THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.56 - KATHY BURKE

Episode Date: November 11, 2017

Adam enjoys another rambling conversation with British actor, writer and theatre director Kathy Burke.Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support and Matt Lamont for additional editing.Music & jingles by Adam Buxton Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All right, I'm putting my boots on. Hello, Rosie. How are you? As soon as Rosie hears me putting my boots on, she knows it's walking time. She can even hear me from the top of the house sometimes. It's weird. And she zips down and stands just looking at me as she is now. Looking at me saying, come on, are we going or what? I didn't get a walk yesterday. Because you were poncing around.

And you promised me one. I know, I'm sorry. Well, we're going to go for a walk right now. Oh, just before we go, can I have a scratch scratch? Rose is just lying down now with her paws in the air looking at me

with a smile or at least what I perceive to be a smile. Scratch scratch. Delivered. Let's go. Alright. It's cold out there, Rose. You ready?

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin. Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening i took my microphone and found some human folk then i recorded all the noises while we spoke my name is adam buxton i'm a man i want you to enjoy this, that's the plan. It's a beautiful evening. A riot of autumnal shades, browns and oranges and all the rest of it. That's all you're getting, browns, oranges and all the rest of it. That's all you're getting. Browns, oranges and all the rest of it. Anyway, how are you doing listeners? Adam Buxton here. Welcome to podcast number 56, which features a conversation between myself and British actor, writer and theatre director, Cathy Burke.

This is Cathy's second time on the podcast, of course, our conversation in episode 15. That was more of a career overview, I suppose. For this one, which was recorded in February of this year, 2017, I emailed Kathy the night before just a few random questions about some of her likes and dislikes and things that she'd been enjoying on TV, etc. And we used those as our ramble launch pad. So I cycled off to Cathy's house in North London and she brewed up a nice pot of herbal tea and we talked about the theatre. Cathy is of course a theatre director as I mentioned as well as an actor. In fact she has just directed a very funny play written by Sam Bain who co-wrote Peep Show and many other wonderful things.

That's called The Retreat. If you want to go and see that, it runs until December 2nd at the Park Theatre in London. We didn't talk about that, obviously, because it was in the future. But we did talk about the theatre. We also talked about cringey memories. We talked about Cathy's life-and and death battle with a killer bug. I've made that sound like a tabloid headline, but it's true. That's what happened to her a few years ago. She was really very ill. And it gets quite graphic,

our conversation, just to warn you if you're squeamish, not up for that kind of thing. But as you can imagine, with Kathy, there's a lot of crying. She felt very sorry for herself. It's a bit of irony sauce for your word burger there, mate. I asked Kathy about what the last film she really enjoyed was. And she spoke about a film that we both really loved. Well, she briefly mentioned the film Moonlight, which we'd both just seen at that point.

That was very good and won lots of Oscars last year, of course. But then she talked about a slightly less well-known film that both of us really loved, a kind of a hidden gem. I think more people know about it now, but anyway, you'll find out. And we talked about a few of the simple things that make life worth living. I'll be back at the end of the podcast for more whiffling and waffling, important news, important news, updates about my exciting life. Wow. I mean, you get to hear a little audio glimpse of myself and some of my friends playing in our midlife crisis band in the barn, as mentioned on the Miranda Sawyer podcast.

I thought you might like to hear what we actually sound like. Anyway, that's at the end. For the time being, we're going to chat to Kathy Burke. So here we are, after the ramble chat jingle, that is, with our herbal tea, discussing my Christmas cold,

which I had at that time. And that took us into a discussion of the TV series, The Crown. So, you know, Christmas, colds, The Crown. I mean, it's all come round again, hasn't it? So despite being recorded in February, let's chew the fat and have a ramble chat. Put on your conversation coat and find your talking hat. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la This tea is nice. How about yours?

It's all right. Yeah, my one's very nice. This is Ruby's Char, Redbush, decaffeinated tea. so people pronounce that word in all sorts of different ways r-o-o-i-b-o-s i've always just called it rubus rubius some people say rubosh rubosh yeah ruibos i used to think it was rubios for ages ages. Anyway. How have you been, Kathy? I've been all right. How have you been? Yeah, not bad.

I had a very protracted cold that I got. I think a lot of people got. Yes. I was joking the other day that I got it off the Queen. Oh, yeah. I was on stage and I suddenly started singing, I kissed the Queen and I liked it. You know that song?

Yeah. And then I carried on like I was just improvising it. And I, instead of saying the taste of cherry chapstick, I said the taste of a corgi chapstick, which is horrible. Yeah. Because, you know, it brings to mind. Lipstick. Well, it brings to mind my little lipstick penises. Exactly.

That dogs possess. That's right. My little lipstick penises. Exactly. That dogs possess. That's right. And so suddenly the audience had this horrible image in their mind, which I didn't want to put in there. But anyway.

And why were you, did you kiss the queen? No, I didn't kiss the queen. But I got, I think, the same sort of cough cold that she had. Other than that, it wasn't too bad. Have you watched The Crown, talking of the queen? I have watched The Crown. How'd you get on with that? Well, I started watching it because I'm a big claire foy fan i didn't know about her before oh she's amazing what had you seen her in before she is amazing wolf hall of

course she was in that she was brilliant in wolf hall yeah and i just think she's amazing so anyway i have to say like the first episode i thought well I'll watch it for her, but I'm not going to get into this. Because what is there not to know? And who cares, ultimately? That's what I thought. Exactly. I don't care at all. I don't care.

And then suddenly I found myself, I've got to watch the next one. Yeah. And it was one of those. I have to say, I thought they were all brilliant. They were so well cast. Like every single thing was amazing. And did you do the thing that I did of looking up the real people as you were watching it? No.

Because I didn't, you know, I know nothing about the royal family. Right. But don't you feel that we've just been drip fed it all our lives? Clearly I resisted all the drips because i kept on asking my wife questions like so are they is is her mum like queen victoria and you know my wife was just rolling her eyes yeah yeah you don't know anything do you i was like no not when it comes to the royal family i really know nothing right anyway apart from claire foy who was very good very early on and who um eventually makes you invest in this character so much yeah that now i'm interested

in the queen every time i see the queen in the paper and stuff i'm thinking about her interior life yes and being so young yeah you. You know, this young woman. And old Queen Mary, brilliantly played by Eileen Atkins, saying to her, the crown always comes first. Which is a pretty hardcore thing to have to take on board. Yeah. But when you look back, now she's 90-odd, it's like, my goodness, that's all she's ever done.

Mm-hmm. And she's been criticised for being that way so much. But she's just sort of stuck to her guns with it. So no, we did. We did enjoy The Crown very much. But for me, it was Claire Foy that totally made it throughout. If I didn't like the actress that played the Queen, I don't think I'd have stuck with it. No, it wouldn't have worked. No.

She was so good. She was magnetic. It was good. I mean, I've never been a royalist. No. I'm still not. I never will be a royalist. But I can't help but admire the old girl.

But it doesn't look like a fun job. No. I wouldn't want to. I mean, would you? No. No. But it was never top of my list. No. But my daughter still, you know, would you? No. No. But it was never top of my list. No.

But my daughter still, you know, she hasn't seen The Crown, but she's a girly girl to the extent that she still thinks it would be a good thing to be a princess. Oh, really? Yeah. To marry a prince. I don't know where it comes from. I mean, I presume it comes from various bits of crap that she watches on TV. And storybooks.

I guess. Yep, yep, yep. They're still full of princesses, aren't they? And you know, what is it for a little girl that they're connecting with the glamour? Is it the power? I don't know.

I think it might be a bit of everything. It's just that you're seen as special, special and beautiful and right. Who everyone is fighting over. Yeah. You know. Fair enough. Unacceptable, incompetent and amateurish.

Buckles, why are you still in your post? Pool pants. I say to you, pool pants, pool pants. I say again, pool pants. Buckles tried to clarify that the language was a requirement, though he didn't sound sure. Pool pants. It's got to be pool pants. Pool pants. Buckles tried to clarify that the language was a requirement, though he didn't sound sure. Pool pants. It's got to be pool pants.

Pool pants. I don't know. Maybe not. So, this is a thing that I often find challenging that I wanted to ask your advice about. What do you do

if a creative friend of yours, right, or not necessarily creative, someone who shows you something that they've made or that they're responsible for and you don't really like it right so first situation is something that's done and dusted so they're not asking you for advice necessarily but they but they do value your opinion and it's not that good right what are you going to do generally what's your policy

well i think constructive criticism you know it's like you know you've got to i don't like being cruel you know so you've just got to tread carefully because if like someone's written a script for instance one can empathize that this is taking them a long bloody time you know what i mean and you don't want to steamroll in there and go well this is crap and that bit's crap and you know so i'll always try and look for the positives first so this is what i liked about it or this is what i loved about it and then i can say and if you don't mind these are the points that I weren't that keen on what if the whole thing is fundamentally flawed well then I just I suppose I would squirm out and just pretend I didn't get around to reading it

right I mean the tricky thing is because what I go to more than anything I suppose is going to the theatre yeah and then when you've got friends that are involved with the piece and you've not liked it that can be quite difficult particularly if they're sort of doing the show for a while you don't want to get into somebody's head yeah too much i've often wondered what that's like though for a performer well this is why you have to believe that a lot of actors don't read reviews yeah because it can bugger it up for them a little bit i'm sure even if it's a good criticism even if they say oh you know sometimes critics go well that bit where he drank the cup of tea that was hilarious and if an actor reads that you can guarantee that it's never hilarious again do you know i mean because you're too you

come out of yourself for a split, you fuck it up, you know? So I always find that a bit tricky. But where I'm now, I'm older, and I'm allowed to be more grumpy and honest, you know, because I very rarely get free tickets for anything. Because another sort of misconception is that actors in plays can get you free tickets. You know, they can't. So because I've paid for my own ticket, I'm a punter.

Yeah. So I'm allowed to express if I didn't like something, you know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was something I saw before Christmas that I didn't like at all. And I had a couple of friends in it, but I thought were great but it wasn't my cup of tea so I said it wasn't my cup of tea you know so that's did you see them that night yeah well one got the ump with me I found out later because I just said to him well done when he came out but that was it and as I said to him, well done when he came out, but that was it. And as I said, you know, to everybody, well done, well done, because they'd all been great, you know?

Yeah. But to me, that isn't good enough, just the actors being great. I want to get something else from it, you know? Definitely. I went to see Nice Fish. I've never heard of that. It's Mark Rylance, and he wrote it with a an american chap wow and it's them ice fishing apparently mark rylance used to live out and where's that on

i've not even heard of this it's on at the uh harold pinter theater oh right and i never go to the theater right it's just not part see it see I'm meant to be a theatre person like these things pass me by yeah but a friend of mine took me and my wife there we were going to go and see

Book of Mormon but my friends had seen it already oh I want to see it though have you never seen it no but why didn't your friends

go again well I think they'd seen it a few times yeah I've seen it four times right right yeah and they said let's go and see this it's supposed to be really good okay and it was good it was good i mean i for the first 20 minutes i was just i got the glasses out of the seat in front and i was eyeballing mark rylance and that was quite exciting you know he's magnetic as well yeah he was pretty good and it was a nice clever set of an expanse of ice that was cleverly foreshortened.

Nice perspective trick going on. So it looked like it went on for miles. But I just thought, I always think with everything, like, just chop half an hour out. Yeah. Why do you have to hit 90 minutes? You know what I mean? Or any longer than 90 minutes. Yeah.

But some plays you do want to be longer. Yeah, do you? I saw... I can't conceive of that. I saw a great play at the Donmar. This was like last November or something called One Night in Miami. And that would be your perfect play because it was straight through, no interval, an hour and 15 minutes, something like that. Love it.

Five stars. But I wanted an interval and I wanted to go back and for there to be more because it was pitch perfect. The actors were brilliant. The script was fantastic. It was directed beautifully. It was great storytelling. what was it about then it was just in a hotel room the night before cassius clay announces that he's converted to islam and he's going to be muhammad ali so it was cassius clay sam cook and malcolm x Sam Cooke and Malcolm X and an American football player called Joe somebody or other and then

two of Malcolm X's security guys right who were outside the hotel room but came in every now and then and it was fantastic and is it based on any kind of truth at all? Yeah, I think it is. Oh, really? Yeah. So it wasn't just a sort of fantasy? No, no, no, no. And I feel out of order because I can't remember the name of the writer. I just can't.

So I'm not going to pretend or say, stop, and then I'll... There's Google. But it was just magnificent. Particularly the guy, I mean, I love them all, but the guy playing muhammad ali it was just wonderful because again a bit like the crown you're reminded oh my god he was a baby he was 22 he was 22 when he switched his name yeah 22 23 something like that well that's when the play was set i might listen we've got to be careful because people will be screaming at you.

Well, luckily I've got Fact-Checking Santa that pops into the podcast every now and again and provides corrections when we go to a riot. Fact-Checking Santa here. One Night in Miami was written by Kemp Powers and is a dramatisation of a momentous meeting between Cassius Clay, a.k.a. Muhammad Ali, Malcolm X, Sam Cooke and footballer Jim Brown that took place in February 1964 when Muhammad Ali was just 22 years old.

Mary John Lewis advert. It was beautiful. See, and then when you see a play like that, and it's the same with, like, you mentioned the Book of Mormon, you know? Like, Book of Mormon is a ridiculously expensive show to go and see. I would tell people to save their money to see Book of Mormon and not see anything else for the rest of the year because it's just literally like

one of the best things I've ever seen oh man I really want to see that you've got to now I'd like to go to the theater more but you just have to be careful because if it's not for you it really can just be horrendous if you're not enjoying something like worse than the pictures somehow yeah because the other thing about a live thing like that is that people feel as if they need to react a bit more than you would in a cinema you can sit there sort of comatose and still take the thing but people feel as if they should respond and laugh and sometimes they laugh at jokes that don't seem that funny. Yeah.

You know, that kind of thing. Everything is heightened. Yes. Have you ever then fallen out with someone over the feedback you've given them after a piece of work they've done? I don't know. I don't think so.

Although, well, this chap I was sort of talking about who got offended that i didn't say anything more apparently he's he's not very happy with me at the moment so he didn't tell you on the night though did he he didn't say like no he didn't and then and then i just said well done well done and then he sort of scurried off to talk to somebody far more important so that's not my fault the queen the queen but no he saw a friend of mine at a party so i thought it was pathetic that kathy didn't say anything really that seems that's a bold move to chastise because that must happen to everyone you can tell when friends of yours you can you suspect like i didn't really like it but i'm not gonna i'm not gonna push it you know yeah because i've got to just

suck that up yeah and it's not on me to say come on say what you really thought yeah because it's not fair is it you're putting that and also i didn't get given an opportunity uh-huh you know he sort of scurried off to talk to somebody else. And then I saw him again a bit later as he was leaving. And I just said, oh, you must be tired. Because, you know, he was doing a lot of acting. Yeah. So, you know, running around. Which was very impressive.

In his mind, that sounded like, you must be tired from being so mediocre. Probably it did sound like that. But maybe he's just a bit spoiled. Because I think he's used to people going that was brilliant right and you were brilliant and i do know people that can look somebody right in the eye and say oh my god you were brilliant and then afterwards say what a load of fucking shit now i i sort of can't do that, you know. I wish I could. Yeah.

But it does make me really laugh. I've got this particular friend who's just magnificent, you know. That's a good superpower. It's a brilliant superpower. Intense insincerity. Yeah. Super convincing insincerity. Yeah, yeah.

I'd watch that Marvel movie. Yes. now did you have any cringy memories that you're able to share oh well yeah i mean i was thinking about all my cringy sort of memories are all to do with love and all that business so i'm not really up for sharing sure any of that i tell you what, I was reminded of this the other day, because one of the young people in my life, Georgie, who's 18, is very, very good at drumming. And I went up and saw her the other day, and she was with her mate, Agnes, and they're brilliant, these girls. They're so cool, you know. So anyway, so we were chatting away about her drumming skills. And it reminded me of the very first job I did I think I talked to you about this before but anyway the very first job I did was a film called Scrubbers

sure and in the movie at one point there was um like a concert and I back then was 17 and I fancied myself as a bit of a drummer you see even though I never owned a drum kit but I liked to sort of because I had some sticks and just when I was listening to music in my room I just used to like banging along yeah you're thinking I've got a lot of rhythm yeah I can do this I can do this so I said to the director oh if I had a big saucepan i could do like a drum run with my hands i could and it was like yeah yeah that's what you do you know so sort of practicing it and then action and then we did a take and i was very happy with myself and then the director my zetling said okay i'd like a close-up of your hands kathy on on the saucepan so okay so he was setting up

to do a close-up and one of the producers who to me was just some old bald bloke yeah came over to me and said hey kathy if you um flatten your hands more like this yeah they'll be looser and therefore you'll get more of a... And I went, yeah, all right, all right, Ray. I know, yeah, thanks, mate. Like, old man, you know what I mean? I think you'll find only one with natural rhythm. Absolutely. I said, yeah, yeah, I know what I'm doing, you know. So anyway, off he went.

Anyway, it was long after I finished the job. Like, one of our producers was George Harrison oh right so we got to meet George Harrison so I knew who he was yeah but the other producer who tried to show me how to drum was a guy called Ray Cooper who's basically the top percussionist in the country and how I realized who he was was seeing footage of Elton John in concert. And the guy on the biggest, hugest percussion equipment that you have ever seen in your life was there, was old, bald Ray, you know, banging away, playing to thousands of people.

Right. And I mean, I was bright red on my own, like so embarrassed, you know. Yeah. But he obviously, he probably found it really amusing do you know what i mean i was like yeah yeah all right yeah i know what i'm doing good for him to just be confident enough to let you go on with it oh absolutely and he wasn't old then actually he was probably only late 30s or whatever. But when you're 17, that is very old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, indeed.

So, yes, but I just remembered that. What was George Harrison like? Oh, my goodness. Oh, he was beautiful. So, yes, that was very exciting that his night, he was a producer. Was it handmade films? Yes, it was. see yes and we had a week's rehearsal and my zettling told us on thursday george harrison will be coming tomorrow and you knew who he was of course my god i grew up with the beatles two big brothers right of

course my god i loved him loved him so this was all very exciting and there he was and he turned up just looking very ordinary pair of corduroys on and little jacket and lovely long hair and mind settling wanted to make sure we all got to say hello to him so he was sort of we were sort of in a line to go up and greet him and shake his hand and he was very shy so he was saying something to everybody and i said what's he saying as we approached and you just see this so i thought what's he? And then when it gets to me, he shook my hand and he went, I feel like Prince Charles. It's just beautiful. It's my tablets.

So yeah, we all got to say hello. It was just lovely. So I've met two Beatles. No. Yes, two. The other one being Macca. Is it? The other one being Macca. Yes. other one being maca yes because i remember i

did when i was first on twitter i did a bit of a mean joke which a lot of people didn't like because i said that one of the great things about me is that i've met two of the beatles and a really really great thing about me is that neither of them was ringo which is out of order but it made me laugh but yes i met maca a few years ago i got very poorly i got very very sick and um you had mrsa no i had c difficile c difficile which is the one everyone dies from you see so anyway so um i i was sort of spending a lot of time in recovery and being bored and meeting friends for lunch, you know, and early lunches, you know. And of course, because I'm a smoker, I sit outside cafes. So anyway, I remember I was with my friend Tom, I think, and we were sat outside a cafe, which I don't think is there anymore which is such a shame you know on marylebone

high street where the bbc radio would be right next door there was just a greasy spoon calf and it was brilliant and with a great little snug outdoor bit with a canapé, perfect for the smokers. And, oh my goodness, what's his name? Gary Crowley, is it? The DJ Gary? The Crow? Is that his name? Gary Crowley, he talks like that, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He's great, I love him. Yeah, he's lovely. So Gary Crowley was there. Hello, Kev, nice to see you and all this business. Yeah, he's really sort of enthusiastic, isn't he? Yes, yes. Lovely. Yeah.

And then across the road, directly across the road from this cafe, is a rather posh cashmere shop. And Paul McCartney comes out of this cashmere shop. So I went, oh, look, there's Paul McCartney. I always wondered who could afford to buy jumpers from that shop yeah crownly midget goes paul paul and i'm mortified and i'm like god anyway oh waved came over hello how you go hello and he went this is tom introduced it and he went, this is Tom, introduce him. Hello. And he pointed at me and went,

you're still smoking. I mean, I was thrilled. You know what I mean? It was such an amazing little moment. And he said about, he was doing some concert that night or whatever. And he said,

yeah, yeah, yeah, I got the new album, you know, but I got to do a couple of the old ones. It was, you know, to get the rage. It's just divine.

So very brief encounters. But that's great, though, because you don't humiliate yourself, and also, as you say, you get a sense that you exist in his world. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. I mean, he told me off, you know, but it was great. He told off by one of the Beatles. Yeah, mate. I mean, he told me off. Yeah, yes. But it was great. He told off by one of the beachers.

Sure. Yeah, mate. I'm just taking my... See, now these tablets, these are the result of having C. difficile. How did you get that then? Because I had a major stomach operation. So it is one of those MRSA type bugs. It is.

It is. And I just got an infection. So this is quite a few years ago because now you know all the hospitals you couldn't imagine them not having those hand sanitizers you didn't have all those even back then and i got like really sick really sick death's door nearly died about four times you know my blood started clotting and it was sort of pretty horrendous really how long did it did the really bad part of it go on for from from contracting it to oh well the bug itself that sort of lasted about two weeks the intense like having the bug and how did that feel like were you sort of delirious with fever or?

Yeah, I was definitely delirious a couple of times. It was just horrible. Just totally weak and. Weak and just puking and shitting everywhere. Right. You know, constantly. I mean, constantly. Yeah.

It was really hardcore. Oh, man. And I, you know, fucking hell, I lost about like three and a half stone. And I, you know, fucking hell, I lost about like three and a half stone. Like, you know, in those two weeks, it was just sucked all the life out of me, you know. And then recovering from it was pretty tough. Because then I was getting, because they didn't know I've sort of got a lot of stuff wrong with me. You know, it took sort of getting something like that for me to then be properly looked at and and there was all sorts of other going things going on with me you know um which made me susceptible to it as well yeah but what was my saving grace was being overweight

because if i wasn't overweight i'd have died because everything I would have lost yeah exactly and the other thing that saved me was being a vegetarian right you know since I was 18 I've just sort of lived on spinach and broccoli and they're great cleaners of the blood that's why my bowel wasn't fucked up which it could have been or should have been you know if you've been a meat eater yeah right oh my god were you i mean no one likes getting ill but then if you get seriously ill the thing that i do right which i guess the cliche is that a lot of men are like this, hypochondriacs, and when they get the slightest thing wrong, they start fantasizing about what else it is. This isn't a cold.

You know, this is the beginning of something way more serious. Were you like that before you got that? Or were you always fairly level-headed about your health? So level-headed. I never went to the doctor. In fact, because originally i had to go in for this stomach operation because i'd let something go on for too long you know i was in pain for quite a while for a couple of years in fact and do you think that's because you were the

sort of person that didn't want to go to the doctor because you were frightened of what they might find? It was a bit of that and a bit of being a workaholic. And I was on a bit of a role as a theatre director. And I had a great job coming up at the Almeida Theatre and I knew I didn't feel right. I just didn't not want to do that job, which I ended up not doing anyway. I mean, I cast it and everything and got the design team together,

but I never actually got to the rehearsal room. So yes, and also because it was in my stomach, I've got something called diverticulitis. My dad had that, yeah. Which is hereditary as well. I look forward to it. Yeah, and I'd never heard of. And I'd never heard of it. Yeah.

I'd never heard of it. I was ignoring these stomach pains because I just assumed I had cancer. Because my mum died from stomach cancer. Right. So I was a bit, oh, fuck it. I don't, this is obviously it. She died at the age of 36. Oh, really?

And I was, I think I was around that age, maybe a little bit older. Were you not panicking a little bit? Not panicking? No, I'm not a panicker. I mean, even all the time I was in the hospital with the C. diff and being told you might die in the night and all this, my blood pressure never went up. I don't see the point in panicking you know so i just thought fuck it i'll just die in the night i'm not going they're not going to cut me out and start prodding around because it'll be cancer and then it'll just go

everywhere once it's been poked you know i mean it'll swim to me head and you know i mean so it was just ridiculous anyway and then it was like oh no it's diverticulitis which can be dealt with with antibiotics you know if you get to it quick enough but I hadn't and my poor intestine

was really infected plus a really large cyst was forming you know in my stomach the cysts were doing it for themselves. Yes, mate. Come on. Yeah.

We've got to keep it light though, Adam. Sure. So, yes. So it was a mixture of those two things. And now I look back, like my consultant at the time, brilliant guy called Richard Marley. He was just like, I can't believe that you've been walking around he said anyone else this would have flawed people you know they would have been fainting from the pain but I was just I'm a bit hardy you know but probably a bit too hardy you know it was it was a

bit daft that would never happen again as soon as I feel something's wrong, I do. I go and see the doc and stuff. But it just means, I don't know, it was a long time recovery. And I'm on steroids because one of the things the C. diff did, it was a combination of getting the C. diff and my body overworking. So my adrenal glands got wiped out. They sort of clotted and bled so now i've got something called addison's disease which is you don't have natural adrenaline right so that's why i'm on steroids and it's also sort of contributes to me being a fatty because you know i've been on

them now nearly 10 years and they're not great it messes with your metabolism it really does yeah so what's it like not being able to produce adrenaline does that mean that you're super cool now and that you're you don't get nervous in certain situations or i get nervous in my head but i don't feel physical in my stomach right yeah that doesn't help with being a fatty either because adrenaline helps you burn the energy and all that business so i'm just a sort of blamonde you know but my brain can panic and worry but i just don't feel it i've hosted if i got news for you a couple of times i think you've done that and it's quite a heavy job it's really heavy never again not that they'd ask me oh no i'm never gonna do it again i think i did it twice

maybe three times i was like that's it you know because my head was just fucked but it's a really intense job to do because you've got to control the whole thing and all the rest of it as you know yeah but the very first time i did it know, sort of halfway through the record and the makeup lady comes over and gives everyone a little dab because everyone's sort of sweating and all the rest of it. And she looked at me and she said, God, you've not broken out in a sweat at all. Hmm. And I was just like, yeah, I ain't got no adrenal glands, you know.

So it really helped for that, actually. Right. It was like, well like this is good but in a way I sort of feel a bit nervous energy is a really good thing yeah you know do you think that that's had any impact on your desire to perform live in various arenas whether it's tv film or on the stage I don't know well I've never really thought about doing it, to be honest. I mean, when I used to do theatre acting, I did, I liked the nerves, you know,

that was all part of it. I really like that sort of butterfly feeling, you know? Well, it's a weird thing because sometimes it's fun when you know fundamentally that you can do it. Yeah. But then there are other times when you know fundamentally that you can do it. Yeah. But then there are other times when you're not sure that it's awful. It's like, you just think, I hate this feeling.

I just, why am I doing this? Yeah. Do you ever get that? Like, yeah. Oh, I get all that.

Yeah. I think I've got that the last time I did. If I've got news for you. Right. I just sort of remember halfway through just feeling like I was losing the will to live you know I was like oh god please oh don't do this again

don't do this again oh those panel shows torture What was the last film you really enjoyed? Right. Well, there's two. Uh-huh. One is a film called Moonlight but the other film that has shot straight into my top 10 of all-time favorite films is Hunt for the Wilderpeople I love that film yeah it was a

total surprise yeah how did you uh get turned on to it then well I was meant to go to the pictures to see it I for whatever reason I ended up not going I was poorly or go to the pictures to see it. For whatever reason, I ended up not going. I was poorly or whatever, you know. So, of course, I've got the old Netflix. And then just after Christmas, I saw it pop up. It was there. And I thought, oh, right. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Sunday afternoon or whatever. I'll give this a go. Well, I loved it so much. Like, so much. it made me laugh it made me you know sad and it just had everything and i love that when you watch a film that sort of makes you feel like a kid again you know that you think oh my god if i was nine years old watching this this would be the greatest film i've ever seen in my life. Yeah.

You know, without all the bangs and whistles and special effects and all that sort of stuff. You know, it was like, oh, this is sort of like Kez, you know, what it's doing to me, how it's making me feel. But of course, very beautiful to look at. You know, you've got New Zealand to look at, you know. And I tweeted about it. I've often tweeted about movies and whatever.

The only big reaction I got was like the year before last when I said I'm watching The Danish Girl. It's shit. Because it really was the biggest load of crap I'd ever seen in my life. And that got loads of reactions. Do you know what I mean? Because the majority of people were agreeing with me, you know. And so that was the most I'd ever got. I tweeted about films, you know, here and there.

And people were going, yeah, I like that. Oh, yeah. Well, this, my goodness. I mean, it got like a couple of hundred retweets and like a thousand people liking what I was saying. And so many replies just like, oh my God, I love this film so much. Or then like a couple of days later,

people going, thank you for recommending it. That made me feel so good. And it really is one of those films i put in my tweet look if you're feeling crap hunt for the world of people yeah will make you feel so much better yeah and it's that sort of uplifting thing that it's got it's just people have so taken it to their hearts yeah it was wonderful wasn't it it? Ricky Baker. That's the bit. Happy birthday. That's when you're grabbed. Yeah.

And it's suddenly... When he's singing along to his birthday song. I recommended it to my son. How old? He's 12. Yeah. And he takes a kind of perverse pride. You know, he's in the process now of establishing who he is, what he's into, what he's not into. And part of that is happening kind of in direct opposition to his brother, as is often the way within families.

And it's very hard to know what he's into. Like, his brother's into sort of indie pop, a lot of the same stuff that I am. So that's easy for me to recommend stuff. But it's much harder with Nat. But I suggested he had some mates coming around and I said you could watch Hunt for the World of People and I was thinking is it going to be too indie and silly and weird you know because he takes the mick out of some of the music I listen to right if it's anything that sounds jangly and guitar-y and left field, he goes, oh, God, it's the Boring Boys.

That's his kind of catch-all name for all indie bands. This is the Boring Boys, Dad. Oh, I was like, why don't you like this? It's fun. It's like, oh, it's just hippie, folky music. And it's like, no, you know, I'll be listening to The Fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, oh, I hate this hippie folk music.

This is not hippie folk music. This is edgy indie genius. The Boring Boys. But anyway, long story short, loved it. Loved Hunt for the Wilderpeople. And it went down really well with him and his mates. I felt great. Oh, that's wonderful.

Because I only watched Hunt for the Wilderpeople again the other day. Because my friend Sean was over from France. How was it second time? Fantastic. Still good. Although it's weird, isn't it? Because when you've loved a film so much, you sort of can't help, you're always sort of taking a little cyber glance at the other person

to see if they're into it, if they're getting it. Yeah. And I did say to Sean, because he can be quite honest, you know, I said, look, if you're not feeling it, if you don't like it, just say quickly, don't sit through it. If you're not, and then turn around to me at the end to go,

well, I didn't, I don't get it. Yeah. Because I said that I'm not interested. Just stop it. So I can watch it again in a joyous atmosphere. Yeah.

Cause you can, you can overhype stuff, can't you? We've probably, we've probably overhyped it now. But yes, it's like playing a piece of music for someone and staring at them while they're listening to it. Yeah, yeah.

What do you think? What about that? This bit, this bit, this bit coming up. It's an environment that's almost guaranteed to reduce their enjoyment of the thing. But no, I would say, yeah, that most people will get something out of that one. And he did absolutely.

Oh, he liked it. Oh my God. Yeah. ស្រូវាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រ Attention. What always lifts your spirits? For example, one of my things is taking a pee outdoors at night beneath the starry sky. Well, I can't relate to that one, you see. Because ladies...

Sounds lovely. I mean, I can't relate to that one, you see. Because ladies... Sounds lovely. I mean, I envy it. Yeah, why don't ladies want to pop out for a pee at night under a starry sky? Because it's a big palaver, Sam. Is it? Yeah. I thought it was less of a palaver than we were led to believe. So you're not one of these ladies that can stand upright and go in a urinal.

No, darling, I'm not one of those ladies have you ever seen that yes that was in a film wasn't it that was in the full monty was it yeah that was in the full monty yes no i can't do that and i've never attempted it i've never tried oh well you're missing out that's one of the fun things about having a mail appendage. Receiving packages? Yes, I do like receiving packages. I'm a big fan of the old online shopping. I mean, unless you're a target for terrorism,

I would say that receiving packages has got to be universally enjoyable. I think so. Or unless you become involved in some sort of scandal and people are sending you turds and things. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Can you imagine? Yeah. Let's not encourage that idea. That would be awful though, wouldn't it?

Because that plays upon the fact, I think, that people generally do like receiving packages. Yes. So it's like the most cruel thing you could do is suddenly say okay now i'm going to send you a turd what are some of yours hit me with one of yours so a very simple one is do you like fish do you eat fish i love fish i love it when i've fried a piece of fish and i have got the skin brilliantly crispy and not overcooked the flesh. And the combination of the, because you can't eat the skin unless it's crispy,

you know? Yeah. Well, I can't. And that is just so satisfying when I get it right. And also the same with a poached egg, basically. Poaching an egg where it's perfection. Yeah.

Where the white is cooked. What's your technique? Garth Jennings, my friend, taught me years ago the technique for a perfect boiled egg. Boiled or poached? Boiled, this is. Right. So his technique, to get it absolutely right, is you've got the water boiling already. Yep. You put the egg the water boiling already. Yep.

You put the egg in for six minutes. Okay. And then after six minutes, you take it off the boil. Yeah. Leave it in there for a further one minute. Right. Take it out. It's perfect.

Yeah. Six minutes sounds like a long time. It does. But. But it's going in as the water's boiling. going as the water's boiling so i always do that i always boil the water then put it in with a boiled egg and i probably do about five minutes but then what i do which some people find a bit controversial but i did tweet it and some people have started doing their boiled eggs just like this yeah what i do which i suppose is a bit of the equivalent of taking it

off the heat for one minute i immediately run it under the cold tap and take the shell off i take the whole shell off and then put it to the side so when my toast is done i just split the egg two pieces of toast half an egg on one side half the boiled egg on the other i hate all this soldiers fucking about you get bits of shell it's ridiculous so i don't do that and you get this perfectly cooked where the yolk is just this is on your this is a boiled egg this is a boiled egg five minutes that's what you said six yeah but is it not just totally runny no five minutes no maybe you're using smaller eggs i was just about to say it depends on the size of the egg if i had a big egg i'd give it longer okay because i don't like a really soft egg i don't know too soft too runny

is no good. No, I really don't. Also, it's unwieldy on the toast. You're going to just end up with yolk everywhere. Everywhere. So, no, that's a little bit of salt and pepper. Yes, sir. How about brown sauce?

No, never. Oh, why? What's your problem? I'm not into sauce. I don't have brown sauce. I don't have ketchup. My son reached for the ketchup the other day when we were having a curry. No.

Yes. And I didn't want to be, because I remember my dad saying, no, wait. No, put that away. No, you're not having ketchup. But if it was certain foods, you know. And he complained about the amount of ketchup we had anyway. But my wife, my wife, her dad has always been a ketchup fan. And he's quite stentorian in most other ways

you know old school upper class pillar of the uh community but for some reason he's got it in his head that ketchup's all right right right i don't know why it doesn't chime with anything else that he's like you know oh it's jolly good. There's a lot more tomatoes in it than people imagine. I was just about to say, it is tomatoes at the end of the day. It is tomatoes but it's also a lot of sugar. Sugar and vinegar. I think. I'm such a moron about food. What's the best meal you ever had?

Oh my god. Oh god. I've had loads of brilliant meals. I can remember when I still ate meat. So this is going back a long time ago. My friend Ian, I don't know what it was, but it was like a chicken pasta dish that he baked in the oven. And I remember that it was just glorious.

And then funny enough, not long after that i stopped eating meat you know it was sort of so i'll always remember that i'll always remember my auntie joan sausage and chips that she used to make you know homemade chips and the sausages i think she cooked the sausages in like the fryer with the chips you know oh god it was just delicious i can still remember that because it's very rare that i really enjoy a meal in a restaurant so there's sort of a place that i won't mention it but there is a sort of posh place that i like to go to now and it is mainly because i've always had a great meal there. I really like the food.

And do you have different stuff when you go there or do you stick to the same dish? Sometimes I stick to the same. And then I get really discombobulated when they change the menu. And it's like, oh, fuck, where's this gone? I know. I'm such an unimaginative person sometimes. Well, it's that thing of, especially if you're paying a lot of money for a meal, you want to make sure, I don't really like to experiment too much, you know.

You want that guaranteed, oh, I want it to be like last time. Yes. And food is one of those things that you actually, you can sometimes recreate the joy of an initial experience that you've had. You can't really do that with any other, in any other medium any other medium no no it's never the same again no with food it sometimes is yeah i was on this job a few years ago so anyway i stopped eating meat when i was about 18 19 i think and i i sort of never ate fish i tried it when i was a kid but but I was one of those kids, I don't like fish, I don't eat fish, I don't like it. So that was always the way. But after a few years of not eating meat,

so the only protein I was probably getting was from eggs, you know, and I was doing a really heavy job. It was very, very gruelling. But anyway, I was on this particular job, you know, I did quite a few heavy grueling jobs in my younger years you know when i had the fucking energy but anyway on this particular job and it was a way out on location and all the rest of it and i was really knackered you know i was really sort of getting pretty exhausted and somebody suggested look you know why don't you eat try some fish eat some fish and i was like oh

i don't really like fish and and they said yeah but the last time you tried it you were a kid you know no kid likes fish and actually if you tried it because the whole reason i stopped eating meat was i just went off it i just couldn't stomach i'd start to throw it up you know i couldn't stomach it anymore yeah so anyway, so where we were working, there was a renowned, fantastic fish and chip place. The best fish and chips in the area. Harry Rams. No, it wasn't Harry Rams. Can you imagine?

Oh, Jesus. No, no. So just a normal fish and chip where you could sit in and eat. And I thought, right, I'm going to go. I'm going to get cod and chips and I thought right I'm gonna go I'm gonna get cod and chips and I need to sort of try at least I'll have the chips if I don't blah blah blah anyway and I was sharing a table with one of the actors and one of the actresses and they were having a bit of a ding dong together you know they were sort of a cut they were now the couple on the job in a way, you know.

So I was sort of sat at the same table as then. And, but what I didn't know was that just before we'd gone into the restaurant, they'd had an angry ding dong. They'd had a bit of a row. And they were very tense with each other. I was oblivious to this. So along comes my fish and chips and I was very much letting them know well this is you know I don't know about this this is a bit of a and they were sort of you know humoring me and going well it's good you're giving it a go and then trying to communicate with each other sorting out whatever it was they've been rowing about so it came and it got put in front of me and we all started to dig in and i tentatively opened up the batter poured some lemon

onto the white flakes and very gently didn't gingerly yeah some all right okay it was like oh okay oh that was oh a bit more and it was like oh my god oh this this is great so i said to the guys i went oh oh and she went yeah good and i went oh my oh well now i think if i can handle this this is going to change my life oh and they were like lovely and they were carrying on eating and chatting to each other so I'd obviously just fell into the land of this meal which was like one of the best teas I'd ever had yeah and would just look at them every now and again oh yeah oh my goodness Oh, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. And it just must have been driving her mad because to me, out of nowhere, I'm like, oh, oh.

And she went, will you shut up about the fucking fish? Just shut up. I was like, oh. Oh. She was genuinely angry. I mean, just, I was driving her insane because I was so unaware

that they were in the middle of a really heavy talk with each other really you know and I was just fucking driving her mad Wait, this is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success. Yes, success.

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Buxton to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain so put the smile of success on your face with squarespace yes continue you. Hey, welcome back, podcats. That was Kathy Burke, of course. Huge thanks to her for her time, her generosity and her general outlook. I would say. She's someone who always cheers me up, makes me feel better about the world. Thank you very much for all your messages and responses to the Adam Buxton app, which has been, well, it was more popular than we expected. So there was a period last week when everything seized up a little bit

and got rather overloaded we're trying to find out the best way to stream files, where to house the files how much space we need how much we need to pay to post the this, the that

that's a learning. That's a learning process. That's a learning process. It's going to take a while for the process to get sorted out but then by the end you'll be happy about it and everyone will be so grateful

for the app which has changed their lives for the better and enabled them to buy t-shirts and listen to jingles. I don't know why I did that voice to talk about the app, but anyway, that's all true. Despite the voice, you know, there's been a few minor teething problems, but everything seems to be functioning more or less within correct parameters. So get on it if you haven't already. The app is free and features a lot of my videos. It's kind of a way to just aggregate some of the things that I've done over the years. Lots of links to my favorite videos on my YouTube channel

that I've done. And you can hear a lot of the jingles from this podcast. And things will be added over the next few weeks and months, bonus bits and pieces that you won't find anywhere else. The Johnny Marr Extra podcast is on there, for example, as we speak. That's free. You can support the app by paying 99 pence to watch a brand new video made by animation genius syriac for my like and subscribe jingle and that goes to help pay for the development and the upkeep of the app etc so really appreciate that and um of course there's the merch oh coming up to christmas so you really should be loading up with t-shirts beautifully designed t-shirts by luke drosden helen green mugs uh beautiful limited edition prints specially designed for the podcats.

Badges, pin badges. You can download EPs with my jingles, a ramble chat ringtone. Songs from back in the day, party pom-pom, royal wedding song. Oh, it's great. So, you know, get on there. Have great, great fun. So in my intro, I referred to the fact that I've been playing some more midlife crisis style rock and roll with my friends in the barn. You may have heard me talking to Miranda Sawyer about this a few weeks back. Well, we had some friends staying last weekend and we all went to watch the fireworks and then decamped to the barn where we had a big...

It was a bit like a music therapy session in some sort of care home. But it was still hugely good fun and then the next day some of us went back in there and started playing taking it a bit more seriously playing numbers through more than once to try and get them better that was my friend Danny on lead guitar and and Vox Garth Jennings, friend of the podcast, he was over. He was playing drums, which he's only been playing for a year or so, but he's perfectly good enough for our purposes. And who else did we have? My friend Dougie Payne was on bass and BVs. And you got Buckles, of course, on course on tambourine bvs and hobnobs bvs are backing vocals

by the way just explaining if you're not part of the industry you're welcome and we played uh we played a good version of i'm straight by the modern lovers that's I'm straight as in sober rather than anything to do with sexuality, by the way. We played a promising but not that good version of Start by The Jam. There was good bits. We played a raggedy version of Alone Again or by Love. Dan was very good at the guitar parts for that, but the rest of us were less good

at supporting him. And we played a bad version of Billie Jean. I'm going to go with bad. We also had to go at the Rolling Stones track the last time. And I recorded a little bit of that on my phone to play to you guys, because in the past, when I've mentioned hanging out and playing with my pals, people have said, oh, what does it sound like? Well, this is, it was fun. And that's the main thing. Rosie, come on, it's getting dark. Let's head back. Oh, here she comes.

The fireblower. Hey, how you doing? Hello, dog, dog. You having fun out there? Yeah. What do you think of the band? The best band in the world, playing the Rolling Stones. Embarrassing.

Can I have a scritch scratch? Scritch scratch? I'm not sure it's appropriate to give you a scritch scratch in the current climate. Hey, it's not cool to equate asking for a scritch scratch with real stories of serious harassment, whether it's for comedic purposes or otherwise. Apologise for the pain you caused. All right, fair point. I apologise. So, do you want a scritch scratch or not? Well, I'm lying on my back with my legs up

and a pleading look in my eye. What do you think? Yeah, that's true, but I am the one that's actually doing your voice. So, you know, I don't want to assume too much here. How about this? Give me a scritch scratch, but don't be a creepy bastard about it. Can you manage that? All right, then. How's this? Give me a scratch, but don't be a creepy bastard about it. Can you manage that? All right, then. How's that? Yes.

All right, let's go home. Thanks very much to Seamus Murphy Mitchell, my production point man, and Matt Lamont for invaluable edit whiz-bottery on this episode. And thanks especially to you for downloading. Hope you enjoyed it. Till next time, we share the same sonic space. Please take very good care of yourself and of those around you.

I love you. Bye! Bye. ស្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប� Thank you.