THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.73 - CARIAD LLOYD

Episode Date: April 21, 2018

Adam talks with British actor, writer, character comedian and improvisor Cariad Lloyd (Austentatious, Murder In Successville, Drunk History etc.) about birth, middle age, funny accents, growing up in a ‘cult’ and why talking about death on a podcast is more fun than it sounds.CARIAD NOTESHello, Adam Buxton here. My conversation with Cariad was recorded in February 2017. Why the delay putting it out Buckles? Well, long term podcats will know that some of the conversations I record take a long time to emerge because of the slightly ad hoc way me, Séamus and my occasional edit helpers go about getting each episode ready and figuring out where they should sit in the running order. We’re trying to get more organised but from time to time guests do experience significant delays. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.When we recorded our conversation Cariad and I were both at pivotal moments in our lives. Cariad had just had a baby but her happiness at the new arrival was mixed with sadness that her father, who died suddenly when she was just 15, was not around to see his grandchild. We spoke about that and had a fun chat about mortality in general. As for me, I had just attended the NME Awards which made me feel very old for various reasons. Regular listeners will have heard me moaning about this before and Cariad was not spared…Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support and Jack Bushell for additional editing.Music & jingles by Adam BuxtonRELATED LINKSGRIEFCASThttps://www.acast.com/griefcastAUSTENTATIOUS http://www.austentatiousimpro.com/THE AMERICANShttps://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/may/30/secrets-lies-new-cold-war-how-the-americans-became-topicalMORE INFORMATION ABOUT est http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2016/04/06/the_true_story_of_est_the_pop_psychology_group_that_seduces_philip_in_this.htmlSMERSHPOD - TAFFIN SPECIALhttps://www.acast.com/smershpod/smershsidespecial-taffinRHLSTP - BRIAN BLESSEDhttps://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_herring_lst_podcast/rhlstp_175_brian_blessed/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening I took my microphone and found some human folk Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan. Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here.

Basking in the sunshine, what a difference a week makes. The whole countryside has transformed. And what a difference a week makes. The whole countryside has transformed. Lush green, blossom exploding from the trees all round. Cherry blossom over there. Sort of red blossom over there. I don't know what that is.

Nettles. There's some nettles as well, you know. Can't have the blossom without the nettles. And that's like life though, isn't it? And it is actually properly hot. I'm wearing my shorts, you'll be glad to hear. And I'm wearing my fleece at the moment. Middle-aged man in shorts and fleece.

But I think I'm going to have to take my fleece off because it's too warm. That would be an exciting film, wouldn't it? Starring Nick Cage and John Travolta as two middle-aged men, Burghaus and Craghopper, who get too warm and both decide to take their fleece off. How are you doing, Rosie, with your natural furry fleece? I feel great.

So many different sounds and smells. I just want to poo and wee everywhere. Sure, I know how you feel. I mean, it couldn't be more perfect. Let's just listen. These are real sounds you're listening to, by the way. All right. I won't go on too much about the joys of the summer because it might not be summery where you are and you'll get resentful to your points of view i was absolutely disgusted with the beginning of adam buxton's podcast weather where i was listening was quite inclement and i deeply resented having my face rubbed in his good meteorological fortune please ensure it does not happen again all right let me tell you about this week's podcast guest podcast number 73 features a conversation with british comedian actor and writer cariad lloyd much of cariad's comedy work involves playing characters and improvising which she's done in TV shows like Murder in Successville,

Drunk History and her own BBC Three sketch show pilot, The Cariad Show from 2014. Over the last few years, Cariad has also been one of a cast of improvisers to appear in the hugely successful theatre show Ostentatious, an entirely improvised comedy play in the style of Jane Austen, hence the title, that's how it's spelt. I quote from their website, Join the all-star cast as they create a riotously funny new literary masterpiece based on nothing more than a title suggested by the audience. Performed in full Regency costume with live musical accompaniment, Ostentatious's past works include Bath to the Future, Strictly Come Darcy and Mansfield Shark. No two shows are ever the same. As I speak, April 2018, Ostentatious takes place every month at the Savoy Theatre in London before

relocating to Edinburgh for the Fringe in August, and that's followed by a UK tour thereafter. Back to Cariad though, she is also the host of Griefcast, a podcast in which she talks to comedians about their experience of losing someone close to them. Losing them to death, that is. It's not all about times when people have got lost in theme parks and supermarkets. I was a guest on Briefcast in early 2016, a few weeks after my dad had died, and as she does with all her guests, Cariad made it an experience that was frequently emotional, but also fun. Not to say cathartic. The conversation in this podcast took place towards the beginning of last year, 2017. So why the delay, buckles? Why put it out after so long?

Well, long-term podcasts will know that some of the conversations I record take a long time to emerge because of the slightly ad hoc way that me and Seamus and my edit helpers go about getting each episode ready. We sort of do it as and when there's time, and we're not all that organized. Trying to get more organized, but from time to time guests do experience significant delays, and we apologize for any inconvenience caused, no disrespect intended. When we recorded our conversation at the beginning of last year, Cariad and I were both at pivotal moments in our lives. Cariad had just had a baby, but her happiness at the new arrival was tinged with sadness that her father was not around to

see his grandchild. We spoke about that and, you know, had a fun chat about mortality in general a bit like grief cast as for me at the beginning of last year i had just attended the nme awards and that made me feel very old for various reasons regular listeners will have heard me moaning about this before and cariad was not spared i'll be back at the end of the podcast with some more hot waffle. But've just had a human baby. I've just had a human baby. And so how do you feel now? You look very well, I must say. You don't look tired or anything.

Oh, my God. Do you feel crazy or are you enjoying it? I am really enjoying it, but it's just so weird. I don't think people talk enough about how weird it is. This is your first, right? This is my first child. I'm just going to close the doors. Oh, yeah.

That's good. I can think about how I feel. Yeah, it's my first right this is my first child i'm just gonna close the door oh yeah that's good i can think about how i feel yeah it's my first yeah and i don't know are you the youngest or do you have no i'm the oldest you're the oldest okay so i have an older brother and i i still feel like a youngest like my personality is younger sister yeah i'm quite annoying i like annoying people winding people up i still think I should get everything you know that's slightly I'm definitely a younger sister so I still have that slight surprise that I have a baby because in my head I'm sort of like how have I managed to do that when I'm I think I'm only 16 I guess in my head which I don't look 16 anymore but you do oh bless you

bless you Adam I did blink while I said you do which presumably is a tell yeah i mean you're lying but i actually mean it you look really well how old are you that's a question sorry is that not cool to ask i know in the olden days no it's cool you don't ask a lady how old she is but i thought like nowadays it's like well you can ask a lady you can ask a lady that i am but i but I honestly forget. I am 34. 34? 34, yeah. But you don't look 34.

Thanks. You look 16. 16 to 25 casting? Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Is that where you're still in, the bracket? No. I went up, I went up probably a couple of years ago.

It's this really weird, you go for castings where you're like sassy best friend. Yeah. And then very slowly you get a script it's like oh I've got a son in this script that's I don't know how I'm gonna have a son because I'm I look so young you're like oh the son is he's 18 oh okay because that weird way that women in the media are never you know portrayed correctly so yeah yeah you know 16 year olds are played by yeah 20 year olds so yeah when you hit yeah suddenly you've got kids in a script but i could still play sassy best friend mr bbc3 casting directors yeah i know i remember getting um i mean i don't do a lot of acting but i remember getting a few scripts for at a certain

point for like dad you know oh yeah yeah okay yeah and now i mean the beard obviously adds a lot and then when it starts going gray then you you're like, okay, I'm probably going to get granddad's grips soon. Maybe you haven't got the grey on the main area. Oh, I know, but it's going very thin. I was at the NME Awards the other day. That's very cool and trendy. Is it? I don't know.

Someone had to explain to me. Boy, I felt pretty ancient. I felt old. I was asked to give away the award for best film. Oh, cool. And Louis, my friend Louis Theroux, had been nominated. I came out and I said, it's very loud. Is there any way we can just turn it down a tiny bit?

Especially the bass. And they thought you were genuine. When Wiley was playing, I think it dislodged something in my bowels. I mean, there's just a sort of wall of noise anyway, because everyone's talking, right? So it was impossible to tell. I mean, it was total indifference. I didn't get a laugh, but it was total indifference. But I was sufficiently rattled that I said, right, anyway, let's look at the nomination, as if there was just one nomination.

And then I looked up at the screen, massive screen, which I'm on. And as I turned to the screen before they cut to the clips package, I could see the back of my head. And I was like, oh, I'm losing my hair. Or rather, I wasn't losing, I guess I am losing it, but it was so thin. And with the lights on it, it was like, whoa. It doesn't look it now. Monk man.

It doesn't look it now at all. I know because the light's not too bad. But if someone had a big light behind me. In real life, you're not presenting the NME Awards all the time. But it's going to be hat time soon is what I'm saying. Oh, you think? Yeah. Well, I think you're doing pretty well.

Because I'm never going to shave my head. But how old are you? Nearly 50. Oh, fuck. And you got that much hair? Yeah. My brother lost it. My brother lost it like 22.

Did he? Yeah. Yeah, but I bet he's slim and tall. He's tall. It's not so good if you're a little on the shorter side. He is tall. I will say that. Because otherwise, basically, it's George Costanza.

That's what you're moving towards. But you're not chubby like George. That's nice of you. Do you not? Listen, listeners, I'm getting rewards now for saying that cariad looks 16 but we both know that i'm george you're not at all you're not nearly as chubby you have the glasses yeah you don't have an audience in front of you all the time doing the laughter that's true i can't get past but george cassandra that he's the guy that tries to sexually assault julia robertson pretty woman

same actor right and it always slightly very brilliantly creepy in that isn't yeah and it all every time i watch so i always think don't trust you yeah because of what you did to julia because you said you respected her when richard was there but when richard went he treated her like a prostitute yeah man so what is the name of the actor this is i know it's awful what's his name i know his name hey siri what's the name of the actor who plays George Costanza? Hmm, I'm not finding anything for Georgica Stanza. I didn't say Georgica Stanza. That's why Siri's no good.

I mean, I guess I did say Georgica Stanza, but I didn't say Georgica Stanza, which is a good name. Is it a good name? Georgica. Are you going to tell them you're actually holding up your phone like you're in Star Trek and asking Siri? Yeah, because recently I've had some good results from Siri. Oh, really Jason Jason Alexander we did it with our brains we did it with our Siri brains it's because I because when you said hey Siri I imagined it was me and I was like what your brain woke up my brain was like yeah what do you need to know Adam Jason Alexander yeah even though you got the man's voice on Siri. Didn't he used to be a woman?

I just imagined that. You can set it to be what you want. Oh, and you set it to be a man. Well, it defaults to a man because... It's too late. Don't give me sexist vibes for what voice Siri chooses. I didn't say... Right. Siri, I want you to be a man because I hate women.

Well, you heard it. You just admitted it. Hey, Siri, can I change your voice to a female voice? I can't change my voice, but you can do it yourself in settings. Oh, classic patriarchy. Yeah, make it hard. No, I'm not going to make it easy for you.

You have to go into settings. Where are settings? Typical. So you're on break then. How long are you going to hang out with your child human i've already gone back to work have you yeah some people look at you like oh and you're like no that's good when you have your first baby 11 weeks man that's a long time yeah but everyone well i went back to work at six weeks i did it back to work in six days in six days no and not

because again not because of any like political point or because I'm self-employed. Yeah, because you like working. No, no, because I'm self-employed is genuinely the answer. So if someone says, do you want to do this? It was like a day on a TV show, a couple of days. And it was like, well, I'm self-employed. So who the fuck knows what else is going to. All my other pregnant friends all have got like you know

three months off six months off and then their job comes back i can't sit here and go oh in six months time i'll come back guys and there'll be work that's how i feel because i'm an anxious actor writer performer so i feel like i try to take off as much time as i can and also now i've done some work but now i'm also i've got've got nothing this week. What have you been doing? I did a day, a couple of days on Murder Unsuccessful. Oh, I love that show. I say I love that show. I've only seen one and a half, but it was a very happy one and a half.

Yeah, it's good. It's a fun show. Did you see the Jamie Lang one? That's my favorite episode. No, I saw a guy who, I think he was in Made in Chelsea, a blonde guy. Oh, that's it. That's Jamie. Oh, that's Jamie.

That's my favorite. No, I didn't see that one. Yeah, I's it, that's Jamie. Oh, that's Jamie. That's my favourite. No, I didn't see that one. Yeah, I did. That was really funny. I loved that so much. But Jamie was amazing. The reason he's my favourite, I guess, because what I do a lot of improv,

it's a large part of my world, and what it made me realise was reality shows like Made in Chelsea or Only Ways Essex, they're improvising. It never occurred to me they're improvising. They're told what, aren't they? They're given like beats. They're't they they're given like beats they're given storylines I guess some of them this is this is uh what do they call it constructive constructive reality or something yeah and then they just make it up and I suddenly realize oh my god they're doing exactly what I do except I'm you

know dressed as a Jane Austen character and so he was, that's a good point. And so he was amazing at keeping, you know, the flow going and that he knows how to make sure it doesn't end. And he also slightly, when the cameras were off, he carried on interviewing me. Oh, really? Yeah, he was like, so where were you? And what happened to that Italian restaurant? The celebrities take it so seriously.

Richard Osman, we just had one. And he was like going through my character's bag. And he was like, what's this receipt? And I was like, I don't know. I i was like i haven't looked in the bag i've just been i'm just dressed as i'm probably allowed to say i've dressed as hillary clinton for that one yeah and um that's on the new series yeah that's a new one good one and he was genuinely going through looking for clues oh it's a good show i really enjoyed it i was slammed when it came out i think well people did i think they didn't know what to make of it. And now it's done really well. I guess the knives are out for a lot of BBC Three stuff.

Yeah, and it seemed very silly. Maybe that perception is changing because there's been so much good stuff on there recently, like Fleabag and all that. Yeah, and it's on its third series. Yeah. It did really well. People Just Do Nothing was nominated at the NME Awards. Oh, I love that show.

Yeah, that's a good show. I remember Jamie Dimitriou telling me about it ages ago. It is an amazing show. Fleabag 1. Fleabag is another amazing. That's sort of unstoppable momentum now with that show. It's a bit like The Office. I remember when that got big.

You know, it's like, okay. Yeah, they're making series two already. Right. Yeah, an amazing show. Have you worked with her? No, I haven't, but I'd met her. Phoebe. Phoebe.

Is that her name? Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I actually saw her in a play years ago at the almida and she was so incredible then me and my friends were like god who's that girl like shit you know and someone's so good yeah and then when i found out she was writing i was like oh okay yeah if you could do anything would you do a show a sort of scripted comedy show like that um i don't know i'm sort of i mean you were you did your sketch show i did my sketch show i'd happily do scripted i think people don't realize it's so hard to get stuff made that i

don't think you can be that choosy do you sit there and write down ideas the whole time do you like writing yeah yeah no i've got treatments in i'm working with production companies yeah have been since exhausting yeah like since i you know did my edinburgh show and yeah then you get producers interested in it so you did your first edinburgh show 2011 2011 yeah yeah yeah lady characters yeah the most positively tweeted about show in the fringe that year and you won an award for that i won the ed twinge award which i don't think exists anymore i hope not but it was very nice because i went up with like no agent no I did everything myself so I was like literally temping full-time the July that I left for Edinburgh so anything that happened I was like

oh my god thank you so much oh my god because I just it was just me and a suitcase full of costumes and my brilliant tech John Monkhouse and in a in a room with no you know like cardboard on the one to stop the light coming in for the windows and people coming into the bar and stuff so yeah and what did the show consist of then it was for uh six characters so like 10 minutes each yeah it was like stuff i'd gigged and yeah it was like joke was that i um i'd booked loads of acts and they hadn't shown up so i'd found these people who are that old that old character oh it's just me um yeah so i had all these different characters i had jack lecoq who's a french parkour guy who just sounds racist

it's so racist he just says paku and climbs on people yeah and uh really i used to really hit on a woman for like aggressively for 10 minutes which is the funnest thing to do when you're a small woman because the boyfriends don't know what they're so confused. Oh, you really are hitting on my girlfriend, but you're a small woman. So I can't be offended, but you really are pushing it. And I'd be like, yeah, I'm really pushing it. So you had a little moustache or something? No, no, I'd like a baseball cap and this big, like,

I look like I was from the Ben Loo, you know, like Le Hen kind of thing. Oh, yes. Okay. Like a really tough part. And I just used to climb on things and go, un, deux, trois, parcours. That was basically it. It's fun to do a French accent,

don't you think? My favorite thing is to do fake French. That's how Jack invented it. What's fake French? Tu esime les poussins de la peau de sac ou les adums. Je veux manger tout ce que je veux. Et parce que les mots de café

sont comme les gasolines pour les fenêtres. Je te fais la mouche. That's the best thing in the world fake French where do you get the sounds what are you thinking

in your mind while you're saying that you just have to get the are you just manglarising English words no no so I can do and that's sort of

Scandinavian Scandinavian yeah like you can that's good that can cover sweden denmark that's like yeah that's the killing you like the killing right yeah yeah so you have to know like this is the trick to do it you have to know a couple of the languages words so you know a couple of french words and then you listen to the sound and you just throw it in and i've i've fooled a french person once he was like oh i'm so. I do not know what region you are from. I was like, dickhead region, dickhead region.

That's where I'm from. Doing your accent. Well, I used to do much more. Ich komme aus die Funde ausgehen. Nein, ich habe die Funde, die große Ausländer. Die Sneektaffel fuhren. It's not very good, the German. I wish I was German and I could hear what that sounded like. Yeah, I know.

Like, how would you do English? There is online, there's an English one, which I discovered, because I was like, I was struggling. I can't do it. You can't. And someone has done an English one and they kind of, they're like, oh, yeah, that would be, I heard there was cake. Yeah, sure.

Coming down now. Whoa, no, no way. Yeah. Man, run, run. Sure. But obviously it sounds really, but there's a video it's like a video of two people doing gibberish english yeah yeah do you think is your is one's mind as a brit not capable of rewiring in that way you just can't it's so hard yeah because the only reason i can do it is because i don't know those languages well enough right right right

yeah i was living in paris for a tiny amount of time and the more French I learned the harder it was to do because then you're like oh no I know that's that's not what you'd say who are the people that were your heroes when you grew up comedy wise? I, cause I have an older brother who got me into comedy and he was, all he would do was watch Red Dwarf and Blackadder. So that really was like a large amount of my growing up to the point that I, I know Norman Lovett now and I like,

and he's a friend and I really think he's brilliant, but I had to hide a lot of my, like he was talking about talking about oh there's people who love Red Dwarf and I was like yeah those dicks oh my god texting my brother I'm talking to Holly right now yeah because I was upset and black at her as well um but I was massively into uh Julie Waters was like a huge I really liked her because she wasn't just like a stand-up you know she was sort of allowed to do other things and that for me growing up was just the idea that you she has funny bones yeah doesn't she and like but because she's such a skilled actor she god yeah she can do really those characters come alive and they're all so intrinsically funny and i was big julia davis fan oh yeah and um josie lawrence because I saw Josie do Whose Lines Anyway, which completely, as I said, improv is a large amount of what I do.

And then I went and saw her do Tame Me With A Shrew at the RSC. And it blew my brain as a 12-year-old. I was like, oh, she's funny and she's also not funny. What are you doing going to the theatre at 12? Oh, very arty parents. Yeah, that's impressive. Weirdly, yeah. The first time I wanted to perform was when I saw Nicola McAuliffe,

who's another favourite. Do you remember Surgical Spirit? Sure. She was into it. I thought she was so good in that. And I saw her play Lady Macbeth when I was four. Yeah. And I just, and she did the-

When you were four? Yeah, they took us to the Regents Park open air theatre. And you were always up for it. Because if I tried to get my children to do anything like that, I would never hear the end of it. Maybe it's because I've got an older brother. So he was eight. So it was like, well, he'll be fine.

So you'll just have to be fine. I wasn't really given a lot of choice. I don't remember. Nobody said, do you want to? It was like, we're going. And shush. Yeah, but you could have complained and complained. I was such a good child.

Were you? Yeah, until I was 10. Honestly, I just did everything. What happened when you were 10? Started taking heroin? My mum was doing stuff like, I did everything I was told because I was just really placid. And so they'd go, oh, Cariad's going to do this.

Oh, you're going to sit there. Oh, Cariad, she doesn't want that. And I'd be like, okay, cool. And I remember at 10, I genuinely remember thinking, I've had enough. Like a genuine, no, I don't want to do that. And how did you express your outrage? I just got very, very bolshie. I a genital. No, I don't want to do that. And how did you express your outrage? I just got very bolshie.

I started saying no. And my mum says she remembers me being like, whoa, but you do everything that we ask you to. That must have been a sad day. Yeah, she said it went downhill. She said it was like, they were like, oh, no. Because it is so great to have a really well-behaved child. Yeah, I mean, I have my moments, but like I just,

it never occurred it never occurred to me to disagree yeah so i was like oh okay i guess you guys know what you're doing she's found her own mind yeah yeah i did i've yeah exactly but your theater yeah enthusiasm persisted yeah i didn't want to i didn't grow up wanting to be a comedian were they actors your parents no no not at all i i artie's the wrong word like culturally engaged they were in a cult for a bit were they yeah what kind of cult oh god have you heard of the tory party no have you heard of est yes yes i would say that's it was a big thing in the 70s and they were big involved right they were very involved they were just very alternative and and my mom is my

mom's you watch the show the americans no i haven't i keep seeing it i don't know what it is it's about a russian spy couple who go and get married and live in america and bring up children who don't realize that their mom and dad are actually russian spies they're living as a sort of cheesy perfect american family oh and meanwhile mom and dad are actually Russian spies. They're living as a sort of cheesy, perfect American family. Oh, that sounds good. And meanwhile, mom and dad are going out and doing gruesome, appalling jobs for Russia, but believing that they're doing the right thing. It's quite good.

But at one point, the dad has a kind of, I hope this isn't too much of a spoiler. I don't think it is. The dad has a sort of crisis. I mean, they're constantly thinking, are we really doing the right thing? And he goes and he gets involved with Est because it's all set in the early 80s oh i love anything i've watched gilmore girls and they referenced est the other day yeah they someone couldn't leave the room they're like this isn't est i can go when i want and i literally my husband laughs i was like oh my god how do you characterize est then what's it all about what do

you do well est doesn't exist anymore. It's now Landmark Forum. It was never subsumed by scandal though, was it? Yes, massively. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, for sort of nasty reasons. Good. So, oh God. God's not going to help you now.

Just tell me about EST. If people listening who are involved in EST or Landmark Forum, I know vague details. I'm the child of these things, so anything I say is not libelous. They're not violent though by nature, are they, the EST kids? You don't want to mess with these things, do you? What do you call them, Estes? Formites, I guess, now.

So Estes was Erdhar seminar training. Erdhar? Yeah, Werner Erdhar is the guy who started it. And it's not as extreme as, say, who's the guy who invented Scientology? Oh, Hubbard, yeah. Hubbard. So he's a bit Hubbard-y, but not nearly as extreme. And I think it's hard for people to understand what it's like in the 70s.

My mom says, like, everyone was doing this shit. Sure, absolutely. Self-help stuff. Well, it was milder. A lot of people were going off and joining the Moonies. Yeah, yeah. There's another one called the Orange People. The Orange People.

And my mom went to S and she was like, I think she said, I think I did pretty well. S was quite like. But you go, you're in a hotel for the weekend and all the week. And it's about, they literally coined the term brainwashing and that was before brainwashing was a negative thing but bernard said like I want to wash your brain because I want to your brain is wired wrong and I want to help you wire it better so it was all done very positively a bit like clean eating now you know like loads of people do I'm clean eating and I think in 10 years time people go wow they were anorexic like we and we allowed that to be on instagram and we hashtagged that

and we celebrated that and it's think it's the same thing the self-help that strong extreme self-help of like locking yourself in a room for a weekend and yeah they were my parents were involved in loads of weird shit and you go up on stage and you confess things and there's a leader and you're not allowed to watch what's wrong with time because that's what how cults fuck your brain there's a 10 point list of what defines a cult and i think s met it but landmark forum doesn't meet it but a big thing is getting rid of time pieces so you can be in a room and you don't know what the time is so obviously it's it's just making you foggy it's making you confused you don't know what the daytime if it's day or night

so if i keep saying to you adam we need to talk about your parents. You need to talk about your parents, Adam. We need to get to the bottom of this. You don't know you've been here 10 hours. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a way of- It wouldn't work on me because I'm very uptight about time.

Yeah. So my parents were very involved in that. And were you aware? I mean, presumably you just thought, well, mum and dad's what they're doing. You didn't think it was weird, right? No. And then they were very involved in it before we were born. So my dad worked in PR.

And when S was coming over from America, they hired a PR company. He hired his PR company. So he did the PR to bring them over here. But they had this rule that if you worked for them, you had to do the course. So that's what happened. He was like, oh, sure, I'll do this course. And he came home and was like, oh, my God. It's wicked.

We've discovered the world. Everybody do this. Addictive personalities. So you, the children, was there anything that you had to do to be part of it? No, so we weren't part. So by the time my mum had kids, my mum got less and less involved because she's very working class. Is your mum still around?

Yes. So is this why you feel a bit weird talking about it? Yeah, possibly. But it's okay. Also, it's really hard to explain to people who don't know those things it makes you sound so mental whereas obviously i don't think you sound mental at all i find it really interesting so they were much more involved when it became forum they were still involved my dad was very much but when he died he was training to be a leader like to do the courses and my brother did the course as a teenager and

went slightly like tried to sign up the school to like oh he just drank the kool-aid he drank the kool-aid and now he's like why did you fucking make me do that you're like dude you what we couldn't stop you you went you were fully went there so what do you this this is the thing with all these organizations right it's very hard to communicate to people who are not part of them what you actually get from yeah it's really hard and it's really hard because it just i think if you've been brought up in a world where your parents didn't do anything like that yeah it just well my parents were members of other cults that didn't have names yeah okay yeah yeah and it's you know it's a lot of good stuff they help a lot of people if you have a lot of issues

that you know they make you confront stuff about yourself it's all about being honest extreme honesty it's where we grew up with extreme honesty so I now suffer from extreme honesty that I am grew up in this world where you would tell people I'm really upset with you because you said this and it made me feel like this and I want to apologize because I felt like this and now I'm expecting you to respond in a similar fashion at what age did you start talking like that to people? I haven't stopped talking like that. And it's got me into so much shit. Because my family was this world where we'd have family meetings every Sunday. From the age of four, I had a goal list.

Like, okay, what's your goals for this year? Let's talk about how we can make them happen. Let's achieve. Like all this very weird. I mean, that sounds kind of modern. I'm sure a lot of people. Yeah, it's actually, it is. It's quite modern

but it was quite a hardcore version like sure yeah and then for a four-year-old what'd you go write a novel you know it was like honestly I found it it's like tidy room more do washing up um don't row with Tom like my brother yeah that's fine yeah good girls and we they were they used to go to Fintorn which is like a sort of community in Scotland with like what's the word a kind of commune stuff we didn't get it all the time my mum is from a very working class cynical background so I don't know how she got involved in these things and the older we got the more she got oh fuck this this is fucking bullshit but my dad was very involved in these things and so when I got the real world and I would talk to people like that and and people would not react in that way they would be like what the fuck is your problem weirdo and I'd be like but we've just been honest

what's where's everybody I don't understand like so yeah it's quite hard I think it's quite hard to be friends with me did you ever have in your head like if you're really honest did you ever enjoy just pushing people's buttons by being able to talk to them like that? I think my family, there is a dynamic of pushing buttons. And there is a, yeah, there is an enjoyment in that. But it comes from a place of love of like, so the way me and my brother talk to each other is very, it can be really extremely honest when we argue a lot. But it's always from because I love you. I'm telling you the way you behave like that last night caused this problem and it made me feel like this I mean to me that sounds like a useful way of communicating because you're stripping away if those things don't get

said yeah and if they get misunderstood then they fester and they end up causing much bigger problems so I think that is useful I mean too much of it is deadening yeah I've had to learn to turn it down yeah because i definitely had it i had i was turning up to 11 and then when i hit the real world and i've said this to my mom of like you made it like this is the way to live your life be honest but you never warned us oh but by the way other people have their bullshit and they need it and it's not your job to take that away right i mean this is the other thing that unless you're part of a cult that is actually going out and harming people you know

everyone's got their little cranky ways of organizing themselves and getting through you know we're all just trying to find a system that works so and did that make for a close relationship with your parents yes and no uh my dad was very good at the talk and not so good at the the actual following. Yeah. So me and my brother would get annoyed because he'd be like, okay, but you've made us apologize and you've made us, but you're still, you haven't apologized. And we're like, yeah, yeah.

But I don't need to. I'm the king. What? Yeah, exactly. There was a lot of that. So yeah, I had a very antagonistic relationship with him. Definitely. My brother hates it. Like he he's like i'll never raise

my kids like that it's fucking bullshit why the hell will we put up but i'm much more like hey it wasn't so bad there were some good things for it absolutely so you'll want to have a close communicative relationship with your child i can't this is how i communicate with people that's why being if you are my friend it's very intense it can be annoying i'm sure i don't know how to communicate on a light level. I find it quite difficult. As this conversation has proved, like I get there very quickly. I like it.

I mean, I think it's fun because it's, well, obviously the problem with it is that some people find it too much. And I suppose the danger is that you end up just focusing too much on things that actually it's not useful to focus on. You have to just get on with the business. And sometimes it's just, sometimes it's just okay. That's the lesson I have. I feel like when you know and you feel like you're getting older,

I feel like I spent some time like, okay, well, what's the solution? How can we fix this? How can we talk about this? And I'm getting better at going, it's just all right. It doesn't need a three-hour conversation, Carrie-Anne. You know what? It's fine. They pissed you off.

They don't need a three hour conversation, Cariad. You know what? It's fine. They pissed you off. They don't need to know. Thank you. this time last year you and i talked for your podcast grief cast grief cast yes i interviewed comedians about death their experience of grief essentially and you did a brilliant episode so i was very grateful that you came and talked to me about because it was so soon after your dad had died it was a couple of months after my pa died yeah and even less time after bowie died yeah and we were both still reeling from both of those yeah and i my idea was so my dad died when i was 15 and because of the way I was brought up I've I talk about grief a lot and I thought everyone did and then I slowly realized they don't and so I've thought it'd be really interesting to talk to comedians in different stages of grief which is why I was so

grateful that you came on because I thought oh it'd be so good to talk to someone who's who's just in the middle of it because when people listen if they are in the middle of it to hear someone else go oh oh they feel like oh okay I'll be all right you know that tiny piece of hope that you need and i talk to other people who was years ago or two years trying to get as many snapshots as i can as possible and at the moment it's comedians because i know comedians yeah and um as you know you have with your podcast i'm sure it's like who should i ask and i think comedians that some people i think get frustrated like why have all these podcasts got comedians well it's like, who should I ask? And I think comedians that some people I think get frustrated, like why have all these podcasts got comedians?

Well, it's partly, as you say, because we know a lot of comedians because we're in that world, but also because comedians are quite good apart from being very self-involved and they enjoy talking about themselves. They're, they're often quite good at talking. Yeah. They're good at talking. And I, I really didn't want it to be depressing. Yeah.

I wanted it to just be a very honest, extremely honest talk about grief and what happens, but not be like, oh, I didn't want people to listen and go, fuck, that's awful. I want people to go, oh, shed a laugh. Yeah. So it wasn't so bad. So yeah, I was trying to give a tiny,

well, it sounds really wanky, but like a bit of hope so that you could listen to it. Yeah, well, exactly. It's all about reaching out and sort of holding hands with people isn't it just saying that we're in this together yeah and i just a little bit i mean everyone has different experiences obviously yeah and grief is so unique and personal but there are these massive chunks that overlap i think especially in the uk i mean probably in america there's slightly different culture and actually they're more used

to talking about these things but i interesting a friend who works a lot in america spoke to you the other day and she said they don't talk about death oh do they not no they talk about their feelings their emotions yeah but death is still i think they have the same kind of um protestant christian that kind of western europe mindset of death is still a bit taboo and not not to be taboo yeah well i mean talk about my dad again he certainly was one of those people who i remember him saying like you shouldn't joke about death and things like that and i was like why not what difference does it make they don't speak ill of the dead and yeah and the idea that even talking about them is a bit of a and he said

well because it's a very it should be a very solemn thing but i never understood i always felt like the fundamental thing about it is that you know it's frightening and surely if you talk about things like that and if you laugh about them especially then it's comforting and it feels less terrifying maybe other people have more you know they like all the solemnity and they like all the hushed voices i think it's just about being sensitive yeah like if somebody if that's what they want their their grief and their death to be about i would not invite them onto my show to talk about it and joke about it you know i'm continuing to do grief class at the moment and people i speak

to want to laugh about it want to talk about it want to share those I really love talking to you about it it was really comforting and you were very good to talk to but it is weird because I felt way worse after like later in the year yeah I I just thought oh well this is going to be okay because my dad was old you know and and it wasn't a shock it wasn't like you I want to talk to you about your losing your par I'm like nearly 50 um and it wasn't a surprise but actually it's just got weirder and harder and I'm still when I was talking to you I was quoting Chris Hardwick from the Nerdist as being one of the few people that I had heard talking about losing their fathers and he um not glibly but he he just sort of tossed off this figure of oh it takes two years yeah two years to get over it's like when people

would say to get over someone you love you know you double the amount of time that you went out yeah and I always found that that was sort of that rang true a little bit for me so I'm still in the two-year window according to the chris hardwick scale but i i mean i having done all these interviews now people who 15 years five years two years a couple of months and it and it obviously it depends on so many things and circumstances it does but grief is not well i'm not a doctor but grief is not something hell are you doing i know doing a podcast i was like you emailed me said if you do you know what you're doing i was like i really don't i just

like talking about but it's so i don't think you put a number on it no i'm coming up to the 20th year which shocks the hell out of me my mom said it and i was like what 20 no that can't be right because it doesn't it seems like less it seems like less, it seems like more. And I still get upset. And I think that's the thing with grief. It's, it doesn't magically go away. It gets easier. That's all I ever say to people. And that I think the two, the two year where people, the reason people throw that figure around

are like the two years are the really fucking awful bit. A bit like I think with a baby, people have said to me, oh, those first three months, whoa. You can get through that. Yeah. And I can see it. You know, we're about to hit the end of three months and you can, oh yeah, okay i can see it you know we're about to hit the

end of three months and you think oh yeah okay i can see what people meant by that and what they mean by those two years is they are they are really painful and it gets easier but you still have those moments of pain they're not it doesn't ever go the thing that i found that i mean it's so clearly bound up with a kind of general midlife yeah of course crisis or whatever you want to call it but it's a kind of weird um base note of melancholy you know that never quite lifts yeah and it's really nice it lifts when you're with other people and friends and things like that and you and you can forget but then when you're on your own and you're just pottering around yeah it's just like oh oh, I'm sad.

Yeah. But it's like a break. Like the reason people compare it sometimes to breakups. Like you just got to go through it. Yeah. I'd forgotten, you see. I'd forgotten what it was like to be sad. Yeah.

I know. Isn't it shocking? I have a great fun life and I've got, you know, I'm lucky in so many ways. Oh, you think you know what it's like to be sad. Like, oh, I didn't get that thing. I was sad. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, no. That's right. I'd forgotten what sad feels like to be sad like oh i didn't get that thing i was sad and then you're like oh no that's right i've forgotten what sad feels exactly right yeah

yeah it's like you you get pissed off yeah yeah you're annoyed or you occasionally get a bit blue if something weird happens but yeah but yeah you just have to go through the sad yeah that's it and there's you just got to ride it. And again, someone tweeted me. I tweeted about Griefcast and I said, oh, I'm really sorry there's a delay. I've had a baby. And someone tweeted me and said, oh, I don't know if this is helpful,

but having a baby is very similar to losing someone. I think you're about to go through a similar situation. And at the time I was like, what? And now I'm like, oh, it's so similar. This arrival of a new person forces their their their place in your world and the loss of someone you're left with the gap and having a baby it's it just takes fucking time to get your head around it and losing someone just take and it's such a cliche but that's it you just got to ride it out keep going like I said just keep getting dressed and

that's that's basically all you can do and i feel like some old war soldier like 20 years but there's people who've done longer than that and i still see how sad they they get about it but i think that's also testament to the person you know if you you're sad because they were great and you miss them if you weren't it would be it would be sad it's weird though it's a real mixture of things isn't it it's partly about that person but it's also partly about yourself i find well i guess this is maybe the midlife crisis of thinking like oh you know am i just on the downhill slide yeah yeah there is well it does make you think of your own death of course it does yeah and how you're going to deal with it

and you and i talked about that on on your grief cast so what are you okay just to sort of talk about your parlor yeah yeah yeah i mean you were 15 is that right i was 15 yeah and it was pretty out of the blue as well yeah he was extremely healthy uh he ran lots of marathons the other thing they were i mean my parents were into big into being into things so they used to run loads of marathons all over the world. And he was part of the World Runners Movement, which used to travel the world running marathons and raising money for charity. He was training for an Ironman. So he was a healthy person.

He wanted to build a metal suit and fight people from the air. I watched that film and I got confused. They weren't in wetsuits and getting into the water in the Hyde Park. And people going, come on, you can do it. Because that's what I spent my Sundays doing. Yes, he did triathlons. He ran marathons. Very healthy.

I mean, not like, I don't know, like he enjoyed life. You know, like he didn't eat perfectly. Yeah, he didn't eat that well. And he smoked and took a load of drugs when he was younger. no he was the most unhealthy man yeah yeah but he was very like so he was 44 right yeah and then he he turned yellow and so he got touched everyone thought he had like over the course of a week or something yeah something like that it's hard for me to remember because i was younger and they thought he had jaundice and he went to hospital and then and then they were like eventually they thought oh they said it's liver cancer so we're going to start chemotherapy

and then they were like oh it's actually secondary liver it's pancreatic cancer which is it's just the worst it's basically there's not you can't get a transplant there's not much they can do so yeah he got diagnosed in february and he was dead by the april and then i had my gcses like the next month that's all I remember so and you get any extra time you know what they you don't get extra time but they take it into consideration they give you a better grade they take they take it into consideration and somebody at school I did really well and someone did say they didn't mean it because I'm a teenager someone said to me I wonder that's because your dad died because I had all these a stars yeah and that's what it should say in brackets like a little dd

and i remember being like well they're a stars so they only got bumped up from a thinking like i did a five no one expected me anyway i didn't care how weird i'm still proud i'm still proud because it was such a shit time of course yeah i mean you must have been frightened you must have been yeah it was just I think when it happens that quickly this is funny this is like grief cast for the other way for me yeah I don't yeah turn the tables a little bit yeah it's all good um I think because it's so quick it's just in shock really I think it's just really in shock and because I was 15 and I was quite a young 15 I mean I was sassy but I wasn't I was a bit naive you know and I came from there it was a

very loving family and very again very sort of middle class 2.4 children like I had yeah everything was great and everything you know we had a lovely house and everything was wonderful and my dad ran his own business and it's like a couple of businesses have gone under but like we were basically fine and so I think it was just the shock of my world completely dead upside down and then my his dad my grandfather died six months later like essentially of a broken heart no one quite admitted but he literally yeah just couldn't and that was I found that really hard because it was just like your pillars going so literally pre my dad being ill I had like you know my dad my grandpa my uncle they'd come around every every weekend every it was this this family and then it just went boom gone dad

gone grandpa gone like obviously the uncle's completely devastated suddenly no one's coming around suddenly you just like everything's gone and you don't have this you just don't have your world anymore so I think that's I think I just was in shock for about a year really how was your ma yeah she was okay I mean you know the older I get the more I feel for her because when you're 15 you're just like oh mum's sad because dad's died but when you get married and you go oh my god are you married yes I now I'm married and I've got a kid oh which is still weird um you know you start thinking oh how would I feel if that happened to me I can't even say it and I start looking at my mom going the fuck you had to deal with and you had two kids and he'd run this business and

had done everything and it makes me feel sick now whereas when I was younger obviously I just didn't understand at all and I can see with my my grandparents they did they were just my grandpa just he just fought around the whole time and he just kept saying it's not right carry head it's not right and then he died he just literally went no i don't want to be here yeah so that was really were you able to be with your par at the end and and yeah was that comforting or was it just very traumatic i think maybe this is why i'm obsessed with grief because I just find it weird. It was just weird. I just couldn't get my head around it.

I find life sometimes, you know what I mean? Like you're just like, what the? No, it's mainly weird. What's going on? So he was in hospice at the end because they knew. He had chemo, which he shouldn't have done. They should have just said, there's no chance. But of course, when you're in that position, you're like, oh, yeah, well, anything will take anything.

And then they said it's not very long. So he went to the hospice. So we were all with him. And I mean, that day, my mum said, we need to go to the hospice. And I was like, oh, I don't want to go. I don't want to go today. And she was like, I think you should. And I was like, because I just, you know, you can't really understand.

So when he, yeah, it was, I'm glad that we were, you know you can't really understand so when he yeah it wasn't I'm glad that we were you know we were all around but he didn't really know what was going on obviously um but that was that was the first time I saw a dead body I saw someone die I was 15 I've since seen other people die and seen dead bodies and I was I said we had my grandpa's funeral then several other relatives died and for about two years we just had a succession of funerals yeah but I think it was so now I see like it influenced me so much obviously because I just I was surrounded by grief surrounded by people grieving surrounded by death what were the worst bits then what continued to be the most painful parts about it when does it really get you if you can it got me having a kid yeah you really got only recently

because you never got to see yeah that's actually that's something just very recently that kind of shocked me because i was like again i did the thing this is the thing grieving people do so i said to my husband i'm because he's he's lost both his parents so he was very he was like oh it's so sad and I was like I don't know I'm okay because it's 20 years and you you really believe it right you're saying it and my husband was looking at me like okay and I was like no it's fine like I never thought he'd be around anyway and then just a couple of days ago I was like fuck he didn't get to be a grandpa it's silly little things like that that just make you go, and it is like, it's like a wound in your chest.

And then it's like someone froze salt and lemon juice at the same time. And it goes, it suddenly goes. And then you're like, oh, I'm okay, I'm all right. But that moment is as fresh as it was at 15. It's like, how? That's what I mean about time.

Now I can have that moment. I can feel so sad. 10 minutes later,'m like i'm okay because i've had so many years of those sad moments so you get you get really good at handling it's gonna pass yeah you know it's gonna pass you know you'll be all right you know it's just in a minute something will distract you and you you lose the guilt you lose oh god i'm now i'm happy maybe that what does that mean and you're like maybe that's what YouTube is for so that you can look at like epic fails and yeah it is you just need to yeah things pass so quickly that face plant right on the concrete but that's the great thing also about having a baby

it's like in the middle of me discovering I was upset about my dad my baby did this giant fart like literally like and she was just looking i was going and it was really long and she was smiling and yeah and i thought and i said good timing really good timing i thought that's that's excellent thank you can't beat a fart gag and she just she came in right just as i was really sobbing you know like i was reading someone trashing someone online the other day saying oh typical um middle class toilet humor and pouring scorn on the whole idea that you would ever laugh at that stuff I was like come on mate that is useful stuff I did a QI where I talked about my family's history of farting yeah it just spilled out and I was like I've got to stop doing it because there's nothing funnier

you have to have a farty family to appreciate the humor. Like sometimes people are funny about it. I think, oh, your family didn't fart around each other. They didn't sit on each other's heads and fart. You know, my brother used to fart under the duvet and put the duvet over my head. Sure, Dutch oven. Yeah, that was a normal Saturday morning. Great, great stuff. Yeah, you know, you'd do that, watch the TV, have some chocolate wheat toast.

Sometimes, I remember friends of mine said they'd do that, watch the TV, have some chocolate wheat toast. Sometimes. I remember friends of mine said they would do that with their girlfriends. Oh, yeah. And I always thought, that's not romantic. No, that's not nice. That's not nice. I don't, I suppose because that's what I do with my family. That's family time.

Exactly. Farts and sex should be kept absolutely separate, I think. Well, unless you get the fanny fart as soon as i said it i thought actually that's not practical the fanny fart situation and as a woman there's nothing you can do about it i can't believe i'm talking about this but there's nothing you can do about it do you acknowledge it when it happens i laugh i can't help i just farts make me laugh so much it's what annoys me is women get embarrassed so when you're a teenager it's like oh my god so embarrassing it's actually something your fault you're not the one shoving air up you are you it gets shoved up

you it's got to come out that is true yeah and then it's like you're like you have to be embarrassed you shouldn't be embarrassed yeah you should be like well that was your fault i didn't ask for the fart post now i'm delivering it you ordered the letters here they are anyway i thought you were calling a man's appendage a fart post. Wait. This is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success. Yes, success.

The way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes. It looks very professional. I love browsing your videos and pics and I don't want to stop. And I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop. These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, use the offer code Buxton to save 10 off your first

purchase of a website or domain so put the smile of success on your face with squarespace yes continue Yes. Continue. Continue. Hey, welcome back, podcats. Cariad Lloyd there. Thank you very much to her for giving up her time to speak to me. She's a wonderful person. And I do encourage you to check out Griefcast if you haven't done so already. Said a lot of good guests on there.

Sarah Pascoe and Jade Adams, who've also been on this podcast, of course. Robert Webb, David Baddiel, Michael Legg, Sam Bain, Adam Buxton. They've all been on Griefcast too. Oh my goodness. I'm just going to stand still and rotate in 360 degrees and feel the breeze. Oh, it's so nice. I just ate an orange as well. It was delicious. Hard to beat a delicious orange. I don't know if I've talked about this before, have I? I've forgotten now. I know I've talked about jazz apples before.

navel orange and it had quite thin skin a bit like me but inside also like me it was sweet and delicious and overall one of the best experiences anyone could hope to have because conversely there's nothing more disappointing than a bad orange once you've done all the work of peeling that fruity fellow then you bite into a segment and find it's all dry at the ends. That's just tragic. Anyway, I'm glad to say that wasn't the case this time. Wow, I bet you're happy you're listening to the outro link, aren't you? This is the kind of stuff you've been missing out on. Webby Awards news.

Well, there's not much news the last few episodes i've been imploring you podcasts to cast your vote for me in the best interview category of the american internet webby awards and for the last couple of weeks on the website when you vote you were able to see who was ahead and Alec Baldwin was in first place with about 36% of the vote and I was trailing in second place with 34% of the vote, around about. Then Oprah and the Sex, Death and Money podcast were in third and fourth place, I think. So it was looking close. The votes are now closed and the winners of the Webbys will be announced this week, 24th of April. So I'll let you know on next week's podcast what the outcome was and whether this podcast wins or loses in its category.

I was very touched by how many of you got in touch and said that you had cast your vote. So, yeah, cheers. A couple of podcast recommendations. Not particularly adventurous recommendations because they're both podcasts that are indirectly related to me. But just a heads up in case you've missed them. The Smirsh pod is hosted by comedy writer John Rain. And normally he and a guest will talk in minute detail about a James Bond film. But then every now and again he does side specials which have some connection to the world of James Bond.

In this case Taffin of course stars a former Bond in the form of Pierce Brosnan. And many of you will be familiar with Taffin having listened to me and Joe on BBC Six Music playing that clip, the Maybe You Shouldn't Be Living Here clip, which we played to death on there. And that and many other classic moments from the film Taffin are poured over in probably excessively minute detail

with myself and John on SmirshPod. And the other podcast that I just want to flag, again, slightly redundantly, because I imagine almost all of you will be familiar with it already. But just in case you're not, Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre podcast, on which I've appeared three times, I think. It's always good fun. But it continues to be one of my favourite podcasts to listen to, whoever's on. There was a great episode with Catherine Ryan the other day. And last week, it was Brian Blessed, the actor, known, of course, as Voltan from the 80s version of Flash Gordon. Amongst other things, of course. Gordon, amongst other things, of course. And over the years of doing the Rahalestapa podcast,

Richard Herring has talked many times about how much he would love to interview Brian Blessed. I think just because, you know, he's a ludicrous figure. And it's fun to do his voice, the Brian Blessed voice. But what I didn't realize is how much he fucking swears he fucking swears an awful fucking lot and i think various guests on richard's podcast had told him stories entertaining stories about crazy things that brian blessed had said or done and within just a few seconds of brian blessed finally coming out onto the stage and richard talking him, you get a sense that he is more or less completely off the chain. It was very entertaining and I felt really happy for Richard that he'd finally got him on there. Rosie! Come on, let's head back.

Ah, here she comes. Are you hot? Yeah yeah i'm boiling i'm just gonna go back i'm gonna drill into my bowl and then put some ice cubes in and then just drink up all the drill it's gonna be really nice that sounds good can i join you yeah sure yeah that's pretty much it for this week thank you very much indeed to carrie ad lloyd once again for appearing on the podcast to seamus murphy mitchell for his production support to jack bushell for additional editing on this episode to a cast for hosting the podcast and most most importantly, thanks to you. You've listened right to the end, which makes you great. And thanks again if you voted in the webbies.

And even if you didn't, come on, let's hug. Come on, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug. Yeah, I know, I'm a little bit smelly. I'm going to go back, take a shower. Till next time, be nice to yourself and all of those people around you, even if some of them are dicks. I love you. Bye! Bye. Subscribe, please like and subscribe. Give me a little smile and a thumbs up. Nice, like a five, put me thumbs up.

Give me a little smile and a thumbs up. Nice, like a five, put me thumbs up. Please like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. Give me a little smile and a thumbs up. Give me a little smile and a thumbs up.

Give me a little smile and a thumbs up. Thank you. you