THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.82 - TASH DEMETRIOU

Episode Date: November 3, 2018

Adam welcomes back his friend, British actor, comedian and writer Tash Demetriou to the podcast and tries out some ill advised ‘bants’ in the course of talking about her part in ’Stath Lets Flats’ with her brother Jamie, painful break ups, becoming an angry ‘womon’, appearing in the TV version of Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clements’ vampire mockumentary ’What We Do In The Shadows’Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production support and Matt Lamont for additional editing.Music and jingles by Adam Buxton RELATED LINKS‘STATH’ COMEDY BLAPhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RVMEe2zPW4‘STAH LETS FLATS’ ON 4ODhttps://www.channel4.com/programmes/stath-lets-flats‘IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE’ TRAILERhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewe4lg8zTYA‘WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS’ FILM TRAILERhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn__CFBgLEkBBC TO AIR ‘WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS’ TV SERIEShttps://www.radiotimes.com/news/tv/2018-11-02/bbc-stakes-its-claim-to-vampire-series-what-we-do-in-the-shadows/ASMR - 5 YOUTUBE VIDEOS WITH ASMR TRIGGERShttps://www.makeuseof.com/tag/5-youtube-videos-that-will-give-you-asmr-shivers/HIP HOP EVOLUTION SERIES 2 TRAILERhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9Rs15Fjwo4 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening I took my microphone and found some human folk Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan. Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here. Thanks very much indeed for joining me once again on the podcast.

It is a very beautiful evening out here. Oh look, there's the lark. You can hear it hanging around above the field. The techno bird. On an earlier podcast this year, I played quite a good section of techno warbling from one of the larks. It's a beautiful sunny evening, even though it's quite cold. But the larks are having fun wow wish

you could be out here with me not you you're a bit of a weirdo but uh the rest of you it's so beautiful at this time of year anyway listen you're busy i'm busy tell us about the podcast buckles okay podcast number 82 features a sometimes serious, but more often silly conversation, spry spry, with British actor, comedian, and writer, Tash Dimitriou. Yay! Tash has been on the podcast before,

and she's a friend. It's always a great pleasure to see Tash. She's one of the funniest and nicest people I know. And our conversation included talking about her part in Staff Let's Flats the sitcom she appeared in alongside the show's creator who's also her brother Jamie Dimitriou our conversation was recorded in London

back in April of this year 2018 so the show hadn't gone out at that point, but when it did go out on Channel 4, it was very warmly received, and hopes are high for a second series next year, although that hasn't been confirmed as I speak. We also talked about painful breakups, why Tash's love for the film classic It's a Wonderful Life recently turned to anger getting a part in the tv version of taika waititi and jermaine clement's vampire mockumentary what we do in the shadows which she is filming out in canada as i speak i got a text from her yesterday saying she was out there and finally tash told me about her fascination with Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, or ASMR,

which meant, at the time we spoke, that she was obsessed with slime. It's why she likes me. But our conversation began with me getting uptight about time, or specifically, my very important worries, which I've shared on this podcast before, about how best to say what year it is. It's one of the big questions facing us in the modern world. Here we go! Bye. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, you say it? 2018. I've been saying 2010, 2012, 2014, 2010. 2018.

Yeah, 2018. Someone just tweeted the other day like, mate, you're quite happy right the way through the 20th century to say 19 and then the number. Now, why is it different now? 2019. number now why is it different now 2000 2019 it all went wrong with 2000 and 2001 because the fucking film the kubrick film was 2001 and the year 2000 it was the year you don't 20 hundred exactly you know you don't call it 20 00 20 oh yeah it's weird i i like to bring everything back to david bowie whenever possible and i was clearing out a shed today and found a box full of old magazines, many of which don't exist anymore, one of which was called Icon Magazine.

Do you even remember Icon Magazine? Oh, yeah, I edited it. So sad for it when it folded. Gutted. And there was an interview with Bowie from around 95, and they were talking about the end of the century and what's it going to be like and is everything going to fall apart and actually he was saying no it's it's going to be fine everything's just going to carry on as normal and the only thing I'm worried

about is how are we going to say the dates after the year you know we'll say the year 2000 but then what's going to happen I was like yes I've been thinking the same thing david you are almost david bowie in many ways in many ways so how do you say i'm back she's back are you just waiting for an opportunity i'm back i'm back how do you say the year i'm back um i know how do i say the year so um it's 2018 yeah i do this is the 2017 2016 2015 2015 there was a change last year 2017 2018 yeah but you know i'm gonna say 2020 right it's the year 2020 it's 2020 and there's going to be a tv program called 2020 vision yeah 20 hi welcome to the year 20 and 20. The 13th of April, 20 and 20, 2020. No, it's going to be, it's 2018 and I'm loving it. Good things are happening. I'm loving it. So what have you been doing since I last saw you? What have I been doing? Let's think. What have I been up to? Cleaning. One of my flatmates

has moved out and I was cleaning a lot of her bottles of vinegar that she left behind. What was she doing with the vinegar? Was she cooking with it or drinking it? I don't know. I live with a lot of freaks and lovely freaks. Are they okay to be called freaks? They're probably not okay with it, but I am. Yeah, yeah.

No, basically I live in like a shared flat and it's weird how many bottles of vegetable oil and vinegar you amass because some people drink it right no no not cider vinegar we're talking red and white oh okay we're talking is cider vinegar the only one that you can drink I think so unless you've got an insanely fascinating taste palette that you're chugging pints of red wine vinegar have you ever drunk cider vinegar every day do you seriously no i i did for a while i'm so um what you call it thick thick that's the one yeah i was looking for that word i'm very thick so whenever um that was that was a fun joke i'm crying no i am i'm incredible that is the base of it i'm thick i can't help i sit around waiting for people to tell me what i should be doing i'm the same i'm incredible that is the base of it i'm thick i can't help i sit around waiting for people

to tell me what i should be doing i'm the same i'm doing yeah anyway yeah things have been really going well for me so i thought today was the day that i take some time get on my hands and knees and polish off the vinegar bottles go through them check the use by dates in your head you're like why have i got 16 bottles of red wine vinegar in this tiny kitchen in a dusty corner and why do they get so sticky they're in a cupboard i think i can tell you why they get so sticky because it's all the cooking mist i'm going to use all the technical terms here yeah when you cook shit right you get like cooking mist and it goes up and it turns into sort of stickiness. And then it drops on other shit. But it's in the cupboard.

It gets everywhere. It does. It gets everywhere. And it's so sticky. And I was, I mean. It's horrible. Kitchen fumes. Kitchens are a nightmare.

They are. That's why you need an extractor fan. Yeah, we have a fake one. I don't know what the landlord was talking. We have an extractor fan that has the buttons and everything. But I don't know if it's just like psychosomatic. You can feel like you're extracting, but hey, girls, you're not going to be extracting anything. It just doesn't work.

I wonder if I stayed in the kitchen for ages, whether I would just, if I lived in a cupboard, whether I'd get really sticky. Does your extractor fan just not work then they told us when we moved in it's not by the way as this done in my landlord's french this does not work it's a fake it's cosmetic this one is a fake he just went and then he ran off giggling with our with our tenancy agreement. Hey. We used to have a corner of the kitchen where, because my wife, my wife, would use red wine. Like back in the day, we're trying to eat less red meat. I've gone off on a load of tangents here. Me too. And back in the day when it would be spag bog every night or every other night, there would be a lot of red wine being tossed around and

and then you would end up with just sort of uh bottles of red wine with about a fifth left in it you know what i mean that would just accumulate you think i'll keep that keep that we won't throw that because you can use that for cooking yeah use it yeah yeah cooking and then you know you open another bottle of wine have a couple couple of glasses, a bit left over. Keep that. Use that for the sauce. And until there was, I'm not joking, about 12 bottles of wine with a bit left in there.

Have a party. From years and years ago. But they were all like with dust and with the slime. Dirty wine party. That's what you're going to do. Filthy wine party. Welcome. It's mucky wine night.

Everyone gets sick, but everyone gets drunk. That would be good with lots of hipster hobos hanging out. Yeah, mucky wine. Oh my God, this mucky wine is fantastic. And you drink it in a potty? You drink it in a pot. Oh, I was thinking you get dirty wine glasses, you don't wash them, and then you turn them upside down,

you just put a tiny bit on the sort of flat bottom of the wine you just lick it off okay i love licking up this mucky wine adam throws the best party that's gonna be the phrase isn't it so yeah we had loads of that but this is a good segue yeah talking about fake extractors fake extractors because you and your brother jamie are doing a thing all about landlords, right? Yes. Oh, my God. That is a fantastic. That's quite good, isn't it?

That's a fantastic segue. You didn't even think of that. I'm good at this. Yeah. So me and Jamie, Jamie wrote a show called Staff Let's Flats for Channel 4. Well, for E4. And it's just been, we've just been told it's going to be on Channel 4. Which was a comedy blap.

It was a comedy blap. It was a comedy blap. Which apparently, do we know, has anyone talked to you about where the name blaps came from? It's sick, actually. I don't think I want that. It's a bit of disgusting sexual slang, isn't it? Yeah. It's a word for a very disrespectful bit of sex play. Mm-hmm.

Slapping your willy on a desk. Oh, is it on a desk oh i i thought oh i mean that's bad that i mean yeah i mean it's just all this stuff oh it would be bad anywhere yeah it's just bad like a desk is bad pretty much anywhere would be bad desk isn't as bad as some places but it's bad no it's not let's agree on that no it's bad so No, it's not. Let's agree on that. No, it's bad. So, yeah, so he made it, I mean, like six years ago, five years ago, as a series of three shorts where he played lots of different characters. And one of them was Stath, an estate agent, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Basically, yeah, it's taken a little while, but we finally made it.

We filmed it, finished filming it mid-November, I think, last year, 20 and 17. Yeah. And it was the most fun of my life. At the end of 20 and 17, we were at... Who do you play? So me and Jamie play brother and sister. Yeah. He plays Stath, I play Sophie.

And I mean, come on, it's based entirely on... It's just, you know, my dad's Cypriot and it's based on our sort of the North London Greek stuff that we grew up with. And then also this whole new element of estate agents, because I mean, estate agents are, they're garbage. Well, they're not all garbage, but they, I mean, they are. They're like, I don't like, you know, they're doing a plonkers game. I mean, Jamie's character, Stath, is, I mean, he is such an idiot. Like, we've seen it now.

They've cut it together and we've watched it all. I absolutely love it. Like, it's really... The pilot is one of the funniest things ever. Have you seen it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, yeah. So I...

Not the pilot, but the blap. So it feels like such a good thing, I think, because it's like a character comedy written by a character comedian cast with character comedians and comedians like most of the parts you're like oh that's my friend who's a comedian like you know so much tv that's made nowadays is comedy there'll be like a comedian at the heart of it and then it's lots of actors and actresses and I'm not saying actors and actresses aren't funny. Sounds like it. But they ain't funny. Guess what? They ain't as funny as comedians.

I don't know. It felt like a very special, stupid time in my life and I was, and like, you know, I'm doing it with my brother who I, he's my best friend

and I fancy him. Nice. You know, and like Ellie White, who's my comedy partner, she played like my best friend in it. Is Liam Williams still in it? Liam's in it. I mean, and like Ellie White, who's my comedy partner, she played like my best friend in it. Is Liam Williams still in it? Liam's in it.

I mean, Al Roberts, who plays my sort of love interest, is one of the funniest human beings. I mean, I can't express with words. Is Adam Buxton in it? Uh, I thought he was quite busy doing podcasts. Wait, you didn't even ask him? He definitely would have done it. And he would have been amazing.

Maybe you're wrong. Maybe he is in it. Yeah, maybe. I should just check. I should just probably check. I mean, there's things you can do with technology nowadays. I'm not saying we can't CGI you into every scene. I'm not saying we can't, but I'm also not saying we can or we should.

every scene i'm not saying we can't but i'm also not saying we can or we should i like the noise you made when i asked if adam buxton was in stat what's that noise static i was trying to be like the microphone is cut out and then i was thinking in my head how do you make with my mouth the noise of someone being like like footsteps running away and then and the door's shut and a car drives off i can do a sound effect okay yeah do that so so you ask me that and then do the sound effect is adam buxton in staff come back here she comes hey sorry sorry oh sorry i just had a doctor's appointment oh yeah staff that sounds great. It's called Stathlets Flats now because...

Stathlets Flats. Because it's so funny. Me and Jamie were recently in America together because we're legends. Yeah. And him trying to explain it to American people. So it's Stathlets Flats. Stath is not a name that everyone knows in England. But in America, they don't have lets up there.

Uh-huh. And they don't have lets out there and they don't have flats what he he's sorry he's what with a with a flat white like a coffee and what's a stack staff staff it would have to be called greek boy rents apartments so yeah so it's it was gonna be called staff... It sounds a bit like Staph, as in Staph infection as well. That's interesting. I've never heard of that. Thank you. Astathios is the name of the character, but in Greek, it's such a good name for the character, though. It's like the noise of it. Stath.

All right, I'm Stath. It works so well. He's Stath. Stath. But you could mishear it as Stath. Oh, God, you could, big time. I mean... Staphylococcus aureus. Stop listing names of diseases. It's a group of bacteria that can cause a multitude of diseases.

Stop talking about bacteria. So you don't want to... This is my brother and my big break. You have to stop renaming bacteria. No, it is obviously... Would he have gone back and called himself Tony? Maybe. Yeah.

I don't want to speak on his behalf. But, yeah, the name thing was a worry. When's it going to be on? They don't know yet. There's no official date, which is very useful for this. But I think they're waiting. Maybe never. Well, yeah, maybe.

Fingers crossed. I'd like to keep it sort of private to myself. It's a shame he hasn't got Adam Buxton. Otherwise, it would definitely be on and do really well. Yeah, what? Just do an audio version of it. Oh. Psych. Sorry, you? Just do an audio version of it. Oh. Psych.

Sorry, you do podcasts and mainly that. I'm sorry. Ouch. Anyway, listen, good luck with it. Thank you. Don't be disappointed if it sinks without a trace. That's often what happens with the best of things. I mean, some great things have sunk without a trace.

So don't get all depressed about it. There's no need. You've got meaner this past year. I'm just getting you back. I've never tried doing that before. It doesn't sit very well, does it? No. I'm not used to being mean.

I'm not good at it. No, you're too sweet. You're too much of a lovely... Also, if I started, it would be like the dam bursting. I just go fucking crazy. all the anger would come out I do feel more angry definitely these days do you yeah why I just as you get older I mean it's such a boring thing to say but I just am like yeah he's falling asleep sorry carry on but I don't know if it's the time I mean this is getting very serious very quickly. But like, I think I realised that being angry as I get older is, oh, no, it's not.

It's not helpful. But it's like, I guess with all the stuff that's come out, like all the sort of awareness in the, you know, in the industry with like the way women are treated and the horrible stuff that's come out has definitely made me reflect on my life and it's made me angry in that I was talking to my friend about this stuff and it was like I realized that my I've recently broken up with someone oh mate yeah and it's fine it's like very the most like mature healthy lovely respectful breakup ever but it's you know you reflect on your relationship past you reflect on everything that's happened in your life blah blah makes you reflect reflect reflect of course cry cry cry sleep in the bin sleep in the bin so I was I was just like all my relation and this has actually nothing to do with the past relationship I had which was very

healthy and loving and great but it made me be like my whole life every all what where's my what's my point my point is is that I watched It's a Wonderful Life at Christmas and now you're furious yeah and now I'm furious because I would start there watching it being like this film I've watched every I'm because I'm such a kooky sweetheart every Christmas I go and find a place where It's a Wonderful Life's playing in like an everyman cinema something like a red velvet chair and a cup of tea and I always loved it and then this year I was watching it and I was like shut up every woman in this film is wearing an apron every woman in this film is crying because this complex incredible man can't handle how much people love him and how much responsibility and how much he's helped everyone and every single woman is giving him a plate of sausages or like tending to the children

and like tiptoeing out the room and then it just made me reflect back on every book every film it's just everything I've loved and obviously by doing comedy and acting I've always done this because I love it I grew up being like a fiend for books and art and blah blah blah and then I watched was it Indiana Jones or Crocodile Dundee Crocodile Dundee and I was like a lot of very strong female characters in that exactly so there was some Indian women dancing in the corner and then a blonde woman screaming and being like I hate being dirty well the worst I'm not the worst one, but a particularly bad offender is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Yeah, it might have been that one actually.

Even at the time, though, people were saying, what the hell is this? Literally all Kate Capshaw does is scream. Yeah. So I guess all that stuff just slowly seeped in my stupid thick brain and would have seeped into the stupid thick brains of the boys and then you look back at your relationship past you look back at your interactions with men you look back at stuff and you're like so much of that is because everyone thought it was okay like for my like 14th birthday I think what I wanted was a handmade corset. It's because I'd seen like a music video where like Christina Aguilera was wearing a corset or something. And I've been like, yes, I need to get my waist small

and I need my boobs pumping. Oh my God. And there was this article in one of the girls' magazines I had that was like the perfect Christmas present or whatever. And it was like this place in Camden where they hand... And I was like, that is something I can wear with it was like this place in Camden where they hand, and I was like, that is something I can wear with any outfit. It's going to be sexy.

It's going to be black with a red lining. And it's like, what was I? I was like corsets. Let's strap you in. Let's get your waist. It's medieval. No,

it's very odd. It's even earlier than medieval. It's one of the, it's almost. It all started with the corset, I think is where I'm going with this. It's almost like getting your feet bound one of the, it's almost. It all started with the corset, I think, is where I'm going with this. It's almost like getting your feet bound, isn't it? Yeah, but it's insane.

And I was like, yeah, this is going to be great. I'll wear it under T-shirts. I never wanted a corset. I mean, maybe I could use one, but no. Codpiece? A codpiece, that's different. Certainly the most interested I ever got in sport was when I saw that the cricketers were wearing their boxes.

I thought, oh, I'd like to wear them. Cricketers wear boxes? That's what they're called. Oh, for their willies, a willy box. Yeah, a willy protecting box. Oh, keep talking, I'm about to come. Keep going. A willy in a box uh-oh

but yeah i guess i don't know why i went off on this tangent because you said angry no it's a good tangent and i apologize for um snoring for doing the snoring joke at the beginning you didn't know where i was going i didn't know where i was going i didn't know i was going to get like this but i do think I've like, I've had like fights with my male friend, not fights, but like debates where in the past, like they've talked about a girl that they're seeing or something,

you know, like completely innocent, you know, and like with friends, I know that they're good people, but I've been like, hang on, stop there.

Don't say that. Like it's actually, if more, if you know, you, that something has to stop. And if it takes me being a bit extreme and ruining a dinner party by standing up and being like, no, that's not okay.

But the same for my female friends. Like, if I hear anyone being like, he had a dog's willy, I'll be like, we have to try and be better. What would that even mean though? A dog's willy? Yeah. For me. Like a little lipstick.y yeah for me like a little lipstick i would say it's a little lipstick it's small it's like maybe a bit rounder at the end it's thin

it's i i haven't really experienced that i've definitely i mean i can't i cannot believe this i'm talking about oh trying to fight for change and then describing a dog's penis. For me, a dog's penis is perfect and it's what I'm looking for and I've yet to find it. But I feel like social conditioning, I think, has got way more to blame. But do you think, though, it's interesting talking about It's a Wonderful Life

because I suppose well-loved films like that get a pass in some ways don't they because they're so or they're seen as being so fundamentally good-hearted yeah that you know it's not about societal attitudes towards the sexes there's other things to recommend it totally totally and it is a product of the times that it was made in etc etc i guess it just makes you you look at it and you go this is a film that is like universally loved and like is like played everywhere yeah but you're right it is quite jarring a lot of the time now i mean even films from as recently as 10 years ago or something it's always from the male perspective it's the guy or the man has the interest,

is funny, is the goofball, is the complex one. Yeah. Well, it's even less than 10 years. Films are only just starting to change in that respect. And I don't think it's about like making everything from now on about a strong, complex woman. But it just makes you as a person reflect on your life and you go everything i've loved every piece of artwork that's inspired me every film every bit of music like 99 of it has

been this like telling this story of men being his story it's been his exactly it's been his. Exactly. It's been his story. Ancient his story. Dory. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now you're waking up, right? Q-man. Oh, my God. Are you going to start spelling wo-man differently?

Because, I mean, that is a thing. Some people do use a different spelling for woman. What do they spell it as? W-o-m-o-n i think woman woman woman i'm maybe i mean it's so hard it's like all these issues all this stuff that's happening there's pros and cons and i think there's like being too extreme on one side doesn't help and you know i think it's good that all this stuff is being discussed and that it's so good for the world but it does i guess as i can't speak for men i can't speak for most of the other things that people you know lots

of other things are happening but one thing I can speak for is I am a woman I am a woman and I feel it babes I'm feeling it and I'm thinking so much of the weird stupid stuff I did in my sexual past and my relationship past and my attitude to men and my feelings about myself are down to Britney Spears hit me baby one more time. Or baby got back. What does baby got back even mean? My anaconda don't want none unless you got burns, hun. I can do that.

You know, it's like a bat. It's a guy speaking about girls with tiny little itty bitty titties and a big old booty butt. Not really, but I just remember because I'm a pair. I'm small on the top, big at the back. I would always listen to that song and be like, oh, well, at least there's some guy out. Sir Mix-a-Lot likes me.

But look, it's such a huge, huge thing. It probably should be a series of podcasts that i should probably start doing it right now i think i think we should both do it and wake people up wake me up inside talk about a women's problem is that the thing that's good i haven't thought yeah no that's carry on the copyright from evanescence. Evanescence, is that? Yeah, the band that sang it. I actually got catcalled the other day and I was like, I genuinely shouted back at them, come on, it's 2018.

But the catcall was really weird. I was eating edamame beans and this boy went, oi, fit girl, you should give those beans to pigeons. What does that mean? This is very hard for me to unpack. I don't know if you're like a nature, you're sort of a wildlife person. Or what are you, a pervert? Hey, pretty girl, you should give those edamame beans to the birds,

feed them to the birds. And I was like, are you taking the mickey out of me for not eating meat i don't yeah no pretty girl you know there's beans you have you should get the beans and put them on well you pop some out help the birds out and give them individually to the birds don't have too much you know but you know who likes beans birds sorry about that i just really went off on a tangent about women. No, quite right. It's time things changed. I mean, I don't really relish the prospect because I benefited hugely from the way things used to be done.

And I think men are a bit like, oh, I thought we were over all that. I thought it was all fucking sorted. But no, it's not. We got the vote. We didn't get much else. Am I right? Yeah.

Come on, sisters. Come on. Hello, my friend. It's good to see you again. I've got to say you're looking great. I love what you've done with your nipples and your knees and your shiny bald pate. So you've had a breakup. How long were you going out, if you don't mind me asking?

Nearly two years. Two years. Big time. out if you don't mind me asking um nearly two years two years big time i just think breakups are we are not designed for them as human beings i've had them all i've had ones where you're like this is too hard we're like ruining each other's lives now it needs to end there's sort of an ease in that because you're like this can't carry on I'm gonna bite the skin off your face and enjoy it any minute now but then it's painful and it's tragic and then there's a person who you were so close to that you can't sort of speak to because it ends like messily or it's loving it's respectful it's like mutual I think it's very weird it's very since going through my breakup I am feeling very very very strongly that I never

ever ever ever want to be in a relationship again because I'm like I can't go through this again I cannot I don't know if having someone to hang out with on a Sunday is worth this like I feel like I have genuinely been walking into walls for the past month or so since it happened what's the feeling though is it that you'll never find someone so nice again? No, just the feeling that without this person, whoever they are, you can't survive. You can't function. Like, I need to know what someone's had for dinner.

Why is there no one who wants to tell me what they've had for dinner? Why does no one care what I've had for dinner? Rice, again. Like, it's so weird. And weird and like this is very sad i was doing hot yoga because i'm a cliche i'm a walking cliche doing a lot of that since the breakup and bickram bickram very i can talk to you about that for a long time it's so addictive did you know just such a tangent did you know that there was a man same thing went

through a awful breakup lost a job terrible time got seriously into hot yoga because it's addictive it does something to you you get so into the sweat i cannot tell you and because you're hot you can bend like you shouldn't be able to bend and he wrote a whole book about it because there are these things called illegal bends in hot yoga really there's a bend that you do where you walk your hands down a wall and then you walk your legs in oh so essentially and loads of people are doing it yeah and breaking their ribs right that's why it's illegal and this man wrote a book about being like hot yoga beware but i'm all up let's break some ribs let's get some attention from a doctor i'm into it so i was doing hot yoga and a woman are you i hear so many amazing things in the changing room

because it's in an area that's populated by lots of lovely sort of mum, mamas. And there was an elder woman, elder? Older woman. An elder. An elder. She was an elder of the community. There was a wizard in the changing room, naked.

And she was talking about her friend. I'm assuming she's sort of in her 60s. And she was talking about her friend who wants to get on a of in her 60s and she was talking about her friend who wants to get on a yoga retreat because she's just become widowed and she was crying while she was telling this story and she was like i've just been with her this weekend i'm gonna cry thinking about it um and she was just like this woman doesn't know what to do she's not like wailing and crying and i haven't been wailing and crying i've been doing a lot of the saddest, which is just silently weeping. And she's just this woman, her friend is just like, she's like, you're there with her. And she's not like on her knees screaming, but she's just like, I've got all this love to give. And I don't know who to give it to. And I don't know where to put it and I I keep trying to be like oh okay it's okay come back now come back now it's fine and he's not coming back and I was like fuck that I

don't want to be a 60 year old woman who I I was like what I don't I was like thinking I bet they had a lovely life sounds like they had a lovely marriage like earwigging ps naked everyone's naked in the changing room and just like listening with my ear my bum and your bum trumpet my bum ear came out and listened so i could get a real so get really get this story so we tell it as an anecdote on a podcast but yeah i was like i bet they had a lovely life i bet they had a lovely marriage and wow that's so incredible. Yeah, but you don't want to get into the frame of mind of like, oh, I never want to get into a relationship because it'll end.

Because someone's going to die. Well, I don't know if that's right, Adam. Because I was just like, she's, you know, doing yoga retreats. She sounds like she's quite healthy. She could potentially live for another 30 years. 30 years of being like, come home, please come home. It won't be 30 years. She'll be okay.

10 years then. Like, I was just like, I don't know how up for that I am. I mean, obviously I'm much more sensitive and vulnerable to all that in my current circumstance of being a breakie. Yeah, of course. But, you know, the clichés are clichés because they're true and time does heal all wounds. Maybe not all of them, but it certainly makes them more bearable.

You know, I have friends or friends of friends who I've heard, you know, horrific things. They were engaged and then it got called off last minute, you know, wedding dress in the cupboard, whatever. The breakup I just had was just like this isn't quite right yeah type situation and still I was like I can't sleep I can't no of course function I don't know what to do and I was like I'm not up for this again I don't think and also I'm like the next person I get with listen out ladies and gentlemen I'm gonna marry her because I cannot go through this again.

I just, I'm like, I know it's only been a month, but it genuinely feels like I've lived 18 years in the last month of just like, I've watched reality TV shows about everything you could think of. I have re, I watched all series of Friends about 58 times through. And then like.

What about with your patriarchy goggles on that's that was tricky it's so interesting it's so friends is another let's do a podcast about friends it's so interesting because all the female characters even phoebe their main aim is let's get married let's have kids monica loves cleaning and like i mean i don't feel like i've really any authority to talk about this because it's not my experience but the lack of ethnic diversity is like mind boggling yes yeah no it is it's weird for a show that ran for 10 series 24 episodes a series to have that little representation of ethnic diversities you are are like, and oh my God, on top of that, the amount of gay jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I can't like... I was never, I'd like to point out that I was never a fan. Oh my God, I'm such a fan. I can't pretend that it was for all those reasons necessarily. No, well, yeah, I mean... There needs to be more diversity in it. But I mean, you know, certainly when you look back at it, it's absolutely stark.

However, that was such an insanely well-written show those performances and characters did everything i mean they did everything that for me personally that accompanied you know like there was pathos there was i mean i've cried laughing so many times like David Schwimmer who mama Ross Geller that character just shines I mean Lisa Kudrow is like she's done the comeback and stuff since I'm all of them Matt LeBlanc let's do them all Matthew Perry Jen Anne Courtney C they're my people I think as a but then you it's so complex because like watching those women do that show I I was like, I want to do that. So, you know, they were there, they were on TV and they were funny and they weren't just like, they're all, all of them are mad. They're not straight women. It's just, I guess a lot of their storylines were the marriage storylines.

Also, you know, I think there's a temptation to sort of think, oh, we're very close to solving all these issues. Give us a couple of years, everything's going to be sorted out. No, in 10 years time, people will be looking back at stuff that we're doing and saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't say that. You can't do that.

This podcast used an example this particular episode. This podcast will be held up. It'll be one of the first items on the agenda for people to say, what the shit was going on there? Yeah. It's really, it's so, I mean, it's all, I'm going back to the whole stuff, but, like, I remember thinking Sex and the City was like, ooh, ooh, it's a bit risky because, you know,

so many of these characters' storylines are tied up with looking for a man, but then at the same time it was a show led by four women. Like, Samantha is, like, such a mad character, but, like like actually incredible because she just wanted to fuck all the time and I want to fuck all the time my friends want to fuck all the time like we don't you know I it's like I feel weird saying this but it's like I'm I you know I want to fuck all the time without not hurting anyone you know and being using you know being safe sure and it's like that was a show that did that someone's gonna make a meme out of you saying

i want to fuck all the time and i'm nearly single christ it's gonna get played before you come on stage i want to fuck all the time i want to i think an auto-tune i i i want to fuck all the time. I want to... Here she is. I want to fuck all the time, girl. They're going to auto-tune it. I want to fuck all the time. I want to fuck all the time. But it was amazing. Like, you know, that show is... And Miranda is such an... Like, all of them.

You know, but then again, you know, they're so much... But then there was the episode where Miranda's like, what do we think? What do we feel? You know, there is that episode. I'm quoting it. But, like, because all they think? What do we feel? You know, there is that episode, I'm quoting it. But like, because all they're doing is talk about men's balls.

And it's, I don't know, it's a minefield. I shouldn't have strut on it because I'm letting off grenades left, right, centre. I've just lost an ear. But yeah, it's very, it's food for thought. It certainly is. Is it interesting food? Is it tasty food for thought?

It's food for thought, isn't it it it's a little bit of food for thought adam that's the thing should we talk about brexit it's curry it's a little bit of small curry for thought the thing that i think about sometimes which i think you're probably not supposed to think about once you're married is what what are you supposed to do with all those relationships and all the feelings that you had and all the love you had for another human being and all the times you shared and the times you were close you know you are supposed to just completely expunge them obviously there's a practical reason for doing that because you know it's like going out with someone who's got loads of photographs of their their ex that was us that was our surfing. Right. It was a fantastic day.

I don't know. I'm actually fascinated. Like, I don't know. Like, I've never been married. You know, what you've done is like, you've done it. You've got married. You've made human beings with another person. You've...

Don't need to be married to do that, of course. You don't need to be. It's a very outdated institution as far as many people are concerned. Yeah, completely. Totally. I can't think of anything more embarrassing than walking down an aisle i mean come off it it's so holding a bunch of flowers and walking down the aisle especially if you do like the traditional walk which is like one step one step i can't it's so embarrassing but anyway that's but i'm like fascinated to know, like what,

it can't be easy. It cannot be easy. Just like, can it? Is it just like you are just you and your wife? Are you just have this like huge ball of love that you live in? No. I mean,

that's what I mean. I doubt it very much. It's the whole point. I think is that it's, you go through this crazy ceremony and you do it in front of your friends because the whole thing is, you know, it's a bit of a weird thing having a relationship with a person and expecting it to go on for a long time, let alone for the rest of your life. Yeah, exactly. It's all just... Were you 100% sure when you were doing it? Were you like, this is great?

What do you think I'm going to say? Well, it depends. But I just, I feel like... No, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. It is weird. It's like making a gesture to the rest of society and to your friends and to yourselves.

Your society, your personal society. Yeah. Did it feel amazing? Were you like, wow? Yeah, it feels like a big deal. Yeah, cool. It feels like I shouldn't fuck this up i should take this seriously and also you know it's just another technique for trying to ensure that

you're both around if and when you have children and it felt right it did feel right it's a technique isn't it yeah just for giving yourself the best shot and just for helping you through those moments where otherwise you would just say you know what I think let's call it a day you said you didn't like my podcast yeah goodbye exactly because of course you go through those moments but then it's quite good to I mean some people would disagree they would say well I don't want some weird outdated ludicrous institution governing my decision making and making me feel guilty about doing what I should be doing, which is getting out of a relationship, which doesn't work anymore

or anything like that. But, you know, why is that any worse than any other technique that you use for making a relationship last? Yeah. Sometimes it's quite nice just to think, actually, it would be so embarrassing and such a pain in the ass to get divorced that we'll just stay together oh my i mean oh hey darling if you're listening to this you know i love you right and all i'm doing is i'm being honest about the experiences that every married person has i think it's interesting the idea is you go out with someone and you really love them and you think, wow, I love them so much. I love everything about them.

I don't think I ever need to go out with anyone else again. I think it's time to get married because that's how much I love this person and they're right for me. And I think they may be the one. And isn't it amazing that I've actually met the person that's right for me and they happen to live very close

and they know a lot of the same friends that I've actually met the person that's right for me and they happen to live very close. And they know a lot of the same friends that I do. Anyway, for whatever reason, I've lucked out. And now we're going to show the world how lucky we are by making a commitment. Big party. There's going to be a room with pick-a-mix in it. Big party. We're going to go to church,

even though we've never been to church before. And this is great. But then, you know, the first time comes along where you think, oh, I'm really angry with them. Yeah. And I don't know how I'm going to get beyond it. And I think that this thing that I'm angry about is probably never going to go away. And, or conversely, wow, they seem really, really upset with me about that thing that I did. And I'm not sure I'm ever really going to be able to apologise sufficiently for that. How's that going to work for the rest of our lives?

And it works if it works because you just think, well, I promised. I made a promise. I made a promise and actually, you know, it's quite good sometimes to stick to a promise. I do think, yeah, totally. I'm split down the middle. I feel like there's the one half of me that's like, never again, never ever again. And then the other half of me is like, all I want to do is get married.

Someone ask me to marry them. Someone commit to me. Someone put me in a house. Someone give me a sink. Someone tell me everything's going to be okay forever and I'll be safe. And I don't care if I'm sad or I'm not crazy about them. I'll be fine. Because it's lovely and it's secure and it's life is nice, can be nicer when shared with someone else if they're the right person.

But the idea that if you make a long-term commitment to someone, whether it's just in a relationship or marriage or whatever, the idea that you're somehow banishing loneliness is completely wrong. Because, of course, you – and there's a peculiar kind of loneliness within a marriage as well. Oh, my God, yeah. And within a long-term relationship. Yeah, I've felt lonely in relationships before. And it's effing bleak. Yeah. Because you're like, but I'm doing it. I've got the partner.

Yeah. And, you know, the longer you stick with it, then you break through into some sort of, you get rewards. It's a bit like getting older, you know. It's mainly, actually, no, I'm not going to say that because it sounds like I'm implying marriage is mainly shit, which I don't think it is. But it's a bit like getting older, you know.

There's quite a few difficult things about it but you do get some rewards yeah i mean i'm i'm really selling marriage here aren't i i mean you're gonna be naked in a female changing room soon she started listening to the podcast like she never used to listen to it i mean i have i've genuinely i'm trying to think when have i ever heard a gentleman folk talk about marriage without it being like our missus our ball and i think it's anyone a man or a woman i would i'm fascinated to hear you know what what what's it like i my parents are actually my parents aren't married and never have been and aren't together but they are married now because are they seriously now married it's more security with with the sort of house and stuff like that and my mum i think before she had squatters rights in the house but now she has

full rights to the house um but yeah they got married My dad wore a pair of trousers. The fly was broken. And he had pissed down the front of his flies because he'd gone to do a wee and the fire alarm had gone off. So he got a bit scared and dribbled a bit of wee-wee. Oh, and the woman who hosted the ceremony was wearing sunglasses throughout. And the other woman in the room was eating a pack of Doritos, which she generously offered to me and Jamie throughout the ceremony.

Do you want some? Do you want one? My dad forgot my mum's name. And it was a fantastic day. And then we went for a buffet afterwards, which was great. Speaking of my dad, actually, he's been a real support since the breakup. Has he? My parents rent rooms in my house, in my family house,

to foreign language students who come over here to learn English. Because there's an English language school nearby. And my dad made very, very good friends with one of them, an 18-year-old boy. My dad's 78. So just a cool 60 years between them. He made big friends with him

and went out to Turkey to visit him because he missed him. No way! That's nice, I mean... Were they having sex? Who knows? I don't know. How long did he know him for? Three months. Three months?

Maybe less. Did you and Jamie feel threatened by this bond? The first time we met, I was with my boyfriend at the time and we had arranged to go for a walk with the dogs at the park. We were on the high street and I arranged to meet my dad outside the supermarket. And I looked across the road and I just saw this young boy. I was like, I heard the dogs barking and I saw them and I was like, who the hell is that boy holding the dogs?

And then about a mile away was my dad waving. Hello, Tasha. I was like, what's going on? And he'd not told me, but he'd bought his mate with him. And this boy just carried my dad's bag the entire day. My dad would be like, Dogan. His name is Dogan. Dogan, apple, please.

And he just silently didn't speak. Get him an apple out, give it toan, Dogan, apple, please. And he just silently, didn't speak, get him an apple out and give it to him. Dogan, nut, please. He likes to, my dad's favourite thing is getting stuff and decanting it into other stuff. Like that's his favourite thing. So he had, when we go out, he's always got like an old jam jar of water.

I'm not exaggerating. He'll have like a very, very heavy, like pestle and mortar with cling film on it filled with nuts i mean he's been what does he do he grinds them up no just carrying them it's probably the main reason why i could never live at home again like when my brother lived there it drove him you know he'd do things like someone's taking a spoon out of the mayonnaise like a teaspoon full and he's like oh that's empty now so may as well fill that up with some salad cream get it to the top again like one time one time my brother went to get some jam out the fridge stuck his got the jam jar out stuck his knife in the thing and was like what and inside the jam jar was one beetroot

and one chili and my brother went dad what the hell is this where's the jam jar was one beetroot and one chilli. And my brother went, Dad, what the hell is this? Where's the jam? What have you put in this jar? And he was like, Jamie, I know exactly what's in that jar. One beetroot and one red chilli. So he knows what he's doing. There's not confusion there.

He's just decanting, changing things up. Why has he got a jar of water? Because he's like, you take water out with you. Right, he might want to drink. Yeah, but you put it in a jam jar, obviously. I mean, his bag is the heaviest thing you have ever felt. He's not the most stable man. He's had two knee transplants.

You know, he's getting on. He's got a real hump, like a real hobble, because he was a chef for so long, so he's bent over pots and pans his whole life. And the steam, the stickiness got to him in the kitchen and has set him in a permanent bow. But, yeah, he's a very contrary person. Anyway, so he went to Turkey to visit this man. To visit Dogan.

Dogan, the 18-year-old. And was he nice, Dogan? Right, this is my experience of him. Me saying, hello, and him going, yes. And then me saying, oh, sorry, and, like, nearly tripping over him because i didn't realize he was there and him being like yes so that's my experience of dog hand cut to a few weeks ago my dad got back from turkey and went are you got back with your boyfriend yet no still still sadly broken up and he went well i've got something very exciting to tell you.

It's a little bit crazy, but please listen to me. Okay, what? I've met someone who is very deeply in love with you, Natasha. I was like, right, who? Who have you met in Turkey? And he went, the boy. Which boy? The 18-year-old boy.

Dogan? Yes, the one. And he said, Dogan, on like the third day of their trip, he was like, he couldn't hold it anymore. I was telling him every day, Dogan, something is wrong with you. What's going on? I mean, the boy doesn't speak English or Cypriot, so I don't know what the conversation was happening. Dogan, he had his head in his eyes. I can't hold it in any longer. I love her. I'm crazy for her. I want to marry her. And he said, it's going to be very good for you because his dad is going to give you his hotel,

going to buy your house. And his dad has also promised to give you all his wisdom. And the full hotel plus wisdom package. Exactly. And so I'm moving to Turkey. I'm marrying an 18 year old. And I was like, dad, come on, because he loves to exaggerate old and I was like dad come on because he loves to exaggerate and I was like he didn't say love and he went he did I went that's insane we met once

he went well love is very crazy it happens whenever it can and then he told him about me being in America doing this pilot I just did he said and he says to wish you all the best luck in the world and he hopes you are the princess of all the cinemas in Texas. It sounds like I'm making up, this is going back to staff, so much of the stuff that has happened with mine and Jamie's dad over the years, Jamie couldn't put it in the show because he was like, it's like you'd write that and go,

oh, come on, that never happened. Yeah, yeah. You know, he never wore women's glasses all the time because he stole them from women that came to visit his cafe. He never did that. So no, he did. But you know, like there's,

I mean, it's just endless. He did, he actually came and cameoed in the TV. Oh, did he? So this, I mean, maybe it's more of a physical thing and you'd see it, but basically the final episode, there's a party. And so we were with like Greek people there.

So we were like, have dad in the background. We wanted to give him a line. Jamie went and worked on it for about three hours trying to get him to say the line. But the line was something like, where are the grapes? And my dad's like that. Are the grapes in the kitchen?

No, dad, the line is, where are the grapes? You want grapes? I gave some grapes. Where are the grapes and my dad's like that are they grapes in the kitchen no dad the line is where are the grapes you want grapes I gave some grapes where are the grapes I got raisins as well you know raisins it's actually small very small grape and so my brother's like right I can't do this can't do this so we'll just have him in a background shot we'll just get him and we got him sitting down on a sofa and so we were like you're just having a conversation with someone but don't look at the camera obviously stared right into the camera and smiled the entire time so we were like okay don't do let's not have you that what what can we do um looking to the side but then looking to the side he still would like go and look his head would turn 360 degrees to face the camera.

So it was like, maybe, okay, that'll be, let's have a random shot of like an old Greek man asleep at the party. So we were like, maybe, so we'll have you being asleep at the party. Action. And he does that thing where you do the most obvious fake sleeping that like children do when they don't want to get in trouble because they should be asleep, where you just like blink loads. So he's just blinking.

And then in the end, we worked out that the only way to get him in is if we had him sleeping with sunglasses on, so you couldn't see his eyes. And luckily, that shot made it in the final show. So that's very good. Oh, wait. Come on, I want you to be speedy with your feet. You're wasting my valuable time. I got people to meet. But instead I'm moving very slowly behind your arse.

Hey, I'm important. I need to travel faster. How can you walk so slowly? I'm very important. You are a walking disaster. so slowly i'm very important you are a walking disaster earlier this year you filmed a pilot big time big time with you tell me we're talking a taika watiti we're talking jermaine the clement we're talking matt the berry tree we're talking cave and Noorbeck. Wow. Yeah, amazing. And also, we're talking the guy who is the shape from Shape in the Water.

The shape was in it. Shape of water. Shape. It wasn't called Shape in the Water. The Shape and the Water. It's in that film. There's a shape in the water. Is it not?

Okay, the shape of the... We did a... He was in it. The shape. The shape? I mean, the man has done it all. Doug Collins. Yeah. Hello. Fact-checking Santa here.

The name of the actor that played the amphibian man in The Shape of Water was Doug Jones, not Doug Collins. Merry Christmas. He plays the Baron. Yeah. So he had like the full prosthetics. He does all the prosthetic work.

So this is a TV version of What We Do in the Shadows. The film. Which was Taika Waititi's film from a few years back. Yeah, and Jermaine's. Jermaine Clement in it. Oh, Jermaine. I think they wrote it together. Did they?

Oh, okay. Yeah, I think. And it was really funny. That was one of the first Taika Waititi films I saw. Before I'd seen, obviously, he hadn't made it yet, Hunt for the Wilderpeople. I saw Eagle vs. Shark before that, thank you very much. Oh, Eagle vs. Shark you did, right.

I absolutely, I mean, it's so, the female lead in that, Lily, she plays a character called Lily, I don't know what her name is, I shouldn't know that stuff like that. She's unbelievable. That was like, I was like, I want to do that one day, day be her and Taika obviously directed Thor Ragnarok big time Thor Rastorok so you are very much in the right place at the right time oh big time baby I'm on the floor of my kitchen cleaning vinegar bottles how the hell did that happen I don't I mean actually big big shout out to the AB podcast a few months before, so the last summer of 2017,

I had a very small part in an up-and-coming film that Ian Curtis... Ian Curtis? Ian Curtis. He's back and he's directing romantic comedies. Ian Amoris directed, which stars Claudia O'Doherty, my sweet girl. Yeah. yeah written by very good friends

Joe Parham and Keith Cushy wrote this the director's film for the festival about anyway so I was in it by the way we had dinner one night and Jermaine's in that film and we were chatting and I he was sat next to me and I was like oh god oh god and it was a curry restaurant so I was like there's gonna be poppadoms everywhere I'm not going to hold back this is a disaster and then he was like i uh you're natasha right i heard your an unboxing podcast i absolutely loved it and i was like yes so thanks to you babes oh wow so i mean i guess that i don't know if that i don't think i had anything to do but it was very nice that he knew i existed thank you i'm pretty sure that's why you got the job. Yeah, big time. Do you do an accent? Yes, like a sort of, I mean, it's very mixed. It's like Transylvania meets, quite often Jermaine actually filming was like, Tash, you're going a bit cockney

again. So really smashing it. Give me a bit of, can you give me a flavour of the accent? I'm, hello, I'm Nadja. I am Nadja. And and i am my boyfriend is laszlo played by matt berry so it's like russian cum eastern european slash racist yeah um that's my favorite russian cum racist so yeah and then i i couldn't i mean like i i got a call from my agent oh yeah i couldn't believe it i genuinely jumped up and down screaming like I nearly smacked my head on the ceiling because like I've done, worked on some amazing things in my career. I've been very like lucky, but I've also, you know,

had the classic, it's been nine months and all I've done is clean vinegar. Yeah. And so it was very, I couldn't believe it. I was like, this stuff doesn't happen. Like, no, come on, don't be stupid. And yeah, and then I had to go and get my work visa from the American Embassy. Where did you make the pilot?

In LA. No way. In Hollywood, the big time. I mean, I genuinely, when we like drove to the set for the first time, I sound like I'm a very emotional person, but I actually don't cry that much because I take a lot of anxiety medication, which kind of keeps that on the D-low but I I welled up like I was like it fed them the disgusting little rat in me that wants to be a film star but it was so overwhelming and because everything there

is bigger it's on craft services which is the sort of catering yeah I mean it's there 24 7 and it's like a sweet shop it's like a a news agent the only thing they don't have is magazines which i love smutty mags which obviously i would love yeah but it's me going i was like a mini supermarket honestly they've got a box of bubble gum here oh my god there's a sushi chef and i don't even eat fish just shut up i was taking carrier bags and ruining takes because i was rustling my carry bag filling it up with apple crisps and like cake bars and like no one taking these donuts so i'll have them yeah it's everything is just bigger the set they had these like paintings old paintings done of me

and matt because we're and and k van's character that they i mean just everything it was like if you've seen the film, the designer who designed the film designed the house. And it's just like, there was so much taxidermy. You know, stuff in England just doesn't have as much of a budget. That's just the way it is. And I was like, you know, one piece of this taxidermy would be the entire art department budget for a show in England.

You'd be like, you can have the wolf, but you've got to do the show, they've got to live on the wolf and inside the wolf's mouth. Every scene has to take place with the wolf. And what's the premise for the TV version then? Is it like, because for people who haven't seen it, the film was a mockumentary about a group of vampires from different eras sharing a house. Living in modern time, modern day New Zealand. So it's still a mockumentary yeah it's quite similar but the difference is is that i guess because it's a series it has to have a longer sort of story so it's about us we've been told to go and take over the world like the new world

and we are stupid so we've just ended up landing where the boat docked which was staten island and my character is a horny vampire which is essentially who i am well we've just ended up landing where the boat docked which was staten island and my character is a horny vampire which is essentially who i am well we've established that exactly so it's perfect but yeah it was incredible the only weird thing about it is i will say this is that the film is so well loved it's very weird to do a film and then a tv series usually it goes the other way around so i am so sorry to all the fans of the film if we ruin it by making a TV series of it. Can you think of any other examples of comedy films that have turned into... Only Fools and Horses?

That was a big blockbuster, wasn't it? So I had an idea. I was like, I was thinking about on my votes for women tack. I was thinking of the films that I'd loved and watched and that had made me be like, maybe affected me in a not so positive way without realising. And I was thinking about Grease. film love them tunes love that love it however you know she's what she's doing is effectively going i'm going to take off my nice comfy skirt and i'm going to be sewn into a pair of i'm going to dress like a woman of the evening and i'm going

to start smoking and i'm going to start smoking. And I'm going to start smoking. I'm going to change myself completely to comply with what you want, Danny Zuko. And so, you know, that definitely got into my brain when I was younger. I was like, I need to be sewn into my trousers. When my mum is sewing me into my trousers, that is when I've made it. That's when I'm it. I've got it. Everything. I'd like to make a film that is two people just agree that they're fine and that they

probably shouldn't be together and then I was like what would it be called slime because also for those of you who don't know I'm making a lot of slime right now to deal with my breakup um that sounds revolting do you not know about the slime craze no right so my friend called me this morning who I'm writing something with and she was like we have to meet up next week. And she was like, what's your diary for next week? And I'm not kidding. It was Monday, broadband coming. Tuesday, cinema with mum.

Saturday, Sunday, slime event. What the shit is slime? Slime? You can keep on saying it, but I'm still not going to understand. You don't know what slime is? No, apart from like a substance that is slimy. Yeah, slime. That's exactly what it is. It's a colourful substance that is slimy. Yeah, slime. That's exactly what it is.

It's a colourful substance that's slimy, but there is a slime revolution happening. Well, it's come back. I mean, slime was... It's back and it's bigger than ever and it's more colourful. I'm serious. It all started with Instagram, which I had come off because of how anxious it made me and how...

You weren't getting enough likes. Well, no, it was that I was being, like, living for the likes. Yeah. And, like, you know, even if I was getting three likes, I was like, great, someone's liking something I'm doing. And then on top of that, I have lots of mixed feelings about it. It makes me very anxious. I don't like people posting 300 photos of just their face,

especially people in comedy, especially women in comedy, because I'm like, what separates you from someone? You know, you are intelligent and clever and you have stuff to say. But I was doing it too. Like, I was like, oh, hello. My arm looks thin. Better get that on the internet. So I came off it. And also just mainly because it's just a ridiculous distraction and if someone shows me a photo of themselves like their feet on a beach

I'm like for fuck's sake my life is a piece of shit because my feet are on a beach they're on my kitchen floor and there's vinegar everywhere so I came off Instagram but then I got back on it thanks to the breakup whatever I got back on it and I discovered slime and let me tell you things have never been better. What? I still don't understand. It's something to do with ASMR. Have you heard of ASMR?

Gentle whispering. Oh, but you get sort of erotically fixated by certain sounds. It's not erotic. A lot of things charge me up. Let me, you know, I'm me so horny. Is this like the videos you get on YouTube with people sort of crinkling paper and stuff? Stuff and cutting stuff. So that doesn't work for me. Whispering doesn't do anything.

There are a lot of people making a lot of money doing it, speaking like this. This is my makeup kit and these are my... For USMR, people are like, this is free. Autonomous sensory meridian response. A term used for an experience characterised by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. It has been compared with auditory tactile synesthesia.

Yeah, so I think it started with this, like, whispering thing. Like, I had friends who were going to sleep listening to these videos of this... There's a particular girl who's very good at it who does it on YouTube who whispers. I hate whispering. I whispering i know i for me i'm like get it away from me and then i found slime and now let me get an amen so there's something about crunchy slime for me it's crunch crunchy slime so there's a type of slime called floam which is like no it's nothing to do with age that's the beauty of slime it's genderless

it is ageless it's just slime there are these videos of just girls playing with slime there's another channel where this woman freezes paint and then crushes it up that i'm a big fan of. There are specific videos that I love called slime smoothies where people, slime makers, it's big business. There's a slime event and I'm going to it. Are you seriously? Yeah, where the slime, I'm going to go and there's workshops on how to make slime.

I live for it and I'm making a lot of it. I'm going to go back to a room where I have left a plate of slime open because I'm hoping that it will form this type of slime called iceberg slime where the top goes crusty if you leave it, get the air into it, and then you push through. It's the crunch, crunch into softness. You don't see it.

It's having an effect. So what you've just felt, mine is like, hey, hey. I love it. Wait. I love it. Wait, this is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success. Yes, success. The way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes. It looks very professional.

I love browsing your videos and pics and I don't want to stop. And I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop. These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, use the offer code BUXTON to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So put the smile of success on your face with Squarespace. Yes.

Continue. Hey, welcome back, podcats. Tash Dimitriou there. Very grateful to Tash for making the time to come and talk to me. And I hope she's having fun out there in Canada filming What We Do in the Shadows, the TV series, which is due to air on America's FX network in the spring of 2019. And over here on the BBC sometime after that, not sure exactly when, I've put a link to a little article and a trailer, a very short teaser trailer,

trailer, a very short teaser trailer in the description of this podcast along with a few other related links very excited though about what we do in the Shadows the TV series would have been a little bit better if Buckles had been in it probably but eh

can't have everything, I'm out here on one of the most spectacularly beautiful evenings I've seen in quite a while. Rosie's up ahead, as is my daughter, and they're gambling about in a very straightforwardly joyful way that makes me feel extremely lucky and grateful and sort of offsets the anger and bitterness about

not only being excluded from Staff Let's Flats but also from what we do in the shadows which I think we can all agree I would have been perfect for. Speaking of Staff Let's Flats though or if you're an American Greek boy rents apartments a reminder that you can see all six episodes of the first series on the Channel 4 4OD website. I've also put a link to that comedy blap in the description of this podcast. So we went to see Hamilton the musical this week with my daughter. It was a big birthday treat. She was just 10 a few weeks ago. And she knows every single word of that thing off by heart. It's not the theatre so much as the actual physical discomfort that gets to me. I generally don't like being... And I always get sat right in the middle of the row. And the rows are so thin.

And you can't really move. And the seats are tiny. This is very boring, clichéd complaints about a wonderful art form. That really I shouldn't dignify by repeating. But the fact remains, I do have a slight terror of going to the theatre because I do like going to the loo regularly and often and always find myself in the middle of a row next to some angry-looking folks who don't seem to want to get up.

And, you know, it's very disruptive. People don't like it when you go to the loo in the middle anyway it was fine i managed to dehydrate myself sufficiently before our trip to hamilton that i didn't need to get up once during the entire nearly three hour performance but it was very good i can see why it's a sensation. Incredibly talented cast and the songs are terrific. A bit disappointed that there wasn't more Formula One stuff in there but there you go. And I was thinking I might do a mini tribute possibly called Buckleton with some very stirring rap songs about life out here in Buckles Towers and maybe I could play some of them to Joe when we do our Christmas podcast this year. Not promising anything but I'm

saying it out loud in order to encourage myself to actually do it. Speaking of rapping and rappers I've been watching the second series of Hip Hop Evolution or Evolution on Netflix. Very good. I mentioned it before on the podcast, the first series. Last episode I watched, I think it was episode three of season two, was called Do the Knowledge, I think, and it focused on New York's legendary Latin Quarter Hip Hop Club. I say legendary, I'd never heard of it before. Watching the documentary, which indicates to you my very low level of expertise on the subject of hip hop.

Nevertheless, I knew quite a few of the artists featured on there, but it's all just fascinating. Really good interviews and great archive. So this episode that I watched, Do the Knowledge, was about KRS-One, who I did know a little bit about, and Scott LaRock, and they made their name, I believe, at the Latin Quarter Hip Hop Club. Scott LaRock was shot.

I remember listening to Tim Westwood's show in the car with Joe, who was a proper hip-hop head when we used to drive around as young men. And I remember Westwood talking about, stop the violence. And then following that, all of this featured in this last episode of Hip-Hop Evolution was the wave of more afrocentric and positive rap represented by artists like queen latifah moni love della soul tribe called quest that was my sort of era that was the stuff that i really liked in the hip-hop world i suppose because it was a bit less urban and angry. And despite the whole Afrocentric ethos, I felt slightly less of a fraud listening to it.

Anyway, I really recommend the show, whether you're one of the world's leading hip-hop experts like me or just a fan of music. Rosie, come here. Come and say hello. I don't really want to say hello. Hey, how are you doing? You want a scritch scratch? Oh, the mere mention of a scritch scratch gets a very positive reaction from Rosie. Don't patronize me. Just give me a scritch scratch. Don't patronise me, just give me a scratch scratch. All right then. All right, let's head back.

Thank you very much to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for production support, to Matt Lamont for edit support, to you for downloading this podcast. I really appreciate it. Take good care. And remember on bonfire night, if the fuse on your firework fizzles, don't return till it's safe to their chisels. I love you.

Bye! Bye. Thank you.