THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.61 - ROMESH RANGANATHAN

Episode Date: December 16, 2017

Adam talks to British stand up comedian Romesh Ranganathan about life in Los Angeles, race and diversity in comedy (funnier than that sounds) dealing with negative criticism (a favourite topic!) and the delicate business of exploiting your family for entertainment purposes. There’s also some freestyle rapping that should provoke some considerable insecurity for the so called giants of the hip hop community. Adam Buxton’s Old Bits DVD is out now from gofasterstripe.comThanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support. Music & jingles by Adam Buxton Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Right. I'm going to put my boots on. My walking boots. Oh, this year's. That was very fast, Rosie. We hadn't been for a walk for a couple of days because it was so grim yesterday. Pouring with rain. And there's still a bit of snow on the ground today you up for a frosty walk what do you think stupid i added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening i took my microphone and found some human folk then i recorded all the noises while we spoke my name is adam buxton i'm a man i want you to enjoy this that's the plan

That's the plan. Woo! Out in the fields now. On a beautiful day. The sun is shining very brightly. The sky is very blue. Some scattered cloud over there on the horizon. Everything's looking very vivid and intense.

I'd say the resolution out here is probably 4k or even higher. But it's cold. Whoa, it's still very bitey. And there's still frost on the ground and the remnants of a bit of snow that fell earlier in the week. Coming up to a big puddle. Oh, it's still frozen. Nice. All right, celebrity impression. Who am I? Frozen. Nice. All right, celebrity impression. Who am I? Balls. I just trod right in it.

I'm Yoko Ono. A little music joke there for you. Okay, let me tell you about podcast number 61, which features a very enjoyable ramble with British comedian and actor Romesh Ranganathan. Here's some Rom facts for you. Romesh was raised in Crawley, West Sussex. He is of Sri Lankan Tamil descent. He is a vegan. He was raised a Hindu. He supports the Arsenal football gang. Before going professional as a comedian in 2012, Ramesh was a maths teacher. He is now married to Lisa,

a woman, with whom he has three children. There you go, some Rom facts for you. As you'll hear, I met Ramesh a few years back now, when he was just starting out in comedy. And I enjoyed meeting him very much and always liked bumping into him. And I've been trying to get him on the podcast for quite a while, but he's a hard guy to pin down. If he's not doing stand-up, he's on a TV panel show, or he's filming his bbc program asian provocateur in which he explored his roots and

goofed around in sri lanka for series one and then he hung out with members of his extended family who had settled in the us uh and did more goofing around for series two and he does a podcast called hip-hop saved my life which is fun whether or not you like hip hop. I recommend the Frankie Boyle episode. I've been a guest on Hip Hop Saved My Life. We actually had to record that one down the line because we were in different countries at the time. And I suppose we could have used Skype or something similar to record an episode of this podcast. But I always prefer to do these in person

whenever I can it's always more fun in the end it took my recent trip to Los Angeles to get some Romesh room time he's been out in LA for a few months now and as I speak his stand-up show at the Greek Theatre is just a few days away on December the 21st, 2017. So why would a British stand-up, virtually unknown in the US, book himself a gig at a legendary Los Angeles venue that holds nearly 6,000 people? Romesh explains in our conversation. We also talked more generally about life in LA,

including drive-thrus, chillies and doobies, and we had a surprisingly chucklesome discussion about the issue of race and diversity in entertainment. Well, comedy particularly, I suppose, with reference to an episode of Aziz Ansari's

multi-award winning show, Master of None. I'm sure a lot of you are already familiar with that programme and like it a lot. I only came to it recently. In fact, while I was in LA, I watched my first episodes of Master of None, only two years late to the party, and I really liked it. two years late to the party, and I really liked it. I also talked with Ramesh about the delicate business of working with slash exploiting members of your family for entertainment purposes, something we've both done in our lives. And at the very end, you'll be glad to hear, we did some freestyle rapping,

which I personally, although I was not great at it, enjoyed very much. Our conversation took place in the tiny Airbnb room that I was renting in LA's Franklin Village district and after having done the bug Bowie special the night before and feeling a little bit frazzled and just generally a bit homesick. It was really such a treat to see Ramesh and hang out for a while and just laugh quite a lot. So I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Here we go! Let's have a ramble chat We'll focus first on this Then concentrate on that Come on, let's chew the fat And have a ramble chat

Put on your conversation coat And find your talking hat La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la La, la, la, la, la, la What are you doing out here in LA then? I'm basically trying to just do comedy out here. I say I'm making a documentary. I say I'm making a documentary because I'm the subject of the documentary.

Of them following me while I'm over here. And I've booked a show at the Greek theatre. And then this show is sort of following me trying to sell it. How many people are you getting in the Greek then? 5,900. Fuck. And I am on 145. I think that's what it was.

That's what it was the last time I checked. Is the point of the documentary to sort of, are they hoping that you're going to fail? I don't think they're hoping for anything. I think they're just sort of... Just want to see what happens. Just see what happens. So if something happened that triggered 5,700

or however many people buying the remaining tickets, that would still be fine. Obviously, it would be great for me. I think they just want to see what happens. Is it the same people that you do Asian Provocateur with? It's American production company, but the director is the same guy, Ben Green. Okay.

What's the schedule like then? How do they work out what they're going to film and what they don't? They just sort of decide if what I'm doing is interesting i guess do you mean so um can't believe they're not filming this i mean i know i know i did say i did tell them i was doing this and they said no we're not going to roll on that i don't know i don't know why but yeah so there is loads of stuff that isn't so for example they've not come to any of my gigs or anything i mean they did first week i was here i was trying to get stage time and they covered a little bit of that

but like i'm gigging constantly but they're just like who the hell wants to see somebody going to a gig how many gigs are you doing a week then not that many really i mean like since i've been here i've been here since what you just said you were gigging constantly now it's gone down to not that well not as many as i'd like i've been doing like maybe one or two a week right okay but i'd like to i don't know what you're like but i like to gig all the time like when i'm in the uk i try and gig like three or four times a week if i can it's so different for me because i'm i've got all my technical stuff that i right right yeah so it's not practical there are only certain venues that i can do yeah but you're out here with your family yes lisa and the kids are here yeah so that's an

extra level of yeah yeah it's very complicated because my mum's out here as well right my uncle's over here just visiting but we're all living in the same house so do they film that stuff as well sometimes yeah I've not seen my wife and my mum being this close quarters for this extended amount of time ever in my life so it's been interesting like my mum has got very definite opinions on how to bring up children so she likes to express yeah she likes to tell lisa where she thinks she might be going wrong do you mean or she likes to tell lisa when the kids are hungry that's one of her favorite things yeah i think he's hungry. He's scratching. Darling, I don't want to...

I think he might be hungry. He's scratching his head. Do you know what I mean? Like, sort of. But they seem to be getting on. So it's been fun. I sort of... I don't know what I think of LA, really.

It's nice. It's also spread out and just sort of... Do you drive? I've rented a car, but I've rented, like, i rented like a suburban have you seen this it's massive it's much bigger than any car i'd seen i just said to them i need a family car i've got three kids and they gave me this thing and like second day i crashed it into a mcdonald's drive-thru like i don't i can't get my head around the size of the car so it was mad it's like it's m like this McDonald's on Sunset Boulevard. And so you sort of go in and I pulled up alongside this,

the woman working there. She took the order and then as I pulled away, I just heard this bang and this sort of screech of metal. And then I reversed and then went forward and did it again. Almost exactly the same noise

and vibration on the vehicle. But the thing that sort of shot me the most is I looked to the woman working there, and she had no, there was no reaction. And I think it's because that just must happen to every single customer. She sees it all the time, yeah. What was the damage like? Like the passenger side wing is all like dented and crushed, and it's got like McDonald's red down it.

I haven't told i haven't um mcdonald's red i haven't told the rental company i'm just going to deal with that when i return it yeah but i really freaked out like i was like this is a rental car second day of having it and i've smeared it against mcdonald's i was in a really bad way yeah and so much so that like we'd ordered the kids like chicken nugget meals and Lisa had ordered a drink. And I just said, we haven't got time to get a drink, I just need to get out of here. And just sort of abandoned the order halfway through

because I just didn't want to be anywhere near the McDonald's. I really like this horrible sort of thing where you calm down where you sort of realise what's going on. But Lisa knows how to deal with it, like I'm a nightmare in those situations so she's calming down and talking to me like i'm a child and then there's a moment a really horrible minute or so where you've calmed down and sort of become rational and she's still talking to you like you're and you sort of go oh god this is how you have to talk to me because

i'm such a prick i'm a big baby man yeah exactly what else about la how else what stuff do you enjoy first of all so we don't just like shit on la yeah that's true well i like the fact that there are what i'm vegan and whenever i say that i feel like there's somebody going i thought he'd mention it but la is great for vegan is it yeah yeah like the rest there's loads of vegan restaurants and there's loads of vegan stuff in the supermarkets yeah and there is like i never thought i'd see this but there is a vegan cheese store i mean i haven't been there yet but there's like a shop exclusively selling vegan cheese i don't know how it stays open but it exists i've not been there but i like knowing it's there have you tried vegan cheese before no i don't like cheese

well you'll like vegan cheese and he says nothing like it i mean it's i think most of it is made of cashews oh yeah right so they sort of mush it up and treat it and ferment it and stuff like that what's your favorite uh vegan meal at the moment um what's the one that you look forward to if it's party night my mum does a great uh aubergine curry which is delightful and then she'll watch me eat it and tell me how i shouldn't eat too much of it okay she'll just so she'll sit there hovering while later and say you should just moderation so you can't it does taste nice but you can't fully enjoy the meal do you know i mean um i also in my pre-vegan days i have this these like yogurt soaked chilies have you tried these before so there's yogurt soaked chilies

and then they deep fry them i can't have them now obviously because they're not vegan but one in every six was so hot that you'd have to declare yourself out of the meal. Do you know what I mean? So it was sort of like roulette. I used to love that game. Do you know what I mean? When am I going to have to put my plate down and just leave for a bit? Do you drink booze?

I do, yeah. Yeah, okay. So you can wash that down with some beer or whatever. Yes, yeah. I remember when I first started doing stand-up. I wasn't vegan then, but there was a gig a mate of mine got at a chilli festival in Brighton,

and for some reason they had decided to put comedy on while that was going on. What's your tolerance like for hot food? Medium. Right. So I did this gig, and it went as well as you can expect to a bunch of people that didn't come for comedy.

They came to buy some like jalapeno cheese or whatever. Anyway, it's not jalapeno, is it? Jalapeno. That's it, jalapeno. So anyway, so my friend said to me after I'd done the gig and died on my ass, he said, there is a spare open spot in the chili eating competition, right? Do you want to do it? So I said, yeah, I'll give it a go.

I'll be honest with you. I was a little bit cocky. I thought Sri Lankan upbringing is a bunch of white guys. I think this is going to be all right. So I was sort of sat there. And they brought out the first chilli. And I ate it. And it was fine.

Second one, ate it, fine. And at this point, I was thinking, this is going to be great. I can't. This is so good. And then it got to the chocolate habanero I remember it and the guy next to me went this is the first actual proper chilli and I thought

oh no I thought I'd been doing really well but these are just entry level chillies so they put it on my table and I bit into it and I have never in my life experienced heat like it felt like do you know in Back to the Future where they have the fire trail after the,

that's what it felt like was happening in my system. Like it just, from my mouth right the way down to my stomach, I just felt fire. And so I immediately drunk the milk and then I turned to my left and there was a guy on all fours just heaving. Like it was absolute, and like he wasn't the only one there was like a few of those people and i just thought why didn't i look around before i like it was

it was like people like looked like it genuinely looked like they were dying yeah um anyway down milk down milk down milk all the way home down milk down milk down milk and then i mean i'm not going to do this but the next three days were right off and the thing was like my wife had come to this come with me to the thing watch me first of all she didn't think i should be doing a gig at a chili festival so she seen me do that and then the whole time i was on the way back i was going I'm dying I think I'm dying I think I'm dying this is horrible she's going I don't know I don't know what you expect me to say like you took part in a chili eating competition like how can you have expected any other result you're aiming for this can you die from eating too much I think you probably can I think you probably could but yeah I do enjoy that it's addictive I do enjoy it. That's addictive. I do find it really addictive.

Not that, not eating chilies, but spicy food. Right. Yeah, I really find it addictive. I mean, my brother is much worse than me. And the other thing is, there's something macho about not admitting you're finding something hot. I remember we got takeaway and he said, I'm going to get a file, right? It's not that long ago, like a few years ago. And I said to him, well, you know, that's like insanely hot.

And he said, yeah, I know, but it's not. We're Sri Lankans. And we're not Sri Lankans. But anyway, so he ordered the food and he starts eating it. And it's just sweat pouring off of him. And I said to him, it's hot, isn't it? It's really hot. He goes, no, no, it's just sweat pouring off of him and I said to him it's hot isn't it it's really hot he goes no no

it's fine I won't think any less of you if you just admit it's hot he finished it I don't know why he finished it and then he said I'll be back in a minute

and he just sort of went and paced up and down the back garden like for ages and then comes back in and he goes I just wanted a bit of a walk I said it's hot

you just admit that you didn't realise the fire was going to be as hot as it is and he's like no it's fine it's fine I said alright mate

I just don't understand that and are you are you a dope guy a weed smoker man yes I have well I'm not massively but the fact that you can get these pens

like these vape pens it's I mean it's I think it's wonderful I mean everywhere you go in LA you can get these pens like these vape pens it's i mean it's i think it's wonderful i mean everywhere you go in la you can smell strong uh weed yeah because it's legal here if you've got a card all you have to do is go into one of the many shops that there are around which look like apple stores yeah um except that they stink of weed it's about to change isn't it where you don't need the card anymore oh really yeah so you just go in and get it then it isn't society just going to come apart

i think so probably i think for a while it'll be very relaxed because it's already spread very thin the fabric of society yes already threadbare well i think there's i did a lot i think there's one thing about being legal and another thing about just doing it in appropriate places like we went out as a family to like cheesecake factory and there's some guys just sat by the door of that and i just saw it that doesn't seem right you know what i mean we're about to go my kids are about to go and eat lasagna they should like do you know i mean i just don't there's something i don't know i can't get my head around it being okay do you mean it fit to me it feels sordid you know because you grow up hiding in parks or whatever do you know i mean or yeah and so now all of a sudden

you can do it wherever it's weird i still can't get used to it that's right it's as if they discovered that pornography was actually good for you and excellent for everybody who was involved in it. Yeah, exactly. It would just completely change. I know. And then you'd have to go, I think I'm being a bit of a prude. No, I think it's fine for that guy

to be getting double-teamed there just by the burger queue. I don't know. I'm just, they'll call me old-fashioned. It still shocks me a little bit. Hello, my friend. It still shocks me a little bit. Hey, so one of the first times I met you, in fact, maybe the first time was, can you remember? Was it Sweden?

Stockholm. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was you, me and Pat Cahill. Yes. And we had been selected by some... How did we get selected for that? I don't know. I mean, they must have been all fired about a week later.

Because it was these Swedish promoter guys. It must have been the very last thing they ever promoted. That was... I mean, we didn't say it at the time, but that was a failure, wasn't it? It was called the best of the fest this thing right when was it like 2013 or something yeah i think it was yeah but and um yeah i'd done my show colonel panic or something uh in edinburgh that year and you know

it had been a solid three-star run yeah but for some reason i got the call along with you and pat they had seen you me and pat and thought of all of the fest yeah this is the best these are the three we have seen all the fest this is my swedish accent now that's not that's dutch isn't it what's swedish we have seen all the fest this is offensive to the swedes and I'm sorry it's racist. This bit didn't go over, did it, at the gig? No. This is exactly the kind of stuff that they selected me for, though. They love it. Oh, I love the bit where he does the Swedish accent.

It's so funny. We need to get him for best of the fest. So they saw my great, great accents and thought, yes, this is the best. The best of the fest, along with Romesh Ranganathan and Pat Cahill. We have to book them on a tour not just a flying visit but a tour of Sweden yeah I just thought yeah why not if they're stupid enough to get me out there I'll go fine so out we go you me and Pat and it was sort of fun wasn't it and we went out and they put us up in kind of a nice hotel the hotel was nice I remember I wasn't

that solvent at the time and I remember sort of thinking well i bought a packet of crisps or something from the hotel room and that was like eight quid yeah and i remember pat cahill didn't know the exchange rate i went to meet him in the bar at one point he was tucking into dinner i says i don't even know if i can afford dinner and he goes well it's not anything and i go yeah but that's about 30 quid and then i just saw him sort of the colour sort of leave his face and he realised

how much he was famous though yeah because it was actually quite a fancy hotel so I was thinking god this is this is pretty

legit this tour we really are we are the best of the fest here yeah the other I remember being misled as well because like

the venue was really nice wasn't it and it's this beautiful big god it's so nice it looks like kind of uh you know friday night at the london palladium or something yeah it's like the queen sat there you could imagine and so we go along the night of the show first show and we're going into this beautiful theater and he shows us around and it's like whoa this place is big yeah i hope they're gonna fill it you know i remember sort of walking around going god i am maybe my profile is higher than i thought yes it's just great so we go in and we look around he leads us up to the bar area

then do you remember we go up to the bar area on the second floor or something it's like oh this is pretty cool and then he leads us down um this little corridor that's running off the bar area and that's the venue i know and it had two rows of seats going down in two lines so there must have been in total about 40 seats yeah just lined either side of this corridor space i think it it actually was a corridor, but it might have been just a long-term room. No, I think it was a corridor. But I remember, because I didn't, that was the first time we met,

and I knew Pat a little bit. Yeah. But I didn't have the guts to say to you two, you guys know that this has gone badly wrong, right? Like, was this, because I thought, because the thing is, it's very difficult to say oh i thought we're playing the big room you can't say that to teach oh did you mr billy big balls you thought we're playing the massive thing so i was just sort of sat there

going oh cool this is yeah this must be what i was thinking exactly the same i was thinking i want to be a prick and anyway you know i'm i'm glad for whatever I can get. Okay, fair enough. You know, it's a foreign country and I don't play big rooms in the UK anyway. So, all right. Corridor it is. I mean, it is much, much smaller than anywhere I would play. But yeah, okay, it's a different country. So, let's not be a prick about it. And then we do our sound check and everything.

One of the things that stayed with me from that sound check is you had a song that played during your sound check and everything one of the things that stayed with me from that sound check yeah is you had a song that played during your sound check yes i remember it really made me smile because i said to you this is really funny song and then i said to you are you going to do that in the set tonight you went no that's just for the sound check you just made this song just for the sound check i think i have it let's see yeah i have it to test the speakers at a venue and it's just so i can test whether the left and the right speakers are working is it this one and it's got a picture it's got like a test card and then the face man, Dirk Benedict popping up. Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing,

testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing,

testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, I've got to do a new one actually because it does drive people nuts especially because I do I use it at regular shows right right anyway so we we go there we do our sound check and it's got you know it's like a tiny little stage at the end of this corridor and then people start trickling in they didn't fill it but it was nearly it was nearly there yeah I remember like I just had one 20 minute set that I could do at any venue yeah you know because i was doing the clubs at that time but like now if that happened i'd think oh

maybe i should do this stuff or that stuff but then i was just like i mean this is a gear like yeah there's nothing else this is a show guys yeah i can do it 20 minutes or i can do it shorter though that's the end of the options. It's always worrying, though, when you go, is it all right that I don't speak any Swedish? They go, no, it's fine, it's fine. And then the compere doesn't use any English at all.

And it's like a big stitch-up or whatever. And then, long story short, they cancelled the rest of the tour. Yes, they did. We heard the next day that there had been no uptake for tickets elsewhere in sweden it's a problem isn't it because let's be absolutely honest yeah none of us had the greatest time like in terms of gigs yeah so you're sort of thinking well this has been a failure but it's just the rejection isn't it do you mean there's that you

sort of think well maybe we've done enough to get to Malmo, but we hadn't. No. It's sad, isn't it? It is sad. Thank you. Stop it. I had a horrible experience where I was sort of temporarily racist recently, where I was waiting for Lisa and the kids to arrive at LAX, and they were longer than I thought they were going to be and the flight ahead of them was a chinese flight so i stood waiting and then every time like a chinese person would come out as they were like getting off the flight i'd be a little bit disappointed and annoyed that it wasn't lisa and the kids

yeah and just that kept happening just chinese people come out and i was going oh fuck it's not lisa and the kids and then then eventually Lisa and the kids arrived. And then went off. And then, like, maybe an hour later, I saw a Chinese person. I felt that same kind of disappointment and annoyance. And I thought, oh, God, I've trained myself to dislike these people. Pavlovian racism. Wow.

I mean, you talk about race in your sets, right? Yes. Do you talk about it a lot? I used to talk about it more than I do. but I don't really have a rule about it. If I think of a funny thing to say about it, then I will do. And is it generally based on experiences that you've had, or is it just observations that you've made about it? A bit of both, really.

I mean, the truth of it is, it's not like I'm getting racial abuse every day. But if something occurs to me or I see something and I think it's interesting, then I'll mention it or I'll refer to it. But I think it's very difficult for ethnic minority comedians. Not very difficult. The problem you have is, is that as soon as you talk about it, people then accuse you of talking about it all the time. And I remember doing an episode of Mock the Week

and Hugh Dennis made a joke about he said he made a joke about Islam or like the some sort of Isis joke and then it sort of went a bit funny in the room and I said oh the reason is is because I'm sat next to look like a Muslim and I didn't laugh so people are nervous and then I said tell the joke again and I'll laugh it's just a little stupid thing and I laughed and that became a runner like every time anybody did a thing I would laugh

and that all made the edit and then it looked like pretty much everything I'd said on that show and done on that show was to do with race and then when it went out

just like one dimensional at Ramesh Ranga once again I timed how long it took at Ramesh Ranga to mention race it was 1 minute 37 seconds a

new record for him so you just like i mean that's an example but you do get that a lot do you mean like i used to get it more than i do now but it's a difficult one i think you should talk about whatever you want to yeah and i'd like to say that people sort of saying that doesn't affect me at all but it does make me think if i do something does occur to me that's race orientated i will think to myself is this really original enough or interesting enough to justify right do i have an original take exactly exactly yeah have you watched um master of none as yes yeah yeah i only just got around to watching it it's amazing yeah it's really good and it looks incredible as well yeah yeah it's amazingly good. Yeah, it's really good. And it looks incredible as well.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like the perfect show. Yeah. It's so instantly likable, but it deals with a lot of interesting stuff. And about four episodes into the first season, he does an episode called, I think, Indians on TV. Yeah. And so it's an exploration of various expectations that people have of Indian performers.

And he points out one of the running jokes is something that actually never occurred to me is that the actor in Short Circuit or Short Circuit 2 maybe who's playing an Indian character is a white bloke. And they browned him up. I never realized that. It never registered. And of course it is.

It's the guy it's what's his name fisher yeah who used to go out with who was unfaithful to oh i'm gonna have to google it yeah but what do you google cheat it short circuit to i'm going short circuit to i am db i'm not going browned up actors fisher stevens. Fisher Stevens. There he is. But Fisher Stevens used to go out with which famous actor I'm putting. Come on. That should be the first thing that comes up. No one remembers Fisher Stevens.

No disrespect, Fisher. But he was, who was he? He was unfaithful to someone. Oh, Michelle Pfeiffer. Was he? Yes. I mean, this is pretty reductive stuff. You really shouldn't reduce people to who they've been out with and how they're... Well, I think if you've browned up, you deserve to be reductive.

And the other thing is, it wasn't just browned up. I mean, he properly bud-bud- bud bud ding ding his way through that through that performance number 25 do you remember it yeah it was full on man but that was one of the charming things about it for me that's the bit i liked this is the thing because there's a there's a documentary coming out called A Problem With Our Poo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, no, how are we going to go on? We're on poo now.

We can't have any fun. And of course, you think about it for like 30 seconds. You realise it's fucking offensive. And if you did that with a black character, no one would stand for it. But it's a totally different category for Indians. It's really weird. And I don't think it is anymore.

And I think now that people are so much more sensitive about all sorts of things, people do realise like, oh, well, there's no difference you know well actually it's weird though because i do think in america that's the other thing is that race seems to matter it really does it's weird because on the one hand especially somewhere like la big city it's very diverse yeah much more so than a lot of british cities i had um i mean like i gigged i did a gig and the host this is incredible experience i had actually not incredible i again i've totally overstated that interesting where i was doing this gig it's like one of my i think it might be my first gig over here or something and the compere said to me what's your

name i told him and he said i can't say that and i said okay all right it's just too much to remember and then he said i'm just gonna say ramish and i said okay fine yeah and so i go up and do my set and then afterwards i come off and he comments on the fact because i've got this richard pryor tattoo on my arm oh yeah and he commented on it he goes a bit weird him having a richard pryor tattoo i'm thinking about getting me a tattoo of gandhi like as if i can only get tattoos of people that are the same ethnic origin as me hey then he then went on to start ripping out of me for thinking i was as famous as prince and only using one name when it was his refusal to say my second name that was the whole reason was he a black guy yeah yeah yeah it was crazy and like a few weeks later i think i must have been on like this isn't i mean this is a very different

native style of thing but still like left me gobsmacked i was sat with one of the guys from the production company for dinner like he was there with his kids and i was there with uh lisa my kids we're sat there having dinner and this American, older American lady walks past and she walks up to us and she says, I've been watching you guys all evening. And she goes, this is what America's about. You sitting with you and eating together and there's no issue and your children are playing together. And she goes, I was watching and you're laughing at each other and you're just getting on. And she goes is what america's about right and i was like okay cool and then he left and lisa goes isn't that nice i said are you joking

we weren't making a political statement we're just trying the orange chicken or whatever do you mean like yeah that's a kind of daily mail mentality of just patting yourself on the back for not going out and just beating someone up because they're different because i could have killed you yeah exactly hi you know me and my husband were sat over there and we didn't even think about coming over and hurting you or calling the police or anything we didn't even think about it my husband thought about it but he didn't do anything and that's what america's about it's about not sometimes not hurting people when you think that they're foreign and that's why this country's great yeah that was that is now racist of me to put that on the the average nice american but yeah

but she didn't sound like that yeah isn't that mental yeah that's the thing is people's sensitivities are are you know in some ways it's a good thing that people are thinking about it i suppose and recalibrating well that's what lisa said to me because she said to me, listen, I get it. It was clumsy. She goes, but that is progress of a sort. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. That is better than the alternative.

Yes, exactly. So, and I did take her point on that. But for me, I was just like, I just, you know, my argument was it was a weird thing to sort of comment on. But, you know, what she said was like yes but for that lady she's like she's probably walked out there feeling like she's had an epiphany or something yeah yeah like she feels like she's had this magical moment that's a story that's right like yeah so I sort of thought maybe I was being a bit harsh but um it was weird but yeah I do think things are improving definitely yeah gradually and then I think a lot of people feel that,

I mean, do you ever feel that you're sort of being part of some game, some box-ticking game that is being played by executives? I don't feel like that. But I've had experiences where I was doing a gig and the promoter said to me, oh God, you'll never believe this, I nearly put you on in the same section as Paul Sinner and like and I was like okay but Paul Sinner and I are not you know yeah we're nothing alike do you know what I mean like nobody would say that we do the same type of stand-up or whatever and you do I had been earlier

on in my career like pitched ideas to try and increase diversity and so I'd be appearing on something as part of a multicultural cast to push an agenda not an agenda but to try and increase diversity on television and I'm all in favor of that but I always used to think to myself I I'm not trying to be the best Asian comedian I can be I'm trying to be the best comedian I can be and I want to get on these things on the back of merit rather than anything else but that's not to say that maybe somebody somewhere in some room

said oh let's put rubbish on because that'll take a bit and if they did they were probably doing it with the best intentions and I still think that even if it does come down to tokenism you know sometimes that's going to have a long-term beneficial effect and i don't know i mean you know what's the alternative is it if if that is going on is it any worse than the reverse which is just i know

yeah i mean yeah because the thing is the truth is you know people say it should be a meritocracy and it is but that's such a load of i know anyway as if it's a meritocracy there's so many things going on i know because we all know we can all name people that are amazingly talented that don't get on stuff for whatever reason right adam buxton yes exactly right and people say it should be meritocracy whatever but the fact of the matter is the system the system but the way that people have been booked up up to the to a point has not been representative enough so you need to do something about that and something is being done about that and that's great so that is

a positive thing is it it's not perfect it's not ideal but like it is the best that you can do you know you're trying at least something is being done you can't continue going the way that it was going before. So you have to do something. So I'm sort of, I'm in favour of it. But what I would say is, you know, it's not just on screen. Like, I don't think there are enough people of colour, like in production and just like behind, you know,

putting shows together and stuff like that. And it's going to take a long time for that to sort of even itself out. Yeah, but it will, I think. Yeah, I think it will i think yeah i think it will so you do i think you just have to accept that in the short term the the the things that have been put in place will not take the problem away immediately right and we're headed we're headed in the right direction yeah and they might look a bit clunky but yes exactly yeah right we sorted that out god you know what adam buxton and Romesh Ranganathan tackle quite a difficult topic to the ground and kick its head in.

Good. We're halfway through the podcast. I think it's going really great. The conversation's flowing like it would between a geezer and his mate. All right, mate. Hello, geezer. I'm pleased to see you. There's so much chemistry.

It's like a science lab of talking. I'm interested in what you said. Thank you. There's fun chat and there's deep chat. It's like Chris Evans is meeting Stephen Hawking. So how do you respond if a friend of yours gives you a beautiful gift? It's been made for you personally. There's a huge amount of thought has gone into it,

but it's not absolutely your thing, right? You probably aren't going to use it. So if it was like a scented soap that was made in my image, which is very beautiful and nice, but I'm not a fan. What are you going to say? Like, you're a normal person what do you say thank you so much it's lovely yeah exactly well what happened online you wouldn't know online if you were doing it like people do online you would sort of say oh what are you sponsored by some scented soap company is that why you got me this uh i hate these things please don't do that again very disappointing i liked your previous gift quite a lot but this

one was a massive letdown that's what they fucking say you know i do this podcast i'm gonna let it all out go on this podcast right i do it yes of course on the one hand it is to further my own agenda of world domination and self-glorification and i have sponsors and it's all great so yes i do benefit from it but primarily i do it because i like it and it's a free gift for the world because you know I love these listeners and so I am gifting them this podcast and I am wrapping it in beautiful jingle paper and there you go I love you here have a gift that's what this podcast is and most people accept the gift with a great deal of grace and they're very sweet and sometimes they'll get in touch and say that they like it and what it means to them and stuff and I really appreciate it every now and again if it's

not to their taste they say hey thanks so much for the free gift but just to let you know that thing you said there it wasn't it wasn't exactly right if you were to give me another free gift which I'd be very grateful for perhaps you could bear that in mind you know so they say it very nicely no problem but then every now and again you'll get someone who's just like what is this i don't like this this isn't what i want i like the other one that was good but now you're giving me this and it's shit i fucking hate it someone said the other day they tweet you they tweet me yeah and they go um like i did an episode the other day i won't say who it was with but it was someone i really like and i thought it was a fun episode and we were just chatting away and we were drinking tea uh only for like five minutes towards the beginning of their episode

and someone tweets and goes i had to stop listening to that episode after about 10 minutes because i couldn't stand the disgusting sound of you eating grim. I mean, I just think if you've got a complaint, I don't want to hear it. One guy, when I was walking to a gig past a pub, and a guy

said, Rumshrang and Nathan I said yeah and he said I've got to tell you mate drunk history I went yeah and he goes you ruined it

he goes you were just so aggressive he goes I just couldn't watch it he goes I had to tell you and I said to him I would make a

strong and compelling argument that you didn't but thanks anyway it was just crazy man like people they feel like they have to it's and i think it's a combination of things it's podcast and comedy are the worst things to do in terms of people having a go at you about stuff because if people see a drama and they don't think the drama is very good, they go, oh, that drama wasn't really for me. I switched it off. If they see a comedy they don't like, this is a fucking abomination.

Everybody that's involved in it, I hope they die and I hope their families die and I hope they never make another programme again, which obviously would not happen if you're all dead. But it's crazy. The angry reaction is insane. It is weird, isn't it? What could it be?

I mean, I guess it's because when something is funny it's so amazing and it's so wonderful that when it doesn't work your disappointment levels are huge and maybe it's it seems like hubris on the part of the performer that you don't like that they've set themselves up to be i think people sort of think that comedians go around thinking that they're funny yeah it's like i'm funny hey by the way i'm brilliant uh so you should like me and i'm i'm fantastic so you should worship at my altar but no one's thinking that i mean there's one or two but everyone thinks they're wankers most comedians are going around just sort of hoping they can get away with it yeah basically everybody i know is deeply deeply insecure yeah i had a thing where like i went out with some

because i've got a group of friends in crawley that i sort of grew up with but don't often go out with because of whatever jobs and growing up and stuff yeah so every now and again i go out with them the last time i was out with them we're just in a pub having a few drinks and these like guys came up slightly younger guys and were sort of like oh you're romish rang nathan like could we get photos and stuff like that and i said yeah and then they did the same thing like chatted for a while then they said could we join you for the evening like do you mind if we joined you for the night for the night and um i was like in a really because i sort of i i can't be firm like not i just don't want to be rude to anybody yeah exactly of course

so like i just sort of went well because in my head i'm thinking what can i do here either just go guys that's no we're strangers yeah um or i say yes that's fine because i'm trying to be polite and then I have to say to my friends these guys are joining us for the night so I just sort of tried to joke my way out of it I said do you not think that's a bit weird isn't it and eventually they sort of said

oh we were just messing about but I don't think they were I think they were like fully up for it because it's an unwinnable game because from their point of view you're just waiting for the moment they're going to turn around and think and say oh you think you're so fucking great because oh you've been on tv so you're so fucking great we're not allowed to talk to the great rummage record company it's like excuse me for fucking existing yeah you know too good to join you and your drink with your

friends you haven't seen for ages what a prick it's hard though you don't know you don't know if that could happen no like one night i remember sort of being like walking sort of drunkenly past the kebab shop with a couple friends and somebody said this is honestly how the conversation went somebody went oh romesh my mate says you're not very funny and then I said uh I said well I don't think he's very funny because we get all that for we get all that for I said I said mate I've literally just said back to you what he said to me he said how have I escalated this situation it's mad it's so funny man it is weird maybe the impulse part of the impulse for not wanting to just say, no, leave us alone, is that it is quite nice to meet random people a lot of the time.

You know, it's like this is a weird connection that you've created by putting yourself out into the world and people feel that they know you somehow. And a lot of the time it is, it's cool. You know, you end up having quite nice conversations with people that you would never otherwise chat to. Yeah. You end up having quite nice conversations with people that you would never otherwise chat to. Yeah. But then it's such a strange balance and it can be quite easily skewed.

The other thing I find interesting, and I don't know if you have this problem, is that because I talk about my personal life so much on stage and, you know, everything is true. You know, you're sort of talking about your family and I'm talking about all these things. People know stuff about you. And then I'll be out at a farm park or something and then they'll go is this the one that gives you trouble like point at one of the kids and they're like oh god this is horrendous i mean i mean i have had the thing where i sort of think do i say do i talk about everybody too much on stage like i've i've i've upset um people in the past by being sort of so open about stuff because they haven't signed up to be talked about on stage have you now that's interesting that's a question i often ask people and people

very seldom no i have to admit what you just admitted they usually go oh no it's fine yeah no i i have done and like in what sort of way how did it play out there's a couple of times but the the the one that sort of sticks out is my brother like runs a comedy night in crawley every now and again if i've got some new stuff i just ask him if i can drop in and and um and i go there fairly regularly so one night i said to him he had he had his first child him and his wife and a few weeks later they had a gig and i said i've got some new stuff can i come down and try it and what i talked about was the fact that his baby had to they had his forceps to pull the baby out and his head was really like funky shaped but they hadn't told

me before I'd arrived and so I sort of had to conceal my shock at like how pointy his head was and so I remember thinking sort of what's the etiquette in this sort of situation so when I went down I talked about this on stage I didn't have a routine I just sort of literally had thought this is a funny thing to discuss and so that makes it worse because you haven't got it delicately balanced in the way that you know you keep trying stuff and eventually arrives at a place yeah so it wasn't that it was raw and I was just talking about it and you're pushing and you're looking for the laughs or whatever and after I finished the set it went fine you know I got like the what I needed from the gig um and then I walked off and then my brother's wife sister just came up to me and said I can't believe you would talk about that on stage like in that way

like that's your nephew or whatever like she was she was sort of half joking but was she was sort of making a point it's the first time you do think about it a lot, I guess, like how much do you divulge of your life on stage? But like it did make, I did, I mean, I did feel really, really bad about it, but,

but I did carry on doing the routines. I spoke to my brother about it. He goes, no, no, it's fine. I don't really care. So often you'll get,

I don't know, I'll get people do something like a builder will come round and like be doing something and then something will go wrong and he'll go, but don't know, I'll get people do something, like a builder will come round, and like be doing something, and then something will go wrong, and he'll go, bet that'll be in the next thing, so, and I don't want to be that guy, I don't want to be that guy,

that people are worried about, that my friends and family are nervous, about saying anything in front of me, because it's going to get plundered, for my next stand up set, but there's a chance it will, do you know what I mean? Just so you know.

Yeah, but like, but i remember like another thing i was doing that i was doing the last leg and i got asked a question about kids and i said i you know i'm a very proud parent and i love my children but i don't really care about other people's children you know you can't i haven't got that bit where i think all children are wonderful do you know i mean i just have the bit that I'm programmed to think mine are. I said, I don't really care about other people's kids. When people start talking about what their kids are,

I couldn't care less. And you have to be mindful of that, that people don't care about your kids either. And I said that, and then maybe a week later, we're at a birthday party. My son was at a birthday party, and we were sitting there sort of watching. And then these parents came up, started talking to Lisa,

and then they said to me, we would tell you what we've been up to rubbish but um obviously you don't care do you so we won't bother that's amazing i've always wondered about that if that happens yeah so it has happened a couple of times not loads but a few times yeah i mean that you know i i guess i mentioned my wife now and again what does she think about you talking about well she very seldom watches or listens to things i do but occasionally it'll get back to her it'll filter back to her via her friends or something or she'll stumble upon it and she uses it as leverage for the next argument so it's like um oh you know it suits whenever it suits you to get a few cheap laughs out of me that's absolutely fine and i'm not allowed to say anything which is sort of like yeah okay okay that is technically true but i don't

think they're cheap i think they're um expensive laughs solid gold laughs and it's also I'm creating a character it's not an accurate representation of who she really is or what our relationship is really like yeah you know I I want to protect her to a certain degree and I want to I am mindful of not completely taking them for granted and feeling that I can do what I want with them. Yes. I own them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, of course, I don't.

But I certainly did feel quite free with using my children in videos when they were younger. Right. I wouldn't do it now, I don't think, because they're sort of older and they're more self-aware. Right. And there's more of a chance that they would see it or their friends would see it and it would be a bit weird but you know when they were toddlers yes yeah i just thought yeah why not who cares you know it's fine and they're sweet they're going to change unrecognizably within a few months yeah you know no one's it's never going to be a problem i don't think there was one video i had of my son dancing around naked when he was about,

he must've been about three, I suppose. And it was a video that I used to show live shows still do sometimes. It always makes me very happy because he just looks so joyful. It was a sunny day. And we had this thing called a crazy Daisy that you plug into a hose and it whips around. Yeah. It's like a big, it looks like a big daisy, right? Hence the name. And it whips around sending sprays of water everywhere. And I was filming him and it was all backlit. So it looked beautiful. It looked like a commercial.

And it's this little guy jumping around. And I put Outer Space by The Prodigy over it. Right. And it works really well. It's like a nice little music video. And he's dancing in this crazy way. And then I was asked to go and open a hall at his school. And so I thought, God, what am I going to do?

So I brought along that video. And he was a bit older at that point. He must have been about eight or nine. Yeah, but he must have been about eight, I reckon, seven or eight. So all his mates were there and I showed the, I asked him first of all. Before? Yeah, I thought I better ask. So I was like, hey, is it, would you be okay if I played that video of you dancing around with it?

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I showed it. It went down a storm and all the children were really laughing and then for a few weeks after that he was he was known as naked boy he said oh everyone calls me naked boy and i was like yeah you okay with that he's like yeah yeah it's fine i don't mind but then every now and again now and i still usually check with him like before before i'm going to show it at a gig i'm like hey man so you check every time you're going to use it pretty much right yeah if i think i'm going to use it i'll usually mention it but now he's got to the stage where if he's pissed off with me he'll say no no don't play that i'm

like really are you usually fine with it i'm like what's the problem you're going to get embarrassed he's like what do you think it's me dancing around naked in the garden right yeah okay okay how does it work on asian provocateur presumably it looks like a kind of confection of real moments and then some moments that are sort of semi put together and yeah well for Asian Provocateur we sort of you know with the first series they went away the production team with my mum and went and discussed what sort of things she would like me to do and you know what sort of things she thought were cultural touch points in Sri Lanka and also where we had relatives in Sri Lanka because obviously that was you know that sort of informed the series and then we go into those scenes and then it's up to them whether I know what's going to happen or not what about some of the uh irritation with your mum

that you do sometimes um how does that work is that genuinely what your relationship is like? Pretty much, yeah. I think it is, but it isn't all the time. So what it is, is she is like that with me. She's very blunt with me and we bicker like that, but we're very close. My mum and I are very close, but that's just how our relationship is, is that we're just very upfront and blunt and she's sort of honest about what she thinks.

Aha, okay. But there are times when she is uh she's not having a go at me she's being very sweet and supportive but that's not as entertaining i mean like she does you know the thing about her having a go at me about my way is true i mean the thing about her being annoyed with me that i don't know enough about my culture is true that all of the stuff where she complains about me not being in touch enough all of that is true she she finds me very frustrating son she'll say to me you know i just don't think you're very she'll say it in like i love you but you're not a very dutiful attentive son and my brother is very good at

keeping in touch with my mom and he's very he's very good at chatting with her and he doesn't look at his phone when she comes around to his house and stuff like that. So there's all these things that I do that sort of wind my mum up. Yeah. But she won't sit there and let it fester. She'll just go straight away. Well, come here and you're just looking at the phone all the bloody time. She'll just straight away say, and then it's forgotten. You know, she's not, she doesn't continue that annoyance.

That's just how she is. That's, I wish I had that relationship. That is the opposite of all my relationships. Everything. I'm Uncle Fester. Everything has to get pushed down and then comes out at a later date. Yeah, I'm a bit like that.

It's awful. I hate it. I wish I could be more relaxed. But part of the reason that I got my dad involved with our TV show back in the day bad dad i mean the spur for it really was you were the first one you know am i right in saying to exploit their parents yes comedy on tv i don't know someone must have done it before i don't think so i think because i there was an article i saw about, because quite a few comics are sort of doing bits and pieces

with parents or whatever. It seems like an obvious thing. Yeah. Because it's that generational juxtaposition is always interesting. Yeah, and I'm sure you were cited as the originator. Uh-huh. Well, you know, like many of the things that we did on our show,

it was one of Louis' ideas. Louis Theroux, he used to come round and hang out at my house where we lived in clapham he and joe and especially around christmas time and uh we'd have a few drinks and my dad would always kind of show off to louie because louie's part of this literary royalty yeah and my dad was a writer so everything would be directed at louie and he thought that me and joe were just silly people so he wouldn't really worry too much about us yeah and it was always really funny and we just make try and make louis laugh and be stupid and louis said you know you should get your dad in the show and the original idea was um get him to review gangster

rap right right right and that would be it. It would just be like him listening to Gangsta Rap. So we did it with just any old single in the end. And then it evolved into us going on missions, going out to Ibiza, going to music festivals and things like that. And some of the time it was good, but a lot of the time I found it very stressful

because it was such a different relationship. You know, our real relationship was really quite formal right i was most of the time pretty respectful to him he's quite a serious old school conservative person so we didn't have that much in common yeah and suddenly we were in a situation where we're squashed together. From my point of view, I want him to be funny about it. Yes. From his point of view, he doesn't want to be made to look a fool. Yeah. But that's exactly what we're trying to do.

So every now and again, it would be really difficult. Luckily, I had Joe, who was the buffer. So Joe would kind of direct my dad. So I wouldn't have to do it too much myself. But then there were times that i would have to step in and say come on dad you know help us out yeah go and touch that bloke's oiled up naked ass well the problem that we have with mom is that she it's not a problem i mean she's great but she is always trying to do what she thinks is the right thing so she'd always try and say what she thinks either I or the do or Ben the director one okay and what we

want is for her to just be herself you know because often what she thinks is the funniest possible reaction to the to the situation so so for example we did a thing the other day where like mum and i went to um a cookery class this is spoiler alert and she was just chatting to blokes there and stuff like that and as we came out i just said to her what did you think of that she goes yeah it was nice and i had a nice time it was lovely so i was like okay i mean none of that's making the edit so I got home that night and I said it was fun tonight wasn't it and then she just went into this tirade of how like this guy was annoying her I was shit in the social situation I just every time I look at your bloody miserable fit like just

like she was sort of being she was sort of playing to the crowd a bit but she was like telling her real thoughts I said why the hell didn't you say this when the cameras were on? I said, when the cameras were on, you said, I'm very nice, darling, thank you. But she was like, I didn't want to say what you'd sorted out for me was rubbish.

She goes, because I didn't want to upset you and you've gone to trouble or whatever. And she goes, but this is what I really thought of it. And I said, from now on, you just have to say what you really think of it because that's what we're after do you know what i mean it's hard but also my mum is incredibly random like so like i remember the the first the very first time we started filming with her a similar thing to you is that i thought like mum's funny let's get her on camera but she just won't follow any direction and it's not like she's funny let's get her on camera but she just won't follow any

direction and it's not like she's directed particularly it's just like tell Ramesh about this there's one point where she goes um you've got to visit here you've got to visit dinner you've got to visit Radiglo you've got to visit Gandhi you've got to she just listed all these things and then somebody else one of her friends that was in the scene was talking while she was talking so they stopped and then ben said that thing you just did shanti where you were like just listing the places that romesh needs to go i just didn't want to get that clean like so can we do that can you do that again try and say that the way because she didn't she wasn't asked to do that she just was like

she just did it so he goes can you just do that again and and she goes what do you want me to do darling and he's going like you know this when you were going you want to go there you want to go here did it and she goes okay yeah fine fine fine this is like day one of filming or whatever so ben's like okay right sets all the cameras up and then he goes right go go shanti whenever you're ready and then she just goes she looks at me and she goes rami there is this children's charity that and just starts going on about that for about 50, like honestly, it felt like 15 minutes,

half an hour, like she's just going on and on. And Ben, at that stage, didn't really know her. So he just sat there, I was watching his face getting redder and redder. Yeah.

And so just rolling all this random thing. She just does that all the time. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just like, she just won't follow any instructions or whatever.

But that's part of what's sort of so good about her, I guess. It tricky isn't it because most people are taught to respect their parents yes right and when you're in that tv when you're trying to ring entertainment out of them all that has to kind of go out the window I know it's horrible and like and also the other thing is you're nervous well I you know you're not nervous because you know you're sort of making the show or you're in the show and you know what's involved. But watching your family members in those situations, I do find it quite difficult because I get nervous for them.

And do they watch the show? Do you watch it go out? Do they like it? My mum, all my family watch it. My wife has yet to watch any of it. watch the show do you watch it go out do they like it my mum uh all my family watch it my wife is yet to watch any of it so she doesn't she doesn't know it like she doesn't she just i just she sort of said why would i watch you like you're here so which is fair enough but all my family my mum like she works at royal mail and she's like a celeb like obviously it's like for her there she loves it i mean they're all like oh when are you like, obviously it's like for her there, she loves it. I mean, they're all like, oh, when are you going to do another one?

And like, because the other thing is the reason that sort of exacerbated it was she didn't tell anybody. She just told them she's going on a trip to Sri Lanka or she was taking some days off. She didn't tell them why. And then all of a sudden this show came out and she was in it. So it's this big surprise element. But she, my mum loves it she loves a celebrity like i mean she would be if you've got any more famous she'd be unbearable i'm fully i fully believe that because she properly likes it you know if anybody says can i have a photo she's of course she'll pay with everything by card so that they see the

surname because yes that is my son she's properly into it is that real melody have you seen my phone charger I left it right there. Did you see it? Have you got it? Where's my charger gone?

Where's my phone charger? The battery's about to die. It was on the table. Round and round in their heads go the chord progressions, the empty lyrics, and the impoverished fragments of tune. And boom goes the brain box at the start of every bar boom goes the brain box you used to be a freestyle rapper oh my god called ranga yeah and uh you once reached the finals of the uk freestyle rapping competition that's quite impressive how long were you doing that uh i was doing it for a couple of years maybe longer no a few years me and some friends

ran a pirate radio station from uni yeah and we used to like freestyle rap on there and then i carried on doing it after uni and and then i met up with some other like this dj we used to do mixtapes in horsham and put them out and then this competition came up you have to send a little tape of you rapping and if you make it through like if they like your tape they invite you to this freestyle rap competition thing so i got invited and you just it's like eight mile what was your preferred bpm for freestyle rap god knows are you about to make me do it yeah are you gonna do it sure okay we'll have a go all right let's give it a go i I don't mind. Hang on, let's see if we can... Is that a good sort of... I guess so, I don't know. I don't know. What do you think? Are you feeling it?

I think so. Does it need to be less busy than that? I can take some of the... Oh yeah, maybe. This is the thing they have in modern rap today, isn't it, for a measure? Yes, that's right. With all the... Yeah, yeah yeah yeah like uh i was in a shoe shop today and they had that every single track off this album was just it was literally just like this but also the vocals now i don't know if you've heard this but there's all sort of

like we're breathing yeah well there's the kind of mumblecore thing going on as well well they'll sort of get a phrase that they like little yachty yeah little yachty where i say something like sitting in the chair i ain't scared sitting in the chair i ain't scared i ain't scared sitting in like they just like pick a phrase i just repeat it over and over again all right i've got a list of topics here first topic the internet okay fine you go first no oh i have to go first you go first well sometimes when i don't know what's going on I like to log on to the internet, yeah I go to Google search and type my query in and then look at what I get, yeah Interesting facts about things that I'm interested in

Coming up in front of my eyes on the Google search Answers coming at me, it's satisfying It's one of the perks of the internet when is it your turn um i use the internet and i mainly look on twitter i try to get on snapchat but to be honest that's a bit shitter i look up a lot because I'm trying to find information. And also the broadcast times on my provocateur show, Asian. My name is Ramesh and I'm talking about the net. And this rap is about as good as it's going to get. I'll be honest, I'm not feeling the tempo and I'm a little bit off beat. And the internet rap isn't really on topic.

So I've gone off peak. Shall we do a different beat? Let's see if I can find just a sort of real old school one. Shut up. Oh yeah. Yeah, this might work. Do you want it faster? Or no, that's a good tempo. It's fine, yeah.

Yeah, alright. Okay. What's the topic? Topic is holidays. Go good you go uh okay my idea of a nice break is sometimes going to center parks that's where you have all the best family locks yes it is expensive yes it's kind of lame sometimes but it is fantastic when the family are together in a hut made of wood that isn't like a wood. And you're driving around on bicycles and that is very good because it's good for you. Why have I done this voice? I don't know. That's not cool, is it? Yes, yes.

MC Ryan. MC Rack And last year, man's went to Sri Lanka I couldn't speak the language and they treated me like a wanker You understand I chill out upon the beach and upon the shore And if I don't ramp up on the drink because it's not pure I like the curry, don't eat it in a hurry The toilets are no good, you'll be shitting and it'll be blurry because your vision will be going because of the way that you is shitting and you understand it's

holidays is what about i'd be spitting i'd be the ranger i choose many vacation spots last year i went to center parks for christmas like my man over here gots but the truth is it was a little bit overpriced and my wife said it wasn't nice enough for that time of year That was good, man Let's do one more Alright, here's some topics, see if any of these jump out at you Fizzy drinks, fruit, chocolate, nature, animals. We can do animals.

All right, let's do animals. Oh, yeah. Oh, I love animals. I really love them. My favourite one is Rosie. She's a dog. I go on walks with Rosie all the time. And when I don't't it makes me sad

like a log that's been chopped from a tree and is lying on the ground looking lonely with nothing to be found all around the log because the log has not fallen on the dog and now the dog is dead underneath the log and it's a kind of tragedy It's not the way I wanted this rap to go at all Does it really matter if it rhymes or not? I don't know, I know I'm feeling sad So I'll stop Yes, and mans like me we love a cat You understand with people that like cats

Think that people like dogs are twats I love a cat because a proper nice feline I look at many cats and I say I wish they'd be mine My favourite type of cat is the one that's not scabby I like the black cats but my favourite one is tabby I feed them kitty cat or sometimes hit them with the whiskers I can't think enough of the rhymes of whiskers But I frisk a cat on the regular

That means frequently I like to hang out with cats And hang out with them decently What I'm saying is don't touch them inappropriately I treat a cat with respect I don't grab on the pussy Hey thanks man Don't worry about it thanks for having me Oh mate anytime Hey, thanks, man. Don't worry about it.

Thanks for having me. Oh, mate, anytime. Wait. This is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success. Yes, success. The way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes it looks very professional I love browsing your videos

and pics and I don't want to stop and I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop. These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, use the offer code BUXTON to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So put the smile of success on your face with Squarespace. Yes. Continue. The Pat Clack.

Hey, welcome back listeners. Hope you enjoyed that. Thanks so much to Romesh Ranganathan for his time out there. It was really nice seeing him I believe there are still tickets available for his show at the Greek Theatre if you're able to go along I'm looking forward to seeing him again after the whole episode is over and finding out how it went um there's lots of people I want to catch up with, actually. Ian Lee. I hope that Ian Lee will come back on the podcast at some point and tell me all about life in the jungle. I'll probably talk to Joe about that next week in the Christmas podcast.

Oh, man, it's cold. Tell you what I need. A chili pepper, right? I typed in the query, can chili peppers kill you? And that took me to a BBC News website. And I quote, oh, Rosie's terrorizing pheasants. Apologies to the pheasant community. Anyway, chilies, can they kill you? I quote, hours or days or so a very serious discomfort aside there don't

seem to be long-term dangers per se in eating very hot peppers biologists have observed however that administering capsaicin the active component of chili peppers over long periods of time in young mammals does result in the death of the pain neurons setting the neurons off repeatedly wears them out and they don't grow back i mean i know pain neurons are useful but on the other hand they're not fun so aren't they just saying that your tolerance to the effects of chilies is increased now listen i'm not a scientist or a doctor so i'm not going to go into that any further oh fly past from the hairy bullet it's a nice day for just running around very fast hey listeners here's a podcast recommendation for you now full disclosure i haven't actually heard this one yet, but I really like the people involved,

so I intend to listen to it when I am next able. Capital is the name of the podcast. It's a new comedy podcast about a referendum to bring back capital punishment. It's devised and improvised by its cast, which includes Adam Drake, Charlotte Ritchie, Harry Enfield, John Snow, Liam Williams and Matilda Wonek, along with Freddie Sybourne and Ben Rouse. It's very funny, says comedy writer Sam Bain. I'm reading out a little spiel that Liam Williams sent me.

out a little spiel that Liam Williams sent me. And iTunes user Colin Moore says, why aren't there more podcasts like this? That's coming from Colin Moore. So that's, that's a pretty good endorsement there. The first three episodes are available now on iTunes, SoundCloud and Stitcher and the rest of the series will be released throughout December. Just search Capital to start listening. It sounds good. I'm going to and I recommend you do too. Liam Williams is amazingly funny and I really hope I'm going to get him on this podcast at some point. But yeah, check out Capital. In other exciting news, on the last episode of the podcast,

I mentioned the fact that there is a new podcast with me and Garth talking about his career making legendary music videos and other bits and pieces, available as a bit of bonus audio on the Adam Buxton app. The free Adam Buxton app. Why haven't you downloaded it yet? It's free and fun, but some parts of the app are not free or fun. No, they are. They're all fun. So the bonus audio with Garth, the bonus podcast, is currently behind a paywall of 99 pence. And a few people have said how much they enjoyed the episode but were having some problems

on their devices scrolling through the episode or finding that if they didn't listen to it all in one go they weren't able to resume where they left off and that is obviously frustrating. off and that is obviously frustrating it's actually different for me on the device that i'm using i'm able to click on a little tab which brings up a uh i'm just navigating to it right now bonus audio garth jennings i had to pay 99p myself to listen to it, but I thought it was worth it. I added one more podcast. Yeah, and then on that it says Bonus Audio 2, and there's a little red arrow in a circle, and if you click that, it brings up, for me anyway, a play bar. Giant podcast binge.

And I'm able to scroll along. And all the shots are as they would be for a real episode of The Price is Right. And then it takes me to a different part of the episode. It's not super smooth, but it does work. So they were receiving their playback at exactly the same time as everyone else. So, yeah, it's not perfect. It's teething problems. And I appreciate that for some people, depending on what version of bits of software they're using, they may not even be able to access that rudimentary play bar. Apologies if you have encountered any frustrating playback issues.

The majority of people I don't think have and have been enjoying that bonus episode with Garth hugely. In fact, I think most of them have considered it the highlight of 2017 so far. And it's just what they've said to me. But anyway, for the rest of you, please rest assured that really quite something who designed the app are on the case and working to improve it in the future.

What else? Putting up our Christmas decorations today at Castle Buc-ee-lees. The thing is that I really love fairy lights. So we have fairy lights up most of the year anyway. And it actually makes Christmas preparations a little bit easier. I just put a few extra strings of fairy lights up, maybe the little red cherry lights. I like those. So it doesn't take too long. And tomorrow I'm going to London to record the Christmas podcast with Joe. Now I was supposed to do it last weekend, but I got halfway there and had to turn back because the weather was so severe.

but I got halfway there and had to turn back because the weather was so severe. And it was a bit dangerous on the roads and the trains were screwed up. And anyway, this was the next available opportunity. So I'm looking forward to doing that. And that episode should be up as long as there aren't any other unforeseen problems on Christmas Day. So do check that out. We'll be reading out some of the messages that you kindly sent in. And we will be exchanging gifts and cultural highlights from the year and the usual Christmassy nonsense from myself and Jaycorn.

And after that episode, it's break time for Buckles. There'll be the odd podcast episode coming out in the first few months of 2018. But won't be back for regular weekly episodes for a few months after Christmas. Anyway, still got Christmas Day to come. So I look forward to that. Until then... Oh, I nearly forgot. I forgot last week. That's no good. To say thank you very much to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for his invaluable production support, and to Matt Lamont for conversation editing. Much appreciated both. Take good care. I love you. Bye!

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