of the car window. Not good. Not good. Really. No, no, no, no, no. Not good. Littering in general. Not good. Have you ever had a confrontation? Ever told someone to pick something up?

No, I haven't. But we actually... I tried it with some youths. Did you? Yeah. How did it go? Not well. Not well. No, they said they pay for someone to do that and i was like that's not how you're supposed to think about it yeah pick the stuff up what you're doing is not job creation yeah it's laziness when you hold the door open for someone and they don't say thank you that does annoy me or don't acknowledge it in some way and i'll tell you someone who did that to me once was Yuri Geller

in BBC Scotland downstairs you held the door open for Yuri you got nothing nothing fuck you Yuri Geller because before that I was really like a big fan yeah and it really

it just shows it can turn it can turn on a sequence it can bend like a pre-bent spoon when people let their children misbehave in restaurants i mean that's not really fair because children think yeah you have to sort of empathize i i agree when people let their children walk up slides, demented. I cannot. No. When children walk up slides and there's other children waiting to use them. Yeah, absolutely madness.

Yeah. So frustrating. When people hold a conversation in a doorway. Bad, yeah. Yeah. My children, I say quite often, a doorway is never a place to stand still. This is rule one. It's a is rule one it's about 20 rule ones and also

slow walkers on busy pavements yeah yeah yeah that's a tough one sometimes well I have a wheelie suitcase and I've got a real problem with people with wheelie suitcases that aren't purchased about it

and mine's a four wheeler so whenever I'm in a very crowded street or there's lots of people I can put it up because it's four wheels it can travel flat and upright and take up the littlest amount of space yeah possible but we're here near sort of king's cross and you know sometimes you've got to understand people have arrived somewhere they've never been

before yeah staring at maps on their phone and putting this enormous thing around yeah i get really really tough in new york there's like zero tolerance for that kind of thing i went in new york with my brother twice in the noughties and i remember us really like it was aimed at us but we found it really funny like us being slightly unsure about that you can turn left on red or whatever and we were just like being slightly hesitant on a crossing a street and the guy behind us went welcome to the city now keep walking and we we thought it was really funny sarcastic wait this is an advert for squarespace every time i visit your website i see success yes success the way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes it looks very professional I love browsing your videos and pics and I

don't want to stop and I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop. These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, launch because you will want to launch use the offer code buxton to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain so put the smile of success on your face with squarespace yes continue Yes. Continue. Hey, welcome back, podcats. That was Miles Jupp I was talking to there. I'm very grateful indeed to Miles for making the time to talk to me way back in 2017.

I call them the good old days and I'll be delving into my retro podcast cupboard maybe once or twice more before the end of the year. There's a few conversations there that should have seen the light of day before now but didn't for as i said in my introduction various reasons technical organizational blah blah blah blah another recently recorded episode of the podcast with front man of the band travis and an old friend of mine fran healy will be available in a few days we We had a great conversation. I actually managed to see Fran and the rest of the band just in the sweet spot a few weeks back before everything started getting more Robert Lockdowny Jr.

I was hosting an online Q&A with the band, even though I was in the same room with them, appropriately socially distanced, of course. And it was very good to see them all. I spent quite a bit of time hanging out with Travis back in the day towards the end of the 90s and on into the beginning of the 2000s. If you're a regular podcast, you'll know that Dougie from Travis, the bass player, was a guest on this podcast.

And it was great to catch up with Fran. There's a lot of juvenile laughing, smutty humor, reminiscing, some name dropping. And we revisited a kind of cataclysmic confrontation that we had it was quite dramatic anyway that's in the next episode of the podcast i don't usually do trails because to be honest i don't usually know who's coming up next but this time i do anyway look out for that but that's it for this week i hope you're doing all right wherever you are. Thanks very much indeed to the people who helped me with this podcast. Seamus Murphy Mitchell, who provides various forms of production support. Annika Meissen, who did some editing on this episode.

Jack Bushel, who also did a bit of editing on this episode back in the day. Thanks to ACAST for their continued support. Bushel, who also did a bit of editing on this episode back in the day. Thanks to ACAST for their continued support. And thanks very much indeed to you for downloading this and other episodes of this podcast and enthusing about it to your friends, if that's what you do. Thanks. I love making the podcast. I feel very lucky to be able to do so. And that's thanks to you, in a way. I mean, the podcast. I feel very lucky to be able to do so. And that's thanks to you, in a way. I mean, not totally. I would carry on doing it even if it wasn't for you, probably.

But still, it's nice to actually have people listening to it. That's the point. You know, shut up now. Go home and give dog a kiss. And maybe even my wife. give dog a kiss and maybe even my wife till next time take all the best of the care

and remember I love you bye Like and subscribe. Bye. Thank you.