THE ADAM BUXTON PODCAST - EP.84 - ROISIN CONATY

Episode Date: November 17, 2018

Adam talks with British comedian, writer and actor Roisin Conaty about haircuts, celebrity encounters, TV makeup disasters, TV panel show trauma, truth goggles, angry judgementalism and chocolate. And Rosie unveils a satirical Brexit song.Thanks to Séamus Murphy-Mitchell for production supportAdditional editing by Anneka Myson: http://annekamusic.co.uk/Music and jingles by Adam BuxtonRELATED LINKSROISIN LIVE AT THE APOLLOhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6b-ntrZ6Qk‘GAMEFACE’ - HOW TO DEAL WITH A PHONE USER IN THE CINEMAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpN42RSCnvsHOW TO STOP BEING LATEhttps://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-davis/how-to-stop-being-late-fo_b_7631186.html‘THEY LIVE’ - TRUTH GOGGLEShttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6wNEIL POSTMAN - AMUSING OURSELVES TO DEATHhttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/74034.Amusing_Ourselves_to_Death Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening I took my microphone and found some human folk Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan. Hey, how you doing, podcats? Adam Buxton here. I'm out for a walk on a beautiful mid-November day in 2018.

The sun is shining brightly. It's cold, but the sky is very blue. Not a cloud in sight. And just a few hours ago, I was walking with Rosie out here yesterday afternoon, and it couldn't have been more different. Oppressively grey skies, as if all the light and joy had been vacuumed out of the world. But now it's really, really nice.

And the problems of the world seem far away. How's your week been, Rosie? I've done a satirical song about Brexit. Can I play it? No way! Oh, go on, it's called I've Done a Poo on the Backstop. Right, look, Rosie, this isn't Radio 4, OK? This is a forum for highbrow conversational discussion chat. Why are you

trying to suppress my freedom of speech? I'm not. Look, all right, you can play it at the end of the podcast, OK? OK, thanks. Oh, look, there's a partridge. I'm coming for you, partridge. Oh, look, there's a partridge. I'm coming for you, partridge. All right, see you later. I'm going to tell the listeners about podcast number 84, which features a rambling conversation with British comedian, writer and actor Roisin Conaty. Roisin started performing stand-up aged 24

and seven years later in 2010, she became only the fifth woman to win the Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Fringe with her show Hero, Warrior, Fireman, Liar. Roisin is now a regular on a variety of British TV panel shows and has acted in Greg Davis's sitcom Man Down on Channel 4, as well as writing, exec producing and starring in her own sitcom Game Face, all about the travails of a struggling actor called Marcella. There's a link to a little clip of Game Face in the description of this podcast, along with another couple of relevant stinky linkies for you. I recorded my conversation with Roisin just a few weeks ago in October at a friend's house in London,

and we covered some of my favourite chat topics, including haircuts, celebrity encounters, TV make-up disasters, TV panel show trauma, truth goggles, angry judgmentalism and chocolate. But I began by showing Roisin my favourite Satsuma trick. That sounds like a euphemism, but it isn't. Here we go. Focus first on this, then concentrate on that. Come on, let's chew the fat and have a ramble chat. Put on your conversation coat and find your talking hat. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

So do you like satsumas? I really do, you know. I like to start at the side of the satsuma. Yep. Peel round. In one hit? In a long strip. Like you're doing an apple. Almost like an apple.

Long strip until you've just got a, what's it called? Looks like a satsuma burger. Yeah, so it's like a skull cap of peel on the top. Peel that off. And one on the bottom. Peel that off. And one on the bottom. Peel that off. And then you've got a face hugger from Alien. There's a long bit down your mouth.

No, I mean, I like that that's what you've got from that, which is two round circles and a hanging down thing in the middle that you got. Or it looks like a scrotum with a long thin penis how's your day been it's been uh okay I've been running around a little bit I'm writing and I got to bed quite late writing a new series of game face I am yes someone's googled me before I've shown up um yeah so I'm writing that and then last night I built myself a fringe and i was meant to be writing i was i was sort of in it i finished an episode you know then that's the best time to do

an edit and then i basically just did like you know you like all the front of your hair i put on instagram but it took me about i said 25 minutes because i didn't want to look as mad as i am i don't know what you know you say you know when you do all the front of your hair no you know when you go so if you you go like that so what i'm doing is getting everyone at home knows all the women knows i'm hoping my dandruff doesn't come off and then you do this so roshin is pulling a big load of her hair forward into the air and now she is curling it with my hands with her hands almost like a kind of elvis curl in front of her forehead and then she is pulling it apart so it sits there. I'm going to take a picture of this. Hang on one second. Don't move.

But I made a really good one last night, but it took me about 45 minutes. So I've done that. That was my... I suppose I got to bed quite late because I got involved in seeing if I wanted to get a fringe again, which always, whenever you start thinking about a fringe, I think you always need to make a change because you always say, oh, that's my hair. So I was thinking, oh, I probably need to have a little look round. Okay. I don't think I've ever had a fringe. I was thinking you'd look really good on, this is really funny.

I've never, do men get fringes? Maybe you should get a fringe. I'll get an Edinburgh fringe. Two star Edinburgh fringe. A really short one. Uh-huh. Can I see? Sure, sure.

I mean, my hair's a disaster. It's always been like, the best haircut. Oh no, you've got good hair. Oh, you've got good hair. It's thinning out now. No, you've got good hair. Thanks. Yeah, should be pleased with that.

At one point, I got just the best haircut. When I was about about when was it towards the end of my 20s I think and I had just met the woman that became my wife oh and I went into a random haircut place in Kensington Market do you remember Kensington Market do you ever go there yeah uh off Kensington High Street used to be quite groovy it was a little um maze of tiny stalls and clothes shops and tattoo parlors and camden a bit yeah exactly exactly there was a haircut place in there and i went in and i just randomly got like a good haircut was sort of short and choppy so that you could just ruffle it up in the morning job just landed right it's a bit

like do you remember when harrison ford got a short choppy haircut yeah and he looked really good it was like oh look at that that's a new way of doing your hair he looks good i mean obviously he's handsome so that was good but it was everything came together in that moment it's never been as good again and now it's back to being a bit long and yeah i've had that i've had haircuts where i'm like there's a sadness in getting them because you know why does it have to keep growing why can't it stay like it's like a sort of metaphor for everything go why can't this moment of hair just last forever because you know within three days like oh it's growing out all the roots are showing i like your hair though. You've got dark roots and blonde outer bits. So is the dark bit your natural colour?

Yeah, I'm naturally nearly like your colour, like nearly blackhead. I would say that's raven hair. Yeah, I was like Morticia at school, very dark, very dark hair. And then I just bleached it up. What about, have you ever had just like a Morticia streak, like a white streak? No, I wouldn't, but I wouldn't rule it out. I think you'd be good.

You'd look good. I mean, that looks nice already. Is this weird to be talking about? I think it's good. I like it. Being nice about each other's hair. I can tell that it's a conversation you haven't had loads. No.

It's amazing watching you root around, looking for the language, like the outer bits. But the outer bits are a much better way of describing the ends, as we say in the hair land. Yeah, but ends, it's not the ends because they start right at the top and then they go out. I know, the outer bits, it's actually more accurate. Yeah. The last time I saw you was at Edgar Wright's birthday party. Oh, yes. And Edgar had a little subterranean room in a fancy restaurant somewhere in the West End.

And Gal Gadot was there. Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman. Yes, I know. did you speak to gal gado no i didn't i hadn't seen wonder woman so it was one of those things where it was wasted on me like you know when you're a kid and then someone goes oh i was at a party the other day with someone that you loved not like i had loads of friends but you know they go yeah that who's that one a singer of uh bros and you're like yeah you know like And that's when I sort of mentioned to friends and kids of theirs, I was like, oh, Wonder Woman.

They were like, what? And I was like, I hadn't seen it. So she was sort of wasted on me. Right. So you didn't chat with her? No. Did you? No, I would be too frightened.

I just thought, what can I possibly say to Wonder Woman that she's going to find? I mean, that is my first problem already is that I'm thinking of her as Wonder Woman. Yeah. You know, it's entirely my problem. I'm sure she's a to find... I mean, that is my first problem already, is that I'm thinking of her as Wonder Woman. Yeah. You know, it's entirely my problem. I'm sure she's a perfectly nice, intelligent person who you could talk to about anything that you would talk to any other normal person about. But it was too much.

I couldn't deal with it. Really? Yeah, I just thought, nah. But I suppose... Where do you start? I mean, she's Spanish, she's an actor, she's very famous, she's Wonder Woman. I thought she was Israeli.

Sorry, little Google. But yeah, that thing where I see people and they can just walk across a room, and I think people think I'm quite confident. I could never, ever go and speak to someone that I didn't know. She's Israeli, you're quite right. Yeah. I apologise for my ignorance. You see, that would have been me.

I would have gone up and said, hola, gato. So you're from Spain. I've been to spain how do you like spain do you like tapas and then she'd walk away now imagine she'd be really polite because you know at a birthday party that's sort of the problem is that with birthday parties you have to be nice to everyone because they're the guests of the person right they're friends of the yeah it's not like you're in a club or you know you're like excuse me you know you have to be like hey it could be their cousin it could be so you have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt of like, well, you know, you're

vouching for everyone at your birthday. That's right. You're the, you know, you've said they're good. The other person I saw that night was Orlando Bloom. I apologise, Edgar, about just using your birthday party as a crap name dropping exercise on my podcast. But Orlando Bloom, the Bloom box. I saw him on the stairs.

Yeah. Very briefly, yeah. He came over. All right, check this out. This is just a tidal wave of name-dropping. So I was sat with Stephen Merchant. Yes. Who I hadn't seen for a while, having a nice talk with him.

And Orlando Bloom suddenly blooms out of the darkness. And he was wearing a kind of groovy sweater, I remember. Crazy, brightly coloured, geometrical shapes. And I was thinking, wow, no one in the world could have gotten away with that sweater except the Bloom Box. Who's very, very handsome and sort of just perfect looking. very very handsome and sort of just uh perfect looking and he just leaned over as i was talking to steven completely interrupted our conversation and just started speaking to steven but in that moment caught himself and just thought oh no hang on that's rude and so looked over at me to sort of acknowledge you know sorry to interrupt and then he looked at me and

sort of did a bit of a double take because he obviously thought oh hang on you look familiar but he didn't know who I was yeah which I get quite a bit people are like oh you look a bit like usually people think I'm Saul from Homeland but uh yeah he gave me a weird like oh I think I nah I don't think so but instead because he had been a little bit on the rude side i would say no disrespect i don't want to fight you he's gonna definitely want to fight you i just was able to stare at him with impunity do you know what i mean i just thought ah fuck it i'll just stare at him i just thought look look at you you are in pirates of the caribbean

and there you are in front of me and who was he in the lord of the rings was he legolas yeah yeah look at you legolas but imagine how that level of fame must be quite like terrifying to have that level of scrutiny you know like that i think at a party because you would you notice every bit you're like and then they didn't sit down. You know, that sort of, I don't know, like, you know, the sort of. When you become an object. And like, are they good or bad? We need to know we're famous people. Good or bad.

Like, good or evil. Orlando Bloom. Evil. It's definitely evil. No, I'm just kidding. Imagine if you just see one every week. Yeah. And just have loads of like evidence that you shift through. Yeah. Imagine if you just do one every week. Yeah.

And just have loads of, like, evidence that you shift through of people's anecdotes of meeting this famous person, and then some at the end go, like an Uber score, and then at the end be like, yeah. That's right. It's terrifying. Evil. You've done life at the Apollo, haven't you? You've done life at the Apollo, haven't you? You've done Live at the Apollo, haven't you?

You've done Live at the Apollo, haven't you? That's what I'm going to say now. You've done Live at the Apollo, haven't you? How's that, walking out in front of that crowd? Well, I've got quite the story of my Live at the Apollo. Go on then. I've got to be careful how I say this. No, you don't.

I've just called Orlando Bloom either. I did Live at the Apollo. I was on stage for about two minutes. So this is for people who don't. I've just called Orlando Bloom either. I went, I did Live at the Apollo. I was on stage for about two minutes. So this is for people who don't know. Sorry to interrupt. Live at the Apollo is a huge British stand-up showcase on British television. Yes. And so I was on stage for about two minutes.

And you go through the smoke and it's a big like, Welcome to Live at the Apollo. It's all smoke and stuff like that. Now, I had a couple of jokes and obviously you've gigged this set a lot, you know, in the last few weeks. I thought, right, play for the cameras at home and I can feel sort of the flop sweat starting. I don't really understand the energy in the room and I'm trying not to be worried about it. And then I hear like, Roshin, Roshin. I thought I'm being heckled. So I'm just like straight down the lens, but quite manic,

quite like, this is going to go go great and then I look to the side of me and there's just a man like walking across the stage and he works for the show but he's walking so slowly that obviously afterwards my sister said he'd been walking across the stage for about 40 seconds and you're doing material no one knows what's going on and he says oh sorry one of the cameras blew up we have to go again so my mic's cut so the audience would just be like what's happening and um so I sort of come off and I'm like what's happening and I'm sort of in a state because I'm gonna have to choose this material to open the show again because I have to come through the smoke and the doors and all this stuff again

and it's taken quite a long time and I sort of go backstage and the makeup lady comes to try and fix my face and I was like honestly I couldn't care less I was like I've got to you know work out a joke to you know to go through the smoke again so I go back on stage and it's fine you know the gig's fine I'm obviously rattled there's bits you can see and I'm there's a bit when I'm like hey come on my hello is like I just sound insane I'm like oh we will like it's so it's so awful um and then it goes all right. You know, it's fine. You know, sort of get through it. It's not a bad edit, to be fair. But I come off, my sister's like, what's with the makeup, mate?

And I was like, what? And then so I go to the bathroom. I've just got sort of a completely different colour nose to the rest of my face. So basically, the long and short of it is I think somewhere along the line Romesh Ranganathan was the other host on the previous show and they have powder and stuff and uh I don't know how it got you know maybe I used it I don't know I don't know but but basically I don't wear powder because I get psoriasis. So I only normally put powder on just before I go on because you get ready, you know, like an hour before whatever,

it just comes out. So I think it might've been in the dark and they have ours. They put like an R on the powder or something like that, or I don't know, but basically. So he's very dark skinned. Oh, he's an Asian man.

Yeah. And you're light skinned. I'm a Caucasian woman. And, uh, and then basically they see, do you hide my my nose, is how they dealt with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when it came out, My Love at the Apollo, basically my Twitter just blew up with why she had a nose job,

what she'd done to her nose. Google image, Roisin Conaty live at the Apollo. You can see they've just taken the bone out of my nose. But imagine that moving around a stage. It's quite something. But people are like, why did she fix her nose? Oh my God, yes. As soon as you Google it, just even on the still image, it looks weird.

So that's moving around a stage. You look like a skull or something. Don't I? It's mad. And I've got quite a small nose anyway for my face. I've got quite a big face. So I don't know how it got on me. I'm not saying it was a makeup lady because I'm sure she wouldn't have done that.

But somewhere along the line, I ended up with the wrong colour nose. That still is very good. Look at that. I mean. With your eyes wide open. Look at the bone. Look at the bone in my nose. It looks as if you've had a horrible accident

and they've just stuck a tiny prosthetic nose on at the last minute. If you see that moving on a stage, it's quite something. People are like, what's going on? And my Twitter was just, first of all, maybe it wasn't. Maybe the camera did it and then it was just like. Oh, wow. God, how stressful. I get freaked out whenever I do TV, because I do it so seldom now. Yeah.

I always think to myself, oh, no, I'm fine. I'm comfortable with my place in the world. I'll just turn up. You know, you imagine that you're going to be like Bob Mortimer or something you know you just sit back and take it easy and just be silly no I get really really nervous and my brain empties and I start grinning like a tit and I think that's I had that's happened to me that's what I feel like as well it's that that brain freeze you're not usually left struggling for something to say because you've got loads of material. Yeah. But on those panel shows where you're supposed to respond to what everyone else is doing.

Oh, man. I mean, you've been on quite a few of them. You've done Have I Got News For You? How was that for you? Because I did that and it was a nightmare. I've done it quite a lot now. You know, I've done it probably about eight or nine times. Have you?

Yeah. So the last few times I've sort of enjoyed it because I, the first time I did Have I Got News For You I got really roasted onto it and it really because I brought lots of friends to come and watch me do it so naive you know so this is quite a few years ago it's like eight or nine years ago and I had a really good record you know because there's less people than most panel shows there's only two on each side isn't there it's like you know whereas most panel shows you can have five you know three on each side and then the edit came out and it just kept showing me laughing i just remember my gums kept showing up on the screen like really

close like hatefully close hd gum yeah but not me speaking and then i remember it being you know my house people watching that's all my best friends looking at each other like oh it's been a real learning curve i think especially when you first go on them you're the least famous person in the room you know as always you're sitting next to people who've got writers writing with them all week you know they're millionaires based on this you know looking like they're just on the spot and you're like this woman who everyone's like wow women especially at the beginning you know like who's the girl but actually some of them now I've got you know I'm not as frightened of them you know I, I sort of, I don't, I read a great thing Kevin Bridges said, and it really eased it for me.

He said, my job is to be funny, not to make space for me to talk. And I thought that was quite liberating. I was like, yeah, if I don't get a chance to speak, then it's not my fault. It ruins everything. So I was just like, oh, if I don't get a chance, that's just a, that's a format problem, isn't it? You know, everyone's sussing each other out, that kind of thing. So the more you do it, the more it's a little bit like you work out stuff.

And at their best, I've had some real fun on them. At their worst, they're really horrible. You lose confidence. You feel, especially when you are the guest on the show and you're not famous in the way that they are, is if they just, you know, don't laugh or look out because the audience go by their reaction to you you know and i think the best shows are those i like watching the shows where they're getting on with each other and having fun like you wouldn't be like i want to

be in that gang especially if you're doing topical i think it's quite hard to make sure i would say to not change the shape of how you write or do your material it can be dangerous i think i couldn't get a writer to just give me a line people will know i didn't write it i can't really do like i don't but you know you need to let people have their shapes and some shows don't they're like no exactly i know exactly what you mean and that's the nice thing about um dictionary corner on eight out of ten cats for me you're so great in it it's so great corner and i can just exist on my own it It's one of the few shows, I think, Katz, where alternative comedians, just through Dictionary Corner, which is quite, you know,

says something about the sort of state of our TV sometimes, is that you go, Dictionary Corner is one of the few places where alternative comedians can come and do a bit on mainstream telly, without it being like, you know, on a mainstream, you know, everyone's watching it, television show. You go, yeah, lots of those people who are brilliant, awardwinning comedians like yourself you know you can't go and do mop the week you know but you know you can't they're sort of you know exactly you're not giving them

the shape and i can no longer do have i got news for you did you not enjoy it oh it was terrible being funny i'd like you know it's being funny in the way that doing the stuff you want to be funny at sometimes like you know if you get a topic and you go i don't want to talk about the iraq war i don't want to be funny about that tonight i'm not like why am i talking about you know like it's just a thing like sometimes you've got an idea about it but you know it can feel quite the topics you choose to talk about reveal just as much as how you tackle them so sometimes you do a panel show you're talking about things that you go i want to work big brother i mean my main problem i think is that while you were saying the word topic i was just thinking of a chocolate bar with a hazelnut in every bite oh lovely do they still exist i don't

think they do snickers have got very small i've really noticed and then i watched a seinfeld episode they got smaller and you got big i ate four the other night. So I'm blaming Snickers. Are they really? Do they come in different sizes? I know they come in extra big sizes. No, they're like this big now. Are you sure you're not just getting them out of a family pack? No, I've really had a Snickers buzz on.

I get quite a... Like when I get on a chocolate week, it's one chocolate I want and it's just Snickers. It is a very superior bar. It's a meal. It's like a meal. It is a very superior bar. It's a meal. It's like a meal. It is a meal. It's a well-balanced meal.

And then I watched a SciVo episode recently, the one where Elaine's boss eats the Snickers with a knife and fork. Okay. And I was like, look at the size of it. It's like a big old plank of chocolate. It would be nice in an airport to get a Snickers the size of a large loaf of bread. Oh my God. And if they were sliced like a loaf as well.

Why don't they do that? Why don't they do? What the shit is going on in the world? I think I'll go to a baker's and go, do you want a slice of Mars? The world is upside down. I think we've established that some panel shows, especially Have I Got News For You, can provide a person with one of the most traumatic experiences

they will ever experience, that completely puts in the shade a lot of what other people talk about as being hard in life and also that chocolate manufacturers are missing a massive trick exactly by not creating especially for you know obviously everyone's saying oh people, people need less sugar. The population's getting obese. Come on, be realistic. Market forces demand large bread-sized loaves of Snickers cut into sections. It'd be really nice. Imagine like a party. You get there and you go, you bring out a cake, but it's just a massive Snickers bar.

And for breakfast. This is what the future's probably going to be like. You'll have, instead of be like you'll have instead of toast you'll have two slices of snickers and then on top of that you'll put jam and honey and things like that and butter not honey honey gets honey so overrated oh what it doesn't pull its weight from the press it gets oh sheen you oh we were going on so well it's not what are you talking about it sort of starts off it's got all the hallmarks of a of sugar and then it sort of takes a real spicy little turn so it's too savory for you it just goes like you're like sweet oh there's a lot of taste around that sugar

you're not eating the right honey i've got i'm on manuka at the moment that's not bad but you have to like you can't really taste it manuka that is that's healthy honey yeah it's torture what other honey you're gonna have nice honey nice thick set honey what would you have it on porridge nah toast come off it of all of the things you can spread on bread you're gonna go with honey like we're in the Middle Ages. What are you talking about? It's absolutely amazing. I could think of ten more things. A buttery toast with some honey.

Holy Christmas. And also, I went through a phase that I just had to stop after a while because I could tell that it was doing me no good health-wise. morning I was getting white bread and not even toasting it and just putting butter on and then a load of thick set honey that was so thick set that it sometimes threatened to bust up the consistency of the actual bread you know I was getting tearing so it was a really long drawn out process I had to warm the honey a little bit so that it wouldn't tear the bread. And then it would flop around very satisfyingly. Yorkshire tea and my two big bits of bread with honey. Party time! And then I'd get a tummy ache and I'd want to go to sleep.

I mean, yeah, we didn't have a lot of white bread. My mum's Irish, so we had a lot of soda bread. Very sort of, now very trendy kind of bread. But growing up, we're like, why can't we just live like normal people, Mum? Yeah, she was trying to look after you. Yeah, why can't we just have this? Mum was always saying, like, bread's meant to break.

She likes it when they crumble. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she's right. She's right. Yeah. So, yes, excuse me. Just doing a little wind management.

Good. I'd like to start doing that um burping myself like a big baby yeah before i go to bed sometimes i lie down i thought oh i'm getting indigestion i have to sit up and just like sit there in the dark on my own thinking oh it's got to be more to life than this myself i don't think there is you know so yes you mentioned your ma and the fact that she's irish obviously, you have a very Irish name. Yes. But I was thrown off, of course, by your North London accent.

Yes. Because you grew up in Camden. I did indeed. Good old Camden. Did you ever see the Nutty Boys wandering around? Who are the Nutty Boys? Madness. Oh, I did, yes.

Yeah, did you? Yes, I did. I saw... All information. So funny. Everyone in Camden is sort of like, you know, New Jersey. I imagine... All in formation. So funny. Everyone in Camden is sort of like, you know, in New Jersey, I imagine everyone sort of makes out they're related to Bruce Springsteen.

Everyone in Camden is sort of like, yeah, he's my cousin. You know, everyone's sort of related to madness. It is. Yeah. But yeah, I saw them a couple of times, just like near the station. You know, it's not that many times considering. Jazzy B was also from Camden. Jazzy B, that's right. And um in Ireland I was a

very a big liar when I was a kid. A liar? Yeah but really like. Were you? Yeah really loved getting I'd just tell big lies very imaginative um I was in Ireland and I was staying in Kerry with my cousin Sabrina and I've she'd you know she'd gone through bellyfuls of lies and then her friend soul to soul were very big at the time and i said oh jazzy b lives near me and then uh she was like oh cool cool you know and i looked away and i turned around quite fast and i saw her sort of doing the thing to her friend like miming she's mad right and i was like twizzling the finger yeah yeah that's it yeah and i was like i do and then i got back and i think i must have been like nine it's never good to see someone doing that, is it?

No. But the rage, I basically just stalked Jazzy B, so I knew where he lived, and then just sat outside his house, and I had this little Kodak little throwaway camera. And then I think his wife or someone came up one day, and were like, little girl, what are you doing? I was like, I'm waiting for Jazzy B. They're like, he's on tour.

I was like, oh. But I went there for about three days. I became quite obsessed with him then. you were determined to prove your friend wrong yeah but i could never really get the evidence um until google happened like about five years you know then i emailed her my cousin i emailed her i was like this is where he lived he did live in camden so have you stopped lying um yeah i, did you tell bad lies or just fun, made-up fantasy lies? Fantasy lies, not bad lies. I didn't get anyone...

It's Jessie B. I didn't want to tell you. I didn't put anyone in jail. What is it? That's the outside buzzer for this house. I don't like to respond to any buzzers or rings or anything like that i like to pretend that it doesn't affect me because it's not going to be for me my wife gets furious at home because i never answer the phone because i'm like it's not for me no one calls me because they my friend garth

jennings sometimes calls me and that's despite the fact that the first time he called me out of the blue when we were towards the beginning of our friendship, I've known him for years and years, but he phoned me up one afternoon and I was like, hey, hi Garth, how are you doing? And he was like, yeah, good, yeah, just, and he started waffling on about some nonsense. And then he picked up from the tone of my voice

that I was sort of going, what's the point of this call? Because I'm just not used to having chatty calls. There was a time when things were more chatty, but then I think mobiles ruined that for me. They ended up becoming synonymous with something more functional. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I was getting a call, it was going to be something professional, and it wouldn't be chatty. they took the ceremony out of calls you know this sort of someone's on the phone for you but i facetime quite a lot now so i hear i saw you talking to russell howard about it yeah and you said to him because he was like why would you want to facetime and you're like why wouldn't you that that is the apex of modern communication yeah sound and vision and i was thinking no no no no no that's

exactly my worst nightmare if anyone ever facetimes me i ignore it we'll all be doing it soon we'll have like holograms and we'll just be like little furry little balls in our house and we'll just have people like a whole thing that just goes out and lives like our avatars i'm not against that anything that means i can stay in my house. You want to get out into the world and get on the tubes and then go into offices that you don't know and then meet someone who's rude to you on the way. And I'm like, let's limit everyone.

Limit all the... When I'm alone and when I'm at home, that's what I want to be. I want to be alone. And I want to choose the times when I'm interacting with people. So when someone FaceTimes me, it's like they've just transported into my nice, comfortable, lonely space. I can see the transporter beam, and I just want to disrupt it and scatter their atoms to another part of the universe. Are you good at replying to emails and texts and things

like that no i'm really really bad it's one of those things where i don't know you get to a certain point you go am i ever going to get good at it i don't know it's not intentional i don't find it that's the thing it's not a thing that i'm like yeah i'm really bad at it like i'm proud of i don't mean to be yeah yeah i feel like i'm on top of something and then i look down i've got 40 000 unread emails and like at the moment probably like 400 messages i haven't read on my phone yeah and that sounds like i'm being like humble braggy it's not it's just literally not deleting things that's what happens it's not like oh I'm so popular I've got you go no no that's what happens if you never delete an email and you stay in hotels and you sign up and give you know your

email address you're going to get a lot of junk um something to be pretty intense and do you get in trouble for it yeah I try to keep on top of it, but I'm trying to be better. I'm trying not to be late as much as well. It's the thing my therapist is obsessed with. As I was waiting today for Roisin to arrive, she was around 45 minutes late, I was reading an article that said, Roisin is very late to our interview and turns up looking flustered. I mean, it's his disease. You know how you always think of certain things that the topic will trigger just one particular memory.

And when anyone talks about lateness, I always think of this interview I read with Ricky Gervais where he said, there's no excuse for it. There's absolutely no excuse. All you have to do is leave earlier and be on time. It's as simple as that. And I remember reading it and thinking, yeah. It's totally correct.

But therefore, what you have to believe then is that people who are late are inherently bad. And they're sort of going like this. Don't care. That's the thing, isn't it? That's not true. That isn't true. That fascinating thing, like my favourite is that she's like, where do you go? Like if I'm 10 minutes, I'm always 10 10 minutes late she's obsessed with where did i lose you

know this sort of and i can't i sort of it's like i'm quantum leaped i'm like i don't know it was i was on time and then you have to sort of go over the detail i picked up my keys did i pick up my kit you know that bit and then i think that's the thing is that the last minute that's what it is i'm a last minute ditherer so everything will be fine i'll tell myself okay the train is at 11 it's going to take me 45 minutes to cycle to the station i've got to be ready to leave the house at 10 i've got to stop what i'm doing at 9 45 in order to prepare for leaving the house but even then even after i've rehearsed the timing of the whole thing it'll be like i'll just go upstairs and just do that thing because i'm in good time now so i'm just going to do that thing and then of course and also because of our jobs like when i had a full-time normal job it's a lot easier because you go these are the times and your

body sort of responds you go well these are the time you know it's time to get up and go but i don't think you get that being self-employed that sort of you know i think the people who are very good at it but they're organized people they plan their day out the night before they know they're that's never been a natural thing for me so i've always found it a bit like what where am i going where am i like i'll get into cars like sorry where are we going sometimes i will eventually respond to a text three weeks later and i'll say you know sorry for the reply lag yeah and i just hope that people understand that it's not malicious no but it's like when people forget your name i'm fine when people don't remember me and don't remember my name i presume since the internet our brains are full

and we meet hundreds of people and some people do that thing and i hate it because it's designed to make you feel i try but people like people are like, we've met before. And I go, oh, okay, where did we meet? And they go, oh,

we did a gig together in 2009. And I go, okay, did we speak? And they go, no. And I go, you know what?

I've been at some fair to sort of be like, you know, like we've gigged before actually, like basically subtext, you're a horrible, you know, sort of shallow. Yeah.

And you're like, I don't care. I meet people who I've gigged with, you know, and they're like, hey, and I've met them. I don't go, sorry, actually, I've met you before. I'm just like, oh, hey. And if they go, did we meet before? I go, yeah, you know, it's fine.

It's life. I don't imagine I made it into your, like, stormy. I am that important stormy. Exactly. You know. Exactly. Think the best of people. Yeah.

All right? For fuck's sake we want to be late we don't want to respond to you we don't we don't want to remember your names and we just want everyone to be okay with us

yeah I just want to carry on being shitty and not be hassled about it is that too much to ask it's not illegal to be a dickhead guys excuse me Is that too much to ask? It's not illegal to be a dickhead, guys.

Excuse me. Excuse me. That was a wind from down inside me. It has escaped from my inside garden. And now I humbly beg your pardon. Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. My mum's got a funny thing that even if i'm far away in the house and i've been working and if i burp and she'll be like she'll go say excuse me and it infuriates me so much she will not let one slide even if you're and i say do you think i

should say it on my own if i'm in the flat on my own she's like you should always say it for the habit like if I just do like a mini like she'll be like I'll wait what five four say excuse me darling

mum I agree with you yeah she is from Limerick Dromkollacher yeah wow is that seriously

how you pronounce it Dromkollacher yeah Dromkollacher whoa I got halfway there because usually with Irish names yeah forget about it Droncolachur. Yeah, wow. Is that seriously how you pronounce it? Droncolachur, yeah. Droncolachur. Whoa, I got halfway there, because usually with Irish names, forget about it. You're not going to, because that's the other thing, is people who get all bent out of shape when you've never seen a name before and you have a go at pronouncing it, you're way off.

And they're like, actually, no, it's not like that at all. How offensive. Just tell them. Droncolachur, okay, great. not like that at all how offensive just tell them yeah um John Collagher okay great and your your dad when he was alive he was also Irish was Irish an Irish man who worked for Aer Lingus yes oh my god you're literally going through that's good so you spent obviously a lot of time in Ireland you'd go even though you were growing up in Camden you'd go on holiday back in Ireland. You'd go, even though you were growing up in Camden, you'd go on holiday back in Ireland. Cork and Kerry. Now, I went to Kerry for the first time earlier this year

because my producer, Seamus, his family are from that part of the world, and he very kindly invited me over there to do a bit of writing at their house. Whereabouts was it? Kells Bay. Oh, okay, yeah. That's at Nickle Organ. Is it out that way? Carchavine? Oh, yes, yes. of writing at their at their whereabouts was it kel's bay oh okay yeah that's nickel organ is out that way karshavene oh yes yes it's a bit near the beach near the beach yeah yeah yeah yeah

right on the coast yeah it's beautiful isn't it it's stunning kerry's stunning yeah really a magical place did you ever go to kel's Bay House and Gardens? No. Did you not? No, I don't think so. Sort of botanical gardens around there. I went for a walk around there when I was a child. It's really beautiful. They've got sort of prehistoric plants and trees that have been planted there. And I was hoping you were going to say, yeah, of course, I'm always going to Kells Bay House and Gardens because I wanted to share a TripAdvisor review oh share it anyway though do you like

reading TripAdvisor reviews oh my god who doesn't and do you automatically just go to the worst ones of course what's the point reading praise it's awful it's a really awful thing as human beings well we've established that we're terrible people but no it's not it's survival you have to find out the worst things first also i just said yeah so i'm one of the worst people in the world so here is a review i saw that made me chuckle terrible place that's the title of the review what should i call my review um um Disappointing House and Gardens. No, no, no. Ah, Terrible Place. Yes, yes.

Terrible Place. We went for dinner there. The service was poor, as the owner, Billy, treated us like children. After a mediocre meal, we decided to go to the gardens. We walked in the front entrance, and the owner saw us walk it. We were not sure if we had to pay, so we looked at him to see if it was okay to go ahead. He walked off, so we assumed it was okay to go on. After viewing the first portion of the gardens, we bumped into Billy. He then told us

we had to pay, so I explained how we looked at him to see if it was okay to go ahead earlier on. Once I told him this, he replied, are you serious? This man is horrible at handling situations that many businessmen would come across. I.e. people saying, but I looked at you. What? I assumed it was fine to drive the car out of the showroom because I looked at you. And you didn't tell me not to. Imagine not even, like, when you write a review like that,

he's definitely going to, like, limit how much information that makes him look bad. And that's his edited version of the evening. Like, imagine that's what makes the print how awful he was. Maybe he wasn't. By the way, I should say for the sake of transparency, that is an edited version of his review. It's been edited for length,

but the original meaning and spelling has not been altered. Yeah. And that goes for this one. Can I read you another one? Yeah. I'm scared about Kawa's place, though. Aren't you just going to make people not want to go there? Oh, it's beautiful.

You need to counteract these people. No, counteract. I had a wonderful time. I haven't eaten at the restaurant, so I can't vouch for it i'm sure it's fine it's got many many many positive trip advisor reviews what's his points on there uh massive i mean it's like uh just shy of five stars oh okay perfect it's fine it's great there's always going to be a couple of disgruntled people who've just been unlucky and here's another one of them and this one is entitled

the most terrible experience I've ever had so that's big isn't it you're expecting something massive but it's not that bad I'm trying to think of the voice for this one I think it's going to be similar to the last one my and my friend's experience with the restaurant

were unfortunately very unpleasant we were told we would be situated in the Winter Garden, which satisfied us, as it looked pretty on the photographs. Imagine our surprise when it turned out to be freezing cold all night. I mean, I would have said, maybe think about the fact that it's called the Winter Garden. I mean... Anyway, when everyone finally ordered,

it took the staff over 40 minutes. We had a timer on to bring us starters. That's in brackets. We had a timer on. That's such bullshit. After 1.5 hour, the waitress finally started appearing from the warmer part of the restaurant. That wasn't a winter garden with our food, but no one received their main dish at the same time.

To add more, to go to the bat room, we had to go outside. That's how it's spelled. Unless they're talking about a special bat room. I like that they say the waitress came from the part of the restaurant that wasn't the winter... The warm part. Like she defrosted.

When the waitress finally defrosted, she showed up. That's right. She started moving. Came from the warmer climes. Anyway, to go to the bat room,

we had to go outside. It was located just on the right side of the door to the winter garden. Twice, one of us accidentally of the door to the Winter Garden. Twice, one of us accidentally left the door to the Winter Garden open while it was cold and raining outside. During the second time, the manager walked extremely angry and fast to the door and with a very loudly slammed the door. Imagine how awful we felt.

We just did it twice left the door of the winter garden open while it was freezing cold and there was a storm outside only twice and yet extremely loudly slammed the door

he did and we wanted just to go to the bathroom can you imagine how awful we felt anyway listen God forbid that those people should be listening to this podcast no they should be listening be good for them to listen in the light of day when they're going about their lives because you think you can just leave these bullets of hate in the

mood that you're in but it's really good for sober calm you to be you know like you ever seen a text you've sent angry like oh god like you need it read out you need to be like you need it read out in a stupid voice yeah someone's gonna go like did this need to go a little smug twat yeah are you a complainer i've got better at complaining have you yeah it's a skill isn't it professionally i've had to learn that as well like having to say i'm not happy with that and this is how you say things exactly you know and i think once you're sure that you've said it and that you've been polite about. And I think once you're sure that you've said it and that you've been polite about it and you've been clear,

I find men in restaurants gross generalisation, but I find them men who are, this is, like I say, a gross generalisation, don't everyone go, not all men. People who are on stage will say the worst things, and they'll have a ridiculous meal, so it's off or something. And they're like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. And I'm like, don't say anything, don't say anything.

And I'm like, that's mad. Just say it. Be polite about it and just say sorry. You know, people that would blow your mind, you'd be like panicking about sending a meal back. Whereas I'm just like, I'm quite happy to. I thought you were going to say men are often the ones who do the most unreasonable complaining. I mean, that's been my experience of seeing just blokes throwing their weight around a bit. And they're just like, we've been waiting.

This is outrageous. We've been waiting 40 minutes for our starters. All this kind of stuff. That's my overall experience. However, your point is well made. And I do feel that I'm probably one of those men that is too gutless to actually just do a perfectly reasonable complaint. And that's how, of course, people improve. They rely on you on a reasonable bit of criticism.

But the problem is that the art of reasonable criticism is not one that is currently thriving in the modern world. No. People's tendency is to be very harshly judgmental and just dismissive and contemptuous with their criticism, you know, in a way that doesn't do anyone any good. No. Because the other person there

or the business that they're criticising just recoils and goes, well, I'm not going to engage with you because you're a dick. Totally. I think it's also there's like, you know, the more you charge, the reviews are harsher. You know, that's the thing. Exactly.

The more people's expectations are raised, the more they become ind reviews are harsher you know that's the thing exactly with the more people's expectations are raised the more they become indignant when they're yeah but i still agree with you the criticism the way we speak about everything that everything should conform to our needs and it's hard because we live in quite narcissistic so it's like you know that everything should be catered we're all at the center of the world doesn't this come back a little bit to what we were saying about texts? Yeah. And people getting bent out of shape when you don't respond to them quickly enough or when you don't treat them exactly the way they think they should be treated or whatever. And rather than just sort of going, oh, OK, well, you know,

these things happen and moving on or forgetting about it. People are just like, no. Yeah. If you look at Instagram and Twitter, we're all, everyone's running this movie of their life everyone's got this sort of narrative going on i think it's very hard to switch we become far more um aware of yeah and aware of twatish and aware of our of ourselves and our needs and how we're seen and how it's reflected and so complaining is a thing i think you have to

and also i think once you're in a complaining mood you get into that zone and i think because of the news the news cycles we're all in a kind of like, it's all bad. And you get everywhere. And I think it's sort of, I do think it gets into ourselves that we're all sort of a bit more like, yeah, this is all part of it. Everything's a reflection of, you know, this sort of conspiracy of. It's true. It's true. And I say this in no way to impugn the world of feminism and the way things are going as far as sexual politics are concerned and relations between the genders. That's a very long caveat before I say this. off when they start reading or thinking about the way that the patriarchy operates, the way that society is structured, the way that crazy assumptions are made about how women should

behave and act and appear, etc, etc. And once you start noticing those things, you can't stop. Yeah, it's like you're surrounded by this mad, mad world. And you can sort of get sucked into only seeing it that way. you know what i mean i'm not suggesting that that's i would rather that people were aware of those things the alternative is worse yeah but you can suddenly become completely caught up in the idea of and it's also a bit the same with uh all sorts of other bad things or things that need changing in the world you know you can only see the world through the lens of worrying about those things well totally i you know women and feminism i think is a little bit because i do think that is such a shift in consciousness and i'm saying this is

probably white women as well i should say so i do think there are things and i think a lot of us haven't digested so much of it that as you know we're kind of unraveling and i think men are as well so i don't think it's just i don't think it's just a thing that women are going i mean i regret choosing feminism as an example there because it sounds as if i'm sort of saying oh it's gone mad it's pc gone mad which i'm my instinct is to respond like because we're so far away from where we need to be that my instinct is to push back and be like oh no i can't not feminism but i understand what you're saying though i do get when any movement happens there's always nuance within everything but we're so far away from that uh position we're still unraveling so much of our behavior and uh what's been happening and how we how we're programmed

and stuff like that I think there's so much still coming out and we're still you know like how this works and how that you know it's too soon to say perhaps that's not based on that because we're we're still going through that process i think it'll take obviously you know a long time but in recent years say with the me too and times up and stuff like that i feel like a lot of us have gone through our rolodexes not like not huge massive you know uh sexual assaults and stuff but like sort of things that we just took as normal things we had to put up with as women and you thought that's just how it is yeah and now hearing young women talk and i'm like i just and that feels really it makes you feel really old because you're like it's quite a shift it's quite a lot to take on you know to sort of be like wow

this is stuff you just let go because you couldn't really digest you just thought that's how it is that's how you have to sort of be exist in this business how you have to exist in the world and how sort of they're not obvious things you don't have the language for that power struggle you don't have the language for how that the micro things that seemingly are micro but actually end up framing how you behave how you respond how you feel you know and i suppose i'm a little bit like no not feminist yeah yeah sorry that was a bit convoluted I'm not very no I know exactly what you mean and as I say I regret using that as an example because it immediately positions me as someone who is in some way criticizing that and I'm absolutely not no it's like anything you know when you start thinking about something and learning about

something that's the way you see the world yeah and that's a thing that had to happen with so many things that are happening now with gender politics and all sorts of things totally but um it's like have you ever seen they live the film no it's a john carpenter film and it's about aliens who have kind of integrated themselves on Earth and now they are behind all sorts of inequalities and systems that ought to be changed. They're kind of behind the corporations and advertising. It's sort of a science fiction paranoid fantasy, this thing, you know, an allegorical film. And, you know, they'd be behind the patriarchy

and all this sort of thing. And this guy, they get these glasses that they can put on. And when they put the glasses on, it enables them to see the members of society that are actually these aliens. And because not everyone is an alien, right? Right. But everyone looks normal without the glasses. But then when you put the glasses on, you can see the aliens. And they're all like hideous skull creatures with flesh stripped away and their

muscles exposed you know and you can also look at advertising hoardings and things like that and instead of it being an advert for uh swimwear or whatever with a beautiful model on it all it is is just a white sign with bold type that says consume and you know yeah everything is stripped away with the goggles on and that's what it's a bit like that's what i was trying to say and i remember when i was at art school and i was writing my thesis about some aspect of the media i can't remember what and i was reading all these books about the media and about television i read a book called amusing ourselves to death by Neil Postman, which is still, I think, considered kind of a seminal text in this whole world of considering

at a deeper level how we interact with media and what it does to us as a society. And suddenly, that's the only way that I could see the world. You know, every advert that I watched, I was kind of deconstructing and I was saying, ah, look, that's what they're really saying. And it was like I was wearing the goggles, you know? And all I could see was like, consume, obey, submit. And I think that's probably how women see the world once they, now that this third wave of feminism has broken. And I'm sure that you can't see it any other way ever again.

It's a valuable thing. And I think there was, like you're saying, I think, you know, and there's so much going on in the world, isn't there, at the moment? Because it's not just, you know, within white women elected Trump, like the groups which we see ourselves in, I think, are becoming, you know, they're so polarised now. The crossover is seen as like somehow inauthentic and centrist. It's like a dirty word.

And anyone who's like, like you say, puts a bit of nuance up, maybe that's not it and that is it. You you know nuance is a thing that we're struggling with throughout all the conversations about everything you know which we all know is a terrible way to have any philosophy and i think the media has you know and everything's a conspiracy my uber driver said to me the other day what do you think what do you think about the moon the moon it was this full moon i went it's nice what do you think about it moon? The moon? It was this full moon. I went, it's nice. He went, what do you think about it? He was like, they didn't land on the moon. He said the moon's not real.

Oh, the moon's not real? Yeah. He was like, we only see one side of the moon. And he got into this whole thing. And he was laughing at himself. So he was very charming doing it. Sort of this very, you know, he was like, listen, I know it sounds crazy.

It's just my opinion. And I was like, yeah, but. I haven't heard that before. Oh, I have heard this. The moon's not real. This is a huge thing. Like there's a huge thing at the moment where. Oh, was there some guy on GMTV or something the other day? Yeah, it you haven't heard that before. Oh, I've heard this. The moon's not real. This is a huge thing. There's a huge thing at the moment where... Oh, was there some guy on GMTV or something the other day?

Yeah, it's madness. But this is legitimately where we're getting to with this, you know, level of conspiracy. And that's what I think deep down, there's a real sense that there's some secret thing and it could be women. They're trying to get everything. And then you've got the white nationalists going, oh, it's the immigrants. And it's it could be women they're trying to get everything and then you've got the white nationalists going oh it's immigrant like and it's really sort of like they're

coming they're coming for us and that's really in the air and then now you've got you know that's the scary thing that we're not it's almost like sort of medieval thing yeah i remember before the election i just i was like you know all these conservatives and stuff and i was like well it's gonna be quite old people you know in america so it's gonna be this old republican and I I went looking because I saw his rallies and um I found that Tommy Laron and she's probably saying her name wrong but she was like this 22 23 a Barbie looking conservative you know kind of very blonde very glamorous very sort of unchristian right that you would look you know she looked like a Hollywood sex pot and she was

like furious and guns and and i remember thinking oh they'll get in this is a new movement this is not a thing this is not this old sort of conservative right making this comeback this is a youth movement as much as anything you know and that's what was really frightening and i did have a good news for you as we've discussed and i said i think trump will get in nick clegg was hosting and they were like don't be so miserable and afterwards we're chatting about with the bar and they were like you know it's 50 of the population women women and i was like not all women hold the same views on what being a woman and feminism is you know like or you know or don't care you know their religious freedom or their racism comes before anything so i just felt

like it didn't do us any favours to not know I agree with you but I don't think you should promote it but I don't I do think it's your duty to know it's going on I think we have a thing you shouldn't be like when did this start you know you're like well it's all over the internet really if you look you can see it's there and you can see that you know when you've got a youth movement which is what that was and I think with a far right in America they're not old men they're young guys walking around you know, when you've got a youth movement, which is what that was. And I think with the far right in America, they're not old men. They're young guys walking around, you know. And that's, I mean, you know, in the same way in Europe, it's a youth movement. And that is terrifying.

I think some people, it's really traumatic to follow people that they hate. I follow people that I'm like, yeah, I'm going to keep my eye on. I started off doing that. I started off following people I didn't agree with for exactly those reasons. Because I thought, well, it's good to be across different points of view. But after a while, I was just worn down. Yeah. And I just thought, fuck this.

And also, it's Twitter. You know, I can get my news from somewhere else. I don't think Twitter is the best medium for nuanced political discussion. Maybe you're right. I think the papers are too late i hadn't thought of it like that but now you've put it like that i think it is the best place it's not good for nuance but the idea is so quick i remember when the time of the riots and i was in edinburgh remember the riots in london sure yeah and i had the bbc on and i remember thinking right

you know like and i was like what's's happening? And then I went on Twitter. Right, for news flashbacks. I'm talking about kind of political discussion and debate. Oh, yeah. But I also, it just. For actual, for getting factoids. Yeah, great. However, I've read and found people on Twitter I never would have found. And voices I never would have heard of.

Articles that have made me change my mind. Or made me go like, oh, that's okay. When you put you put it like that this is really uncomfortable I don't know what I think about that you would have found those articles elsewhere wouldn't you no I don't think I'm not I don't you know I wouldn't have looked it's a thing that's come up and you know I don't go looking for I don't think it's flawless I think it's quite bad for you I think it's quite bad for my brain I don't think it's a good place to be Twitter isn't a kind of like go on friendly Twitter have a little look around it's like oh go on see what awful things are happening and who's saying awful things i saw danny baker tweeting the other day after who was it oh michael cain was shitting on

about uh brexit right and airing some you know depending on your point of view relatively odd wrong-headed views from a point of view of like, you know, what does he know? He doesn't even live in this country. He's massively rich. So people just went for him. Yeah. And they were, fuck you, Michael Caine, you fucking bastard. And you stupid, senile old shitter.

And I don't know if they were exactly saying that. You know what you tweeted. Yeah. Those are the two things i tweeted um but danny baker was saying to paraphrase all right look we don't agree with him some people do some people don't i don't agree with him personally but it's not necessary to unleash this tidal wave of rage every time someone says something you don't agree with. And he said it's a sickness. Any conversation around politics at the moment, everyone is using that language around any of the conversations we're having in the world.

There's no conversation where someone isn't getting told you're responsible for this worst thing that's happening and you're the worst thing. And I think everyone's at that heightened level. And I understand because the stakes are high. Totally. People feel passionate. Yeah.

I think the conflation of passion and righteous indignation with just rage. And accusations, I think of saying, of shutting down a thing where it's not a conversation where it's, and that's what I mean about power. It's like controlling the conversation. And that's what scares me a little bit. At the worst cases,

a mob can stop someone speaking and we are allowed, unless you're inciting, you know, violence and hatred, you know, and they are precise things. They are not just a different opinion to you because people can bandy that around.

You're like, no, that's just a different opinion. We can't hate half the people who live in the world. You can't live like that. You look at America, Trump governing for the people who he elected and then basically hating half the people you know it's mad you have to we're gonna have to find a way where that's how the our democracies and you know and all their flawed but they're sort of how they function is

that we occasionally we get our way with the government occasionally we don't but the moment it's like death to them death to them and and it is really serious you know we live in these countries with these people our neighbors and i think i don't know how helpful it is to be like once you dehumanize people once you start talking about like they're the enemy we all have a certain group of people or a certain type of person that can bring out that in us like they are the worst people you know who don't get back to texts for sometimes up to three weeks. Exactly. They are the enemy. Evil.

Orlando Bloom. I mean, we can sort this country out, Roshi. Are you going to be running for office any time soon? Who knows? Maybe. I'll tell you what you would do. Your first day in office, you'd make a call to whoever manufactures Snickers. Oh, yeah.

And you'd say, look, for fuck's sake, why can we not buy a family loaf sized Snicker bar that comes ready sliced in order to be slathered with Manuka honey? Oh, not the honey. Not the honey. I'll get the whole honey factory shut down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I struggle with anger sometimes It's being a human being Yeah, it is I don't, like, lose my shit too often unless I'm at Cambridge station. I think anger is the most toxic of the emotion. I think bitterness, if you're doing the old emotion scale. Sure, let's do it.

I think bitterness is rust. I think it ages you. I think it's the most uncomfortable to be around. Because you can't fix it. And if people are bitter, it's just hard to be near them ask my wife um yeah and i think if you are able to sort of dance with your emotions a bit dance with your emotions wow that's the name of the book you can live a rich life rather than being scared of your emotions i think being fearful of your emotions. I think being fearful of your emotions,

being fearful of being out of control, like falling in love, so you don't do things where you go, I can't survive the feeling of it not working. I can't survive that shame. I can't survive people thinking I'm not good. To go into that and go, you sort of can though, it's fine. You know, they were just feelings and we just, we can work through them. It's only when I think you're scared to work through them they just sit there unwrapped so

you just got like a box of feelings i'm thinking of chocolates again this would be a good chocolate range though wouldn't it oh yeah instead of heroes or celebrations yeah you could have uh envy jealousy bitterness and they would you know the bitter one would be... Honey. No, because that's sweet. That would be sweetness. You know, I think for bitterness what are we thinking? Honey? I think honey.

You're fine. It would be good sweets. They would be great sweets. Bitterness, envy. Anger. What would anger taste of? It would be hot sweets. They would be great sweets. Bitterness, envy. Anger. What would anger taste of? It would be hot chilli chocolate. Yes. Anger would be that. Love.

What would love be? If you were really lame, it would be sort of pink strawberry. No, strawberry. The worst ones. No, no, no. Or you could have it really be kind of a bit sexy and dirty and just... No, that would be under sex. Sexy.

That would be under like attraction. Lust. That would be under, like, attraction. Lust. That would be under lust. We need love. It could be for your family. In the lust one, it would just be something that tastes of...

Cheers. Cheers! Wait. This is an advert for Squarespace. Every time I visit your website, I see success. Yes, success. The way that you look at the world makes the world want to say yes. It looks very professional. I love browsing your videos and pics, and I don't want to say yes, it looks very professional. I love browsing your videos and pics and I don't want to stop. And I'd like to access your members area and spend in your shop.

These are the kinds of comments people will say about your website if you build it with Squarespace. Just visit squarespace.com slash Buxton for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, because you will want to launch, use the offer code BUXTON to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. So put the smile of success on your face with Squarespace. Yes. Continue. Rosie, come on, sweet dog. Hey, how you doing? When am I going to play my song?

Just be patient. Roisin Conaty there. Thank you very much indeed to Roisin for her time. I really appreciated her coming over and chatting with me. It was really nice to get to know her a little bit. Are you going to play my Brexit song now? Just wait. All right. I just want to get a couple of thank yous out of the way. Boring. Thanks very much indeed to Seamus Murphy Mitchell for his production support on this episode. Thanks, man. Really appreciate it. And thank you to Annika myson for additional editing annika is a

producer vocalist and visual artist who kindly got in touch with me to offer technical support a few months back on the podcast and she's already been a huge help with this episode and some other episodes that we have in the pipe so So thanks a lot, Annika. She didn't ask me to give her music a plug. Usually when people ask me to plug things, it really encourages me not to. But I thought I would like to give her stuff a shout out because it's good. To quote from her website,

there's a link in the description of the podcast. It's annikamusic.co.uk. Annika has previously featured vocally on critically acclaimed albums by Forest Swords and Fawlty DL, F-A-L-T-Y-D-L, electronic artists both, before developing her own solo material and showcasing it at shows across the UK, Europe and Russia. Here's a little taste of Annika's track Life Force. Give me a flash, give me a word. It's what I want.

There you go, a little bit of Life force for you there by Annika Meissen, who helped edit today's podcast. Thanks a lot, Annika. Right, Rosie, what is this song of yours? Finally, it's called Poo on the Backstop. I mean, I know you've had strong political feelings in the past. Where's this one coming from? I don't know, my bum.

OK, we'll play a little bit of it. This is Rosie's satirical Brexit song. Right, that's enough of that. There's 28 more verses. There's some really funny stuff about Jacob Rees-Mogg. What, rhyming with dog, right? No, not exactly, no. Well, look, maybe another time, but I want to head back now. It's cold.

Fascist. Until next time, we share the same aural space, you and I. Please be careful out there, okay? I love you. Bye! Bye. Give me like a smile and a thumbs up Nice like a hug when they bump up Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe

Give me like a smile and a thumbs up Nice like a hug when they bump up Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Like and subscribe Thank you.