The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - Ep. 287 – remember when we went to japan lol

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

that was cool...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Okay, I'll switch it up switch the pussy 287 and guess who is late late again late again I don't even I went to the bathroom so I thought yeah I don't know where the fuck Adam went he is looking at dresses on the pop is he is looking for vintage fucking I don't know styles of dresses pencil skirt I need to learn more about dresses I just realized you know I should take I should take an interest in what bitches you have a good repertoire I don't because I like you know just for making jokes even most of jokes is knowing things and saying them at the right time exactly and that's what no no no don't what like we're the
Starting point is 00:00:44 assholes you know what you we said 1150 1150 at the latest at the latest and then what did you do disappeared yet again yeah late for two out of three or three out of four how many we got a four I believe late for three out of four in a place well we're all in the same house what were you up to I took my second shit of the day I haven't even done one I just got to be honest with you know what I do the problem is that they come up here and we eat like shit yep and I think like oh that's the food but really what it is a lack of water that gets me I get fucking dehydrated yeah and I can't I can't I still haven't
Starting point is 00:01:23 learned the difference between hunger and thirst sure so I eat or right when you're thirsty it drives me out yeah smart that's why at home I drink like I drink like four liters of water a day apparently that's the metric system that's wrong no it seems to work well for me what do you mean apparently it's wrong they do over hydrate you piss out all your nutrients shit they just changed didn't the lying fake news New York Times trying to cancel drinking water I drink when I'm when I'm thirsty just drink when you're thirsty you don't need eight cups yeah well I drink when I'm thirsty you do you do you feel so
Starting point is 00:01:57 much better when you have a whole I I feel I never go back you know the Ascension the big Ascension bottles yeah so I drink three of those a day those are those are like a liter and a half yeah so two of them is three and then three of them is four point five it's water for hot girls Ascension yeah what are you trying to do misgender me no you're you also drink Ascension yeah cuz I'm trying to attract I'm fucking piece of shit you don't have a yeah I say oh I drink I don't think that water for a while it was a eldest drinks that water man is what he is he loves that water Pete loves that water my friend
Starting point is 00:02:35 Pete I sent you a picture of my penis I say that every time I pull the bottle out of it say that hey Ascension a picture of my penis and I didn't hear back can I get a response can I see can just tell me ballpark what did you think it was good or was bad in my cock after Ascension a picture of my penis received with thanks a funny response to a nude received with thanks received with thanks what's your go-to response when you get a nude I do the double tap ha ha on it the question mark you call these titties did you meant to send this to a doctor no one's ever sent me nudes you're lying
Starting point is 00:03:24 no never you're you're so full of shit so if you're out there and interesting yeah nice move I respect it actually yeah that's a classic I've actually never in my life you've never gotten them either now that I remember I've gotten too many so stop sending them to Adam start sending them to me on this beautiful Thanksgiving Eve this is Wednesday wow Thanksgiving Eve that's kind of the whole family's gone back together Thanksgiving Eve is the tradition what I what I hear is the biggest bar night of the year oh you go back home yeah try and get pussy from the girl from high school yeah she's married you're
Starting point is 00:04:00 like please the Nicholas sparks kind of please I need this getting pussy on Thanksgiving Nicholas sparks yeah yeah have you ever gotten some hometown pussy on Thanksgiving Adam seems like a move I never had a pussy relationship with the hometown what's what I'm saying you go back yeah it's time to get pussy no no I never I never went on pussy expeditions back home yeah I never honestly I've only gone out like on Thanksgiving Eve like maybe twice with I was always doing shows that's what yeah I always I always took as an opportunity to shows and see your friends I don't think I've ever gone home
Starting point is 00:04:36 for Thanksgiving if I go to Thanksgiving I'm gonna my aunt's house a nice big house up in Westchester that's nice that's the spot that is a nice spot yeah and when I don't think I can do I might have to stop going why well because I have no self-control same thing as this shit here right and like I don't know in the last a couple years on Thanksgiving I can't help myself you just you do sniz with your family well I eat too much oh yeah but the last last year I came last year the year before that like someone made like my cousins like fiance made like salted caramel or like these candy pecans and I ate so many of
Starting point is 00:05:15 them that I was like I mean I could feel like my blood sugar getting fucked up I was like dizzy and like my joints hurt yeah it was like I had trouble getting inflammation no literally I was having like trouble thinking and my heart was like it was like you know when like your heart like it's bogged down it's a great feeling a beat and I still could not stop myself yeah it's like I don't like you're like crawling crawling through the desert yeah yeah and you're just making it worse just eating sand yeah drinking salt water on a lifeboat yeah hell yeah no dude I love but that's what Thanksgiving's for you gotta fucking
Starting point is 00:05:50 stuff your shit can't do it man my my literally even now just having like those pretzel which I shouldn't have bought that's on me it is the peanut butter filled pretzels I respect it though I'm getting chest pains and shit shout out to the big why yeah and where are we great Barrington great bearing GA Y GA why what does that mean the big why I don't know what is any supermarket I mean key food is a kids food giant that plays see town that's always funny to see yeah that's you're taking our branding yeah fuck yeah I don't know but we had a nice little burger lunch here shout you know what and we'll say it kudos to Adam
Starting point is 00:06:34 do you see Michael Jordan got arrested for child pornography no he didn't yeah I bought I heard the guy I heard somebody say that yeah really yeah I think I heard what kind of child pornography I don't know just I kind of my ear was burning uh-huh and then I you know I left you think it was Michael Jordan the best basketball that's one of the all time that's one of the words on the street that's really a question stop the no one ass after you hear the term child pornography you never be like oh is it two chicks or yeah you know it's like oh it's not into gay child pedophiles like there's that norm joke where he's
Starting point is 00:07:12 like he's like it is funny to imagine child pornography and it's a little boy knocking on a door and he's got like a pizza there's like a little girl that's like our TV isn't working either yeah he's like that you gotta you gotta mess around with the wires a little sausage little sausage this is a little hairless dick coming through a personal pan pizza driving like a power wheels around your honor we were making cute porn yeah it was cute for kids what do you want these kids to jack off to full grown adults no technically every the director was 16 mm-hmm we had nothing
Starting point is 00:08:02 we just we were just the producers smash cosh we only smash cosh bang trike bang tricycle it's gotta be a little power you're right yeah yeah yeah you want to get want to make some lollipops looks like you need a ride that was like the ultimate toy dude my shit got stolen I had one for three days I would always see kids on Christmas just look looking out the window at these happy kids yeah dude my damn I want a car so bad I had a red I had the red fucking convertible bro it was the best day and it got stolen immediately my cousin my cousin Baltimore in like 19 so this is like Baltimore in 1996 it was like from
Starting point is 00:08:52 Greek town was like dog shit before they came in and we're just like all right they stole kids toys they literally did but there was like a Greek this Greek guy was like the acting commissioner for like six months your house there's no garage or whatever I've been here yeah yeah we have like a little row yeah yeah and my dad just left it out for like 20 minutes gone immediately so I was so fucking sad dude I'm still actually I'm actually kind of like two weeks later you just see like a fully grown black man driving to work no it's my car he's got license but he's got he's got Texas auction place yeah dude no that was a
Starting point is 00:09:36 fucking that was the fucking absolute cat a lack of presence and then after that and then my then and then one time my dad fucking he would get shit all the time randomly because he had he had like the big he had like a big warehouse where he did you know his carpentry his workshop was gigantic it was too big actually he's fucking stupid for keeping his overhead so high but people would like when they wanted to get rid of just he was like a finished carpenter right he'd do like cabinetry and so do cabinets yeah yeah cabinets and table whatever yeah whatever yeah whatever you needed though but yeah he was he was I
Starting point is 00:10:08 mean he's really good carpenter I work I gotta give him credit for that but so one time when people get rid of big things and they had nowhere to go they'd be like like a ping-pong table or like put in the shop they put in the shop and one time he got a Pac-Man and we had all the cabinet cabinet and he put it home and it was like dude this rocks like yeah I don't really fuck with arcade games the only one I would ever really want maybe is like time crisis three yeah but if I could have anyone just to have in my house is a Jurassic Park game a little curtain that you sit in yeah yeah that's like full immersive in there yeah
Starting point is 00:10:42 that's just awesome and and let's talk cabinets a second I want to finish the story here about my dad and what a piece of shit he was so the Pac-Man thing and then why get home one day and I'm like Pac-Man's gone and I'm like what happened he's like oh it's broken we're gonna take it to a guy to fix it he lies and and and then he's like dude we couldn't it would be too expensive and I got it I was like all right well I was sad but I was like okay and then we go to his friend's house one time and he has it and it's just there and he just like gave it to his friend or sold it to him or some shit and it was and it was just
Starting point is 00:11:17 like and I just look at it and be like are you fucking are you and he didn't even prepare me it's clearly the same one and I'm just like did the friend have a kid he had a fucking older kid he had like this big fat fucking like half American half something like black huh what do you mean something going on just like a fucking he was a DDR he wasn't autistic but he was like a fucking like loser and he was like I was at the time me in my home now there's nothing wrong with I was 10 and a loser good at DDR he was like he was like a competitive DDR like a fat damn like a fat chubby like just fucking nerd who was he was on the
Starting point is 00:11:53 he was on the cutting edge of that the bleeding edge of those guys before he in fact he was the first time I tell you that being fat DDR is a great cheap exercise when you're staying fat the whole time most of those guys yeah but anyway this guy was like at the time maybe 14 or 16 and I was 10 and my brothers were eight we are so much more in the Pac-Man range enjoying it and my dad when you do that shit all the time he gave away a ping-pong table and we're like oh we loved me my brothers loved ping-pong we would go it was like we would see my dad would go he had like an extra little zone of the shop and he
Starting point is 00:12:29 just gave it to a friend he's just like he wanted male friend he wanted adult male friends more than he wanted his sons to have a good time yeah he's trying to buy he was a people pleaser for real my dad was like a fucking like a like a way little kids like yeah whatever you guys want but let's talk count fucking cabinets Jurassic Park awesome yeah Simpsons of course yeah I don't really like the Simpsons game you don't like the Simpsons game no it's very easy it's boring yeah it's fucking one of the easier games well you switched up rampage no that's it's cool yeah rampage was the dinosaur honestly time
Starting point is 00:13:10 crisis time crisis was the anytime I went to like a bowling alley in that time crisis yeah fuck yeah yeah I would like get into the story too mm-hmm like mad dog kidnapped Rachel yeah that's all I really remember of it I was never good enough at those games I would die immediately a time crisis is fucking the mechanics of it were great they're like pedal to hide yeah it was cool but I just suck dick at all yeah games it's not that's not my fucking cup of tea I don't think I was good at a single arcade game now that I think about it's recently played big buck hunter yeah yeah classic move mm-hmm but I'm bad at
Starting point is 00:13:46 that shit I was bad at the little NES when you had the little duck the duck hunter one yeah yeah quick you gotta be a quick draw yeah yeah I would do the movie cowboy you would stand right next to the course and right at the TV yeah you just hit it right in the fucking hand we should go shoot guns this week let's do it there's got to be a guy I think I saw a gun club somewhere here yeah but you have to be a member to shoot guns you might have they might do that thing where they make you join or something it was where I remember being Asheville North Carolina like years ago and like I don't know what their law is
Starting point is 00:14:17 or how it works but they don't have like bars you have to go to like a social club so you have to like have a membership to a social club to drink at certain places and Asheville yeah or may have been because we were doing a show there or something but I remember I just remember that the place we went to like I had to have a member vouch for me it was like a fucking VFW yeah there's no weights every bar yeah fucking wild North Carolina rocks yeah dude the fucking Hills yeah fucking the Smoky Hill knows that Tennessee yeah whatever dude who cares who gives a fuck fuck North Carolina yeah fuck the little vinegary
Starting point is 00:14:56 barbecue they got a little too big for their britches in the span of two sentences fuck them fuck duke fuck Mike Shaschevsky no now you've gone to North Carolina North Carolina North Carolina come on I thought he was just naming places I didn't realize take your shirt off I thought he was like a Tampa guy wait he's only saying North Carolina that song is not saying any other place let's see let's find out I believe he is from it would make a lot of sense to me to be so if he is then we PD Pablo you're exempt from Greenville yeah Carolina take your shirt off yep yep yep yep yep greenville
Starting point is 00:15:36 spinner like a helicopt I said it's like is that the right color you sure you know that's right it's like a Greenland Iceland you know kind of a fake out yeah there's blackland black black that's what they should call Africa they should call it black because you got England right you got fucking Italian land yep you got Chinese place black you have Chinese place Chinese Chinese place you got Japan town Japan town and then out of nowhere we go Africa that sounds nothing like now granted there's a country there they're on the right track yep they're on the they're doing it right they're close
Starting point is 00:16:21 there's one country mm-hmm and of course we mean the Cote d'Ivoire yeah Cote d'Ivoire sounds awesome yeah Ivory Coast is a fucking sick name you think you just feel like there's Ivory ever I kind of I don't kind of want to go I want to do a little Ghana trip dude awesome to go to Africa Africa seems like it'd be awesome absolutely I honestly really do like Nigerian people any time I mean they're really cool yeah yeah they got cool names yeah well they're chill they're very chill they're very excited about everything yeah yeah yeah they're like they have that like kind of entrepreneurial they love college they love
Starting point is 00:16:59 yeah but not in a way that like you know how like Persians are just they're really into fucking they're like you know I'm starting a fucking cell phone access you know black BMW yeah they're annoying but there's a there's a Nigerians are like I have a new con that I'm doing yeah yeah I don't know with quickstar yeah and it is a scam but it is one you do with your friends it is about friendship ultimately whereas like yeah Persians and fucking they have that like just that Guido Greek Greek people have it too where it's like they want to prove they're the best they're better than everybody that's why they're doing it whereas Nigerians seem like they're doing it for the love of the game yeah that's
Starting point is 00:17:39 your capitalists yeah yeah yeah yeah absolutely yeah yeah whereas Somalians what about Somalian pure libertarians oh yeah well pirates yeah that's the most libertarian you can be as a pirate yeah it's like the craze you the world is fucking there's no rules so but a fucking goat you're not living under it I'm gonna steal Tom Hanks is fucking a state get pussy on your international water listen to me I am a faggot now I am gay now I can't do it Tom Hanks but he'd probably be like no I'm gay knock knock knock I'm gay I'm gay I'm actually gay go fuck yourself go fuck you my ass the Hanks man yeah oh fuck dude Tom Cranks
Starting point is 00:18:28 Tom Cranks jacking off I'm beating off my penis hello I'm trying to jack off in here I'm trying to jack off how does he talk on this road to perdition in this road to penis do you think he loves jet of course it's just think he's proud of proud and loves get your first marriage no chat chat oh it's yeah thanks I think you meant jet no he's read his kid do you remember jet Travolta he's not read oh no you're right he's read his kid the other kid is from a different marriage remember jet Travolta I do remember he died on that island he died from being that guy's insane that guy's crazy that dude is nuts I saw him shitting his
Starting point is 00:19:31 pants a lunatic does that guy is a lunatic yeah no I think he loves him you're right he's read his kid so that means you know what I just realized this Chet is Greek oh Chet's great read his Greek so now you like him I'm back in I'd like to read her pussy you know yeah I'm like a book flip those lips like a book breaking news it would be cool if you could read a pussy and every page was a guy that's a lady fuck no that wouldn't be cool we I'd like to know like to know yeah you don't need to know and then the more pages the more guy she fucked so you know if she's you know yeah but that's look I have nothing
Starting point is 00:20:22 wrong with my balls got every time I fucked I got a wrinkle I would like that every time you fuck me in my cushy dreams Adam hit it yeah Adam don't you have something to tell the people I'd like to tell you guys something about cushy dreams which offers a full line of a premium smokable CBD they specialize in the extraordinary CBD rich hemp flower aka bud and pre-rolled CBD joints join the group of adults who are sick of vapes and gummies and want to smoke their CBD and molest children yeah nothing takes the edge on the group after a long day of CBD after a long day of filming of filming little sausage
Starting point is 00:21:09 pizza that sounds very cute like a sideways like fitted hat yeah just a skew yep nothing takes the edge off like a nice pre-roll what do you mean you don't have money for the pizza this is an eight-year-old with like a huge this should be legal from a close-up you couldn't tell like lunchables pizza yeah yeah yeah so that's what you want to smoke when you're filming child looks like high-quality marijuana feels like high-quality marijuana tastes like high-quality marijuana CBD content up to 20% which is some of the highest in the game and their attention to detail is noticeable like none other like none
Starting point is 00:21:57 other yeah you can notice it in every beautiful flower I love when I see when I'm smoking fake weed yeah and I can't help but stop to notice the attention to detail about how beautiful it is it's incredible it's incredible so they have independent lab testing it's grown in California it's the good shit folks this this is the good stuff the really good every batch is slow-cured for for two to four weeks to guarantee the maximum freshness and and preserve the flavor and you know what can I'm a cannabinoids I love can I love cannabinoids yeah so I don't want to lose the cannabinoids that's delta 9 mongoloid THC that's
Starting point is 00:22:38 right dude this is the same stuff you spoke this shit you get retorted we got the shit the retards how do you think it's so goofy you're smoking cushy dream it's a hundred percent hand-trimmed by professionals sorry I've lost my spot in the field by professionals experts compliance testers and never machine trimmed do you know this is not some kind of bullshit fucking manufactured by robot bullshit no this is real people yeah hand-picking this shit finding only the best nugs real adults
Starting point is 00:23:24 a flower so basically here's the deal it's so funny calling CBD like it's already pretty fucking stupid calling weed flower yeah and then we start talking about CBD anyway anyway I don't even understand why you get that not just the pre-rolls yeah some people like to put it in you know like to mix and make a blend oh that's right and so we're supposed to like cut down your like your regular I will say no joke when I when I quit weed because I did because I was like I'm smoking too much weed and I'm probably going to relapse on this cabin trip because we're near dispensary and
Starting point is 00:24:04 we're going to get bored we're going to start doing drugs yeah there's no cell phone service up here so all you can do is get in like smoke weed and go to that burger place yeah which was good by the way it was good but and we don't have cocaine this time right and we're gonna we're gonna go re-watch we have we're gonna go re-watch the James Bond movie which Adam now insists that he said oh yeah that's interesting no we do we do because Adam insists on the show because this is one that's just gonna be a rare dub let's just go ahead and finish the cushy dreams at Adam so basically they have two
Starting point is 00:24:39 different products that they sell they sell a CBD flower and a pre-roll CBD joint and each of these products the CBD flower comes in a 3.5 gram tin which is nitrogen sealed for optimal freshness and you can mix it with anything else you like to smoke mm-hmm they have three lines like order of quality like private reserve ultra premium and premium wow so I don't know it says in order of quality I don't know if private reserve or premium you're gonna have to smoke all three to find out fellas ultra premiums probably better than premium so private it was a logic yeah I guess private reserve is the nicest one that's
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Starting point is 00:25:58 that one's for guys that want to turn into girls slut or whore is for anyone that wants to fuck yeah so guys can be whores to guys can be whores to so and guys can be holes to so the pre-rolls are one gram a full gram and the cans are three point five grams aka an eighth so go to cushydreams.com spelt k use it k ush why a check I use promo code and come town for 20% off pussygives.com pussygives.com your CBD because you can yeah awesome and we're back and we're back and Adam lied about like oh yeah that's true no I was I said that Adam says that he said on this show that he loved the movie I literally said I cried
Starting point is 00:26:42 at the end you said you see see here's how we know he's lying because he's going back and he's clinging on to one thing he said which is you did say you got emotional why would I cry at the end of a movie that I didn't like because it was bad but it was the end no I was making it was the end of a chapter here and endings make you sad okay listen and ending and that's reasonable by the way let me catch this dub goodbyes are sad here's this here's here's what I said we were saying goodbye I said that Daniel Craig I said that the the like the the like sort of nod towards wokeness by hiring a black lady 007 backfire yes
Starting point is 00:27:19 because she was bad at her job and then had to get I don't understand how you have the confidence to do this after the breakfast sandwich fiasco no I'm fine with that we got to be fair we did bury the hatchet we buried the hatchet okay fine then I don't know how you have the confidence to do the chaos yes yeah there's a one he's a done that one is that one is and you're you are so lucky it happened off the show but you're supposedly cream no we can't come on it's too it's too bad you can't for Adam like I don't want to throw in my body in front of this one thank you stop I can't tell you this your whole body it does
Starting point is 00:28:01 it's that bad of a thing I can't have Adam flagellated for this in public and just remember this Adam I will always remember that I to be honest with truth be told I wouldn't say anything right even if you said I'm not but I just so that just so everyone knows my only thing is I'm saying the luck that you had that because we were moments away you are lucky that didn't come out you are lucky that didn't come out anyway yes I said so everyone knows humiliating to my boys and not only good boys and we were gonna keep it between the bull not only that but Adams he said oh I did something so embarrassing I said it I
Starting point is 00:28:45 know that hold on hold on and then there's a little bit of and then Nick said this is gonna be like one of those things where you pretend it's embarrassing but it's a bright but it is embarrassing it is embarrassing objectively it is also a brag it is exactly what Nick said was gonna happen to a fucking teeth yeah it was unbelievable actually I don't want to brag but someone told me the other day yeah that if Patrice O'Neill was alive I'd be his favorite comedian yeah then no it wasn't even like that it wasn't even like cuz you know that's not even embarrassing no right that's just a fucking gay thing you know it's your
Starting point is 00:29:15 shit is like oh these like four girls they want to have sex with me and we got back to their place and I busted immediately right right right right right right that is let down but you see I mean Adam that is like Ray let's move on you know what this is love you don't know what fucking shame is I listen Adam you got a deal on the table from the DA but your conduct is making them rethink it right now I'm the only thing keeping him from you I wouldn't do it hard time here's the reason here's the reason because I would flirt he's gonna get very I will don't do it don't do it don't call me
Starting point is 00:30:06 I'm an edge dancer no no because very often what you claim to do that and you just actually give it away yeah I'm an edge I know he does that all the time and they can't play with matches I'm gonna set the house we're gonna move on we're gonna hear me out okay the only reason I'm not the only reason I'm not saying anything yeah is because I have the utmost faith in Adam that he will top that on the show that's true that now he's leaving at some point where are you going what you just doing nothing he's literally doing nothing he's looking for a what is that it's a thermos for yeti bottle yeah that is nice what you spent
Starting point is 00:30:43 on that $150 I think it was $40 yeah and then it came with a form where they said you have to register it on their web I kind of wanted to get a lunchbox I was you know I needed a lunchbox and I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and I looked at the Yeti lunchbox is $80 hysterical and it's like what the fuck my dick is a fucking lunchbox yeah I'll take I'll take a taste of cold taste out cold that's a great bottle it's a great bottle I might have to get one honestly it's the best water bottle anyway and the poor excuse me but we're shitting excuse me don't and don't think that you got away from the James Bond
Starting point is 00:31:21 conversation either okay all I was saying was that here I'll tell you I tried they tried to like can I tell you exactly tried to appeal to woken us in a backfire I'll tell you exactly what you said okay what do I say what you say this is exactly how what you said about the movie the opening was really good the opening is one of the quiet quiet yes opening was good yes you're on opening was good okay I'm trying to hold you in contempt you said the opening was good you said the end got you emotional because it was the end of James Bond but that in the middle is quiet but in the middle it was bad no that's what you
Starting point is 00:31:55 said when we talked no the Cuba and the forest thing we're really sick the middle the two middle sections what basically what you saw you're completely and basically you said it was okay you did not say you like it you did not say you loved it why would I lie about really like it because Nick says you lie about reading chaos exactly thank you it's not different it's not it doesn't make it like it is a shitty beach read you know why Adam there's two people your friends with red you know why and because of that fucking thing about the scorpion and the fucking frog you're a scorpion motherfucker it doesn't make any
Starting point is 00:32:32 sense the scorpion killed himself he stung the frog and that's you trope you fucking lie you lie for weird little reasons and that's one of the central things of your personality you really are just a constant liar and not for anything huge that's the other thing it usually is something stupid and inconsequential right because you're a good guy but you love to lie so you get it out of your system with things that don't matter that Joe Rogan's really into chaos and I didn't want him if he was listening to things that I didn't read yeah it's not even like a impressive honestly on the way up here's my was
Starting point is 00:33:06 like I told my I told my I told my friend about it I think I said it the other day and she's like you should listen to audiobook of chaos on the way up that would be for they give a book report that would be funny you should have done that anyway for some reason in from since we lasted the episode you have upgraded your believe that I didn't like James Bond that you didn't you today you said you loved it as if it was a great movie from time from start no I said I said that the two movies that I've seen at the theater by us are Dune and James Bond I liked both of us you said you love you said now you're even now
Starting point is 00:33:46 you're lying about the thing you say to our face and that's the difference people say no see this is I mean incredible what's the difference now we liked and love because what you said was it was okay and it was kind of shitty but what happens I had a couple good parts and you upgraded that to love at the burger place now you're trying to walk it back to like because like all closer by love having known you for a decade now I'm going back to love I can tell you I know that my head immediately I heard that and I said something's up yeah and I put Mel bullshit on James Bond something I had the same reaction I was
Starting point is 00:34:29 like something happened and then I put my mind immediately goes to which one of our friends that you respect more yes told you they love that you had the retcon first of all and I will say this I respect the only person I know the only person I know that said that they loved the movie with Sean you told me that you saw him this is good this is a nice piece of evidence because now hold on did you see James Bond because you claim you didn't know that guy I don't know the guy we're talking about here so your friend Sean you claim that you don't know that he said that so all we have to prove now is that Sean told him
Starting point is 00:35:06 that it was calling right now let's get him on and that will that will and you have hung yourself there I'm happy this is gonna be a rare dub for me I'll say this I didn't think like Nick thought right Nick you were you're a hundred percent correct about it all I know I'm just a good cop that's all I am Nick is going back to a good cop here's the thing I'm a guy yeah you're the good you're the seasoned detective I'm new on the force I heard love something went wrong I was like no that's not what you said no Nick is Denzel I was confused yeah yeah that's gonna make you smoke sess that's sure that's sure that is yeah
Starting point is 00:35:40 that is me and Nick but they're I loved you just absolutely look here's what I'm willing to bet my life on that you upgraded your opinion of up known time to die since the time we talked I really okay I guarantee you did that I probably said I loved to the burger place I really had fun seeing it and I enjoyed going to see it and is that a modifier of love I'm sorry you keep shifting around Adam you're like one of those watches the see-through so the gears are all because you it was weird because you didn't say you loved it no you said it
Starting point is 00:36:28 was just okay here's the thing Adam you have to understand that it was bad I don't remember you don't have you don't have opinions you have you have aesthetic choices that you make that reflect on you anytime you say you like or don't like something it has nothing to do with your emotional relation to the underlying thing I only have to do with your emotional relationship to yourself okay so I can't vouch for that all I can say I don't know it may be a high my husk no you're a good person that cares about your friends no I must you have good you have good I absorb you do absorb you're definitely an absorber I
Starting point is 00:37:05 absorb we've seen it time after time don't let me go back to the case of O'Brien versus Friedland Adam genuinely Adam genuinely enjoys his life so he doesn't need to enjoy there's a lot so it's really there's not like a piece of art isn't gonna elevate him out of the doldrums that's come on you that's you're you're insulting and complimenting I think you're taking it I think you're a little too extreme in your single but I think you're on to something has any affect frankly no no I think and I will say this I think I think you twenty five percent dude and 75% I think Nick is right three quarters of the time so I'm
Starting point is 00:37:52 gonna give you a more charitable reading on it you'll sit there you'll watch you'll sit there and watch like come and see and you'll think I'm gonna be a guy that likes this movie what a beautiful day it is outside I'm gonna I'm gonna go I'm gonna have a piece of expensive toast that movie put me in a terrible mood no yes it did it was it was it was fucking that's one of the heaviest movies I've ever seen that's what you texted everyone you know respect after you thought that movie is let them know that you felt that way after watching the movie no you probably during the first five minutes of the
Starting point is 00:38:30 movie you started texting and a check box with no you're right you know it is it's the way you used to do like reading for like college class we're like I need three things for discussion three things and I'm not gonna read the whole and you read the intro the intro you go to a random part you read the conclusion that's how you interact with art because everything is about the discussion that you're gonna have next time not everything I said 25 75 my bump at the 40 60 but it's more a lot of things that I love not completely independent of social pressure but okay that's true there are a lot but there's
Starting point is 00:39:11 more that you like because of social pressure badass it is cool the hook yeah I get a lot of use out of that thing what do you use it for string shoes it's good for that yeah I'm surprised because I don't even know what it is but it's had a lot of use I've never that's the best kind of tool yeah we can't exactly dude I thought I've said it before in the show but like a girl I was dating got me a Swiss Army knife years ago and I was like what the fuck is this yeah you know it's like you're checking out somewhere and you're like and I've now I have two of your Swiss Army knife guy now yeah I can't live without it
Starting point is 00:39:46 it's how often I use this major to yeah it's a Swiss Army knife respect this is like a chisel thing I think it's a screwdriver let me see it's a flat head screwdriver yeah how did you get the legs on the TV by the way I went into the family's garage and found a Phillips head screw ratcheting screw driver very nicely done brother I love when it ratchets the ratchet fad at fucking good yeah you feel like you're a union man I feel right you know what I I've never been able to find but as a tool in the movie ghost dog way the samurai mm-hmm he's got one of those screwdrivers because he steals a license plate mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:40:25 where it goes on the the screw and you just push it in and out and it like the oh yeah lateral movement makes the thing so you can just do it real quick and it just pulls the he steals a license my dad had one of those because he had all these fucking tools yeah I never see one it was fun to fuck around with the what's the advantage of that so you can steal license plate it's faster faster than tight squeeze and a ratcheting tight squeeze if you can't like turn your shit push pushing is a lot easier than turning yeah I guess so yeah you get more leverage and when we talk about super organics all right nice don't
Starting point is 00:40:58 forget to mention super organics they have a Delta 8 product now that's on a different website that I forgot to call the guy back to get the name of the website and maybe and maybe it'll probably be linked you won't have it on next week's episode but maybe the week after a week after that you might hear about it all right so basically the url is get super leaf comm slash that's an awesome place to start so let's start off with the url this is the super speciosa ad read that's what it says at the top speciosa is pronounced best you're getting the honesty there's so far
Starting point is 00:41:37 because I talked to this guy on the phone recently and he was like yeah we're launching a delta a thing and he's like so what's delta a well it's beautiful it's like a yes it's a legal it's basically because I know Delta 9 but it's either Delta 8 or Delta 8 but it's not like Delta 9 is the one that's just wheat and Delta 8 is the one that's I've taken Delta 8 edibles it's weed yeah it's a hundred percent yeah it's just one little thing is different I don't know what it is bro but you can buy it at bodega's and there was what when I was truly addicted to weed in early because I was like the beginning part of the tour
Starting point is 00:42:11 I was just getting so fucked up and I needed massive amounts of edibles to get me well super special as they told me they're changing the name of the company I still don't I still have no idea what the name of the company is it's not super special well which honestly I kind of like cuz it's sort of like an anti-branding sort of which I like about it it's not anti-branding it's just what's it gives me like the product it gives me like Asian market vibes you know where their company yes super good time good luck LLC number one big stuff happy dragon yeah and it's the same product and the next day you come back
Starting point is 00:42:45 and it's completely different but I'll tell you I mean look it's drugs the important thing is you are L is get super leaf comm slash get super leaf and hopefully they have a little web ring or something remember those and then you can click on those these be a thing websites that would be in web rings so the bottom of them you could hit next and would take you a completely different other links other like you know like link to your friends yeah sister web to help your traffic that's when the internet was fun yeah no I don't know if those days it was fun that's fun you just go to a new place you don't even know what it is yeah you remember what was the website
Starting point is 00:43:18 it was like that or you just like hit a button and take you to random website I don't know there's a lot of I didn't have the internet back then creative gives your whole body and this was like 2011 2012 but for some people it's like coffee for your cock remember what kind of way what kind of websites we're trying to remember the name it was a website that like girls would use it would like you click the button it would just take you to let me fuck stop calm yeah it would just take you to random web stumble upon oh yeah I remember that I remember oh that was in the oh damn you just fucking opened something up in my mind that was the
Starting point is 00:43:54 tumblr porn days yeah where you would like jack off the metal yeah Brazilian women that tumblr.com or fuck yeah black it was everything was fuck yeah something you don't get that anymore I love that that was a great time into tumblr yeah they took the porn off tumblr the porn dude that was a fucking awesome era oh dude you just transported me back in my house we do this fucking gay ass read and let's fucking talk about jacking off are you an aging millennial do you have new aches and pains cratum is great for a pain relief if you hurt your back pull a muscle from all that fucking unwind with a glass of
Starting point is 00:44:30 cratum tea yep if you're only jerking and you develop a wrist injury and you need a little bit more push to get to come down super speciosis cratum will get you there cratum is the secret supplement that influencers don't want you influencers influencers don't want you to know about why are they hoarding it why are they hoarding it for themselves there should be a comma right cratum is a great pre-workout it helps you write jokes I imagine this is why you the listener are so damn funny mm-hmm cratum is a super leaf it's cousin coffee is just brown water that's right you fucking pussy we drink coffee
Starting point is 00:45:11 would you drink fucking hey look at this this over here cousin coffee cousin coffee my cousin let's give that over there the microphone get motherfucking cousin coffee I would once again suggest that everyone tries cratum instead of my stinky brown mortar right we don't know what's brown water super speciosis cratum is a hundred percent all-natural one ingredient cratum leaf cratum can help improve your mood deliver energy and reduce pain cratum helps people feel better and it's also used to relieve stress and take the edge off yes sir so super specie also wants you to go to to come again with an unlimited use
Starting point is 00:45:49 of their 20% off promo code promo code come town so go to get super leaf comm slash come town for 20% off your entire order yes sir that's get super leaf comm slash come town promo code come town for 20% off yes and let's got it and don't forget their delta 8 on some weird website and also come see me I'll this is Thanksgiving so I'm happy Thanksgiving I'm gonna be in Los Angeles taping my special and I'm probably gonna have some LA area shows the specials probably sold out by now but there's some LA area shows before and after that I'm also gonna tape a special that I didn't prepare for this at all special
Starting point is 00:46:27 that'd be good and it's a straight-up hour of you should do the exact the first time you do stand up first time and just tape it it would be fun yeah one night only and it's called this can't be any shittier than anything all the you know women the women are putting it yeah at least I'm not a woman live in Delaware at least I'm not a woman one time was it what one of one of my best lines this is just thing an old man says yeah and I was gonna say come see me in Boston December 9th through the 11th oh I might do a Baltimore warm-up show hopefully hopefully that's sold out coming but anyway we're at M&T Bank
Starting point is 00:47:08 Stadium I just know a place that umar hooked up that I did a show one time and it was pretty good what was place I don't remember it's in some market somewhere okay they have like a little side room it's not like a good home or has real fun venues yeah but this is more like just like a room that we're gonna put a fucking speaker in yeah it's not like a real nice venue but there's a nice place but it's not it's like they usually do weddings and shit what was a little nice what was the theater is connected to club Charles fucking yellow sign I love the yellow sign that's where we did our show that was a great show
Starting point is 00:47:40 dude yeah that was one of my highlights in comedy doing that show yeah dude yellow sign was fucking sick yeah damn I just hang at the bar after it was a group that was a great show yeah we would hang out that was a fucking awesome night John Waters would be in there getting head yeah it would be from some hot young guy him for not moving to New York like every other gay guy just holding it down in his small town little pencil with gay guys mm-hmm yeah should I go back dude John Waters Dave yeah he's he's you can easily just move back and be a local celebrity you got enough money you should buy like buy one of those
Starting point is 00:48:17 old theaters yeah that would be sick and then just be a program it to have film festivals and also do a monthly show there yeah weekly fucking who cares yeah I really could that is much do you want I wonder if you could buy like the senator theater and how much it's had to I think it was sold recently because it used to be like the last senator's part yeah that's true and so somebody must have bought it yeah there's probably a theater but that'll give you an idea of how much that shit costs right it was probably got like um poison and stuff and I mean I would buy yellow sign that'd be sick it's too kind of small
Starting point is 00:48:53 it is small oh boys we got a rope swing at this place don't look at that if you guys want to push me on the swing later you wish come on dude not gonna happen chief yeah because the senator was renovated and probably like ten years ago right yeah nevermind there's like two million probably what I guess they're unrelated owners buzz and Kathleen Cusack and so who's John Cusack he's he's blocked all of us on block all of us oh dude this sucks you know what would have been perfect what oh it's the creative a lot there was a porn theater that's they got sold for 30 grand in Baltimore yeah that would be fucking sick to buy an
Starting point is 00:49:37 old porn theater yeah and turn it into just like a sweet venue but no I can't I love Baltimore but I'm a fucking I'm a big-city bastard what can I say I love New York I'm a living Queens probably Portland has a real cool theater yeah you remember that one Portland Oregon yeah Portland rocks dude I think I think my boy's gonna move back I don't want to be in Portland for like four four times a month yeah I think Ian Carmel before he moved to LA they had a show at some theater in Portland that I remember going to once the Aladdin theater maybe I can't remember but I remember being like this is fucking awesome yeah big old
Starting point is 00:50:14 theater firehouse or something like that anyway who gives a fuck yeah dude that's certainly that is one way my life could go and it would be awesome yeah and also you're not that far from New York I just buy an awesome house in Baltimore it's not that far it's put three and a half hours the only problem is the taxes right yeah in the city the tax are pretty high but whatever I don't give a fuck yeah but you just you just I love paying for the Baltimore Police Department I love for some fat cocks I'm from Hartford County and does fucking hate crimes does I love that I get to pay my taxes so he makes $200,000 a year
Starting point is 00:50:53 for something they make a lot yeah dude cops make so much I'm so fucking cops have such a yeah they make all their money in overtime they get overtime they get everything they're fucking and they complain and oh you know what I was complaining this this shit the Boulevard Theater in Waverly oh yeah I was out two years out from my pitch yeah it's like right at 33rd and Greenmount I love that place dude yeah that you could buy probably I probably could man and I like that area too but it's fuck yeah never mind this over 1.2 okay never mind cheaper than a one bedroom apartment in New York no it's not you get a one
Starting point is 00:51:29 bedroom you're for cheaper than that but it's an apartment not a house like I could we could buy an apartment right now but it's like who want I don't want to buy an apartment I want a house yeah I want to fucking I want a little garden dude I'm a fucking immigrant I just want to fucking yeah I want to be in a wife beater just washing my cement yeah I don't want to be in a fucking you know patting your patting your brow on the fourth story yeah with your hot wife yeah my wife too hot putting linens on the on the line I need to go to Greece and find me a fucking you gotta get one of those bitch I do you got to get like
Starting point is 00:52:04 the like the lady that Tony Soprano imagine I think that's the I really do think I'm gonna go to Southern European ideal woman I think I'm wearing like a children's Halloween costume fuck yeah yeah yeah that's my favorite dude that was so awesome yeah yeah oh no that's the lady in Italy that's the mob boss no the woman he hallucinates woman he hallucinates he pretends he has lunch staying at the Cusimano's baby sir yeah yeah yeah yeah she's a dental student from Italy yeah I definitely do need me a bitch like that is perfect anyway back to tumblr and jacking off to it F yeah Brazilian girls was a favorite I just
Starting point is 00:52:46 want a modest family somewhere nice little house quiet okay it's that problem nobody yeah yeah yeah they yeah you're clean you're clean and then you have like a back injury and you have a minor procedure and he's like I look just in case I'll give you some of these just going to dinner a whole family silent breeding pizza I'm clearly on drugs and I'm like isn't this great yeah you hold your son's hand too hard you're like I love you so I'm just sweating yeah you can just feel the sweat in my hand my hands like just kind of it's got a tremor
Starting point is 00:53:24 that would be awesome and they know I'm dying they just wanted to be over with yeah they're just all biting their time there are a lot of guys like that yeah it's it's very funny it's so funny that's a thing that's you know boomers don't really get credit but they really know how to just cruise through like a supposedly middle-class life just being fucking absolute tragedies and destroying everyone around you know and not even really good they're the best at it and they think they're so defiant just put on a yeah put on a happy face because of what they did in college literally it doesn't even that shows
Starting point is 00:53:59 you man you get pussy for like six months and your drugs they got put they were pussy a little acid and didn't get a haircut for a year you know like we changed the world yeah Gen Xers all like did ecstasy and I'd gay sex with each other yeah literally nothing matters right right let's just make the best music they do have better music honestly now I'm sorry but fuck the Beatles and the Rolling Stones awesome screaming trees godsmack wow dude he went there yeah I can't I can't think boomers are so clear in my mind but who's like a gen X person that we know that I would that I could like
Starting point is 00:54:42 my friend Norman you know my okay people in there literally every colder comedian your friends with Bobby those guys are Jen eggs yeah I guess you're right they're not boomers are not how old's Bobby 50 yeah if you're 50 yeah it's also too it's one of those things where it's like what's a zoomer what's a millennial you can sort of pick and also a lot of Gen X I pick zoomer a lot of Gen X I pick Gen X I'm basically your dad you pick Gen X yeah out of your zoomer you guys a boomer I'm a zoomer I don't care I don't wear it care about shit dancing on tiktok I guess but you know it is a lot of Gen X people like
Starting point is 00:55:17 culturally picked being boomers even though they're younger they're all listening to like I mean a lot of them like listen to fucking you know the Beatles shit like Zeppelin that kind of shit like I don't know I think that there is a weird I guess Gen X I think of is like I don't know like you were saying one time Adam like guys with their cocks pierced or yeah leather jacket yeah I haven't gay sex it raves yeah yeah I think I think of them as pretty fucking yeah losers when there was like I was the older the people in that age group I respect culturally in the boomers in the early 90s the Grateful
Starting point is 00:55:51 Dead came back and they got huge like the biggest they ever got right before Jerry died and also acid was introduced to clubs interesting acid house and ecstasy and that's kind of there that was their moment early 90s woodstock 94 I see was there what's that for the rapes yeah so they did Woodstock up until 99 no they did 69 94 and 99 really there's a 94 yeah they brought it back for the what is that the 25th yeah the 25th Woodstock 94 I had no idea yeah what's that 94 was are you here about 99 forget about it thirst or whatever yeah because the rapes of 99 really take the rapes of 99 who's in Woodstock 94 now I'm
Starting point is 00:56:39 interested oh baby suck a fucking pussy I was too young no you weren't 12 you 94 I was seven you were seven damn you're old dude I was only five I remember having gen X babysitters and wanting to fuck them as a little kid bunch of shit I've never heard like teenage girls when we were just big big ass tits and paraphernal yeah flannel yeah I was associated with flannel with those we got the violent fem Cheryl Crow blues traveler I think a flex twin that's sick little Louie Vega I don't know the fuck that is what's a good name Frankie bones DJ spooky that sounds Joe Cocker Cypress Hill Joe Cocker came back
Starting point is 00:57:33 Crosby stills a Nash Melissa Etheridge nine-inch nails Metallica Aerosmith goddamn salt and pepper that's Primus the band the cranberries Bob Dylan played 94 but not 69 damn oh Aerosmith was in the original Woodstock too were they yeah how I don't know oh they were at it they went to it yeah I don't think they're in there yeah and then Sunday the Almond Brothers band Bob Dylan your boy red hot chili peppers porno for pyros everyone thinks he was at the first one or people think but he wasn't Gil Scott Herron the Neville Brothers Santana oh yeah Green Day dude it's a big show do you have the time to look at
Starting point is 00:58:27 my little ass dick Nick was at Woodstock 94 I was yeah were you you were the baby that they sucked off I was wait a minute I was just a little five-year-old guy you guys were six and seven mm-hmm yep but you weighed as much as the entire elementary now I wasn't fat then you had a special bus that took you to school I got a monster truck we've been over this I got fat in third grade when I realized you could get milk for free so I used my milk money to buy cupcakes yeah that was the beginning of that's what did it it was that's just smart it was smart you're just a smart you're a fat cat I was the cutting deals mmm well you got
Starting point is 00:59:16 to take your call don't you at one we got what is we got 12 it's 1255 okay we could do what listen we can one big we can spoil spoil the listeners with an extra minute this one yeah one big riff or we could just I could keep reading off the Wikipedia who the hell was Orville Redenbacher this is just one of some airplane airplane that fucked around with popcorn yeah I think so yeah this made a bunch of airplanes and he was like you know what time to go the movies bitch yeah get your pussy out I'm gonna put some corn in it and see what happens I think that's who he was and then he fucked the bitch so hard the
Starting point is 00:59:54 shit started popped out turned into pop yeah so he threw and he was a horn in her pussy shit don't invent two things I don't know that he called up his brother yeah who was his brother I don't know Frank Lloyd Wright oh he was making houses over Redenbacher and Frank Lloyd Wright invented the airplanes I don't know the Wright brothers the Wright brothers yep yeah Redenbacher is a stage name yeah yeah he would go on stage and fuck pussy so good it turned into popcorn he would throw unpopped kernels in a girl's pussy fuck it so fast it got so hot it pops the original style of popping that
Starting point is 01:00:31 pussy that's where popping the pussy comes from pussy popping you know what and they're pussy popping who invented popcorn there we go and that's a big and as Adam promised one big

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